I woke at midnight, or so.

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Then promptly went right back to bed. I could have gotten up. But I wanted a bit more sleep to, recharge more or something like that. I will just miss medicine today, again. But I will set up my medicine container for the next two weeks today, at the new doses and start tomorrow. That might give me a chance to fight back through at these intermediate levels. Dangerous? Everything I do, at this point, has flaws, pitfalls, and dangers, as I see things. And I don't have the doctors on my side. They just want what they want and aren't worried about my ability to live within what they want. They have a good life, what the heck to they care? For them it is academic, for me it is very real. No, I know, they are just trying.

My mother called. I let her know that my plans to clean the place up before her arrival were sinking faster than my notions of going back to college. Not a problem, she suggested. We will see. She asked about the angiography. She was pleased to know that not only had I arranged it but that I have lodging arranged for our stay. I told her I couldn't necessarily find a room that allowed smoking, just to let her know up front and be forewarned, but she was fine with that too. She was hoping for a pool or sauna room or something. I think the place has that, but can't swear to it. When you look at a dozen places, details blur. She is set to arrive in about a week. I still hope to get some more work done, even if it's just trimming the edges. She will have to drive my 'rig', to familiarize herself with it, before she tries to do so in the traffic of SLC. She is actually a good driver, excellent, or was for most of my life and I see no reason for that to change (though I will ask that she turn off and not use her cell phone, that is the one thing she does that can be frightful and SLC traffic won't allow for it).

I had a visitor today. My word I have industrious neighbors. Anyway, he wanted to visit and discuss some things. This Saturday the first ward is having a... day of work contribution type day. They wanted to know if I would allow them to work on my yard. Well, I invited them in, and asked pardon for how my house looks. He said no problem, that his house might be messy at times (though I suspect that was just being nice). He had two of his young ones with him. We talked for a bit. I explained that I have been rather ill, and he sort of knew that from the last time he visited. But that time I didn't realize it was a heart issue, which changes much in minds, what is thought of an illness. He also asked if I would be interested in helping with data processing, but that it wouldn't be required, as they are putting information into a database. I suggested that is something I could do, and easily.

This man has six children, a huge garden, teaches fourth grade, and works another job or three, to make ends meet. Nothing like the harsh reality of real people to bring perspective, though I have little choice either. But letting people know that, if the medicine (which is brutal to take all by itself) doesn't work, that the doctors want to put you on a heart transplant recipient list (regardless that I wouldn't do that), makes a world of difference in their understanding of your condition. Mental issues? Not so much. Most people are half crazy with work, family, and religious fulfillment. But most of them aren't on death's door. No worry, though, I suggested. I don't think it'll kill me. It'll just slow me down a little more. *grins* I teased that the meds fulfilled the old saying about a chip on the shoulder. The illness being one chip, the meds being another chip, and that somehow a chip on both shoulders makes me BalanceD! Heh

He asked if I would be up a little later. And despite it being a long day, I said I would. At around 19:00 he brought over a bunch of garden items and fruits from their bushes! Berries are fruits, right? Potatoes, corn, berries, tomatoes, and such. So, yes, with a 'little work' you can have a fantastic garden hereabouts by the way! My word, it was like the best you can hope for from a farmers market! *sigh* And here I sit. The only thing of note that I do is, continue breathing... if that might actually be a trick at times. Still, it is depressing. Ah well, I'll deal with it. On noes! A third chip! Hmm, I'll root around for a fourth chip. In pairs it works.

Well, so it goes. Another day in the life. At least my humor stays. I'll probably be laughing while I'm dying, if it doesn't hurt too much or when I get past the pain. And, yeah, I like that idea. I probably came in laughing, if my mother didn't think it was all that funny. But then she didn't seem to have a problem putting me in there in the first place. *chuckles* 'Now where is my milk, woman!'