.
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Pens became hundred pounders, saws wouldn't cut, hammers wouldn't nail, nails and screw bent or wouldn't bite, drills were all left handers. Nothing, I mean nothing, worked. And, yet, on I went. All day, several times through the day, many times through the day, I tried this, and that, and the next thing. Nothing worked, nothing at all. I didn't quit until I was so exhausted from it all that there wasn't a choice. Now, I did try to back off and restart, after battering myself for hours to no good use. I tried every trick I know. Some days, however, for whatever reason, the square peg becomes round but still looks square, and what is up is down. It is going to happen. To say I was frustrated would be a grave understatement. Still, I did what I could, if that wasn't much. I expended twice the energy of any day in the last two weeks, and I might say last three months, in one day... if to no serious step forward. Now, that is fine. It's going to happen. I think, just trying, was my work. Not giving up was the success. Sometimes that's it.
Today I start over. The hacksaw wouldn't cut this metal. The angle grinder would, but... Pro tip, don't try to angle grind in the house. Hey, it was the first time I had personally used such a device. No burning, no foul... live and learn... hush it. Archy sparky, if you don't know. I had forgotten that I bought steel cutting blades for the saws-all. Yeah, I'll get that piece cut. I have pilot holes drilled for the shelving brackets. I now have wood screws for those brackets. The 18v drill is charged, since the heavy duty drill is too much for that, I think. With either the angle grinder (if outside only), and the sawsall if it will do it and inside, I should be able to cut out any of the shelving necessary. If I can get the shelving torn down and put back up, vacuuming and steam cleaning shouldn't be an issue. I simply got hung up on that, hard. Would not relent, could not seem to win. Good spiritual exercise, if I was to guess... and I do.
Did I mention that it has been cloudy, raining, and cool for the last two weeks? I have been pushing right through having no sun. I mean, if I had to guess (and, again, I do) highs in the 40's-50's, and some days not even a hint of sun? No complaints, we really need the water. Some suggest Cali's drought is weather planners avoiding that to keep radioactivity out of the area. Not sure I'm buying, though I have suspected, for decades, that they have figured out how to... grease weather's palm. Not full blown control, and learning that doing this here will effect that there, so having to build a template, and choose winners and live with loosers... just a best guess, but... Anyway, not sure, so not sure rain is good. Is anyone testing it? I don't even know that. Paranoid much? Who, honestly, isn't. It's merely a matter of how large or small your circle of concern... Oh, the little sweet debutante suggest... not lil' ol' her? Oh, suggests I? Where was your bf last night? *shudders* Yeah, shush it, sister. I know what you fear. I used to bottle it. *wink* And don't even look at me funny, happily married mother. Even if your husband and you have checked his impulses, your children, home, finances, and the whole of reality weigh you down like an anchor, making just getting up, some days, a beast. We all have our... concerns.
Still in a bit of a snit. No one likes to pour that much juice into the canner and have it go bad. But today is a new day. And I'm still putting yesterday in the win category. A sucky win, but it goes to heart, it goes to push and pull, it goes to not surrender to high emotion. Nothing was shattered, no tools or equipment or people where destroyed out of sheer rage, I even tried to play nice, mostly... or civil I should say. And I kept at it, even changing things up to look for another way, many different ways. Anyway, today is... well... not yesterday.
Yeah, shelving, then vacuuming, then moving and more vacuuming, then figuring out how I want it for steam cleaning and then that. Oh... and having the plastic rug runners ready to lay out. A hike, medicines, coffee as that should be ready, some eggs and grapes or cherries. A new day, another chance, all good. Not sure what else. I would like to get going a bit more quickly today, but that's one of those things that is only partially in my hands. I really still am mostly dead. I'm just being bullheaded through it lately. I've got reasons to be, and those reasons probably won't change in my lifetime. Not now that I see them. Later.
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Nothing is working today.
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I decided to stick with just buying blades, and a few minor other things, today. When I go for the boat cover materials, I'll do that all by itself. I have drawn out plans, so I have an idea about joints and lengths, though I still need to measure the distance between d-rings and figure some minor things out that way. I made it to town, a bit later than I had hoped but there isn't a race about that. I found blades for a number of things, but no wood blades for the hacksaw and no wood cutting rounds for the angle grinder. Oh well. I'll check amazon for the bowsaw blades, might not be anything for the angle grinder and good? Don't know quite yet, but didn't sound promising.
I gave up searching for the larger level. The smaller worked, with a little improve. I bought longer screws, but they were Kreg, and pretty much useless potmetal, or just piss poor for whatever reason. I suppose I might have wood screws around that might work. I'll have to see. I'm charging one of the batteries for the cordless drill, to see if that is pansy enough for the Kregs. If not, I'll check my selection of wood screws, and make due with those. Bleh.
The lawn is getting mowed. The lad who does it stopped by to check if it would be good. He has this and another job this summer. It sucks to work young, but money is money. Having a little stashed away for when the world drops out from under you is a good plan. Hopefully he will find a trade, and get into that rather than waste money on college. A few years of work, if he decides to go for a lazy job and college, if he goes into the right degree rout that is, will have him ready to focus and learn. Going straight to college is foolishness. With a 15% delinquency on student loans, don't even suggest that it's just in my opinion. What is 15% on a trillion dollars, by the way? Yeah, and that is the commonly used number, from years ago. Ten to one that hasn't improved, or even stayed the same.
Yeah, gonna just tinker until the battery is charged, to see if that drill does any better. Oh, that mean... comes and goes. But it's arriving more, staying longer. It's just the way of it when I brush off the civil. Nothing but wires, bone, teeth, and gnarliness. It'll do. It won't be getting better. On that note, I finally ended my contract with the gym. Tired of getting my gas stolen and paying for nothing. Later.
.
I decided to stick with just buying blades, and a few minor other things, today. When I go for the boat cover materials, I'll do that all by itself. I have drawn out plans, so I have an idea about joints and lengths, though I still need to measure the distance between d-rings and figure some minor things out that way. I made it to town, a bit later than I had hoped but there isn't a race about that. I found blades for a number of things, but no wood blades for the hacksaw and no wood cutting rounds for the angle grinder. Oh well. I'll check amazon for the bowsaw blades, might not be anything for the angle grinder and good? Don't know quite yet, but didn't sound promising.
I gave up searching for the larger level. The smaller worked, with a little improve. I bought longer screws, but they were Kreg, and pretty much useless potmetal, or just piss poor for whatever reason. I suppose I might have wood screws around that might work. I'll have to see. I'm charging one of the batteries for the cordless drill, to see if that is pansy enough for the Kregs. If not, I'll check my selection of wood screws, and make due with those. Bleh.
The lawn is getting mowed. The lad who does it stopped by to check if it would be good. He has this and another job this summer. It sucks to work young, but money is money. Having a little stashed away for when the world drops out from under you is a good plan. Hopefully he will find a trade, and get into that rather than waste money on college. A few years of work, if he decides to go for a lazy job and college, if he goes into the right degree rout that is, will have him ready to focus and learn. Going straight to college is foolishness. With a 15% delinquency on student loans, don't even suggest that it's just in my opinion. What is 15% on a trillion dollars, by the way? Yeah, and that is the commonly used number, from years ago. Ten to one that hasn't improved, or even stayed the same.
Yeah, gonna just tinker until the battery is charged, to see if that drill does any better. Oh, that mean... comes and goes. But it's arriving more, staying longer. It's just the way of it when I brush off the civil. Nothing but wires, bone, teeth, and gnarliness. It'll do. It won't be getting better. On that note, I finally ended my contract with the gym. Tired of getting my gas stolen and paying for nothing. Later.
Hmm... I'm sort of about to get to it again.
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.
Beaten up, but that's the way it goes. I found my saws-all, and it did have a metal cutting blade. Either those are worthless, I was using it incorrectly, or the metal was a bit more than what it seemed. While I was able to make the cuts, the blade is toast. And I had to use it broken in order to finish. Hey, half a blade is better than... well... maybe not. But I got the job done without losing a finger, eye, or gaining a scar for my collection. I'm going to attempt to put up the shelving when I am done. I will still be going to town to get blades for several of my devices. I'll skip metal saws-all blades. The angle grinder and hacksaw will work. Was not impressed with the saws-all. Oh, it's a good one. Just not good at this sort of work. I guess?
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Beaten up, but that's the way it goes. I found my saws-all, and it did have a metal cutting blade. Either those are worthless, I was using it incorrectly, or the metal was a bit more than what it seemed. While I was able to make the cuts, the blade is toast. And I had to use it broken in order to finish. Hey, half a blade is better than... well... maybe not. But I got the job done without losing a finger, eye, or gaining a scar for my collection. I'm going to attempt to put up the shelving when I am done. I will still be going to town to get blades for several of my devices. I'll skip metal saws-all blades. The angle grinder and hacksaw will work. Was not impressed with the saws-all. Oh, it's a good one. Just not good at this sort of work. I guess?
Just more fuzzy math.
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While taking a short break, which I deserve because I never really woke up and started working anyway so hush, I was thinking about the numbers for my blog.
Officially, so far this month, I have had 1,050 pageviews. No, not impressive, trust me. Just follow along class. Now, I have had two people comment. Officially, I have had five sources of visitors. So, officially, each of those five visitors have visited 210 pages in the last (I count it as 19) 19 days, so ~11 pageviews per day each. Which strain credulity, but... fine. Now, neither of the two who commented showed up as having visited. About a quarter to a third of my visitors are of a foreign nature... Russia is in the lead by a large number, then I have weekly visitors from... many of the more common nations... Franch, Spain, Germany... you know. Once in a very rare moment I see something from the Middle East, where US troops are stationed. I am sure .mil has banned me by now, but there is a way through if you know how to tickle, or have the keys... or are... somewhat independent. Just... odd. Some of my notions show up in the oddest places though. Some of the things are nearly verbatim. Others are... close enough to recognize. My stuff is odd enough that it is noticed.
I rarely bother with heavy lifting. I see something, I merely point it out and move on. Others are into doing the calc, stats, probability, tying the links, making the case. And they do. Not on everything I write, but... I first thought the notion of being read at all, beyond what I thought, was simply nonsense. Then I started seeing signs, and then proof... enough for me to become a believer, that I was locally read. But I keep bumping into signs suggesting that it is larger than even that. I didn't say I was in agreement, or agreed with. But, sometimes, when for those who seek find, do the work and it matches, I think I am having some small influence out there, in the real world. Still somewhat agnostic about that, but it's... starting to make me wonder... what I am seeing.
I do know, because of what and how I write, those who visit keep a very low profile. I can't track them with anything I have tried. I am beginning to think some of my stuff is sent to a dark feed, and consumed offgrid. Yeah, I don't know tech, but I do know some things. What is tech today was flesh not long ago, and thoughts before even flesh. Don't worry about what that means, other than that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Besides, I do see in the dark, I just don't always wish to believe what I am seeing. I'll keep looking for the evidence. It's out there, one way or the other. Just like this blog... seems like digital letters and numbers collated into ideas. It's not. It's an impression of a being the likes of which most don't believe exist, possibly, but want to, maybe. If you can put the dots together, you see... much more than words, thoughts, faith... you see Doom, or War if you wish. It's... always as you wish, little ones.
You kids crack me up. Later.
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While taking a short break, which I deserve because I never really woke up and started working anyway so hush, I was thinking about the numbers for my blog.
Officially, so far this month, I have had 1,050 pageviews. No, not impressive, trust me. Just follow along class. Now, I have had two people comment. Officially, I have had five sources of visitors. So, officially, each of those five visitors have visited 210 pages in the last (I count it as 19) 19 days, so ~11 pageviews per day each. Which strain credulity, but... fine. Now, neither of the two who commented showed up as having visited. About a quarter to a third of my visitors are of a foreign nature... Russia is in the lead by a large number, then I have weekly visitors from... many of the more common nations... Franch, Spain, Germany... you know. Once in a very rare moment I see something from the Middle East, where US troops are stationed. I am sure .mil has banned me by now, but there is a way through if you know how to tickle, or have the keys... or are... somewhat independent. Just... odd. Some of my notions show up in the oddest places though. Some of the things are nearly verbatim. Others are... close enough to recognize. My stuff is odd enough that it is noticed.
I rarely bother with heavy lifting. I see something, I merely point it out and move on. Others are into doing the calc, stats, probability, tying the links, making the case. And they do. Not on everything I write, but... I first thought the notion of being read at all, beyond what I thought, was simply nonsense. Then I started seeing signs, and then proof... enough for me to become a believer, that I was locally read. But I keep bumping into signs suggesting that it is larger than even that. I didn't say I was in agreement, or agreed with. But, sometimes, when for those who seek find, do the work and it matches, I think I am having some small influence out there, in the real world. Still somewhat agnostic about that, but it's... starting to make me wonder... what I am seeing.
I do know, because of what and how I write, those who visit keep a very low profile. I can't track them with anything I have tried. I am beginning to think some of my stuff is sent to a dark feed, and consumed offgrid. Yeah, I don't know tech, but I do know some things. What is tech today was flesh not long ago, and thoughts before even flesh. Don't worry about what that means, other than that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Besides, I do see in the dark, I just don't always wish to believe what I am seeing. I'll keep looking for the evidence. It's out there, one way or the other. Just like this blog... seems like digital letters and numbers collated into ideas. It's not. It's an impression of a being the likes of which most don't believe exist, possibly, but want to, maybe. If you can put the dots together, you see... much more than words, thoughts, faith... you see Doom, or War if you wish. It's... always as you wish, little ones.
You kids crack me up. Later.
Today already?
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Man, I burned out yesterday. After that last post, I went to find something to cut the shelving lattice so as to put up shelving. I have a circular saw (too big, but if I had the blade I would have used it), an angle grinder, several hacksaws, and a dremel. The only one for which I had a blade for light metal work, after much searching, before and after a realization, was the angle grinder. So, I get out the blade, attempt to fit it. Yeah, okay, that wasn't going to work. Wrong size. Damned merchants packaged it, and I didn't check right away. More search and... nothing. Can't even find wood blades for the hacksaw! So, first thing, urhm... after I wake... I'll go to town and buy some blades. Actually, I'll be buying blades for all of my tools, of each kind... wood rough and finish, and then light metal. Bleh.
After two hours of rummaging through every drawer, cabinet, and container that might contain blades of various sorts, I was done. So, I took my medicine and went to bed. I have no idea what time that was. And two hours is a guess on the search time... might have been forty five minutes, might have been three hours. Time gets wonky as I head into oblivion. At least I remembered to take my medicine. Oh, something else to not, when I push it, even now after the weekend off, I begin coughing lungs up again. I suspect I am just going to have to push through that. As I said, I don't quit or even slow down when that begins. I've got things to do. I crashed because I hit three, maybe four walls depending on how you count things, all at once, and was too tired to aim at another wall. All good.
Yes, blades, first thing. Then on to getting the shelving up, ripping out the old floor shelf that I'll be dismantling for my needs and removing it, then to doing any final work in the living room before vacuuming, then steam cleaning what I can. Hmm, since the stores don't open until 10:00, I'll find the clear plastic runners so as to have a way to walk around the living room without messing with the carpet until it dries.
Dang it! I forgot about the saws-all. It might have a blade for light metals! Gah! Still, I want to have blades for each device, so I'll be going in anyway. I'll check the saws-all and see if there is a blade. I might be able to get the bracket mount cut and fitted before going to town. Oh, and... no... I didn't hit the bench last night. That's on my list for today. I also want to sweep the kitchen and side areas again. While I was at the hardware store, I some some inexpensive dirt/dust trap door mats and bought three. Two for in back, in a row, as that is the main door I use, but one for the front door. It might help, probably won't hurt, but was cheap enough (~$10 for all three) that a total loss was worth the risk.
Ugh. I am sore today. I know I pushed. As mild as what I am doing is, it is hell for me. While vitals don't seem to be improving, strength, speed, and stamina improvements, for now, trump all that. And, being exhausted, but still functioning, much of the time, also goes to show, in the positive. If I don't die, and can keep even the pace I am on, two years will see me fit to survive, if I still won't be able to control my schedule well enough to work... not a regular job, not even an irregular one. But... survival... that I will be able to achieve. Yeah, I know my limits. On the good side, even if they decide to cut me off, I will be able to survive away from mankind.
.
Man, I burned out yesterday. After that last post, I went to find something to cut the shelving lattice so as to put up shelving. I have a circular saw (too big, but if I had the blade I would have used it), an angle grinder, several hacksaws, and a dremel. The only one for which I had a blade for light metal work, after much searching, before and after a realization, was the angle grinder. So, I get out the blade, attempt to fit it. Yeah, okay, that wasn't going to work. Wrong size. Damned merchants packaged it, and I didn't check right away. More search and... nothing. Can't even find wood blades for the hacksaw! So, first thing, urhm... after I wake... I'll go to town and buy some blades. Actually, I'll be buying blades for all of my tools, of each kind... wood rough and finish, and then light metal. Bleh.
After two hours of rummaging through every drawer, cabinet, and container that might contain blades of various sorts, I was done. So, I took my medicine and went to bed. I have no idea what time that was. And two hours is a guess on the search time... might have been forty five minutes, might have been three hours. Time gets wonky as I head into oblivion. At least I remembered to take my medicine. Oh, something else to not, when I push it, even now after the weekend off, I begin coughing lungs up again. I suspect I am just going to have to push through that. As I said, I don't quit or even slow down when that begins. I've got things to do. I crashed because I hit three, maybe four walls depending on how you count things, all at once, and was too tired to aim at another wall. All good.
Yes, blades, first thing. Then on to getting the shelving up, ripping out the old floor shelf that I'll be dismantling for my needs and removing it, then to doing any final work in the living room before vacuuming, then steam cleaning what I can. Hmm, since the stores don't open until 10:00, I'll find the clear plastic runners so as to have a way to walk around the living room without messing with the carpet until it dries.
Dang it! I forgot about the saws-all. It might have a blade for light metals! Gah! Still, I want to have blades for each device, so I'll be going in anyway. I'll check the saws-all and see if there is a blade. I might be able to get the bracket mount cut and fitted before going to town. Oh, and... no... I didn't hit the bench last night. That's on my list for today. I also want to sweep the kitchen and side areas again. While I was at the hardware store, I some some inexpensive dirt/dust trap door mats and bought three. Two for in back, in a row, as that is the main door I use, but one for the front door. It might help, probably won't hurt, but was cheap enough (~$10 for all three) that a total loss was worth the risk.
Ugh. I am sore today. I know I pushed. As mild as what I am doing is, it is hell for me. While vitals don't seem to be improving, strength, speed, and stamina improvements, for now, trump all that. And, being exhausted, but still functioning, much of the time, also goes to show, in the positive. If I don't die, and can keep even the pace I am on, two years will see me fit to survive, if I still won't be able to control my schedule well enough to work... not a regular job, not even an irregular one. But... survival... that I will be able to achieve. Yeah, I know my limits. On the good side, even if they decide to cut me off, I will be able to survive away from mankind.
Monday, May 18, 2015
Woot! They are on the way!
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It took a while. And I didn't pester her. I knew she was a busy lass. She emailed me today, to let me know that they are completed, and in the mail. Oh, what? My shirts, silly!
I ordered two. If she is true to actual measured size, one should fit. Though I am not sure if these types of shirts are made loose on purpose, by design, or not. I don't like them too loose, not my gig. I figure, if one doesn't fit, I can sell it. I'll just have to see. No, I won't sell for more, just look for a guy who wants one at price, and shipping. All good. Though, if they both mostly fit, I'll keep them, use whichever works for whatever I am doing. Excited! Wear it in the next time I buy java. I know they'll love it!
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It took a while. And I didn't pester her. I knew she was a busy lass. She emailed me today, to let me know that they are completed, and in the mail. Oh, what? My shirts, silly!
The hike.
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Good, bad, ugly. All three in it. The bad is that I was only on the trail for about an half hour. I had hoped to do a two hour run today. It wasn't the rain, or wind, both of which came and went though lightly. It was when I got to a point, and right above my head, not a thousand feet, thunder clapped loudly enough for me to... well... take notice. All I could think was... I AM awake now... if I hadn't been before? Well, there is awake and then there is AWAKE. Yeah, so, I called it and headed back. Actually, that is the ugly and the bad. The good? The first time I did that path, I made it, barely, half to three quarters the distance I made it today. The second time on the path I nearly made it the same distance, only stopping to rest in the shaded area. It was rather sunny that last time. What is good about that? Well, both of those hikes took between an hour and an half and two hours. This time I made the distance in about fifteen minutes. No sit breaks, though I stopped for water twice on the way up and then when I got there, none on the way back. It took about ten minutes to return. I probably spend a minute at my stop point. I figure it is probably a mile up and back, a two mile hike is what I did.
Yes, I know that is still gimp. It is what I have, where I am, what I am starting with. I can't change that. But the improvement is... remarkable. Yes, there is a mild incline up. Not huge, but sometimes a bit of a hump. And, yes, I had my pack and water with me. So, it is all apples to apples. It was much cooler, being overcast and slightly wet. That might be a part of it, but certainly not all of it. Yeah, I am improving. I have a very long way to go. One step at a time. I am hoping, by this fall, to begin 50 yard windsprints. If I can keep some of it going, by spring doing 100 yard sprints. I won't ever do the 440, definitely not the 880 again, but shorter sprints I might be able to do. A set of ten, and that will be that. Timed, so I can see if I am improving. But... not yet. Fall, maybe.
Oh, I won't be taking the Christmas lights down today. Too wet, with an outlook of more wet at any moment. But I will dig back into the living room, at least a bit. I did buy some bits that might allow me to create a shelf. I'd like to do that first thing. If it works out, I can remove the junk floor-based shelving, or the rest of it, and then move everything for vacuuming. I am still hoping to lift weights tonight, though no promises. When I finish up, a shower would be good, maybe a bath too if I can work that in. That would allow me to just tinker tomorrow.
I am actually starting to feel like doing something, if my body is now starting to want to find an good point to wrap things up. You know how it goes. I'll see what else I can do. I didn't take a nap, so wouldn't mind doing that if need be, and then just working whenever I get back up. My friend called. I told him I'd be in town about 16:00, if he wanted to get out. He did. But when I called him, after finishing early for the above reasons, he was already out. All good, one to three fewer thing for me to do. Well... back to it. Nah, a bit of a break, and something cold to drink. Ugh.
.
Good, bad, ugly. All three in it. The bad is that I was only on the trail for about an half hour. I had hoped to do a two hour run today. It wasn't the rain, or wind, both of which came and went though lightly. It was when I got to a point, and right above my head, not a thousand feet, thunder clapped loudly enough for me to... well... take notice. All I could think was... I AM awake now... if I hadn't been before? Well, there is awake and then there is AWAKE. Yeah, so, I called it and headed back. Actually, that is the ugly and the bad. The good? The first time I did that path, I made it, barely, half to three quarters the distance I made it today. The second time on the path I nearly made it the same distance, only stopping to rest in the shaded area. It was rather sunny that last time. What is good about that? Well, both of those hikes took between an hour and an half and two hours. This time I made the distance in about fifteen minutes. No sit breaks, though I stopped for water twice on the way up and then when I got there, none on the way back. It took about ten minutes to return. I probably spend a minute at my stop point. I figure it is probably a mile up and back, a two mile hike is what I did.
Yes, I know that is still gimp. It is what I have, where I am, what I am starting with. I can't change that. But the improvement is... remarkable. Yes, there is a mild incline up. Not huge, but sometimes a bit of a hump. And, yes, I had my pack and water with me. So, it is all apples to apples. It was much cooler, being overcast and slightly wet. That might be a part of it, but certainly not all of it. Yeah, I am improving. I have a very long way to go. One step at a time. I am hoping, by this fall, to begin 50 yard windsprints. If I can keep some of it going, by spring doing 100 yard sprints. I won't ever do the 440, definitely not the 880 again, but shorter sprints I might be able to do. A set of ten, and that will be that. Timed, so I can see if I am improving. But... not yet. Fall, maybe.
Oh, I won't be taking the Christmas lights down today. Too wet, with an outlook of more wet at any moment. But I will dig back into the living room, at least a bit. I did buy some bits that might allow me to create a shelf. I'd like to do that first thing. If it works out, I can remove the junk floor-based shelving, or the rest of it, and then move everything for vacuuming. I am still hoping to lift weights tonight, though no promises. When I finish up, a shower would be good, maybe a bath too if I can work that in. That would allow me to just tinker tomorrow.
I am actually starting to feel like doing something, if my body is now starting to want to find an good point to wrap things up. You know how it goes. I'll see what else I can do. I didn't take a nap, so wouldn't mind doing that if need be, and then just working whenever I get back up. My friend called. I told him I'd be in town about 16:00, if he wanted to get out. He did. But when I called him, after finishing early for the above reasons, he was already out. All good, one to three fewer thing for me to do. Well... back to it. Nah, a bit of a break, and something cold to drink. Ugh.
Moving right along.
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.
I honestly thought just sorting was going to take the whole day. It wasn't as bad as I thought, once I put to it. Oh, no mistakes, the work ate my morning. And it isn't done. I'll be dusting and sorting when I decide where to put the stuff, eventually. I cleared all surfaces, save the television stuff. Hmm, doubt if my mother will ever be out here again, so I can probably just take the cable box back. It's only $5 a month, or so they say, never have looked to see if there are additional taxes, fees, and all else. In any case, one of these next times I am in town I will return it. But, for now, the bluray and game console will stay. When I finish cleaning in there, I will probably try to work out how to put in wall-mounted shelves to keep what is staying off the floor, and easier to dust. I only need one shelf, but two would be nice... just in case. At eye level, it might even get dusted from time to time.
I have moved everything but the television related shelf out of the room, that can be moved. I could figure out how to get the couch and loveseat out, but I think I'll skip it. Strength and coordination aren't the problems, it is more that I have nowhere to put them, certainly not for the several days it will take to dry Pus, I don't actually have to lose the room completely if I keep them there, just move them out far enough from the walls that I can vacuum and steam clean behind them, then when I put them back just have a small strip where they had been setting to finish. Hmm... I would vacuum, but I might be tinkering with the entertainment shelving, lifting some, removing the rest. I'll take a look, see if I can just get brackets, and go that way... buying anything on need while in town for the hike. No other shopping today, so might as well. I might have to drill some holes in the shelving frames, if they can be extricated otherwise, but that's not a problem. Even if they technically aren't separable, I do have a saws-all. Might as well get it right while I am at it.
I had fewer work sessions, but they were longer. All good, as long as I am really hitting it. I really have no idea how long everything will take. And I want to take down the last of the Christmas lights, and lift weights yet this evening. It is going well enough, time will just take care of itself. I still don't feel like working, definitely not hiking, but that's just the way it goes. I'm going. Just going to get my pack and pants on, a hat just in case that sneaky bastard of a sun comes out, a rain coat if the weather does what it looks to be getting ready to do... oh, and I'll look at the shelving, and check the studs in several places, then take off. Later.
.
I honestly thought just sorting was going to take the whole day. It wasn't as bad as I thought, once I put to it. Oh, no mistakes, the work ate my morning. And it isn't done. I'll be dusting and sorting when I decide where to put the stuff, eventually. I cleared all surfaces, save the television stuff. Hmm, doubt if my mother will ever be out here again, so I can probably just take the cable box back. It's only $5 a month, or so they say, never have looked to see if there are additional taxes, fees, and all else. In any case, one of these next times I am in town I will return it. But, for now, the bluray and game console will stay. When I finish cleaning in there, I will probably try to work out how to put in wall-mounted shelves to keep what is staying off the floor, and easier to dust. I only need one shelf, but two would be nice... just in case. At eye level, it might even get dusted from time to time.
I have moved everything but the television related shelf out of the room, that can be moved. I could figure out how to get the couch and loveseat out, but I think I'll skip it. Strength and coordination aren't the problems, it is more that I have nowhere to put them, certainly not for the several days it will take to dry Pus, I don't actually have to lose the room completely if I keep them there, just move them out far enough from the walls that I can vacuum and steam clean behind them, then when I put them back just have a small strip where they had been setting to finish. Hmm... I would vacuum, but I might be tinkering with the entertainment shelving, lifting some, removing the rest. I'll take a look, see if I can just get brackets, and go that way... buying anything on need while in town for the hike. No other shopping today, so might as well. I might have to drill some holes in the shelving frames, if they can be extricated otherwise, but that's not a problem. Even if they technically aren't separable, I do have a saws-all. Might as well get it right while I am at it.
I had fewer work sessions, but they were longer. All good, as long as I am really hitting it. I really have no idea how long everything will take. And I want to take down the last of the Christmas lights, and lift weights yet this evening. It is going well enough, time will just take care of itself. I still don't feel like working, definitely not hiking, but that's just the way it goes. I'm going. Just going to get my pack and pants on, a hat just in case that sneaky bastard of a sun comes out, a rain coat if the weather does what it looks to be getting ready to do... oh, and I'll look at the shelving, and check the studs in several places, then take off. Later.
I hate this first part.
.
.
After about 9:30, I got to it. Clearing the plane spaces, sorting, tossing. It seems easy, and muscle energy wise, it is. It isn't my area though, and so is exhausting. Books here, old receipts in the trash, papers to be looked through there, figuring out what goes where, and where works best for what. It's almost a purely intellectual exercise, a particular type that I hate. I hate it when it comes to my stuff anyway. I love to look for patterns and then flesh those out, work them into their natural way, and enhance them along natural lines. Just not with my stuff, or in this sort of way... whatever that means.
Books, CD's, games, movies, mementos too keep or throw and going through the memories from some of them. I have cleared off all but two areas. And, yes, tossed or put what was removed into medium storage boxes. No organizing within those. Even the tools I took back to the tool area are just on top of the tool boxes themselves. I won't double down on organization until I clear the area, clean it, and maybe while putting things back or away somewhere else. Doubling down, in this area, just won't work. I am hoping to have everything sorted to be heading out by 13:30. It's overcast, could rain or clear off, for all I know. No matter, the goal is to be out.
I honestly don't feel like working today. My mojo is gone. I have been left cold, deserted, weak, and feeling foolish for having promised. That also doesn't matter. I will continue anyway. I don't know how fast or far, but I will do what I proposed, and might even add weight lifting. It's not about doing what I like, when I want, it's about getting the f'ing job done. Dragging ass just means it'll take longer, or I'll have to stew in failure. Get it DONE. And, so, I will. And with all due speed, plus, plus, and maybe some more. I don't have to like it. If I vomit in my mouth, I still have some energy and time. This isn't play time, it's the beginning of go time.
I'll skip a nap and shower, no time. But I won't be stopping anywhere, save maybe for a roast beef sandwich and tea, after the hike. Hey, carrots and whips, you know. And it does work. Hmm, maybe a small bowl of cherries right before starting in again. Oh, I find that adding dairy to my coffee has been, at least at this point, a partial cause of my coughing. It creates too much more flem. So, I'm going black only, not even any artificial sweetener. My coughing has abated. The want remains, but the need is gone. Perhaps, after I have worked to a better physique, I can go back to cream. Perhaps, at that point, I will be beyond it. I, personally, like the added protein, vitamin d, and fats, administered this way. At least I have backed off the itch to cough a bit. My stomach muscles were becoming brutally sore. Yeah, I'll do what it takes. Can't quit coffee altogether. Not now anyway. Maybe in the future, but just not now. Can't give it all up.
.
After about 9:30, I got to it. Clearing the plane spaces, sorting, tossing. It seems easy, and muscle energy wise, it is. It isn't my area though, and so is exhausting. Books here, old receipts in the trash, papers to be looked through there, figuring out what goes where, and where works best for what. It's almost a purely intellectual exercise, a particular type that I hate. I hate it when it comes to my stuff anyway. I love to look for patterns and then flesh those out, work them into their natural way, and enhance them along natural lines. Just not with my stuff, or in this sort of way... whatever that means.
Books, CD's, games, movies, mementos too keep or throw and going through the memories from some of them. I have cleared off all but two areas. And, yes, tossed or put what was removed into medium storage boxes. No organizing within those. Even the tools I took back to the tool area are just on top of the tool boxes themselves. I won't double down on organization until I clear the area, clean it, and maybe while putting things back or away somewhere else. Doubling down, in this area, just won't work. I am hoping to have everything sorted to be heading out by 13:30. It's overcast, could rain or clear off, for all I know. No matter, the goal is to be out.
I honestly don't feel like working today. My mojo is gone. I have been left cold, deserted, weak, and feeling foolish for having promised. That also doesn't matter. I will continue anyway. I don't know how fast or far, but I will do what I proposed, and might even add weight lifting. It's not about doing what I like, when I want, it's about getting the f'ing job done. Dragging ass just means it'll take longer, or I'll have to stew in failure. Get it DONE. And, so, I will. And with all due speed, plus, plus, and maybe some more. I don't have to like it. If I vomit in my mouth, I still have some energy and time. This isn't play time, it's the beginning of go time.
I'll skip a nap and shower, no time. But I won't be stopping anywhere, save maybe for a roast beef sandwich and tea, after the hike. Hey, carrots and whips, you know. And it does work. Hmm, maybe a small bowl of cherries right before starting in again. Oh, I find that adding dairy to my coffee has been, at least at this point, a partial cause of my coughing. It creates too much more flem. So, I'm going black only, not even any artificial sweetener. My coughing has abated. The want remains, but the need is gone. Perhaps, after I have worked to a better physique, I can go back to cream. Perhaps, at that point, I will be beyond it. I, personally, like the added protein, vitamin d, and fats, administered this way. At least I have backed off the itch to cough a bit. My stomach muscles were becoming brutally sore. Yeah, I'll do what it takes. Can't quit coffee altogether. Not now anyway. Maybe in the future, but just not now. Can't give it all up.
Good morning.
.
.
I need practice just going to bed. I don't think it took too much longer to get to bed than planned. But little things kept me going for a while. I don't even remember what. Now, I don't mind making sure little tasks are totally finished, or at least hitched for the night for an easy start when I get up. Those are good things, both useful and they help in gearing down at times. What I need to learn to avoid is little task just on their own. Though they can be useful if there is still energy that needs to go, or to give a sense that life is just a bit more sound, or other things. But they can also lead to insomnia if I am not careful. I'm not always sure if such are a symptom, or a cause, though I suspect they can be a bit of both. All I am saying is that I need to watch those things, check mate them if they are becoming a bother.
As I said, I got to bed early enough anyway. I slept quite well. Some very hard dark dream, and a couple of pleasant dreams, as you might see them. I need the dark with the light, bittersweet being my norm. I am trying to give up vivid dreaming. It's just not something that, at this point, is necessary. I did it for a very long time, but in order to fix something I was told was broken. I have come to realized I was told lies. Those dreams simply are real, memories. They can't be changed, at least. The most I could do was look around in those dreams a bit more, find details. I never have been able to change the nature or outcome in them. I... prefer the lies. Nor have I been able to find proof in them. Then again, many who told those lies believed them, or, like me, really wanted to believe the lies. No evidence, on paper. Not that they are my truths, perhaps there is still other ways out of them. But not this way. I am not sure it is that easy to give that up, but non-conscious use has helped.
Breakfast, already. Coffee is brewing. I already cleaned up from breakfast, and while grinding coffee, since the counter is clean, cleaned up a small spill of grinds and a few coffee drips from recent days. Keeping up on the small stuff is part of the goal, making the bigger cleaning much easier when that is due. Fewer layers to dig down through. In a way, it might be less efficient. Save that when the job gets to a certain point, it can be almost overwhelming, just figuring out where to start become a trick otherwise. Well, and it is really good to live in a neat and clean environment. Medicine have been taken, and have been right on track as well. Oh, I will continue with what I have until it is gone, regarding supplements. Some of it will not be coming back. I really haven't had any noticeable improvement from any of it. Oh, sure, the old ones will stay, and daily vitamins. As to the over-the-counter heart medicine, I bought enough to last a while, and one of them is at a lower dose and I have more at a higher dose, so I will continue with those. If no real improvement occurs on the supplemental heart stuff, I will quit those when I am out. I may check my bp this morning, or not. Thinking on it though. Oh, and I am hoping to get the last of the Christmas lights down today as well. I'll feel better with that completed.
Today is all things living room. Mostly a soft start, just boxing books, tossing junk, dusting and cleaning surfaces as I go. If I get through that quickly enough, on to moving furniture and vacuuming. I am hoping to wake quickly enough to push for a nap then hike, or just on to a hike, if I can, this afternoon. Hopefully it stays cloudy, I don't mind the rain either. I just don't care much for the heat. Heat will always make getting out a struggle. If I can knock out both a good two hour, at least, hike, plus do weights, then tomorrow will be even lighter. Still a work day, but just that. That is why I would like to push for both types of exercise in one day... gives me more of a rest between. Or a chance to add in a bit more, if say I get enough done tomorrow, to throw a little hike in there. Perhaps around the lake at the lower dam, or around the lake north of town, or along the bank of the river to the south... just to see what is out there, and get some air, you know?
It's going well. I'll make it through for a good while, I think. The right foods, medicines on target, exercise going forward, the cave getting put in order, and then being worked on and cleared of excesses, while gear is being purchased and organized. Plus, I am learning and practicing new things, from braiding my own hair, to minifacturing items, to... who knows. I'm still gimping it, but I am on the path that will lead to the dirt road, which will even lead, eventually, to the super highway leading to where I need to be. The clock is, once again, ticking. But first, today, I have to wake.
.
I need practice just going to bed. I don't think it took too much longer to get to bed than planned. But little things kept me going for a while. I don't even remember what. Now, I don't mind making sure little tasks are totally finished, or at least hitched for the night for an easy start when I get up. Those are good things, both useful and they help in gearing down at times. What I need to learn to avoid is little task just on their own. Though they can be useful if there is still energy that needs to go, or to give a sense that life is just a bit more sound, or other things. But they can also lead to insomnia if I am not careful. I'm not always sure if such are a symptom, or a cause, though I suspect they can be a bit of both. All I am saying is that I need to watch those things, check mate them if they are becoming a bother.
As I said, I got to bed early enough anyway. I slept quite well. Some very hard dark dream, and a couple of pleasant dreams, as you might see them. I need the dark with the light, bittersweet being my norm. I am trying to give up vivid dreaming. It's just not something that, at this point, is necessary. I did it for a very long time, but in order to fix something I was told was broken. I have come to realized I was told lies. Those dreams simply are real, memories. They can't be changed, at least. The most I could do was look around in those dreams a bit more, find details. I never have been able to change the nature or outcome in them. I... prefer the lies. Nor have I been able to find proof in them. Then again, many who told those lies believed them, or, like me, really wanted to believe the lies. No evidence, on paper. Not that they are my truths, perhaps there is still other ways out of them. But not this way. I am not sure it is that easy to give that up, but non-conscious use has helped.
Breakfast, already. Coffee is brewing. I already cleaned up from breakfast, and while grinding coffee, since the counter is clean, cleaned up a small spill of grinds and a few coffee drips from recent days. Keeping up on the small stuff is part of the goal, making the bigger cleaning much easier when that is due. Fewer layers to dig down through. In a way, it might be less efficient. Save that when the job gets to a certain point, it can be almost overwhelming, just figuring out where to start become a trick otherwise. Well, and it is really good to live in a neat and clean environment. Medicine have been taken, and have been right on track as well. Oh, I will continue with what I have until it is gone, regarding supplements. Some of it will not be coming back. I really haven't had any noticeable improvement from any of it. Oh, sure, the old ones will stay, and daily vitamins. As to the over-the-counter heart medicine, I bought enough to last a while, and one of them is at a lower dose and I have more at a higher dose, so I will continue with those. If no real improvement occurs on the supplemental heart stuff, I will quit those when I am out. I may check my bp this morning, or not. Thinking on it though. Oh, and I am hoping to get the last of the Christmas lights down today as well. I'll feel better with that completed.
Today is all things living room. Mostly a soft start, just boxing books, tossing junk, dusting and cleaning surfaces as I go. If I get through that quickly enough, on to moving furniture and vacuuming. I am hoping to wake quickly enough to push for a nap then hike, or just on to a hike, if I can, this afternoon. Hopefully it stays cloudy, I don't mind the rain either. I just don't care much for the heat. Heat will always make getting out a struggle. If I can knock out both a good two hour, at least, hike, plus do weights, then tomorrow will be even lighter. Still a work day, but just that. That is why I would like to push for both types of exercise in one day... gives me more of a rest between. Or a chance to add in a bit more, if say I get enough done tomorrow, to throw a little hike in there. Perhaps around the lake at the lower dam, or around the lake north of town, or along the bank of the river to the south... just to see what is out there, and get some air, you know?
It's going well. I'll make it through for a good while, I think. The right foods, medicines on target, exercise going forward, the cave getting put in order, and then being worked on and cleared of excesses, while gear is being purchased and organized. Plus, I am learning and practicing new things, from braiding my own hair, to minifacturing items, to... who knows. I'm still gimping it, but I am on the path that will lead to the dirt road, which will even lead, eventually, to the super highway leading to where I need to be. The clock is, once again, ticking. But first, today, I have to wake.
Sunday, May 17, 2015
Yeah, no, got it.
.
.
I have done everything, including rebagging the trash cans, except laundry. I'll do that as I go in to sleep. Yes, even the french braid. I can't be sure, but I think I might actually have that braid down? I just can't be sure. I'll keep at it, then have them give me a pass fail at the salon, if a fail, I work on it. Oh, and I had a couple of small sprigs of grapes, as a treat. Sprigs? Who knows, too tired to look it up. If I get out hiking tomorrow, I'll even bring the bins back either when I head out or when I return. Probably. I'm terrible about those, some weeks.
There is just one song that kept flashing. All day, for a while now actually. Yes, before anything over at playpen game page. Just a... sense, a feel, maybe even a slight hunger or thirst. Yum!
.
I have done everything, including rebagging the trash cans, except laundry. I'll do that as I go in to sleep. Yes, even the french braid. I can't be sure, but I think I might actually have that braid down? I just can't be sure. I'll keep at it, then have them give me a pass fail at the salon, if a fail, I work on it. Oh, and I had a couple of small sprigs of grapes, as a treat. Sprigs? Who knows, too tired to look it up. If I get out hiking tomorrow, I'll even bring the bins back either when I head out or when I return. Probably. I'm terrible about those, some weeks.
There is just one song that kept flashing. All day, for a while now actually. Yes, before anything over at playpen game page. Just a... sense, a feel, maybe even a slight hunger or thirst. Yum!
Bedtime?
.
.
Yeah, you know. I think I am done for the day. Hmm, well, after I take trash and recycling out. I'm not going to bother loading it all up. What I have in the bags, and bins, will go. And I will put up the laundry. A few shirts to hang, a few folded items to store away. Then bed. I doubt if I will sleep all that long, perhaps six, though maybe eight hours. I am rested, I should be able to remember sleep and wake-up times. No guarantees on anything, I'm already beyond the rule book for nearly dead people. Still, the odds improve when rested. I think I am ready for tomorrow. Oh, right... I might tinker with french braiding before I crash. All those little things, you know. But... it is scheduled in, and a solid want.
If things work as I suspect, I will wake sometime rather early in the morning, get cracking on the living room, two or three sessions and rest periods, then a nap. Hopefully a nap that will end in time to see me hiking. If I miss that, I will hit the weights. But I really want to hike. And, if I do, I may still hit the weights. I won't be raising the weight on the curl bar, probably, until the end of the week... maybe. Never can be sure, then again the curl bar is starting to feel too light. Tuesday will be lighter duty. An half dozen work periods, rests, and a nap if need be. But I'd also like to hit the stick anchor. Well, and keep up on food and dishes. Try boiled eggs and grain mixes... it really does make putting solid food easier for a regular thing. Which reminds me, I finally washed and rinsed the grapes and cherries, I best put them up. That's my fruit for this week.
Wednesday, if I have everything, I am really hoping to get the kayak out and see what I can do. I am not counting on a great deal of really good exercise. Simply, learning to control the boat is going to eat into those profits. On the good side, getting coordinated as to rowing, control, and such, can be more exhausting that actually swinging a paddle or whatever once you get it all down. Those baby steps are sometimes worse than a full balanced stride, as to energy drain. I am hoping to find out. I'm not sure how cold the water is, so am not really sure how to dress. Hmm, but I'll be taking some extra clothes, in the smaller drybag I already have. It doesn't fit a spare pair of boots though, which is why I ordered a larger one. Still, I won't need spare boots, I can keep dry in the Xterra for when I get back.
Yeah, I am ready to hit it again. Lungs are still ticklish, but I think they will be for a long time, until I blow the carbs out. Harder, I hope, than last week, if in a better condition to do so. Good night.
.
Yeah, you know. I think I am done for the day. Hmm, well, after I take trash and recycling out. I'm not going to bother loading it all up. What I have in the bags, and bins, will go. And I will put up the laundry. A few shirts to hang, a few folded items to store away. Then bed. I doubt if I will sleep all that long, perhaps six, though maybe eight hours. I am rested, I should be able to remember sleep and wake-up times. No guarantees on anything, I'm already beyond the rule book for nearly dead people. Still, the odds improve when rested. I think I am ready for tomorrow. Oh, right... I might tinker with french braiding before I crash. All those little things, you know. But... it is scheduled in, and a solid want.
If things work as I suspect, I will wake sometime rather early in the morning, get cracking on the living room, two or three sessions and rest periods, then a nap. Hopefully a nap that will end in time to see me hiking. If I miss that, I will hit the weights. But I really want to hike. And, if I do, I may still hit the weights. I won't be raising the weight on the curl bar, probably, until the end of the week... maybe. Never can be sure, then again the curl bar is starting to feel too light. Tuesday will be lighter duty. An half dozen work periods, rests, and a nap if need be. But I'd also like to hit the stick anchor. Well, and keep up on food and dishes. Try boiled eggs and grain mixes... it really does make putting solid food easier for a regular thing. Which reminds me, I finally washed and rinsed the grapes and cherries, I best put them up. That's my fruit for this week.
Wednesday, if I have everything, I am really hoping to get the kayak out and see what I can do. I am not counting on a great deal of really good exercise. Simply, learning to control the boat is going to eat into those profits. On the good side, getting coordinated as to rowing, control, and such, can be more exhausting that actually swinging a paddle or whatever once you get it all down. Those baby steps are sometimes worse than a full balanced stride, as to energy drain. I am hoping to find out. I'm not sure how cold the water is, so am not really sure how to dress. Hmm, but I'll be taking some extra clothes, in the smaller drybag I already have. It doesn't fit a spare pair of boots though, which is why I ordered a larger one. Still, I won't need spare boots, I can keep dry in the Xterra for when I get back.
Yeah, I am ready to hit it again. Lungs are still ticklish, but I think they will be for a long time, until I blow the carbs out. Harder, I hope, than last week, if in a better condition to do so. Good night.
It's working.
.
.
Pacing. Even on days off. I suppose it's like trickle feeding batteries so that they don't die. Even on days off, I have to get up and do, from time to time. I don't want to hit the batteries with with a stupid charger, nor can I let them sit untended. Dishes, there were more than I remembered. I had added some in, and forgotten. More to clean the kitchen a bit more than because they were actually dirty. Laundry will be finished soon. Trash and recycling are pretty much ready to go. I won't get to the stick anchor today though. It just isn't fitting with the pace.
I just realized, the french braid lesson is coming up. I think I have four days. So, I won't be practicing that up to perfection, but I might be able to get a session, or two, per day, until the lesson. For me, I really need to work on tracking the strands, and which side to pull extra hair from and then were to put that. I can do a basic braid in seconds now. But this is just a bit more complicated. Once I get it down, I will have it very well. I was surprised I was able to get the regular braid down. This is just a bit trickier, but not much. I just have to focus. I might be able to get it down, but...
Oh, right. I didn't bother with measuring blood pressure today. I didn't want to be disappointed. I did, however, want to test strength. It's a subjective manner, but to me a sure one. Swords. I have a 46" katana. Yes, functional. No, not a hand made one, crafted by a monk after forty days under a waterfall, meditating. Anyway, when I first bought it, I realized it was a tad out of my ability. Decent for two handing, barely. And it could be used in a single hand, but was so very slow. Well, even at the place I am now, I can use it in my right hand with slightly clumsy ease, and both hands absolutely splendidly. I considered the weight I have on the bench now, and my goal. My guess at 1/8the the way is about right. When I am half way, I will be able to use this sword with either hand as if using a dagger. So, while no measurements seem to be improving, my raw strength is. No, I don't have the strength, currently, to use this weapon artistically... Just a sharp baseball bat really. But that, too, will come. Trust ol' Doomster, he really does know how to play not nice... with or without tools, but with more tools than you might imagine.
I know some may be confused about my considerations regarding finding a woman. Yes, that is still on a sort of track. It has simply become a bit more complicated. I won't go into more detail, I will only suggest that I will still make the effort. I may, indeed, be delusional about the whole thing. I may have misread what I thought I saw. In either case, the rules have changed. She may have to rethink the whole thing, if I saw right. Then again, I am not sure that will stop her. Some snagglepusses don't scare off easy, not if they... like something enough. Probably delusional, but I'll find out soon enough.
I remembered, from a recent dream and some memories after, about several women who didn't think I was good enough. I warned each, that if they didn't decide in time, I would have improved beyond their interest to me. I told each, I was about to improve, increase, manifest, but that I would not wait. And once I hit the max, they would no longer be in my league. Two chose otherwise, and later let me know that they greatly regretted their choice. One went along, until another sticking point came up and I went on. Even so, she was pleased to have chosen even the short ride. This time, it's for real, and always. Same deal though. I don't really have regrets that way. I can only ask, offer. All deals are a limited time production, subject to my interest and the time I can afford to mess with such things. Still, I may give this one about a year to really think things over, maybe two. If she is interested, that is. I won't sweat it either way. It's just not how I roll.
Later.
.
Pacing. Even on days off. I suppose it's like trickle feeding batteries so that they don't die. Even on days off, I have to get up and do, from time to time. I don't want to hit the batteries with with a stupid charger, nor can I let them sit untended. Dishes, there were more than I remembered. I had added some in, and forgotten. More to clean the kitchen a bit more than because they were actually dirty. Laundry will be finished soon. Trash and recycling are pretty much ready to go. I won't get to the stick anchor today though. It just isn't fitting with the pace.
I just realized, the french braid lesson is coming up. I think I have four days. So, I won't be practicing that up to perfection, but I might be able to get a session, or two, per day, until the lesson. For me, I really need to work on tracking the strands, and which side to pull extra hair from and then were to put that. I can do a basic braid in seconds now. But this is just a bit more complicated. Once I get it down, I will have it very well. I was surprised I was able to get the regular braid down. This is just a bit trickier, but not much. I just have to focus. I might be able to get it down, but...
Oh, right. I didn't bother with measuring blood pressure today. I didn't want to be disappointed. I did, however, want to test strength. It's a subjective manner, but to me a sure one. Swords. I have a 46" katana. Yes, functional. No, not a hand made one, crafted by a monk after forty days under a waterfall, meditating. Anyway, when I first bought it, I realized it was a tad out of my ability. Decent for two handing, barely. And it could be used in a single hand, but was so very slow. Well, even at the place I am now, I can use it in my right hand with slightly clumsy ease, and both hands absolutely splendidly. I considered the weight I have on the bench now, and my goal. My guess at 1/8the the way is about right. When I am half way, I will be able to use this sword with either hand as if using a dagger. So, while no measurements seem to be improving, my raw strength is. No, I don't have the strength, currently, to use this weapon artistically... Just a sharp baseball bat really. But that, too, will come. Trust ol' Doomster, he really does know how to play not nice... with or without tools, but with more tools than you might imagine.
I know some may be confused about my considerations regarding finding a woman. Yes, that is still on a sort of track. It has simply become a bit more complicated. I won't go into more detail, I will only suggest that I will still make the effort. I may, indeed, be delusional about the whole thing. I may have misread what I thought I saw. In either case, the rules have changed. She may have to rethink the whole thing, if I saw right. Then again, I am not sure that will stop her. Some snagglepusses don't scare off easy, not if they... like something enough. Probably delusional, but I'll find out soon enough.
I remembered, from a recent dream and some memories after, about several women who didn't think I was good enough. I warned each, that if they didn't decide in time, I would have improved beyond their interest to me. I told each, I was about to improve, increase, manifest, but that I would not wait. And once I hit the max, they would no longer be in my league. Two chose otherwise, and later let me know that they greatly regretted their choice. One went along, until another sticking point came up and I went on. Even so, she was pleased to have chosen even the short ride. This time, it's for real, and always. Same deal though. I don't really have regrets that way. I can only ask, offer. All deals are a limited time production, subject to my interest and the time I can afford to mess with such things. Still, I may give this one about a year to really think things over, maybe two. If she is interested, that is. I won't sweat it either way. It's just not how I roll.
Later.
Pushing and pulling.
.
.
Why push? To get ahead. It doesn't matter if you are doing it for intellectual, spiritual, or physical reasons... specific short or long term goals... or for no given reason. I have my reasons. And this push hasn't been light or easy. Some, however, are confused. They think the pushing is making me grumpy, hard, turning me into a bastard, hard nut, or such. No, it isn't the pushing. It never was. That is merely what happens when I reach, as in this case, my local maximums. I peel off the soft and fuzzy, and what lies underneath is hard, with damned high expectations for not just myself but everyone around me. I then begin not to care about what hurts on you or me, about how or why a failure occurred, only fixing it, and right. Pull any weapon out of it's sheath, and shit just changes.
As lame as my work has been, it has laid bare the blade that I truly am. It will cause fear, just as so, in some. It will call others closer, for various reasons. This shine will not wax unless I fall hard or quit my pursuit. Truth be told, I am only an eight uncovered and I am already causing people to sputter and fuss. I could tell them to fuck off, and to some extent have. But, yeah, at least at this stage, I can see it. Simply understand, Doom is coming back. When full blown, as I have mentioned, you will hate me, more so if you love me. I'm not your pansy mom or dad or favored grandpa or therapist, I will not shy from just saying it, I'm all about business. Good, bad, ugly... do your damn job and keep the whimpering to a minimum, or better, just go away. I know you probably can't cut it. And I won't handhold through the hard shit. Further, you will either survive, or most likely not.
.
Why push? To get ahead. It doesn't matter if you are doing it for intellectual, spiritual, or physical reasons... specific short or long term goals... or for no given reason. I have my reasons. And this push hasn't been light or easy. Some, however, are confused. They think the pushing is making me grumpy, hard, turning me into a bastard, hard nut, or such. No, it isn't the pushing. It never was. That is merely what happens when I reach, as in this case, my local maximums. I peel off the soft and fuzzy, and what lies underneath is hard, with damned high expectations for not just myself but everyone around me. I then begin not to care about what hurts on you or me, about how or why a failure occurred, only fixing it, and right. Pull any weapon out of it's sheath, and shit just changes.
As lame as my work has been, it has laid bare the blade that I truly am. It will cause fear, just as so, in some. It will call others closer, for various reasons. This shine will not wax unless I fall hard or quit my pursuit. Truth be told, I am only an eight uncovered and I am already causing people to sputter and fuss. I could tell them to fuck off, and to some extent have. But, yeah, at least at this stage, I can see it. Simply understand, Doom is coming back. When full blown, as I have mentioned, you will hate me, more so if you love me. I'm not your pansy mom or dad or favored grandpa or therapist, I will not shy from just saying it, I'm all about business. Good, bad, ugly... do your damn job and keep the whimpering to a minimum, or better, just go away. I know you probably can't cut it. And I won't handhold through the hard shit. Further, you will either survive, or most likely not.
Odd dream, good stomach pains, and an hangover from the emotional storm.
.
.
My gut still feels like it's been used for a punching bag. When I feel the want or need to cough, from having opened bay doors in my lungs that have been closed until recently... or just putting such a consistent load on them... not sure which, or even maybe something else... I wonder if I should suppress the cough. Sometimes I do. Sometimes, usually, I just push the cough through to the sense that it has cleared, regardless of pain. I think suppressing just stalls, and maybe exacerbates, the felt need to cough, so I am, more and more, surrendering. It's not the pain I am trying to avoid, it is just a hope that if I don't surrender to the cough, the need might go away? Some sort of catch back there, a tickle.
I don't know when I went to bed. I am guessing anywhere from 23:00 to maybe 1:00 or even 2:00. I woke sometime around 5:00 to 6:00, I think. I looked at the clock at each of those events, but memory absolutely fails. I am not in the best of shape, and still a little wrung out from the mood thing last night. Wasn't really a mood, so much as a mood brought on by a concern, or three. Frustration with a seeming lack of measurable success, as well. I have been working very hard, doing things even daily, lots of things. It just hasn't been enough to leave a mark, not yet. Well, it has left me sputtering, coughing, and a bit of a wreck. There is always that. Maybe another day of rest will cover some of that. Gotta take weekends off, and figure out how to restart the motor after downtime. Gotta.
I might be able to turn that into a good thing though. It means I am less likely to just split. I need to be ready for some serious rigor, at least from time to time, and more daily function. This is just going to take time and a lot of effort. I think some believe me to be pinned. And, to a degree, that may be so. I can't work on a definite daily basis. But I might be able to work up to large efforts several times a month. I am hoping to make those efforts large enough to survive, if just barely. It'll be tight, even that. Better just a little hope than none at all, so I'll go with that.
Ah, the dream. I dreamed I was a monk. The new pope decided to end monastic orders. We were being told to enter civilian life, find a wife, and such. This particular monastery was rather large, perhaps a hundred of us. And, in the dream, we were going to follow orders. There was one particular woman I had fallen in love with, but had kept vows and never let her know, not even in a sideways sort of way. As we were released, I went seeking her. It turns out another had an eye on her as well, and got to her first. They were already set to be wed before I could even speak with her. I decided to keep to my vows, just in a secular setting, then on to a hermit life. And so it went. Quite a downer of a dream, but you get what you get. Oh, a lot more detail, I just pared it down from a full short story to a paragraph, and that's probably just of what I remember. I wore my order pin, but under my regular clothes, and kept a few of the items, plus carried out daily prayers and such. Just all alone, out in some place back in the woods... in the dream. No, it wouldn't surprise me if this pope does that.
Anyway, on with the day. Dishes, first thing, then a shower. Trash and recycling next. I don't know if I will get to much else.
.
My gut still feels like it's been used for a punching bag. When I feel the want or need to cough, from having opened bay doors in my lungs that have been closed until recently... or just putting such a consistent load on them... not sure which, or even maybe something else... I wonder if I should suppress the cough. Sometimes I do. Sometimes, usually, I just push the cough through to the sense that it has cleared, regardless of pain. I think suppressing just stalls, and maybe exacerbates, the felt need to cough, so I am, more and more, surrendering. It's not the pain I am trying to avoid, it is just a hope that if I don't surrender to the cough, the need might go away? Some sort of catch back there, a tickle.
I don't know when I went to bed. I am guessing anywhere from 23:00 to maybe 1:00 or even 2:00. I woke sometime around 5:00 to 6:00, I think. I looked at the clock at each of those events, but memory absolutely fails. I am not in the best of shape, and still a little wrung out from the mood thing last night. Wasn't really a mood, so much as a mood brought on by a concern, or three. Frustration with a seeming lack of measurable success, as well. I have been working very hard, doing things even daily, lots of things. It just hasn't been enough to leave a mark, not yet. Well, it has left me sputtering, coughing, and a bit of a wreck. There is always that. Maybe another day of rest will cover some of that. Gotta take weekends off, and figure out how to restart the motor after downtime. Gotta.
I might be able to turn that into a good thing though. It means I am less likely to just split. I need to be ready for some serious rigor, at least from time to time, and more daily function. This is just going to take time and a lot of effort. I think some believe me to be pinned. And, to a degree, that may be so. I can't work on a definite daily basis. But I might be able to work up to large efforts several times a month. I am hoping to make those efforts large enough to survive, if just barely. It'll be tight, even that. Better just a little hope than none at all, so I'll go with that.
Ah, the dream. I dreamed I was a monk. The new pope decided to end monastic orders. We were being told to enter civilian life, find a wife, and such. This particular monastery was rather large, perhaps a hundred of us. And, in the dream, we were going to follow orders. There was one particular woman I had fallen in love with, but had kept vows and never let her know, not even in a sideways sort of way. As we were released, I went seeking her. It turns out another had an eye on her as well, and got to her first. They were already set to be wed before I could even speak with her. I decided to keep to my vows, just in a secular setting, then on to a hermit life. And so it went. Quite a downer of a dream, but you get what you get. Oh, a lot more detail, I just pared it down from a full short story to a paragraph, and that's probably just of what I remember. I wore my order pin, but under my regular clothes, and kept a few of the items, plus carried out daily prayers and such. Just all alone, out in some place back in the woods... in the dream. No, it wouldn't surprise me if this pope does that.
Anyway, on with the day. Dishes, first thing, then a shower. Trash and recycling next. I don't know if I will get to much else.
Saturday, May 16, 2015
Guilt?
.
.
Actually, yes. Just sitting around sucks. I know I could be working. And I fear that resting might cause a problem restarting. You just have no idea what being imprisoned in your own... pretty much... corpse is like. I've been out of the limits of the box for a bit. I do fear falling back in. Oh, it'll happen. As it heats up, perhaps as fall or winter hits, maybe off and on until a major setback occurs. So, while I feel like I could work, it is very difficult to just rest, relax. Emotions, however, have to be set aside. I do need rest, or something will break, or I'll simply fall too hard to easily get up. Pacing, and logic, is more vital at this time than emotion. But that doesn't mean the old sob doesn't feel. Not even sure what to do with it. It's like a woman screaming in my head, when she seems right. At least I know she isn't. I'll figure it out.
Some of the recent research has been about what to do once I get to Alaska. There are several issues. None of them are simple, or cheap, or always even going to be possible, fully.
In the areas I would like to go, permafrost might well be a problem. Building on permafrost... well... it's not a happy thing. Either you mitigate in a number of ways or you simply understand the structure will be short lived. Even with mitigation, the natural variability takes any real surety off the table. While their is over-engineering, in an off-grid, off-road, environment, unless you are a major corp or government, you won't have a way of getting in equipment, you won't have access to electricity, and there will be other problems.
Start by not buying swamp land, though. However, there are some ways of helping. My guess is, my first cabin will not last very long. Just the start-up costs... buying the land... locating the land and looking it over first, will be quite an expense. Bush pilots ain't cheap, and that is who would be doing those sorts of runs. Then getting a bid in before it is gone. Tricky, but doable if I watch p's and q's with great care. Perhaps cabin sitting for store/service vouchers, then camping hard in the summer, for inexpensive living. Not a happy life, but... there are some advantages. Heck, perhaps volunteering as a camp helper for hunters, so as to learn to skin and butcher, for nothing but lodging and food... or if seen as more valuable, for the same as I might ask for lodge sitting... Tricky, as I suggested, but doable... if available, if I can get fit enough.
The next idea is energy. Sure, wood for heat. But having some electrical would be a great help. Solar in Alaska would be sucky much of the year, but would come into it's own in the summer, when a fridge and/or freezer would become quite useful. Wind power, however, might well be a good option. Perhaps a hybrid system. So, I've been delving into that. Such a set-up would make cordless power tools less of a luxury, more of standard kit. Of course, there would have to be a generator, gas or diesel... I haven't even started looking at those. Perhaps something better will be out before I get settled and ready for that.
A large part of what I will be doing, when I first get there, is figuring out how to live without spending money. Camping will work, to some degree, but there would still be food and gas to get food, initially. Just going up there, and living off the land to start out, isn't a practical notion. I'll have to earn my way into that. Just the hunting skills, for there in particular, will have to be learned. Further, an out-of-state hunting and fishing license would not be possible, I believe... as a means of survival per cost. Fishing licenses for out-of-staters are limited, and expensive. The expense may, probably, not be worth the value. Well, and out-of-state hunting licenses for big game requires hiring a guide. Poaching? Yeah, no. As much as I am not interested in state, I'm also not interesting in that unless something went really wrong, and only as a means of survival. Camping would cut lodging costs, but food and fuel of some sorts would remain a cost... at least initially. Money, money, money. And I don't count on having much when I get there. Just what I have paired my belongings down to, and what I receive each month. I will need to make contacts, and try to prove myself out through the summer, in order to get a sitting/caretaker gig as well. Being there, in person, may help with that.
So far out there. So much work to get in the kind of shape that is required. So much hiking, camping, boating, and fishing to do to get some of the skills down. And, I am hoping, only a few years away, two, maybe three, depending on how I can work up, organize, handle some business, gear up, and save. There are a lot of balls in the air in this juggle, but... Heck, who knows, maybe the strain of the push will kill me, and I can sleep, peacefully, with the fishes? *blub* It'd make a lot of people happy, I don't really care so long as it doesn't just cripple me and drop me into the mouth of the bureaucratic leviathans or some such other ugly scenario. No, I'll keep going. Just wanted to spill a few beans, vent, and... Chicken. I think I'll warm a couple of pieces of that, watch some old show from before I realized how nasty H-wood is, then go to bed... or maybe do a little work, then go to bed.
Later or good night.
.
Actually, yes. Just sitting around sucks. I know I could be working. And I fear that resting might cause a problem restarting. You just have no idea what being imprisoned in your own... pretty much... corpse is like. I've been out of the limits of the box for a bit. I do fear falling back in. Oh, it'll happen. As it heats up, perhaps as fall or winter hits, maybe off and on until a major setback occurs. So, while I feel like I could work, it is very difficult to just rest, relax. Emotions, however, have to be set aside. I do need rest, or something will break, or I'll simply fall too hard to easily get up. Pacing, and logic, is more vital at this time than emotion. But that doesn't mean the old sob doesn't feel. Not even sure what to do with it. It's like a woman screaming in my head, when she seems right. At least I know she isn't. I'll figure it out.
Some of the recent research has been about what to do once I get to Alaska. There are several issues. None of them are simple, or cheap, or always even going to be possible, fully.
In the areas I would like to go, permafrost might well be a problem. Building on permafrost... well... it's not a happy thing. Either you mitigate in a number of ways or you simply understand the structure will be short lived. Even with mitigation, the natural variability takes any real surety off the table. While their is over-engineering, in an off-grid, off-road, environment, unless you are a major corp or government, you won't have a way of getting in equipment, you won't have access to electricity, and there will be other problems.
Start by not buying swamp land, though. However, there are some ways of helping. My guess is, my first cabin will not last very long. Just the start-up costs... buying the land... locating the land and looking it over first, will be quite an expense. Bush pilots ain't cheap, and that is who would be doing those sorts of runs. Then getting a bid in before it is gone. Tricky, but doable if I watch p's and q's with great care. Perhaps cabin sitting for store/service vouchers, then camping hard in the summer, for inexpensive living. Not a happy life, but... there are some advantages. Heck, perhaps volunteering as a camp helper for hunters, so as to learn to skin and butcher, for nothing but lodging and food... or if seen as more valuable, for the same as I might ask for lodge sitting... Tricky, as I suggested, but doable... if available, if I can get fit enough.
The next idea is energy. Sure, wood for heat. But having some electrical would be a great help. Solar in Alaska would be sucky much of the year, but would come into it's own in the summer, when a fridge and/or freezer would become quite useful. Wind power, however, might well be a good option. Perhaps a hybrid system. So, I've been delving into that. Such a set-up would make cordless power tools less of a luxury, more of standard kit. Of course, there would have to be a generator, gas or diesel... I haven't even started looking at those. Perhaps something better will be out before I get settled and ready for that.
A large part of what I will be doing, when I first get there, is figuring out how to live without spending money. Camping will work, to some degree, but there would still be food and gas to get food, initially. Just going up there, and living off the land to start out, isn't a practical notion. I'll have to earn my way into that. Just the hunting skills, for there in particular, will have to be learned. Further, an out-of-state hunting and fishing license would not be possible, I believe... as a means of survival per cost. Fishing licenses for out-of-staters are limited, and expensive. The expense may, probably, not be worth the value. Well, and out-of-state hunting licenses for big game requires hiring a guide. Poaching? Yeah, no. As much as I am not interested in state, I'm also not interesting in that unless something went really wrong, and only as a means of survival. Camping would cut lodging costs, but food and fuel of some sorts would remain a cost... at least initially. Money, money, money. And I don't count on having much when I get there. Just what I have paired my belongings down to, and what I receive each month. I will need to make contacts, and try to prove myself out through the summer, in order to get a sitting/caretaker gig as well. Being there, in person, may help with that.
So far out there. So much work to get in the kind of shape that is required. So much hiking, camping, boating, and fishing to do to get some of the skills down. And, I am hoping, only a few years away, two, maybe three, depending on how I can work up, organize, handle some business, gear up, and save. There are a lot of balls in the air in this juggle, but... Heck, who knows, maybe the strain of the push will kill me, and I can sleep, peacefully, with the fishes? *blub* It'd make a lot of people happy, I don't really care so long as it doesn't just cripple me and drop me into the mouth of the bureaucratic leviathans or some such other ugly scenario. No, I'll keep going. Just wanted to spill a few beans, vent, and... Chicken. I think I'll warm a couple of pieces of that, watch some old show from before I realized how nasty H-wood is, then go to bed... or maybe do a little work, then go to bed.
Later or good night.
Going through a spot.
.
.
Yeah, the battle cry has been to bring on the pain. And I have done so. Like trying to get a vehicle out of a rut, it's been a lot of back and forth. Sure, I have been at least moving most of the time for a good long time now. And there has been success, and mostly success. Thing is, I am still in the rut. Unlike the analogy, being in a better position, even if not escaping the rut, is a good thing. I am definitely in a better position. But it's such a tenuous thing.
While I have hit my goals fairly well, I am still quite behind in the real world game. What I have been doing is slim. Most of you reading this can do in a few days what took me a couple of weeks. Heck, what I have done is what some of you do while holding a job. Then, on top of that, you head out on weekends to play or party or garden. Just to add perspective. If I have done anything, it is to have worked up to a place where I might be able, just now if that, to begin pushing to add stamina and strength. Two, maybe three months, of pushing as hard as I can, just to get into a position to begin making my advances more, if only potentially even so, permanent. Ugh.
Lungs are still a bit wheezy, just from that effort. I'll have to dig so much deeper to actually add strength, all while trying to maintain my home, auto, boat, and life. I hope the weekend gets me back into solid oxygenation, and cuts the pain in my stomach from pushing into coughing for air. I am hoping my body relaxes and is again ready to push wherever I can fit a push. I haven't checked my blood pressure... tomorrow morning. I doubt if it will have improved though. I did check weight, and that has remained the same. It's a bit depressing that all the seeming effort hasn't done a thing. No signs of improvement. I can tell my body is tighter. Muscles, structural integrity, if not something that will last without continued effort. I know there are improvements, but they aren't showing up in any real measurable way.
I've done a few very minor tasks, eaten a meal, and will do another task or two today. Strictly low level, low effort. Even while I haven't improved, for the state I was in, I have pushed. If you don't work out, it would be like adding five or six half hour periods of exercise into your life. Only, I would guess, you would have improved more. As I said, I am hoping I am up to the point where I can begin actually improving. I had to shake off ages of rust just to get to this point. I just hope I can keep it going.
I have the recycling pretty much ready for tomorrow, and with the bill paid I have no trouble putting things out... on the conscience level. Trash is pretty ready to go, too. I might put most of the trash on ready tonight, while I deal with the last bits of laundry, and wash the dishes in prep for a final soak, finishing those tomorrow. I may also begin tearing down the living room tomorrow. Just organizing and sifting lighter stuff, from time to time. Monday is when the real teardown begins in the living room. Taking out the chairs and everything mostly mobile, moving things that aren't as easy to manage onto one side of the room, vacuuming and steam vacuuming the open parts, then letting that dry. I don't know if I will get all of that in one day, but it's possible. Oh, and I need to hike, maybe hit the bench too. Tuesday will be for picking up and around, finishing what I didn't get done, and a lighter day. If I got one half of the living room done, then I may begin in on my bedroom... sorting, sifting, tossing, getting it ready to be evacuated so as to be vacuumed and steam cleaned. I'll probably move into the guest bedroom while that goes forth.
Yeah, I think I'll get it done this time. I have three more areas after the bedroom. I'll hit every other day hard, doing lighter days in between, with weekends off. Add in the hope to do something outdoors, or on the weights, on the heavy days. I am hoping to get the kayak on the water Wednesday, but I won't promise on that. I definitely have a life vest, a pair of anchors (if not the stick anchor yet), and... Hmm... I'll check to see about paddles. I thought they came with the kit, but didn't find (or look for) them in that initial setup. Gotta have paddles. If not, I'll check with the seller. Could always get an extra one anyway, whatever the case.
.
Yeah, the battle cry has been to bring on the pain. And I have done so. Like trying to get a vehicle out of a rut, it's been a lot of back and forth. Sure, I have been at least moving most of the time for a good long time now. And there has been success, and mostly success. Thing is, I am still in the rut. Unlike the analogy, being in a better position, even if not escaping the rut, is a good thing. I am definitely in a better position. But it's such a tenuous thing.
While I have hit my goals fairly well, I am still quite behind in the real world game. What I have been doing is slim. Most of you reading this can do in a few days what took me a couple of weeks. Heck, what I have done is what some of you do while holding a job. Then, on top of that, you head out on weekends to play or party or garden. Just to add perspective. If I have done anything, it is to have worked up to a place where I might be able, just now if that, to begin pushing to add stamina and strength. Two, maybe three months, of pushing as hard as I can, just to get into a position to begin making my advances more, if only potentially even so, permanent. Ugh.
Lungs are still a bit wheezy, just from that effort. I'll have to dig so much deeper to actually add strength, all while trying to maintain my home, auto, boat, and life. I hope the weekend gets me back into solid oxygenation, and cuts the pain in my stomach from pushing into coughing for air. I am hoping my body relaxes and is again ready to push wherever I can fit a push. I haven't checked my blood pressure... tomorrow morning. I doubt if it will have improved though. I did check weight, and that has remained the same. It's a bit depressing that all the seeming effort hasn't done a thing. No signs of improvement. I can tell my body is tighter. Muscles, structural integrity, if not something that will last without continued effort. I know there are improvements, but they aren't showing up in any real measurable way.
I've done a few very minor tasks, eaten a meal, and will do another task or two today. Strictly low level, low effort. Even while I haven't improved, for the state I was in, I have pushed. If you don't work out, it would be like adding five or six half hour periods of exercise into your life. Only, I would guess, you would have improved more. As I said, I am hoping I am up to the point where I can begin actually improving. I had to shake off ages of rust just to get to this point. I just hope I can keep it going.
I have the recycling pretty much ready for tomorrow, and with the bill paid I have no trouble putting things out... on the conscience level. Trash is pretty ready to go, too. I might put most of the trash on ready tonight, while I deal with the last bits of laundry, and wash the dishes in prep for a final soak, finishing those tomorrow. I may also begin tearing down the living room tomorrow. Just organizing and sifting lighter stuff, from time to time. Monday is when the real teardown begins in the living room. Taking out the chairs and everything mostly mobile, moving things that aren't as easy to manage onto one side of the room, vacuuming and steam vacuuming the open parts, then letting that dry. I don't know if I will get all of that in one day, but it's possible. Oh, and I need to hike, maybe hit the bench too. Tuesday will be for picking up and around, finishing what I didn't get done, and a lighter day. If I got one half of the living room done, then I may begin in on my bedroom... sorting, sifting, tossing, getting it ready to be evacuated so as to be vacuumed and steam cleaned. I'll probably move into the guest bedroom while that goes forth.
Yeah, I think I'll get it done this time. I have three more areas after the bedroom. I'll hit every other day hard, doing lighter days in between, with weekends off. Add in the hope to do something outdoors, or on the weights, on the heavy days. I am hoping to get the kayak on the water Wednesday, but I won't promise on that. I definitely have a life vest, a pair of anchors (if not the stick anchor yet), and... Hmm... I'll check to see about paddles. I thought they came with the kit, but didn't find (or look for) them in that initial setup. Gotta have paddles. If not, I'll check with the seller. Could always get an extra one anyway, whatever the case.
NOW it's Saturday.
.
.
Oh, and I am so glad for it. I was limping across that line, more so after having gotten confused and sprinting Thursday. I went to bed about 20:30, waking at 4:00 to 4:30. I woke well enough. Initially I was in pretty bad shape. Sore. Muscles, a few bones and various joints, a headache was either showing up or leaving, and some other identified things. Have you ever had your headphones really loud, then got called away and left them on high. Then turned them on one morning when quiet was needed and wanted? Yes, that is how it initially felt, only with pain instead of sound. No complaints, I have worked hard for that. While I don't mind working, and earning my dues, I wasn't really interested in paying those dues first thing, or at that pace already. Thankfully, while I have no volume control, my body quickly adjusted some things and I am already feeling better. Plus, a fresh pot of coffee just finished. Yum.
From coughing, maybe working too, my gut feels like it has been used as a punching bag. I don't cough much at this point, but when I do, it's like having a kid bounce a bat off my middle section. The pain is sharp, quick, and gone just as so. Not as brutal as it sounds, I have definitely had much better, or worse if you are one of those pain adverse wienies. This is how I need to keep it, at a bare minimum, from now on... for some number of years. I don't know who well I can keep it tanked off. I've done well to get to this point though. Many meatheads with bad cases of manorexia use pills and shots, for muscle but also for the pain, because they can't handle the pain. Not my gig. I resist even using over the counter stuff, unless I really pushed too hard, or snagged a nerve around some bone or muscle group. Even then I don't use it carelessly, or even until the pain is gone, just long enough to get my 'nerve' back to handle the pain and begin mechanically working, or walking, it out.
Oh, but this weekend is needed. I am hoping, if I really slow it down on the weekends, I can ramp it even more during the week. I am pushing for eight to ten work hours, when and as I can albeit, plus an exercise function, each day. Then to ride the exercise depth up the hill at a pretty quick pace. The last time I started working out, I was able to get up to 300 benches in three months. Not sure I can repeat that, but it's a general goal, along with increasing the other exercises, and lengths of hikes, along with that. I'll be figuring a few things out along with that.
The gps arrived very early, compared to what was suggested. It wasn't going to be in until the end of this month to the end of next month. I was not happy about that. I guess someone got the memo, for once. It doesn't work well in the cave, but then, the cave has three to four foot walls. Parts of it, enough of it. Yeah... it's about as close to a real cave as you can get. I'm almost surprised I get cell signals. Though usually I can call, 3G and 4G are really spotty, depending on the time of day. I have calibrated altitude/barometer, the e-compass, and took it outside long enough for it to link to this area. What I haven't been able to do is see a dang thing for maps, update the date (I think, though maybe that will be automated when I make a trip). I'm not sure what maps I will end up wanting or needing, either. Garmin seems to be good, but they ain't cheap. Buy a unit, at a premium, then buy maps, also at a premium. It seems easy enough to use, but without maps I can't be sure how well it really works. Can't really order maps online, without calling Garmin to see what exactly they recommend. Hope to buy inland waterways next month, maybe, and road maps a month or two after that.
Gosh, it's nice to be able to just sit, without having a list a mile long sitting on my mind. Oh, I'll do a few things... finish the dishes, put up the now tended laundry that remains, get in a shower, and maybe begin work on the stick anchor. And, tomorrow, maybe pickle the uncooked eggs I have on hand. Not much more, other than eat two or three times. Oh, well, and have trash and recycling ready to go, and get it out Sunday night. Recycling is pretty much ready... a few boxes to break down and a sack to take out. But trash will be a bit more work. All good. Later.
.
Oh, and I am so glad for it. I was limping across that line, more so after having gotten confused and sprinting Thursday. I went to bed about 20:30, waking at 4:00 to 4:30. I woke well enough. Initially I was in pretty bad shape. Sore. Muscles, a few bones and various joints, a headache was either showing up or leaving, and some other identified things. Have you ever had your headphones really loud, then got called away and left them on high. Then turned them on one morning when quiet was needed and wanted? Yes, that is how it initially felt, only with pain instead of sound. No complaints, I have worked hard for that. While I don't mind working, and earning my dues, I wasn't really interested in paying those dues first thing, or at that pace already. Thankfully, while I have no volume control, my body quickly adjusted some things and I am already feeling better. Plus, a fresh pot of coffee just finished. Yum.
From coughing, maybe working too, my gut feels like it has been used as a punching bag. I don't cough much at this point, but when I do, it's like having a kid bounce a bat off my middle section. The pain is sharp, quick, and gone just as so. Not as brutal as it sounds, I have definitely had much better, or worse if you are one of those pain adverse wienies. This is how I need to keep it, at a bare minimum, from now on... for some number of years. I don't know who well I can keep it tanked off. I've done well to get to this point though. Many meatheads with bad cases of manorexia use pills and shots, for muscle but also for the pain, because they can't handle the pain. Not my gig. I resist even using over the counter stuff, unless I really pushed too hard, or snagged a nerve around some bone or muscle group. Even then I don't use it carelessly, or even until the pain is gone, just long enough to get my 'nerve' back to handle the pain and begin mechanically working, or walking, it out.
Oh, but this weekend is needed. I am hoping, if I really slow it down on the weekends, I can ramp it even more during the week. I am pushing for eight to ten work hours, when and as I can albeit, plus an exercise function, each day. Then to ride the exercise depth up the hill at a pretty quick pace. The last time I started working out, I was able to get up to 300 benches in three months. Not sure I can repeat that, but it's a general goal, along with increasing the other exercises, and lengths of hikes, along with that. I'll be figuring a few things out along with that.
The gps arrived very early, compared to what was suggested. It wasn't going to be in until the end of this month to the end of next month. I was not happy about that. I guess someone got the memo, for once. It doesn't work well in the cave, but then, the cave has three to four foot walls. Parts of it, enough of it. Yeah... it's about as close to a real cave as you can get. I'm almost surprised I get cell signals. Though usually I can call, 3G and 4G are really spotty, depending on the time of day. I have calibrated altitude/barometer, the e-compass, and took it outside long enough for it to link to this area. What I haven't been able to do is see a dang thing for maps, update the date (I think, though maybe that will be automated when I make a trip). I'm not sure what maps I will end up wanting or needing, either. Garmin seems to be good, but they ain't cheap. Buy a unit, at a premium, then buy maps, also at a premium. It seems easy enough to use, but without maps I can't be sure how well it really works. Can't really order maps online, without calling Garmin to see what exactly they recommend. Hope to buy inland waterways next month, maybe, and road maps a month or two after that.
Gosh, it's nice to be able to just sit, without having a list a mile long sitting on my mind. Oh, I'll do a few things... finish the dishes, put up the now tended laundry that remains, get in a shower, and maybe begin work on the stick anchor. And, tomorrow, maybe pickle the uncooked eggs I have on hand. Not much more, other than eat two or three times. Oh, well, and have trash and recycling ready to go, and get it out Sunday night. Recycling is pretty much ready... a few boxes to break down and a sack to take out. But trash will be a bit more work. All good. Later.
Friday, May 15, 2015
I've done what I could for the week.
.
.
Tired, now. Almost a bit punch drunk from it. Pleased. I've been thanking God every night, save on those nights where I just went down so fast I didn't even realize I had made it to bed. That has happened. I'll continue through the weekend, only much lighter work, more spread out, with longer breaks. I am really looking forward to the weekend. I might even just go to bed shortly.
It never stopped raining while I was in working condition, so the area rug will just have to wait. The rest of the stuff got hit, some of it done. It had become difficult to focus. All good though. One of the things I did was to grill several meats. I turned to beef slices into sandwiches. I had no room for anything else. Heck, that is one of the biggest meals I have had this week. Oh, but on the food thing, I don't think I need to boil as many eggs as I had supposed. One or two eggs per meal seems to be enough, and then some. I figure eighteen eggs, and a cup (dry) of the mush mix, will see me through breakfasts and lunch for a week. I don't, won't, always even eat supper. That is one step toward figuring out my future. Nutrition is vital, regular eating is required, and the good stuff is the way to go. No organics were masticated in the video. :p
Yeah, my body is definitely done. It wants to keep going, in it's way. As do my mind and spirit. But after abusing last weekend, I don't want a repeat. I do have limits, upon limits, upon limits. I'm punching holes in those as if there is no tomorrow. And, I suppose, I can... for a while. Eventually either the fee will come due, or I will seriously grow, or most likely bits of both. There is nothing like suffering for the right reasons. Plus, as I said, I add my suffering to assist those in purgatory. Nothing like a little wind in the air when the sails are otherwise flat. Trust me on that one. Can't get them through to safe harboring, but I might buy them a little more time to figure it out. On my side, I call it the blessed burn. And it isn't even a vanity thing, mostly humbling, as I see it. Or how I try to keep it.
Good night. I hope you have enjoyed the show.
.
Tired, now. Almost a bit punch drunk from it. Pleased. I've been thanking God every night, save on those nights where I just went down so fast I didn't even realize I had made it to bed. That has happened. I'll continue through the weekend, only much lighter work, more spread out, with longer breaks. I am really looking forward to the weekend. I might even just go to bed shortly.
It never stopped raining while I was in working condition, so the area rug will just have to wait. The rest of the stuff got hit, some of it done. It had become difficult to focus. All good though. One of the things I did was to grill several meats. I turned to beef slices into sandwiches. I had no room for anything else. Heck, that is one of the biggest meals I have had this week. Oh, but on the food thing, I don't think I need to boil as many eggs as I had supposed. One or two eggs per meal seems to be enough, and then some. I figure eighteen eggs, and a cup (dry) of the mush mix, will see me through breakfasts and lunch for a week. I don't, won't, always even eat supper. That is one step toward figuring out my future. Nutrition is vital, regular eating is required, and the good stuff is the way to go. No organics were masticated in the video. :p
Yeah, my body is definitely done. It wants to keep going, in it's way. As do my mind and spirit. But after abusing last weekend, I don't want a repeat. I do have limits, upon limits, upon limits. I'm punching holes in those as if there is no tomorrow. And, I suppose, I can... for a while. Eventually either the fee will come due, or I will seriously grow, or most likely bits of both. There is nothing like suffering for the right reasons. Plus, as I said, I add my suffering to assist those in purgatory. Nothing like a little wind in the air when the sails are otherwise flat. Trust me on that one. Can't get them through to safe harboring, but I might buy them a little more time to figure it out. On my side, I call it the blessed burn. And it isn't even a vanity thing, mostly humbling, as I see it. Or how I try to keep it.
Good night. I hope you have enjoyed the show.
Ah, Friday.
.
.
Yes, I figured it out shortly after that last post. I was already at work. I had refreshed the dishes in a fresh soapy soak, got the laundry out for folding, swept the floors, and... some other things. Glad it's Friday, I was hitting work again pretty hard and fast. And I will continue with it. Oh, and I'll get the rug out, beat it clean, place it, then vacuum it.
After I finish those tasks, I am hoping to get out for a hike. Then, this evening, if I can, I will begin sorting and organizing in the living room. The hope is, by Monday night, to have that room cleared enough to remove furniture, and maybe vacuum. Of course, my estimates are often off by a bit. Still, that's the plan. And, while I do intend to take the weekend off, a little work, now and then, won't hurt. I really think, this time, I will get the living room, then my bedroom done. After that, I hope to clean, sweep, and mop the wash room and back entry way. Then to get started on the en suit bathroom. Yes, I am going to hit that. And maybe figure out the wiring for a subpanel in the garage. A couple of improvements, for when I sell the house. If it takes long enough, and money goes right, I might even put new flooring into the kitchen.
Eventually, or throughout, I might even get this room, the spare bedroom, and the upstairs sorted out. Those aren't prime targets, but some spit and polish will be extended to them as I can.
It is raining, but I can still do as I hoped. The rain wouldn't be a problem for a hike, but the timing may be. Hmm... Perhaps working until 14:00, then just go for the hike? Yeah, maybe. At least it will be cooler. I have several pieces of rain gear, so no biggy. A day off, but it was working out before I even realized it. All good. Later.
.
Yes, I figured it out shortly after that last post. I was already at work. I had refreshed the dishes in a fresh soapy soak, got the laundry out for folding, swept the floors, and... some other things. Glad it's Friday, I was hitting work again pretty hard and fast. And I will continue with it. Oh, and I'll get the rug out, beat it clean, place it, then vacuum it.
After I finish those tasks, I am hoping to get out for a hike. Then, this evening, if I can, I will begin sorting and organizing in the living room. The hope is, by Monday night, to have that room cleared enough to remove furniture, and maybe vacuum. Of course, my estimates are often off by a bit. Still, that's the plan. And, while I do intend to take the weekend off, a little work, now and then, won't hurt. I really think, this time, I will get the living room, then my bedroom done. After that, I hope to clean, sweep, and mop the wash room and back entry way. Then to get started on the en suit bathroom. Yes, I am going to hit that. And maybe figure out the wiring for a subpanel in the garage. A couple of improvements, for when I sell the house. If it takes long enough, and money goes right, I might even put new flooring into the kitchen.
Eventually, or throughout, I might even get this room, the spare bedroom, and the upstairs sorted out. Those aren't prime targets, but some spit and polish will be extended to them as I can.
It is raining, but I can still do as I hoped. The rain wouldn't be a problem for a hike, but the timing may be. Hmm... Perhaps working until 14:00, then just go for the hike? Yeah, maybe. At least it will be cooler. I have several pieces of rain gear, so no biggy. A day off, but it was working out before I even realized it. All good. Later.
Right to the line, basically.
.
.
I had to work up to midnight, 23:30 actually. But that was as close as I could get. I could have, in the remaining time, folded laundry. Technically speaking. I had nothing left at that point. I still need to sweep. The thing about sweeping, then mopping, is there are always bits left from the mopping, no matter how good you sweep. At least when mopping is a rarity. The floors weren't dry enough though. Sweeping even a partially wet floor though, is bad. Always bad. So that was out. I suppose I could have hit the dishes, too, or taken the floor rug out and beaten it. Like I said, I was wiped. I am going to hit the dishes and laundry though. Just not quickly. And I will sweep the floor. Other than a bit of cooking, that will be it for weekend work. I lit a scent candle my mother brought into my home, and might start using one of those electronic (plug-in) air fresheners from time to time. I haven't, to this point, because I hate masking unclean with a false face of scent. If I can keep up on cleaning, I don't mind... enhancing the notion though. I suppose. Cinnamon. I suppose I could just use stove potpourri, but that is messy. This is much easier, and no pans will be dirtied in the process.
It has been great having steady easy good food. The eggs last well enough, from what I can see. As does the grain mix. I don't think I'll make as much grain/seed/legume mix though. I'm not sure that much will last. Even eating a cup a day, which I rarely do, that's quite a lot of the stuff. Nothing fancy, but it has definitely been a good thing. Simple, really, plain to be sure. Hmm... now that the cast is ready to be used, I can make some bacon, perhaps even some in advance, with the rest of it. Not a daily, just a nice add as a treat for when I have done well. Though I need to do something more in the evening, as to meat. I'll be cooking up chicken, brots, and thin-sliced beef sometime today, which will last half a week anyway. Cold is good, when I'm on the run. The nuke is good enough for warming food. And, I always get a slice of warm after cooking.
If the chores and resting go nicely enough, I may attempt to fabricate the stick anchor this weekend. I can do parts of it at a time without much wear and tear. Besides, it's both a fun project and for a fun goal. Boating isn't just about exercise, or backwood mobility, but a pleasure. If you don't like something, how are you ever going to get good at it? I hope to have a project each weekend, one I can tinker with at my leisure, but not too big of one either. Hopefully, on some future weekend when I grow to have more on the ball, perhaps I can begin on the solar oven. Just... something. Perhaps I can even begin collecting parts for a minor solar rig. Something for a few lights in the cave. Actually for several things... rechargeable battery charging, learning solar, maybe enough for one of those micro-fridge/freezers too. Just a little system to learn with. It'll take a while to buy all the components, wiring, and then assembly. Or saving until I have enough to buy a decent little setup.
I am surprised. I woke right at 7:30. I am not sore. I am not stiff. I'm not even worn. Still, I know from last weekend, I simply cannot push seven days a week. Nothing too heavy. If I hit heavy, I have to back down. I simply won't stumble through another week as I did this one. I'm not sure God needed a break, I think that was just a gift for us, an example to follow. I've got to take it. Amazing though. I really thought I was going to stumble and hit the dirt for a week or two. I did stumble, I just didn't stay down... more than once. All good, very deliciously good. Later.
.
I had to work up to midnight, 23:30 actually. But that was as close as I could get. I could have, in the remaining time, folded laundry. Technically speaking. I had nothing left at that point. I still need to sweep. The thing about sweeping, then mopping, is there are always bits left from the mopping, no matter how good you sweep. At least when mopping is a rarity. The floors weren't dry enough though. Sweeping even a partially wet floor though, is bad. Always bad. So that was out. I suppose I could have hit the dishes, too, or taken the floor rug out and beaten it. Like I said, I was wiped. I am going to hit the dishes and laundry though. Just not quickly. And I will sweep the floor. Other than a bit of cooking, that will be it for weekend work. I lit a scent candle my mother brought into my home, and might start using one of those electronic (plug-in) air fresheners from time to time. I haven't, to this point, because I hate masking unclean with a false face of scent. If I can keep up on cleaning, I don't mind... enhancing the notion though. I suppose. Cinnamon. I suppose I could just use stove potpourri, but that is messy. This is much easier, and no pans will be dirtied in the process.
It has been great having steady easy good food. The eggs last well enough, from what I can see. As does the grain mix. I don't think I'll make as much grain/seed/legume mix though. I'm not sure that much will last. Even eating a cup a day, which I rarely do, that's quite a lot of the stuff. Nothing fancy, but it has definitely been a good thing. Simple, really, plain to be sure. Hmm... now that the cast is ready to be used, I can make some bacon, perhaps even some in advance, with the rest of it. Not a daily, just a nice add as a treat for when I have done well. Though I need to do something more in the evening, as to meat. I'll be cooking up chicken, brots, and thin-sliced beef sometime today, which will last half a week anyway. Cold is good, when I'm on the run. The nuke is good enough for warming food. And, I always get a slice of warm after cooking.
If the chores and resting go nicely enough, I may attempt to fabricate the stick anchor this weekend. I can do parts of it at a time without much wear and tear. Besides, it's both a fun project and for a fun goal. Boating isn't just about exercise, or backwood mobility, but a pleasure. If you don't like something, how are you ever going to get good at it? I hope to have a project each weekend, one I can tinker with at my leisure, but not too big of one either. Hopefully, on some future weekend when I grow to have more on the ball, perhaps I can begin on the solar oven. Just... something. Perhaps I can even begin collecting parts for a minor solar rig. Something for a few lights in the cave. Actually for several things... rechargeable battery charging, learning solar, maybe enough for one of those micro-fridge/freezers too. Just a little system to learn with. It'll take a while to buy all the components, wiring, and then assembly. Or saving until I have enough to buy a decent little setup.
I am surprised. I woke right at 7:30. I am not sore. I am not stiff. I'm not even worn. Still, I know from last weekend, I simply cannot push seven days a week. Nothing too heavy. If I hit heavy, I have to back down. I simply won't stumble through another week as I did this one. I'm not sure God needed a break, I think that was just a gift for us, an example to follow. I've got to take it. Amazing though. I really thought I was going to stumble and hit the dirt for a week or two. I did stumble, I just didn't stay down... more than once. All good, very deliciously good. Later.
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Fooled you, and me.
.
.
I did rest a bit, with the ac running. I tried to sleep, and could have made it. I set the alarm for 21:00, if with a nagging feeling... that wouldn't work. Then I remembered I hadn't turned the laundry over. With front loading washing machines, you really can't leave damp clothes in there. Once the mold gets into the rubber gasket, you might as well buy new or just get used to the stench of it. So, I got up, to at least fix that. I decided not to go back to bed. Besides, the cough wasn't that bad... just uncomfortable... as was the seeming airlessness.
Since, I finished the kitchen, neatness wise, then swept the kitchen, and other areas, again. Then to mopping, just the bathroom and niche area, as there is too much furniture otherwise to make sense of things. I have mopped both of those areas twice, then just finished running a clean rinse over them. I've got the timer set for an hour. If those areas are dry then, I'll move the furniture into the niche and mop the kitchen, twice, then do a clear finish. I hate tacky floors. The only way to fix that is to clear rinse. Two cleaning mops is required if you... don't mop often enough. I hope to have the kitchen and other areas, sorted by bedtime, with the exception of putting the area rug back down. I want to take that out, put it over the line, and beat it with a stick, or two by four, or some such. But not tonight. Even then, I'll probably end up vacuuming it, and when I steam vac the living room, I'll hit that too.
Yeah, lungs are still a bit quirky. Deep breaths can tickle in a not so pleasant way. I am bushed. But I will be done with those areas and can just start in on the living room Monday. I was so close, I didn't want to have to redo, again, again. Just a few days, and the girls have kicked out more stuff. Bleh. Yeah, that means I'll have to sweep before putting the area rug down, but that it is mopped means that should be much smoother. Tomorrow a little cooking, but mostly resting. Sunday might see some minor tinkering, but again, mostly resting. No exercise, and nothing that burns too much energy of one sort or another. Might be a good day for gaming... haven't done that in a long time.
I still have work to do, but I won't be checking back in. So, good night, for sure. I hope I've worn you out enough to sleep well. That'll make two of us. Yeah, good night and rest well.
.
I did rest a bit, with the ac running. I tried to sleep, and could have made it. I set the alarm for 21:00, if with a nagging feeling... that wouldn't work. Then I remembered I hadn't turned the laundry over. With front loading washing machines, you really can't leave damp clothes in there. Once the mold gets into the rubber gasket, you might as well buy new or just get used to the stench of it. So, I got up, to at least fix that. I decided not to go back to bed. Besides, the cough wasn't that bad... just uncomfortable... as was the seeming airlessness.
Since, I finished the kitchen, neatness wise, then swept the kitchen, and other areas, again. Then to mopping, just the bathroom and niche area, as there is too much furniture otherwise to make sense of things. I have mopped both of those areas twice, then just finished running a clean rinse over them. I've got the timer set for an hour. If those areas are dry then, I'll move the furniture into the niche and mop the kitchen, twice, then do a clear finish. I hate tacky floors. The only way to fix that is to clear rinse. Two cleaning mops is required if you... don't mop often enough. I hope to have the kitchen and other areas, sorted by bedtime, with the exception of putting the area rug back down. I want to take that out, put it over the line, and beat it with a stick, or two by four, or some such. But not tonight. Even then, I'll probably end up vacuuming it, and when I steam vac the living room, I'll hit that too.
Yeah, lungs are still a bit quirky. Deep breaths can tickle in a not so pleasant way. I am bushed. But I will be done with those areas and can just start in on the living room Monday. I was so close, I didn't want to have to redo, again, again. Just a few days, and the girls have kicked out more stuff. Bleh. Yeah, that means I'll have to sweep before putting the area rug down, but that it is mopped means that should be much smoother. Tomorrow a little cooking, but mostly resting. Sunday might see some minor tinkering, but again, mostly resting. No exercise, and nothing that burns too much energy of one sort or another. Might be a good day for gaming... haven't done that in a long time.
I still have work to do, but I won't be checking back in. So, good night, for sure. I hope I've worn you out enough to sleep well. That'll make two of us. Yeah, good night and rest well.
Push till you lung out?
.
.
Yeah, that seems to be the plan for now. Until the lungs pull through. Well, even more. Push it until the lungs fail, and then I run out of air besides. It's working for me, so hush.
I didn't finish with the kitchen, but very close. Dishes are soaking. The laundry should be done, so I'll put that in the dryer for when I wake. Just a partial fluff dry, enough that if I forget they won't get too gnarly, yet not enough so wrinkles set too deeply. Yeah, I learn a few things from time to time. Tricks. When you are on gimp time, you gotta learn to stretch things, try to make the picture fit the puzzle, or the other way around, when just doing it all at once isn't possible.
I'll crash for a while, then hit it fresh when I wake. Hopefully I'll be awake before the day turns into Saturday. I really have to take the weekends off. Though I can push that to the minute. Which, if it works out, might mean I can get... yeah... probably not. But I will be ready to finish Monday. I might even be able to get hiking in. I'll just have to see. The lungs are getting a bit better, lasting longer. And I did put the weight vest on for an hour. What is getting me is that there is always more to do than what the crow's view might show. Dig down a bit, and you find extra work... if you mean to do it right it means the job takes longer. I am down to the floor though. I just need to clean and sweep that, then sweep the off areas and mop those, then when those dry mop the kitchen. Plus I caught up on the other daily, normal, usual, tasks... or am in the process.
I'll take it. Heck of a two weeks, and more. Lungs are ticklish and I am all out of air and time for this period. Good... night... give or take.
.
Yeah, that seems to be the plan for now. Until the lungs pull through. Well, even more. Push it until the lungs fail, and then I run out of air besides. It's working for me, so hush.
I didn't finish with the kitchen, but very close. Dishes are soaking. The laundry should be done, so I'll put that in the dryer for when I wake. Just a partial fluff dry, enough that if I forget they won't get too gnarly, yet not enough so wrinkles set too deeply. Yeah, I learn a few things from time to time. Tricks. When you are on gimp time, you gotta learn to stretch things, try to make the picture fit the puzzle, or the other way around, when just doing it all at once isn't possible.
I'll crash for a while, then hit it fresh when I wake. Hopefully I'll be awake before the day turns into Saturday. I really have to take the weekends off. Though I can push that to the minute. Which, if it works out, might mean I can get... yeah... probably not. But I will be ready to finish Monday. I might even be able to get hiking in. I'll just have to see. The lungs are getting a bit better, lasting longer. And I did put the weight vest on for an hour. What is getting me is that there is always more to do than what the crow's view might show. Dig down a bit, and you find extra work... if you mean to do it right it means the job takes longer. I am down to the floor though. I just need to clean and sweep that, then sweep the off areas and mop those, then when those dry mop the kitchen. Plus I caught up on the other daily, normal, usual, tasks... or am in the process.
I'll take it. Heck of a two weeks, and more. Lungs are ticklish and I am all out of air and time for this period. Good... night... give or take.
Yeah, I'm getting there.
.
.
After waking, I hit it. I decided to wear the weight vest, at 40 pounds, while working in the kitchen, until I needed a break. I wore the vest for an hour, worked for half an hour. Yeah, it's probably pushing it, but I don't hurt anymore, and pain isn't something you can remember. So... I took a break and am about to hit the kitchen again. I might toss a load of laundry in before... maybe... finishing the kitchen. That's the goal with this next run. Just a bunch of little crap, but so many little things. Annoying, detail work, you know? If I can finish, I'll sweep the areas to be mopped before closing down for another break. Maybe mopping while I am at it.
If I do get that, then I will be in good shape. Next work shift, I'll vacate the kitchen, sweep, then mop that area. If I get that done, and have some juice, I'll begin tinkering with the stick-anchor. I still hope to lift weights before the day is done. Some of it has been pushing, especially the weight vest work, some of it has been pretty easy. This next bit should be on the easier side. Look Ma, no vest. It's nice when I get to take that off. Gah! I had hoped to get the Christmas lights down. Sounds easy, and it is, but... probably not today. Maybe Monday... nah... Tuesday. I want to get into the living room Monday, don't want to be slowed down or sidetracked this time.
On the good side, I have meats ready for the grill this evening. Just a bit. It'll mean I can take Saturday more off than I had thought, Sunday too. I need a more serious downtime this weekend, and will take it if I earn it. Lungs are good, body is a bet pushed to limits but doing okay, I think I am back on track. Which is why I risked the vest, and am hoping to risk lifting weights later. Gotta keep it in the working zone, if away from the red line. Only one way to figure that out, and it is a moving target. Should be increasing, until I hit a crash zone. Then it's about backing off just enough to rest just enough to figure out how to fix then go all over again. One hurdle survived, on to the next. Later.
.
After waking, I hit it. I decided to wear the weight vest, at 40 pounds, while working in the kitchen, until I needed a break. I wore the vest for an hour, worked for half an hour. Yeah, it's probably pushing it, but I don't hurt anymore, and pain isn't something you can remember. So... I took a break and am about to hit the kitchen again. I might toss a load of laundry in before... maybe... finishing the kitchen. That's the goal with this next run. Just a bunch of little crap, but so many little things. Annoying, detail work, you know? If I can finish, I'll sweep the areas to be mopped before closing down for another break. Maybe mopping while I am at it.
If I do get that, then I will be in good shape. Next work shift, I'll vacate the kitchen, sweep, then mop that area. If I get that done, and have some juice, I'll begin tinkering with the stick-anchor. I still hope to lift weights before the day is done. Some of it has been pushing, especially the weight vest work, some of it has been pretty easy. This next bit should be on the easier side. Look Ma, no vest. It's nice when I get to take that off. Gah! I had hoped to get the Christmas lights down. Sounds easy, and it is, but... probably not today. Maybe Monday... nah... Tuesday. I want to get into the living room Monday, don't want to be slowed down or sidetracked this time.
On the good side, I have meats ready for the grill this evening. Just a bit. It'll mean I can take Saturday more off than I had thought, Sunday too. I need a more serious downtime this weekend, and will take it if I earn it. Lungs are good, body is a bet pushed to limits but doing okay, I think I am back on track. Which is why I risked the vest, and am hoping to risk lifting weights later. Gotta keep it in the working zone, if away from the red line. Only one way to figure that out, and it is a moving target. Should be increasing, until I hit a crash zone. Then it's about backing off just enough to rest just enough to figure out how to fix then go all over again. One hurdle survived, on to the next. Later.
Awake and started.
.
.
While making coffee for the morning, I gathered the few dishes needing washed and set those and the pot used for eggs, to soak. I suppose I could just rinse the egg pot out, I just... want to be sure. I looked over the kitchen while I was doing all that, and think I can get it knocked out in pretty short order. I had breakfast, then went back to waking up. Yeah, it just takes a while. I was a little surprised I got the dishes going. It's not just an energy thing, it's also that until I wake up, seeing what needs to be, or even could be, done is... well... often that just isn't present in me. Sure, I could see a charging bull and deal with it, but the little shit just doesn't configure in my bean, usually.
Of course, I review blogs, check a few out of the way news sources that have a better chance of hitting what is important, or close enough that I can draw a line to what is really happening, though just as often, with any news source, I keep an eye out for what is being emitted. It's often the black holes in the news that tell more than anything. They do, indeed, set out to deceive. Politicians, corp, and newsmen are in the same game, self-enrichment as the base, with deception used as a means of cover. I did run across a story that I found interesting.
It is suggested, from a major study, that hand grip strength is the best tell for longevity. A solid hand grip, and your time is predictably longer. It is more of a predictor than blood pressure readings, or... anything else. Further, it isn't just heart failure related. A strong grip means you have a better shot at simply living. Even when education, age, tobacco use, levels of activity, and some other things, are all covered, hand grip still is the best indicator of a future stroke or heart attack, or as I mentioned, other forms of death.
.
While making coffee for the morning, I gathered the few dishes needing washed and set those and the pot used for eggs, to soak. I suppose I could just rinse the egg pot out, I just... want to be sure. I looked over the kitchen while I was doing all that, and think I can get it knocked out in pretty short order. I had breakfast, then went back to waking up. Yeah, it just takes a while. I was a little surprised I got the dishes going. It's not just an energy thing, it's also that until I wake up, seeing what needs to be, or even could be, done is... well... often that just isn't present in me. Sure, I could see a charging bull and deal with it, but the little shit just doesn't configure in my bean, usually.
Of course, I review blogs, check a few out of the way news sources that have a better chance of hitting what is important, or close enough that I can draw a line to what is really happening, though just as often, with any news source, I keep an eye out for what is being emitted. It's often the black holes in the news that tell more than anything. They do, indeed, set out to deceive. Politicians, corp, and newsmen are in the same game, self-enrichment as the base, with deception used as a means of cover. I did run across a story that I found interesting.
It is suggested, from a major study, that hand grip strength is the best tell for longevity. A solid hand grip, and your time is predictably longer. It is more of a predictor than blood pressure readings, or... anything else. Further, it isn't just heart failure related. A strong grip means you have a better shot at simply living. Even when education, age, tobacco use, levels of activity, and some other things, are all covered, hand grip still is the best indicator of a future stroke or heart attack, or as I mentioned, other forms of death.
No idea.
.
.
When I finally went to sleep? I was fried well before I left town on my way home. Memory short circuits when I have gone that far. I tried to locate the time, and put it in memory. As I said though, I stopped being able to do that before I returned to pick up the charcoal. I probably looked a wee stricken. Foggy eyes, pasty paling skin, you know the look... in yourself, in others. I never caught a second wind. Ice water before bed, a bit of winding down, no food though. Just couldn't do one more damned thing. After the water, I don't remember much, even as roughly as I remember anything. All good. I need to find this place fairly often. It and pain are the clues that I am hitting the limits and then going beyond. It's the only way.
I woke at 2:00 or 3:00. In good shape. Tired, in a distant manner. Sore, but not in a place, just... sore, roughly around and about body and mind. Every muscle has just a mild sense that it has been stretched, pushed, pulled, just a bit out of kilter. But no one piece, place, or thing is more than the rest. I am guessing, just very roughly, that I went to bed somewhere between 17:00 and 19:00. My sleep it becoming pretty regular, right at eight to nine hours. Unless I end up taking two four to six hour naps in the day, but I didn't, so...
Sure, exercise has been what has been cut. And while I don't like that, it is the least functional thing. It won't always be what is cut, but this time, that was the decision. Once I get the cave in operating order, and am maintaining it, it will more often be projects that get cut. Until then, it will be exercise. Priorities.
Today, after I wake, I'll be hitting the kitchen. I am fairly close to having that about ready for mopping. Once there, I'll sweep, everything to be mopped, again, then hit the bathroom and niche with the mop. Then wait until that dries to vacate the kitchen and mop in there. I think I'll have it today... if I can squeeze the work out. I am definitely limping. Still, I think I can. If I can get to that, and feel well enough, I will hit the bench. Tomorrow I am hoping to begin digging into the living room. Oh, if I get that far, it'll be very light duty. Thankfully, much of the first part of the living room is light duty stuff... if that is the work I really hate. Organizing. Bleh.
Later.
.
When I finally went to sleep? I was fried well before I left town on my way home. Memory short circuits when I have gone that far. I tried to locate the time, and put it in memory. As I said though, I stopped being able to do that before I returned to pick up the charcoal. I probably looked a wee stricken. Foggy eyes, pasty paling skin, you know the look... in yourself, in others. I never caught a second wind. Ice water before bed, a bit of winding down, no food though. Just couldn't do one more damned thing. After the water, I don't remember much, even as roughly as I remember anything. All good. I need to find this place fairly often. It and pain are the clues that I am hitting the limits and then going beyond. It's the only way.
I woke at 2:00 or 3:00. In good shape. Tired, in a distant manner. Sore, but not in a place, just... sore, roughly around and about body and mind. Every muscle has just a mild sense that it has been stretched, pushed, pulled, just a bit out of kilter. But no one piece, place, or thing is more than the rest. I am guessing, just very roughly, that I went to bed somewhere between 17:00 and 19:00. My sleep it becoming pretty regular, right at eight to nine hours. Unless I end up taking two four to six hour naps in the day, but I didn't, so...
Sure, exercise has been what has been cut. And while I don't like that, it is the least functional thing. It won't always be what is cut, but this time, that was the decision. Once I get the cave in operating order, and am maintaining it, it will more often be projects that get cut. Until then, it will be exercise. Priorities.
Today, after I wake, I'll be hitting the kitchen. I am fairly close to having that about ready for mopping. Once there, I'll sweep, everything to be mopped, again, then hit the bathroom and niche with the mop. Then wait until that dries to vacate the kitchen and mop in there. I think I'll have it today... if I can squeeze the work out. I am definitely limping. Still, I think I can. If I can get to that, and feel well enough, I will hit the bench. Tomorrow I am hoping to begin digging into the living room. Oh, if I get that far, it'll be very light duty. Thankfully, much of the first part of the living room is light duty stuff... if that is the work I really hate. Organizing. Bleh.
Later.
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
It took all I had.
.
.
I wasn't sure I was going to get out. It's getting pretty warm, 70 by my thermometer outside near the door. Yeah, that's warm, for me. I am a bit worn out from fighting the lungs, too. Now I am coughing from time to time, but it's a dry cought. It'll get back in right form before long. I didn't get everything for everything, but then I hadn't planned on doing that. I bought the parts for a stick anchor... some assembly required. I then went to the grocery store, got what I wanted and noticed a few things were on sale, things I usually use anyway, so I stocked up just a bit. Hmm... but then I realized I had to go back and pick up charcoal. I should have done that while getting the bits and pieces. I was pushing just to be out though, so. Still, I almost dumped that task. Instead, I decided not to pick up mail.
Oh, yeah, I did get the checks in, and the gifts delivered. But I was done. I still had to unpack everything though. Yeah, it was rough. One of the things I bought was ice. Goes good with water on a day like today. I also bought grapes and cherries. I believe I'll have a small bowl of the latter after I cool a bit. Then, most likely, back to bed. I'm having to use the ac already, but that's fine. I've been using the fan for a while now. And I'll need to bring the other fan down from the attic for in here. Might get another one. Fans are okay, but a bit limited. Hmm... right, and perhaps begin working on a bucket humidifier, or two. I'm just not into heat. Thankfully I can handle the cold fairly well. Those people who can't handle much variance are in real trouble in the world.
Yeah... a bit of cooling off, some cherries, and then bedtime. I'll see what I can do when I wake. I'm still limping from overdoing, but I think I can get some smaller jobs done. Trying to keep working until the weekend. Ugh. Later.
.
I wasn't sure I was going to get out. It's getting pretty warm, 70 by my thermometer outside near the door. Yeah, that's warm, for me. I am a bit worn out from fighting the lungs, too. Now I am coughing from time to time, but it's a dry cought. It'll get back in right form before long. I didn't get everything for everything, but then I hadn't planned on doing that. I bought the parts for a stick anchor... some assembly required. I then went to the grocery store, got what I wanted and noticed a few things were on sale, things I usually use anyway, so I stocked up just a bit. Hmm... but then I realized I had to go back and pick up charcoal. I should have done that while getting the bits and pieces. I was pushing just to be out though, so. Still, I almost dumped that task. Instead, I decided not to pick up mail.
Oh, yeah, I did get the checks in, and the gifts delivered. But I was done. I still had to unpack everything though. Yeah, it was rough. One of the things I bought was ice. Goes good with water on a day like today. I also bought grapes and cherries. I believe I'll have a small bowl of the latter after I cool a bit. Then, most likely, back to bed. I'm having to use the ac already, but that's fine. I've been using the fan for a while now. And I'll need to bring the other fan down from the attic for in here. Might get another one. Fans are okay, but a bit limited. Hmm... right, and perhaps begin working on a bucket humidifier, or two. I'm just not into heat. Thankfully I can handle the cold fairly well. Those people who can't handle much variance are in real trouble in the world.
Yeah... a bit of cooling off, some cherries, and then bedtime. I'll see what I can do when I wake. I'm still limping from overdoing, but I think I can get some smaller jobs done. Trying to keep working until the weekend. Ugh. Later.
Wonderful.
.
.
While I didn't get any work done in the midnight to 6:00 shift, I seem to have taken care of the wet lungs and balanced hydration. The extra dose, then two thirty six ounce doses of gaterade sort of set things up. After that, two or three thirty six ouncers of water, and a lot of peeing, got it so that when I went to bed I was feeling more alive and breathing better. Waking about an hour ago, on an even keel ensured what I suspected. My guts still hurt from coughing as if I had been in a sparring match, with both hands tied behind my back. And I still cough, now and again. Just not constantly, or that deep into my gut and lungs.
I'll get a shower and bath in, then get going on some of my projects. I will be checking the mail, delivering gifts, dropping off the checks, shopping at both places, and then seeing how I am doing. If I still have mojo, I'll hit the kitchen, perhaps cook just a bit of meat for the rest of the week, and call it a day. I am hoping, at the very least, to cook. I'll just have to see when I finish with the rest. Yes, push, when I can. Gotta breath to push though. Ah, but I figured out one of the problems I may end up facing, from time to time. A little extra this, a little extra that, and... voila!
As for the pain? All good. This is minor stuff. But figuring it out will allow me to push into more severe forms of suffering. I won't get far just going up to pain, even to me severe pain, then backing off. Unless I make it to corporeal failure, from time to time, I am not going to make it. The escape trajectory is a monster climb. I'm going to have to be beating my body into submission, even drowning in what feels like failure, until I am used to that and able to fight right on through. That's just the way it goes. So, yeah, I enjoyed. More so that I figured it out, still tried to cut through down to a burnout, then figured out how to get past that. One down shift was all, and in that I was playing doctor, chemist, athlete, right over the failure. Now to get a bit more pushy about working on through failures. It'll take some time and new experience. And I really don't want to kill myself, so... taking some care until I see how, and what, works, is best.
Bath, shower... hmm... might shave first while I am at it. I feel like a puppy all over again! Later.
.
While I didn't get any work done in the midnight to 6:00 shift, I seem to have taken care of the wet lungs and balanced hydration. The extra dose, then two thirty six ounce doses of gaterade sort of set things up. After that, two or three thirty six ouncers of water, and a lot of peeing, got it so that when I went to bed I was feeling more alive and breathing better. Waking about an hour ago, on an even keel ensured what I suspected. My guts still hurt from coughing as if I had been in a sparring match, with both hands tied behind my back. And I still cough, now and again. Just not constantly, or that deep into my gut and lungs.
I'll get a shower and bath in, then get going on some of my projects. I will be checking the mail, delivering gifts, dropping off the checks, shopping at both places, and then seeing how I am doing. If I still have mojo, I'll hit the kitchen, perhaps cook just a bit of meat for the rest of the week, and call it a day. I am hoping, at the very least, to cook. I'll just have to see when I finish with the rest. Yes, push, when I can. Gotta breath to push though. Ah, but I figured out one of the problems I may end up facing, from time to time. A little extra this, a little extra that, and... voila!
As for the pain? All good. This is minor stuff. But figuring it out will allow me to push into more severe forms of suffering. I won't get far just going up to pain, even to me severe pain, then backing off. Unless I make it to corporeal failure, from time to time, I am not going to make it. The escape trajectory is a monster climb. I'm going to have to be beating my body into submission, even drowning in what feels like failure, until I am used to that and able to fight right on through. That's just the way it goes. So, yeah, I enjoyed. More so that I figured it out, still tried to cut through down to a burnout, then figured out how to get past that. One down shift was all, and in that I was playing doctor, chemist, athlete, right over the failure. Now to get a bit more pushy about working on through failures. It'll take some time and new experience. And I really don't want to kill myself, so... taking some care until I see how, and what, works, is best.
Bath, shower... hmm... might shave first while I am at it. I feel like a puppy all over again! Later.
While waking I like to brainstorm.
.
.
Sometimes I hit areas that I am directly working, such as tricks, hints, and alternative methods for gearing a kayak. Other times I hit other areas of general or specific intent or concern. This morning, I was on about scurvy. Yes, you have it right. A dread disease that, for the most part, in the Western world, is gone. It wasn't absolutely specific, my research, to scurvy... as it turns out. Their are many diseases that have gone away, due to good nutrition. Nice and all, but what if a garden is not possible in a grid down, or extended backwoods situation? How does one tend vitamin and mineral supplementation?
Currently I consume a slurry of vitamins. I won't say they are extremely effective. I will only say that life has improved with them. They do have a rather short shelf life, and there is some doubt about how much gets into the body even so. Though, to be absolutely honest, researchers seem to be coming to the conclusion that you really aren't what you eat. Consume lots of fats? If it's a healthy fat, honestly, you lose weight and drop fat from your body. Of course, assuming you are eating the right amounts of it, proportionally, to your body. And exercising, burning calories, in proportion to your particular bodies needs. Further, one shoe definitely does not fit all bodies. As with the weather man on your news channel or station... take a general read from him, but for spot on accuracy, look out your own window. Perhaps track barometric pressure for a day. Same with nutrition.
So, really, there isn't a silver bullet. Not from pills, not from food. You sort of have to calibrate yourself. Though, honestly, the only people who really have that kind of access to nutrition and physical fitness tables are athletes. Most husbands do not tinker with food. Most wives do not track their daily caloric burn, or that of their families. Nor can most. It's all give or take. Still, there are better and worse general options. Mine, so far, has been vitamins. And, I will probably continue with those. However, I may begin adding another option. Sprouting seed.
Sprouts aren't new to me, not exactly. Beside having eaten those, offered by women in my past... and more recently tried that with wheat berries on my own... I have heard of these things. When I saw the option, I really couldn't put much together about it all. I don't know more than, say, how to sprout one type of seed. Hmm, I will be considering adding that to my diet again, as well, come to think of it. But for other types of seed, I know very little. I am currently digging to find out about longer term storage for those seeds, whether that is possible, what the limits might be, and such. It would be good to be able to have seeds I could sprout, with a shelf life of at least a couple years. In Alaska, I would have to figure out how to keep them from freezing, should I be out for days to a week. Though I want to learn that trick for more than just seeds. Batteries are good to have, but a long freeze would kill them too.
Yes, I'm trying to put together a plan, and implement parts of it as I go. If sprouts checks out as a potential vitamin and mineral source, I may well begin putting that into practice, working up a dose/mix, and begin eating that. If it works well enough, I might even cut some of the pill forms of vitamins. Everything is poison at a high enough dose, mind you. Still, having pill backups for when I can't sprout isn't a bad plan. Yeah... I'm really putting some effort into this program. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. Even with the lung thing, I'll get around, past, through, over, or under that block before long. Pacing would help, but so would the right foods. Later.
.
Sometimes I hit areas that I am directly working, such as tricks, hints, and alternative methods for gearing a kayak. Other times I hit other areas of general or specific intent or concern. This morning, I was on about scurvy. Yes, you have it right. A dread disease that, for the most part, in the Western world, is gone. It wasn't absolutely specific, my research, to scurvy... as it turns out. Their are many diseases that have gone away, due to good nutrition. Nice and all, but what if a garden is not possible in a grid down, or extended backwoods situation? How does one tend vitamin and mineral supplementation?
Currently I consume a slurry of vitamins. I won't say they are extremely effective. I will only say that life has improved with them. They do have a rather short shelf life, and there is some doubt about how much gets into the body even so. Though, to be absolutely honest, researchers seem to be coming to the conclusion that you really aren't what you eat. Consume lots of fats? If it's a healthy fat, honestly, you lose weight and drop fat from your body. Of course, assuming you are eating the right amounts of it, proportionally, to your body. And exercising, burning calories, in proportion to your particular bodies needs. Further, one shoe definitely does not fit all bodies. As with the weather man on your news channel or station... take a general read from him, but for spot on accuracy, look out your own window. Perhaps track barometric pressure for a day. Same with nutrition.
So, really, there isn't a silver bullet. Not from pills, not from food. You sort of have to calibrate yourself. Though, honestly, the only people who really have that kind of access to nutrition and physical fitness tables are athletes. Most husbands do not tinker with food. Most wives do not track their daily caloric burn, or that of their families. Nor can most. It's all give or take. Still, there are better and worse general options. Mine, so far, has been vitamins. And, I will probably continue with those. However, I may begin adding another option. Sprouting seed.
Sprouts aren't new to me, not exactly. Beside having eaten those, offered by women in my past... and more recently tried that with wheat berries on my own... I have heard of these things. When I saw the option, I really couldn't put much together about it all. I don't know more than, say, how to sprout one type of seed. Hmm, I will be considering adding that to my diet again, as well, come to think of it. But for other types of seed, I know very little. I am currently digging to find out about longer term storage for those seeds, whether that is possible, what the limits might be, and such. It would be good to be able to have seeds I could sprout, with a shelf life of at least a couple years. In Alaska, I would have to figure out how to keep them from freezing, should I be out for days to a week. Though I want to learn that trick for more than just seeds. Batteries are good to have, but a long freeze would kill them too.
Yes, I'm trying to put together a plan, and implement parts of it as I go. If sprouts checks out as a potential vitamin and mineral source, I may well begin putting that into practice, working up a dose/mix, and begin eating that. If it works well enough, I might even cut some of the pill forms of vitamins. Everything is poison at a high enough dose, mind you. Still, having pill backups for when I can't sprout isn't a bad plan. Yeah... I'm really putting some effort into this program. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. Even with the lung thing, I'll get around, past, through, over, or under that block before long. Pacing would help, but so would the right foods. Later.
Midnight.
.
.
Yeah, well, I wake when I wake, I guess. And then I will do what I can. My lungs are feeling better. I can now take breaths deep enough that it flexes my ribcage enough to just tickle-hurt the muscles. That's a good thing, or better than the option most recently available. For the last few days, filling my lungs half full would commit me to a few minutes of coughing, I presume in an attempt to flush fluids. My lungs aren't completely dry, even so. But I am not perpetually at the level of coughing. Now just once in a while. Unfortunately, my body itself is super-dehydrated. Not sure how I will work with this kink, exactly. I'll be upping my daily dose, not doubling, going forward. And I am backing down just that bit, or more as needed, until I find some kind of middle ground. Most likely, I am simply going to have to suffer through it, hoping to eventually get past it or simple be able to deal with it.
Heavier exercise is off for the week. I need to see how this is going to go. Limping to the weekend finish line is just about what I can do. Though, this is into the third week without a real single true day off. Not bad, truly. I would like to do some cleaning, if I am awake for sure. Shopping in the morning, plus check and gift delivery, plus collecting my mail. First I do need to hydrate a bit. I keep some gaterade around just for this. I may have pickle juice too... it's actually far superior, if I have it. Though, at this point, I probably need a bit too much to depend on either alone. Ah... I'll definitely add pickles to my shopping list. I rarely eat the pickles, but the juice, for me, is unparalleled as to hydrating a parched body. I prefer the juice with big hearty chunks of garlic, dill seed, and other gunk. Don't know that those things help, they just add texture which I simply enjoy. An half cup, to cup, of that, and no matter how dry I am, it gets me back into moisture by the next day, or within eight hours if I have to be awake.
So... on light duty, the goal is to finish off the back areas of my cave by Friday. If I finish sooner, then on to the living room. Either way, Saturday and Sunday need to be taken off, cleanly. I need rest, real rest, and then to make that a regular and sure thing. Perhaps Monday I will begin putting exercise back into the lineup. Not optimal, not how the plans were set, but then I knew failure was not just possible, but probable, and I pushed well beyond indicators. And I am still doing something. I'll take it. A learning event. I am still getting stronger. Ah, more fluid. Thirsty! Need ice, but it's on the list. Later.
.
Yeah, well, I wake when I wake, I guess. And then I will do what I can. My lungs are feeling better. I can now take breaths deep enough that it flexes my ribcage enough to just tickle-hurt the muscles. That's a good thing, or better than the option most recently available. For the last few days, filling my lungs half full would commit me to a few minutes of coughing, I presume in an attempt to flush fluids. My lungs aren't completely dry, even so. But I am not perpetually at the level of coughing. Now just once in a while. Unfortunately, my body itself is super-dehydrated. Not sure how I will work with this kink, exactly. I'll be upping my daily dose, not doubling, going forward. And I am backing down just that bit, or more as needed, until I find some kind of middle ground. Most likely, I am simply going to have to suffer through it, hoping to eventually get past it or simple be able to deal with it.
Heavier exercise is off for the week. I need to see how this is going to go. Limping to the weekend finish line is just about what I can do. Though, this is into the third week without a real single true day off. Not bad, truly. I would like to do some cleaning, if I am awake for sure. Shopping in the morning, plus check and gift delivery, plus collecting my mail. First I do need to hydrate a bit. I keep some gaterade around just for this. I may have pickle juice too... it's actually far superior, if I have it. Though, at this point, I probably need a bit too much to depend on either alone. Ah... I'll definitely add pickles to my shopping list. I rarely eat the pickles, but the juice, for me, is unparalleled as to hydrating a parched body. I prefer the juice with big hearty chunks of garlic, dill seed, and other gunk. Don't know that those things help, they just add texture which I simply enjoy. An half cup, to cup, of that, and no matter how dry I am, it gets me back into moisture by the next day, or within eight hours if I have to be awake.
So... on light duty, the goal is to finish off the back areas of my cave by Friday. If I finish sooner, then on to the living room. Either way, Saturday and Sunday need to be taken off, cleanly. I need rest, real rest, and then to make that a regular and sure thing. Perhaps Monday I will begin putting exercise back into the lineup. Not optimal, not how the plans were set, but then I knew failure was not just possible, but probable, and I pushed well beyond indicators. And I am still doing something. I'll take it. A learning event. I am still getting stronger. Ah, more fluid. Thirsty! Need ice, but it's on the list. Later.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Walking pneumonia?
.
.
No, but it's beginning to feel like it. What has happened is I have caused wet lung. It's not nearly as bad as it was when I went into the hospital that first time with it, where I was persistently panting. But it isn't good either. Water pills, eventually, worked that out. They have worked, until now, to solve that problem. Either I am causing extra fluid to dump from the heart or drinking more fluid, or just not voiding enough, so that my lungs are getting very wet. I took an extra dose this afternoon, just a bit ago though. And I will be increasing my dose tomorrow. Tons of snot, coughing from wet lungs, and some minor breathing impairment, is what is happening. Meaning I have become extra tired.
No, I didn't make it to the trail. After the shower and a few other tidbits, I ended up back in bed. I woke for supper, but may go back to bed again. Just a kink in the plans, one of many that I knew could happen, and will have to figure out. I'm not quitting, just... backing off a bit more while experimenting with the medications to cover the flaws. Too tired to do more than eat supper and then probably go back to bed again for a bit, taking night meds as I go. I'll see if I can hit the kitchen when I wake. I'll back off exercise until the extra fluid has been dealt with. Hopefully a little work each day until this weekend, then I will take some serious downtime. No complaints, I'm working with a nearly dead body. There had to be some problems, especially trying to push through for two weeks without any real days off. At least at this stage of quickening. It was fun while it lasted. Haven't lived, worked, and played like that for decades.
Oh, I'll tell you, that bath and shower combo is one of the finest things I have enjoyed in a very long time. Since I'm slowing down on purpose, I may do another of those tomorrow. Oh, and I may pull out the french braid videos and begin working on that, as a downtime thing, along with continuing with the kitchen, bath, and niche area cleaning. That I can do in small enough bits, as needed. Great, beside that ticklishly annoying cough and wet lungs, I know have the hiccups! Bleh. I'll survive. Later.
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Nice! I think that extra dose of water pill is clearing things up. I'm still down from tough breathing, and I'll want to drink a good load of water to make sure... well... that everything continues to work, and then works through to a balance... extreme dehydration isn't better than extreme hydration. Balance. Just an half hour after taking the stuff, though, and... better. The cough, which I think was trying to removed the fluid from my lungs, has quieted a great deal. Still an itch to cough, just not a compulsion, mostly.
.
No, but it's beginning to feel like it. What has happened is I have caused wet lung. It's not nearly as bad as it was when I went into the hospital that first time with it, where I was persistently panting. But it isn't good either. Water pills, eventually, worked that out. They have worked, until now, to solve that problem. Either I am causing extra fluid to dump from the heart or drinking more fluid, or just not voiding enough, so that my lungs are getting very wet. I took an extra dose this afternoon, just a bit ago though. And I will be increasing my dose tomorrow. Tons of snot, coughing from wet lungs, and some minor breathing impairment, is what is happening. Meaning I have become extra tired.
No, I didn't make it to the trail. After the shower and a few other tidbits, I ended up back in bed. I woke for supper, but may go back to bed again. Just a kink in the plans, one of many that I knew could happen, and will have to figure out. I'm not quitting, just... backing off a bit more while experimenting with the medications to cover the flaws. Too tired to do more than eat supper and then probably go back to bed again for a bit, taking night meds as I go. I'll see if I can hit the kitchen when I wake. I'll back off exercise until the extra fluid has been dealt with. Hopefully a little work each day until this weekend, then I will take some serious downtime. No complaints, I'm working with a nearly dead body. There had to be some problems, especially trying to push through for two weeks without any real days off. At least at this stage of quickening. It was fun while it lasted. Haven't lived, worked, and played like that for decades.
Oh, I'll tell you, that bath and shower combo is one of the finest things I have enjoyed in a very long time. Since I'm slowing down on purpose, I may do another of those tomorrow. Oh, and I may pull out the french braid videos and begin working on that, as a downtime thing, along with continuing with the kitchen, bath, and niche area cleaning. That I can do in small enough bits, as needed. Great, beside that ticklishly annoying cough and wet lungs, I know have the hiccups! Bleh. I'll survive. Later.
---------
Nice! I think that extra dose of water pill is clearing things up. I'm still down from tough breathing, and I'll want to drink a good load of water to make sure... well... that everything continues to work, and then works through to a balance... extreme dehydration isn't better than extreme hydration. Balance. Just an half hour after taking the stuff, though, and... better. The cough, which I think was trying to removed the fluid from my lungs, has quieted a great deal. Still an itch to cough, just not a compulsion, mostly.
I did say I was going to slow down.
.
.
After breakfast and medicine, I collected my checkbook and got busy. I don't think I'll be going to Alaska next summer, but you never know. So I filled out checks to past when I would return from a summer visit. Just in case. I also made a grocery list. I didn't put down the stuff for the pole anchor. Other than a dowel and a huge nail or sharpened bolt, the rest of the stuff is needed for a sun block top anyway. I'm not sure which shopping I will do today, if any.
I then went to take a shower, but all my cast was in there. It was all somewhat rusted, but with lots of fats in there. My very bad. That was a heck of a mess to tend before then being even able to take a shower, then bath. Usually I heat the pans, then get the fat out with a paper towel, THEN soak in medium hot water before using steel wool to clean and a paper towel to dry. It was a project that got lost on my way to the burn, then didn't get done until today. As the kitchen was getting messed with, it was found and finally found itself right in the way. All good. Otherwise it would have been... a while again... before I would have got to it. After I dry them out and set them up, I should be ready for bacon once in a while.
I'm going to just air dry for an hour or two, have a pair, and slowly dress so as to be on the trail by 14:00 or so. If I shop, I'll do that on the way back. Same, actually, with the gifts, dropping off the checks, and checking my mail. Later, always later... on days like this. I have a good shot at some of it. Checks, gifts, and at least one shopping run should happen, beside the hike. Later.
.
After breakfast and medicine, I collected my checkbook and got busy. I don't think I'll be going to Alaska next summer, but you never know. So I filled out checks to past when I would return from a summer visit. Just in case. I also made a grocery list. I didn't put down the stuff for the pole anchor. Other than a dowel and a huge nail or sharpened bolt, the rest of the stuff is needed for a sun block top anyway. I'm not sure which shopping I will do today, if any.
I then went to take a shower, but all my cast was in there. It was all somewhat rusted, but with lots of fats in there. My very bad. That was a heck of a mess to tend before then being even able to take a shower, then bath. Usually I heat the pans, then get the fat out with a paper towel, THEN soak in medium hot water before using steel wool to clean and a paper towel to dry. It was a project that got lost on my way to the burn, then didn't get done until today. As the kitchen was getting messed with, it was found and finally found itself right in the way. All good. Otherwise it would have been... a while again... before I would have got to it. After I dry them out and set them up, I should be ready for bacon once in a while.
I'm going to just air dry for an hour or two, have a pair, and slowly dress so as to be on the trail by 14:00 or so. If I shop, I'll do that on the way back. Same, actually, with the gifts, dropping off the checks, and checking my mail. Later, always later... on days like this. I have a good shot at some of it. Checks, gifts, and at least one shopping run should happen, beside the hike. Later.
Still on the edge.
.
.
I have pushed too far. As I mentioned, that doesn't mean I am going to stop. I am simply going to take things a little more slowly. I couldn't sleep until about 1:00. I thought about setting the alarm, but with such a long "nap" yesterday but combined with overdoing things, I didn't want to over or under sleep. I figured I would wake when it was right, which turned out to be at about 5:00.
I almost started in on housework. That won't happen today, not as a first thing. Instead I had breakfast and medicine, watched an episode of one of the shows I now have on tap, plus coffee. I will be taking it easy this morning. The only thing I want to do before heading out later in the morning is to take a shower, then bath, and get checks written out for utilities. I found extra checks last night, but was running out of steam beyond that. I'll write out about a year in advance, put them in an envelope, and put them in the paybox as I leave town. I suppose I could check my mail, either as I go or more likely on my way back.
My pack is rigged to go. I know I wanted to do some shopping, I just can't remember what I wanted. One thing I was considering outright buying I have now decided to just make... a pole anchor. I know what I need for that, some of it I have though too. Fresh fruit would be good. I have been eating one piece each day, for either breakfast of lunch. Nothing fancy, but it works. The rest I will need to check on previous posts and whatever I might have put in my smartphone on the list already. Shopping will be after the hike. Just what I can do. I'll be back in town at least one more time this week.
I have to go a bit slower. I don't mind pushing, but vomiting is not going to help. Dehydration and some other things would become a problem. I remember football camp and basketball practice for the first few weeks, as a freshman and sophomore... By the junior and senior years, between doing my own prep for those, and perhaps being a little more mature of body, were better. Then again, in the service. Don't remember where or what, but yeah... I remember working to, and through, vomiting. It's been a while since I pushed that hard. My body wouldn't let me. Something has changed. Motive? That is only a small part of it. Something else... it's in the air? Maybe. But my body is in better shape. Still, the goal isn't to keep the motor on the redline. Nice to see I can hit it, as little as that took mind you. But now I need to ease off to find a sustainable use rate, then keep and expand that. A bit longer this time, a bit higher the next, just keeping it going until something cracks open or breaks, then dealing with that.
Hiking... From near the first, hopefully to the third, dam. And back, of course. Then a bit of shopping. On my way out, I will do two things... deliver utility checks and deliver a small gift. On the way back I will check my mail. After a good rest, maybe a nap if needed, I'll hit the kitchen a bit. Tomorrow is a day at home. I will hit the kitchen, and hopefully be ready to mop all the areas, put things back as it dries, and maybe hit the bench in the evening, or later at night after rest or sleep. I will wear the weight vest for part of tomorrow.
Who knows. Eventually I might be able to push through full days, with just a few ethical breaks for reasonable periods. Coughing my lungs up from the pushing. Not sure if that is involved with vomiting or not. Doesn't seem like it, but there are times when those seem to be connected. It's a beautiful thing, in it's own way. I'll check my bp in a few days, and blood sugars. I'm curious if any of this is even having an affect, or yet. Later.
.
I have pushed too far. As I mentioned, that doesn't mean I am going to stop. I am simply going to take things a little more slowly. I couldn't sleep until about 1:00. I thought about setting the alarm, but with such a long "nap" yesterday but combined with overdoing things, I didn't want to over or under sleep. I figured I would wake when it was right, which turned out to be at about 5:00.
I almost started in on housework. That won't happen today, not as a first thing. Instead I had breakfast and medicine, watched an episode of one of the shows I now have on tap, plus coffee. I will be taking it easy this morning. The only thing I want to do before heading out later in the morning is to take a shower, then bath, and get checks written out for utilities. I found extra checks last night, but was running out of steam beyond that. I'll write out about a year in advance, put them in an envelope, and put them in the paybox as I leave town. I suppose I could check my mail, either as I go or more likely on my way back.
My pack is rigged to go. I know I wanted to do some shopping, I just can't remember what I wanted. One thing I was considering outright buying I have now decided to just make... a pole anchor. I know what I need for that, some of it I have though too. Fresh fruit would be good. I have been eating one piece each day, for either breakfast of lunch. Nothing fancy, but it works. The rest I will need to check on previous posts and whatever I might have put in my smartphone on the list already. Shopping will be after the hike. Just what I can do. I'll be back in town at least one more time this week.
I have to go a bit slower. I don't mind pushing, but vomiting is not going to help. Dehydration and some other things would become a problem. I remember football camp and basketball practice for the first few weeks, as a freshman and sophomore... By the junior and senior years, between doing my own prep for those, and perhaps being a little more mature of body, were better. Then again, in the service. Don't remember where or what, but yeah... I remember working to, and through, vomiting. It's been a while since I pushed that hard. My body wouldn't let me. Something has changed. Motive? That is only a small part of it. Something else... it's in the air? Maybe. But my body is in better shape. Still, the goal isn't to keep the motor on the redline. Nice to see I can hit it, as little as that took mind you. But now I need to ease off to find a sustainable use rate, then keep and expand that. A bit longer this time, a bit higher the next, just keeping it going until something cracks open or breaks, then dealing with that.
Hiking... From near the first, hopefully to the third, dam. And back, of course. Then a bit of shopping. On my way out, I will do two things... deliver utility checks and deliver a small gift. On the way back I will check my mail. After a good rest, maybe a nap if needed, I'll hit the kitchen a bit. Tomorrow is a day at home. I will hit the kitchen, and hopefully be ready to mop all the areas, put things back as it dries, and maybe hit the bench in the evening, or later at night after rest or sleep. I will wear the weight vest for part of tomorrow.
Who knows. Eventually I might be able to push through full days, with just a few ethical breaks for reasonable periods. Coughing my lungs up from the pushing. Not sure if that is involved with vomiting or not. Doesn't seem like it, but there are times when those seem to be connected. It's a beautiful thing, in it's own way. I'll check my bp in a few days, and blood sugars. I'm curious if any of this is even having an affect, or yet. Later.
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