.
.
I always like days like that. The alarm is a brutal tool, a necessary one at times. It just seems, even on days where I have slept enough and want to go and feel like going and make it out, being awaken by an alarm clock is like being shocked awake. I just remembered to turn it off so I won't hear it's nasty rudeness at all. And I feel pretty good. Today, for the most part, should be an easy one.
I have already torn into the dishes, put a load of laundry in the wash, and am fluffing some clothes I let set a bit long. In twenty minutes I will check all that. While up I will put bedding on the spare bed. As towels come up I will balance the towels in the second bathroom with those in mine, and put out a load of toilet paper in the second bathroom. Hopefully I can have the dishes done and the laundry as completed as possible by noon. Then a shower. As I dry, I have a few more hours to tinker on what I can do in the last hours before I go. I know I have done what I could, little as that was.
I think I have a small ice-chest somewhere. If I can find it, I will load it with some ice and soda. I am pretty sure my mom will be hungry. They no longer feed them on short flights, during meal times, as if that would really be good anyway. If I know her, and I do, she didn't eat on the way out. I have two places for her to choose. I am hoping to take her to Maddox on my way through or sometime before she returns, barring that the place I found last night has a number of delicacies that are right along the lines of food she understands. I have their number, so I can call on my way through and order pick-up, if that is what my mother prefers. That or tomato or chicken soup and a grilled cheese sandwich if she prefers to wait or isn't feeling all that well.
If her first day is mostly down and out, or first several, that is fine. I can slowly continue my efforts. I might be a cripple but I do try. I do everything I can do and them some, often. At least in my estimate. It might not be much. But in the end it isn't about what someone else can do. You are gauged on your ability. The world does gauge you on some norm, but the world is doomed and a silly place often anyway. I suppose my efforts are much like the widow's mite. Small in comparison to what others can and do give, but all I have. And I am rather cheery about it, quite happy to give. I just want to figure out how to give a bit more. The difference is, my efforts don't go to God. I never quite get to that point. But I have made an effort to try to do even that. I have never been contacted back. I will have to call about that.
Well, on to a bit of waking up while the clothes are refurbished and the dishes cool. Good day.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Much done.
.
.
Nothing was straightforward or particularly simple, mostly. First I realized I had to clean out the Xterra a bit before I could do much. I cleaned and cleared, leaving only what is supposed to be in the vehicle in it. Okay the coin turn in went without a hitch. It was $280, not $287 though. And the inspection went well and was only $17. The registration took a bit more time, as they were going to charge me the full amount and I said that I was not required to pay that, only after a bit of a tussle did she finally tell me that I had to go to another office and do more paperwork, then return with that paperwork, and start all over. She really hated seeing me not have to pay the full amount, and hated being helpful even more. She is married to the state and this is her share of the bread and butter or something. Hopefully they had this all on file, I was thinking on my way there, as I had done it last year and thought it permanent. I wasn't even sure where the required paperwork to reapply might be! It did turn out that they kept it on file and the process was rather painless. Finally I have my vehicle registered for this year. Next for the oil change. I was there a good half an hour early. It took two and a half hours for the job to be finished. It seems whoever put the oil filter on put it on wrong and it was leaking so they had to do it over. Full synthetic, from the start, this time at least.
After that, everything went fine. I picked up my friend, and just shortly after he finished his afternoon physical rehab. We went shopping at Walmart, he had a few items on his list. Then we went to dinner. While leaving Walmart we met his sister. She suggested a place, where they make their own fries and real hamburgers. After a short visit we went there. It was good. Further, it is in a town closer to my home than Logan. A place my mother would like. Simple, real, food. The way diners used to be, really. On our way back, my friend asked if we could stop at Cal-Ranch (a sort of country/farm store). I didn't really want to, but, you know, he doesn't get out ofjail that place often, so... I relented. We ran into a friend of his, who works there. We both chatted with him a bit, but on target. He is an employee, so we have to keep it official.
I found out about the XD 9mm. It seems the XD compact doesn't accept the 19 round magazine but the XD-M does. And since it is the XD-M 9mm that I am interested in, I should just be hunky dory. I also looked the Husqvarna chain saws over, again, again. *drool* It's on my list, you know, a rancher 445 or 455. The guy working there (different from the guy above) said he has been working there for a several years and that it never comes on sale (though I saw a sale on it last year, so). He came up and chatted about the saws, so I asked about sales. But he suggested if I opened a credit card with them, I would get a ten percent discount. Oops, don't fib to someone who knows better. I let it slide, but I know I can't trust that guy now. It's how I roll. My friend enjoyed looking, reading, checking, and just being out and about. But it was time to take him back. Sunday he asked? Sunday indeed. He wants his 9mm highpoint rifle, the .357 (with .38 loads, though he asked me to bring some .357 loads too), and the .45. I can do that.
On the way to taking him home I filled the X for the drive, and ran it through the wash. My friend suggested rain was coming, by the look of things. Bah! I have seen it like this for a week without a drop on the ground. Which is true. So I took him back, then almost went home without shopping. I was a mile out of town before I realized, a mile and a half before I decided I best return and do some shopping. My mother suggested that she will need some babysitting the first few days. Just getting over a cold (she hopes) and the flight, will make her a bit low. Not a problem, so I suggested fried cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. After a pause, she thought that sounded good, then super! I grabbed several cans of family sized tomato and chicken noodle soup, crackers, pepperjack, munster, and mild cheddar cheese slices, heavy whipping cream (for very rich tomato soup), her type of soda and coffee, and maybe something else. I bought artisan sourdough and zucchini bread which was sold at a bakery near the gas station already. So I am ready to go. On the way home... it rained. Doh! Argh! @#$@#^%$#%!
My mom called but I missed the call, didn't even hear the phone (again?). It seems she is going to quit smoking, or try, while here! She actually bought her own patches, so I will have to buy mine. She suggests we will begin the 16th, the day after her arrival. Fair enough. All good news.
Now, I am cooked. But I need to try to do a few last things. A couple of loads of dishes and laundry. Then bedtime. She isn't arriving until later in the afternoon, so I have a little time tomorrow too. Either to sleep a little later, get more work done, or a bit of both. I need to leave here around 14:00, which will give me an hour to play with, depending on traffic. I want to be in the terminal, waiting for her, this time. Parking fees be damned and driving waiting area be damned. Last time I did what the signs said and it was a nightmare figuring out how to connect with her, which area she would be in, and all that. Not again.
Well, I best get to it. Two or three loads of dishes and two or three loads of laundry should see me into being much more ready for a limping but happy to be here mother.
Good night.
.
Nothing was straightforward or particularly simple, mostly. First I realized I had to clean out the Xterra a bit before I could do much. I cleaned and cleared, leaving only what is supposed to be in the vehicle in it. Okay the coin turn in went without a hitch. It was $280, not $287 though. And the inspection went well and was only $17. The registration took a bit more time, as they were going to charge me the full amount and I said that I was not required to pay that, only after a bit of a tussle did she finally tell me that I had to go to another office and do more paperwork, then return with that paperwork, and start all over. She really hated seeing me not have to pay the full amount, and hated being helpful even more. She is married to the state and this is her share of the bread and butter or something. Hopefully they had this all on file, I was thinking on my way there, as I had done it last year and thought it permanent. I wasn't even sure where the required paperwork to reapply might be! It did turn out that they kept it on file and the process was rather painless. Finally I have my vehicle registered for this year. Next for the oil change. I was there a good half an hour early. It took two and a half hours for the job to be finished. It seems whoever put the oil filter on put it on wrong and it was leaking so they had to do it over. Full synthetic, from the start, this time at least.
After that, everything went fine. I picked up my friend, and just shortly after he finished his afternoon physical rehab. We went shopping at Walmart, he had a few items on his list. Then we went to dinner. While leaving Walmart we met his sister. She suggested a place, where they make their own fries and real hamburgers. After a short visit we went there. It was good. Further, it is in a town closer to my home than Logan. A place my mother would like. Simple, real, food. The way diners used to be, really. On our way back, my friend asked if we could stop at Cal-Ranch (a sort of country/farm store). I didn't really want to, but, you know, he doesn't get out of
I found out about the XD 9mm. It seems the XD compact doesn't accept the 19 round magazine but the XD-M does. And since it is the XD-M 9mm that I am interested in, I should just be hunky dory. I also looked the Husqvarna chain saws over, again, again. *drool* It's on my list, you know, a rancher 445 or 455. The guy working there (different from the guy above) said he has been working there for a several years and that it never comes on sale (though I saw a sale on it last year, so). He came up and chatted about the saws, so I asked about sales. But he suggested if I opened a credit card with them, I would get a ten percent discount. Oops, don't fib to someone who knows better. I let it slide, but I know I can't trust that guy now. It's how I roll. My friend enjoyed looking, reading, checking, and just being out and about. But it was time to take him back. Sunday he asked? Sunday indeed. He wants his 9mm highpoint rifle, the .357 (with .38 loads, though he asked me to bring some .357 loads too), and the .45. I can do that.
On the way to taking him home I filled the X for the drive, and ran it through the wash. My friend suggested rain was coming, by the look of things. Bah! I have seen it like this for a week without a drop on the ground. Which is true. So I took him back, then almost went home without shopping. I was a mile out of town before I realized, a mile and a half before I decided I best return and do some shopping. My mother suggested that she will need some babysitting the first few days. Just getting over a cold (she hopes) and the flight, will make her a bit low. Not a problem, so I suggested fried cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. After a pause, she thought that sounded good, then super! I grabbed several cans of family sized tomato and chicken noodle soup, crackers, pepperjack, munster, and mild cheddar cheese slices, heavy whipping cream (for very rich tomato soup), her type of soda and coffee, and maybe something else. I bought artisan sourdough and zucchini bread which was sold at a bakery near the gas station already. So I am ready to go. On the way home... it rained. Doh! Argh! @#$@#^%$#%!
My mom called but I missed the call, didn't even hear the phone (again?). It seems she is going to quit smoking, or try, while here! She actually bought her own patches, so I will have to buy mine. She suggests we will begin the 16th, the day after her arrival. Fair enough. All good news.
Now, I am cooked. But I need to try to do a few last things. A couple of loads of dishes and laundry. Then bedtime. She isn't arriving until later in the afternoon, so I have a little time tomorrow too. Either to sleep a little later, get more work done, or a bit of both. I need to leave here around 14:00, which will give me an hour to play with, depending on traffic. I want to be in the terminal, waiting for her, this time. Parking fees be damned and driving waiting area be damned. Last time I did what the signs said and it was a nightmare figuring out how to connect with her, which area she would be in, and all that. Not again.
Well, I best get to it. Two or three loads of dishes and two or three loads of laundry should see me into being much more ready for a limping but happy to be here mother.
Good night.
What is it?
.
.
After being on medicine for many months now, and other than a few weeks of not logging my stats, patterns emerge. When I am, or am beginning to do poorly, healthwise, my stats climb. The higher and the faster the climb, the worse I do. It, for me, is very much a human barometric pressure. The docs say they want to see my charts. And they always look. But either they can interpret bodily Swahili or they have no clue and just look because they feel that from me, doing something everyday while I die is important. I don't trust them to tell me of problems, or if my case is odd to them. Actually, I doubt if they would, or even could if they wanted to. That is, assuming they might even actually know. I see a new intern every time, and I think even the overseers rotate out, as I saw one I haven't seen in the six months I have been going. There is zero continuity of care. Just notes handed off, with no context.
You realize how flat emails and such can be. Something can sound absolutely cruel. Even a smiley face won't fix some things. Imagine if your health care is based on that? And worse, it makes it impossible for there to be any kind of real trust between patient and doctor. They just drone the same thing the last one droned about without considering whether that had already been tried and found to fail. Still, I know a bit more, on my own and for myself. What it means is that there is something else and they haven't caught it, and further, they have quit looking.
The other night, when I started using my CPAP again? The electricity went out. I have no idea when it went out. It seems to have been out for two to four hours. It, obviously, didn't kill me. But more, it didn't wake me. Even more interesting? I woke with my CPAP on. I doubt if I could have clumsily put it back on after stripping it off in the middle of the night. Darned odd, I'll tell you.
Well, things to do and little time to prepare. Have a good day. Work for your halos, get it done, and don't worry about the little things (or the big ones) that you simply can't change. Much of life we are merely dogs with a taste for bumpers. Even those of us "lucky" enough to fulfill our dreams... probably regret it. :p
.
After being on medicine for many months now, and other than a few weeks of not logging my stats, patterns emerge. When I am, or am beginning to do poorly, healthwise, my stats climb. The higher and the faster the climb, the worse I do. It, for me, is very much a human barometric pressure. The docs say they want to see my charts. And they always look. But either they can interpret bodily Swahili or they have no clue and just look because they feel that from me, doing something everyday while I die is important. I don't trust them to tell me of problems, or if my case is odd to them. Actually, I doubt if they would, or even could if they wanted to. That is, assuming they might even actually know. I see a new intern every time, and I think even the overseers rotate out, as I saw one I haven't seen in the six months I have been going. There is zero continuity of care. Just notes handed off, with no context.
You realize how flat emails and such can be. Something can sound absolutely cruel. Even a smiley face won't fix some things. Imagine if your health care is based on that? And worse, it makes it impossible for there to be any kind of real trust between patient and doctor. They just drone the same thing the last one droned about without considering whether that had already been tried and found to fail. Still, I know a bit more, on my own and for myself. What it means is that there is something else and they haven't caught it, and further, they have quit looking.
The other night, when I started using my CPAP again? The electricity went out. I have no idea when it went out. It seems to have been out for two to four hours. It, obviously, didn't kill me. But more, it didn't wake me. Even more interesting? I woke with my CPAP on. I doubt if I could have clumsily put it back on after stripping it off in the middle of the night. Darned odd, I'll tell you.
Well, things to do and little time to prepare. Have a good day. Work for your halos, get it done, and don't worry about the little things (or the big ones) that you simply can't change. Much of life we are merely dogs with a taste for bumpers. Even those of us "lucky" enough to fulfill our dreams... probably regret it. :p
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Could it be?
.
.
Does a Republican take a heavily Democrat district and a mostly Democrat district? Oh, sure, I heard the drum beating as we approached the election. But I feared the pollsters might actually have been trying to make the things look better for Republicans for a change. Then again, not that I expect much from Republicans from such districts. Another Brown-out, another day. What it seems to imply, however, is that Democrats are in such huge trouble they have no chance to hold anything. It isn't even looking like Democrats stayed home. No, they seem to have shown up and voted against 'their own man'. If this all proves out, I will be feeling better.
Of course, now we have to worry about candidates. The one I think is the best is Perry. The problem is he has some serious problems and he doesn't seem to realize when to have a pissing contest and when to apologize. Romney should have helped Perry see this, with Romneycare. Perry has one serious and one more serious problem that he needs to bandage or he'll hemorrhage his support like a balloon hit by a howitzer. The serious one is his executive order attempting to force all girls to receive a nefarious 'dirty girl' shot. Not only ordering it forward but what the shot indicates is part of the issue. He needs to apologize, solidly, and say he learned his lesson. The big problem is immigration. Again, he needs to say what he will do regarding immigration, as president, and it had better be right. If he stands on these things, he will not be nominated.
To be honest, if Perry doesn't do this, and loses as I suspect he will, I may just zone out. If, again, all we have is a Democrat light, again, I have no reason to vote. I had thought about voting for Paul, regardless, to give Republicans a message. But, no. If forced to, again, I will simply not vote for the office.
I notice that Hatch, here in Utah, has shut down the top Tea Party contender. I think the guy would have won too. Here it might be a serious old boy deal. Politics is often horse-trading here, and not of the better variety. I also notice that Romney is getting a thumbs up from those who have fallen out and is beginning to gain favor among Republican party elite (even more reason not to vote for him, in particular). Having tons of personal money shows up in this manner. He doesn't have to use campaign money to buy the losers. Of course, those who dropped out who support Romney, it is good to see the right ones have been dumped so far.
We will see what we will see, I suppose. While anyone might be better than Obama, I still can't vote for a lousy candidate. Something like what my mother said about not caring what other kids got to do? Yeah, something like that. *smack* Just because the other party was willing to sell it's soul for the ultimate quota, I would not sell my soul just to put another failed candidate into office to replace the quota. I can only vote for a solid candidate.
Good night.
.
Does a Republican take a heavily Democrat district and a mostly Democrat district? Oh, sure, I heard the drum beating as we approached the election. But I feared the pollsters might actually have been trying to make the things look better for Republicans for a change. Then again, not that I expect much from Republicans from such districts. Another Brown-out, another day. What it seems to imply, however, is that Democrats are in such huge trouble they have no chance to hold anything. It isn't even looking like Democrats stayed home. No, they seem to have shown up and voted against 'their own man'. If this all proves out, I will be feeling better.
Of course, now we have to worry about candidates. The one I think is the best is Perry. The problem is he has some serious problems and he doesn't seem to realize when to have a pissing contest and when to apologize. Romney should have helped Perry see this, with Romneycare. Perry has one serious and one more serious problem that he needs to bandage or he'll hemorrhage his support like a balloon hit by a howitzer. The serious one is his executive order attempting to force all girls to receive a nefarious 'dirty girl' shot. Not only ordering it forward but what the shot indicates is part of the issue. He needs to apologize, solidly, and say he learned his lesson. The big problem is immigration. Again, he needs to say what he will do regarding immigration, as president, and it had better be right. If he stands on these things, he will not be nominated.
To be honest, if Perry doesn't do this, and loses as I suspect he will, I may just zone out. If, again, all we have is a Democrat light, again, I have no reason to vote. I had thought about voting for Paul, regardless, to give Republicans a message. But, no. If forced to, again, I will simply not vote for the office.
I notice that Hatch, here in Utah, has shut down the top Tea Party contender. I think the guy would have won too. Here it might be a serious old boy deal. Politics is often horse-trading here, and not of the better variety. I also notice that Romney is getting a thumbs up from those who have fallen out and is beginning to gain favor among Republican party elite (even more reason not to vote for him, in particular). Having tons of personal money shows up in this manner. He doesn't have to use campaign money to buy the losers. Of course, those who dropped out who support Romney, it is good to see the right ones have been dumped so far.
We will see what we will see, I suppose. While anyone might be better than Obama, I still can't vote for a lousy candidate. Something like what my mother said about not caring what other kids got to do? Yeah, something like that. *smack* Just because the other party was willing to sell it's soul for the ultimate quota, I would not sell my soul just to put another failed candidate into office to replace the quota. I can only vote for a solid candidate.
Good night.
Hope and change I can believe in.
.
.
I counted up my coin, then rolled it. I didn't think I would have all that much. I had hoped for, say, $120 but I was prepared for as little as $50. But honestly, it has been such a long time since I have counted up coins, since banks USED to accept the coin as was (though now I am wondering if they ripped me off?). Anyway, first sorting. Then I counted out pennies, nickles, dimes, and finally quarters. I didn't keep track, though the number of rolls of pennies was too many to just glance-count. And it seemed they were in proportion to the other coins. Still, I didn't want to get excited, we all know a quarter is worth just that, a pile of them is worth only a bit more. On it went. Finally, the last rollable amount was put into a carton. I began counting, quarters first, reversing my previous orders. Woah! I just put out $287 in coin, with probably another $10 to $20 in spare change. That does make life just a bit more comfortable.
Odd, that is only four to six months of saving. I used to only seem to ever be able to save $50 to $120. Then again, some people who came in 'borrowed'. Beyond having an unsecure apartment and thieves all around, I had a clepto lady friend. Oh yes, I had no misunderstanding. Anyway. That makes tomorrow a free day and a little bit extra back (after inspection, oil, and registration). Actually, I think that should be around $200 extra. Along with the check I deposited, if not allowing me to live in luxury lane with my mother here, we will a least not starve with that and what else I have available. I still can't believe there was nearly $300 there.
Dishes, laundry, and I'll prepare a meal while I get those going. Later.
.
I counted up my coin, then rolled it. I didn't think I would have all that much. I had hoped for, say, $120 but I was prepared for as little as $50. But honestly, it has been such a long time since I have counted up coins, since banks USED to accept the coin as was (though now I am wondering if they ripped me off?). Anyway, first sorting. Then I counted out pennies, nickles, dimes, and finally quarters. I didn't keep track, though the number of rolls of pennies was too many to just glance-count. And it seemed they were in proportion to the other coins. Still, I didn't want to get excited, we all know a quarter is worth just that, a pile of them is worth only a bit more. On it went. Finally, the last rollable amount was put into a carton. I began counting, quarters first, reversing my previous orders. Woah! I just put out $287 in coin, with probably another $10 to $20 in spare change. That does make life just a bit more comfortable.
Odd, that is only four to six months of saving. I used to only seem to ever be able to save $50 to $120. Then again, some people who came in 'borrowed'. Beyond having an unsecure apartment and thieves all around, I had a clepto lady friend. Oh yes, I had no misunderstanding. Anyway. That makes tomorrow a free day and a little bit extra back (after inspection, oil, and registration). Actually, I think that should be around $200 extra. Along with the check I deposited, if not allowing me to live in luxury lane with my mother here, we will a least not starve with that and what else I have available. I still can't believe there was nearly $300 there.
Dishes, laundry, and I'll prepare a meal while I get those going. Later.
A bit more.
.
.
I almost forgot to make those calls. Time just slips by. I can roll the coins and they will take them, it seems. I have scheduled an inspection and an oil change. Because of time slots available, it won't be done by noon. The oil change was only available after noon. With the inspection done I will have time to take it in and register my auto, then have lunch.
Taking a book along will make the wait at the service department easier. I have started on the pile of books I ordered recently. The first book, though, is not quite what I had hoped. Instead of being a book regarding terms, it seems more of a pro-capitalist book which delineates economic fallacies (such as the "broken window" argument). Yeah, yeah, this is preschool stuff. Then again, I just started. Maybe it will bear fruit later on.
I am not moving fast or well. I am a bit twitchy about my mother showing up to the mess, so I feel really pressed. That isn't helping, though I doubt if it is hurting either. It is just the way of things. I had hoped to make it to Church this week, they have services on five different days. That's all I can say. After doing what is required, and not even much of that, I have little ability to maintain focus, or am out of energy. I will give it two weeks, and if I don't get in I may have to try something else. A new tack, as they say. It isn't about being out and about, it is about hitting the target time and place. Something about accuracy being apart from precision. I can sometimes do one, sometimes the other, rarely both.
Darned fool that I am, I'll keep working on things. Later.
.
I almost forgot to make those calls. Time just slips by. I can roll the coins and they will take them, it seems. I have scheduled an inspection and an oil change. Because of time slots available, it won't be done by noon. The oil change was only available after noon. With the inspection done I will have time to take it in and register my auto, then have lunch.
Taking a book along will make the wait at the service department easier. I have started on the pile of books I ordered recently. The first book, though, is not quite what I had hoped. Instead of being a book regarding terms, it seems more of a pro-capitalist book which delineates economic fallacies (such as the "broken window" argument). Yeah, yeah, this is preschool stuff. Then again, I just started. Maybe it will bear fruit later on.
I am not moving fast or well. I am a bit twitchy about my mother showing up to the mess, so I feel really pressed. That isn't helping, though I doubt if it is hurting either. It is just the way of things. I had hoped to make it to Church this week, they have services on five different days. That's all I can say. After doing what is required, and not even much of that, I have little ability to maintain focus, or am out of energy. I will give it two weeks, and if I don't get in I may have to try something else. A new tack, as they say. It isn't about being out and about, it is about hitting the target time and place. Something about accuracy being apart from precision. I can sometimes do one, sometimes the other, rarely both.
Darned fool that I am, I'll keep working on things. Later.
Just some stuff.
.
.
I had always wondered about this. Though I think how much power the Queen actually has is much underrated by most. I think if she said jump, the P.M. would ask how high.
For caffeine addicts. Here is to a little joy in life!
I always thought I was an extrovert. However, this article has me deeply reconsidering the notion. Can you have very strong aspects of both means of social interaction? Now, it is just an article written by 'someone'. And it seems to be pro-extrovert. But if it holds water then I find myself confused about what I had thought of myself. Of course, and true, how can you really self-diagnose? Then again, that is usually all we have. Doctors have proven to be very wrong, too often, and critically.
No offense to LEOs. And there shouldn't be any taken.
Just some things for the boys and girls of interwebz to chew upon. Later.
.
I had always wondered about this. Though I think how much power the Queen actually has is much underrated by most. I think if she said jump, the P.M. would ask how high.
For caffeine addicts. Here is to a little joy in life!
I always thought I was an extrovert. However, this article has me deeply reconsidering the notion. Can you have very strong aspects of both means of social interaction? Now, it is just an article written by 'someone'. And it seems to be pro-extrovert. But if it holds water then I find myself confused about what I had thought of myself. Of course, and true, how can you really self-diagnose? Then again, that is usually all we have. Doctors have proven to be very wrong, too often, and critically.
No offense to LEOs. And there shouldn't be any taken.
Just some things for the boys and girls of interwebz to chew upon. Later.
I either ask the wrong or the right questions.
.
.
I think it depends on which side of the aisle you are on. No, not whether you like my questions, but how you are offended by them. From professor to fellow citizen to priest, from mother to girlfriend to socialite, from libertarian to liberal to conservative, I seem to be in great disfavor. I don't necessarily mean to cause a ruckus, I think, I just want to know why something is believed, where the truth of it originates, and I notice things most people either don't notice or do not see any point in discussing.
Actually, I think what this tells me is that most people are quite alike. They will let other people slide if other people will let them slide. Keeping it within groups, though. So a conservative wouldn't let a liberal slide unless the liberal had something over on the conservative. Detente seems to be the preferred method of aggression. As much so that people can continue to do whatever the heck they want while still holding their 'enemies' at bay. No one likes the 'nuclear' option. The people with the power of the button instead see it as a means of self-enrichment or allowance. Fat and lazy, spiritually, morally, socially. As a line, with the same implications, in a song I like states it "...and everybody knows".
It wouldn't even be so bad if people kept it to themselves. But they don't. Whether it is in Church or in school, to various degrees, I am sometimes treated poorly. I don't believe, for example, that a priest can be a priest now and an active gay man later. And, yes, it is an issue. I don't believe a priest can be right and suggest that the pill is just fine, and not a sin. I don't believe a professor, who often works quite little and teaches poorly, should have a job guaranteed for life. Nor do I believe they should be able to take credit for the work of their undergraduates or be allowed to fudge their data. And I say it and write it. Among other things. At least with priests, things are changing. So many were taught incorrectly during the 'age of aquarius' that it will take a generation or two to fix things, definitely in the US Church. I don't trust priests my age, give or take a decade to generation. I abide them, as the Church does, but I do not trust.
I would guess I upset both men and women, who in these times believe sexuality is an individual choice and should be a personal thing. Who is having sex with whom is the business of no one but the participants. Psychologists seem to be trying to include children as participants.
Yes, yes, flaws I have, indeed. But I have noted those, easily and fully. The sum total of, and some examples of, my failings can be found here. Somewhere. I don't think there is a single thing I have seen in my life that was wrong that was not written here. But that doesn't change the fact that I can clearly see what is wrong, in my life or another. Nor does it mean, because I have done wrong, that a wink and a nod works. And for this I pay, and will continue to pay. This has effected academic pursuits, social connections, family ties, religious affiliations, and even medical treatment if wisdom is my guide. While it hasn't killed me yet, it would not surprise me to see it happen. While a milder form of it, more indirect, we now live in a form of the U.S.S.R. Mediocrity and sin are licensed by mutual allowances, and those who do not play that game our "out".
To be honest with you, once I realized my fix? I prefer it. Even if it does end up killing me. Maybe more so. No, not a saint. But I am certainly working on it.
As for getting to town today, I am not sure that will happen. I have swept the kitchen, and am tinkering here and there, but I am just not on top of my game. I'm not even really playing the game. Like one of the never used or even possibly needed flippers on a fancy old pinball machine, I just flap once in a while just because, I suppose. Ugh.
Have a great day.
.
I think it depends on which side of the aisle you are on. No, not whether you like my questions, but how you are offended by them. From professor to fellow citizen to priest, from mother to girlfriend to socialite, from libertarian to liberal to conservative, I seem to be in great disfavor. I don't necessarily mean to cause a ruckus, I think, I just want to know why something is believed, where the truth of it originates, and I notice things most people either don't notice or do not see any point in discussing.
Actually, I think what this tells me is that most people are quite alike. They will let other people slide if other people will let them slide. Keeping it within groups, though. So a conservative wouldn't let a liberal slide unless the liberal had something over on the conservative. Detente seems to be the preferred method of aggression. As much so that people can continue to do whatever the heck they want while still holding their 'enemies' at bay. No one likes the 'nuclear' option. The people with the power of the button instead see it as a means of self-enrichment or allowance. Fat and lazy, spiritually, morally, socially. As a line, with the same implications, in a song I like states it "...and everybody knows".
It wouldn't even be so bad if people kept it to themselves. But they don't. Whether it is in Church or in school, to various degrees, I am sometimes treated poorly. I don't believe, for example, that a priest can be a priest now and an active gay man later. And, yes, it is an issue. I don't believe a priest can be right and suggest that the pill is just fine, and not a sin. I don't believe a professor, who often works quite little and teaches poorly, should have a job guaranteed for life. Nor do I believe they should be able to take credit for the work of their undergraduates or be allowed to fudge their data. And I say it and write it. Among other things. At least with priests, things are changing. So many were taught incorrectly during the 'age of aquarius' that it will take a generation or two to fix things, definitely in the US Church. I don't trust priests my age, give or take a decade to generation. I abide them, as the Church does, but I do not trust.
I would guess I upset both men and women, who in these times believe sexuality is an individual choice and should be a personal thing. Who is having sex with whom is the business of no one but the participants. Psychologists seem to be trying to include children as participants.
Yes, yes, flaws I have, indeed. But I have noted those, easily and fully. The sum total of, and some examples of, my failings can be found here. Somewhere. I don't think there is a single thing I have seen in my life that was wrong that was not written here. But that doesn't change the fact that I can clearly see what is wrong, in my life or another. Nor does it mean, because I have done wrong, that a wink and a nod works. And for this I pay, and will continue to pay. This has effected academic pursuits, social connections, family ties, religious affiliations, and even medical treatment if wisdom is my guide. While it hasn't killed me yet, it would not surprise me to see it happen. While a milder form of it, more indirect, we now live in a form of the U.S.S.R. Mediocrity and sin are licensed by mutual allowances, and those who do not play that game our "out".
To be honest with you, once I realized my fix? I prefer it. Even if it does end up killing me. Maybe more so. No, not a saint. But I am certainly working on it.
As for getting to town today, I am not sure that will happen. I have swept the kitchen, and am tinkering here and there, but I am just not on top of my game. I'm not even really playing the game. Like one of the never used or even possibly needed flippers on a fancy old pinball machine, I just flap once in a while just because, I suppose. Ugh.
Have a great day.
Up and thinking about it.
.
.
It always takes me a good long time to reach a critical, or functional, stage after waking in the morning. This has been true my whole life. In school days, and I remember as far back as third grade very specifically, I was never quite awake until 10:00 or later. Some people are morning people, some of us just aren't. I am not sure, any more, what was a health problem and what is just the way I am. I doubt if anyone really knows why any particular person is who or what they are. It gives me caution when judging, so that I do my best not to judge a person, if I also feel an obligation to judge an action and attribute that to a person. That includes myself. My condition, for example, might excuse sloth to a degree. It doesn't forgive surrendering to it. Which also means it is not about failure, that is all but guaranteed. It is about not quitting. Which means my life must, by design, be a hard one. The easy way would be just to simply quit even trying. An outside observer might not even be able to tell the difference. And I have to be vigilant, as much as I can be.
In a bit I will make some calls to see about some things. I have decided to call my bank and ask how I am supposed to bring in coins. I want to talk to someone who will guarantee, that if I bring my coins in, that they will be cashed out. I need that money in my account. I don't want to waste the little time and energy available to me by rolling the coins only to be turned away, again. I want to have someone, who knows, tell me exactly how to do this. They have to take coins, one way or another, I don't think it would be legal to turn away functional modern currency. How much play they have with that is another matter.
I just don't know what I need from the grocery store so I believe I will simply wait until my mother arrives for heavier shopping. I should get diet Coke for her, though. I know she drinks that and will want it. Coffee too, fresh. I have some old stuff but uhm, no. She deserves fresh coffee. Oh, well, there are probably a few other items I could get, just some basics, so there is something standard to eat when she arrives. Well, that and getting those stupid dishes done. To that end, I will soak dishes before I head to town. Dishes and laundry will be my afternoon events. I only have a few days left.
Oh, I am sleeping with the CPAP when I think I will be sleeping for five hours or more. Note to self, absolutely remember to floss and brush your teeth before using this thing. I am not certain that will actually help, morning breath being what it is, but... I really want to try. I crashed last night, forgetting this little task. I am not certain, but I think I sleep longer when using the machine. Then again I might have just been a bit more tired, or got to bed a little later then I thought? Ah, I know it took me a while to get to sleep. No, it often takes me a while to doze off. That isn't it. It just seems that I slept longer, anyway. It is an odd device to sleep with.
Good luck getting your chores done. I hope your work goes smoothly and as well as can be expected or better. If not there is always tomorrow, give or take. Later.
.
It always takes me a good long time to reach a critical, or functional, stage after waking in the morning. This has been true my whole life. In school days, and I remember as far back as third grade very specifically, I was never quite awake until 10:00 or later. Some people are morning people, some of us just aren't. I am not sure, any more, what was a health problem and what is just the way I am. I doubt if anyone really knows why any particular person is who or what they are. It gives me caution when judging, so that I do my best not to judge a person, if I also feel an obligation to judge an action and attribute that to a person. That includes myself. My condition, for example, might excuse sloth to a degree. It doesn't forgive surrendering to it. Which also means it is not about failure, that is all but guaranteed. It is about not quitting. Which means my life must, by design, be a hard one. The easy way would be just to simply quit even trying. An outside observer might not even be able to tell the difference. And I have to be vigilant, as much as I can be.
In a bit I will make some calls to see about some things. I have decided to call my bank and ask how I am supposed to bring in coins. I want to talk to someone who will guarantee, that if I bring my coins in, that they will be cashed out. I need that money in my account. I don't want to waste the little time and energy available to me by rolling the coins only to be turned away, again. I want to have someone, who knows, tell me exactly how to do this. They have to take coins, one way or another, I don't think it would be legal to turn away functional modern currency. How much play they have with that is another matter.
I just don't know what I need from the grocery store so I believe I will simply wait until my mother arrives for heavier shopping. I should get diet Coke for her, though. I know she drinks that and will want it. Coffee too, fresh. I have some old stuff but uhm, no. She deserves fresh coffee. Oh, well, there are probably a few other items I could get, just some basics, so there is something standard to eat when she arrives. Well, that and getting those stupid dishes done. To that end, I will soak dishes before I head to town. Dishes and laundry will be my afternoon events. I only have a few days left.
Oh, I am sleeping with the CPAP when I think I will be sleeping for five hours or more. Note to self, absolutely remember to floss and brush your teeth before using this thing. I am not certain that will actually help, morning breath being what it is, but... I really want to try. I crashed last night, forgetting this little task. I am not certain, but I think I sleep longer when using the machine. Then again I might have just been a bit more tired, or got to bed a little later then I thought? Ah, I know it took me a while to get to sleep. No, it often takes me a while to doze off. That isn't it. It just seems that I slept longer, anyway. It is an odd device to sleep with.
Good luck getting your chores done. I hope your work goes smoothly and as well as can be expected or better. If not there is always tomorrow, give or take. Later.
Monday, September 12, 2011
To town and back.
.
.
Disappointing. I showered and dressed, putting the trash and recycling bins where they belong before anything. I decided to go to the bank first. I was able to deposit a check but they refused the coin, suggesting they could only take it... what... if the coins were rolled? if I had a machine? They said another branch office on the other side of town (technically another town *rolls eyes at the notion of towns being connected in all ways with no separation being considered different towns*). I went there, they said their machine would only accept coins that had been separated by denomination. Huh? I have taken coins in, at least twice, in amounts between $120 and at least $200. Have they sold their machine? Have they decided that taking coin is too risky, are people bringing in metal plugs that somehow pass?
All I know is that, technically speaking, if what they suggested is true, I really don't have a simple way of turning in coin. This is not rocket science, and it means my bank isn't full service. With all the problems I have been having with the bank, I am going to have to consider changing banks. Care must be taken, however. Some, perhaps many, banks are on the verge of collapse. From what I am sensing with my current bank, I am guessing they are among those. Then again perhaps all banks are in various levels of decay and are cutting back services and such. We are in trouble and it is coming fast. When it happens it will be overnight then nothing. That is my sense.
In any case, I went on to register my vehicle. I had it inspected last year. And with the newness of my vehicle I didn't think I would have to this year again. Wrong. Automobiles over five years old, I believe, have to be checked every year. Newer vehicles, like mine, only have to be checked every other year. However, that is based on the year the vehicle was manufactured. Those manufactured in odd years (mine) have to be inspected on odd actual years. A 2011 will have to be inspected in 2011, 2013, 2015, then every year after, I believe. It was too late to see about an inspection. The only thing positive was that when I checked to ensure my home property taxes were being paid, I was told they are up to date. Thankfully I won't need to harp on that to some agency and have one more subject to deal with. I also asked how long someone would have to be in arrears before action was taken. There is a five year window and they would send out multiple strong warnings. Okay. Now, I am slow, can be unlucky with mail, but I think five years is enough of a window even for me.
Having gotten little for the effort, I simply used the drive-through window at Burger King on my way home. I didn't feel like one more failure at some restaurant and I couldn't remember what I needed from the grocery store. The barbecue joint seems to be down. The sign is gone. But I did notice the door open and cleaning gear near the door, a mop in a large trash can on wheels. Being that it was flooded, I am sure any clean-up will be messy. But seeing the sign gone suggests, if it opens and this isn't just a contracted cleaning crew for the bank or mortgage holder, that new ownership is in the offing. I hope someone does try again. Lose the jazz, pick up the barbecue, and life would be good. I absolutely despise jazz/blues as only a step below rap. Yes, I realize, many of you love/play it. It had to come out though. Now you know.
I didn't get too hot! I was surprised. It seems to be just as warm as yesterday. And I did as much or more running around. And all that on top of having overheated yesterday and gotten to bed so very late for it, then awoken far too early. I even had to bring all the guns and ammo back into the house before going to town as I ran out of the energy yesterday to do that and I don't like having that many firearms in the vehicle without someone right there. For whatever reason I am doing good, just becoming mildly tired and readying for bed shortly, as I would want and expect. Fully dressed still, too. Usually I have to strip down when I return home, just to get air, to cool. I don't know that I will get to anything else today. But if I get to sleep early and well tonight, perhaps I can figure out where to get an inspection, check on an oil change, and get in for the registration, perhaps all before lunch tomorrow. Then spend some time on the house in the afternoon, if I can.
Ugh! But the Lord knows, I am putting every micro-ounce I have available into trying to get things right. He sent people over to do my yard. He is sending my mom to do my house. But He has to know I would rather do it myself. He loves me, I suppose God just thinks that maybe without being triple sand-bagged, I might become even more of a braggart. Then again, some of my stories, while they seem a brag, are just the way of it. They are parts of my life, things that happened, and offer various forms of shame, sadness, joy, and the rest of life's offerings. From surviving a heavy dose of Draino, surviving flood waters on an already savage waterway without a boat, to having quite a number of relationships with women. I don't always see it as bragging. I don't even mostly see it as bragging. Some of it seems so empty and dry to me, the empty relationships for example. Though when someone perks up about it, I can... be a dog about it. Oh well.
Good night.
.
Disappointing. I showered and dressed, putting the trash and recycling bins where they belong before anything. I decided to go to the bank first. I was able to deposit a check but they refused the coin, suggesting they could only take it... what... if the coins were rolled? if I had a machine? They said another branch office on the other side of town (technically another town *rolls eyes at the notion of towns being connected in all ways with no separation being considered different towns*). I went there, they said their machine would only accept coins that had been separated by denomination. Huh? I have taken coins in, at least twice, in amounts between $120 and at least $200. Have they sold their machine? Have they decided that taking coin is too risky, are people bringing in metal plugs that somehow pass?
All I know is that, technically speaking, if what they suggested is true, I really don't have a simple way of turning in coin. This is not rocket science, and it means my bank isn't full service. With all the problems I have been having with the bank, I am going to have to consider changing banks. Care must be taken, however. Some, perhaps many, banks are on the verge of collapse. From what I am sensing with my current bank, I am guessing they are among those. Then again perhaps all banks are in various levels of decay and are cutting back services and such. We are in trouble and it is coming fast. When it happens it will be overnight then nothing. That is my sense.
In any case, I went on to register my vehicle. I had it inspected last year. And with the newness of my vehicle I didn't think I would have to this year again. Wrong. Automobiles over five years old, I believe, have to be checked every year. Newer vehicles, like mine, only have to be checked every other year. However, that is based on the year the vehicle was manufactured. Those manufactured in odd years (mine) have to be inspected on odd actual years. A 2011 will have to be inspected in 2011, 2013, 2015, then every year after, I believe. It was too late to see about an inspection. The only thing positive was that when I checked to ensure my home property taxes were being paid, I was told they are up to date. Thankfully I won't need to harp on that to some agency and have one more subject to deal with. I also asked how long someone would have to be in arrears before action was taken. There is a five year window and they would send out multiple strong warnings. Okay. Now, I am slow, can be unlucky with mail, but I think five years is enough of a window even for me.
Having gotten little for the effort, I simply used the drive-through window at Burger King on my way home. I didn't feel like one more failure at some restaurant and I couldn't remember what I needed from the grocery store. The barbecue joint seems to be down. The sign is gone. But I did notice the door open and cleaning gear near the door, a mop in a large trash can on wheels. Being that it was flooded, I am sure any clean-up will be messy. But seeing the sign gone suggests, if it opens and this isn't just a contracted cleaning crew for the bank or mortgage holder, that new ownership is in the offing. I hope someone does try again. Lose the jazz, pick up the barbecue, and life would be good. I absolutely despise jazz/blues as only a step below rap. Yes, I realize, many of you love/play it. It had to come out though. Now you know.
I didn't get too hot! I was surprised. It seems to be just as warm as yesterday. And I did as much or more running around. And all that on top of having overheated yesterday and gotten to bed so very late for it, then awoken far too early. I even had to bring all the guns and ammo back into the house before going to town as I ran out of the energy yesterday to do that and I don't like having that many firearms in the vehicle without someone right there. For whatever reason I am doing good, just becoming mildly tired and readying for bed shortly, as I would want and expect. Fully dressed still, too. Usually I have to strip down when I return home, just to get air, to cool. I don't know that I will get to anything else today. But if I get to sleep early and well tonight, perhaps I can figure out where to get an inspection, check on an oil change, and get in for the registration, perhaps all before lunch tomorrow. Then spend some time on the house in the afternoon, if I can.
Ugh! But the Lord knows, I am putting every micro-ounce I have available into trying to get things right. He sent people over to do my yard. He is sending my mom to do my house. But He has to know I would rather do it myself. He loves me, I suppose God just thinks that maybe without being triple sand-bagged, I might become even more of a braggart. Then again, some of my stories, while they seem a brag, are just the way of it. They are parts of my life, things that happened, and offer various forms of shame, sadness, joy, and the rest of life's offerings. From surviving a heavy dose of Draino, surviving flood waters on an already savage waterway without a boat, to having quite a number of relationships with women. I don't always see it as bragging. I don't even mostly see it as bragging. Some of it seems so empty and dry to me, the empty relationships for example. Though when someone perks up about it, I can... be a dog about it. Oh well.
Good night.
Woot!
.
.
There went the trash! I was right, it didn't look, from here, as if they had emptied it. How did I know? Just cause. The truck just did the trick. Now I am all fuzzy and happy. But it seems so hot. Ah well, I might just have to go in anyway. One more thing off my mind. Plus, I can pull the bins back in before I go and have even one more thing off my mind. The less I have on my mind the more I have a chance to do and the more room for planning in my mind. One too many things and I crash like kid who ran out of sugar. It isn't just physical stamina that I lack.
Later.
.
There went the trash! I was right, it didn't look, from here, as if they had emptied it. How did I know? Just cause. The truck just did the trick. Now I am all fuzzy and happy. But it seems so hot. Ah well, I might just have to go in anyway. One more thing off my mind. Plus, I can pull the bins back in before I go and have even one more thing off my mind. The less I have on my mind the more I have a chance to do and the more room for planning in my mind. One too many things and I crash like kid who ran out of sugar. It isn't just physical stamina that I lack.
Later.
We will see.
.
.
It looks like I plum ran out of steam. I did those things this morning, and was sitting down to figure out a grocery list when I found myself waking up from a nap. Not too bad a deal though. I am not sure when I ended up back in bed, but it was probably after 10:00, and I woke sometime very shortly after noon. I didn't see it coming. But there it is. Hmm, it almost doesn't look like they picked up my trash. I hope so, but... Perhaps they haven't come by yet. Oh gee, what a mess if they failed for some reason though.
I am considering whether I should go to town or not. There are many things I need to do and some things I want to do. But I know, even on this, a cooler day, it will be a monstrous effort. Should I burn up getting to it and probably killing all other efforts for the day and for possibly even tomorrow? After the events yesterday I realize I am still not back on my feet. Everything I do costs in time needed for recovery. If most things you do is akin to doing your maximum physical effort, then continuing that for double what you have ever done it, being active begins to look a little dicey. And you know, once you start, you can't really stop. The things I need to do I will not have the energy to do again soon. So a half effort would mean some things wouldn't be done for probably another week with what else I have scheduled this week. Damn but I hate this illness. I was right, finally knowing what it really is isn't helping.
Perhaps if I go through another round of waking up I might be able to dig in and get going. Some food would be good but the prep would slow me down, as would actually eating due to the digestive processes. Being a little hungry is an incentive, if I put food without dishes on the itinerary. Especially something I find particularly tasty. A real hamburger at Ruby Tuesdays, if they are still open. Lately I haven't seen much in the way of vehicles parked in their lot. Perhaps that is just the times I have been there. Then again, they were one of the places that, after I had a beer there, I was followed by a cop, twice. Such behavior will kill visitors who like to have a beer. And since it is one of the very few restaurants in the area with a bar, it will kill business fast. Sizzlers, one of the times I ate there, was the other place. These are hard times for a restaurant to be messing with paying customers. Why do I think it was due to being at those places? Because other than those three times, I have never had a police car behind me. They make themselves scarce in town. They make it a point not to hassle or even seem to hassle people. Three for three and never before or since leaves me no options but to believe I was being road tested because a call from an eatery was placed.
So, maybe not Ruby Tuesdays. I don't plan on having a beer, it is just the idea. Hmm. I should be able to think of some restaurant, other than fast food, that would entice me to town. Well, there is Jimmy John's. While not quite a restaurant I would guess it is better than McDonalds? Only if I don't take soda. I don't think they have unsweetened tea though? McDonalds does, and I have no problem with the rest of their foods (though I don't like their burgers, I do love their fries). Other than sugar, the rest of it is merely calories. Now, for me, either those calories are tasty or they aren't. Then, they are either affordable at a particular time or they aren't. Hmm, maybe I could check on the barbecue joint. If being flooded out hasn't bankrupted them or allowed them an out they wanted from a tough business climate, they might be open again.
I swear, by the time a new owner of a true pit barbecue place gets the recipes down, realizes that they can't slice meats super thin, and then begins to roll, they are out of business. If it has failed, this will be the second or third owner in less than two years since it opened. I really need to figure out how to make my own slow roasting pit. Money money money, all ideas and no green. The story of my life.
Bah, in a bit I may get it rolling. Going on 14:00 so if I want to go I best go very shortly. Later.
.
It looks like I plum ran out of steam. I did those things this morning, and was sitting down to figure out a grocery list when I found myself waking up from a nap. Not too bad a deal though. I am not sure when I ended up back in bed, but it was probably after 10:00, and I woke sometime very shortly after noon. I didn't see it coming. But there it is. Hmm, it almost doesn't look like they picked up my trash. I hope so, but... Perhaps they haven't come by yet. Oh gee, what a mess if they failed for some reason though.
I am considering whether I should go to town or not. There are many things I need to do and some things I want to do. But I know, even on this, a cooler day, it will be a monstrous effort. Should I burn up getting to it and probably killing all other efforts for the day and for possibly even tomorrow? After the events yesterday I realize I am still not back on my feet. Everything I do costs in time needed for recovery. If most things you do is akin to doing your maximum physical effort, then continuing that for double what you have ever done it, being active begins to look a little dicey. And you know, once you start, you can't really stop. The things I need to do I will not have the energy to do again soon. So a half effort would mean some things wouldn't be done for probably another week with what else I have scheduled this week. Damn but I hate this illness. I was right, finally knowing what it really is isn't helping.
Perhaps if I go through another round of waking up I might be able to dig in and get going. Some food would be good but the prep would slow me down, as would actually eating due to the digestive processes. Being a little hungry is an incentive, if I put food without dishes on the itinerary. Especially something I find particularly tasty. A real hamburger at Ruby Tuesdays, if they are still open. Lately I haven't seen much in the way of vehicles parked in their lot. Perhaps that is just the times I have been there. Then again, they were one of the places that, after I had a beer there, I was followed by a cop, twice. Such behavior will kill visitors who like to have a beer. And since it is one of the very few restaurants in the area with a bar, it will kill business fast. Sizzlers, one of the times I ate there, was the other place. These are hard times for a restaurant to be messing with paying customers. Why do I think it was due to being at those places? Because other than those three times, I have never had a police car behind me. They make themselves scarce in town. They make it a point not to hassle or even seem to hassle people. Three for three and never before or since leaves me no options but to believe I was being road tested because a call from an eatery was placed.
So, maybe not Ruby Tuesdays. I don't plan on having a beer, it is just the idea. Hmm. I should be able to think of some restaurant, other than fast food, that would entice me to town. Well, there is Jimmy John's. While not quite a restaurant I would guess it is better than McDonalds? Only if I don't take soda. I don't think they have unsweetened tea though? McDonalds does, and I have no problem with the rest of their foods (though I don't like their burgers, I do love their fries). Other than sugar, the rest of it is merely calories. Now, for me, either those calories are tasty or they aren't. Then, they are either affordable at a particular time or they aren't. Hmm, maybe I could check on the barbecue joint. If being flooded out hasn't bankrupted them or allowed them an out they wanted from a tough business climate, they might be open again.
I swear, by the time a new owner of a true pit barbecue place gets the recipes down, realizes that they can't slice meats super thin, and then begins to roll, they are out of business. If it has failed, this will be the second or third owner in less than two years since it opened. I really need to figure out how to make my own slow roasting pit. Money money money, all ideas and no green. The story of my life.
Bah, in a bit I may get it rolling. Going on 14:00 so if I want to go I best go very shortly. Later.
Some hope.
.
.
I didn't end up in bed until rather late, sometime shortly after midnight. I couldn't cool down. I didn't get a thing I proposed completed either. Cooling down was all I could get done, and that was late as was. I hate going to bed with the notion that I have things to do with no means of accomplishing them. Sometimes, with appointments, I don't even have enough working to think to call and let them know I won't be there. There simply isn't anything I can do when I get to a certain point, save crawl into bed. Often, I don't even remember having done so. I just wake feeling guilty, as soon as I realize I missed something. Ah, such a life of guilt. Others see it as mere leisure, or doing what I want when I want.
Sassy, for whatever reason, was an absolute basket case this morning. She didn't scratch me, she has learned. I don't remember dealing with her always, though cutting popo when he is trying to sleep is probably as successful a ploy as kicking a sleeping bear. Maybe less so, as a cat can probably outpace a bear and I am not sure a waking bear is all that tactical. Even in my sleep my target acquisition is incredible, even though I have no conscious control, or even awareness. I can grab a scampering cat as easily as I can brush a whiskered face out of my face. I don't know about aiming, but my guess would be walls are not difficult to hit. *thwack* Still, she was making an awful lot of noise and being a pest. It woke me, hard, at about 5:30. When she is awful, I never feed her (which is what she wants). I just, very much against her will, put her outside. I left her there for a couple of hours.
Still, good or bad, she did wake me in time to change the cat litter, get the trash out, and perhaps I even got the recycling out in time. The recycle truck comes rather early from what I have heard, but I'm not quite yet sure what time "early" is around here. Everything was out by 7:00 to 7:30 though. I have my curtains open to perhaps see if I was in time before having to simply check later. Well, it is something to do while I wake up. I'm still a bit peeved about being awaken so rudely so early. She is, trust me on this, not starving. Ah well, perhaps it is for the better. I needed to get the trash and recycling out and I like being up earlier, and this might keep me on my schedule. Schedules are pretty bone dry, you know it?
With the litter changed, I can begin working on any possible cat smells. It was not changed last week as I simply didn't have what it took. With three boxes, there is no odor problem for a week, often even two weeks (Sam mostly prefers the wide open outdoor 'cat litter pan'. But Sassy has been extra... smelly? Yes, that would be it. Perhaps she is finally catching a mouse from time to time now? So I will be using that perfumed wax smelting device my mother sent for Christmas. It actually works rather well. I usually only need it in my room once in a while.
But more, being up early, I am hoping to possibly begin laundry, I stopped about half way through that last batch. And perhaps do the dishes. I really want those things done before my mother arrives. Everything else will just have to be as it is. Well, I did get more of the boxes out to recycling and cleared the kitchen of them. I may use the pretty much unused kitchen table, off in a nook, as a temporary kitchen work station. Not only does it work for that, I could be seated when working. And more, it would be more likely to be used as a place to eat, being easier to reach. Small cramped nooks are negative places for me to be unless I am there with a small pretty woman. And then only until the charm of it dissipates.
The little niche in which the table now sits might, come to think of it, make a wonderful place for a wood burning cook stove, sort of off to itself. It would be much easier to firebrick the small floor in there, adding fire-resistant/proof drywall or such, and installing a chimney there would be easier. The only thing that might be more complicated would be installing a hot water assistance tank, or more running the plumbing for that to a primary new tank while turning the old tank into a reserve tank. Oh, sure, big plans for a little big man. But this is how things start. The more automated and simple, in a way, I make my surroundings, the easier life will be. I have to make plans or nothing will go forward.
I need to get into town. I finally received a notification about my automobile registration. It says I can do this online. But then wait for the stickers and hope I am not pulled over, in spite of an officer knowing I am registered but within his legal rights? No thank you. I need to get that done, do a bit of shopping, and add some money to my account. For being a good boy I will treat myself to a meal. Nothing fancy, but perhaps avoiding fast food too. I am trying to kick soda/pop/coke to the curb. My A1C (long-term blood sugar level) was slowly rising. And I could tell from my urine that the thing was about to become an issue again. Soda is so damn easy though. Coffee in a can, cold, dark, and sweet like I like it.
Back on medicine, I am thinking that even if I did not have swelling (edema) of the legs, I must have been holding on to water (and food) like a sponge. Since starting all of me riddance behaviors have increased ten fold. I don't know for sure, but I would guess I have shed five to ten pounds since starting back up. Yes, a day or two can do that. That reminded me to do my stats. Actually, I am 13 pounds lighter, and it has been three days of regular medicine. I wish I could keep THAT up, at least until I get to the 220-240 range. Oh, and I am going to start taking my stats before medicine, as usual, and then one half to one hour after medicine. Just... curious.
Let me see, I also need to review my pantry and buy a few things from the store. I'm not awake enough to begin that list.
Have a great day.
Hah! I made it. The recycling truck just took a load off. I was hoping to have everything empty (ready) for my mother when she arrives. I ought to clean those containers out, but uhm, well, yeah. That will... go on the list, toward the end. No, I don't mind doing it. Yes, I realize I will be doing good to be at the airport on time. Anything else will just be, well, a bit of luck and some serious effort. Just... being honest I guess. But... YEAH!!! One small favor, pardon, success to start my day. Thanks Sassy... brat! Ah well, I'll give her treats for saving my bacon, if I almost hate to surrender to the notion.
.
I didn't end up in bed until rather late, sometime shortly after midnight. I couldn't cool down. I didn't get a thing I proposed completed either. Cooling down was all I could get done, and that was late as was. I hate going to bed with the notion that I have things to do with no means of accomplishing them. Sometimes, with appointments, I don't even have enough working to think to call and let them know I won't be there. There simply isn't anything I can do when I get to a certain point, save crawl into bed. Often, I don't even remember having done so. I just wake feeling guilty, as soon as I realize I missed something. Ah, such a life of guilt. Others see it as mere leisure, or doing what I want when I want.
Sassy, for whatever reason, was an absolute basket case this morning. She didn't scratch me, she has learned. I don't remember dealing with her always, though cutting popo when he is trying to sleep is probably as successful a ploy as kicking a sleeping bear. Maybe less so, as a cat can probably outpace a bear and I am not sure a waking bear is all that tactical. Even in my sleep my target acquisition is incredible, even though I have no conscious control, or even awareness. I can grab a scampering cat as easily as I can brush a whiskered face out of my face. I don't know about aiming, but my guess would be walls are not difficult to hit. *thwack* Still, she was making an awful lot of noise and being a pest. It woke me, hard, at about 5:30. When she is awful, I never feed her (which is what she wants). I just, very much against her will, put her outside. I left her there for a couple of hours.
Still, good or bad, she did wake me in time to change the cat litter, get the trash out, and perhaps I even got the recycling out in time. The recycle truck comes rather early from what I have heard, but I'm not quite yet sure what time "early" is around here. Everything was out by 7:00 to 7:30 though. I have my curtains open to perhaps see if I was in time before having to simply check later. Well, it is something to do while I wake up. I'm still a bit peeved about being awaken so rudely so early. She is, trust me on this, not starving. Ah well, perhaps it is for the better. I needed to get the trash and recycling out and I like being up earlier, and this might keep me on my schedule. Schedules are pretty bone dry, you know it?
With the litter changed, I can begin working on any possible cat smells. It was not changed last week as I simply didn't have what it took. With three boxes, there is no odor problem for a week, often even two weeks (Sam mostly prefers the wide open outdoor 'cat litter pan'. But Sassy has been extra... smelly? Yes, that would be it. Perhaps she is finally catching a mouse from time to time now? So I will be using that perfumed wax smelting device my mother sent for Christmas. It actually works rather well. I usually only need it in my room once in a while.
But more, being up early, I am hoping to possibly begin laundry, I stopped about half way through that last batch. And perhaps do the dishes. I really want those things done before my mother arrives. Everything else will just have to be as it is. Well, I did get more of the boxes out to recycling and cleared the kitchen of them. I may use the pretty much unused kitchen table, off in a nook, as a temporary kitchen work station. Not only does it work for that, I could be seated when working. And more, it would be more likely to be used as a place to eat, being easier to reach. Small cramped nooks are negative places for me to be unless I am there with a small pretty woman. And then only until the charm of it dissipates.
The little niche in which the table now sits might, come to think of it, make a wonderful place for a wood burning cook stove, sort of off to itself. It would be much easier to firebrick the small floor in there, adding fire-resistant/proof drywall or such, and installing a chimney there would be easier. The only thing that might be more complicated would be installing a hot water assistance tank, or more running the plumbing for that to a primary new tank while turning the old tank into a reserve tank. Oh, sure, big plans for a little big man. But this is how things start. The more automated and simple, in a way, I make my surroundings, the easier life will be. I have to make plans or nothing will go forward.
I need to get into town. I finally received a notification about my automobile registration. It says I can do this online. But then wait for the stickers and hope I am not pulled over, in spite of an officer knowing I am registered but within his legal rights? No thank you. I need to get that done, do a bit of shopping, and add some money to my account. For being a good boy I will treat myself to a meal. Nothing fancy, but perhaps avoiding fast food too. I am trying to kick soda/pop/coke to the curb. My A1C (long-term blood sugar level) was slowly rising. And I could tell from my urine that the thing was about to become an issue again. Soda is so damn easy though. Coffee in a can, cold, dark, and sweet like I like it.
Back on medicine, I am thinking that even if I did not have swelling (edema) of the legs, I must have been holding on to water (and food) like a sponge. Since starting all of me riddance behaviors have increased ten fold. I don't know for sure, but I would guess I have shed five to ten pounds since starting back up. Yes, a day or two can do that. That reminded me to do my stats. Actually, I am 13 pounds lighter, and it has been three days of regular medicine. I wish I could keep THAT up, at least until I get to the 220-240 range. Oh, and I am going to start taking my stats before medicine, as usual, and then one half to one hour after medicine. Just... curious.
Let me see, I also need to review my pantry and buy a few things from the store. I'm not awake enough to begin that list.
Have a great day.
Hah! I made it. The recycling truck just took a load off. I was hoping to have everything empty (ready) for my mother when she arrives. I ought to clean those containers out, but uhm, well, yeah. That will... go on the list, toward the end. No, I don't mind doing it. Yes, I realize I will be doing good to be at the airport on time. Anything else will just be, well, a bit of luck and some serious effort. Just... being honest I guess. But... YEAH!!! One small favor, pardon, success to start my day. Thanks Sassy... brat! Ah well, I'll give her treats for saving my bacon, if I almost hate to surrender to the notion.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
9/11ism
.
.
I see there are a few others out there who don't think 9/11 should become an ad lib holiday. While I disagree with most of the reasoning, which ends up somewhere between the notion that our national reaction was wrong to the notion that we as a nation are wrong sum total and no matter what we do, it is wrong. I don't agree with any of that. No, it is just that remembering this day as a nearly religiously patriotic reflex does little to help with the continuation of the fight that must be fought and won and only serves to offer fodder for those who relish what was done on that day. It is, in my opinion, a sign of weakness.
While it might serve as a reminder. To those who are fighting the fight and those of us who support them, no reminder is needed. Further, to see un-Americans, like Mayor Bloomberg and others of his ilk despoil the day for leftism, anti-Christian, Antisemitic, and anti-American bigotry, and hubris is anathema to any purpose of remembrance. The day, for what it was ever worth, has been ruined by so many such people who still have their hands on the levers of power. Obama chief among them.
No, not that I will forget. I just think memorials and celebrations are a sign of weakness, a chance for the evil ones in our midst to put their noses where they obviously don't belong, and for our enemies to cherish the memories like pedophiles gaining access to the pictures they took while committing their crimes, like tokens. More so with the blessings of Bloomberg and Obama.
All I want to know is that the war continues. I don't need to see pictures of it. I don't need to hear stories about it. I can more than just imagine what is being done. That I know that continues in earnest is good enough. While Captain Zero stands with a smug, upraised, elitist mug, seemingly happy with the event he was there to mourn*, a real president flawed as he might have been, at least humbly bows. On top of that, Captain Zero threatens to cut forces where they are still needed to unsustainable levels for the forces that remain. Either pull them all or leave a sustainable force!
So, forget the parades, memorials, gatherings, how about continuing the war until it is won? How about making sure the men are where they need to be and seeing to it that they are fed, armed, and covered from the backfield and air, and in enough strength of numbers to survive? How about tracking down every single last standing jihadi, putting to sword every man and woman who would provide aid or comfort to these barbarians and run them through, and take down every government that would honestly pitch a dollar or donut for terrorists? That is enough. I will remember the day privately, thank you.
*I won't allow his face to besmirch my blog. Go to the link to see the umbrage of the bastard.
.
I see there are a few others out there who don't think 9/11 should become an ad lib holiday. While I disagree with most of the reasoning, which ends up somewhere between the notion that our national reaction was wrong to the notion that we as a nation are wrong sum total and no matter what we do, it is wrong. I don't agree with any of that. No, it is just that remembering this day as a nearly religiously patriotic reflex does little to help with the continuation of the fight that must be fought and won and only serves to offer fodder for those who relish what was done on that day. It is, in my opinion, a sign of weakness.
While it might serve as a reminder. To those who are fighting the fight and those of us who support them, no reminder is needed. Further, to see un-Americans, like Mayor Bloomberg and others of his ilk despoil the day for leftism, anti-Christian, Antisemitic, and anti-American bigotry, and hubris is anathema to any purpose of remembrance. The day, for what it was ever worth, has been ruined by so many such people who still have their hands on the levers of power. Obama chief among them.
No, not that I will forget. I just think memorials and celebrations are a sign of weakness, a chance for the evil ones in our midst to put their noses where they obviously don't belong, and for our enemies to cherish the memories like pedophiles gaining access to the pictures they took while committing their crimes, like tokens. More so with the blessings of Bloomberg and Obama.
All I want to know is that the war continues. I don't need to see pictures of it. I don't need to hear stories about it. I can more than just imagine what is being done. That I know that continues in earnest is good enough. While Captain Zero stands with a smug, upraised, elitist mug, seemingly happy with the event he was there to mourn*, a real president flawed as he might have been, at least humbly bows. On top of that, Captain Zero threatens to cut forces where they are still needed to unsustainable levels for the forces that remain. Either pull them all or leave a sustainable force!
So, forget the parades, memorials, gatherings, how about continuing the war until it is won? How about making sure the men are where they need to be and seeing to it that they are fed, armed, and covered from the backfield and air, and in enough strength of numbers to survive? How about tracking down every single last standing jihadi, putting to sword every man and woman who would provide aid or comfort to these barbarians and run them through, and take down every government that would honestly pitch a dollar or donut for terrorists? That is enough. I will remember the day privately, thank you.
*I won't allow his face to besmirch my blog. Go to the link to see the umbrage of the bastard.
Some of it.
.
.
Running too slow, and not able to find my shoe shine kit, and between looking for something I couldn't find and running slow I didn't manage the trash and recycling. I did make it to go shooting, a bit late as usual. But not so late as to surprise, worry, or upset my friend. As I said, even things I want to do are done on the margins. Does it bug me? Do flies bug you? Mosquitoes? Anvils falling on your head? Finally, yeah, okay, so you know how I feel about it. Then again, this world isn't about feelings. Feelings, while not quite a flaw, often have to be set aside by adults to get to what they can. And, that is what I did.
A fine day of shooting. I am woefully out of practice, however. Then again, I am still lagging. Holding a pistol or rifle for an half hour, after having loaded the vehicle with his and my guns, ammo, and whatever else, then loading his wheel chair, then all the driving... It puts a dent in my zing by the time we get there to shoot. Especially since I am always rushing just to be late. Heh. No, as troubling as it all is, as a sarcastic hard ass, it also brings me a small tear from laughter. Look at the gimp! Look at the gimp run! Only about myself, but yeah, there is that. No, I mean it, I don't laugh at other gimps. But if I know them, like my friend, I will give them some jazz if I see them too long in the tooth about it. My friend doesn't seem to have that problem, though we still razz each other anyway. Next time, I might ask if he wants to race. The heartsick versus the footless. Should be interesting. No worry, we will only speculate. *grins*
Once I cool down I am going to try and get the trash and recycling set up, change the cat litter boxes, find that damned shoe shining kit and use it, and try to do it all slowly enough that I don't heat back up again. I have been red-lining my tach for the last two to three hours. Which is fine save that I need to cool down a great deal in order to sleep and the fact that I still have things to do. I did purchase more kitty litter and a couple of gallons of milk, oh, and tobacco. I am not sure if I had other things on my list, I just couldn't think by that time.
Fried I am, so I told Sam, no problem she hissed, just as long as you aren't _________, now feed me, ogre!
Bleh.
Later.
.
Running too slow, and not able to find my shoe shine kit, and between looking for something I couldn't find and running slow I didn't manage the trash and recycling. I did make it to go shooting, a bit late as usual. But not so late as to surprise, worry, or upset my friend. As I said, even things I want to do are done on the margins. Does it bug me? Do flies bug you? Mosquitoes? Anvils falling on your head? Finally, yeah, okay, so you know how I feel about it. Then again, this world isn't about feelings. Feelings, while not quite a flaw, often have to be set aside by adults to get to what they can. And, that is what I did.
A fine day of shooting. I am woefully out of practice, however. Then again, I am still lagging. Holding a pistol or rifle for an half hour, after having loaded the vehicle with his and my guns, ammo, and whatever else, then loading his wheel chair, then all the driving... It puts a dent in my zing by the time we get there to shoot. Especially since I am always rushing just to be late. Heh. No, as troubling as it all is, as a sarcastic hard ass, it also brings me a small tear from laughter. Look at the gimp! Look at the gimp run! Only about myself, but yeah, there is that. No, I mean it, I don't laugh at other gimps. But if I know them, like my friend, I will give them some jazz if I see them too long in the tooth about it. My friend doesn't seem to have that problem, though we still razz each other anyway. Next time, I might ask if he wants to race. The heartsick versus the footless. Should be interesting. No worry, we will only speculate. *grins*
Once I cool down I am going to try and get the trash and recycling set up, change the cat litter boxes, find that damned shoe shining kit and use it, and try to do it all slowly enough that I don't heat back up again. I have been red-lining my tach for the last two to three hours. Which is fine save that I need to cool down a great deal in order to sleep and the fact that I still have things to do. I did purchase more kitty litter and a couple of gallons of milk, oh, and tobacco. I am not sure if I had other things on my list, I just couldn't think by that time.
Fried I am, so I told Sam, no problem she hissed, just as long as you aren't _________, now feed me, ogre!
Bleh.
Later.
Oh, sure, I get it.
.
.
Usually too late, but I do get it. As for Church, none of my good clothes were prepared. Yes, I am sure I would be given a pass, by those who know. Not by those, the majority, who do not know. Trying to get everything together that most people can and do is not something that is anything more than an extreme effort for me. I will be taking my slacks in to the dry cleaner Monday, when I go in for an oil change, to deposit a check, and to take my coins in. I may polish my shoes this morning yet.
Today I would like to get the trash and recycling tended. I need to get kitty litter while in town, and do a bit of shopping. My friend is no longer on the patch so I can buy cigarettes for him. I think I will buy cigarettes and a soda for him, a bottle of Gatorade for me, so that when I pick him up we can just go shooting and then eat dinner without feeling the need to rush. I will be going in Wednesday to take him shopping and for a meal again. While my mother is here I will probably continue my visits. Though at least once, maybe twice, while my mother is here dinner will be on the house. I will let her decide when, of course, though she thought of it just as I did. I wouldn't impose this on her. My friend is all in for mashed potatoes and gravy, even my mom knows that. You could probably offer shoe leather, medium rare, plus mashed potatoes and gravy and my fried would be happy as could be. *chuckles*
So, trash, recycling, polishing shoes, and getting all the guns ready and loaded into the X for travel. I am feeling a bit better for whatever reason. Yesterday was hot, in the afternoon. And I do think heat played a large role, probably half or more, in my difficulties. Being, mostly, cooler now, life is getting better. I may even plan some hikes while my mother is here. Leaving her on her own is sometimes good for both of us. Helping is fine, but I can't do much and just trip up her plans, frustrating both of us sometimes. Then again, I have invited her to go along to shoot. I have three .22's, a pistol and two rifles, that would be right up her alley. I even have some .22 short ammunition that one of the rifles likes to delicately fire off. If she makes a picnic, mostly, and I make potato salad or something, we could have a non-all-man shooting day! Well, it's nice once in a while, even to a pair of ogres like my friend and myself.
I have been getting to bed well before 20:00, often more like 17:00 and waking in the early morning. I did that last night and woke around 2:00. It works well so that by the time the day rolls around, as I start trying to get my feet under me, I am ready to roll by 7:00 or 8:00. If I can just freeze my schedule in like this, life could become successful again.
Good day.
.
Usually too late, but I do get it. As for Church, none of my good clothes were prepared. Yes, I am sure I would be given a pass, by those who know. Not by those, the majority, who do not know. Trying to get everything together that most people can and do is not something that is anything more than an extreme effort for me. I will be taking my slacks in to the dry cleaner Monday, when I go in for an oil change, to deposit a check, and to take my coins in. I may polish my shoes this morning yet.
Today I would like to get the trash and recycling tended. I need to get kitty litter while in town, and do a bit of shopping. My friend is no longer on the patch so I can buy cigarettes for him. I think I will buy cigarettes and a soda for him, a bottle of Gatorade for me, so that when I pick him up we can just go shooting and then eat dinner without feeling the need to rush. I will be going in Wednesday to take him shopping and for a meal again. While my mother is here I will probably continue my visits. Though at least once, maybe twice, while my mother is here dinner will be on the house. I will let her decide when, of course, though she thought of it just as I did. I wouldn't impose this on her. My friend is all in for mashed potatoes and gravy, even my mom knows that. You could probably offer shoe leather, medium rare, plus mashed potatoes and gravy and my fried would be happy as could be. *chuckles*
So, trash, recycling, polishing shoes, and getting all the guns ready and loaded into the X for travel. I am feeling a bit better for whatever reason. Yesterday was hot, in the afternoon. And I do think heat played a large role, probably half or more, in my difficulties. Being, mostly, cooler now, life is getting better. I may even plan some hikes while my mother is here. Leaving her on her own is sometimes good for both of us. Helping is fine, but I can't do much and just trip up her plans, frustrating both of us sometimes. Then again, I have invited her to go along to shoot. I have three .22's, a pistol and two rifles, that would be right up her alley. I even have some .22 short ammunition that one of the rifles likes to delicately fire off. If she makes a picnic, mostly, and I make potato salad or something, we could have a non-all-man shooting day! Well, it's nice once in a while, even to a pair of ogres like my friend and myself.
I have been getting to bed well before 20:00, often more like 17:00 and waking in the early morning. I did that last night and woke around 2:00. It works well so that by the time the day rolls around, as I start trying to get my feet under me, I am ready to roll by 7:00 or 8:00. If I can just freeze my schedule in like this, life could become successful again.
Good day.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
For the boys doing the real work.
.
.
I don't often say much this way, but I mean it. This group does it better anyway.
Well, I did (happen) to be up, and mostly on time to go help do some community work. Oh, sure, I did light stuff. Computer data processing, until I shut the machine to turn it on it's side to plug in an internet connection as the one I had been using died, and when I opened it up, the machine went to a fingerprint security. Now, that is no comparison to what they did at my home. From sticks on the roof and cleaning the spouts, to mowing and removing the leaves and twigs, leaving a wheelbarrow full. I returned while they were in the middle. I hated to not help but I honestly couldn't. Nothing like being a gimp, I suppose that is the way of sin though.
I want so much to take a nap. I truly am fried just from showering, dressing, and walking there, doing that bit, and walking back. Being around people, after being alone so often, is a bit taxing. That is part of my problem with Church. I try to escape, after events, but often can't. I'm not quite rude enough, and besides I do like people. What a mess. Too tired to stay awake and too sleepy to do anything, but there it is.
In any case, I am going to try to get to confession today. And perhaps Church after. I doubt if I will make it to Church tomorrow, but I will try if I can't quite make it tonight. Much like a power system, you try to have the led lights to see the manual so you can figure things out, then you realize you can't afford the led lights! *blink* Whoa! What happened. Never... mind. That is how my heart works, sometimes. This last month has been like that constantly. We will see what happens now, with a slight reduction. They might be right, it might not be the medicine. But if it isn't, what then? Don't give me that psychiatric mumbo-jumbo, that stuff is bogus and always has been. It is an excuse for lazy doctors. There might be something else, but either they don't know or they don't care, or both.
Anyway, I do everything I can do, when I can, how I can. I am quite sure God is happier with me (on this score) than I am. He knows all. And, yes, that brings some satisfaction. He knows some of us 'rats' are in a maze that has no solution. I am not sure if He prefers that we settle in and just accept or if He wants us to push on through? Maybe each has a place. I know I have to keep trying. I don't even honestly always even know why. It's ingrained to never ever even honestly think of giving up now. Must... move... forward... Alright, who turned off the lights? *bonk* Alright, who put the steel bar at head level in the doorway? Bleh.
Oh, I am about a quarter of the way through the book-thing I downloaded from you, D.C. I am just reading it, as much of it as I can before my 'batteries die'. I will go back through and figure out what some unknown terms and components and such mean or are. Then when I have a good handle on things, I will read it again. I will be looking specific things up, looking at pictures of the items, sorting things in my mind, and getting heavy on this. It's a start.
Good day.
.
I don't often say much this way, but I mean it. This group does it better anyway.
Well, I did (happen) to be up, and mostly on time to go help do some community work. Oh, sure, I did light stuff. Computer data processing, until I shut the machine to turn it on it's side to plug in an internet connection as the one I had been using died, and when I opened it up, the machine went to a fingerprint security. Now, that is no comparison to what they did at my home. From sticks on the roof and cleaning the spouts, to mowing and removing the leaves and twigs, leaving a wheelbarrow full. I returned while they were in the middle. I hated to not help but I honestly couldn't. Nothing like being a gimp, I suppose that is the way of sin though.
I want so much to take a nap. I truly am fried just from showering, dressing, and walking there, doing that bit, and walking back. Being around people, after being alone so often, is a bit taxing. That is part of my problem with Church. I try to escape, after events, but often can't. I'm not quite rude enough, and besides I do like people. What a mess. Too tired to stay awake and too sleepy to do anything, but there it is.
In any case, I am going to try to get to confession today. And perhaps Church after. I doubt if I will make it to Church tomorrow, but I will try if I can't quite make it tonight. Much like a power system, you try to have the led lights to see the manual so you can figure things out, then you realize you can't afford the led lights! *blink* Whoa! What happened. Never... mind. That is how my heart works, sometimes. This last month has been like that constantly. We will see what happens now, with a slight reduction. They might be right, it might not be the medicine. But if it isn't, what then? Don't give me that psychiatric mumbo-jumbo, that stuff is bogus and always has been. It is an excuse for lazy doctors. There might be something else, but either they don't know or they don't care, or both.
Anyway, I do everything I can do, when I can, how I can. I am quite sure God is happier with me (on this score) than I am. He knows all. And, yes, that brings some satisfaction. He knows some of us 'rats' are in a maze that has no solution. I am not sure if He prefers that we settle in and just accept or if He wants us to push on through? Maybe each has a place. I know I have to keep trying. I don't even honestly always even know why. It's ingrained to never ever even honestly think of giving up now. Must... move... forward... Alright, who turned off the lights? *bonk* Alright, who put the steel bar at head level in the doorway? Bleh.
Oh, I am about a quarter of the way through the book-thing I downloaded from you, D.C. I am just reading it, as much of it as I can before my 'batteries die'. I will go back through and figure out what some unknown terms and components and such mean or are. Then when I have a good handle on things, I will read it again. I will be looking specific things up, looking at pictures of the items, sorting things in my mind, and getting heavy on this. It's a start.
Good day.
Batteries might compete with solar panels for cost.
.
.
I can't quite tell what is what, exactly, yet. Panels are in these units, batteries in those, and other components offer yet their own units of capacity. Still, just from looking here and here, and guessing a bit, it looks like batteries could easily be similar in cost on up to several times the cost of solar panels. That might make them impossible to include in my system. Then again, it is all pie-in-the-sky at the moment. Only the possibility exists. I did see this battery, but it doesn't indicate if it is actually nickel iron, here is one that is "only" $1,000 per, here is $66,000 dollars, not including the ties. I actually about choked when I first saw the batteries that cost a thousand. Then I saw the ones that, well, were more. And somehow I felt better? Something like that.
Now, there are problems with nickel iron. They do last forever, but they also seem to have rather slow recharge and discharge rates. Now, what that really means in terms of a system is another matter. Longevity though? There are nickel iron batteries that have been in use for 68 years and going. They were invented by Edison, yes, that Edison, while he was trying to develop electric cars. Oh, you thought electric cars were a "new invention". Ah well. No, I knew about electric cars. I just didn't know about the particular batteries they tried, or had forgotten. Yes, I've read about such things. As a young one, I was all hopeful and cheery about the future sci-tech mags and books promised. Then becoming a history buff, I began looking at where these promises came from. Usually history held the beginnings of notions. Man has created very little save enacting what other men could only consider in their times. Even the first computer, a numerical device, was developed before technology could abide it, then the son of the man actually built one when technology advanced enough. But at such a cost as to be useless.
We are very little different from those days when I was but a boy. The incompetence is the same, only complexity has been elevated, so instead of living in a make-do world, we live in a disposable one. We, instead of rising to the pinnacle of reason have sunk to the edge of extinction. If nothing else, everything is kept up through the skin of our teeth and one or two major failings will bring the house of cards down upon our heads so fast we won't be able to recover. When cashiers can't count change, when mechanics can't fix or even diagnose because they are dependent upon electronic gadgets to understand other gadgets and confused by how that works, and when all manufacturing is based on computer systems, which if I had to say, are artificially kept running because the bugs in the systems are so many, vast, and unrelenting that nothing actually runs as it should nor would computers last a week without nearly constant fudging. What a future.
One way or another we will go back. How far back? It depends on how well we can use what we have remaining to us when all else fails to hold the barbarians in check. I would guess the best regression possible would be to the 1950's. The worst? The dark ages. Ah, but these things come and go. It is only a matter of time, assuming we survive in the first place, which means assuming no nukes, which means you best pray we figure out how to stop Iran. A nation whose president believes he needs to help the end times arrive. With or without him, we are going back. Even then survival is not assured.
Too many peoples are hooked-up, hooked-in, and jacked around. They have no means of survival when pushing paper or stamping plans will no longer bring food to their plate or provide a home in which to live. This will be harder still on women who won't be able to compete for the materials of life that requires hard work. Women will understand the world in which much of what they call chauvinism, if not created then instituted by a queen, was mandated. And they will understand why, and why they aren't equal. Still, as much of a grin as that and some other parts would bring to my face, I hope I am dead by then. There is a reason ancient civilizations were abandoned in days, moments even. The edge of extinction takes a great deal of idiocy to create, decades, centuries, millennia of hard work too, and just a few things to enact. *blink*
That, as I have heard said, "don't confront me none...". I am here, now, and will do what I can to ensure what I can. I am just converting from the cricket who croaked to the ant who survived, if at a turtles pace. Then again, I suppose the turtle did beat the rabbit. Such is the way of things. A bit more sleep, I think. That must have been one heck of a dream I just had. Never mind.
.
I can't quite tell what is what, exactly, yet. Panels are in these units, batteries in those, and other components offer yet their own units of capacity. Still, just from looking here and here, and guessing a bit, it looks like batteries could easily be similar in cost on up to several times the cost of solar panels. That might make them impossible to include in my system. Then again, it is all pie-in-the-sky at the moment. Only the possibility exists. I did see this battery, but it doesn't indicate if it is actually nickel iron, here is one that is "only" $1,000 per, here is $66,000 dollars, not including the ties. I actually about choked when I first saw the batteries that cost a thousand. Then I saw the ones that, well, were more. And somehow I felt better? Something like that.
Now, there are problems with nickel iron. They do last forever, but they also seem to have rather slow recharge and discharge rates. Now, what that really means in terms of a system is another matter. Longevity though? There are nickel iron batteries that have been in use for 68 years and going. They were invented by Edison, yes, that Edison, while he was trying to develop electric cars. Oh, you thought electric cars were a "new invention". Ah well. No, I knew about electric cars. I just didn't know about the particular batteries they tried, or had forgotten. Yes, I've read about such things. As a young one, I was all hopeful and cheery about the future sci-tech mags and books promised. Then becoming a history buff, I began looking at where these promises came from. Usually history held the beginnings of notions. Man has created very little save enacting what other men could only consider in their times. Even the first computer, a numerical device, was developed before technology could abide it, then the son of the man actually built one when technology advanced enough. But at such a cost as to be useless.
We are very little different from those days when I was but a boy. The incompetence is the same, only complexity has been elevated, so instead of living in a make-do world, we live in a disposable one. We, instead of rising to the pinnacle of reason have sunk to the edge of extinction. If nothing else, everything is kept up through the skin of our teeth and one or two major failings will bring the house of cards down upon our heads so fast we won't be able to recover. When cashiers can't count change, when mechanics can't fix or even diagnose because they are dependent upon electronic gadgets to understand other gadgets and confused by how that works, and when all manufacturing is based on computer systems, which if I had to say, are artificially kept running because the bugs in the systems are so many, vast, and unrelenting that nothing actually runs as it should nor would computers last a week without nearly constant fudging. What a future.
One way or another we will go back. How far back? It depends on how well we can use what we have remaining to us when all else fails to hold the barbarians in check. I would guess the best regression possible would be to the 1950's. The worst? The dark ages. Ah, but these things come and go. It is only a matter of time, assuming we survive in the first place, which means assuming no nukes, which means you best pray we figure out how to stop Iran. A nation whose president believes he needs to help the end times arrive. With or without him, we are going back. Even then survival is not assured.
Too many peoples are hooked-up, hooked-in, and jacked around. They have no means of survival when pushing paper or stamping plans will no longer bring food to their plate or provide a home in which to live. This will be harder still on women who won't be able to compete for the materials of life that requires hard work. Women will understand the world in which much of what they call chauvinism, if not created then instituted by a queen, was mandated. And they will understand why, and why they aren't equal. Still, as much of a grin as that and some other parts would bring to my face, I hope I am dead by then. There is a reason ancient civilizations were abandoned in days, moments even. The edge of extinction takes a great deal of idiocy to create, decades, centuries, millennia of hard work too, and just a few things to enact. *blink*
That, as I have heard said, "don't confront me none...". I am here, now, and will do what I can to ensure what I can. I am just converting from the cricket who croaked to the ant who survived, if at a turtles pace. Then again, I suppose the turtle did beat the rabbit. Such is the way of things. A bit more sleep, I think. That must have been one heck of a dream I just had. Never mind.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Definitely frustrating.
.
.
Even knowing my condition is a physical health issue doesn't change the fact that when failure occurs it is frustrating. Exhaustion and incapacity are plaguing me. Sure, a bit of this and that goes on, but nothing close to what I had hoped to do. And, here I sit. Actually, I am about ready for a nap. I don't really have a lot of choice in the matter, either. It's like using a flashlight. You might want it to shine, but as the batteries die you get less and less light until it just fails. My batteries are dying.
Oh, something I forgot to mention before. My weight has jumped. I went from 264 to 295 in about two to three months. I am not retaining water, and this last bit of the jump I haven't even been eating much. Who knows. I did stop functioning, maybe that was enough to pack on pounds somehow. I hadn't noticed it. I asked the missionaries if I look 30 pounds heavier, but they didn't think so. Ah well. Of course I have suggested I can gain and lose 30 to 50 pounds in a very short period of time. I guess this is just more proof.
Nap time. Later.
.
Even knowing my condition is a physical health issue doesn't change the fact that when failure occurs it is frustrating. Exhaustion and incapacity are plaguing me. Sure, a bit of this and that goes on, but nothing close to what I had hoped to do. And, here I sit. Actually, I am about ready for a nap. I don't really have a lot of choice in the matter, either. It's like using a flashlight. You might want it to shine, but as the batteries die you get less and less light until it just fails. My batteries are dying.
Oh, something I forgot to mention before. My weight has jumped. I went from 264 to 295 in about two to three months. I am not retaining water, and this last bit of the jump I haven't even been eating much. Who knows. I did stop functioning, maybe that was enough to pack on pounds somehow. I hadn't noticed it. I asked the missionaries if I look 30 pounds heavier, but they didn't think so. Ah well. Of course I have suggested I can gain and lose 30 to 50 pounds in a very short period of time. I guess this is just more proof.
Nap time. Later.
Today is a new day.
.
.
I will begin taking my medicine again, at the revised dosage(s), today. I will also try to begin digging in and cleaning my home. I did clean this room a good deal more, if it is still a bit rough. Mopping a few spots, putting a few boxes and the rocket stove away, and putting a pile of books in order on a shelf would finish the project. So that is my goal, along with doing the dishes and laundry, getting rid of the boxes that have recently collected along with the few that remain from my last war on boxes, and making sure to feed my face and keep enough fluids going so that I don't dehydrate again.
I have only about a week until my mother arrives. I can do bits and pieces, as and when I can. I have enough food to not have to cook until she arrives, so if I can finish washing dishes, all I will need to tend are serving dishes and bowls. It will still be rather messy, I simply can't do enough, right now, to flush out the finer details. Her bed will be made, she will have a nightstand and a lamp, and I will try to remember to use the deodorizing device she sent (another thing I can begin using up to her visit, a minor task, but I need to remember to turn it on for just a short time, then turn it off, bleh).
And, I know she will put me to work. But now that I realize I have an actual physical health issue, I know that pushing it is more than a bit unwise. I will help, but when my body says to stop, I have to stop now. It isn't a matter of will or want and I will truck no abuse. If she feels it is unfair, I will ask her to sit and we will play card games while she is here, and with no offense taken. I simply can't go her way. Now I realize what I used to do in trying was more than she should have expected. But, she didn't know. Know we do.
Cool! I mean, in the 50's at night and only into the 80's F during the day (and much cooler inside). Now, though, I can begin opening up my drapes. I just open up what doesn't allow direct sunlight in, as that would still be a bit much. But looking out into the world is a fine thing. To my south, fully visible during my morning and afternoon drape dressing, are the Wellsville Mountains. That range, and the hike it offers, is the peak of my hiking hopes. No mountaineering is required, mind you. There is a path, or many actually. The more common, or typical, or main full path, however you wish to term it, it about 9 to 11 miles, rises and falls 3k to 4k, mostly in sharp upticks followed by steep inclines, and maybe more than one (depending on which way you go?). All I know is it will test the mettle of any hiker, from anywhere in the world, and allows you to hike along the top ridge for some number of miles (or the whole of some of the paths). Further, I think trying to climb the steepest angles might actually be beyond mountaineering. From space, I have heard, looking down on it is like looking down on a knife with it's edge facing up at you. I might be wrong about the mountain climbing part, that is just speculation from lore and looks.
Oh, well, I ought to get that money into my account and get my oil changed too. It is way overdue. I haven't been able to find another place other than the place I have been going unfortunately, so that will have to do. I haven't searched in Ogden or SLC, if that would be inconvenient. Though I could fit it in with my hospital and clinic visits, perhaps. While in town I may stop at the local used goods place and look for a cookpot or two, to try the rocket stove.
Have a good day.
.
I will begin taking my medicine again, at the revised dosage(s), today. I will also try to begin digging in and cleaning my home. I did clean this room a good deal more, if it is still a bit rough. Mopping a few spots, putting a few boxes and the rocket stove away, and putting a pile of books in order on a shelf would finish the project. So that is my goal, along with doing the dishes and laundry, getting rid of the boxes that have recently collected along with the few that remain from my last war on boxes, and making sure to feed my face and keep enough fluids going so that I don't dehydrate again.
I have only about a week until my mother arrives. I can do bits and pieces, as and when I can. I have enough food to not have to cook until she arrives, so if I can finish washing dishes, all I will need to tend are serving dishes and bowls. It will still be rather messy, I simply can't do enough, right now, to flush out the finer details. Her bed will be made, she will have a nightstand and a lamp, and I will try to remember to use the deodorizing device she sent (another thing I can begin using up to her visit, a minor task, but I need to remember to turn it on for just a short time, then turn it off, bleh).
And, I know she will put me to work. But now that I realize I have an actual physical health issue, I know that pushing it is more than a bit unwise. I will help, but when my body says to stop, I have to stop now. It isn't a matter of will or want and I will truck no abuse. If she feels it is unfair, I will ask her to sit and we will play card games while she is here, and with no offense taken. I simply can't go her way. Now I realize what I used to do in trying was more than she should have expected. But, she didn't know. Know we do.
Cool! I mean, in the 50's at night and only into the 80's F during the day (and much cooler inside). Now, though, I can begin opening up my drapes. I just open up what doesn't allow direct sunlight in, as that would still be a bit much. But looking out into the world is a fine thing. To my south, fully visible during my morning and afternoon drape dressing, are the Wellsville Mountains. That range, and the hike it offers, is the peak of my hiking hopes. No mountaineering is required, mind you. There is a path, or many actually. The more common, or typical, or main full path, however you wish to term it, it about 9 to 11 miles, rises and falls 3k to 4k, mostly in sharp upticks followed by steep inclines, and maybe more than one (depending on which way you go?). All I know is it will test the mettle of any hiker, from anywhere in the world, and allows you to hike along the top ridge for some number of miles (or the whole of some of the paths). Further, I think trying to climb the steepest angles might actually be beyond mountaineering. From space, I have heard, looking down on it is like looking down on a knife with it's edge facing up at you. I might be wrong about the mountain climbing part, that is just speculation from lore and looks.
Oh, well, I ought to get that money into my account and get my oil changed too. It is way overdue. I haven't been able to find another place other than the place I have been going unfortunately, so that will have to do. I haven't searched in Ogden or SLC, if that would be inconvenient. Though I could fit it in with my hospital and clinic visits, perhaps. While in town I may stop at the local used goods place and look for a cookpot or two, to try the rocket stove.
Have a good day.
Some questions.
.
.
No, no, not a consideration. However, I have been wondering about something for some time. Polygamy has been of academic interest. No, it isn't a common practice where I live and the Mormon church has left it behind, not in legal part but in actual doctrine and dogma. So, that isn't what it causing the questions in my mind. The thing is, after being told all my life that this practice is incorrect, I have yet to find a religious reason for the ending of the practice. Christ was a Jew. And, at that time, I do believe that marrying the wife of a deceased brother required Polygamy, as most men were married already. Christ said nothing about this.
Nor can I find, in the Catholic Church, anything more than that the notion of marrying more than one woman was ever officially outlawed. It has simply become the practice. In minor research, so far, it seems that the early church only allowed one marriage, but did allow for having other women. Which, actually, seems worse than having two wives as there is little in the way of assurances to the other women. Perhaps the Church boxed itself in and sort of lost the fight on legalistic or moral grounds based on what I suggest. And, while finally giving over to the notion of a single wife and no other women, it didn't really follow through. But as laws became absolute and the state gained power, it took the notions from the Church and cemented them. In any case, I see no religious authority to bar multiple wives save a tradition that is no older, give or take, than the reformation. Oddly, the reformation accepted this unwarranted practice of monogamy.
Actually, other than social stigma potentially, and economic concerns (lessened by working women though, certainly), I have seen little concern from women regarding having multiple women as lovers. As often as not, I have seen women almost hoping I had other women, or at least was interesting to other women in this way, which for a healthy young men can only lead to one thing. For my part, the few times I tried it, it ended up more trouble than it was worth. No, not the part of having women jumping me about it, few did. It was the hassle of visiting this one, then that one, spending money here then there, and trying to do my own things on top of it. Women are expensive in more ways than one. Oh, sure, there were some women who wouldn't play multiples at all. Then again, I think they were first timers or had been raised in specific ways or had seen their father 'cheat' on their mother and didn't like it. I was always perfectly honest about it, though too. And, I was never married, so there was that.
Further, at least if the economy collapses and life goes back to the hard old days where men work hard and die young, it will make a reemergence. When women did everything by hand, it was much easier to do the work with four or six hands than with two. From rearing to cooking to washing, work was heavy and back-breaking. If the world of work returns to the very hard, too hard for women, and men become just as hard because of it and therefore won't tolerate a weak worker getting the same pay, women will again be home-bound. I do think things will change. Imagine no electricity, no engines or few engines, and the need for wood, coal, and the ability to lift a hundred pounds often or even swing a two pound axe or pick or shovel all day. It could happen, and in the blink of an eye. Just taking care of widows would almost obligate some, many, to such a situation.
Just... thinking. And, no, like I said, I don't actually look forward to such a time. Women ARE a hassle. It might truly have been men who devised marriage as a singular institution and moral code, but for themselves. Whoever invented it, instituted it, though... they weren't good at keeping it. That is all I know for sure. At least men and women aren't good at monogamy completely. Oh, whatever. It has just been on my mind and I want more answers. "Just because" has never been good enough, ever. And I hate when some one says it's God's way when they have zero evidence and in fact most evidence points to just the opposite.
.
No, no, not a consideration. However, I have been wondering about something for some time. Polygamy has been of academic interest. No, it isn't a common practice where I live and the Mormon church has left it behind, not in legal part but in actual doctrine and dogma. So, that isn't what it causing the questions in my mind. The thing is, after being told all my life that this practice is incorrect, I have yet to find a religious reason for the ending of the practice. Christ was a Jew. And, at that time, I do believe that marrying the wife of a deceased brother required Polygamy, as most men were married already. Christ said nothing about this.
Nor can I find, in the Catholic Church, anything more than that the notion of marrying more than one woman was ever officially outlawed. It has simply become the practice. In minor research, so far, it seems that the early church only allowed one marriage, but did allow for having other women. Which, actually, seems worse than having two wives as there is little in the way of assurances to the other women. Perhaps the Church boxed itself in and sort of lost the fight on legalistic or moral grounds based on what I suggest. And, while finally giving over to the notion of a single wife and no other women, it didn't really follow through. But as laws became absolute and the state gained power, it took the notions from the Church and cemented them. In any case, I see no religious authority to bar multiple wives save a tradition that is no older, give or take, than the reformation. Oddly, the reformation accepted this unwarranted practice of monogamy.
Actually, other than social stigma potentially, and economic concerns (lessened by working women though, certainly), I have seen little concern from women regarding having multiple women as lovers. As often as not, I have seen women almost hoping I had other women, or at least was interesting to other women in this way, which for a healthy young men can only lead to one thing. For my part, the few times I tried it, it ended up more trouble than it was worth. No, not the part of having women jumping me about it, few did. It was the hassle of visiting this one, then that one, spending money here then there, and trying to do my own things on top of it. Women are expensive in more ways than one. Oh, sure, there were some women who wouldn't play multiples at all. Then again, I think they were first timers or had been raised in specific ways or had seen their father 'cheat' on their mother and didn't like it. I was always perfectly honest about it, though too. And, I was never married, so there was that.
Further, at least if the economy collapses and life goes back to the hard old days where men work hard and die young, it will make a reemergence. When women did everything by hand, it was much easier to do the work with four or six hands than with two. From rearing to cooking to washing, work was heavy and back-breaking. If the world of work returns to the very hard, too hard for women, and men become just as hard because of it and therefore won't tolerate a weak worker getting the same pay, women will again be home-bound. I do think things will change. Imagine no electricity, no engines or few engines, and the need for wood, coal, and the ability to lift a hundred pounds often or even swing a two pound axe or pick or shovel all day. It could happen, and in the blink of an eye. Just taking care of widows would almost obligate some, many, to such a situation.
Just... thinking. And, no, like I said, I don't actually look forward to such a time. Women ARE a hassle. It might truly have been men who devised marriage as a singular institution and moral code, but for themselves. Whoever invented it, instituted it, though... they weren't good at keeping it. That is all I know for sure. At least men and women aren't good at monogamy completely. Oh, whatever. It has just been on my mind and I want more answers. "Just because" has never been good enough, ever. And I hate when some one says it's God's way when they have zero evidence and in fact most evidence points to just the opposite.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Reviewing electric use.
.
.
Two things can be noted right off the bat. Firs, I think electric heating is not the way to go. It quadruples my energy use. Barring the months where I use that heating, I come in somewhere between 450 and 650 kWhrs of consumption. I suspect I could work on that a bit, too. Just leaving all lights on is a common occurrence here, well the kitchen (though that is fluorescent), the living room (a single bulb lamp), my bedroom (another single bulb lamp), and the four bulb overhead light in the computer room. As well, I usually have the computer on. Sometimes the television as well. No, I hadn't even been thinking along the lines of limiting use to see how low I could get it. The other thing to note is that, after falling behind and struggling to get caught up on payments, and finally automatically sending them $150 a month, I am $350 and a bit more ahead on that bill. I would love to have it be automatic, but they will only do that if I go paperless (I refuse to go paperless because of my problems with keeping my computer functional. I want to be able to track the bill, or at least see it.)
Anyway, just ending electric heat will help a great deal. If I could figure out my schedule so I could be up during the day, thus not needing light, that would help too. But, that has been an ongoing struggle my whole life. I doubt if I can do much about it, at this time. Still, I will endeavor to struggle, or... somethin'. How much that will raise my gas bill though, is a whole other story. Only time will tell. Then again, and too, I don't necessarily need to run around in my skivvies. I suppose wearing some clothes might help. :p Damn all-growed-up deck-apes, anyway! My blessed mothers did try! Ah well.
So, looking at 650 kWhrs is a lot better than looking at 2,130 kWhrs, for sure. A 3,500 watt system (assuming no losses, just work with me, and that this is per hour production) would need six hours and twelve minutes (give or take) to provide the a days worth of energy for a 650 kWhr month. (I am using maximum as my standard for example, and would in designing a system anyway. More so since I planning on going off-grid eventually.) Now, losses of at least 15% would come into play if I converted that energy into AC, thus making using some or most of that in a DC grid even better. (I do hate fluorescent lighting though, to be perfectly honest.) Still, if I am seeing this correctly, that is about how it works out. Given that I only get about two hours of useful sun in the winter (if that is correct), that would, with two systems, give me 4 hours at 3,500 wats, so, 420 kWhrs for those months.
Now, because of winter, doubling that might seem reasonable if I am not sure about affordable. And, the best case scenario regarding panels, I have seen so far, would require 28 panels in the 6' x 3' range!?! Yeah, okay. Even 14 panels of that size for a 3500 kWhr system would be a bit of a stretch. Scale, money, use, size, placement, shape. Ouch. Adding in cutting back on energy use and eliminating electric heating and at least temporarily having it grid-tied, would cover most of my energy use. But probably not quite, even so, in the heart of winter. But it does give me a starting point, a theory from which to work. An idea by which to begin planning, comparing. The good thing, assuming no emp blast during that time, is that in the warmer of six or seven months, I would be getting some money back from the system. For another couple of months I would probably just be breaking even. The final few months I would be paying a much lesser than current electric bill. Let me see, assuming (and rightly) that in a grid-tied, duel 3.5 kWhr system, I would end up paying no utilities (and might make some money), and assuming the system lasts 25 years without costs, at $150 a month, it would come out to (at $150 or $120 a month in utilities, not including anything electrical buyback), a savings in utilities of $45,000 or $36,000. A lot of assumptions there though. D.C. doesn't seem to think it pays for itself, but... if the warranties hold water, it would seem to pay for itself. Am I missing something?
I tried to look over the gas bill online but can't seem to log in or something. A simple cast iron stove (soapstone would be nicer, but sheesh, have you see the price of those?) would eliminate that bill, though whether wood would be economical is another matter entirely. Then again, if I use even eight cords a year (at the current prices I have seen quoted of $120 a cord), that would be $960 a year. Further, I am pretty sure I would use far less, more like four to five cords a year, so $480 to $600. Hmmm, it is just that upfront cost. Between the cook stove and a minor heating stove, plus installation, that would come in around $8k to $15k, if I did my adding correctly before. Further, a cooking stove can also be arranged to handle much of, if not all, the hot water needs of a home. Supplemented with a hot water heater, for those times when a cook stove is not wanted (summer) and add in the solar energy system, it could work quite well. What, the 21st Century Amish? Well, yeah. Sort of. Not a bad comparison I should think, in the secular way. Or more in a cultural way?
Doh! I hate seeing it all right there but just not quite being able to touch it. I suppose like all good things, one must simply abide their time and dollars.
.
Two things can be noted right off the bat. Firs, I think electric heating is not the way to go. It quadruples my energy use. Barring the months where I use that heating, I come in somewhere between 450 and 650 kWhrs of consumption. I suspect I could work on that a bit, too. Just leaving all lights on is a common occurrence here, well the kitchen (though that is fluorescent), the living room (a single bulb lamp), my bedroom (another single bulb lamp), and the four bulb overhead light in the computer room. As well, I usually have the computer on. Sometimes the television as well. No, I hadn't even been thinking along the lines of limiting use to see how low I could get it. The other thing to note is that, after falling behind and struggling to get caught up on payments, and finally automatically sending them $150 a month, I am $350 and a bit more ahead on that bill. I would love to have it be automatic, but they will only do that if I go paperless (I refuse to go paperless because of my problems with keeping my computer functional. I want to be able to track the bill, or at least see it.)
Anyway, just ending electric heat will help a great deal. If I could figure out my schedule so I could be up during the day, thus not needing light, that would help too. But, that has been an ongoing struggle my whole life. I doubt if I can do much about it, at this time. Still, I will endeavor to struggle, or... somethin'. How much that will raise my gas bill though, is a whole other story. Only time will tell. Then again, and too, I don't necessarily need to run around in my skivvies. I suppose wearing some clothes might help. :p Damn all-growed-up deck-apes, anyway! My blessed mothers did try! Ah well.
So, looking at 650 kWhrs is a lot better than looking at 2,130 kWhrs, for sure. A 3,500 watt system (assuming no losses, just work with me, and that this is per hour production) would need six hours and twelve minutes (give or take) to provide the a days worth of energy for a 650 kWhr month. (I am using maximum as my standard for example, and would in designing a system anyway. More so since I planning on going off-grid eventually.) Now, losses of at least 15% would come into play if I converted that energy into AC, thus making using some or most of that in a DC grid even better. (I do hate fluorescent lighting though, to be perfectly honest.) Still, if I am seeing this correctly, that is about how it works out. Given that I only get about two hours of useful sun in the winter (if that is correct), that would, with two systems, give me 4 hours at 3,500 wats, so, 420 kWhrs for those months.
Now, because of winter, doubling that might seem reasonable if I am not sure about affordable. And, the best case scenario regarding panels, I have seen so far, would require 28 panels in the 6' x 3' range!?! Yeah, okay. Even 14 panels of that size for a 3500 kWhr system would be a bit of a stretch. Scale, money, use, size, placement, shape. Ouch. Adding in cutting back on energy use and eliminating electric heating and at least temporarily having it grid-tied, would cover most of my energy use. But probably not quite, even so, in the heart of winter. But it does give me a starting point, a theory from which to work. An idea by which to begin planning, comparing. The good thing, assuming no emp blast during that time, is that in the warmer of six or seven months, I would be getting some money back from the system. For another couple of months I would probably just be breaking even. The final few months I would be paying a much lesser than current electric bill. Let me see, assuming (and rightly) that in a grid-tied, duel 3.5 kWhr system, I would end up paying no utilities (and might make some money), and assuming the system lasts 25 years without costs, at $150 a month, it would come out to (at $150 or $120 a month in utilities, not including anything electrical buyback), a savings in utilities of $45,000 or $36,000. A lot of assumptions there though. D.C. doesn't seem to think it pays for itself, but... if the warranties hold water, it would seem to pay for itself. Am I missing something?
I tried to look over the gas bill online but can't seem to log in or something. A simple cast iron stove (soapstone would be nicer, but sheesh, have you see the price of those?) would eliminate that bill, though whether wood would be economical is another matter entirely. Then again, if I use even eight cords a year (at the current prices I have seen quoted of $120 a cord), that would be $960 a year. Further, I am pretty sure I would use far less, more like four to five cords a year, so $480 to $600. Hmmm, it is just that upfront cost. Between the cook stove and a minor heating stove, plus installation, that would come in around $8k to $15k, if I did my adding correctly before. Further, a cooking stove can also be arranged to handle much of, if not all, the hot water needs of a home. Supplemented with a hot water heater, for those times when a cook stove is not wanted (summer) and add in the solar energy system, it could work quite well. What, the 21st Century Amish? Well, yeah. Sort of. Not a bad comparison I should think, in the secular way. Or more in a cultural way?
Doh! I hate seeing it all right there but just not quite being able to touch it. I suppose like all good things, one must simply abide their time and dollars.
Nope.
.
.
The book is a flop. It was written by a greeny who thinks the government should be in control, except that we shouldn't be using any energy. We should all just live off the land, or something. No, I don't agree. I just think that too many of our needs have become too dependent on too large of systems to remain dependable. When all fails, the government couldn't, if it wanted to do so, fix the problem. Any problem. Much like food, personal security, energy, and everything else, it is really up to you. Right now we have systems that keep food flowing, supply energy relatively cheaply, offer products and services for everything you ever needed and many things you simply want (or think you want... ugh). We are also living so far beyond our economic (but well within our natural resource) means that there is no way it can continue. Greens, as I see it, simply confuse the two.
Most greens, from what I have seen, are all talk anyway. Oh, sure, they will buy that electric car (so long as they have it as their show car with the Caddie, or Hummer, or Porsche in the garage). There are some young idealists and woman of all ages who buy such things (and quietly, after they realize the huge problems, get rid of them on the quiet, at a loss, while bragging about having them, until they have the new car, after which they completely flush the memory and bringing it up causes a hissy fit). The rich ones I have known have usually been some of the most abusive, in regards to energy and natural resources, of all the people I have known. One who just loved the earth and all that... had a home in Arizona, on the grounds of which she "grew" an amazing lush plant and tree filled oasis, using untold amounts of water and energy to sustain the unnatural. She was just creepy regarding these things and on all fronts of "the earth" and such. Got the money and her current income from divorce too, of course. I guess the greens I have known are three quarters of why I don't believe in "green". The other three quarters (it only seems to add up to more than 100%, hush) is the total fiction behind the notion of "green".
Practical efficiency and clean living? That is something else entirely. A rich man who lives in Arizona, but instead of trying to create a rain forest merely enhances his stead so as to highlight the native? Well, better yet, how about if you live anywhere, rich, middle-class, or poor, and you just abstain from the ludicrous, live your life, enjoy a family and pets, grow what of your food you can, and lead a nice normal humble life. Is that too much to ask? But don't spend your time worrying about having a light bulb lit, appliances so frugal they are all but useless, spending your hard earned gains on gimmicks that beyond being a further waste of money and also potentially being a hazard but also ending up adding to the waste of the world, or your next breath.
No, the book is junk. It did, very slightly, demystify solar power. It also does have some functional diy projects, such as a solar powered roof vent. I am not sure I can trust his book, but if so, it seems the crux of a system is in a very few components; solar panels, inverters/chargers, charge controllers, batteries, wiring, and maybe a tie-in (which would be integrated into the inverter/charger I am considering). He didn't bother getting into nitty gritty details, didn't offer a single formula, and was just preaching to the "kicky avant-garde" rich kids he went to Ivy League grad school with who, if they should be bothered by such strenuous activity of actually considering the new pop idea of solar energy would just have some servant create the thing, but would want to know enough to take full credit for it, assuming they could do so on someone else's nickle somehow. I've got to tell you, if you can't do the basic math, with a moderately well written guide, with such few components... Perhaps you should go back to school or get a contractor. As for me, I am now in search of a more technical manual that hooks all the components together in a general way, offering formulas for scale, things to consider, dangers, and resources for specifics. I am most certain someone out there has bothered to write such a book. A home energy audit and a solid review of my energy use, then tripling it in case a woman type ends up living here. (Yes, women use a ton more energy. No wonder they have guilt about living and such and thus are so often "greenies". What is that, anyway? If they bear young, they perfectly make up for it. If they don't? Not so much.)
So, now to begin digging. Well, not figuratively. How I will actually install a system is another thing. If I can get back to how I was doing until the last medicine increase, or perhaps the one before that, I might make my way to the effort. And, until the money comes in, it is all academic in any case. It will come down to a convergence of improbabilities? Maybe. But isn't that always the case? Yet, her I sit, typing, in spite of probably every number cruncher with the capacity to know enough to figure the probability of me being here doing that left scratching their head and wondering how. I already am impossible. (For more proof, ask any woman I have known, they'll tell you.) It could happen. And, if the right situations (that have a real possibility to occur) do occur, it will happen. But, if I have one of the legs, a solid plan with the components chosen in size and volume, firmly planted on solid ground when the other shoes drop, this plan has a much better chance of happening, and sooner rather than later.
Some odd things I noted, while looking at components. While price is a factor on any component, it is not necessarily linear. For example, a 250 watt panel is double in cost and size of an 85 watt panel. Of course, at three times the output, it is much more economical in size and output in a system aimed for that size output or more. Now, given things need to be in pairs, save minor stand alone devices, scale might have some influence. Physical size might be important to someone with limited sun access points. But to be honest, I think many contractors think purely with the lowest dollar in mind, thinking people want the cheapest (even when in truth it isn't, just looks like it). While it might be difficult for a single guy to look through, and keep up on, the product lines out there, you would think businesses would. Now, I can't say that they don't, I can only say I have reviewed a couple of notions from sites which indicate that this is not done. And while it might seem easy enough to review a contractor's offer, can most do that in a reasonable manner? Can they do it full depth? I worry that a contractor (the book really pushes for those) will use the cheapest components and lowest grade wiring possible. Is that really what you want to depend upon? Bah!
I need to find a better source for scaling, review my energy usage, put a system together, and consider dc appliances and lighting, and such. A book would be better. The internet is okay but this loaner machine doesn't even always save bookmarks for some reason and the internet flows and is mostly about sales. It is no longer the information superhighway, it is merely the commerce supernet. Of course, a book, by the time it is written and published, might be woeful dated. Though the newest technologies should often be avoided like the plague until they have been tried and trued by those who can afford to tinker. Hmm, I might also begin looking into whether the knob and tube electrical system is functional or is just remnant, and what to do about that.
By the way... The book indicated that most people have their fuse boxes outside of their homes. I have, in all my time, never known of such. Is that common? His name sounds German, perhaps he is and that is how they do things? In any case, that is something I want remedied. I find it unnatural.
.
The book is a flop. It was written by a greeny who thinks the government should be in control, except that we shouldn't be using any energy. We should all just live off the land, or something. No, I don't agree. I just think that too many of our needs have become too dependent on too large of systems to remain dependable. When all fails, the government couldn't, if it wanted to do so, fix the problem. Any problem. Much like food, personal security, energy, and everything else, it is really up to you. Right now we have systems that keep food flowing, supply energy relatively cheaply, offer products and services for everything you ever needed and many things you simply want (or think you want... ugh). We are also living so far beyond our economic (but well within our natural resource) means that there is no way it can continue. Greens, as I see it, simply confuse the two.
Most greens, from what I have seen, are all talk anyway. Oh, sure, they will buy that electric car (so long as they have it as their show car with the Caddie, or Hummer, or Porsche in the garage). There are some young idealists and woman of all ages who buy such things (and quietly, after they realize the huge problems, get rid of them on the quiet, at a loss, while bragging about having them, until they have the new car, after which they completely flush the memory and bringing it up causes a hissy fit). The rich ones I have known have usually been some of the most abusive, in regards to energy and natural resources, of all the people I have known. One who just loved the earth and all that... had a home in Arizona, on the grounds of which she "grew" an amazing lush plant and tree filled oasis, using untold amounts of water and energy to sustain the unnatural. She was just creepy regarding these things and on all fronts of "the earth" and such. Got the money and her current income from divorce too, of course. I guess the greens I have known are three quarters of why I don't believe in "green". The other three quarters (it only seems to add up to more than 100%, hush) is the total fiction behind the notion of "green".
Practical efficiency and clean living? That is something else entirely. A rich man who lives in Arizona, but instead of trying to create a rain forest merely enhances his stead so as to highlight the native? Well, better yet, how about if you live anywhere, rich, middle-class, or poor, and you just abstain from the ludicrous, live your life, enjoy a family and pets, grow what of your food you can, and lead a nice normal humble life. Is that too much to ask? But don't spend your time worrying about having a light bulb lit, appliances so frugal they are all but useless, spending your hard earned gains on gimmicks that beyond being a further waste of money and also potentially being a hazard but also ending up adding to the waste of the world, or your next breath.
No, the book is junk. It did, very slightly, demystify solar power. It also does have some functional diy projects, such as a solar powered roof vent. I am not sure I can trust his book, but if so, it seems the crux of a system is in a very few components; solar panels, inverters/chargers, charge controllers, batteries, wiring, and maybe a tie-in (which would be integrated into the inverter/charger I am considering). He didn't bother getting into nitty gritty details, didn't offer a single formula, and was just preaching to the "kicky avant-garde" rich kids he went to Ivy League grad school with who, if they should be bothered by such strenuous activity of actually considering the new pop idea of solar energy would just have some servant create the thing, but would want to know enough to take full credit for it, assuming they could do so on someone else's nickle somehow. I've got to tell you, if you can't do the basic math, with a moderately well written guide, with such few components... Perhaps you should go back to school or get a contractor. As for me, I am now in search of a more technical manual that hooks all the components together in a general way, offering formulas for scale, things to consider, dangers, and resources for specifics. I am most certain someone out there has bothered to write such a book. A home energy audit and a solid review of my energy use, then tripling it in case a woman type ends up living here. (Yes, women use a ton more energy. No wonder they have guilt about living and such and thus are so often "greenies". What is that, anyway? If they bear young, they perfectly make up for it. If they don't? Not so much.)
So, now to begin digging. Well, not figuratively. How I will actually install a system is another thing. If I can get back to how I was doing until the last medicine increase, or perhaps the one before that, I might make my way to the effort. And, until the money comes in, it is all academic in any case. It will come down to a convergence of improbabilities? Maybe. But isn't that always the case? Yet, her I sit, typing, in spite of probably every number cruncher with the capacity to know enough to figure the probability of me being here doing that left scratching their head and wondering how. I already am impossible. (For more proof, ask any woman I have known, they'll tell you.) It could happen. And, if the right situations (that have a real possibility to occur) do occur, it will happen. But, if I have one of the legs, a solid plan with the components chosen in size and volume, firmly planted on solid ground when the other shoes drop, this plan has a much better chance of happening, and sooner rather than later.
Some odd things I noted, while looking at components. While price is a factor on any component, it is not necessarily linear. For example, a 250 watt panel is double in cost and size of an 85 watt panel. Of course, at three times the output, it is much more economical in size and output in a system aimed for that size output or more. Now, given things need to be in pairs, save minor stand alone devices, scale might have some influence. Physical size might be important to someone with limited sun access points. But to be honest, I think many contractors think purely with the lowest dollar in mind, thinking people want the cheapest (even when in truth it isn't, just looks like it). While it might be difficult for a single guy to look through, and keep up on, the product lines out there, you would think businesses would. Now, I can't say that they don't, I can only say I have reviewed a couple of notions from sites which indicate that this is not done. And while it might seem easy enough to review a contractor's offer, can most do that in a reasonable manner? Can they do it full depth? I worry that a contractor (the book really pushes for those) will use the cheapest components and lowest grade wiring possible. Is that really what you want to depend upon? Bah!
I need to find a better source for scaling, review my energy usage, put a system together, and consider dc appliances and lighting, and such. A book would be better. The internet is okay but this loaner machine doesn't even always save bookmarks for some reason and the internet flows and is mostly about sales. It is no longer the information superhighway, it is merely the commerce supernet. Of course, a book, by the time it is written and published, might be woeful dated. Though the newest technologies should often be avoided like the plague until they have been tried and trued by those who can afford to tinker. Hmm, I might also begin looking into whether the knob and tube electrical system is functional or is just remnant, and what to do about that.
By the way... The book indicated that most people have their fuse boxes outside of their homes. I have, in all my time, never known of such. Is that common? His name sounds German, perhaps he is and that is how they do things? In any case, that is something I want remedied. I find it unnatural.
I'm not sure if the solar power book was worth the money.
.
.
So far. From what I have read it is quite general. I haven't seen formulas, concepts, or... anything. I am still rooting around though. It looks like the author believes completely in tied-in systems, with the only real exception being kits for mountaintop retreats or other places too far from the grid. Further, from what I am seeing, he is talking about what components do but not how to figure out the ratings, or how to decide which components are best, how to scale a system, or any of it. His goal seems to be to make you want a grid-tied system and have contractors install it, which he thinks will add very little to the project in the way of expense. It isn't a book, so far, so much to bring dummies up to speed but to keep dummies dumb. I am hoping there will be more useful information eventually.
While I never completed engineering school, or electrical tech school, I actually have more of an understanding than even I probably expect. Can I test out on it? Probably not. Can I used a tech manual to assist and get something figured out for volts, amps, AC, DC, fuses, and losses? Yeah, most likely. I was hoping this was the book. On the good side I might have some sort of idea what components go into a system, what they do, which parts are most susceptible to failure or problems, and a few other things, from which I might find a better book or other sources of information by which to create a way to create various scalings of systems to begin comparing prices, by which to begin checking need/want versus price. To be honest, if you have all the components anymore, in the correct capacity to work together, it is pretty much plug and play. Or, that is my humble opinion. It is not like you have to gear each device independently, programming it to work with your exact system. Oh, sure, there might be some settings, there might be some considerations that aren't obvious (due to losses, capacity, switching times, and such). But most components, from the solid manufacturers, are sort of made for dummies. They don't expect home-owning diy'ers, let alone contractors, to be professional electrical technicians who also have a degree in electrical engineering! That type of system will fail always and anywhere, save in a lab which employs such (and I would even have my doubts in many of those).
One thing that I can probably arrange is a home energy audit. They don't cost very much but they can do a great deal toward figuring out how, in the first place, to tighten up my home energy use, regardless if I go solar or not. I won't say the book gave me the idea, but it has cemented the idea and given it prominence in near future goals.
Oh, sure, I could have a company or three tromp through my home and give me quotes, with never ending mail and email asking when I am going to buy. I just don't want that kind of hassle. The book suggests that the energy company might not allow a grid tie-in, sort of required for a larger system (at least initially because of rebates), without it being contracted. I sort of suspect there may be issues, but because of the general notion in the Utah rebate program indicating self design and installation might not have to meet as high of a standard as professionally installed systems, I am wondering. Then again, that provision might be aimed more (or solely) at cabins and outbuilding type solar power systems. More must be learned on all that.
Back to reading. *shrug* Maybe I can pick up something of use.
.
So far. From what I have read it is quite general. I haven't seen formulas, concepts, or... anything. I am still rooting around though. It looks like the author believes completely in tied-in systems, with the only real exception being kits for mountaintop retreats or other places too far from the grid. Further, from what I am seeing, he is talking about what components do but not how to figure out the ratings, or how to decide which components are best, how to scale a system, or any of it. His goal seems to be to make you want a grid-tied system and have contractors install it, which he thinks will add very little to the project in the way of expense. It isn't a book, so far, so much to bring dummies up to speed but to keep dummies dumb. I am hoping there will be more useful information eventually.
While I never completed engineering school, or electrical tech school, I actually have more of an understanding than even I probably expect. Can I test out on it? Probably not. Can I used a tech manual to assist and get something figured out for volts, amps, AC, DC, fuses, and losses? Yeah, most likely. I was hoping this was the book. On the good side I might have some sort of idea what components go into a system, what they do, which parts are most susceptible to failure or problems, and a few other things, from which I might find a better book or other sources of information by which to create a way to create various scalings of systems to begin comparing prices, by which to begin checking need/want versus price. To be honest, if you have all the components anymore, in the correct capacity to work together, it is pretty much plug and play. Or, that is my humble opinion. It is not like you have to gear each device independently, programming it to work with your exact system. Oh, sure, there might be some settings, there might be some considerations that aren't obvious (due to losses, capacity, switching times, and such). But most components, from the solid manufacturers, are sort of made for dummies. They don't expect home-owning diy'ers, let alone contractors, to be professional electrical technicians who also have a degree in electrical engineering! That type of system will fail always and anywhere, save in a lab which employs such (and I would even have my doubts in many of those).
One thing that I can probably arrange is a home energy audit. They don't cost very much but they can do a great deal toward figuring out how, in the first place, to tighten up my home energy use, regardless if I go solar or not. I won't say the book gave me the idea, but it has cemented the idea and given it prominence in near future goals.
Oh, sure, I could have a company or three tromp through my home and give me quotes, with never ending mail and email asking when I am going to buy. I just don't want that kind of hassle. The book suggests that the energy company might not allow a grid tie-in, sort of required for a larger system (at least initially because of rebates), without it being contracted. I sort of suspect there may be issues, but because of the general notion in the Utah rebate program indicating self design and installation might not have to meet as high of a standard as professionally installed systems, I am wondering. Then again, that provision might be aimed more (or solely) at cabins and outbuilding type solar power systems. More must be learned on all that.
Back to reading. *shrug* Maybe I can pick up something of use.
I woke at midnight, or so.
.
.
Then promptly went right back to bed. I could have gotten up. But I wanted a bit more sleep to, recharge more or something like that. I will just miss medicine today, again. But I will set up my medicine container for the next two weeks today, at the new doses and start tomorrow. That might give me a chance to fight back through at these intermediate levels. Dangerous? Everything I do, at this point, has flaws, pitfalls, and dangers, as I see things. And I don't have the doctors on my side. They just want what they want and aren't worried about my ability to live within what they want. They have a good life, what the heck to they care? For them it is academic, for me it is very real. No, I know, they are just trying.
My mother called. I let her know that my plans to clean the place up before her arrival were sinking faster than my notions of going back to college. Not a problem, she suggested. We will see. She asked about the angiography. She was pleased to know that not only had I arranged it but that I have lodging arranged for our stay. I told her I couldn't necessarily find a room that allowed smoking, just to let her know up front and be forewarned, but she was fine with that too. She was hoping for a pool or sauna room or something. I think the place has that, but can't swear to it. When you look at a dozen places, details blur. She is set to arrive in about a week. I still hope to get some more work done, even if it's just trimming the edges. She will have to drive my 'rig', to familiarize herself with it, before she tries to do so in the traffic of SLC. She is actually a good driver, excellent, or was for most of my life and I see no reason for that to change (though I will ask that she turn off and not use her cell phone, that is the one thing she does that can be frightful and SLC traffic won't allow for it).
I had a visitor today. My word I have industrious neighbors. Anyway, he wanted to visit and discuss some things. This Saturday the first ward is having a... day of work contribution type day. They wanted to know if I would allow them to work on my yard. Well, I invited them in, and asked pardon for how my house looks. He said no problem, that his house might be messy at times (though I suspect that was just being nice). He had two of his young ones with him. We talked for a bit. I explained that I have been rather ill, and he sort of knew that from the last time he visited. But that time I didn't realize it was a heart issue, which changes much in minds, what is thought of an illness. He also asked if I would be interested in helping with data processing, but that it wouldn't be required, as they are putting information into a database. I suggested that is something I could do, and easily.
This man has six children, a huge garden, teaches fourth grade, and works another job or three, to make ends meet. Nothing like the harsh reality of real people to bring perspective, though I have little choice either. But letting people know that, if the medicine (which is brutal to take all by itself) doesn't work, that the doctors want to put you on a heart transplant recipient list (regardless that I wouldn't do that), makes a world of difference in their understanding of your condition. Mental issues? Not so much. Most people are half crazy with work, family, and religious fulfillment. But most of them aren't on death's door. No worry, though, I suggested. I don't think it'll kill me. It'll just slow me down a little more. *grins* I teased that the meds fulfilled the old saying about a chip on the shoulder. The illness being one chip, the meds being another chip, and that somehow a chip on both shoulders makes me BalanceD! Heh
He asked if I would be up a little later. And despite it being a long day, I said I would. At around 19:00 he brought over a bunch of garden items and fruits from their bushes! Berries are fruits, right? Potatoes, corn, berries, tomatoes, and such. So, yes, with a 'little work' you can have a fantastic garden hereabouts by the way! My word, it was like the best you can hope for from a farmers market! *sigh* And here I sit. The only thing of note that I do is, continue breathing... if that might actually be a trick at times. Still, it is depressing. Ah well, I'll deal with it. On noes! A third chip! Hmm, I'll root around for a fourth chip. In pairs it works.
Well, so it goes. Another day in the life. At least my humor stays. I'll probably be laughing while I'm dying, if it doesn't hurt too much or when I get past the pain. And, yeah, I like that idea. I probably came in laughing, if my mother didn't think it was all that funny. But then she didn't seem to have a problem putting me in there in the first place. *chuckles* 'Now where is my milk, woman!'
.
Then promptly went right back to bed. I could have gotten up. But I wanted a bit more sleep to, recharge more or something like that. I will just miss medicine today, again. But I will set up my medicine container for the next two weeks today, at the new doses and start tomorrow. That might give me a chance to fight back through at these intermediate levels. Dangerous? Everything I do, at this point, has flaws, pitfalls, and dangers, as I see things. And I don't have the doctors on my side. They just want what they want and aren't worried about my ability to live within what they want. They have a good life, what the heck to they care? For them it is academic, for me it is very real. No, I know, they are just trying.
My mother called. I let her know that my plans to clean the place up before her arrival were sinking faster than my notions of going back to college. Not a problem, she suggested. We will see. She asked about the angiography. She was pleased to know that not only had I arranged it but that I have lodging arranged for our stay. I told her I couldn't necessarily find a room that allowed smoking, just to let her know up front and be forewarned, but she was fine with that too. She was hoping for a pool or sauna room or something. I think the place has that, but can't swear to it. When you look at a dozen places, details blur. She is set to arrive in about a week. I still hope to get some more work done, even if it's just trimming the edges. She will have to drive my 'rig', to familiarize herself with it, before she tries to do so in the traffic of SLC. She is actually a good driver, excellent, or was for most of my life and I see no reason for that to change (though I will ask that she turn off and not use her cell phone, that is the one thing she does that can be frightful and SLC traffic won't allow for it).
I had a visitor today. My word I have industrious neighbors. Anyway, he wanted to visit and discuss some things. This Saturday the first ward is having a... day of work contribution type day. They wanted to know if I would allow them to work on my yard. Well, I invited them in, and asked pardon for how my house looks. He said no problem, that his house might be messy at times (though I suspect that was just being nice). He had two of his young ones with him. We talked for a bit. I explained that I have been rather ill, and he sort of knew that from the last time he visited. But that time I didn't realize it was a heart issue, which changes much in minds, what is thought of an illness. He also asked if I would be interested in helping with data processing, but that it wouldn't be required, as they are putting information into a database. I suggested that is something I could do, and easily.
This man has six children, a huge garden, teaches fourth grade, and works another job or three, to make ends meet. Nothing like the harsh reality of real people to bring perspective, though I have little choice either. But letting people know that, if the medicine (which is brutal to take all by itself) doesn't work, that the doctors want to put you on a heart transplant recipient list (regardless that I wouldn't do that), makes a world of difference in their understanding of your condition. Mental issues? Not so much. Most people are half crazy with work, family, and religious fulfillment. But most of them aren't on death's door. No worry, though, I suggested. I don't think it'll kill me. It'll just slow me down a little more. *grins* I teased that the meds fulfilled the old saying about a chip on the shoulder. The illness being one chip, the meds being another chip, and that somehow a chip on both shoulders makes me BalanceD! Heh
He asked if I would be up a little later. And despite it being a long day, I said I would. At around 19:00 he brought over a bunch of garden items and fruits from their bushes! Berries are fruits, right? Potatoes, corn, berries, tomatoes, and such. So, yes, with a 'little work' you can have a fantastic garden hereabouts by the way! My word, it was like the best you can hope for from a farmers market! *sigh* And here I sit. The only thing of note that I do is, continue breathing... if that might actually be a trick at times. Still, it is depressing. Ah well, I'll deal with it. On noes! A third chip! Hmm, I'll root around for a fourth chip. In pairs it works.
Well, so it goes. Another day in the life. At least my humor stays. I'll probably be laughing while I'm dying, if it doesn't hurt too much or when I get past the pain. And, yeah, I like that idea. I probably came in laughing, if my mother didn't think it was all that funny. But then she didn't seem to have a problem putting me in there in the first place. *chuckles* 'Now where is my milk, woman!'
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Not too bad.
.
.
Speaking with the doctors, I knew they would try to argue me out of dropping as much as I wanted. And I let them. Of course, only on a temporary basis. If two weeks at their suggested intermediate step-down of dosage doesn't allow me to gain function, I will kick it down some more. My problem is that, as it cools, it is already going to be more difficult to step up, physically. Hikes are on my list of things to do, though, so the cool might be just fine. Actually, if I regain my weatherproof design, cold won't be a problem so long as there is no snow. The snow, here, when we get it, arrives in feet more than in inches. I don't currently have a means of being mobile in a deep snow. The only skis that are readily available for rental are either flat country cross country or downhill. One is boring as can be (or terrifying if you try downhill with them), the other doesn't seem like all that much exercise for the cost. Anyway, I will try their dosage for two weeks. Otherwise I will kick it down another notch and try, from their, to become more active again.
I found two restaurants I had wanted to sample. I had a meal at each. From what I can tell, so far, I would say they both stand up to their reputation. I had no problem finding them this time and I know why I couldn't find one of them last time I looked. Actually, both of them. One of them is on a side street, while the map sort of shows it on the main street nearby. You have to look up the side street (just a bit, but enough that it was by chance I saw it even this time and it's only visible coming one way (opposite of the way I came last time as well). The other place was not open to traffic across (over) the freeway the last time I was there. Both are now found and locked away. And, by the way, after I took all the time to write the instructions and draw my little map? I remembered it, in that I remembered where it was. I left it right where I wrote it. Maps, directions, and grocery lists all get remembered that way. But hey, without stopping to ask or fumbling at all, I found the places, and the book store.
Oh, finding the bookstore was not as difficult as it seemed. I thought, from the map, that it would be "right chere". Nope, it was in an outdoor sort of mall complex (sort of nifty, actually, like those ski resorts). Anyway, finding the bookstore once I got in wasn't the problem, it was figuring out where I could park that was sort of a pain. Done and done. I headed over to the mall map, figure out where I am, where the bookstore should me... nope... Ah, up. Two story affair. Right there, but now to figure out how to get to it. Stairs, escalator was closer though (if I disfavor those, I am running out of juice, so shorter trumps favoritism). On my way to the escalators though, I spot a chef store. NO! I have been avoiding such places. And it has been a long time since I spent a small fortune on anything. Ah well, my will was weak. I went in. Loverly place. Nothing I need, I kept reminding myself. But, maybe just a timer, so I can get in their system. I grab one. I just want to... look a little more. No! But, there it is, another specialty All-Clad piece, for braising meats more easily (domed lid, the whole thing in stainless, which is my kit). It is 40% off. NO! Ah well, it has been years since I shelled out on my hobby. So I grab it and head to the counter. Every woman in that store, and her children if she had them, thought the same thing and beat me to the punch. *grumble* *women* *grump* *kids* *grump* *luck* Bah! So, I get up there and the guy says, you know, we have a slightly larger one on sale for slight less. Oh? Yes, you have a 9", we have a 10", same domed, stainless, for $6 less. Alrighty then! So, I have a 10" skillet with a domed lid. *sigh* But, but, but...
I escaped with having not bought most of what I wanted, then headed to the book store. Barnes and Nobles it was. The place was huge. I tried to figure out this from that but had no clue. I tried to look lost but it took a while for the one floor lass to see me in distress and ask if I was as lost as I looked. Why yes, now that you mention it. I gave her a brief description of my need, of course, a book for dummies, solar power dummies to be specific. Ah, so she looked it up, and gave me a cue to follow. Not a difficult task, mind you. Just... sayin'. There it was, the only one in stock. The only book regarding solar power I could find. And, right beside it, "The Encyclopedia of Country Living". NO! How much have I spent on meals and at the cookery store? Letma see... There was, and, oh and the, plus tip, then the... Wait! I'm not a fucking accountant! What do I know. So I grabbed the book for dummies (I did notice a book for dummy accountants too... but... nah... then I couldn't do this stuff) and headed for the checkout. I paid and headed out. There I was with another All-Clad, a timer, the dummy book, and yes, the encyclopedia. *sigh* Hush. I'm not an accountant, not even a dummy one.
I thought about running back into town to deposit a check, get an oil change, and deposit my coins. I flipped a rigged coin, and of course, lost. I am bushed. Tomorrow, perhaps. If I wake similarly to how I woke today. Today I woke last night. Well, even close to that, say if I wake at 1:00, 3:00, even 5:00, I should be able to get into town and work on things. The missionaries are returning for a visit in the afternoon. I have read their pamphlet and have some questions. Something about a prophet to lead them, but... To my understanding, Christ was the last prophet. We may have individual prophecies, for us alone, but the prophetic age is over. Prophets will return, but it will not be new prophets, but Elijah and some of the others, near the end times, and then the greatest of prophets will return as King. Prophets, by the way, never lead. They were usually listened to in hard times, but when the threat was over, down a well, over a cliff, or death by stoning (or crucifixion for the greatest of them). Just some thoughts.
Well, it is probably about time for bed. A brief examination of the rest of your works and maybe some news. But, a stripping of all things hot, boots, socks, jeans, and turning on the fan in the bedroom to get the place chilling, then a read. Yeah! Oh yes. Be right back. Then later. Or, something like that. Again, hush!
.
Speaking with the doctors, I knew they would try to argue me out of dropping as much as I wanted. And I let them. Of course, only on a temporary basis. If two weeks at their suggested intermediate step-down of dosage doesn't allow me to gain function, I will kick it down some more. My problem is that, as it cools, it is already going to be more difficult to step up, physically. Hikes are on my list of things to do, though, so the cool might be just fine. Actually, if I regain my weatherproof design, cold won't be a problem so long as there is no snow. The snow, here, when we get it, arrives in feet more than in inches. I don't currently have a means of being mobile in a deep snow. The only skis that are readily available for rental are either flat country cross country or downhill. One is boring as can be (or terrifying if you try downhill with them), the other doesn't seem like all that much exercise for the cost. Anyway, I will try their dosage for two weeks. Otherwise I will kick it down another notch and try, from their, to become more active again.
I found two restaurants I had wanted to sample. I had a meal at each. From what I can tell, so far, I would say they both stand up to their reputation. I had no problem finding them this time and I know why I couldn't find one of them last time I looked. Actually, both of them. One of them is on a side street, while the map sort of shows it on the main street nearby. You have to look up the side street (just a bit, but enough that it was by chance I saw it even this time and it's only visible coming one way (opposite of the way I came last time as well). The other place was not open to traffic across (over) the freeway the last time I was there. Both are now found and locked away. And, by the way, after I took all the time to write the instructions and draw my little map? I remembered it, in that I remembered where it was. I left it right where I wrote it. Maps, directions, and grocery lists all get remembered that way. But hey, without stopping to ask or fumbling at all, I found the places, and the book store.
Oh, finding the bookstore was not as difficult as it seemed. I thought, from the map, that it would be "right chere". Nope, it was in an outdoor sort of mall complex (sort of nifty, actually, like those ski resorts). Anyway, finding the bookstore once I got in wasn't the problem, it was figuring out where I could park that was sort of a pain. Done and done. I headed over to the mall map, figure out where I am, where the bookstore should me... nope... Ah, up. Two story affair. Right there, but now to figure out how to get to it. Stairs, escalator was closer though (if I disfavor those, I am running out of juice, so shorter trumps favoritism). On my way to the escalators though, I spot a chef store. NO! I have been avoiding such places. And it has been a long time since I spent a small fortune on anything. Ah well, my will was weak. I went in. Loverly place. Nothing I need, I kept reminding myself. But, maybe just a timer, so I can get in their system. I grab one. I just want to... look a little more. No! But, there it is, another specialty All-Clad piece, for braising meats more easily (domed lid, the whole thing in stainless, which is my kit). It is 40% off. NO! Ah well, it has been years since I shelled out on my hobby. So I grab it and head to the counter. Every woman in that store, and her children if she had them, thought the same thing and beat me to the punch. *grumble* *women* *grump* *kids* *grump* *luck* Bah! So, I get up there and the guy says, you know, we have a slightly larger one on sale for slight less. Oh? Yes, you have a 9", we have a 10", same domed, stainless, for $6 less. Alrighty then! So, I have a 10" skillet with a domed lid. *sigh* But, but, but...
I escaped with having not bought most of what I wanted, then headed to the book store. Barnes and Nobles it was. The place was huge. I tried to figure out this from that but had no clue. I tried to look lost but it took a while for the one floor lass to see me in distress and ask if I was as lost as I looked. Why yes, now that you mention it. I gave her a brief description of my need, of course, a book for dummies, solar power dummies to be specific. Ah, so she looked it up, and gave me a cue to follow. Not a difficult task, mind you. Just... sayin'. There it was, the only one in stock. The only book regarding solar power I could find. And, right beside it, "The Encyclopedia of Country Living". NO! How much have I spent on meals and at the cookery store? Letma see... There was, and, oh and the, plus tip, then the... Wait! I'm not a fucking accountant! What do I know. So I grabbed the book for dummies (I did notice a book for dummy accountants too... but... nah... then I couldn't do this stuff) and headed for the checkout. I paid and headed out. There I was with another All-Clad, a timer, the dummy book, and yes, the encyclopedia. *sigh* Hush. I'm not an accountant, not even a dummy one.
I thought about running back into town to deposit a check, get an oil change, and deposit my coins. I flipped a rigged coin, and of course, lost. I am bushed. Tomorrow, perhaps. If I wake similarly to how I woke today. Today I woke last night. Well, even close to that, say if I wake at 1:00, 3:00, even 5:00, I should be able to get into town and work on things. The missionaries are returning for a visit in the afternoon. I have read their pamphlet and have some questions. Something about a prophet to lead them, but... To my understanding, Christ was the last prophet. We may have individual prophecies, for us alone, but the prophetic age is over. Prophets will return, but it will not be new prophets, but Elijah and some of the others, near the end times, and then the greatest of prophets will return as King. Prophets, by the way, never lead. They were usually listened to in hard times, but when the threat was over, down a well, over a cliff, or death by stoning (or crucifixion for the greatest of them). Just some thoughts.
Well, it is probably about time for bed. A brief examination of the rest of your works and maybe some news. But, a stripping of all things hot, boots, socks, jeans, and turning on the fan in the bedroom to get the place chilling, then a read. Yeah! Oh yes. Be right back. Then later. Or, something like that. Again, hush!
While looking around...
.
.
There are good and bad things about most states. And, while Utah has it's bad, it also has it's good. Not often will you find a construction that comes off like this.
Yes, you heard that right, a city/state construction project that was built ahead of schedule and underbudget, and yeah, that is expected now. But too, the construction wasn't just to "create and save jobs". It is a functionally well thought out infrastructure capital addition to a growing economy. Utah might not have the room to grow that Texas does, due to limits to how much of a population can be maintained. But for what she has she is putting her best foot forward, and it shows. Now, to work on some of the intense bureaucracy.
As soon as the government figures out that putting women to work is keeping them from marrying and having families, perhaps it will scale back that particular form of 'social welfare'. Yes, buildings full of women, unmarried, hired to do nothing work, is the same as foodstamps or EBT cards, boys and girls. Which might well lead to social changes where a woman will be less likely to go through college for some useless degree and figure out how to find a husband and help him get through. A few things like that begin, and a reshaping of America back to better days will occur. Dominoes, stepping stones, call them what you will. Though I suspect a number of issues will have to go forward all at once, and with some certainty about them and on into some significant future, for the family to again take shape. The family being the key and backbone to any real change, here or there, then or now. As the family goes, so goes the nation. As is, the family is in court with decidedly anti-family "judges" and laws that land them in front of the "judges", or under the gun of such. With half or less women working bureaucratic jobs, or even replaced by men? Bureaucracy will be broken. Good riddance!
I was looking for a particular restaurant, and how to get to it. I would like to take my mother here when we are staying there. I'm not sure I want to stand in a long line though. While I am in town, since it is near a bookstore I would like to visit, I am hoping to get in and try the food. While I have excellent taste in Mexican food, compared to the average, and know "home cooking" from canned, my mother is even more discriminating. If it isn't right, she will go ahead and finish her plate but she gets a "that's crap" look on her face. She was taught the way to do Mexican food without allowances for slack. She expects that from everyone else. We both love Mexican food, too. The problem is, a multicourse meal requires several sauces and production lines which makes it very difficult for one or even two people to really cook. I am hoping this place lives up to it's reputation.
While having my printer working would be nice, the truth is hand writing instructions, then drawing a little map to boot, puts the notion of where to go more positively into my brain. I have found though, that some map programs online are very bad at getting you where you want to go. Following their instructions, there are two places I have never found. I suppose I could call, but time has never been on my side. It is probably close to where the maps indicated, just not exactly there. I do what I can.
Have a good day. Time to shower and such and head out.
.
There are good and bad things about most states. And, while Utah has it's bad, it also has it's good. Not often will you find a construction that comes off like this.
Yes, you heard that right, a city/state construction project that was built ahead of schedule and underbudget, and yeah, that is expected now. But too, the construction wasn't just to "create and save jobs". It is a functionally well thought out infrastructure capital addition to a growing economy. Utah might not have the room to grow that Texas does, due to limits to how much of a population can be maintained. But for what she has she is putting her best foot forward, and it shows. Now, to work on some of the intense bureaucracy.
As soon as the government figures out that putting women to work is keeping them from marrying and having families, perhaps it will scale back that particular form of 'social welfare'. Yes, buildings full of women, unmarried, hired to do nothing work, is the same as foodstamps or EBT cards, boys and girls. Which might well lead to social changes where a woman will be less likely to go through college for some useless degree and figure out how to find a husband and help him get through. A few things like that begin, and a reshaping of America back to better days will occur. Dominoes, stepping stones, call them what you will. Though I suspect a number of issues will have to go forward all at once, and with some certainty about them and on into some significant future, for the family to again take shape. The family being the key and backbone to any real change, here or there, then or now. As the family goes, so goes the nation. As is, the family is in court with decidedly anti-family "judges" and laws that land them in front of the "judges", or under the gun of such. With half or less women working bureaucratic jobs, or even replaced by men? Bureaucracy will be broken. Good riddance!
I was looking for a particular restaurant, and how to get to it. I would like to take my mother here when we are staying there. I'm not sure I want to stand in a long line though. While I am in town, since it is near a bookstore I would like to visit, I am hoping to get in and try the food. While I have excellent taste in Mexican food, compared to the average, and know "home cooking" from canned, my mother is even more discriminating. If it isn't right, she will go ahead and finish her plate but she gets a "that's crap" look on her face. She was taught the way to do Mexican food without allowances for slack. She expects that from everyone else. We both love Mexican food, too. The problem is, a multicourse meal requires several sauces and production lines which makes it very difficult for one or even two people to really cook. I am hoping this place lives up to it's reputation.
While having my printer working would be nice, the truth is hand writing instructions, then drawing a little map to boot, puts the notion of where to go more positively into my brain. I have found though, that some map programs online are very bad at getting you where you want to go. Following their instructions, there are two places I have never found. I suppose I could call, but time has never been on my side. It is probably close to where the maps indicated, just not exactly there. I do what I can.
Have a good day. Time to shower and such and head out.
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