I figured it out.

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The reason my days and nights and sleep are becoming messed up is probably due to the increases in medicine. It makes me less able to be active, which makes it harder to sleep, which makes my days shift and twirl. And, perhaps, it makes me healthier so that even if I cannot function I do have the energy deep down inside. That keeps me awake. That is why they made the appointment for a month after this last increase. They thought I might bottom out and where hoping to give me some time before adding to the dosage. I hate to say it but I won't be ready for another increase. I know where that next step will take me.

I think I have hit the limits with medicine. The problem is, it is nowhere near where they want it to be in order to actually fix anything, if it can. But barring moving forward I may have to move backwards. If they can't figure something out, this is probably it. I will be discussing this next time. I don't have a wife to tend me. I don't have the capacity, as is, to tend myself. Something has to give. Ah well, I gave it a decent shot. The upshot is that on minimum doses I sure feel better. I might be dying faster, but I sure don't feel like it on low doses.

You can't say I didn't try.