.
.
I have been working on the machine for a while. I was able to get what could be done without being grounded yesterday. Last night I snuck out for both a meal and a power bar. I wasn't sure I wanted to work on the machine today. It took a good long time to wake and become functional, longer than I thought. I finally became aware enough to begin tinkering.
Between what the various devices, including the case, provide, and the various manuals from the manufacturer... it is very difficult to make heads or tails of things. Beyond, it seems that each device might well be at a different tech level. For example, perhaps the case has wiring set for a certain sort of sound connection and the motherboard has a different connection. Neither manual, in this case, is telling me what to do. The board has a label by what seems to be the sound connection, but doesn't discuss that in the book. The case manual offers less. I remember this from the first time, but thought youtube would make this process easier. So far, not really. There are some areas youtube does have vids regarding, some it doesn't.
I am building the motherboard outside of the case first. I have the cpu and memory in, the larger duel fan cpu cooler in (youtube was great for that... that was a bear, but with advice from some guy I was able to do that in much shorter time, and much easier, that what he and most others would go through without advice). I have some of the connections for the front panel on, though between the instructions in the booklet and manual vs what they offer at youtube (which are contrary), I am not sure about those. I am not sure about the pci connection through the front panel either. That looks like it goes to a sata III, but... I haven't started tracking that down yet. I want to make sure I have the front panel right, then work on those odd extras. I may have to skip the sata to the front panel, at least for now. With four ssd's and two hybrids, I pretty much have used all of my native sata connections. I'll bet they make a small pci-e card with additional internal sata connections though?
Not bad, really. It does help to have a second machine to look things up. Well, and not have to worry about not being able to hop online, even just to blog out what I am doing. It can help to have folks know and prey. Well, and I pulled an update for the bios onto a thumb drive while I was at it. That may be the best way to get updates. This machine isn't for online. Though if I can figure out how to use linux, say, to get on and off, and install/update, I may use it from time to time. Just keep images, several layers of them, for the machine and be prepared to lose everything in order to get the machine functioning again. Even with safety arrangements, with a company as big and powerful as Microsoft trying to force us into software we don't want it will be difficult to keep them off my machine. Fry it all, if need be, and start over. As often as it takes.
Well, on to a bit more research. I am guessing some things should be pretty... standard, across brand and type of device. It's just a matter of finding the information. They really want you to buy whole systems, especially with MS and probably the government both trying to shove win 10 at us now. So they may be hiding this sort of information. I'll more. Yeah. I have already looked. But not quite as specifically so I might have just missed it. Later.
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
Monday, November 2, 2015
I've suggested.
.
.
There is great doubt even so. I probably shouldn't, as you, as usual, even if you choose to, and are capable to, understand you will miss the full picture. Oh well, I will go for it.
.
There is great doubt even so. I probably shouldn't, as you, as usual, even if you choose to, and are capable to, understand you will miss the full picture. Oh well, I will go for it.
Serusly?
.
.
Yeah, well, yeah. I didn't go to sleep until... right at 8:00... depending of whether the daylight savings has corrupted the official time yet or not. My computer says it has, but none of my other, supposedly, dls sensitive clocks or watches have reset. I'll... figure that out sooner or later. I would outlaw daylight savings and have the men and their families who invented that forced to live on a swing shift life schedule until they admit they were wrong. Well, and every bureaucrat and politician who helped along the way. Of course, that would just be the beginning. The politicians and bureaucrats who corrupted many things would be punished or exiled going back in history. The Kennedys would once again be Irish, but be living in North Korea, where their sort of politics is mandated. Things like that.
Anyway. I woke at 15:00, give or take, depending on if dls is in play or not, and all. I reset the dishes first thing. I want a shower, boys and girls. Didn't get one yesterday. Could have used it then, need it now. Then I realized the ssd's might be in, and they were. I was in my shortest of shorts. Still being only half awake, I looked at the package, for a bit, and whined. I couldn't go out, as things... stood. But I couldn't think what else to do. Finally, it hit me. Pj bottoms. Problem solved.
While the dishes were dealing with a fresh soak, and after dressing enough to reach the package, I brought them in and looked them over. Then I cracked open the case, brought the 2.5" sleds out, and began figuring out how to install. At first I thought the manufacturer of the case had made a mistake, suggesting the sleds would hold two ssd's. Then I flipped one of the ssd's over. Ah, holes not just on the side, but on the back. This I should have known. I have seen cases which have indentions specifically for ssd's on the motherboard panel, to be mounted through the panel, which means holes on the flat. Still, knowing and doing are two different things, especially the first time you functionally work with an item. You have to not only intellectually, but physically (sort of) learn. Odd how that is, at least for me. Sometimes it is natively intuitive, thankfully, just not this time. Then again, I had just awoken, so...
Yes, all rigged. All I really need to do is get a multioutlet with some spike shielding. I have a power cord if I need a little more distance from the plug. Then I can arrange the grounding then connect the motherboard, and set it all up outside of the case to make sure it all works, and posts. If that all works, then I can begin installation. Somethings can fail, and that be just fine. Some things have to work for the build to succeed. If even two of the ssd's work, I am good. Even if both of the hybrids fail, that is fine as they are just mass storage, not OS related. Memory has to work.
There is a lot you can't understand, directly, about these machines. You really have to do research. Thankfully there is youtube. That only helps to a degree. Ignore opinions, look for someone who has access to enough parts, software, and experience, to actually know what questions to ask, and how to answer those questions. For example, many people believe that quad sli (four video cards working together) will offer the best performance, or that an eight core system would be more powerful. Actually with the quad sli, that simply isn't true... as a general rule. Some games are arranged to use that, but even so the difference between the best and worst fps rates becomes an issue the more cards there are. It's only good for two cards, as a general rule. And that still isn't as good as a more powerful card. The reason I consider that is, for me, and my budget, the trade-off is acceptable, and two cards is the best of the worst. As for eight core? That is better but only at some things. For gaming you would absolutely have to overclock to make that pay (and, thankfully, that does overclock, for the intel chip anyway). But stock it isn't as good. Even overclocked, many games may not really make use of the extra cores, those being almost more of a drag than a boon. If you are into video editing? Yeah, there you go. But for gaming, no. The price to performance simply isn't there.
I have been chewing through as much information, cross checking that, figuring and learning. Things change, so what was true a couple years ago, or even last year, may not still hold. Though there are reasons to know more recent history. Realizing that there is a difference will lead to learning what has changed and why, perhaps. And that gives you a leg up on the next change. What it means, and why it was changed. It takes a great deal to be out ahead of the industry, from power supply to ram speed to pci-e slots. And you really won't ever be. No matter how true it seems on paper, it still has to be jacked in, sometimes made to run despite itself, then tested. Some things that should be butter from paper specs simply do not function in reality, or not well.
I may never be a pro. I simply like being aware enough to tinker, build my own, and such. It is my version of sports. Only, as a general rule, I don't have to worry about one of my "teams" throwing the game for individual fear or payoffs. I do have some worry about one of the teams getting lazy, or greedy, in other ways. But there are enough fans who will boo loudly enough that even my rheumy ears catch wind. Though, sometimes, fan boys will be fan boys, and perfection will be demanded that just can't really work. Well, and, sometimes, what is is.
After I get this going, my next move is to update, secure, add linux, and set up in other ways this (the one I am using right now) computer for a more secure online use. The gaming rig isn't for online. Anything I need, after initialization of some things, will be gotten through this machine, downloads, and a thumb drive. With a little care and tweaking, this ancient computer can last another four or five years. More if components last, if I may have to switch purely to linux if windows keeps up it's queer intolerance to the free-market and forces it's old OS's off the page, one way or another.
Oh... right... Dishes were finished, machine is as complete as possible without a trip to town. But a shower is needed. I just... need a bit of sit time to wake. What a rush, though, already. Too asleep to have realized how much I did end up rushing. Cool. Didn't wear me out, I'm just back to normal waking routines is all. A bit of time, a shower, a bit more time, then... who knows. Might get a decent part of the machine together tonight. I will be taking it slow though, and just doing a few very specific things at a time... say... cpu install, then sata III connections, then take a break. Then come back and connect the board to the power button and speakers so I have those controls. Just a bit at a time, so I really know what and were with a clear mind. Yeah, you can sort of do it all in a nebulous cloud... but that is better if you have a lot more, and more current, experience. For now I need to keep it simple, and have the instructions fresh.
Later.
.
Yeah, well, yeah. I didn't go to sleep until... right at 8:00... depending of whether the daylight savings has corrupted the official time yet or not. My computer says it has, but none of my other, supposedly, dls sensitive clocks or watches have reset. I'll... figure that out sooner or later. I would outlaw daylight savings and have the men and their families who invented that forced to live on a swing shift life schedule until they admit they were wrong. Well, and every bureaucrat and politician who helped along the way. Of course, that would just be the beginning. The politicians and bureaucrats who corrupted many things would be punished or exiled going back in history. The Kennedys would once again be Irish, but be living in North Korea, where their sort of politics is mandated. Things like that.
Anyway. I woke at 15:00, give or take, depending on if dls is in play or not, and all. I reset the dishes first thing. I want a shower, boys and girls. Didn't get one yesterday. Could have used it then, need it now. Then I realized the ssd's might be in, and they were. I was in my shortest of shorts. Still being only half awake, I looked at the package, for a bit, and whined. I couldn't go out, as things... stood. But I couldn't think what else to do. Finally, it hit me. Pj bottoms. Problem solved.
While the dishes were dealing with a fresh soak, and after dressing enough to reach the package, I brought them in and looked them over. Then I cracked open the case, brought the 2.5" sleds out, and began figuring out how to install. At first I thought the manufacturer of the case had made a mistake, suggesting the sleds would hold two ssd's. Then I flipped one of the ssd's over. Ah, holes not just on the side, but on the back. This I should have known. I have seen cases which have indentions specifically for ssd's on the motherboard panel, to be mounted through the panel, which means holes on the flat. Still, knowing and doing are two different things, especially the first time you functionally work with an item. You have to not only intellectually, but physically (sort of) learn. Odd how that is, at least for me. Sometimes it is natively intuitive, thankfully, just not this time. Then again, I had just awoken, so...
Yes, all rigged. All I really need to do is get a multioutlet with some spike shielding. I have a power cord if I need a little more distance from the plug. Then I can arrange the grounding then connect the motherboard, and set it all up outside of the case to make sure it all works, and posts. If that all works, then I can begin installation. Somethings can fail, and that be just fine. Some things have to work for the build to succeed. If even two of the ssd's work, I am good. Even if both of the hybrids fail, that is fine as they are just mass storage, not OS related. Memory has to work.
There is a lot you can't understand, directly, about these machines. You really have to do research. Thankfully there is youtube. That only helps to a degree. Ignore opinions, look for someone who has access to enough parts, software, and experience, to actually know what questions to ask, and how to answer those questions. For example, many people believe that quad sli (four video cards working together) will offer the best performance, or that an eight core system would be more powerful. Actually with the quad sli, that simply isn't true... as a general rule. Some games are arranged to use that, but even so the difference between the best and worst fps rates becomes an issue the more cards there are. It's only good for two cards, as a general rule. And that still isn't as good as a more powerful card. The reason I consider that is, for me, and my budget, the trade-off is acceptable, and two cards is the best of the worst. As for eight core? That is better but only at some things. For gaming you would absolutely have to overclock to make that pay (and, thankfully, that does overclock, for the intel chip anyway). But stock it isn't as good. Even overclocked, many games may not really make use of the extra cores, those being almost more of a drag than a boon. If you are into video editing? Yeah, there you go. But for gaming, no. The price to performance simply isn't there.
I have been chewing through as much information, cross checking that, figuring and learning. Things change, so what was true a couple years ago, or even last year, may not still hold. Though there are reasons to know more recent history. Realizing that there is a difference will lead to learning what has changed and why, perhaps. And that gives you a leg up on the next change. What it means, and why it was changed. It takes a great deal to be out ahead of the industry, from power supply to ram speed to pci-e slots. And you really won't ever be. No matter how true it seems on paper, it still has to be jacked in, sometimes made to run despite itself, then tested. Some things that should be butter from paper specs simply do not function in reality, or not well.
I may never be a pro. I simply like being aware enough to tinker, build my own, and such. It is my version of sports. Only, as a general rule, I don't have to worry about one of my "teams" throwing the game for individual fear or payoffs. I do have some worry about one of the teams getting lazy, or greedy, in other ways. But there are enough fans who will boo loudly enough that even my rheumy ears catch wind. Though, sometimes, fan boys will be fan boys, and perfection will be demanded that just can't really work. Well, and, sometimes, what is is.
After I get this going, my next move is to update, secure, add linux, and set up in other ways this (the one I am using right now) computer for a more secure online use. The gaming rig isn't for online. Anything I need, after initialization of some things, will be gotten through this machine, downloads, and a thumb drive. With a little care and tweaking, this ancient computer can last another four or five years. More if components last, if I may have to switch purely to linux if windows keeps up it's queer intolerance to the free-market and forces it's old OS's off the page, one way or another.
Oh... right... Dishes were finished, machine is as complete as possible without a trip to town. But a shower is needed. I just... need a bit of sit time to wake. What a rush, though, already. Too asleep to have realized how much I did end up rushing. Cool. Didn't wear me out, I'm just back to normal waking routines is all. A bit of time, a shower, a bit more time, then... who knows. Might get a decent part of the machine together tonight. I will be taking it slow though, and just doing a few very specific things at a time... say... cpu install, then sata III connections, then take a break. Then come back and connect the board to the power button and speakers so I have those controls. Just a bit at a time, so I really know what and were with a clear mind. Yeah, you can sort of do it all in a nebulous cloud... but that is better if you have a lot more, and more current, experience. For now I need to keep it simple, and have the instructions fresh.
Later.
Sunday, November 1, 2015
Yeah, well...
.
.
I didn't get back to the dishes, so no shower yet. I did open up the space for tinkering with the computer. I laid out the anti-static mat, hooked up the various connections for the various bands and other grounds, if they aren't yet hooked up to the power supply, nor is that plugged in. I then set up the components and case for easy access.
While I was at it, I decided to do some of the minor things which do not require me being grounded. I changed out two of the 230 mm fans. Actually I changed them all out. I had hoped to put a blue one on the front panel and side panel. Nope. The front panel simply didn't have mounting holes that worked with the new fan. I must have spent an hour trying various alignments, comparing it to the fan I removed, and just... working everything I could imagine. It simply would not fit. I didn't give up so much as realize that without some dubious physical modding, it just would not fit. And the modding? I could always use small bungee cord or the material and a little imagination. It would always be a bit doubtful. I'd have to use the small gauge bungee cords that look like parachute cord. Some come with balls, with which to wrap and tighten. Hmm. I may have some of those somewhere. I might just try it. The trick is to get it tight enough that there is no rattling! That is unnerving.
I also put in the two blu-ray drives. Yes, writers. They (manufacturers and makers, big and small) are pushing people away from discs. They want us to download everything. Some of it is to be green (a fiction) or to push downloading software (supposed to secure patents, copyrights, and such, but just as often a way to break into your computer for any number of reasons, and not in your favor in any way save lazy convenience). Don't do it, boy! Force them to offer cd/dvd/blu-ray discs. If you don't own a copy, do you even honestly own the software? No. You are renting, and that rent is subject to their changing the rules at any time, potentially requires being online to even use "their" software, and their stuff might remove software you have put on it if it thinks you shouldn't have it... software unrelated to it. Yeah, I'll keep those drives. And I might begin learning to crack. If they want war, they'll get it.
I also added the hybrid drives. I did a few other odds and ends as well. Installing the 120 mm fan for video card cooling shield (not vital now, but I'll be doing sli/xfire when my card's price drops $100, then it will be needed), then reinstalled the shield, installed the power supply, and just gave the case and some of the other components a once over, as I think about how to keep the installation clean. Hiding wires can be easy or not. Sometimes, no matter what, something just doesn't, and can't be made to, look just right.
Yes, I really enjoy this sort of thing. It is risky, which is something I do enjoy. It is technical, if in a more minor way. I would say there is more tech in figuring out what runs best with what, aiming and tweaking the building, listening to pro's but not just following like a complete tool, and such. Putting it together is minor work. The real work is using the mind to begin with, and learning what these things actually mean. Some suggest that you aren't really tech unless you know how these things work. The problem, and argument, I have with that notion is... I don't think even the manufacturers honestly know how these things work. They know, sort of, mostly, that they can get certain functions from the electronic components (most of the time). But just as often, that is merely a buildup of engineering that has worked more than theory that has been brought to practical applications. Much like rocket science. Even now, neither are truly science, merely engineering stacked to a point where, when someone goes into those fields with practical application, they just use those stacks of data, then trial and error, until... *poof* it... sort of, mostly, usually, or sometimes works... depending on how well they did their trial and error and engineering studies. Bleh.
If the ssd's arrive tomorrow... I just am not sure. Depends on when they arrive and when I wake. I might be able to get some things going tomorrow, though I won't swear to it. One thing I forgot is that I need a grounded shielded multi-outlet kit, and probably a grounded extension cord, so I can get the grounding I need before working on the hard drive and motherboard. I will be putting that together outside, making sure it will post and the components work, before putting that all in the case. It just works better that way. If I can, I might get out tonight and get that. I'd have to do dishes first, and get a shower in. Being done with the new computer, having done as much as is possible without the rest of the required grounding equipment, I just might get to those dishes, and a shower. Walmart is good enough for this sort of thing, and is 24/7 minus Christmas? Yeah, I think that is it minus floods and other natural disasters.
Well, later.
.
I didn't get back to the dishes, so no shower yet. I did open up the space for tinkering with the computer. I laid out the anti-static mat, hooked up the various connections for the various bands and other grounds, if they aren't yet hooked up to the power supply, nor is that plugged in. I then set up the components and case for easy access.
While I was at it, I decided to do some of the minor things which do not require me being grounded. I changed out two of the 230 mm fans. Actually I changed them all out. I had hoped to put a blue one on the front panel and side panel. Nope. The front panel simply didn't have mounting holes that worked with the new fan. I must have spent an hour trying various alignments, comparing it to the fan I removed, and just... working everything I could imagine. It simply would not fit. I didn't give up so much as realize that without some dubious physical modding, it just would not fit. And the modding? I could always use small bungee cord or the material and a little imagination. It would always be a bit doubtful. I'd have to use the small gauge bungee cords that look like parachute cord. Some come with balls, with which to wrap and tighten. Hmm. I may have some of those somewhere. I might just try it. The trick is to get it tight enough that there is no rattling! That is unnerving.
I also put in the two blu-ray drives. Yes, writers. They (manufacturers and makers, big and small) are pushing people away from discs. They want us to download everything. Some of it is to be green (a fiction) or to push downloading software (supposed to secure patents, copyrights, and such, but just as often a way to break into your computer for any number of reasons, and not in your favor in any way save lazy convenience). Don't do it, boy! Force them to offer cd/dvd/blu-ray discs. If you don't own a copy, do you even honestly own the software? No. You are renting, and that rent is subject to their changing the rules at any time, potentially requires being online to even use "their" software, and their stuff might remove software you have put on it if it thinks you shouldn't have it... software unrelated to it. Yeah, I'll keep those drives. And I might begin learning to crack. If they want war, they'll get it.
I also added the hybrid drives. I did a few other odds and ends as well. Installing the 120 mm fan for video card cooling shield (not vital now, but I'll be doing sli/xfire when my card's price drops $100, then it will be needed), then reinstalled the shield, installed the power supply, and just gave the case and some of the other components a once over, as I think about how to keep the installation clean. Hiding wires can be easy or not. Sometimes, no matter what, something just doesn't, and can't be made to, look just right.
Yes, I really enjoy this sort of thing. It is risky, which is something I do enjoy. It is technical, if in a more minor way. I would say there is more tech in figuring out what runs best with what, aiming and tweaking the building, listening to pro's but not just following like a complete tool, and such. Putting it together is minor work. The real work is using the mind to begin with, and learning what these things actually mean. Some suggest that you aren't really tech unless you know how these things work. The problem, and argument, I have with that notion is... I don't think even the manufacturers honestly know how these things work. They know, sort of, mostly, that they can get certain functions from the electronic components (most of the time). But just as often, that is merely a buildup of engineering that has worked more than theory that has been brought to practical applications. Much like rocket science. Even now, neither are truly science, merely engineering stacked to a point where, when someone goes into those fields with practical application, they just use those stacks of data, then trial and error, until... *poof* it... sort of, mostly, usually, or sometimes works... depending on how well they did their trial and error and engineering studies. Bleh.
If the ssd's arrive tomorrow... I just am not sure. Depends on when they arrive and when I wake. I might be able to get some things going tomorrow, though I won't swear to it. One thing I forgot is that I need a grounded shielded multi-outlet kit, and probably a grounded extension cord, so I can get the grounding I need before working on the hard drive and motherboard. I will be putting that together outside, making sure it will post and the components work, before putting that all in the case. It just works better that way. If I can, I might get out tonight and get that. I'd have to do dishes first, and get a shower in. Being done with the new computer, having done as much as is possible without the rest of the required grounding equipment, I just might get to those dishes, and a shower. Walmart is good enough for this sort of thing, and is 24/7 minus Christmas? Yeah, I think that is it minus floods and other natural disasters.
Well, later.
Yes, no, maybe?
.
.
Do I look like a woman, or like I'm awake? Default is no until further processes are functioning. Wait, that is rather feminine. But they learned it from us! Stole pants too, but they can look good in them. *grins* Don't hate me, blame it on my bootup routines, well, and the truth!
I slept well. I'm not waking until 17:00 though. Having to use an alarm at that. Which... isn't the best. I think I went down at... actually I am not sure. I know, for waking, day over day, I lost two hours, waking around 15:00 yesterday. I think. It's the growing darkness and added cool. The latter... actually both... suit me fine. Most of the rest of you simply have to push on through, and be grumpy. *smile* We really do live in a day and time that is unnatural. While working from morning to early evening is a rather European thing, which was unnatural as well, America has taken that and doubled down into serious expectations of effort. While that is totally collapsing with this generation, employers aren't capitulating just yet. Going foreign in a last-ditch attempt. Though doing that even more than necessary to cut costs. While not realizing, one way or another, they are also cutting their bottom line. Pay your employees less, as an across the board thing nationwide in all industries and? And people have less to spend.
Americans are the major buyers of anything new, innovative, odd, one off, or cutting edge especially. Not every American in every area. From hot-rod kits to screaming computing machines for home to fancy housing items. Chinese can't afford what our working poor can buy. Russians are rich in comparison but also can't afford toasters! Europeans are, on average, our upper class working poor. There isn't another consumer base like America. And our leaders have decided to end our prosperity. Every policy out of the government for the last nearly eight, but honestly more like 24 years, has been directly and intentionally or not aimed at destroying that middle class. And it has succeeded. But there is a price. The wealthy buy fancy, but they don't buy much. A hundred million dollar yacht doesn't make up for thirty million $10-$30 k sport/speed/fishing boats (and all that goes with them, such as trailers). The volume isn't there. And the wealth taken for the creation isn't spread around either. Still, Americans were too busy believing politicians to see what they were doing. It wasn't until Bush the Younger's second dance with disaster that I realized the gig was up, myself.
Yes, companies have slit their own throats. Currently just trying to stay afloat, but by supporting an academia that more and more spent huge amounts per child and have children that only feel good about themselves but often can't negotiate making change or reading and following simple instructions. It must be daunting doing interviews. A college degree provides little better, and more adds an insulting attitude of deserving a job and a social say through it. I guess this is how civilization will grind to a halt. It takes competent workers, a reasonably indifferent and uninvolved government (so it doesn't interfere), a viable ability to easily generate an income, family, and faith. Which of those areas even exist at this point. It was never perfect, but those things did exist. Now?
Anyway... I meant to take a shower, but without thinking, I reset the dishes to soak. No real problem. I have been showering every or every other day for a while now. And this will get me focused on doing those last dishes, I really want another shower today. Love those when I am feeling up to it, or more, simply able. I have really been thinking of, somehow, getting one of those walk-in baths. It wouldn't be something I'd buy tomorrow. And they are exceedingly expensive. Further, they might actually be too small for me. The idea of them leaking is terrifying. But the prospect of a bath two to three times a week, plus showers, is wonderful. Much easier to clean than a standard tub, too.
Well, I best get to something then. With the shower out while the dish rinse water cools, perhaps I can finish at least the area for the computer while I wait. Later.
.
Do I look like a woman, or like I'm awake? Default is no until further processes are functioning. Wait, that is rather feminine. But they learned it from us! Stole pants too, but they can look good in them. *grins* Don't hate me, blame it on my bootup routines, well, and the truth!
I slept well. I'm not waking until 17:00 though. Having to use an alarm at that. Which... isn't the best. I think I went down at... actually I am not sure. I know, for waking, day over day, I lost two hours, waking around 15:00 yesterday. I think. It's the growing darkness and added cool. The latter... actually both... suit me fine. Most of the rest of you simply have to push on through, and be grumpy. *smile* We really do live in a day and time that is unnatural. While working from morning to early evening is a rather European thing, which was unnatural as well, America has taken that and doubled down into serious expectations of effort. While that is totally collapsing with this generation, employers aren't capitulating just yet. Going foreign in a last-ditch attempt. Though doing that even more than necessary to cut costs. While not realizing, one way or another, they are also cutting their bottom line. Pay your employees less, as an across the board thing nationwide in all industries and? And people have less to spend.
Americans are the major buyers of anything new, innovative, odd, one off, or cutting edge especially. Not every American in every area. From hot-rod kits to screaming computing machines for home to fancy housing items. Chinese can't afford what our working poor can buy. Russians are rich in comparison but also can't afford toasters! Europeans are, on average, our upper class working poor. There isn't another consumer base like America. And our leaders have decided to end our prosperity. Every policy out of the government for the last nearly eight, but honestly more like 24 years, has been directly and intentionally or not aimed at destroying that middle class. And it has succeeded. But there is a price. The wealthy buy fancy, but they don't buy much. A hundred million dollar yacht doesn't make up for thirty million $10-$30 k sport/speed/fishing boats (and all that goes with them, such as trailers). The volume isn't there. And the wealth taken for the creation isn't spread around either. Still, Americans were too busy believing politicians to see what they were doing. It wasn't until Bush the Younger's second dance with disaster that I realized the gig was up, myself.
Yes, companies have slit their own throats. Currently just trying to stay afloat, but by supporting an academia that more and more spent huge amounts per child and have children that only feel good about themselves but often can't negotiate making change or reading and following simple instructions. It must be daunting doing interviews. A college degree provides little better, and more adds an insulting attitude of deserving a job and a social say through it. I guess this is how civilization will grind to a halt. It takes competent workers, a reasonably indifferent and uninvolved government (so it doesn't interfere), a viable ability to easily generate an income, family, and faith. Which of those areas even exist at this point. It was never perfect, but those things did exist. Now?
Anyway... I meant to take a shower, but without thinking, I reset the dishes to soak. No real problem. I have been showering every or every other day for a while now. And this will get me focused on doing those last dishes, I really want another shower today. Love those when I am feeling up to it, or more, simply able. I have really been thinking of, somehow, getting one of those walk-in baths. It wouldn't be something I'd buy tomorrow. And they are exceedingly expensive. Further, they might actually be too small for me. The idea of them leaking is terrifying. But the prospect of a bath two to three times a week, plus showers, is wonderful. Much easier to clean than a standard tub, too.
Well, I best get to something then. With the shower out while the dish rinse water cools, perhaps I can finish at least the area for the computer while I wait. Later.
Saturday, October 31, 2015
Oh, right, happy Halloween.
.
.
I had, and had not, forgotten. Sometimes Halloween is operated on the 31st, sometimes another night. I had forgotten to ask. Tonight is the night. Three groups of candy bandits have been by already. I don't have much candy, and not the best kinds. However, I do have a backup plan. I simply got involved with the machine and a few other projects and lost track. I could have bought candy yesterday, when I stole in to town late. I just wasn't up to shopping, so... No worries, I do have a solid backup plan. And the candy that is there works too, for a while.
However, until the goblins, witches, soldiers, jailbreakers, and such stop arriving, work is off the schedule. Yeah, hurts my feelings, too. *grins*
It sort of stinks that I will have to soak the dishes in hot water again. But so what. I can reset them as I head to town for dinner when the monster parade is over. They should be just about ready after I go, eat, return, and let the food digest for long enough to get back to work. Good kids here in town. Lots of eyes, and eyes that know and prattle if need be, helps. You can see it in some of their eyes, the devil that used to live in the child we were. What gets me is how small children have become! If you haven't seen them in a while it simply comes as a bit of a shock. Oh, I see some younglings. But I get so used to them that I forget some things. They become known, so go unmeasured... sort of. One of them didn't go up to my knee! Cut as a bug, and then some though. I do enjoy Halloween. Just wish I was better prepared.
Ah, and I ordered geese. The sizes are okay, but... not what I had hoped. The bigger ones were gone. I may pull a trick out of my hat though, to top it. We will see. But, for now, something something is cooking, or potentially. Wasn't it the Scrooge who offered the Christmas goose? I'm not that good, but I can be that bad? Nah, I don't think so. Not on the topic of Christmas anyway.
Later.
.
I had, and had not, forgotten. Sometimes Halloween is operated on the 31st, sometimes another night. I had forgotten to ask. Tonight is the night. Three groups of candy bandits have been by already. I don't have much candy, and not the best kinds. However, I do have a backup plan. I simply got involved with the machine and a few other projects and lost track. I could have bought candy yesterday, when I stole in to town late. I just wasn't up to shopping, so... No worries, I do have a solid backup plan. And the candy that is there works too, for a while.
However, until the goblins, witches, soldiers, jailbreakers, and such stop arriving, work is off the schedule. Yeah, hurts my feelings, too. *grins*
It sort of stinks that I will have to soak the dishes in hot water again. But so what. I can reset them as I head to town for dinner when the monster parade is over. They should be just about ready after I go, eat, return, and let the food digest for long enough to get back to work. Good kids here in town. Lots of eyes, and eyes that know and prattle if need be, helps. You can see it in some of their eyes, the devil that used to live in the child we were. What gets me is how small children have become! If you haven't seen them in a while it simply comes as a bit of a shock. Oh, I see some younglings. But I get so used to them that I forget some things. They become known, so go unmeasured... sort of. One of them didn't go up to my knee! Cut as a bug, and then some though. I do enjoy Halloween. Just wish I was better prepared.
Ah, and I ordered geese. The sizes are okay, but... not what I had hoped. The bigger ones were gone. I may pull a trick out of my hat though, to top it. We will see. But, for now, something something is cooking, or potentially. Wasn't it the Scrooge who offered the Christmas goose? I'm not that good, but I can be that bad? Nah, I don't think so. Not on the topic of Christmas anyway.
Later.
Ugh, sleep is nuts.
.
.
I'm on a permanent shift change, for now. Probably until everything sorts itself out. All good though, really. Health is better, sleep is just tumbling. It's enjoyable on the one hand, a bit disorienting on the other. Even so, I have been able to do bits and pieces of this and that. I did set the dishes to a soak after a shower last night, then reset them a few hours ago when I woke. And, yes, I made it to town for a meal.
They put cheese and pickles on the burger which itself was the oldest burger I have gotten from McDonalds in a long time, the fries tasted like fish and I only got a medium order instead of the large (which turns out to be a blessing as they were nearly inedible), and the Mcnuggets... I couldn't tell if those were fish or chicken. Still, the Mcnuggets saved the meal, for the most part. Mild enough, whatever they were, that it worked. That McDonalds (the only joint open that late at night, so not a choice mind you) started offering breakfast all hours. I think that means they are running out of regular food quickly (why I didn't get the burger I ordered, couldn't afford the stock to make it fresh, or the fries as they run out), and are using the fryer for too many things. I suppose, if that is where their market is, then that is the way it goes. I'll just not be eating there at night anymore. It's a free market, or at least for now. But free means I don't have to buy.
I've got the timer set for two hours, at least I set it at that when I reset the dishes. I'll check them then. I did dry and put up a few things right after wetting them, other things I wanted to soak, and will double check as I dry them. It's just how I prefer to do dishes. I may put a small load of laundry in. Pj's, warm robe, and such, are becoming less a luxury or occasional item as fall flirts with winter in the lead up to the changing of that guard. I like winter, and yet I am learning to negotiate with it more on my terms. All good. But robes and fleece pj's are required and I don't have many of those. And my lip has a hole in it, sometimes. No milk mustache, though sometimes a white goatee. :p Dang kids.
I might get in to the living room before too awful long, and get more done there. It's closer. Much closer. Though I am not as far along into the rest of the room as I thought I might be by now. Tumbling sleep throws things a bit off. While I have been doing more work, it isn't as focused on what I wanted, and ends up being just here, there, hit, and miss. Oh well. Hmm... If I am a good boy, I may go out later for a treat. This time, though, I may go into the restaurant, since they are actually open, and make sure they get it right. I think, on a Friday late night, they think they are cooking for drunks, on top of it. Something seemed off in there, too. Not sure what the problem was.
Later.
.
I'm on a permanent shift change, for now. Probably until everything sorts itself out. All good though, really. Health is better, sleep is just tumbling. It's enjoyable on the one hand, a bit disorienting on the other. Even so, I have been able to do bits and pieces of this and that. I did set the dishes to a soak after a shower last night, then reset them a few hours ago when I woke. And, yes, I made it to town for a meal.
They put cheese and pickles on the burger which itself was the oldest burger I have gotten from McDonalds in a long time, the fries tasted like fish and I only got a medium order instead of the large (which turns out to be a blessing as they were nearly inedible), and the Mcnuggets... I couldn't tell if those were fish or chicken. Still, the Mcnuggets saved the meal, for the most part. Mild enough, whatever they were, that it worked. That McDonalds (the only joint open that late at night, so not a choice mind you) started offering breakfast all hours. I think that means they are running out of regular food quickly (why I didn't get the burger I ordered, couldn't afford the stock to make it fresh, or the fries as they run out), and are using the fryer for too many things. I suppose, if that is where their market is, then that is the way it goes. I'll just not be eating there at night anymore. It's a free market, or at least for now. But free means I don't have to buy.
I've got the timer set for two hours, at least I set it at that when I reset the dishes. I'll check them then. I did dry and put up a few things right after wetting them, other things I wanted to soak, and will double check as I dry them. It's just how I prefer to do dishes. I may put a small load of laundry in. Pj's, warm robe, and such, are becoming less a luxury or occasional item as fall flirts with winter in the lead up to the changing of that guard. I like winter, and yet I am learning to negotiate with it more on my terms. All good. But robes and fleece pj's are required and I don't have many of those. And my lip has a hole in it, sometimes. No milk mustache, though sometimes a white goatee. :p Dang kids.
I might get in to the living room before too awful long, and get more done there. It's closer. Much closer. Though I am not as far along into the rest of the room as I thought I might be by now. Tumbling sleep throws things a bit off. While I have been doing more work, it isn't as focused on what I wanted, and ends up being just here, there, hit, and miss. Oh well. Hmm... If I am a good boy, I may go out later for a treat. This time, though, I may go into the restaurant, since they are actually open, and make sure they get it right. I think, on a Friday late night, they think they are cooking for drunks, on top of it. Something seemed off in there, too. Not sure what the problem was.
Later.
Chuckling, grumbling, and getting on with it.
.
.
I finished the rest of the dishes. Now to get a shower and to town. I am really low on gas, so may have to buy that first thing, before eating. The idea is just to get a bite to eat. Something I don't have to cook, clean up after mostly, or do any dishes. I need to push though, I prefer lunch/dinner over breakfast for fast food. I will put the dishes in to soak after I take a shower.
One of the things I purchased, along with components, was a blower, to keep the computers clean. I keep running out of canned air. Which isn't exactly cheap. I don't care about the notion of one being greener than the other. Truth told, I don't think anyone had done enough thinking, and it might not be possible since we don't understand things well enough, to know if one sort of thing is better or not. The idea, however, is to have a device that always has air, as long as it runs. And it isn't just for computers. I'm not sure how strong it really is, even after trying it. I ought to find a dusty area in some corner and find out.
Still a bit hollow feeling. Getting better. Trying to prep for the final components and build. And getting in a couple of rebates, if I can do that on time. One has to be out by the 6th, the other has to be out within a month of purchase. Both are definitely going to be used, so I don't have to worry about getting stuck through the rebate. Not that I am at all sure I will see those rebates anytime soon, perhaps ever. Those, at one time anyway, were all talk, no show. Worth a shot for a couple of stamps, I suppose. Technically not a gamble.
Alright, I best hurry. Later.
.
I finished the rest of the dishes. Now to get a shower and to town. I am really low on gas, so may have to buy that first thing, before eating. The idea is just to get a bite to eat. Something I don't have to cook, clean up after mostly, or do any dishes. I need to push though, I prefer lunch/dinner over breakfast for fast food. I will put the dishes in to soak after I take a shower.
One of the things I purchased, along with components, was a blower, to keep the computers clean. I keep running out of canned air. Which isn't exactly cheap. I don't care about the notion of one being greener than the other. Truth told, I don't think anyone had done enough thinking, and it might not be possible since we don't understand things well enough, to know if one sort of thing is better or not. The idea, however, is to have a device that always has air, as long as it runs. And it isn't just for computers. I'm not sure how strong it really is, even after trying it. I ought to find a dusty area in some corner and find out.
Still a bit hollow feeling. Getting better. Trying to prep for the final components and build. And getting in a couple of rebates, if I can do that on time. One has to be out by the 6th, the other has to be out within a month of purchase. Both are definitely going to be used, so I don't have to worry about getting stuck through the rebate. Not that I am at all sure I will see those rebates anytime soon, perhaps ever. Those, at one time anyway, were all talk, no show. Worth a shot for a couple of stamps, I suppose. Technically not a gamble.
Alright, I best hurry. Later.
Friday, October 30, 2015
Sleep is all over the place.
.
.
No worries. If I need sleep, anymore, I sleep. I can keep up on things much easier if rested. If I need to do my work at night, all good. If the next time I work is a shift and an half out of sync, cool. I am... nearing the ability to hit it. The only way I will reach that is to ignore my schedule and take work when it is possible. I reset the dishes shortly after waking then waking up. I have the stove alarm set to go off in two hours. I will test the water then. I run pure hot, 155F water, on the dishes. While I can wash right in that temp I prefer not to do so. Some days it cools quicker, sometimes slower. Two hours is the minimum soak time. I didn't do a rough wash, though most of it has already been hit once. Some days, cold slimy water is just too much to take. I hope to wash, then shower, put them in for a rinse, then maybe head to town for a cheap and easy. Meal! Meal! Watch that mind gutter ball! Hush.
The case fans arrived. I checked them and they will work. There were doubts, from (bad) comments, that the 230 weren't full size. Why people write false comments? Yeah, there is the "competition", and there are the SJW's, though I think in this case, the dolt probably did order the wrong size and then blamed everybody else. There are some dirt-stupid people out there. I also ordered the ssd's. I actually did that last night, after midnight. My "check" usually arrives right after midnight on the 1st or the Friday (or earlier day for long holidays) before the weekend or holiday. So that I am not locked out of my income. It... isn't quite working at midnight, like it used to. It probably does save the government a few bucks (when added all together) (if they are doing it wisely, though I won't hold my breath, but they should be doing that correctly and easily, if it is just as likely enriching some crony "friend"). Gah! Now, I don't mind it not showing up until bank hours, I just had to refile the order, and before noon if I wanted an extra-expedited delivery, which I did. Hopefully Monday. However, with my sleep being weird, and somewhat demanding, it was tricky... had to refile the order before noon. Woke and saw the problem at 10:00, but couldn't stay awake, and wasn't aware enough, to realize all the issues. As I slept, until about 11:00, the notions percolated until I was able to rise to the surface of consciousness at about 11:00 and get the order redone (thankfully a Cali company, so I actually had two hours of leeway). After that, though, I crashed again for... a while. A long while.
I am rather close to having the living room arranged, sort of. If I do, there are some minor things I can set up. Adding the extra fans, changing out a fan, perhaps installing the power supply, and arranging parts. I have been studying the motherboard, video board, bios, and among other things. Truth is, until I get in there, it's... not going to all make really good sense. And the information available is rather limited. With as many software and hardware options, know what to do, use, or turn off, in order to optimize, is... probably beyond a first time (at least first in a long time) builder. Funny, though, how much really hasn't changed.
Never mind. I am in some kind of odd sleeping mess with the dark and cool and medicines and stress and... Meh. I have definitely had worse. I even know what day it is, sort out time, am keeping track of some notions, if I am falling a bit behind in action, including making an appointment and ordering geese. I do stumble. But... it doesn't completely slide. Oh, right, but I need to call some folk and figure some things out. A call tonight, and I might be able to place an order for two of the geese tonight. Or all four. Gah! Depends, for the psychically incontinent? Hmm... Oh, right, COFFEE! Yeah, a drought of that ought to do. Later.
.
No worries. If I need sleep, anymore, I sleep. I can keep up on things much easier if rested. If I need to do my work at night, all good. If the next time I work is a shift and an half out of sync, cool. I am... nearing the ability to hit it. The only way I will reach that is to ignore my schedule and take work when it is possible. I reset the dishes shortly after waking then waking up. I have the stove alarm set to go off in two hours. I will test the water then. I run pure hot, 155F water, on the dishes. While I can wash right in that temp I prefer not to do so. Some days it cools quicker, sometimes slower. Two hours is the minimum soak time. I didn't do a rough wash, though most of it has already been hit once. Some days, cold slimy water is just too much to take. I hope to wash, then shower, put them in for a rinse, then maybe head to town for a cheap and easy. Meal! Meal! Watch that mind gutter ball! Hush.
The case fans arrived. I checked them and they will work. There were doubts, from (bad) comments, that the 230 weren't full size. Why people write false comments? Yeah, there is the "competition", and there are the SJW's, though I think in this case, the dolt probably did order the wrong size and then blamed everybody else. There are some dirt-stupid people out there. I also ordered the ssd's. I actually did that last night, after midnight. My "check" usually arrives right after midnight on the 1st or the Friday (or earlier day for long holidays) before the weekend or holiday. So that I am not locked out of my income. It... isn't quite working at midnight, like it used to. It probably does save the government a few bucks (when added all together) (if they are doing it wisely, though I won't hold my breath, but they should be doing that correctly and easily, if it is just as likely enriching some crony "friend"). Gah! Now, I don't mind it not showing up until bank hours, I just had to refile the order, and before noon if I wanted an extra-expedited delivery, which I did. Hopefully Monday. However, with my sleep being weird, and somewhat demanding, it was tricky... had to refile the order before noon. Woke and saw the problem at 10:00, but couldn't stay awake, and wasn't aware enough, to realize all the issues. As I slept, until about 11:00, the notions percolated until I was able to rise to the surface of consciousness at about 11:00 and get the order redone (thankfully a Cali company, so I actually had two hours of leeway). After that, though, I crashed again for... a while. A long while.
I am rather close to having the living room arranged, sort of. If I do, there are some minor things I can set up. Adding the extra fans, changing out a fan, perhaps installing the power supply, and arranging parts. I have been studying the motherboard, video board, bios, and among other things. Truth is, until I get in there, it's... not going to all make really good sense. And the information available is rather limited. With as many software and hardware options, know what to do, use, or turn off, in order to optimize, is... probably beyond a first time (at least first in a long time) builder. Funny, though, how much really hasn't changed.
Never mind. I am in some kind of odd sleeping mess with the dark and cool and medicines and stress and... Meh. I have definitely had worse. I even know what day it is, sort out time, am keeping track of some notions, if I am falling a bit behind in action, including making an appointment and ordering geese. I do stumble. But... it doesn't completely slide. Oh, right, but I need to call some folk and figure some things out. A call tonight, and I might be able to place an order for two of the geese tonight. Or all four. Gah! Depends, for the psychically incontinent? Hmm... Oh, right, COFFEE! Yeah, a drought of that ought to do. Later.
More study, less work.
.
.
I did do a minor portion of the dishes. I may do more. Running slow as my body sorts medicines out. I did read the manuals that came with the motherboard and video card. Wow, that was a lot of nothing. The motherboard offered some information, but raised far more questions than not. Especially regarding configuring the bios.
It would suggest things you could turn on or off but give no reason for doing either. '"In the next step, set Auto-deconformation to 0, 1, or 3. If, while booting, the computer screams at you in French, you will know this is the problem. Go ahead and power the system back down, unplug the power source, then use the jumpers to delete the memory. Then, while the system is still powered down, reset the switch to one of the two remaining choices. Repeat until the system stops screaming at you in French."' Yeah, only, actually, they give you no idea if you will know if you did it wrong or not. The thing is, some of these might be key to fully utilizing some of your system. And there is no guarantee that default will work.
Oh, no worries. I'll figure it out. I figure I will do just fine. It will be a step by step walk through having everything up and running, using testing software to square off the areas too rounded, or round off those parts that are too square. Oh, about the raid 10... I will be using four inexpensive 120 gb ssds. They aren't the absolute blazing fastest, but are good enough, as is. With a raid 10, I will end up with 240gb at double their rate, which will make them safer, faster, and sum total no more expensive (and probably cheaper) than an equal top of the line 240(ish) gb ssd. With a raid 1 2tb hybrid for actual mass storage, that should be good.
Yeah... I am excited. I just need to do a few last things. I can get most of the machine arranged before the ssd's arrive. Those can fit into trays really easily, and be a snap in if I have the connections and power cords arranged as if they were here. Then just pop them in and install the OS. I may setup the drives to allow partitions for several linux systems. I know you can dual boot, choosing linux and a win OS, not sure if you can do three systems. Though, I bet if you went thumb drive, which I am hoping to do for another version of linux anyway, it... might could work! *pop, fizzle, crackle?* We'll see. Though the thumbdrive might be used on another system first.
Oh, and I best try to order those geese. Two this month, two next month, if at all possible. Three will be bigger, one will be slightly smaller. Oh... but before I order those, I need to see if the recipients even want them. No matter how nice something is, if you aren't set up to cook it... It might well be like handing a bachelor two or three live lobster. Urhm, most bachelors. I actually have what it takes to cook up to, say, four, all at once... more in rotation. Most can't, bachelor or not. Well, no five pounders mind you, just pound to pound and an halfers.
Later, or good night. Later, probably. :p
.
I did do a minor portion of the dishes. I may do more. Running slow as my body sorts medicines out. I did read the manuals that came with the motherboard and video card. Wow, that was a lot of nothing. The motherboard offered some information, but raised far more questions than not. Especially regarding configuring the bios.
It would suggest things you could turn on or off but give no reason for doing either. '"In the next step, set Auto-deconformation to 0, 1, or 3. If, while booting, the computer screams at you in French, you will know this is the problem. Go ahead and power the system back down, unplug the power source, then use the jumpers to delete the memory. Then, while the system is still powered down, reset the switch to one of the two remaining choices. Repeat until the system stops screaming at you in French."' Yeah, only, actually, they give you no idea if you will know if you did it wrong or not. The thing is, some of these might be key to fully utilizing some of your system. And there is no guarantee that default will work.
Oh, no worries. I'll figure it out. I figure I will do just fine. It will be a step by step walk through having everything up and running, using testing software to square off the areas too rounded, or round off those parts that are too square. Oh, about the raid 10... I will be using four inexpensive 120 gb ssds. They aren't the absolute blazing fastest, but are good enough, as is. With a raid 10, I will end up with 240gb at double their rate, which will make them safer, faster, and sum total no more expensive (and probably cheaper) than an equal top of the line 240(ish) gb ssd. With a raid 1 2tb hybrid for actual mass storage, that should be good.
Yeah... I am excited. I just need to do a few last things. I can get most of the machine arranged before the ssd's arrive. Those can fit into trays really easily, and be a snap in if I have the connections and power cords arranged as if they were here. Then just pop them in and install the OS. I may setup the drives to allow partitions for several linux systems. I know you can dual boot, choosing linux and a win OS, not sure if you can do three systems. Though, I bet if you went thumb drive, which I am hoping to do for another version of linux anyway, it... might could work! *pop, fizzle, crackle?* We'll see. Though the thumbdrive might be used on another system first.
Oh, and I best try to order those geese. Two this month, two next month, if at all possible. Three will be bigger, one will be slightly smaller. Oh... but before I order those, I need to see if the recipients even want them. No matter how nice something is, if you aren't set up to cook it... It might well be like handing a bachelor two or three live lobster. Urhm, most bachelors. I actually have what it takes to cook up to, say, four, all at once... more in rotation. Most can't, bachelor or not. Well, no five pounders mind you, just pound to pound and an halfers.
Later, or good night. Later, probably. :p
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Always something.
.
.
I do make the attempt. I do as good as I can do. I push, aim, arrange, figure, sweat, and bleed to make things work. Even so, things just slip. Medicine. I don't think it has been more than a day or two. And I can, and will, get right back on it. I don't think I missed too much so that I will have to crawl out of trouble. But I am a bit off. I may lose a day or two. And I did notice before all hell broke out. I will say it is not fair. I will also admit that, while that is true, that isn't an excuse, or even reason, to surrender or even to cover for mistakes. It's simply one more hurdle with which we all must contend. So... back on meds.
As for today? I don't know. I wondered why things were slowing, didn't get to much, though some, yesterday. I was dragging and could not find the sweet-spot I knew should have been there. Later in the day, or as I went to bed I think more likely, I realized the problem. I am hoping to at least kick out the dishes, at least a general wash, and then take a shower today. If I can get that done, then maybe work a bit more in the living room. It's possible. Not likely, not probable, simply possible. Oh, and start meds back up. Mostly just woke. Days and nights are slipping, though they were before medicines slipped. So little sun, then add in overcast days and... They all feed each other. Some of it I can do something about, some of it not so much. Back to doing what I can about what I can though.
Sleep is pretty good. I am not in any real pain. Life is actually fine, today. Yeah, I'll just get back onboard and cruise as if nothing went wrong. And, maybe, that will be good enough this time. Later.
.
I do make the attempt. I do as good as I can do. I push, aim, arrange, figure, sweat, and bleed to make things work. Even so, things just slip. Medicine. I don't think it has been more than a day or two. And I can, and will, get right back on it. I don't think I missed too much so that I will have to crawl out of trouble. But I am a bit off. I may lose a day or two. And I did notice before all hell broke out. I will say it is not fair. I will also admit that, while that is true, that isn't an excuse, or even reason, to surrender or even to cover for mistakes. It's simply one more hurdle with which we all must contend. So... back on meds.
As for today? I don't know. I wondered why things were slowing, didn't get to much, though some, yesterday. I was dragging and could not find the sweet-spot I knew should have been there. Later in the day, or as I went to bed I think more likely, I realized the problem. I am hoping to at least kick out the dishes, at least a general wash, and then take a shower today. If I can get that done, then maybe work a bit more in the living room. It's possible. Not likely, not probable, simply possible. Oh, and start meds back up. Mostly just woke. Days and nights are slipping, though they were before medicines slipped. So little sun, then add in overcast days and... They all feed each other. Some of it I can do something about, some of it not so much. Back to doing what I can about what I can though.
Sleep is pretty good. I am not in any real pain. Life is actually fine, today. Yeah, I'll just get back onboard and cruise as if nothing went wrong. And, maybe, that will be good enough this time. Later.
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Some things are coming together.
.
.
I am about to hit dishes... once dinner has settled. Eggs. Nothing terribly fancy, and yet I wanted to do just a bit more than plain. My hunger is terrible lately. As if I could eat a bear. And, if put to it, I just might. My hunger has replaced the drive that had been for fluid. This is a good sign, a sign of health returning. I spent three or four days eating and eating and eating. Getting out, whether sneaking or doing it properly, and eating each time. Eating lots of food, until it hurt, actually. HUNGRY!!! At this point I am trying to... slow that down. So, an four egg omelet was the plan. I added cheese at the end, cream into the eggs for a bit of fluff, and spent a bit by slicing green olives to be added. Delicious, and petite, at least compared to more recent meals.
Dishes will be hit shortly. Then some more work in the living room. Just before posting this, I was nailing some things down for my computer. I have decided to put the thing together, for the most part, but stall on the OS until next month. I have decided to go with a raid 10, which means more drives. But I wanted true ssd's. No, not top of the line. And rather small. But very good mid-weights. The two hybrids will go into a raid 1 config. Why? Security (of data), and performance, for the raid 10. Simple security (of data) for raid 1. I should be able to boot quite quickly this way. The ssd's, however, aren't in the budget until next month. Yes, I am having fun and going out a bit on this build. Oh... even so, it is still quite reasonable. As the video board fades, say in six months to a year, I will probably add a twin. Two cards will keep the system near the top for... some time. Even if just having one board, currently, is just slightly over average.
I have considered updating the hp I am using, for a bit more life. It is an old machine, boasting a well out-of-date amd am2+ socket, and not even a top of the line chip (if it probably was at the time, or near it). The memory is at 7, the board will only accept 8gb, not sure it is worth it to try to find, then buy, that extra gb, and of ddr2 memory. Not sure it's available, if I am pretty sure the cost to advantage for the boost just wouldn't really be there. A 1, perhaps 2gb video card might really help, as well as the fastest sata I hard drive I could find. Sata I, or II? Something. I have the link to the manufacturer model and serial number machine. In any case, a fast hdd, hybrid, or ssd would really bring some life to this old machine, make it useful for a rather longish time. Though those things might require a new power source. It has a 300 watt system. But the stock power sources are pretty ratty in most prebuilts. That's their margin builder. Why? Having two machines allows backup, and offers a means of figuring out what component failed when something goes wrong. Plus... it's something to do.
Yes. Dishes, then maybe another shower, or even a bath. And then on to the living room. I really am digging down in. The goal, if I can get to it tonight, is to have the full area for microfacturing (nano?) the computer ready. Dusting, vacuuming, setting out the mat, figuring out which outlet I can use, and putting parts within easy reach. If I can do that much, I may try to clear off the other couch and the side table/lamp stand. And, maybe, breaking down boxes. Lots and lots of boxes. I might even put those into the back of the Xter so that, if I make it to town Friday, I can get those in too. Yes, I am enjoying this. I am trying. I love it when I have things to do, even if I keep stalling and adding and... stalling... and adding. :p
Hmm. Something to sip. Then a bit of a rest, research can be daunting. Then on to wherever I can. Later.
.
I am about to hit dishes... once dinner has settled. Eggs. Nothing terribly fancy, and yet I wanted to do just a bit more than plain. My hunger is terrible lately. As if I could eat a bear. And, if put to it, I just might. My hunger has replaced the drive that had been for fluid. This is a good sign, a sign of health returning. I spent three or four days eating and eating and eating. Getting out, whether sneaking or doing it properly, and eating each time. Eating lots of food, until it hurt, actually. HUNGRY!!! At this point I am trying to... slow that down. So, an four egg omelet was the plan. I added cheese at the end, cream into the eggs for a bit of fluff, and spent a bit by slicing green olives to be added. Delicious, and petite, at least compared to more recent meals.
Dishes will be hit shortly. Then some more work in the living room. Just before posting this, I was nailing some things down for my computer. I have decided to put the thing together, for the most part, but stall on the OS until next month. I have decided to go with a raid 10, which means more drives. But I wanted true ssd's. No, not top of the line. And rather small. But very good mid-weights. The two hybrids will go into a raid 1 config. Why? Security (of data), and performance, for the raid 10. Simple security (of data) for raid 1. I should be able to boot quite quickly this way. The ssd's, however, aren't in the budget until next month. Yes, I am having fun and going out a bit on this build. Oh... even so, it is still quite reasonable. As the video board fades, say in six months to a year, I will probably add a twin. Two cards will keep the system near the top for... some time. Even if just having one board, currently, is just slightly over average.
I have considered updating the hp I am using, for a bit more life. It is an old machine, boasting a well out-of-date amd am2+ socket, and not even a top of the line chip (if it probably was at the time, or near it). The memory is at 7, the board will only accept 8gb, not sure it is worth it to try to find, then buy, that extra gb, and of ddr2 memory. Not sure it's available, if I am pretty sure the cost to advantage for the boost just wouldn't really be there. A 1, perhaps 2gb video card might really help, as well as the fastest sata I hard drive I could find. Sata I, or II? Something. I have the link to the manufacturer model and serial number machine. In any case, a fast hdd, hybrid, or ssd would really bring some life to this old machine, make it useful for a rather longish time. Though those things might require a new power source. It has a 300 watt system. But the stock power sources are pretty ratty in most prebuilts. That's their margin builder. Why? Having two machines allows backup, and offers a means of figuring out what component failed when something goes wrong. Plus... it's something to do.
Yes. Dishes, then maybe another shower, or even a bath. And then on to the living room. I really am digging down in. The goal, if I can get to it tonight, is to have the full area for microfacturing (nano?) the computer ready. Dusting, vacuuming, setting out the mat, figuring out which outlet I can use, and putting parts within easy reach. If I can do that much, I may try to clear off the other couch and the side table/lamp stand. And, maybe, breaking down boxes. Lots and lots of boxes. I might even put those into the back of the Xter so that, if I make it to town Friday, I can get those in too. Yes, I am enjoying this. I am trying. I love it when I have things to do, even if I keep stalling and adding and... stalling... and adding. :p
Hmm. Something to sip. Then a bit of a rest, research can be daunting. Then on to wherever I can. Later.
I ended up crashing just after that last post.
.
.
It's like I hit a wall. I went to bed very late... 2:30 to 4:00, somewhere in there. Couldn't sleep, that is slipping. So waking at 6:00 or 7:00 was going to make it tough. Why I woke I can't say, but I woke as if booting fully in a second. Not a usual wake, so something woke me. Might have been the girls, or a very loud vehicle, or someone around the house. Ah, a package was delivered, that might have been it? No... not that early. The package must have arrived after I went back to bed. I then didn't wake until 13:30 or so.
It got chilly last night. This morning, I believe shortly after the first wake, the thermo suggested it had gotten down to 38, at least. It is overcast, so probably hasn't warmed much during the day. Hmm... Why did it seem to daylight bright so early? I don't know. Maybe I was more asleep still, and couldn't put things together correctly, than I thought? It just seems as if it was relatively bright when I woke already. Didn't need lights. And, yet, most mornings, at that time now, the sun isn't close to being up? Bleh... I'll... think on that one. Odd though. I sometimes really wonder if I do indeed live in some sort of artificial environment, such as the Matrix. If you are an half click out of things, they can really play with your gourd. Between your conscious shy mind and even minor doses of medication, they can really tinker in there. Not sure how they could attenuate, alter, or direct your thinking/dreams. Though if they have mind patterning down, they might be able to do so to some degree, even if they aren't fully able to know what they are doing. It wouldn't have to be the whole population... just one guy, in a coma, off the grid, who the government allows them to play with. Unmarried veterans would be an easy mark. And, no, I have no doubts they would work us over if they could.
On the good side of things, since, or because of, the crash, I am feeling good, better, ready to... actually to probably take another nap shortly, then get some work done when I get the need for sleep out of my system, one way or another. Perhaps coffee, or coffee and a shower, will do it. I'll wash the dishes first, set them out, shower, then put them back in for a soak. Yeah, remember, they have their own little plastic tub that I use for a wash basin. Even I have... ill thoughts about washing my body and dishes in the same place. Bleh! I'm... nervous about weird stuff... and that idea, to me, is weird... unless you really scrub a standard use tub after personal washes. I keep it clean, but not every time, thus a little tub for in the tub. Plus, a full tub of water is a lot more water than I want to use for dishes. I do live in a desert, mostly.
Oh, what arrived today was a... curiosity. Someone suggested something about mooncakes, a Chinese rare delight, only served rarely... one short period of time per year, and this was that time. It's a cake, and... filling, all surrounding a cooked salted egg yolk. I received several. Okay. I have eaten half of one. And, I have to say, this is not my favorite. There are other flavors. This one is lotus seed, I believe. But there is red bean, mung bean, and several other types. I ordered several. Unfortunately, I could either order some with salted egg yolks but all the same flavor or a multi-flavor pack but without the yolks. I will offer these to some folk who might enjoy at least the experience. As, while I will probably not consume these again, save as a social gesture if called upon, I do like that I have tried something totally foreign and with only the slightest of encouragement. Both are good things. Perhaps I can lend that on. I'm chalking this up as a good thing. I do suspect that a pastry chef who knows how to do these, and makes them fresh and without the need for preservatives, these might be much better. Think packaged apple pie versus mom's fully home-made apple pie. Yeah. So, I... would like to try these fresh, someday, if the opportunity arises.
Oh. While I work in the living room, soon or later this day, I won't be stopping at just arranging a work area. I am hoping to open the living room back up, fully. Even to where I vacuum, and wet/steam vac, again. I may be onto another push to get and keep the cave clean. Health might be returning. It is worth the effort, if I have it to spend. Later.
.
It's like I hit a wall. I went to bed very late... 2:30 to 4:00, somewhere in there. Couldn't sleep, that is slipping. So waking at 6:00 or 7:00 was going to make it tough. Why I woke I can't say, but I woke as if booting fully in a second. Not a usual wake, so something woke me. Might have been the girls, or a very loud vehicle, or someone around the house. Ah, a package was delivered, that might have been it? No... not that early. The package must have arrived after I went back to bed. I then didn't wake until 13:30 or so.
It got chilly last night. This morning, I believe shortly after the first wake, the thermo suggested it had gotten down to 38, at least. It is overcast, so probably hasn't warmed much during the day. Hmm... Why did it seem to daylight bright so early? I don't know. Maybe I was more asleep still, and couldn't put things together correctly, than I thought? It just seems as if it was relatively bright when I woke already. Didn't need lights. And, yet, most mornings, at that time now, the sun isn't close to being up? Bleh... I'll... think on that one. Odd though. I sometimes really wonder if I do indeed live in some sort of artificial environment, such as the Matrix. If you are an half click out of things, they can really play with your gourd. Between your conscious shy mind and even minor doses of medication, they can really tinker in there. Not sure how they could attenuate, alter, or direct your thinking/dreams. Though if they have mind patterning down, they might be able to do so to some degree, even if they aren't fully able to know what they are doing. It wouldn't have to be the whole population... just one guy, in a coma, off the grid, who the government allows them to play with. Unmarried veterans would be an easy mark. And, no, I have no doubts they would work us over if they could.
On the good side of things, since, or because of, the crash, I am feeling good, better, ready to... actually to probably take another nap shortly, then get some work done when I get the need for sleep out of my system, one way or another. Perhaps coffee, or coffee and a shower, will do it. I'll wash the dishes first, set them out, shower, then put them back in for a soak. Yeah, remember, they have their own little plastic tub that I use for a wash basin. Even I have... ill thoughts about washing my body and dishes in the same place. Bleh! I'm... nervous about weird stuff... and that idea, to me, is weird... unless you really scrub a standard use tub after personal washes. I keep it clean, but not every time, thus a little tub for in the tub. Plus, a full tub of water is a lot more water than I want to use for dishes. I do live in a desert, mostly.
Oh, what arrived today was a... curiosity. Someone suggested something about mooncakes, a Chinese rare delight, only served rarely... one short period of time per year, and this was that time. It's a cake, and... filling, all surrounding a cooked salted egg yolk. I received several. Okay. I have eaten half of one. And, I have to say, this is not my favorite. There are other flavors. This one is lotus seed, I believe. But there is red bean, mung bean, and several other types. I ordered several. Unfortunately, I could either order some with salted egg yolks but all the same flavor or a multi-flavor pack but without the yolks. I will offer these to some folk who might enjoy at least the experience. As, while I will probably not consume these again, save as a social gesture if called upon, I do like that I have tried something totally foreign and with only the slightest of encouragement. Both are good things. Perhaps I can lend that on. I'm chalking this up as a good thing. I do suspect that a pastry chef who knows how to do these, and makes them fresh and without the need for preservatives, these might be much better. Think packaged apple pie versus mom's fully home-made apple pie. Yeah. So, I... would like to try these fresh, someday, if the opportunity arises.
Oh. While I work in the living room, soon or later this day, I won't be stopping at just arranging a work area. I am hoping to open the living room back up, fully. Even to where I vacuum, and wet/steam vac, again. I may be onto another push to get and keep the cave clean. Health might be returning. It is worth the effort, if I have it to spend. Later.
Rough and gruff.
.
.
Oh, reasons, perhaps. Not enough, not nearly enough, sleep. Still feeling a bit battered about the margins, and more. Though to be truth, feeling battered is better than feeling green about the gills. Still, battered is bruised is painful. I have started being hungry again. While a good sign, it is... a driving factor, one I am not quite ready to manage fully. I did make it to town, bought milk, fruits, eggs, butter, and cream... so, with a few other things, perhaps I can manage some feeding needs. And, of course, what is happening in the world.
Republicans are absolutely flouting that they don't give a flying fuck what the base and more and more independents want. Choosing Ryan, a worse cuckservative than even Boehner, to fill that position tells me that there is no conservative power, or will, in D.C. Our politicians are actively, and brutally, anti-American at this point. My guess is they realized how easy it was to sell out to rich Americans, but realized the rest of the world had even richer people and chose to open the bidding for their votes to those as well. Chinese government and billionaires, muslim oil barons, even minor despots here and there, all vying for a US vote. No wonder our "reps" see no reason for a border. At this point, resisting this government in every way possible, until it is broken and defeated or begins a shooting war at which point we will see how that plays out, is the only way forward. I am calling broken arrow. The enemy is not just in camp, they are in C&C and putting out bad calls. Resist, fully.
I did, since I got out obviously, get another shower in. Love those. A bath would be better, I just don't have the energy. Plus, I set the dishes up after the shower last not. Then, to town and shopping. Plus, when I returned home, I began tearing into the living room. I have the loveseat open, and part of the short table (coffee table really) that I will be working on. I had forgotten to buy something. The fans I wanted. I had forgotten that I had held off on those until the case arrived and I could give it a solid review. Various online sources had... either contradictory or confusing (comparing one to another) views on what the case could actually hold as far as fans go... and what came with it. Those were ordered and should be here by Friday. More time, which I ended up needing, to get that area sorted. And, I think, Friday is payday. A good thing, as I have some gifts to get (if available), and a new power protector outlet... for the second machine and to ensure grounding through the power supply while I work on the machine. Bleh.
Oh, something I just realized a few days ago. As bad as it might seem, life truly has improved. As for the bad? Most likely I am simply more aware of it. It isn't worse, mostly, even if it seems like it. This is the first year since I have been ill in which I was able to figure out calendars... the type you hang on the wall? Yep. Just changing them at, or near, the first of each month. This is the first year I have been able to be aware of the flow of time enough to do that. Not even in college was I able to do that. A simple thing, but... a huge thing. Even last year, there were months that would go by without me noticing the change.
Well, on to... waking? Yes. Later.
.
Oh, reasons, perhaps. Not enough, not nearly enough, sleep. Still feeling a bit battered about the margins, and more. Though to be truth, feeling battered is better than feeling green about the gills. Still, battered is bruised is painful. I have started being hungry again. While a good sign, it is... a driving factor, one I am not quite ready to manage fully. I did make it to town, bought milk, fruits, eggs, butter, and cream... so, with a few other things, perhaps I can manage some feeding needs. And, of course, what is happening in the world.
Republicans are absolutely flouting that they don't give a flying fuck what the base and more and more independents want. Choosing Ryan, a worse cuckservative than even Boehner, to fill that position tells me that there is no conservative power, or will, in D.C. Our politicians are actively, and brutally, anti-American at this point. My guess is they realized how easy it was to sell out to rich Americans, but realized the rest of the world had even richer people and chose to open the bidding for their votes to those as well. Chinese government and billionaires, muslim oil barons, even minor despots here and there, all vying for a US vote. No wonder our "reps" see no reason for a border. At this point, resisting this government in every way possible, until it is broken and defeated or begins a shooting war at which point we will see how that plays out, is the only way forward. I am calling broken arrow. The enemy is not just in camp, they are in C&C and putting out bad calls. Resist, fully.
I did, since I got out obviously, get another shower in. Love those. A bath would be better, I just don't have the energy. Plus, I set the dishes up after the shower last not. Then, to town and shopping. Plus, when I returned home, I began tearing into the living room. I have the loveseat open, and part of the short table (coffee table really) that I will be working on. I had forgotten to buy something. The fans I wanted. I had forgotten that I had held off on those until the case arrived and I could give it a solid review. Various online sources had... either contradictory or confusing (comparing one to another) views on what the case could actually hold as far as fans go... and what came with it. Those were ordered and should be here by Friday. More time, which I ended up needing, to get that area sorted. And, I think, Friday is payday. A good thing, as I have some gifts to get (if available), and a new power protector outlet... for the second machine and to ensure grounding through the power supply while I work on the machine. Bleh.
Oh, something I just realized a few days ago. As bad as it might seem, life truly has improved. As for the bad? Most likely I am simply more aware of it. It isn't worse, mostly, even if it seems like it. This is the first year since I have been ill in which I was able to figure out calendars... the type you hang on the wall? Yep. Just changing them at, or near, the first of each month. This is the first year I have been able to be aware of the flow of time enough to do that. Not even in college was I able to do that. A simple thing, but... a huge thing. Even last year, there were months that would go by without me noticing the change.
Well, on to... waking? Yes. Later.
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Well, maybe.
.
.
Okay. Not bad. I actually finished the laundry yesterday. Not only washing, but yes, folding or hanging and putting it all away. I finished the last of the old dishes I had going for so long, and collected all the "new" dirty dishes. After a shower, those will go in. And the electronics mat arrived, with the last of the items I bought. The only thing that might hang things a bit is wanting to add a few fans. Perhaps they can be found locally though. The size, for some, is the problem... 230 mm fans aren't exactly typical. Black would be fine, but blue would be better.
I didn't just go with standard whatall, for the computer. And yet I didn't push the style envelope, just a few touches. It's sort of like when buying a new car. Sure, you can get the leather interior, the hyper-tech package, the whitewalls (don't offer those these days, innit?), or whatnot. But really, go with what you need, the color you want if possible, a few luxuries, but stick with the basics. Going over too far and you end up with a one of a kind. Sounds good until you need to fix something. Same with computers. Still, I allowed for a bit of play, to my liking. Sad thing is, others might not even know. I remember a middle aged woman who had foot problems. Her husband suggested that she chose style over comfort or health with her shoes. I... don't think, from the look on his face, that I said the right thing. I will tell you, however, that many rich people have really sucky taste. I guess their taste is by price? Exclusiveness is more important than the rest? Because her shoes, and trust me on this darlings, looked like little old lady shoes. My lady of the time heard the whole thing. Oh, she agreed with me, but was such a suckup that she was ashamed I had spoken the truth. *grins* I like dames, more so when I do my thing with them. Good fight, Good God, good sex. *wink*
Anyway... A shower, then a soak for the new dishes. Then a bit of a rest, and... who knows. I might move on to a few, or many, other tasks. Sleep is off, but I'm not going to let that get in the way. Work the hours you are awake, don't try to force a schedule you can't keep. I've learned that over and over and over and it finally stuck. If I can't work, then I'll hit the schedule. Do what you can, when you can. Don't just do something, sit there, if all else fails. Which... it does, from time to time. Simply not my preferred however.
Now that I'm finished twisting notions and causing nose bleeds from this or that, I'll... go get wet. *smile* It's as close as taking a long walk off a short pier as you get, so hold it dear. Later.
.
Okay. Not bad. I actually finished the laundry yesterday. Not only washing, but yes, folding or hanging and putting it all away. I finished the last of the old dishes I had going for so long, and collected all the "new" dirty dishes. After a shower, those will go in. And the electronics mat arrived, with the last of the items I bought. The only thing that might hang things a bit is wanting to add a few fans. Perhaps they can be found locally though. The size, for some, is the problem... 230 mm fans aren't exactly typical. Black would be fine, but blue would be better.
I didn't just go with standard whatall, for the computer. And yet I didn't push the style envelope, just a few touches. It's sort of like when buying a new car. Sure, you can get the leather interior, the hyper-tech package, the whitewalls (don't offer those these days, innit?), or whatnot. But really, go with what you need, the color you want if possible, a few luxuries, but stick with the basics. Going over too far and you end up with a one of a kind. Sounds good until you need to fix something. Same with computers. Still, I allowed for a bit of play, to my liking. Sad thing is, others might not even know. I remember a middle aged woman who had foot problems. Her husband suggested that she chose style over comfort or health with her shoes. I... don't think, from the look on his face, that I said the right thing. I will tell you, however, that many rich people have really sucky taste. I guess their taste is by price? Exclusiveness is more important than the rest? Because her shoes, and trust me on this darlings, looked like little old lady shoes. My lady of the time heard the whole thing. Oh, she agreed with me, but was such a suckup that she was ashamed I had spoken the truth. *grins* I like dames, more so when I do my thing with them. Good fight, Good God, good sex. *wink*
Anyway... A shower, then a soak for the new dishes. Then a bit of a rest, and... who knows. I might move on to a few, or many, other tasks. Sleep is off, but I'm not going to let that get in the way. Work the hours you are awake, don't try to force a schedule you can't keep. I've learned that over and over and over and it finally stuck. If I can't work, then I'll hit the schedule. Do what you can, when you can. Don't just do something, sit there, if all else fails. Which... it does, from time to time. Simply not my preferred however.
Now that I'm finished twisting notions and causing nose bleeds from this or that, I'll... go get wet. *smile* It's as close as taking a long walk off a short pier as you get, so hold it dear. Later.
Monday, October 26, 2015
I've known my share.
.
.
Dunno, just daydreaming as I was going through my last few days. Something was bubbling up. Then I saw a song and thought, oh, so... that's the deal. Yeah. Those I have known have been mild to maximum. I have learned that, save for some of the special cases, to know one is to choose or make one. Every once in a while there is one just because.
.
Dunno, just daydreaming as I was going through my last few days. Something was bubbling up. Then I saw a song and thought, oh, so... that's the deal. Yeah. Those I have known have been mild to maximum. I have learned that, save for some of the special cases, to know one is to choose or make one. Every once in a while there is one just because.
New day, new week.
.
.
My bedtime keeps slipping. With it, of course, my wake time is getting later. No real fuss, with the sun becoming more like a distant cousin than a household family member, and cool returning, this is more likely to happen. Feeling a bit rough, haven't sloughed that since I cut back insulin. Not sure it was just about that, if that didn't help. More, I am still not sure about supply. Keeps the cage rattled.
I forgot to take the trash to the curb last night, or get the last bag to the big bin. I woke, I think, in time to get that done, if I hurried. Which I did. The girls aren't used to me moving that fast first thing. They are still, usually, sleepy too first thing. Remember that cats sleep off and on all day. Sleep, then food, then voiding. You get everything that remains... expect for their grooming time, play time (though they might use you in some of that), and some other things. Okay, lets face it... humans are great big, warmed, lounges... with massage and scratching built in. But not the belly! In any case, all moved quickly enough that, in his hasted, the cave ogre didn't run over or step on any delicate part of the other residents. Though I think it may have been close. Sassy always gives me a funny look when she has been made to scamper, or even fear. Sam doesn't really care. She'll write it in her book and balance the books later, doesn't bother with dirty or weird or hurt feeling looks.
I should know within an hour or two if I made it out early enough. While they have actually quieted the trucks quite a bit, they are still fairly loud, slow, or more deliberate, roving devices. Strange now, that no one gets out. I almost don't think about it, but it used to be that someone drove and someone would hop out and dump the trash in. I guess there were too many men hurt doing that. You know, for equality's sake, why didn't women ever demand equal opportunity in that job? If they don't do the bad, why should they be allowed to enjoy the good? If equality is to be entertained, let us entertain it fully, in a mandatory way, as it is half being done currently.
Awake, not too gruff, not at all actually, and ready for... something. Or I will be before long. I just need to wake. Later.
.
My bedtime keeps slipping. With it, of course, my wake time is getting later. No real fuss, with the sun becoming more like a distant cousin than a household family member, and cool returning, this is more likely to happen. Feeling a bit rough, haven't sloughed that since I cut back insulin. Not sure it was just about that, if that didn't help. More, I am still not sure about supply. Keeps the cage rattled.
I forgot to take the trash to the curb last night, or get the last bag to the big bin. I woke, I think, in time to get that done, if I hurried. Which I did. The girls aren't used to me moving that fast first thing. They are still, usually, sleepy too first thing. Remember that cats sleep off and on all day. Sleep, then food, then voiding. You get everything that remains... expect for their grooming time, play time (though they might use you in some of that), and some other things. Okay, lets face it... humans are great big, warmed, lounges... with massage and scratching built in. But not the belly! In any case, all moved quickly enough that, in his hasted, the cave ogre didn't run over or step on any delicate part of the other residents. Though I think it may have been close. Sassy always gives me a funny look when she has been made to scamper, or even fear. Sam doesn't really care. She'll write it in her book and balance the books later, doesn't bother with dirty or weird or hurt feeling looks.
I should know within an hour or two if I made it out early enough. While they have actually quieted the trucks quite a bit, they are still fairly loud, slow, or more deliberate, roving devices. Strange now, that no one gets out. I almost don't think about it, but it used to be that someone drove and someone would hop out and dump the trash in. I guess there were too many men hurt doing that. You know, for equality's sake, why didn't women ever demand equal opportunity in that job? If they don't do the bad, why should they be allowed to enjoy the good? If equality is to be entertained, let us entertain it fully, in a mandatory way, as it is half being done currently.
Awake, not too gruff, not at all actually, and ready for... something. Or I will be before long. I just need to wake. Later.
Sunday, October 25, 2015
New tech, old problems.
.
.
Windows 7? Better for stability, and gaming. Also full of holes. Not as bad as 8, 8.1, and definitely not as bad as 10. Those leave the doors unlocked, windows open, and provide maps to private data, not just for MS but for .gov, .corp, .mil, .int, .cop, but .crook too. More holes than a "no shooting" sign in backwater Iowa. Just getting it hooked up without becoming infected is a trick. Can't trust service providers, they sold out and give up on any request without ever even letting you know you are directly being hacked. Black courts decide, or more rubber stamp, the decision to flout your God given rights.
No, probably can't really win, but I can make them earn their blood money. And, so, I am looking at ways of doing this and that. The thing is, if you go too far in the opposite direction of .gov you land in a pure .crook. They are quite similar. One just wants all your information, connections, proclivities, and such. The other is really only interested in your accounts. Both, given enough laxity from scrutiny, will kill you dead, only the reasons are slightly different, up front. In the end they are the same, to cover their sins... which, oddly, they deny exist. Stalin didn't like the world to know that he murdered 40 million of his own, at least. In spite of not believing, somehow, that the butchery was evil. Odd how even those without a conscience or understanding of God know what they do is evil. As to what is going on in the Catholic church? Just understand, Stalin was well trained by the Jesuits. Yeah, really should ban that group from the church, for good and all.
Anyway... there are little ways and whiles. None of them are perfect. None of them will work if your system is already jacked. Assume all Windows machines connected to the internet for any time are hacked. So... best to do these sorts of things before introducing viruses, trojans, and the like. Might even look at how to freeze off components, once installed. Flashing, erasing, eliminating. The problem is that there are so many components with their own sorts of memory. Some are required, but may be infected. Anything made in China is suspect. Did you read that sentence? Yes, it's true.
Don't think of this as paranoia. These are simply the facts. If you aren't aware of them, that doesn't change their nature. You probably don't know that you can only fall just so fast through space... actually through that atmosphere. You will only "fall" in space if there is a significantly dense mass close enough to pull you. There is a limit as to how fast you can fall in the atmosphere due to a number of factors, it is called the terminal velocity. Due to friction and a few other things, this may vary from object to object, object to person, and person to person. Just because you did not know that does not make it not so, nor does me knowing it make me... confused. I'll happily bet money on it. Why don't you know? Because it is too difficult for most to handle, change, without, you know, actually realizing the fix we are in, and even so, most are too weak to challenge authority. And... it might be dangerous to attempt to sidestep, trip that up, or figure a way to be invisible. But it is true.
Still, I am looking at ways. I figure most security suites are corrupted. Men in black have visited and laid out the rules, big corporations have suggested their OS's won't operate without holes for themselves, other .corps, and .gov. And courts have been corrupted to rule silently, and against freedom. So, I have to look at this practically. I might be able to create small windows of privacy. I might be able to shut off snooper for a bit. But the game is rigged. Still, if I can get it to work, just a bit... We'll see.
Just... mansplaining a few things for the world. Manspreading, ideologically, for all to see. Yeah. I'm not a modern man. I'm a real one. With a bit of a penchant for not going along to get along. *wink* The machine isn't together, and the last of the last (save maybe a few connectors or extenders) should be in by Tuesday, so a start probably Wednesday. So I have a bit of time to try to figure out how to set things as cautiously as possible. James Bond never had to do these things quite so diy, mostly. But then they almost always knew what, or who, he was doing. Not my gig.
Oh, and I may have found the type of dog I want. Maybe? What do you think? I'm thinking... easy to clean up after, cheap to feed, no worries about frostbitten paws in winter or overheating in summer. Can take everywhere, if I can teach him to be quiet. And, while not a fighter, an excellent dog to lead off a major predator or act as a barking alarm that is difficult to quiet!
ht Blur Brain
.
Windows 7? Better for stability, and gaming. Also full of holes. Not as bad as 8, 8.1, and definitely not as bad as 10. Those leave the doors unlocked, windows open, and provide maps to private data, not just for MS but for .gov, .corp, .mil, .int, .cop, but .crook too. More holes than a "no shooting" sign in backwater Iowa. Just getting it hooked up without becoming infected is a trick. Can't trust service providers, they sold out and give up on any request without ever even letting you know you are directly being hacked. Black courts decide, or more rubber stamp, the decision to flout your God given rights.
No, probably can't really win, but I can make them earn their blood money. And, so, I am looking at ways of doing this and that. The thing is, if you go too far in the opposite direction of .gov you land in a pure .crook. They are quite similar. One just wants all your information, connections, proclivities, and such. The other is really only interested in your accounts. Both, given enough laxity from scrutiny, will kill you dead, only the reasons are slightly different, up front. In the end they are the same, to cover their sins... which, oddly, they deny exist. Stalin didn't like the world to know that he murdered 40 million of his own, at least. In spite of not believing, somehow, that the butchery was evil. Odd how even those without a conscience or understanding of God know what they do is evil. As to what is going on in the Catholic church? Just understand, Stalin was well trained by the Jesuits. Yeah, really should ban that group from the church, for good and all.
Anyway... there are little ways and whiles. None of them are perfect. None of them will work if your system is already jacked. Assume all Windows machines connected to the internet for any time are hacked. So... best to do these sorts of things before introducing viruses, trojans, and the like. Might even look at how to freeze off components, once installed. Flashing, erasing, eliminating. The problem is that there are so many components with their own sorts of memory. Some are required, but may be infected. Anything made in China is suspect. Did you read that sentence? Yes, it's true.
Don't think of this as paranoia. These are simply the facts. If you aren't aware of them, that doesn't change their nature. You probably don't know that you can only fall just so fast through space... actually through that atmosphere. You will only "fall" in space if there is a significantly dense mass close enough to pull you. There is a limit as to how fast you can fall in the atmosphere due to a number of factors, it is called the terminal velocity. Due to friction and a few other things, this may vary from object to object, object to person, and person to person. Just because you did not know that does not make it not so, nor does me knowing it make me... confused. I'll happily bet money on it. Why don't you know? Because it is too difficult for most to handle, change, without, you know, actually realizing the fix we are in, and even so, most are too weak to challenge authority. And... it might be dangerous to attempt to sidestep, trip that up, or figure a way to be invisible. But it is true.
Still, I am looking at ways. I figure most security suites are corrupted. Men in black have visited and laid out the rules, big corporations have suggested their OS's won't operate without holes for themselves, other .corps, and .gov. And courts have been corrupted to rule silently, and against freedom. So, I have to look at this practically. I might be able to create small windows of privacy. I might be able to shut off snooper for a bit. But the game is rigged. Still, if I can get it to work, just a bit... We'll see.
Just... mansplaining a few things for the world. Manspreading, ideologically, for all to see. Yeah. I'm not a modern man. I'm a real one. With a bit of a penchant for not going along to get along. *wink* The machine isn't together, and the last of the last (save maybe a few connectors or extenders) should be in by Tuesday, so a start probably Wednesday. So I have a bit of time to try to figure out how to set things as cautiously as possible. James Bond never had to do these things quite so diy, mostly. But then they almost always knew what, or who, he was doing. Not my gig.
Oh, and I may have found the type of dog I want. Maybe? What do you think? I'm thinking... easy to clean up after, cheap to feed, no worries about frostbitten paws in winter or overheating in summer. Can take everywhere, if I can teach him to be quiet. And, while not a fighter, an excellent dog to lead off a major predator or act as a barking alarm that is difficult to quiet!
Very short on sleep.
.
.
Playing like I was a kid, I was up all night. There were a number of topics I was doing rough research regarding, interspersed with old music and trying to rebuild some of the lost video elements from the past. Sometimes I just don't remember what song fit that spot, sometimes that music video is gone and even if I do remember, I can't find another copy, or suitable version, of it. I was up until 6:30? Something. And I am waking right at 10:30. Not sure how well this will go. Sometimes it works perfectly, as a life reset. Sometimes the stumble causes me to crash and burn at speed. Odd how when I have a woman these things begin to balance. I still run the clock, either asleep or awake, from time to time. But I recover quicker, usually much quicker. She becomes, mostly, my internal clock.
I'm not feeling bad for the overnighter. Not yet anyway. I dreamed of dealing with a woman, several times, last night. How do you put things? When speaking to a woman, you put them differently. Do you wish her attention and action? Do you want her alliance? Are you going to use her to burn something for you? You, as a man, are the lead. Whether conscious or not, whether with intent or not, when you begin the thing, you do lead regardless. She WILL follow. She will, rightly or wrongly, love or hate you for it. Not that either mean a thing if you are to do what is right in the full breadth of that meaning. Many men simply can't live with being in charge. Much as many parents can't handle being in charge. Ask any teacher where that goes. A headless family is no different. Better to have a poor leader than none. Women are not leaders.
Being a leader isn't about getting what you want, either. It's about serving. Why do you think the head of the family is literally, biblically, compared to being Christ, and the wife is considered the Holy Church? What did Christ do for the Holy Church? He lived, He taught, He sacrificed, He returned to life even then and returned to help a bit more, and He will return again. I'm as close to a man who can do that since, if less than many husbands in other ways... or so far. My problem was I tried to believe women were equal (in order that I could abandon them at some point in their frustrated protestations at my leadership). Then again, modern women are in on that gig. Which is why most divorces are initiated by women. They, even in modernity, 'do their daddy's will". I just, back when I didn't see, didn't bother to marry.
Anyway. As much as I understand there is much that I don't, some that I never will. We aren't machines, we aren't coded, what works there won't work here. Marriage is a patchwork of mutual forgivenesses, bindings, bits of work, and in the end a talent. The relationship itself, in a fallen world, tries to be worldly and end. It takes a lot of effort, on both sides, to mold it, then maintain it. Sometimes on a wing and a prayer, sometimes without the wing.
It was good, even if just in dreams, to have a woman look to me for answers again. Oh, they don't really want answers. In one sense. And yet that is what they get when they ask, and they do ask. Never worry if they disregard your answers. My finest women haven't just been miracle girls, they have been my favored 'no' girls. I expect, often, them to initially not want or like or accept that answer. In time, if I told them true, sometimes I see that they have taken my answer as if they had always believed it. Arguing only delays that. Not on everything, on much. Though, make sure you leave some things very open for her to disagree. First, beside being a woman... a disagreeable sort if I ever saw such... she is also just a human, and must tender notions all her own, even if, deep down, or even closer to the surface, she knows them to be wrong. When I speed five miles over the limit? Same thing. *wink* You, as the husband, are an authority. As such, you must, in some varied ways, be resisted. Just... keep an eye on how far. Inch... mile... Just... saying.
Oh, today? I'm going to work if I can hit that sweet spot. I haven't been doing much, but a little. I will keep that up. I'm doing more work trying to get to work than I am working. Some sort of bottleneck of ill health I suppose. That don't confront me none, so long as I get food once in a while and give it my best. Later.
.
Playing like I was a kid, I was up all night. There were a number of topics I was doing rough research regarding, interspersed with old music and trying to rebuild some of the lost video elements from the past. Sometimes I just don't remember what song fit that spot, sometimes that music video is gone and even if I do remember, I can't find another copy, or suitable version, of it. I was up until 6:30? Something. And I am waking right at 10:30. Not sure how well this will go. Sometimes it works perfectly, as a life reset. Sometimes the stumble causes me to crash and burn at speed. Odd how when I have a woman these things begin to balance. I still run the clock, either asleep or awake, from time to time. But I recover quicker, usually much quicker. She becomes, mostly, my internal clock.
I'm not feeling bad for the overnighter. Not yet anyway. I dreamed of dealing with a woman, several times, last night. How do you put things? When speaking to a woman, you put them differently. Do you wish her attention and action? Do you want her alliance? Are you going to use her to burn something for you? You, as a man, are the lead. Whether conscious or not, whether with intent or not, when you begin the thing, you do lead regardless. She WILL follow. She will, rightly or wrongly, love or hate you for it. Not that either mean a thing if you are to do what is right in the full breadth of that meaning. Many men simply can't live with being in charge. Much as many parents can't handle being in charge. Ask any teacher where that goes. A headless family is no different. Better to have a poor leader than none. Women are not leaders.
Being a leader isn't about getting what you want, either. It's about serving. Why do you think the head of the family is literally, biblically, compared to being Christ, and the wife is considered the Holy Church? What did Christ do for the Holy Church? He lived, He taught, He sacrificed, He returned to life even then and returned to help a bit more, and He will return again. I'm as close to a man who can do that since, if less than many husbands in other ways... or so far. My problem was I tried to believe women were equal (in order that I could abandon them at some point in their frustrated protestations at my leadership). Then again, modern women are in on that gig. Which is why most divorces are initiated by women. They, even in modernity, 'do their daddy's will". I just, back when I didn't see, didn't bother to marry.
Anyway. As much as I understand there is much that I don't, some that I never will. We aren't machines, we aren't coded, what works there won't work here. Marriage is a patchwork of mutual forgivenesses, bindings, bits of work, and in the end a talent. The relationship itself, in a fallen world, tries to be worldly and end. It takes a lot of effort, on both sides, to mold it, then maintain it. Sometimes on a wing and a prayer, sometimes without the wing.
It was good, even if just in dreams, to have a woman look to me for answers again. Oh, they don't really want answers. In one sense. And yet that is what they get when they ask, and they do ask. Never worry if they disregard your answers. My finest women haven't just been miracle girls, they have been my favored 'no' girls. I expect, often, them to initially not want or like or accept that answer. In time, if I told them true, sometimes I see that they have taken my answer as if they had always believed it. Arguing only delays that. Not on everything, on much. Though, make sure you leave some things very open for her to disagree. First, beside being a woman... a disagreeable sort if I ever saw such... she is also just a human, and must tender notions all her own, even if, deep down, or even closer to the surface, she knows them to be wrong. When I speed five miles over the limit? Same thing. *wink* You, as the husband, are an authority. As such, you must, in some varied ways, be resisted. Just... keep an eye on how far. Inch... mile... Just... saying.
Oh, today? I'm going to work if I can hit that sweet spot. I haven't been doing much, but a little. I will keep that up. I'm doing more work trying to get to work than I am working. Some sort of bottleneck of ill health I suppose. That don't confront me none, so long as I get food once in a while and give it my best. Later.
Saturday, October 24, 2015
Not great, not bad.
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.
Some things started. Not much, but... I'll be folding and putting up the towels shortly. Then hitting the last of the dishes, at least what I rounded up last time. A shower after that. Then, maybe, setting up another grouping of dishes. Not much to do, as far as extra dishes. Just a sinkload or so. If I can jump on that, I might finish with dishes for the week.
I looked around for games, pc games, that didn't require Steam or other online memberships. I think they will begin hitting resistance. Then again, most gamers are kids. Rational thinking, or even privacy, aren't an issue for them. Funny thing is, I need less privacy than they, and desire, and push for it, far more strongly. If this government is the future, they will wish they had chosen privacy when they go for a raise, sometime in the future, only to be told the government says no, in spite of being in the "private" sector. Or they are turned down for education. Though men have stopped going to college. Some colleges are seeing a 70% female population. Education, at this point, is pretty useless. Still, it will come back to haunt them, all of them. SWJ's are in charge. Sure, there is GamerGate. But that is in one small area, and not even truly driven by conservatives. There are as many liberals in that group as not. Can't last. If a group isn't fundamentally against liberal ideas, it always turns into a liberal institution. Always.
Hmm... It is a good day though. I'm still a bit rough, though without pain. I can see through slits in the curtains out onto a wonderful fall day. I am enjoying. Now that I have some things worked out, and Sassy is old enough not to be a psycho around insects, I can probably replace some curtains. I got the thick thermal defense type. But they have holes in them, as if shot by a tiny machine gun. Sassy went after a type of bug I just couldn't keep out. Not a truly problem bug, just if you have certain trees, or such, they gather. And in such numbers that they can't be kept out. She couldn't eat them, they have a nasty taste so I have heard, a self defense. But she could sure kill them! She has mellowed, and I have found stuff that has taken care of them, mostly. Now I can replace the curtains, and probably add sheers, so as to have a varying amount of light, visibility, and heat/cold defense. Soon. Takes a long time for things to all match up and work out, doesn't it? Just noticed that I can finally have new, and upgraded, window dressings. Yum.
I would love to go shopping, maybe get a bite to eat. Not sure that is possible. Lots of stuff to do between now and what would be then. Still, it's on my mind. Later.
.
Some things started. Not much, but... I'll be folding and putting up the towels shortly. Then hitting the last of the dishes, at least what I rounded up last time. A shower after that. Then, maybe, setting up another grouping of dishes. Not much to do, as far as extra dishes. Just a sinkload or so. If I can jump on that, I might finish with dishes for the week.
I looked around for games, pc games, that didn't require Steam or other online memberships. I think they will begin hitting resistance. Then again, most gamers are kids. Rational thinking, or even privacy, aren't an issue for them. Funny thing is, I need less privacy than they, and desire, and push for it, far more strongly. If this government is the future, they will wish they had chosen privacy when they go for a raise, sometime in the future, only to be told the government says no, in spite of being in the "private" sector. Or they are turned down for education. Though men have stopped going to college. Some colleges are seeing a 70% female population. Education, at this point, is pretty useless. Still, it will come back to haunt them, all of them. SWJ's are in charge. Sure, there is GamerGate. But that is in one small area, and not even truly driven by conservatives. There are as many liberals in that group as not. Can't last. If a group isn't fundamentally against liberal ideas, it always turns into a liberal institution. Always.
Hmm... It is a good day though. I'm still a bit rough, though without pain. I can see through slits in the curtains out onto a wonderful fall day. I am enjoying. Now that I have some things worked out, and Sassy is old enough not to be a psycho around insects, I can probably replace some curtains. I got the thick thermal defense type. But they have holes in them, as if shot by a tiny machine gun. Sassy went after a type of bug I just couldn't keep out. Not a truly problem bug, just if you have certain trees, or such, they gather. And in such numbers that they can't be kept out. She couldn't eat them, they have a nasty taste so I have heard, a self defense. But she could sure kill them! She has mellowed, and I have found stuff that has taken care of them, mostly. Now I can replace the curtains, and probably add sheers, so as to have a varying amount of light, visibility, and heat/cold defense. Soon. Takes a long time for things to all match up and work out, doesn't it? Just noticed that I can finally have new, and upgraded, window dressings. Yum.
I would love to go shopping, maybe get a bite to eat. Not sure that is possible. Lots of stuff to do between now and what would be then. Still, it's on my mind. Later.
Up and at it.
.
.
I think I beat 10:00. I only let the girls in a few times a week, and yet they still help. They have learned to knock on my door, or make other noises in the house. Yes, I do have furry little fanged children. And they want me awake. Now that I don't feed them right when I wake, and the time can vary from a few to many hours before I feed them, they aren't as... insistent. And yet they do like attention. So... *tap, tap, tap*... *meow*... even the forlorn mewl of a starving feline, left to the wilds. They sound so sad. It is, for me, truly entertaining. Several sorts of skits they play for me. I have seen children do these things too.
I wasn't able to get as far on my work list yesterday as I had hoped. From what I saw, the power supply had not arrived. That... sort of killed it for me, a bit. Oh, I did some good work, just not to where I had wanted and even more hoped to go and do. Yes, grownups can pout, or get hurt feelings, and then not play their part well. Still, I did get some nice little chunks done and am in good enough shape to do more today. More, after checking online at the vendor, I was informed that the item had arrived. Huh? I was about to bite a head off, or my version of that, when I decided to make a last physical check. Not in the back, but on the front step, there it was. I checked the site. It seems it was delivered at 20:51(?or later). Wow, that is the latest I have ever received a package. I hadn't been tracking it since it didn't look like it had actually been sent just a day earlier... I just assumed it would be late. So... now my mojo and incentive are back, perhaps, maybe I can dig more. Or, maybe, I am just going to have to take it slow and do what I can, when I can.
I will be checking some other things. I want to set up an area for working with the machine. I am not sure what makes for good static discharge material. I may have some, if... no... While some neoprene mats are made as electronics mats, they aren't generally made with that quality. I need to get in and see if I can find an antistatic bench mat. Along with the anti-static strap to clip onto the power supply, that should keep that covered. In Iowa, where humidity was the norm, it wasn't so bad. But here in Utah, static electricity is so easy to generate. Just a little zap will do ya.
Something dark is brewing. Not so much in the world. Or, well, yes, in the world, but that is normal for the world. Something is chewing it's way through. Dreams have been darkening. A bitter psychic taste is being left as sleep's aftertaste. Might go away, might not. We'll see. Later.
.
I think I beat 10:00. I only let the girls in a few times a week, and yet they still help. They have learned to knock on my door, or make other noises in the house. Yes, I do have furry little fanged children. And they want me awake. Now that I don't feed them right when I wake, and the time can vary from a few to many hours before I feed them, they aren't as... insistent. And yet they do like attention. So... *tap, tap, tap*... *meow*... even the forlorn mewl of a starving feline, left to the wilds. They sound so sad. It is, for me, truly entertaining. Several sorts of skits they play for me. I have seen children do these things too.
I wasn't able to get as far on my work list yesterday as I had hoped. From what I saw, the power supply had not arrived. That... sort of killed it for me, a bit. Oh, I did some good work, just not to where I had wanted and even more hoped to go and do. Yes, grownups can pout, or get hurt feelings, and then not play their part well. Still, I did get some nice little chunks done and am in good enough shape to do more today. More, after checking online at the vendor, I was informed that the item had arrived. Huh? I was about to bite a head off, or my version of that, when I decided to make a last physical check. Not in the back, but on the front step, there it was. I checked the site. It seems it was delivered at 20:51(?or later). Wow, that is the latest I have ever received a package. I hadn't been tracking it since it didn't look like it had actually been sent just a day earlier... I just assumed it would be late. So... now my mojo and incentive are back, perhaps, maybe I can dig more. Or, maybe, I am just going to have to take it slow and do what I can, when I can.
I will be checking some other things. I want to set up an area for working with the machine. I am not sure what makes for good static discharge material. I may have some, if... no... While some neoprene mats are made as electronics mats, they aren't generally made with that quality. I need to get in and see if I can find an antistatic bench mat. Along with the anti-static strap to clip onto the power supply, that should keep that covered. In Iowa, where humidity was the norm, it wasn't so bad. But here in Utah, static electricity is so easy to generate. Just a little zap will do ya.
Something dark is brewing. Not so much in the world. Or, well, yes, in the world, but that is normal for the world. Something is chewing it's way through. Dreams have been darkening. A bitter psychic taste is being left as sleep's aftertaste. Might go away, might not. We'll see. Later.
Friday, October 23, 2015
Some work, questions, and answers.
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.
Before I even really woke I reset the dishes. Not only that, I dried and put about half of them up. Then set the towels in the dryer to a fluff tumble. Hmm, brots are thawed, but I might wait on those until I get a load of quinoa going. Not much, but when work kicks off early it's usually a good sign.
I was recently approached, in a more general way, regarding love. A young man who is at a good age for finding love. He seems healthy, able, interested, and willing. I put something general out, received a reply, then realized a fundamental had not been touched upon. Does he have faith? Without that, the chances of a life pairing are slim. At best, I figure, for the secular set, twelve to twenty. Without both having a belief in a set of objective truths, everything is subjective, and the subjective is not enduring.
I let him know that, if he doesn't have faith, I don't even suggest looking for a wife. Even if he wants children, that is easier to deal with outside of marriage. Sex is cheaper in other venues. Whatever he is looking for can be found outside of marriage, for far less risk and cost. None of it is... superior to marriage. But without objective beliefs, marriage in any case is too much for those who can't abide truths beyond their wants, and in these times where marriage has become a terrible burden on men it is not to be entered without some hope of longevity, even permanency.
There is more, but start from the start. No, I don't recommend someone find God to find a woman. I don't think it works like that. If you can see that God holds the keys to the kingdom, perhaps that might get you there. But faith is not, really, derived from the hope of physical love, nor the desire for money or any other fleshly thing. You are called or you are not. Perhaps just advising as I did will get him to look. But being European, almost alone as a Christian should he go that way, I'm not sure it would work anyway.
Complicated. Yes. True? I think so. Then, once you get past all that, assuming you make it and find a woman who is a Christian as well? Even that isn't the ending point. That is just the beginning. Even a Christian woman is a woman, and has needs and wants that only a strong man will fill. They aren't what she says, not always. Her words are good guides, I'll just say that. Look to tradition to know her real needs, which is "why" marriage, and family. See where she is going in life, her part of life, and your life together, to see where and how to help her. And listen, or... yeah... as much as you can. Or at least let her feel as if you listened. :p
I sent him a link to this place. I don't think he will get it. I just... I'm not sure I have more to say, specifically. Through these pages I have spilled my thoughts, used music to express, and put as much of the world together as I can. What caught his attention was something I wrote, as a comment, long ago. Something about sigmas making our own world. I still believe that is true. And I still do so, more than some realize until you see me change hearts and minds of even dead-eyed bureaucrats, while calling them just that. And, I live. Even though, we all know, that... isn't really quite possible. God has his part, I have mine. And so it is.
Oh, right... On to a bit of gaming. Then in a bit, laundry or dishes, then the other. And, finally, if I finish enough of those, a shower and some of the living room work. Maybe. Later.
.
Before I even really woke I reset the dishes. Not only that, I dried and put about half of them up. Then set the towels in the dryer to a fluff tumble. Hmm, brots are thawed, but I might wait on those until I get a load of quinoa going. Not much, but when work kicks off early it's usually a good sign.
I was recently approached, in a more general way, regarding love. A young man who is at a good age for finding love. He seems healthy, able, interested, and willing. I put something general out, received a reply, then realized a fundamental had not been touched upon. Does he have faith? Without that, the chances of a life pairing are slim. At best, I figure, for the secular set, twelve to twenty. Without both having a belief in a set of objective truths, everything is subjective, and the subjective is not enduring.
I let him know that, if he doesn't have faith, I don't even suggest looking for a wife. Even if he wants children, that is easier to deal with outside of marriage. Sex is cheaper in other venues. Whatever he is looking for can be found outside of marriage, for far less risk and cost. None of it is... superior to marriage. But without objective beliefs, marriage in any case is too much for those who can't abide truths beyond their wants, and in these times where marriage has become a terrible burden on men it is not to be entered without some hope of longevity, even permanency.
There is more, but start from the start. No, I don't recommend someone find God to find a woman. I don't think it works like that. If you can see that God holds the keys to the kingdom, perhaps that might get you there. But faith is not, really, derived from the hope of physical love, nor the desire for money or any other fleshly thing. You are called or you are not. Perhaps just advising as I did will get him to look. But being European, almost alone as a Christian should he go that way, I'm not sure it would work anyway.
Complicated. Yes. True? I think so. Then, once you get past all that, assuming you make it and find a woman who is a Christian as well? Even that isn't the ending point. That is just the beginning. Even a Christian woman is a woman, and has needs and wants that only a strong man will fill. They aren't what she says, not always. Her words are good guides, I'll just say that. Look to tradition to know her real needs, which is "why" marriage, and family. See where she is going in life, her part of life, and your life together, to see where and how to help her. And listen, or... yeah... as much as you can. Or at least let her feel as if you listened. :p
I sent him a link to this place. I don't think he will get it. I just... I'm not sure I have more to say, specifically. Through these pages I have spilled my thoughts, used music to express, and put as much of the world together as I can. What caught his attention was something I wrote, as a comment, long ago. Something about sigmas making our own world. I still believe that is true. And I still do so, more than some realize until you see me change hearts and minds of even dead-eyed bureaucrats, while calling them just that. And, I live. Even though, we all know, that... isn't really quite possible. God has his part, I have mine. And so it is.
Oh, right... On to a bit of gaming. Then in a bit, laundry or dishes, then the other. And, finally, if I finish enough of those, a shower and some of the living room work. Maybe. Later.
Late, later.
.
.
Late to bed, just couldn't sleep. Later waking up. I even let the girls in. Oh, and they bugged me. They will sleep with me all night, mostly. But when they think I should be up... it is quite like having real children... or certain children. My brother was a morning boy when a midget anyway. I was also a night owl. They tickle my face, get me to pet them, mewl, meow, and play, trying to get me up and out. No slouches, my young furry ladies have learned how best to do it. And, if it fails, they take a break and come back in a bit. Took them three runs at it to get the ogre to rise this morning. But they kept at it. And, actually, I am grateful. They have learned not to cause bleeding or pain. Other than that, they can bug me all day long if need be, off and on.
I slept well, no dreams to report. I am seeming to feel better this morning, so I am hoping to push through a bit more on work. I am just... right... there. I'm at the tipping point to get back on my feet, but they drag, for now. I did kick over two loads of laundry yesterday, the last of which is in the dryer, and should be dry. And the dishes are ready. So I haven't completely stopped, I'm just not moving as fast as I would like. Yeah, I even kicked the dishes through several rinses yesterday. While that doesn't get them dried and put up, it does keep the rinse water clear and clean. Water goes fast around here, for whatever reason. I want the dishes so as to get shower, and maybe out, in the next few days.
Hrm? I hope the power supply isn't coming in the mail. I ought to check that. Our post is only open in the morning, and I am losing mornings, so... Bleh. I'll check. If not, it should be here today. Either way it should be here today, it's just that if it's at the post I am pretty much already too late to go get it. Later.
.
Late to bed, just couldn't sleep. Later waking up. I even let the girls in. Oh, and they bugged me. They will sleep with me all night, mostly. But when they think I should be up... it is quite like having real children... or certain children. My brother was a morning boy when a midget anyway. I was also a night owl. They tickle my face, get me to pet them, mewl, meow, and play, trying to get me up and out. No slouches, my young furry ladies have learned how best to do it. And, if it fails, they take a break and come back in a bit. Took them three runs at it to get the ogre to rise this morning. But they kept at it. And, actually, I am grateful. They have learned not to cause bleeding or pain. Other than that, they can bug me all day long if need be, off and on.
I slept well, no dreams to report. I am seeming to feel better this morning, so I am hoping to push through a bit more on work. I am just... right... there. I'm at the tipping point to get back on my feet, but they drag, for now. I did kick over two loads of laundry yesterday, the last of which is in the dryer, and should be dry. And the dishes are ready. So I haven't completely stopped, I'm just not moving as fast as I would like. Yeah, I even kicked the dishes through several rinses yesterday. While that doesn't get them dried and put up, it does keep the rinse water clear and clean. Water goes fast around here, for whatever reason. I want the dishes so as to get shower, and maybe out, in the next few days.
Hrm? I hope the power supply isn't coming in the mail. I ought to check that. Our post is only open in the morning, and I am losing mornings, so... Bleh. I'll check. If not, it should be here today. Either way it should be here today, it's just that if it's at the post I am pretty much already too late to go get it. Later.
Thursday, October 22, 2015
A slow start.
.
.
Or, more, a late start. Given that I woke after 10:00, and am just starting on things now... makes sense. Usually does take a bit to get the engine warmed before it can work, three hours isn't unlikely. My heater coil sucks! I set all of the dishes to a fresh soak, rearranging them so that specific ones will be more likely to be ready when I am next ready to work. I like the water very hot, so when I dry things the temp helps with the task.
I realized, with the new machine about to be going together, that I don't have any modern games to play on it. Oh, I have hundreds of old ones. So I went looking. This looked interesting. What? I don't get a playable disc, only a download code. And I have to be online, fulltime, to play? No. Well, what about that one, or this one, or... all the same. If you want to buy a new computer game, you don't get that game. You get to rent it, essentially, online. Wait until they get hacked and everybody ends up having nothing. It's going to happen, if it hasn't. The same goes for music, and movies. If you don't have a physical copy, you don't actually own. Of course, that is the dream of socialism. A way of it. One I don't choose to participate in, nor do I believe. This won't work. Then again, we are on the edge of the end of this time. I suppose this is what is to be expected. Our wants have outpaced the ability to produce. Our producers have gotten so greedy that they won't actually sell product, only "prints", copies, and such. Civilization needs to crumble when it gets to this place. It actually already has. It isn't even that we don't know it. It's more that most don't want to let go of the dream. Holding onto that will stall things just a bit longer, if at a greater price. Like a junky taking one last big hit. Perhaps hoping it kills. Definitely knowing it will hurt more after but not really caring.
.
Or, more, a late start. Given that I woke after 10:00, and am just starting on things now... makes sense. Usually does take a bit to get the engine warmed before it can work, three hours isn't unlikely. My heater coil sucks! I set all of the dishes to a fresh soak, rearranging them so that specific ones will be more likely to be ready when I am next ready to work. I like the water very hot, so when I dry things the temp helps with the task.
I realized, with the new machine about to be going together, that I don't have any modern games to play on it. Oh, I have hundreds of old ones. So I went looking. This looked interesting. What? I don't get a playable disc, only a download code. And I have to be online, fulltime, to play? No. Well, what about that one, or this one, or... all the same. If you want to buy a new computer game, you don't get that game. You get to rent it, essentially, online. Wait until they get hacked and everybody ends up having nothing. It's going to happen, if it hasn't. The same goes for music, and movies. If you don't have a physical copy, you don't actually own. Of course, that is the dream of socialism. A way of it. One I don't choose to participate in, nor do I believe. This won't work. Then again, we are on the edge of the end of this time. I suppose this is what is to be expected. Our wants have outpaced the ability to produce. Our producers have gotten so greedy that they won't actually sell product, only "prints", copies, and such. Civilization needs to crumble when it gets to this place. It actually already has. It isn't even that we don't know it. It's more that most don't want to let go of the dream. Holding onto that will stall things just a bit longer, if at a greater price. Like a junky taking one last big hit. Perhaps hoping it kills. Definitely knowing it will hurt more after but not really caring.
Up, late.
.
.
Oh, I woke early, first. Couldn't pull that train. Back to bed. Then I woke up on time. Still couldn't do much about it, but take notes. Something about "heck no!". So dark, even at 8:00, if I saw it right. Out at 10:00. I hurt just a bit. I really hurt earlier. Sometimes that will keep me in bed, sometimes not. I don't think it added to the problem this morning. It was simply too dark. And I was too tired yet. I may take a few anicin. I'd like to do some work. That might not be possible without shaking these waking pains. Normally I would let this low of a level of pain just go, and work around it. But I am intent on getting work done, so will push, pull, take a few pain killers, and focus.
Dishes and laundry, plus trash. That is the bare minimum today. I would also like to hit the living room as extra. Just clear an area, line up the electrical so as to be able to plug the power supply into a grounded outlet... which I need to check. It's an old house, never can be sure... but need to be darned certain when tinkering with expensive components that are sensitive. The power supply is supposed to be in tomorrow. But I won't be ready by then. However, I should be well enough along that I might be able to at least get the power supply arranged, and set the rest of the kit up around the area so as to start Saturday or Monday.
Dreams. Just little ones. Nothing stayed. Entertaining, like pixies darting around in the air, livening the imagination, bringing a smile to the face as the thought that magic might be real. I remember so little, only being well and truly entertained. On to the day, I suppose. Coffee, a bit of time waking, then... what I can, when I can. Good day.
.
Oh, I woke early, first. Couldn't pull that train. Back to bed. Then I woke up on time. Still couldn't do much about it, but take notes. Something about "heck no!". So dark, even at 8:00, if I saw it right. Out at 10:00. I hurt just a bit. I really hurt earlier. Sometimes that will keep me in bed, sometimes not. I don't think it added to the problem this morning. It was simply too dark. And I was too tired yet. I may take a few anicin. I'd like to do some work. That might not be possible without shaking these waking pains. Normally I would let this low of a level of pain just go, and work around it. But I am intent on getting work done, so will push, pull, take a few pain killers, and focus.
Dishes and laundry, plus trash. That is the bare minimum today. I would also like to hit the living room as extra. Just clear an area, line up the electrical so as to be able to plug the power supply into a grounded outlet... which I need to check. It's an old house, never can be sure... but need to be darned certain when tinkering with expensive components that are sensitive. The power supply is supposed to be in tomorrow. But I won't be ready by then. However, I should be well enough along that I might be able to at least get the power supply arranged, and set the rest of the kit up around the area so as to start Saturday or Monday.
Dreams. Just little ones. Nothing stayed. Entertaining, like pixies darting around in the air, livening the imagination, bringing a smile to the face as the thought that magic might be real. I remember so little, only being well and truly entertained. On to the day, I suppose. Coffee, a bit of time waking, then... what I can, when I can. Good day.
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
No work.
.
.
Pushed a bit much in the last few days. All good though. No real suffering. I even did get a nap in. Needed it. I'll get to work when I can.
I did cancel the order with Amazon, then ordered a power supply through Newegg. I ended up with the same device, and if the rebate their offering actually goes through at a lower price. Sheesh, Amazon... if you make a mere $20 mistake you really need to eat it. That was as creepy of business I have ever had with them. Could have just offered something else, or been there, rather than just running from the deal. Creepy. I hope that is the last time I get that feel from them. The supply should be here Friday. Not holding my breath, though not really too worried. If online fails I have a few local sources. I will just have to pay more.
.
Pushed a bit much in the last few days. All good though. No real suffering. I even did get a nap in. Needed it. I'll get to work when I can.
I did cancel the order with Amazon, then ordered a power supply through Newegg. I ended up with the same device, and if the rebate their offering actually goes through at a lower price. Sheesh, Amazon... if you make a mere $20 mistake you really need to eat it. That was as creepy of business I have ever had with them. Could have just offered something else, or been there, rather than just running from the deal. Creepy. I hope that is the last time I get that feel from them. The supply should be here Friday. Not holding my breath, though not really too worried. If online fails I have a few local sources. I will just have to pay more.
So dark!
.
.
In spite of all, I have been getting up rather early. I have set my alarm these last few days. The work I have been doing has made waking a bit more complicated. I have watched as the sun struggles to stumble forth later and later. I just didn't realize it had gotten so late. It is after 7:00 and the heat machine is just brightening the sky. I wondered if it was overcast, or something, but no, I don't think so. That added to the weight of waking. I may try to take naps to bolster my day schedule and need for sleep with the added work and extra want for sleep due to reduced sunshine.
Today? Well... I still have laundry to finish. Mostly folding I think. And then dishes. I figure I can do that in parts. The dishes are washed, they just need to be heat rinsed so they dry well, then dried and put up. Interspersed with those things, I am hoping to clear the living room specifically for putting the machine together, and just in general beyond that. I will have to order a different power supply. Amazon offered one at an amazing price, probably by mistake. And rather than just say it, they stalled the sale until it is useless to me. It's the first time I have had them cheat me out of a sale like that, but they may be having just as much trouble as Walmart. People don't buy when they don't have money. China didn't pan out because they don't and won't have a middle class. The politics Amazon and Walmart seem to support doesn't create, and certainly doesn't support, a middle class. And neither the rich nor the poor shop at those places. Just a pro tip for businesses. Political support of socialism and cronyism isn't good for most profit programs that run on anything close to the freedom to buy and sell. *wink* Pissed me off though. If you advertise a price, right out there, then either eat it or admit you did wrong, don't hang the deal. Assholes!
I should have shopped while in town. But I was pushing my limits being in town a second day in a row and working on the side. I sure thought about it. My nerves were a little jangled as well, already, from hoping I wouldn't get a ticket. Well, and keeping that whole project secret. I don't keep many secrets these days, at least not about current events. What I know from the past, assuming you would believe, or even the future... a couple of books were written about them, but few understand and fewer believe. Actually, oddly, and often, the ones who understand best believe the least. I wonder if that is why Judaism has gone so far astray too? Anyway... If, and I do say if... no... Thursday or Friday, perhaps, I will get in, if I can.
On to a bit of waking. It's nice to think I won't have to race around, righting the world, and doing fubar stuff. Later.
.
In spite of all, I have been getting up rather early. I have set my alarm these last few days. The work I have been doing has made waking a bit more complicated. I have watched as the sun struggles to stumble forth later and later. I just didn't realize it had gotten so late. It is after 7:00 and the heat machine is just brightening the sky. I wondered if it was overcast, or something, but no, I don't think so. That added to the weight of waking. I may try to take naps to bolster my day schedule and need for sleep with the added work and extra want for sleep due to reduced sunshine.
Today? Well... I still have laundry to finish. Mostly folding I think. And then dishes. I figure I can do that in parts. The dishes are washed, they just need to be heat rinsed so they dry well, then dried and put up. Interspersed with those things, I am hoping to clear the living room specifically for putting the machine together, and just in general beyond that. I will have to order a different power supply. Amazon offered one at an amazing price, probably by mistake. And rather than just say it, they stalled the sale until it is useless to me. It's the first time I have had them cheat me out of a sale like that, but they may be having just as much trouble as Walmart. People don't buy when they don't have money. China didn't pan out because they don't and won't have a middle class. The politics Amazon and Walmart seem to support doesn't create, and certainly doesn't support, a middle class. And neither the rich nor the poor shop at those places. Just a pro tip for businesses. Political support of socialism and cronyism isn't good for most profit programs that run on anything close to the freedom to buy and sell. *wink* Pissed me off though. If you advertise a price, right out there, then either eat it or admit you did wrong, don't hang the deal. Assholes!
I should have shopped while in town. But I was pushing my limits being in town a second day in a row and working on the side. I sure thought about it. My nerves were a little jangled as well, already, from hoping I wouldn't get a ticket. Well, and keeping that whole project secret. I don't keep many secrets these days, at least not about current events. What I know from the past, assuming you would believe, or even the future... a couple of books were written about them, but few understand and fewer believe. Actually, oddly, and often, the ones who understand best believe the least. I wonder if that is why Judaism has gone so far astray too? Anyway... If, and I do say if... no... Thursday or Friday, perhaps, I will get in, if I can.
On to a bit of waking. It's nice to think I won't have to race around, righting the world, and doing fubar stuff. Later.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Not a bad day.
.
.
Beside doing laundry and dishes, to where I have them anyway, the last two days, I was also taking care of a little business. I had to go to town both days. I didn't write about it because there was a risk. Some of my readers will hurt me, if they can. As it turns out, with health issues, medicine troubles, drivers license problems, and all else, I missed getting my tags renewed. I don't know what kind of fine is involved, on top of late fees I am sure if I didn't notice, but I suspect it is a whopper. So, I hid what I was doing.
I went to town yesterday, to attempt to get an emission test, a requirement this year. The shop was too busy. Set me up for today, but didn't put it in. I'm almost surprised they got me in today. I guess since they promised, they went ahead and did it. Then on to the county offices. They had a guy in there. It looks like he was trying to mess me over. The ladies weren't too keen about something. I wasn't sure if it was me or him. After a bit, I suspect it was him. Eventually I got what I needed and got out of there. This is the first year I have had problems there, and the first year he has been there. I hope it is the last. The ladies are great, sociable at least. This guy is the type of bureaucrat you don't want to ever have to deal with. I am not sure he knows it, but I think so.
After that office, over to another. They, actually, were rather smooth. It is usually at the tag office that I run into some sort of trouble or other. Not this time. Did try to charge me as if I didn't have a veterans discount, but that was cleared up quickly. I honestly don't think state workers think much of veterans. It's a monetary thing, and I think for many of them they believe veterans should pay like everyone else. No better, no worse, as they see it. Unfair. Or, that's what I gather. They aren't alone. No worries, I'll be dead before they retire. And when they get none, or very little, of what they have been promised in retirement and Cadillac medical, then we'll... wait... I'll be dead. I guess we won't talk.
Yeah, so I did get that managed, and without getting a ticket. I just realized two days ago, that tags were overdue, and just by accident somehow. I was definitely keeping that a secret though. Ten to one I would have had a ticket otherwise.
Oh, I did try to call my friend the other day. Wasn't sure we were still friends. No answer, or call back, until today. He has been in the hospital, just got out. A stroke. Plus he was very low on blood. I wonder if the two went together. We did talk a bit on the phone. Since I was coming in, I offered to bring that blue cheese and visit. Couldn't be sure when. Sometime in the mid-afternoon. Check.
I was a good boy, too. I brought him blue, and another friend aged cheddar. Both were delivered, as it turned out. I bought a couple of orders of fries. He hadn't wanted to eat, yet I thought a snack would be good. No salt, doctor's orders. Yeah, okay. Choose which salt you are going to eat. Indeed. Still, more fries for me! I talked a bit. He is looking a little green about the gills. I'll have to get him out shooting. It would be nice if our other friend would go. He has his own life, and times, and temperament, and ability and inability to go. None of us is in great shape. Still...
Yes, I did do all of the dishes, and have washed just about all of the laundry, and folded some of it. The dishes got a fresh soak when I returned home. I need to rinse them again tomorrow, dry them, then put them up. Then hit the laundry. Maybe Thursday I can get in for some groceries, and to get my friend to dinner if he is up for it, or bring something over and visit. He is lonely, and a bit cabin feverish. Don't I know that, on my own score. And, some shooting before winter closes the thing. Maybe a run on target shooting.
Yeah... a bit of a story but there ya go. Later.
.
Beside doing laundry and dishes, to where I have them anyway, the last two days, I was also taking care of a little business. I had to go to town both days. I didn't write about it because there was a risk. Some of my readers will hurt me, if they can. As it turns out, with health issues, medicine troubles, drivers license problems, and all else, I missed getting my tags renewed. I don't know what kind of fine is involved, on top of late fees I am sure if I didn't notice, but I suspect it is a whopper. So, I hid what I was doing.
I went to town yesterday, to attempt to get an emission test, a requirement this year. The shop was too busy. Set me up for today, but didn't put it in. I'm almost surprised they got me in today. I guess since they promised, they went ahead and did it. Then on to the county offices. They had a guy in there. It looks like he was trying to mess me over. The ladies weren't too keen about something. I wasn't sure if it was me or him. After a bit, I suspect it was him. Eventually I got what I needed and got out of there. This is the first year I have had problems there, and the first year he has been there. I hope it is the last. The ladies are great, sociable at least. This guy is the type of bureaucrat you don't want to ever have to deal with. I am not sure he knows it, but I think so.
After that office, over to another. They, actually, were rather smooth. It is usually at the tag office that I run into some sort of trouble or other. Not this time. Did try to charge me as if I didn't have a veterans discount, but that was cleared up quickly. I honestly don't think state workers think much of veterans. It's a monetary thing, and I think for many of them they believe veterans should pay like everyone else. No better, no worse, as they see it. Unfair. Or, that's what I gather. They aren't alone. No worries, I'll be dead before they retire. And when they get none, or very little, of what they have been promised in retirement and Cadillac medical, then we'll... wait... I'll be dead. I guess we won't talk.
Yeah, so I did get that managed, and without getting a ticket. I just realized two days ago, that tags were overdue, and just by accident somehow. I was definitely keeping that a secret though. Ten to one I would have had a ticket otherwise.
Oh, I did try to call my friend the other day. Wasn't sure we were still friends. No answer, or call back, until today. He has been in the hospital, just got out. A stroke. Plus he was very low on blood. I wonder if the two went together. We did talk a bit on the phone. Since I was coming in, I offered to bring that blue cheese and visit. Couldn't be sure when. Sometime in the mid-afternoon. Check.
I was a good boy, too. I brought him blue, and another friend aged cheddar. Both were delivered, as it turned out. I bought a couple of orders of fries. He hadn't wanted to eat, yet I thought a snack would be good. No salt, doctor's orders. Yeah, okay. Choose which salt you are going to eat. Indeed. Still, more fries for me! I talked a bit. He is looking a little green about the gills. I'll have to get him out shooting. It would be nice if our other friend would go. He has his own life, and times, and temperament, and ability and inability to go. None of us is in great shape. Still...
Yes, I did do all of the dishes, and have washed just about all of the laundry, and folded some of it. The dishes got a fresh soak when I returned home. I need to rinse them again tomorrow, dry them, then put them up. Then hit the laundry. Maybe Thursday I can get in for some groceries, and to get my friend to dinner if he is up for it, or bring something over and visit. He is lonely, and a bit cabin feverish. Don't I know that, on my own score. And, some shooting before winter closes the thing. Maybe a run on target shooting.
Yeah... a bit of a story but there ya go. Later.
Raggedy man.
.
.
Off in a minor way. Ugly as always. Even so, better. I woke a bit early, after going to bed a bit late. I would have stayed up but electricity was out. What to do when it is yet dark? Reading? Not so much. My mind is not ready for that discipline first thing in the morning, usually. Even if I could get my mind to go that way, I could not keep it there long. Even on good days, an half an hour to an hour of reading, at a time, is about all I can guarantee. Oh, sure, there are authors who can create a near addiction. Where I dig deep and hard and marathon their books. But that is rare. As is, I am reading either the bible or Vox's happy face book. I'm hoping to finish that soon. This book, however, is seen as more a technical manual.
The problem is, his book is written for those who are weak. As he suggested, SJW's generally don't go after dogs of war. They go after the go-along to get-along middlings, moderates, cuckservatives, call them what you will, who think they can duck attention and avoid attacks by waving whatever flag is being held by whatever attacking force is closest and trying to abide their rules, until whatever other force grows closer. That's a losing bet, even for SJW's, who actually have a minority priority, but one that changes from day to day, hour to hour sometimes, and is based on the 2 + 2 = anything but 4, and also changes quickly. I am just getting to the good part, though it may not make much sense to me. Look, to be honest? Set it up so that one of their units attacks, make it all look good in the public eye, many will side with you if given half a chance, and rip the attacker in half, spitting out bones. It really does work, if it takes a bit of talent. Just that you are bending time-space near them, laying out the groundwork for the sacrifice, will usually get them to flee in horror. And, no, I am not talking virtually.
Oh, right, back to today. I did get three loads of laundry through, some of it already folded and put up. I did a few other things. Today, hopefully, I will hit the dishes a first wash, shower, finish the laundry, and do a bit more. Oh, trash has to go. I wasn't worried about getting it out Sunday. I don't have much. But I should take it out on Sundays even if I won't be curbing it. Yeah.
I checked the little freezer. It looks like nothing even began to thaw. Not sure how long electricity was out. I only know that it was out at 6:00 or so. That really does make me nervous. On to... a bit of gaming, and coffee, to wake. Well, after a look at some blogs. Later.
Oh... just so's you know. I am, by the way, for the most part, on Emma's side.
.
Off in a minor way. Ugly as always. Even so, better. I woke a bit early, after going to bed a bit late. I would have stayed up but electricity was out. What to do when it is yet dark? Reading? Not so much. My mind is not ready for that discipline first thing in the morning, usually. Even if I could get my mind to go that way, I could not keep it there long. Even on good days, an half an hour to an hour of reading, at a time, is about all I can guarantee. Oh, sure, there are authors who can create a near addiction. Where I dig deep and hard and marathon their books. But that is rare. As is, I am reading either the bible or Vox's happy face book. I'm hoping to finish that soon. This book, however, is seen as more a technical manual.
The problem is, his book is written for those who are weak. As he suggested, SJW's generally don't go after dogs of war. They go after the go-along to get-along middlings, moderates, cuckservatives, call them what you will, who think they can duck attention and avoid attacks by waving whatever flag is being held by whatever attacking force is closest and trying to abide their rules, until whatever other force grows closer. That's a losing bet, even for SJW's, who actually have a minority priority, but one that changes from day to day, hour to hour sometimes, and is based on the 2 + 2 = anything but 4, and also changes quickly. I am just getting to the good part, though it may not make much sense to me. Look, to be honest? Set it up so that one of their units attacks, make it all look good in the public eye, many will side with you if given half a chance, and rip the attacker in half, spitting out bones. It really does work, if it takes a bit of talent. Just that you are bending time-space near them, laying out the groundwork for the sacrifice, will usually get them to flee in horror. And, no, I am not talking virtually.
Oh, right, back to today. I did get three loads of laundry through, some of it already folded and put up. I did a few other things. Today, hopefully, I will hit the dishes a first wash, shower, finish the laundry, and do a bit more. Oh, trash has to go. I wasn't worried about getting it out Sunday. I don't have much. But I should take it out on Sundays even if I won't be curbing it. Yeah.
I checked the little freezer. It looks like nothing even began to thaw. Not sure how long electricity was out. I only know that it was out at 6:00 or so. That really does make me nervous. On to... a bit of gaming, and coffee, to wake. Well, after a look at some blogs. Later.
Oh... just so's you know. I am, by the way, for the most part, on Emma's side.
Monday, October 19, 2015
I am not the only one.
.
.
Some of them know, as I do, that I get really close. Some of them might even know some things I don't. I don't know what day, what year, where, or how. Has it already come and I am there? No. I wondered that for a long time. No longer. This last time, I was almost sure. I wasn't alone. I... see it in their eyes, hear it in their voice. They thought I was to die. What is it they know, or suspect, that I don't? Did they simply suspect? Odd if so, they are beginning to be able to know. They seem satisfied that I yet live, if perplexed. Like as if Ol' Yeller made it through the sickness. They know I am not... usual. I have known... for most of my existence. Many don't even believe in all that. Some are beginning to see. Few like that, even if... they are open to it. Then again, who has to like much.
.
Some of them know, as I do, that I get really close. Some of them might even know some things I don't. I don't know what day, what year, where, or how. Has it already come and I am there? No. I wondered that for a long time. No longer. This last time, I was almost sure. I wasn't alone. I... see it in their eyes, hear it in their voice. They thought I was to die. What is it they know, or suspect, that I don't? Did they simply suspect? Odd if so, they are beginning to be able to know. They seem satisfied that I yet live, if perplexed. Like as if Ol' Yeller made it through the sickness. They know I am not... usual. I have known... for most of my existence. Many don't even believe in all that. Some are beginning to see. Few like that, even if... they are open to it. Then again, who has to like much.
Human.
.
.
Alive anyway. Yesterday was the best day I have had in a while. Did some small bits of work, too. Ate twice, and well. More laundry will go through today. More on the dishes, at least a rough wash and set to an extra soapy soak. Plus two or three other tasks. One of them is even a bit bigger. Then, if there is time today... if not then tomorrow... I'll hit the living room. Clearing a space to focus on the computer is the next goal.
Nothing hurts, nothing is swollen, nothing is out of sync or place of mind or body. Just a bit of soreness, remnants of a body that has been very badly out of shape for a few days. Nothing I haven't handled, and easily, more times and in more ways than any human probably can. If it isn't the innards giving out, or in, or bruising my body getting back up, or tearing into my next project, then something runs me over. It's my lot. And I suffer it gladly. Better than not being one's own, I suppose. A servant of God, true, then to a child. Now I am expected to follow along in wisdom as I can, not be told every step. Of course, with responsibilities come freedoms. Odd that a sometimes crippled up gimp has more freedom than the healthiest folk at times innit? *wink*
Hmm... coffee, a bit of gaming, and carrots and peanut butter. But first, changing out the laundry, one load to the dryer if I forgot last night, a new one in to the washer. Later.
.
Alive anyway. Yesterday was the best day I have had in a while. Did some small bits of work, too. Ate twice, and well. More laundry will go through today. More on the dishes, at least a rough wash and set to an extra soapy soak. Plus two or three other tasks. One of them is even a bit bigger. Then, if there is time today... if not then tomorrow... I'll hit the living room. Clearing a space to focus on the computer is the next goal.
Nothing hurts, nothing is swollen, nothing is out of sync or place of mind or body. Just a bit of soreness, remnants of a body that has been very badly out of shape for a few days. Nothing I haven't handled, and easily, more times and in more ways than any human probably can. If it isn't the innards giving out, or in, or bruising my body getting back up, or tearing into my next project, then something runs me over. It's my lot. And I suffer it gladly. Better than not being one's own, I suppose. A servant of God, true, then to a child. Now I am expected to follow along in wisdom as I can, not be told every step. Of course, with responsibilities come freedoms. Odd that a sometimes crippled up gimp has more freedom than the healthiest folk at times innit? *wink*
Hmm... coffee, a bit of gaming, and carrots and peanut butter. But first, changing out the laundry, one load to the dryer if I forgot last night, a new one in to the washer. Later.
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Turning north.
.
.
Not that life is hugely better. Just that, since the brutal waking, life had improved. Anacin helped, I am sure of that. But it wouldn't be helping by this time. Coffee and medicine were good to me. A bit of gaming, when the game doesn't snag and I have to restart, or let the machine rest a bit. I do like the Fallout series, but man are they buggy. No patch or work around, often. Saving and getting out will usually fix the problem, unless it simply crashes and you lose whatever you had done in the last bit. Saving often seems, somehow, to keep the crashes to a minimum. It almost seems like the programmers meant to punish those who don't save often. Still... it's something to do while I can't do much else.
I did reset the dishes to soak, and seriously looked at the laundry. I really need to hit the laundry, and dishes. I might, today. Maybe. I would also like to do a few other jobs. Not too much. I am not ready for a major hit. I may be ready to do a bit here and a bit there, between resting. Maybe. I want to rampage through the cave, ripping everything that isn't nailed down, and then bring in a high pressure sprayer! But that just wouldn't work well. I have to... hrm... I have to hit it in an organized and thoughtful manner. I have many things in a queue, even if that system has come to a stop. It is still there, just covered by complication, ill health, and layers of cover. It's still there. I will get to it.
Just a bit, today, would be good. Good for morale as well as the practicality of opening up room for other things to go forward. If I was going to ask for prayers, it would be now, on this. A day or two, if you can remember. Just pray that I can keep it together and move forward a bit. Not just today, but this week. I remind, prayers for another are also good for the source. Nothing bad can come from a little face time with God.
Well... a bit of gaming, then, maybe, on to either the laundry, back to the dishes, or maybe a bit of each. Later.
.
Not that life is hugely better. Just that, since the brutal waking, life had improved. Anacin helped, I am sure of that. But it wouldn't be helping by this time. Coffee and medicine were good to me. A bit of gaming, when the game doesn't snag and I have to restart, or let the machine rest a bit. I do like the Fallout series, but man are they buggy. No patch or work around, often. Saving and getting out will usually fix the problem, unless it simply crashes and you lose whatever you had done in the last bit. Saving often seems, somehow, to keep the crashes to a minimum. It almost seems like the programmers meant to punish those who don't save often. Still... it's something to do while I can't do much else.
I did reset the dishes to soak, and seriously looked at the laundry. I really need to hit the laundry, and dishes. I might, today. Maybe. I would also like to do a few other jobs. Not too much. I am not ready for a major hit. I may be ready to do a bit here and a bit there, between resting. Maybe. I want to rampage through the cave, ripping everything that isn't nailed down, and then bring in a high pressure sprayer! But that just wouldn't work well. I have to... hrm... I have to hit it in an organized and thoughtful manner. I have many things in a queue, even if that system has come to a stop. It is still there, just covered by complication, ill health, and layers of cover. It's still there. I will get to it.
Just a bit, today, would be good. Good for morale as well as the practicality of opening up room for other things to go forward. If I was going to ask for prayers, it would be now, on this. A day or two, if you can remember. Just pray that I can keep it together and move forward a bit. Not just today, but this week. I remind, prayers for another are also good for the source. Nothing bad can come from a little face time with God.
Well... a bit of gaming, then, maybe, on to either the laundry, back to the dishes, or maybe a bit of each. Later.
Dead or dying.
.
.
Brutal. Not near the worst I have unconsciously faced, probably nearing, in some ways, what I have ever faced while wide awake. It isn't so much the pain, that is still mitigated. It is the confinement to suffering in general. It is almost claustrophobic inside this sense of things, with no conscious way out. I do my best with medicine. And, really, all that is given, I do fairly well. Every morning, almost every insulin, and at least half of my night pills. I am not sure if I slipped yesterday or not? Actually, I think I missed last evening (of pills, got the insulin). In my current condition, missing one day of the water pill and I puff for a day or three. So, yes, must have gotten that yesterday.
Why so rough I can't say. I actually bought the computer components to keep me grounded, if you must know, and by the way. With that, and the rest, on hand, there was always a chance I might flee. I decided to take some time, the computer sort of clipped my wings. Plus, it gave me something to do. The power supply has been put on backorder. If it isn't sent when they say next, I'll have to find another before my warranty on the rest falls off. But it is giving me a little extra time to get a spot cleared for working on it. Time I need.
For whatever reason, this morning, I feel like I did a swan dive off the third floor right into concrete. Head and neck, pained and out of sorts. As soon as the coffee is done I will have a slice of that with anacin on the side. Docs told me to use tylenol, but it doesn't work. It doesn't even seem to work against joint swelling when I have pushed something. I'm starting to not believe very much of what doctors say, simply from experience. Either I am way different, or everyone is while researches try to pin us all together... don't know for sure, just don't trust at all. As with mom's cooking... if I can stomach it, and it works, I'll do it. If two bites tell me no, then no it is.
A shower, right off this morning. I cleaned my hair brushes while I was at it. They need it from time to time. Just brush your soapy hair, and then for me since I sometimes condition and today was the day for that, I ran them through my conditioned hair, then rinsed them out well. Of course, after having removed as much hair from the bristles before anything else. I needed, and wanted, a shower. I hoped to do it yesterday but didn't get around to it.
Strange dreams of late. Telling me to look, to see, maybe even to do. I just can't seem to focus or remember or... Later.
Oh, just a bit of mood music.
.
Brutal. Not near the worst I have unconsciously faced, probably nearing, in some ways, what I have ever faced while wide awake. It isn't so much the pain, that is still mitigated. It is the confinement to suffering in general. It is almost claustrophobic inside this sense of things, with no conscious way out. I do my best with medicine. And, really, all that is given, I do fairly well. Every morning, almost every insulin, and at least half of my night pills. I am not sure if I slipped yesterday or not? Actually, I think I missed last evening (of pills, got the insulin). In my current condition, missing one day of the water pill and I puff for a day or three. So, yes, must have gotten that yesterday.
Why so rough I can't say. I actually bought the computer components to keep me grounded, if you must know, and by the way. With that, and the rest, on hand, there was always a chance I might flee. I decided to take some time, the computer sort of clipped my wings. Plus, it gave me something to do. The power supply has been put on backorder. If it isn't sent when they say next, I'll have to find another before my warranty on the rest falls off. But it is giving me a little extra time to get a spot cleared for working on it. Time I need.
For whatever reason, this morning, I feel like I did a swan dive off the third floor right into concrete. Head and neck, pained and out of sorts. As soon as the coffee is done I will have a slice of that with anacin on the side. Docs told me to use tylenol, but it doesn't work. It doesn't even seem to work against joint swelling when I have pushed something. I'm starting to not believe very much of what doctors say, simply from experience. Either I am way different, or everyone is while researches try to pin us all together... don't know for sure, just don't trust at all. As with mom's cooking... if I can stomach it, and it works, I'll do it. If two bites tell me no, then no it is.
A shower, right off this morning. I cleaned my hair brushes while I was at it. They need it from time to time. Just brush your soapy hair, and then for me since I sometimes condition and today was the day for that, I ran them through my conditioned hair, then rinsed them out well. Of course, after having removed as much hair from the bristles before anything else. I needed, and wanted, a shower. I hoped to do it yesterday but didn't get around to it.
Strange dreams of late. Telling me to look, to see, maybe even to do. I just can't seem to focus or remember or... Later.
Oh, just a bit of mood music.
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