.
.
The problem isn't energy, mostly. I am using hot water at a terrible pace. Two loads of laundry, three or four batches of pure hot water for washing and rinsing. I am certain I will get another load of laundry and a shower in. Ugh but that is a lot of hot water. I'll get to dishes again shortly, after messing with dry laundry... and perhaps flipping one last load through... letting that finish before the next set of dishes... or... the other way? Achk! I'll figure it out as I go.
Oh, an idea to get away from so much tea? Sure, there is milk, dairy and water kefir, plus tea. But that usually sees me drinking gallons of tea. The rest just can't be consumed in large volumes. There are problems, like finding enough good fresh veggies at a reasonable price. Even getting to town often enough is... Still, even from time to time, this would do. I have enough half gallon jars so I don't need to buy anything, aside from fruits and veggies. Frozen fruit? Not if it only says packaged in the US. Trickery is annoying.
Then again... I just threw myself at folding laundry. *sigh* Yes, I got about half of what is out. But with three loads on the way, dishes, and a bath? I'm about half way through dishes. And I have beans to put up. Which means making room in the reefer. On top of else, I am quickly running out of steam. I'll keep at it as long as I can. All into the dryer at least, all sinks open and two jars ready, all clothes off the bed pad so the bed can be made. It's just an extra clean layer, thankfully no incontinence issues to date.
Still a lot of work, and I need a break. Later.
Thursday, April 5, 2018
So dark.
.
.
It is so very dark. Day, even extra dark at night. With sleep so off it is difficult to know which is which far beyond usual periods. It could be worse. My mother is expecting eight inches of snow, some parts of the coast are expecting double that, or more. Told them. Oh, and cold... while cool here, wet and perhaps cold, if this is cold they are getting frozen.
It is the darkness which is trampling me. It is wonderful sleep. The massages and pedicures are finally nearly completely on the good side. Mostly. Still, I am falling so far behind. I may begin checking into help. Perhaps a local ad. A little help would more like triple, or quadruple, my output. It just does, if I can get a good worker who does big chunks.
I'll try to get some work yet tonight. I completed the bathroom today, and a few other things. I need to do dishes, probably three double loads, plus bedding and laundry. I'd better get to it or I'll end up crashing.
A couple of prep or efficiency items in. The first is 24 pound packs of pool shock. It allows the production of chlorine. Between half a teaspoon and a heaping tablespoon will produce a gallon of potent chlorine, of which only drops are needed to clean a gallon of water. Yeah, a really good thing to have on hand. The other items are wall mounted, pull out, drying racks. I can never tell if chinese numbers, measurements, are right. Well, they were, this time. Three feet wide, by two and an half feet deep, with ten bars at width? It'll hold far more than I would have believed. One would have been enough. Still, at the price, a spare is fine. However I want better mounting hardware... probably a 2 x 6 so as to double beam attachments. It says it'll hold #60, with included hardware. With what I have in mind, I'd bet #100 to #120. It's how I do. Lucifer and his can only corrupt. Those in God's camp always seek to improve... even overbuild. Amen.
Later.
.
It is so very dark. Day, even extra dark at night. With sleep so off it is difficult to know which is which far beyond usual periods. It could be worse. My mother is expecting eight inches of snow, some parts of the coast are expecting double that, or more. Told them. Oh, and cold... while cool here, wet and perhaps cold, if this is cold they are getting frozen.
It is the darkness which is trampling me. It is wonderful sleep. The massages and pedicures are finally nearly completely on the good side. Mostly. Still, I am falling so far behind. I may begin checking into help. Perhaps a local ad. A little help would more like triple, or quadruple, my output. It just does, if I can get a good worker who does big chunks.
I'll try to get some work yet tonight. I completed the bathroom today, and a few other things. I need to do dishes, probably three double loads, plus bedding and laundry. I'd better get to it or I'll end up crashing.
A couple of prep or efficiency items in. The first is 24 pound packs of pool shock. It allows the production of chlorine. Between half a teaspoon and a heaping tablespoon will produce a gallon of potent chlorine, of which only drops are needed to clean a gallon of water. Yeah, a really good thing to have on hand. The other items are wall mounted, pull out, drying racks. I can never tell if chinese numbers, measurements, are right. Well, they were, this time. Three feet wide, by two and an half feet deep, with ten bars at width? It'll hold far more than I would have believed. One would have been enough. Still, at the price, a spare is fine. However I want better mounting hardware... probably a 2 x 6 so as to double beam attachments. It says it'll hold #60, with included hardware. With what I have in mind, I'd bet #100 to #120. It's how I do. Lucifer and his can only corrupt. Those in God's camp always seek to improve... even overbuild. Amen.
Later.
Tuesday, April 3, 2018
All the phone calls.
.
.
Oh, one more bill, utilities. I'll get a stash of checks ready to go, put them in an envelope, to be deposited the next time I am out. Which will be soon. Oh, and a check for milk, ready for next delivery day. That will be it for hard bills. The rest is groceries. I pull cash out for body care ahead of time, first of the month, so it doesn't sneak up on me. Oh, well, medicine and doctor costs. With the Zero appointee out of the V.A., perhaps in six months to a year I may see about going back in. At least for some of my meds.
I'll keep my local doc for several reasons, including potassium. The V.A. can't be trusted to not try to blackmail me onto medication, using my driver license as hostage. I think I understand why the V.A. potassium isn't the best. That is only offered on a monthly basis. Too fragile, too prone to absorbing moisture. I'll have to figure this out with my local doc. I want the gooder stuff. The other stuff doesn't get used, from my local doc, which I can get in three month issue, trust me. The powder upsets my stomach and tastes worse than the titanium pill's vanilla. I do understand. Not sure why people can't just say what the problem is.
As to the shave and shower, coming up. It actually takes a bit out of me to do phone business. Especially when it is obvious some of them don't want to work with people on the phone. As well, the billing is off. We live in a digital and insane world. Contacting a real human, who speaks English, who has the brains, will, and power to fix what should be obvious problems, is nearly impossible. Tomorrow, beside else, I will be trying to get one of those problems solved. Anyway, I need a break before showering. Hmm, could remove the bedding before I rest. Guarantees some work.
Later.
.
Oh, one more bill, utilities. I'll get a stash of checks ready to go, put them in an envelope, to be deposited the next time I am out. Which will be soon. Oh, and a check for milk, ready for next delivery day. That will be it for hard bills. The rest is groceries. I pull cash out for body care ahead of time, first of the month, so it doesn't sneak up on me. Oh, well, medicine and doctor costs. With the Zero appointee out of the V.A., perhaps in six months to a year I may see about going back in. At least for some of my meds.
I'll keep my local doc for several reasons, including potassium. The V.A. can't be trusted to not try to blackmail me onto medication, using my driver license as hostage. I think I understand why the V.A. potassium isn't the best. That is only offered on a monthly basis. Too fragile, too prone to absorbing moisture. I'll have to figure this out with my local doc. I want the gooder stuff. The other stuff doesn't get used, from my local doc, which I can get in three month issue, trust me. The powder upsets my stomach and tastes worse than the titanium pill's vanilla. I do understand. Not sure why people can't just say what the problem is.
As to the shave and shower, coming up. It actually takes a bit out of me to do phone business. Especially when it is obvious some of them don't want to work with people on the phone. As well, the billing is off. We live in a digital and insane world. Contacting a real human, who speaks English, who has the brains, will, and power to fix what should be obvious problems, is nearly impossible. Tomorrow, beside else, I will be trying to get one of those problems solved. Anyway, I need a break before showering. Hmm, could remove the bedding before I rest. Guarantees some work.
Later.
Up and hoping to get at it.
.
.
No real idea when I woke. An hour, two, less, ago? I realized I haven't been drinking much, on top of not eating. Not sure it matters given how much I have been sleeping. Still, going from several gallons a day to a few quarts, if still emptying out as if I was still drinking a great amount. Must have had excess, if it wasn't showing with swelling anywhere, or wet lungs. Strange.
Today? A few phone calls, a couple of bills, a shower and shave, dishes, bedding, and laundry? Maybe. It is the goal. Hmm, and putting beans on for chili. I'm going to push for it. I'll down the tea, then see about a shower and shave.
Still dark. I've turned the heat up a bit, though may cut it back. Wish me luck, send a quick prayer, or such, if you will. Later.
.
No real idea when I woke. An hour, two, less, ago? I realized I haven't been drinking much, on top of not eating. Not sure it matters given how much I have been sleeping. Still, going from several gallons a day to a few quarts, if still emptying out as if I was still drinking a great amount. Must have had excess, if it wasn't showing with swelling anywhere, or wet lungs. Strange.
Today? A few phone calls, a couple of bills, a shower and shave, dishes, bedding, and laundry? Maybe. It is the goal. Hmm, and putting beans on for chili. I'm going to push for it. I'll down the tea, then see about a shower and shave.
Still dark. I've turned the heat up a bit, though may cut it back. Wish me luck, send a quick prayer, or such, if you will. Later.
Awake again.
.
.
It's been a bit. Awake doesn't mean all that much either. Eventually dinner, if a very humble one. Steamed cabbage, salt, and butter. Should have added pepper, now that I have a good grinder which provides very fine particles. I grew away from pepper, as my old grinder no longer worked, and all the pepper tins seem stale. One thing at a time, then a hope and pray it works event. This took four events. Several variations on preground and then a new grinder. Still working on finding better pepper, if roasting small batches might improve most pepper. Then of course, white pepper.
Anyway, I'll keep at things. If I can do little, I'll try for more. If I can do nothing, I'll try to be awake longer. Etceteras. I have a few intentions tomorrow. Setting up an appointment, ordering medication, and work. The problem is mostly the weather. Dark, cold, wet. While actually among my favorite weather, I'm just not spry enough to consume it.
Up just a bit longer. Put up the remaining cabbage, it's rather sweet, oddly. Then to check on a few dailies, finally to bed. No pain, simply tired beyond effort. Later. Or good night, actually.
.
It's been a bit. Awake doesn't mean all that much either. Eventually dinner, if a very humble one. Steamed cabbage, salt, and butter. Should have added pepper, now that I have a good grinder which provides very fine particles. I grew away from pepper, as my old grinder no longer worked, and all the pepper tins seem stale. One thing at a time, then a hope and pray it works event. This took four events. Several variations on preground and then a new grinder. Still working on finding better pepper, if roasting small batches might improve most pepper. Then of course, white pepper.
Anyway, I'll keep at things. If I can do little, I'll try for more. If I can do nothing, I'll try to be awake longer. Etceteras. I have a few intentions tomorrow. Setting up an appointment, ordering medication, and work. The problem is mostly the weather. Dark, cold, wet. While actually among my favorite weather, I'm just not spry enough to consume it.
Up just a bit longer. Put up the remaining cabbage, it's rather sweet, oddly. Then to check on a few dailies, finally to bed. No pain, simply tired beyond effort. Later. Or good night, actually.
Monday, April 2, 2018
Feeling quite good.
.
.
I have no idea how many sleep cycles I have gone through, if at least three. As well, I have no idea how long I slept or how long I was awake, per or total. I am positive I was asleep a whole lot longer than I was awake. No problem, this was expected. Actually, I usually go through pain for this first heavy sleeping cycle.
As implied, there is no pain. I roll often enough in my sleep, cats be damned! Well, that doesn't mean they get rolled on, only that I will happily move them in order to roll. Ever, as a parent or sibling, slept with a small one? Initially you are extremely cautious, to prevent harm and to prevent waking? Cats can be similar. Well, you eventually learn what you can do without creating fuss.
No pain, in part from rolling, in part from getting used to massages. I'm in the "floating on a cloud" stage. I really think this is the end stages of repair. The body has flushed what was released during the massage, but is still producing natural painkillers. With most pain gone, the deadening goes to another form of relaxation. Just a suspicion, if why I don't take anacin even should I hit pain at this point.
Can't say I am awake for long. It's a chilly dark day on top of all. I did grill some chops, baked a potato, and steamed carrots for a bit of a feast yesterday. I ended so stuffed, just two smaller chops mind you, I had to wait a bit before sleeping again. I think I'll try for the leftovers, with another potato, minus carrots... all out. That should put me down.
I did get a bath, then a shower and shave in. No where to go, but a good day to do right. I suppose there were places to go, I just couldn't have made it. I was doing good to be partly awake some of the time. I think water helped. May try it again today, if just a shower, possibly a finish to shaving, just one pass yesterday. After dinner, unless... might make it before? No. Just thoughts on a wonderfully rainy spring day. Wouldn't want to be east of here. It's ugly here, to the east will be snow if I had to bet your teeth.
Is it over? How willful are His people? Had to laugh the other day. Someone suggested that fearing the Satan was right. Because Satan is patient. No he is not. If you want to understand patience, study God. If there is a fear due for this attribute, it is not for Satan. It, probably, ain't over.
Hmm? If there is no hell there is no need for the church. None. If all people have access to heaven without Christ, then He wouldn't have sacrificed Himself. We know that was not His wish. It was the Father's will. For most nephilim, children of Cain, and mixes... at least the ones who can't hear and abide? For, essentially, those who can neither be innocent nor guilty? Maybe. For most, no amount of disbelief can spare. Christ said he came for most, not all. For many of those the liar grew up with, and associates, cooperates with? Maybe. Not for him. Street cred doesn't work for those with souls. Yes, some go to church every chance they get, but take nothing from it into the world. Some simply can't. The ones who won't are in the greatest peril.
Later.
.
I have no idea how many sleep cycles I have gone through, if at least three. As well, I have no idea how long I slept or how long I was awake, per or total. I am positive I was asleep a whole lot longer than I was awake. No problem, this was expected. Actually, I usually go through pain for this first heavy sleeping cycle.
As implied, there is no pain. I roll often enough in my sleep, cats be damned! Well, that doesn't mean they get rolled on, only that I will happily move them in order to roll. Ever, as a parent or sibling, slept with a small one? Initially you are extremely cautious, to prevent harm and to prevent waking? Cats can be similar. Well, you eventually learn what you can do without creating fuss.
No pain, in part from rolling, in part from getting used to massages. I'm in the "floating on a cloud" stage. I really think this is the end stages of repair. The body has flushed what was released during the massage, but is still producing natural painkillers. With most pain gone, the deadening goes to another form of relaxation. Just a suspicion, if why I don't take anacin even should I hit pain at this point.
Can't say I am awake for long. It's a chilly dark day on top of all. I did grill some chops, baked a potato, and steamed carrots for a bit of a feast yesterday. I ended so stuffed, just two smaller chops mind you, I had to wait a bit before sleeping again. I think I'll try for the leftovers, with another potato, minus carrots... all out. That should put me down.
I did get a bath, then a shower and shave in. No where to go, but a good day to do right. I suppose there were places to go, I just couldn't have made it. I was doing good to be partly awake some of the time. I think water helped. May try it again today, if just a shower, possibly a finish to shaving, just one pass yesterday. After dinner, unless... might make it before? No. Just thoughts on a wonderfully rainy spring day. Wouldn't want to be east of here. It's ugly here, to the east will be snow if I had to bet your teeth.
Is it over? How willful are His people? Had to laugh the other day. Someone suggested that fearing the Satan was right. Because Satan is patient. No he is not. If you want to understand patience, study God. If there is a fear due for this attribute, it is not for Satan. It, probably, ain't over.
Hmm? If there is no hell there is no need for the church. None. If all people have access to heaven without Christ, then He wouldn't have sacrificed Himself. We know that was not His wish. It was the Father's will. For most nephilim, children of Cain, and mixes... at least the ones who can't hear and abide? For, essentially, those who can neither be innocent nor guilty? Maybe. For most, no amount of disbelief can spare. Christ said he came for most, not all. For many of those the liar grew up with, and associates, cooperates with? Maybe. Not for him. Street cred doesn't work for those with souls. Yes, some go to church every chance they get, but take nothing from it into the world. Some simply can't. The ones who won't are in the greatest peril.
Later.
Sunday, April 1, 2018
Several sleep sessions.
.
.
I woke several times. After brief considerations, it was understood that more sleep was need, wanted, and available. I slept well. I may return to sleep, again, shortly, if I cannot get to work. There is no reason to drain the batteries if the engine can't be put into gear. I am hoping to start with a bath. Then absolutely open into the kitchen. Aye, Sunday, and Easter Sunday. Grains (or dishes) so as to eat yet, raising the dead (including Himself), I yet follow after my Lord. Don't think I bluff or jest.
Several dreams. All good. Only one can be recalled. A young woman, razzing. I gave it back, and better. Of course that was going to end up with a woman in my arms. I dumped the program just shy of that, without burning the bridge, to give me time to think about it. Yeah, I already knew. I guess I just wanted a bit more freedom. If I was looking forward to feasting after such a long famine.
Ah, I tried one of the kefir waters bottled a bit back, refrigerated yesterday. Excellent. At least as fizzy as fountain soda, tasty, but without sugar or caffeine. A good actually healthy option. I think the trick is adding more dried fruit... cherries in this batch. Cranraisins, raisins, pineapple, mango, just about any dry, frozen, or fresh fruit should work. It is still experimental. At least I now know, from first hand personal experience, that it is possible.
May you have a Blessed Easter. Later.
.
I woke several times. After brief considerations, it was understood that more sleep was need, wanted, and available. I slept well. I may return to sleep, again, shortly, if I cannot get to work. There is no reason to drain the batteries if the engine can't be put into gear. I am hoping to start with a bath. Then absolutely open into the kitchen. Aye, Sunday, and Easter Sunday. Grains (or dishes) so as to eat yet, raising the dead (including Himself), I yet follow after my Lord. Don't think I bluff or jest.
Several dreams. All good. Only one can be recalled. A young woman, razzing. I gave it back, and better. Of course that was going to end up with a woman in my arms. I dumped the program just shy of that, without burning the bridge, to give me time to think about it. Yeah, I already knew. I guess I just wanted a bit more freedom. If I was looking forward to feasting after such a long famine.
Ah, I tried one of the kefir waters bottled a bit back, refrigerated yesterday. Excellent. At least as fizzy as fountain soda, tasty, but without sugar or caffeine. A good actually healthy option. I think the trick is adding more dried fruit... cherries in this batch. Cranraisins, raisins, pineapple, mango, just about any dry, frozen, or fresh fruit should work. It is still experimental. At least I now know, from first hand personal experience, that it is possible.
May you have a Blessed Easter. Later.
Saturday, March 31, 2018
No lift off and sinking fast.
.
.
I did put suet seed out in a cage. As well a setting seed for birds in the drive. Just treats from time to time. Redoing a nest house, perhaps building others, setting up a few feeders, and maybe setting hummingbird feeders out. Just... something to do. I used to have mourning doves. They seem to have moved on. I am hoping to welcome them back, among others.
I simply never got going. A bit of blogging, a movie. Tired. Too tired. I have sought a means around the trafficjam. Nothing has worked. I am thinking about a nap. Timing is of, though waking was too. Just a few hours down, more if needed. May not be a choice. Sleep until I can take a shower, then go from there. Later.
.
I did put suet seed out in a cage. As well a setting seed for birds in the drive. Just treats from time to time. Redoing a nest house, perhaps building others, setting up a few feeders, and maybe setting hummingbird feeders out. Just... something to do. I used to have mourning doves. They seem to have moved on. I am hoping to welcome them back, among others.
I simply never got going. A bit of blogging, a movie. Tired. Too tired. I have sought a means around the trafficjam. Nothing has worked. I am thinking about a nap. Timing is of, though waking was too. Just a few hours down, more if needed. May not be a choice. Sleep until I can take a shower, then go from there. Later.
Friday, March 30, 2018
Still a bit dark.
.
.
Even so, I do believe I am better. It is still rough, including some sort of sore throat, which I have had for a week. A dry patch, not the flu or cold. I may be snoring for some odd reason. I have had that do it before. How do I know? Waking to an angry woman. Thank God for sex or I never would have escaped the dog house. While the snoring thing was rare, along with everything else, it all added up. Doh! Usually only lasted a day, or two. So this is odd.
I went looking for something, anything other than vinegar, to possibly soothe the throat last night. It might be from drinking to much (especially plain, more, iced) tea. I found an old, unopened jug of tang. Labeled as good until '13. Only one way to find out. Kept in the basement at pretty much a steady 64 to 68 F? About in there. Anyway, as far as I can tell, it isn't fatal, or even bad. It even softened the dry patch. Enough so this morning I cut cider vinegar with half water, and snapped that back. I'll eat before doing that sort of thing again. The throat can handle it, an empty stomach not so much. Straight vinegar next time, once battened with food. Back to tang and liquid splenda tea.
Feeling better. Looks to be partly cloudy with some chance of clearing. Either way it is about a perfect spring day. Women become even more interesting this time of year. Not as if they ever drift off radar, the difference, while marginal, is noticeable. Did I just write that? ;p
Still a bit tired, stretched, ill. And yet, overall, through and through, better. A back to work day. First sourdough, then a bath, then to dishes, oh bedding change and laundry. That would be a good start. I will see after that. Best set up the dishes first, so I'm not fighting laundry for hot water. I'll see what else I might be able to be about if I get these things done. Uhrm, after I finish waking. Good morning and day. *tips hat*
.
Even so, I do believe I am better. It is still rough, including some sort of sore throat, which I have had for a week. A dry patch, not the flu or cold. I may be snoring for some odd reason. I have had that do it before. How do I know? Waking to an angry woman. Thank God for sex or I never would have escaped the dog house. While the snoring thing was rare, along with everything else, it all added up. Doh! Usually only lasted a day, or two. So this is odd.
I went looking for something, anything other than vinegar, to possibly soothe the throat last night. It might be from drinking to much (especially plain, more, iced) tea. I found an old, unopened jug of tang. Labeled as good until '13. Only one way to find out. Kept in the basement at pretty much a steady 64 to 68 F? About in there. Anyway, as far as I can tell, it isn't fatal, or even bad. It even softened the dry patch. Enough so this morning I cut cider vinegar with half water, and snapped that back. I'll eat before doing that sort of thing again. The throat can handle it, an empty stomach not so much. Straight vinegar next time, once battened with food. Back to tang and liquid splenda tea.
Feeling better. Looks to be partly cloudy with some chance of clearing. Either way it is about a perfect spring day. Women become even more interesting this time of year. Not as if they ever drift off radar, the difference, while marginal, is noticeable. Did I just write that? ;p
Still a bit tired, stretched, ill. And yet, overall, through and through, better. A back to work day. First sourdough, then a bath, then to dishes, oh bedding change and laundry. That would be a good start. I will see after that. Best set up the dishes first, so I'm not fighting laundry for hot water. I'll see what else I might be able to be about if I get these things done. Uhrm, after I finish waking. Good morning and day. *tips hat*
Thursday, March 29, 2018
Nothing.
.
.
Well, a few things. The sourdough was fed, the other two are on weekly feedings now. The water kefir was reset, two quart jars which fill three 16 ounce snap top soda bottles. Three were filled yesterday, three today. One of the quarts was put in the fridge, as a reserve/backup. The other will be experimental, as will the bottles. Oh, and a meal, the last of the chili mac. Not much, was not hungry, ate... because.
Oh, I called my mother. Just a last check. I meant to call earlier, then again that might have messed with her lunch. She works at a civil charity... fuel assistance. She knows I am not a socialist, or worse. Then again I come down hard on nations which let tens of thousands of their elderly freeze, especially while jacking up fuel prices on top of it for the beta, cuck, and leftist lie of global warming. That is genocide. The one problem I have with anyone, bureaucrat or recipient, who receives or gives, is a lack of gratitude or belief gifts are owed. Be thankful, not envious or demanding.
Anyway... a few very small things. Lungs are heavy, a bit warm even while a bit cold, and dragging with life so slow. I think it is the weather, if there is more to it. I'll... get over it. Later.
.
Well, a few things. The sourdough was fed, the other two are on weekly feedings now. The water kefir was reset, two quart jars which fill three 16 ounce snap top soda bottles. Three were filled yesterday, three today. One of the quarts was put in the fridge, as a reserve/backup. The other will be experimental, as will the bottles. Oh, and a meal, the last of the chili mac. Not much, was not hungry, ate... because.
Oh, I called my mother. Just a last check. I meant to call earlier, then again that might have messed with her lunch. She works at a civil charity... fuel assistance. She knows I am not a socialist, or worse. Then again I come down hard on nations which let tens of thousands of their elderly freeze, especially while jacking up fuel prices on top of it for the beta, cuck, and leftist lie of global warming. That is genocide. The one problem I have with anyone, bureaucrat or recipient, who receives or gives, is a lack of gratitude or belief gifts are owed. Be thankful, not envious or demanding.
Anyway... a few very small things. Lungs are heavy, a bit warm even while a bit cold, and dragging with life so slow. I think it is the weather, if there is more to it. I'll... get over it. Later.
One of my favorite numbers, good news, and good dreams.
.
.
Well, and a minor mystery.
While unusually large, it is registering that I had 777 visitors last night. Most aren't into numerology, save having knowledge of 666. While not the "opposite", it is oppositional to it, institutional versus individual. (There is no opposite to God, for there is no such thing as perfect evil. Perfection is God, anything else is imperfect. Simply being away from God is evil.) So, 777 visitors, to me, is a good thing. Not saying it is an omen, or that I would deserve such, either. It is what it is.
Ah, then my mother called earlier this morning, left a message. She had good cause not to call yesterday. The shot trumped her. ;) She crashed from it. But all is good today, back to work. She wants me to call, once I twist my noggin on right. Having a woman to bite my lip, help screw my head on right, might help. Well, that's always iffy, if worth a shot with the right one. I'll get close enough, solo, eventually.
Dreams. At least two. Both entertained, right to laughter, several times each. But more. Casting miracles, if still having to work, hope, and pray, right literally in the dreams. I tried to remember them. Could not. As soon as I realized I had dreamed, and enjoyed so well, when I went back to see in order to remember, the memories were gone. Rather unusual. Perhaps they were meant just for me.
As to the mystery? I woke, got up, started the machine, then started this post at 7:00. It is now saying it is 9:30. If this happened from time to time, I'd suspect a memory issue. I do have memory issues, but It's all or nothing. Weird. I know I didn't just zone for two hours and change... the ps4 would have turned off, then maybe bitched about being turned off incorrectly. The tv also has a timer off. I know those were turned on right out the door, at... 7:03. Very strange.
Well, I'll feed the room temp sourdough, set a "cup" of tea, read and hear my way to wakefulness, then check on mom. I did get the chili burger bulgar cheese mac up. Not hungry, at least not yet. Later.
.
Well, and a minor mystery.
While unusually large, it is registering that I had 777 visitors last night. Most aren't into numerology, save having knowledge of 666. While not the "opposite", it is oppositional to it, institutional versus individual. (There is no opposite to God, for there is no such thing as perfect evil. Perfection is God, anything else is imperfect. Simply being away from God is evil.) So, 777 visitors, to me, is a good thing. Not saying it is an omen, or that I would deserve such, either. It is what it is.
Ah, then my mother called earlier this morning, left a message. She had good cause not to call yesterday. The shot trumped her. ;) She crashed from it. But all is good today, back to work. She wants me to call, once I twist my noggin on right. Having a woman to bite my lip, help screw my head on right, might help. Well, that's always iffy, if worth a shot with the right one. I'll get close enough, solo, eventually.
Dreams. At least two. Both entertained, right to laughter, several times each. But more. Casting miracles, if still having to work, hope, and pray, right literally in the dreams. I tried to remember them. Could not. As soon as I realized I had dreamed, and enjoyed so well, when I went back to see in order to remember, the memories were gone. Rather unusual. Perhaps they were meant just for me.
As to the mystery? I woke, got up, started the machine, then started this post at 7:00. It is now saying it is 9:30. If this happened from time to time, I'd suspect a memory issue. I do have memory issues, but It's all or nothing. Weird. I know I didn't just zone for two hours and change... the ps4 would have turned off, then maybe bitched about being turned off incorrectly. The tv also has a timer off. I know those were turned on right out the door, at... 7:03. Very strange.
Well, I'll feed the room temp sourdough, set a "cup" of tea, read and hear my way to wakefulness, then check on mom. I did get the chili burger bulgar cheese mac up. Not hungry, at least not yet. Later.
Wednesday, March 28, 2018
A difficult day.
.
.
Too hot this time. Impossibly. If I took something off I would freeze. Sometimes it just doesn't make sense. I did some, just not all hoped, by far. Still as rough as being in my skin was I am surprised anything was done.
In the morning I fed the sourdoughs. A load or two of dishes were done, included the final glass jars from sourdoughs. Wools were washed, and have been put up. Air dry is the best way. Then chili mac, using older burger mash. I'd best remember to put that up. Then I reset kefir water. Bottling the product, setting the grains to fresh sugar. Then I checked the sourdoughs. All were looking alive, bubbling, and well. So the two in quarts went to the fridge after all were given a right stir. Finally, a last load of dishes was set to soak and a pot of tea was set to go. Loverly. If rather weak. I simply couldn't keep up and at it. So hot, and cold.
Still, I did keep at it as able. Reality is what it is. I will sleep well. What energy, focus, and will I had I used. Good night.
.
Too hot this time. Impossibly. If I took something off I would freeze. Sometimes it just doesn't make sense. I did some, just not all hoped, by far. Still as rough as being in my skin was I am surprised anything was done.
In the morning I fed the sourdoughs. A load or two of dishes were done, included the final glass jars from sourdoughs. Wools were washed, and have been put up. Air dry is the best way. Then chili mac, using older burger mash. I'd best remember to put that up. Then I reset kefir water. Bottling the product, setting the grains to fresh sugar. Then I checked the sourdoughs. All were looking alive, bubbling, and well. So the two in quarts went to the fridge after all were given a right stir. Finally, a last load of dishes was set to soak and a pot of tea was set to go. Loverly. If rather weak. I simply couldn't keep up and at it. So hot, and cold.
Still, I did keep at it as able. Reality is what it is. I will sleep well. What energy, focus, and will I had I used. Good night.
Amazon's real problems?
.
.
I can never be certain about Trump, other than to be sure what he says isn't what he means, for good or ill. A "no" is an offer, a threat is often a bluff, and who he works for can be ascertained by noting who is getting richer. It is business. The goal is to put someone in charge who is more likely to let markets lead the band. None will ever do that purely. Some do it better. Although, to be an America-firster, there are limits. For the most part, given the restriction, he is doing well.
As to Amazon? Perhaps Trump really does consider mom & pop shops a good. As a billionaire, he doesn't have to worry about prices, taxes, or any of that. Personally, I think millionaires on up should be forced, a month out of every year, to live on their own (no servants or family) on a moderate typical entry level income, after taxes. Buy food, figure out how to prepare it, and understand how large sales taxes really are to real people. Well, and how nasty mom & pop joints get with pretty much outright theft in smaller areas.
Further, half the reason I go Amazon IS TO STARVE THE BEAST GOVERNMENT. I hope every man and business finds a way to get out of paying this grotesque bureaucratic thieving machine at every level. What doesn't Trump get. True, he is a dem (little d, due mostly to being pro-American). Only elected to build the wall. Too busy helping his friends get rich (If hopefully through market weighting rather than the fed's thumb on the scales) to pay attention to the punks in congress. Unless that was always just an empty promise... We'll see if he uses .mil funding for actual defense.
The problem with Amazon is their extreme pro-China stance and their extremist leftism. Companies which go that way should be unlicensed and harassed by the government which the companies attack, the very one that has allowed success. As with human traitors, corporate traitors need to be shoved out. Maybe worse. Business.
But, no. The right action for the wrong reasons? A pox on both their houses.
.
I can never be certain about Trump, other than to be sure what he says isn't what he means, for good or ill. A "no" is an offer, a threat is often a bluff, and who he works for can be ascertained by noting who is getting richer. It is business. The goal is to put someone in charge who is more likely to let markets lead the band. None will ever do that purely. Some do it better. Although, to be an America-firster, there are limits. For the most part, given the restriction, he is doing well.
As to Amazon? Perhaps Trump really does consider mom & pop shops a good. As a billionaire, he doesn't have to worry about prices, taxes, or any of that. Personally, I think millionaires on up should be forced, a month out of every year, to live on their own (no servants or family) on a moderate typical entry level income, after taxes. Buy food, figure out how to prepare it, and understand how large sales taxes really are to real people. Well, and how nasty mom & pop joints get with pretty much outright theft in smaller areas.
Further, half the reason I go Amazon IS TO STARVE THE BEAST GOVERNMENT. I hope every man and business finds a way to get out of paying this grotesque bureaucratic thieving machine at every level. What doesn't Trump get. True, he is a dem (little d, due mostly to being pro-American). Only elected to build the wall. Too busy helping his friends get rich (If hopefully through market weighting rather than the fed's thumb on the scales) to pay attention to the punks in congress. Unless that was always just an empty promise... We'll see if he uses .mil funding for actual defense.
The problem with Amazon is their extreme pro-China stance and their extremist leftism. Companies which go that way should be unlicensed and harassed by the government which the companies attack, the very one that has allowed success. As with human traitors, corporate traitors need to be shoved out. Maybe worse. Business.
But, no. The right action for the wrong reasons? A pox on both their houses.
Just about right, for being wrong.
.
.
Sleep schedule, that is. I can't be exactly sure when I actually finally went on to bed, if I am sure sleep was nearly immediate. There are three times stuck in my memory for the event, 22:45, 23:15, and 23:45 (give or take about three minutes on any, if memory is just as blurry in terms of this so sticking with the middling number). Which was the real time though? If I had to bet, I'd put seven chips on the first, three on the middle, and only one on the last. I woke at 7:30, so right at eight hours. Good. Only a bit extra tired for staying up so late.
Work? Not as much as hoped. There was simply more work than thought, and the work was more intense. What ended being the showstopper was sourdough jars. I moved two sourdoughs to quart jars, for refrigerator duty. I kept one in the larger jars, but changed it to a new one. Those jars had near barnacles, where beastly to clean. I washed them three times last night, finally leaving them to soak. I hit them again, right when I woke. I think they are pristine again, if I set them to a fresh soapy soak. While at it, I set the regular dishes to a fresh soak, then stirred the sourdoughs. I think I'll need to feed them a bit more often, to see if they survived the abuse. If so, into the fridge, if not... I think two of them will make it. Maybe all three, if extra feed for the next few days is required.
Back to work after I wake. Dishes, might put wool socks in while I wake, then a good long epsom soak bath, taking my tool in, to scrape under hooves. Then more work of whatever type or form manageable. It is another dark day, so far. Chops and burger are thawed. Chili burger cheese mac later, and a few chops. Might cook all the chops while at it, just for heating as needed. I also have eggs, if questionable. I'll boil a dozen, see if they work out.
Back to waking up. Yeah, through the magic of blogging, the drying rack has been set up and the wools are washing. And tea is on. It's the little things. Later.
.
Sleep schedule, that is. I can't be exactly sure when I actually finally went on to bed, if I am sure sleep was nearly immediate. There are three times stuck in my memory for the event, 22:45, 23:15, and 23:45 (give or take about three minutes on any, if memory is just as blurry in terms of this so sticking with the middling number). Which was the real time though? If I had to bet, I'd put seven chips on the first, three on the middle, and only one on the last. I woke at 7:30, so right at eight hours. Good. Only a bit extra tired for staying up so late.
Work? Not as much as hoped. There was simply more work than thought, and the work was more intense. What ended being the showstopper was sourdough jars. I moved two sourdoughs to quart jars, for refrigerator duty. I kept one in the larger jars, but changed it to a new one. Those jars had near barnacles, where beastly to clean. I washed them three times last night, finally leaving them to soak. I hit them again, right when I woke. I think they are pristine again, if I set them to a fresh soapy soak. While at it, I set the regular dishes to a fresh soak, then stirred the sourdoughs. I think I'll need to feed them a bit more often, to see if they survived the abuse. If so, into the fridge, if not... I think two of them will make it. Maybe all three, if extra feed for the next few days is required.
Back to work after I wake. Dishes, might put wool socks in while I wake, then a good long epsom soak bath, taking my tool in, to scrape under hooves. Then more work of whatever type or form manageable. It is another dark day, so far. Chops and burger are thawed. Chili burger cheese mac later, and a few chops. Might cook all the chops while at it, just for heating as needed. I also have eggs, if questionable. I'll boil a dozen, see if they work out.
Back to waking up. Yeah, through the magic of blogging, the drying rack has been set up and the wools are washing. And tea is on. It's the little things. Later.
Tuesday, March 27, 2018
Slow. Steady.
.
.
Given the givens I am doing my level best. Dishes, and more of them. One of three jobs, as it turns out. I'll skip the laundry. Hanging every sock is more than I want to do. Well, and pulling out the hanging contraption, which would need floor space opened, somehow. I think I will burn through a chore and an half, get a shower in, rest a bit, then crash. Each chore has it's own set of dishes. I'm working on reducing the volume of dishes though.
Tired, odd bodily complaints, but doing well enough. I may end up staying up rather late because of the slow pace. But I should sleep well for it. Another shower, or bath, in the morning. Then back at it. The next massage is coming up. This time the pedicure will be on a different day. I am curious if that will make much of a difference, as to exhaustion. Earlier in the afternoon too. It might make a difference.
I did call my mother. They have her set up for her first shot tomorrow. One of my cousins and his picked up meds for her, so she fixed a proper dinner. Is she as good as some of the fancy tv chefs? I'd actually say yes. She knows how to do with what is on hand, but if you throw money at her, she'll try to save you some money. If you refuse to save a dime, she'll show you how to make those extra nickles shine. She knows the difficult, easy, expensive, and cheap way, plus a half dozen alternatives, time alternatives for faster or slower cooking so as to adjust for schedules.
Do most women even actually know how to cook anymore. I cook a man's way. Great if I had a prep and sous chef, plus a dietician to plate for size and calories. Anyway, someone ate well. And I think someone was happy for the call. I won't cook or eat more. Half the oatmeal and remnants from yesterday, plus eating several days in a row has me a bit stuffed. Can you save extra oatmeal to be reheated? How best to reheat?
Good night, if I have a few things to do first. Sleep well, I know I will when I get to it.
.
Given the givens I am doing my level best. Dishes, and more of them. One of three jobs, as it turns out. I'll skip the laundry. Hanging every sock is more than I want to do. Well, and pulling out the hanging contraption, which would need floor space opened, somehow. I think I will burn through a chore and an half, get a shower in, rest a bit, then crash. Each chore has it's own set of dishes. I'm working on reducing the volume of dishes though.
Tired, odd bodily complaints, but doing well enough. I may end up staying up rather late because of the slow pace. But I should sleep well for it. Another shower, or bath, in the morning. Then back at it. The next massage is coming up. This time the pedicure will be on a different day. I am curious if that will make much of a difference, as to exhaustion. Earlier in the afternoon too. It might make a difference.
I did call my mother. They have her set up for her first shot tomorrow. One of my cousins and his picked up meds for her, so she fixed a proper dinner. Is she as good as some of the fancy tv chefs? I'd actually say yes. She knows how to do with what is on hand, but if you throw money at her, she'll try to save you some money. If you refuse to save a dime, she'll show you how to make those extra nickles shine. She knows the difficult, easy, expensive, and cheap way, plus a half dozen alternatives, time alternatives for faster or slower cooking so as to adjust for schedules.
Do most women even actually know how to cook anymore. I cook a man's way. Great if I had a prep and sous chef, plus a dietician to plate for size and calories. Anyway, someone ate well. And I think someone was happy for the call. I won't cook or eat more. Half the oatmeal and remnants from yesterday, plus eating several days in a row has me a bit stuffed. Can you save extra oatmeal to be reheated? How best to reheat?
Good night, if I have a few things to do first. Sleep well, I know I will when I get to it.
Awake. Considering work.
.
.
I am not in good shape. My midsection is sore as if I did a bunch of setups. I promise, no such activity, or anything like it, has taken place. Aside from the twinges, the muscles are more solid. Setups, or having sparred with a superior boxer, working on defending that area. If so, I lost, if not as badly as if in a full speed fight. Painful tickles rather than deep serious bruising.
I dreamed, but it was a good dream. Fanciful too. I don't remember more than those. Something like obtaining a '57 Chevy, the fastest sort. Enjoying tearing up the highway. Then to find it can fly. I only remember waking with a smile. Knowing I had a lot of fun in at least one dream.
I went ahead with one of my jobs, before sleeping. The dishes from that were set to soak. I am hoping to get that and two more jobs, plus another shower. No promises but I think I can. A load of wools too. I'm taking frequent showers and enjoying. Keeping much more up on my feet. Which is part of the reason. Odd that the feet still feel dry, as if they would grab socks, but they don't. It is strange. Doesn't matter if I use lotion or not. They feel the same. Though if I slather them occasionally they really are even smoother regarding socks. Very strange that, by hand, I can't tell much difference. They feel very dry and raspy. Thought perhaps it was my hands, but that doesn't make sense? Odd.
I'm still waking from the nap. We'll see. Later.
.
I am not in good shape. My midsection is sore as if I did a bunch of setups. I promise, no such activity, or anything like it, has taken place. Aside from the twinges, the muscles are more solid. Setups, or having sparred with a superior boxer, working on defending that area. If so, I lost, if not as badly as if in a full speed fight. Painful tickles rather than deep serious bruising.
I dreamed, but it was a good dream. Fanciful too. I don't remember more than those. Something like obtaining a '57 Chevy, the fastest sort. Enjoying tearing up the highway. Then to find it can fly. I only remember waking with a smile. Knowing I had a lot of fun in at least one dream.
I went ahead with one of my jobs, before sleeping. The dishes from that were set to soak. I am hoping to get that and two more jobs, plus another shower. No promises but I think I can. A load of wools too. I'm taking frequent showers and enjoying. Keeping much more up on my feet. Which is part of the reason. Odd that the feet still feel dry, as if they would grab socks, but they don't. It is strange. Doesn't matter if I use lotion or not. They feel the same. Though if I slather them occasionally they really are even smoother regarding socks. Very strange that, by hand, I can't tell much difference. They feel very dry and raspy. Thought perhaps it was my hands, but that doesn't make sense? Odd.
I'm still waking from the nap. We'll see. Later.
Hmm, strange?
.
.
I was sure I was about to crash. Never did warm. Still chilled to the bones. It was the sun. When it crested it blazed. Bright even through my curtains. I am still rather tired. I may make oatmeal, and clean up from that, then nap? I think so. I still hope to do several batches of work today. The sun will help. Figuring how to warm would help too. Too cold.
After the nap? Dailies, dishes that happen from those, folding dried clothes, washing wools if there are enough, maybe a shower, another shot at the oven with the new methods, surfaces, and checking things in the fridge and bagging trash from that.
The next time I go shopping I'll be getting enough eggs for more souffle practice, and to boil several dozen for snacks, and for potato salad. It's that time of year, at least to begin practicing. What all though? Onion, potato, mayo, I like dill pickles diced in plus a splash of juice... as well as paprika - smoked if feeling bold, lemon juice or vinegar - apple cider if feeling bold again but NOT with smoked paprika... boldness has limits and these don't mix to good ends. Hmm, what else? Vidalias? I actually prefer yellow. But for a change? Depends if available and cost.
Yes. Plans. Hopes. And possibly tales of glory soon or late. You know, if potato salad, then also fried chicken? I think so. Just a pack of thighs or drumsticks. I remember when my mom would pull meat from the leftovers, and either mix that with the potato salad (if there was any remaining *gobble gobble*) or just make a meat spread from it. It seemed like a lot of work. It was more having the plan, a meat grinder (I think she just used a manual), and taking the time. Still, a lot of work and yet not? Frugal. I don't have a meat grinder, yet. Hmm...
On to oatmeal and a nap. Later.
.
I was sure I was about to crash. Never did warm. Still chilled to the bones. It was the sun. When it crested it blazed. Bright even through my curtains. I am still rather tired. I may make oatmeal, and clean up from that, then nap? I think so. I still hope to do several batches of work today. The sun will help. Figuring how to warm would help too. Too cold.
After the nap? Dailies, dishes that happen from those, folding dried clothes, washing wools if there are enough, maybe a shower, another shot at the oven with the new methods, surfaces, and checking things in the fridge and bagging trash from that.
The next time I go shopping I'll be getting enough eggs for more souffle practice, and to boil several dozen for snacks, and for potato salad. It's that time of year, at least to begin practicing. What all though? Onion, potato, mayo, I like dill pickles diced in plus a splash of juice... as well as paprika - smoked if feeling bold, lemon juice or vinegar - apple cider if feeling bold again but NOT with smoked paprika... boldness has limits and these don't mix to good ends. Hmm, what else? Vidalias? I actually prefer yellow. But for a change? Depends if available and cost.
Yes. Plans. Hopes. And possibly tales of glory soon or late. You know, if potato salad, then also fried chicken? I think so. Just a pack of thighs or drumsticks. I remember when my mom would pull meat from the leftovers, and either mix that with the potato salad (if there was any remaining *gobble gobble*) or just make a meat spread from it. It seemed like a lot of work. It was more having the plan, a meat grinder (I think she just used a manual), and taking the time. Still, a lot of work and yet not? Frugal. I don't have a meat grinder, yet. Hmm...
On to oatmeal and a nap. Later.
What?
.
.
Awake but very tired. Just ghosting through the morning, chilled to the bones even with thick socks, pj's, a thick robe, and the furnace jacked. Oddly, my toes aren't cold. Down right at 22:00, up at 5:00. A bit shy on sleep, assuming I have made it up. I may be crashing back to bed shortly, for a bit. Unusually tired. Eyes just won't stay open.
I did remember to call my mother. Pleased she was. Mom's may be women, and women are girls, and girls are twerps, but if you spoil them, they can be satisfied. ;p Well spoil, and put demands in. Make me a pie, __redacted__, or can some extra hot hot sauce. Anyway. She was happy. Her doctor reported all is well. Just nerve issues. Either a third back surgery or shots. Shots, she thinks. All good. Or, at least nothing extra bad, unexpected.
With the sinks clear, when I do wake, I'll hit some things. For now, however, back to sleep. Later or much later.
.
Awake but very tired. Just ghosting through the morning, chilled to the bones even with thick socks, pj's, a thick robe, and the furnace jacked. Oddly, my toes aren't cold. Down right at 22:00, up at 5:00. A bit shy on sleep, assuming I have made it up. I may be crashing back to bed shortly, for a bit. Unusually tired. Eyes just won't stay open.
I did remember to call my mother. Pleased she was. Mom's may be women, and women are girls, and girls are twerps, but if you spoil them, they can be satisfied. ;p Well spoil, and put demands in. Make me a pie, __redacted__, or can some extra hot hot sauce. Anyway. She was happy. Her doctor reported all is well. Just nerve issues. Either a third back surgery or shots. Shots, she thinks. All good. Or, at least nothing extra bad, unexpected.
With the sinks clear, when I do wake, I'll hit some things. For now, however, back to sleep. Later or much later.
Monday, March 26, 2018
Pizza was the prize.
.
.
Nothing but the dishes. They were finished, the small tubs and sinks themselves were also cleaned. I hope to hit more tomorrow. So tired. While in, I stopped at a quick stop type place for soda. Several girls in the place. Being an adult male, and larger one, I avoid too much interaction if I do enjoy children from afar. Just as an older sibling or uncle type of thing. Still, best to not approach or interact.
Even so... while I was checking out, a little girl kept trying to catch my eye. After a few avoidances, I finally looked. She just smiled like the shining sun. I had to return the favor. It didn't hurt a bit. And the good thing about such a tot is it is completely innocent. Still, I ducked out quickly. I kept a grin on for a goodly bit. Life can be good just that simply.
My mother didn't call. I let that go, but will call her soon. She was supposed to call me. I was pretty sure she wouldn't, if I don't know why. I already planned to checking up on her as soon as I can, but tomorrow. Something about letting her miss before calling. Bedtime. Late actually, at almost 22:00. Ugh. Good night.
.
Nothing but the dishes. They were finished, the small tubs and sinks themselves were also cleaned. I hope to hit more tomorrow. So tired. While in, I stopped at a quick stop type place for soda. Several girls in the place. Being an adult male, and larger one, I avoid too much interaction if I do enjoy children from afar. Just as an older sibling or uncle type of thing. Still, best to not approach or interact.
Even so... while I was checking out, a little girl kept trying to catch my eye. After a few avoidances, I finally looked. She just smiled like the shining sun. I had to return the favor. It didn't hurt a bit. And the good thing about such a tot is it is completely innocent. Still, I ducked out quickly. I kept a grin on for a goodly bit. Life can be good just that simply.
My mother didn't call. I let that go, but will call her soon. She was supposed to call me. I was pretty sure she wouldn't, if I don't know why. I already planned to checking up on her as soon as I can, but tomorrow. Something about letting her miss before calling. Bedtime. Late actually, at almost 22:00. Ugh. Good night.
Starting.
.
.
One load put up, from the drying rack. A couple small loads washed, dried, and put up. Two loads set up to a hot soak. With one sink now open for rinsing and the dish rack open, the process should be much faster. As little as that was, it did weary me. If I finish tonight, early enough, I will go for pizza. The oatmeal will be for tomorrow, as well as burger cheese mac.
There is some hope of doing a few other things tonight. Just catching up on odds and ends. Maybe washing woolens and putting up the dry load. No promises. I only get a freebie meal if I do the rest of the dishes. The other works are just heavy hopes. All is seriously possible though, if probably not all of it will be done. However, if things are opened, and kept open, tomorrow holds much more promise, especially if food is on the hook and chained through today back on to regularity. Three meals, really, four if today, since either two Fridays or Thursdays ago, I believe?
Pretty weak. Makes sense. I'll work on it. Later.
.
One load put up, from the drying rack. A couple small loads washed, dried, and put up. Two loads set up to a hot soak. With one sink now open for rinsing and the dish rack open, the process should be much faster. As little as that was, it did weary me. If I finish tonight, early enough, I will go for pizza. The oatmeal will be for tomorrow, as well as burger cheese mac.
There is some hope of doing a few other things tonight. Just catching up on odds and ends. Maybe washing woolens and putting up the dry load. No promises. I only get a freebie meal if I do the rest of the dishes. The other works are just heavy hopes. All is seriously possible though, if probably not all of it will be done. However, if things are opened, and kept open, tomorrow holds much more promise, especially if food is on the hook and chained through today back on to regularity. Three meals, really, four if today, since either two Fridays or Thursdays ago, I believe?
Pretty weak. Makes sense. I'll work on it. Later.
Naps are wonderful things.
.
.
Right at two hours down. Awake midway. I could easily have waken then. I did and do believe the extra hour was in the best interest of my intentions... getting to the dishes, food, and perhaps other work. I reset the dishes after the two hours, am having a big glass of milk kefir (which, amazingly, is slaking thirst as well as pickle juice, beer, or a few of my specialties), and am pretty sure I'll get to it plus thaw meats and begin soaking beans for tomorrow.
As mentioned, food if I do well. I suppose, if dishes are done, I could cook. I might cook something easy. But the reward is eating what I need not clean after. We'll see. Maybe a bit of both.
The snow, down here in the valley, mostly, is gone. I was surprised it lasted as long as it did, if it makes for quite a sight. Gone, if possible to be replaced tonight or soon given the temperament of the weather yet this year. No complaints given the relatively mild winter... compared to usual but especially compared to national and global.
Britain and Boston (much of the East Coast) is buying Russian fuels! At a dear premium. If someone is working with the Russians, it's libtard pols, and against there own. Nobility has always done crap like that, getting rich from it as well. Gore may become the first global warming alarmist billionaire... in a time of catastrophic cooling. If he doesn't get hung for the lies, deceit, theft, and wrong policy, no one will.
Well, on to waking, then dishes, food, and else. Later.
.
Right at two hours down. Awake midway. I could easily have waken then. I did and do believe the extra hour was in the best interest of my intentions... getting to the dishes, food, and perhaps other work. I reset the dishes after the two hours, am having a big glass of milk kefir (which, amazingly, is slaking thirst as well as pickle juice, beer, or a few of my specialties), and am pretty sure I'll get to it plus thaw meats and begin soaking beans for tomorrow.
As mentioned, food if I do well. I suppose, if dishes are done, I could cook. I might cook something easy. But the reward is eating what I need not clean after. We'll see. Maybe a bit of both.
The snow, down here in the valley, mostly, is gone. I was surprised it lasted as long as it did, if it makes for quite a sight. Gone, if possible to be replaced tonight or soon given the temperament of the weather yet this year. No complaints given the relatively mild winter... compared to usual but especially compared to national and global.
Britain and Boston (much of the East Coast) is buying Russian fuels! At a dear premium. If someone is working with the Russians, it's libtard pols, and against there own. Nobility has always done crap like that, getting rich from it as well. Gore may become the first global warming alarmist billionaire... in a time of catastrophic cooling. If he doesn't get hung for the lies, deceit, theft, and wrong policy, no one will.
Well, on to waking, then dishes, food, and else. Later.
Definitely more snow.
.
.
Just a powdering, if surviving the sun so far. Sam wanted out until she didn't. If she gets pushy about it I let her take a closer look. Sassy will never go out during the day, or during bad weather. Sam won't waste my time, mostly. If she finds scent she will spend a little extra time, and I'll usually offer it. Sassy would spend all day at the door. So I only give her a few minutes. Or pretend to push her out. : )
Tired. Nap? Maybe. Awake for five and an half. The goal is sixteen up. So, as for splitting the day, it isn't a bad time. A nap, a couple loads of dishes, then a pizza or other food run? Maybe. I'll definitely reward with a food run if I clear the dishes. Three meals since last Sunday. Yeah. I need food. Home cooked is best. Impossible with dishes blocking the way.
Oh, something recently suggested. Adding baking soda to the water for oven cleaning, as well as on spots, as a sort of mud pack. As well, when cooled, spraying with vinegar if a bit more is needed. Not sure I'm a believer but I'll give it a few chances. I want it clean. I don't mind using heavier chemicals, I just don't have them on hand. If these fail, back to the old way. And I'll look closer before buying my next oven. Ashes are the easiest to deal with. Dump this lefty stupid inspired crap. Avoid all low energy-ecco "solutions". They do it to themselves.
Received an email from a FB'er. Had to laugh. No, I won't visit your page. Thought about writing an email, explaining. Then I realized this is probably some sort of trap, data catchment, or such. No, just no. For lowq's and predators, even the ones who present as house pets. I just removed the email. Can't even trust to respond. Yeah, it's that bad.
Yeah, a nap. Good morning and day.
.
Just a powdering, if surviving the sun so far. Sam wanted out until she didn't. If she gets pushy about it I let her take a closer look. Sassy will never go out during the day, or during bad weather. Sam won't waste my time, mostly. If she finds scent she will spend a little extra time, and I'll usually offer it. Sassy would spend all day at the door. So I only give her a few minutes. Or pretend to push her out. : )
Tired. Nap? Maybe. Awake for five and an half. The goal is sixteen up. So, as for splitting the day, it isn't a bad time. A nap, a couple loads of dishes, then a pizza or other food run? Maybe. I'll definitely reward with a food run if I clear the dishes. Three meals since last Sunday. Yeah. I need food. Home cooked is best. Impossible with dishes blocking the way.
Oh, something recently suggested. Adding baking soda to the water for oven cleaning, as well as on spots, as a sort of mud pack. As well, when cooled, spraying with vinegar if a bit more is needed. Not sure I'm a believer but I'll give it a few chances. I want it clean. I don't mind using heavier chemicals, I just don't have them on hand. If these fail, back to the old way. And I'll look closer before buying my next oven. Ashes are the easiest to deal with. Dump this lefty stupid inspired crap. Avoid all low energy-ecco "solutions". They do it to themselves.
Received an email from a FB'er. Had to laugh. No, I won't visit your page. Thought about writing an email, explaining. Then I realized this is probably some sort of trap, data catchment, or such. No, just no. For lowq's and predators, even the ones who present as house pets. I just removed the email. Can't even trust to respond. Yeah, it's that bad.
Yeah, a nap. Good morning and day.
Why no post yesterday, later?
.
.
I kept hoping work would go forward. I planned to digitally pen something after I did some work. I did shower, dried clothes which will get a tumble and hopefully be put up this morning, made a food run, changed dishes water twice, and stayed up to 18:00 to call my mom. One last check. She seemed well, better. Then I went to sleep hard but well, waking at about 5:00.
I am sure I am dreaming. There is a lot of pressure, tense scenarios, perhaps horror, but of the types I enjoy and handle easily. Dealing with the dead, the damned, and darkness, to me, is like being paid $20 an hour for fobs to flip burgers... mindlessly relaxing and somewhat entertaining. I am good at it, at the very least in my dreams. So long as there are solutions, even seemingly impossible ones, I can make it happen, without breaking the dream.
I hit my feet hard yesterday. I had forgotten the pumice bar kept in the shower. It was useless with as thick as my skin used to be. Now it has some use. Between it and the dry aftershower rasp, plus occasional lotion, plus spray and powder... I am hoping to get them better, then be able to relax on care to some degree. Wearing socks most of the time; some sort of shoe always, even these house shoes; definitely those but what else? Monthly pedicures once they are in shape; occasional lotion; occasional spray and powder. It seems a bit much for long term care. Too much fluid in and out makes skin, especially where blood flow is weakest, high maintenance. Perhaps too high to really maintain? It will probably always be a problem area.
Oh, snow, off and on with rain yesterday. On through the night? It isn't staying around, not here. If it continues on east, it seems, they are getting accumulation. March, in and out like a lion? Better luck next month? April fools! I remember that in Iowa before, or thought so. Early elementary, or so it seems. I wonder what unvarnished weather history exists. My guess is when they weren't fudging the numbers back then they have changed them since, from temps to precipitation, when, type, and amount. They are hiding the real weather data.
Gotta prove the lie to support China, India, and destroy the West. Socialism on the global scale. Although, only to enhance superelites, take all employees down to equal, near slave, wages. That is what you are supporting when you march for global warming and gun control. Yes, destroy our economy and take the only right that ensures the rest! Yes!
I'll set the dishes back up on my way to check laundry. Hope for better today. Later.
.
I kept hoping work would go forward. I planned to digitally pen something after I did some work. I did shower, dried clothes which will get a tumble and hopefully be put up this morning, made a food run, changed dishes water twice, and stayed up to 18:00 to call my mom. One last check. She seemed well, better. Then I went to sleep hard but well, waking at about 5:00.
I am sure I am dreaming. There is a lot of pressure, tense scenarios, perhaps horror, but of the types I enjoy and handle easily. Dealing with the dead, the damned, and darkness, to me, is like being paid $20 an hour for fobs to flip burgers... mindlessly relaxing and somewhat entertaining. I am good at it, at the very least in my dreams. So long as there are solutions, even seemingly impossible ones, I can make it happen, without breaking the dream.
I hit my feet hard yesterday. I had forgotten the pumice bar kept in the shower. It was useless with as thick as my skin used to be. Now it has some use. Between it and the dry aftershower rasp, plus occasional lotion, plus spray and powder... I am hoping to get them better, then be able to relax on care to some degree. Wearing socks most of the time; some sort of shoe always, even these house shoes; definitely those but what else? Monthly pedicures once they are in shape; occasional lotion; occasional spray and powder. It seems a bit much for long term care. Too much fluid in and out makes skin, especially where blood flow is weakest, high maintenance. Perhaps too high to really maintain? It will probably always be a problem area.
Oh, snow, off and on with rain yesterday. On through the night? It isn't staying around, not here. If it continues on east, it seems, they are getting accumulation. March, in and out like a lion? Better luck next month? April fools! I remember that in Iowa before, or thought so. Early elementary, or so it seems. I wonder what unvarnished weather history exists. My guess is when they weren't fudging the numbers back then they have changed them since, from temps to precipitation, when, type, and amount. They are hiding the real weather data.
Gotta prove the lie to support China, India, and destroy the West. Socialism on the global scale. Although, only to enhance superelites, take all employees down to equal, near slave, wages. That is what you are supporting when you march for global warming and gun control. Yes, destroy our economy and take the only right that ensures the rest! Yes!
I'll set the dishes back up on my way to check laundry. Hope for better today. Later.
Sunday, March 25, 2018
Another opportunity.
.
.
Nothing more done yesterday. Too tired. I did stay awake until 18:00, then called. She sounded much better. I think she was pleased someone cared enough to check more than else. It, sometimes, really is the little things. I crashed as soon after that as my mind could sort to do. Odd how, when extremely tired, my mind and body have to gear or maneuver to sleep. I can't usually just crash, unless I am already falling, if that sort of fall isn't exactly truly sleep, more of a bodily failure. I woke at around 4:00. Fought it for an hour, uselessly. Ten hours seems steep, but I pushed six hours past when I would have gone to bed. Not bad, given the givens.
Cold again today. Maybe that is just me. A shower in an hour, two, less? Soon. Then back to work if possible. No grand plans. I think those get me in trouble sometimes, if that gets me going other times. Just not this time? Right. I was thinking about taking the trash out. Then I realized that all I have for trash is two pizza boxes. Yeah. One job I don't need concern myself regarding.
I'd sure like to do something today. The wrench in the works is dishes. So, that is the plan. Other than a shower and shave, nothing else is planned. Although, if anything else goes forward, I won't naysay it. Focus is on just those. All good.
I am noticing that the massages seem to be... correcting, helping, shaping. If I could add swimming... My feet, from skin to muscle, as well, are really doing well. I can clip my own toenails. And technically, I can reach to do the cuticles. But I wimp out when doing those. If it hurts, better to let someone else do it. Those on my feet get so hard they are like razor sharp rays. I guess they hurt because they harden on into the skin? They are less painful each time, probably even less so as I moisturize my feet, even just occasionally. Worth the money. Walking is much better. And I do believe the body is improving.
Good morning and day.
.
Nothing more done yesterday. Too tired. I did stay awake until 18:00, then called. She sounded much better. I think she was pleased someone cared enough to check more than else. It, sometimes, really is the little things. I crashed as soon after that as my mind could sort to do. Odd how, when extremely tired, my mind and body have to gear or maneuver to sleep. I can't usually just crash, unless I am already falling, if that sort of fall isn't exactly truly sleep, more of a bodily failure. I woke at around 4:00. Fought it for an hour, uselessly. Ten hours seems steep, but I pushed six hours past when I would have gone to bed. Not bad, given the givens.
Cold again today. Maybe that is just me. A shower in an hour, two, less? Soon. Then back to work if possible. No grand plans. I think those get me in trouble sometimes, if that gets me going other times. Just not this time? Right. I was thinking about taking the trash out. Then I realized that all I have for trash is two pizza boxes. Yeah. One job I don't need concern myself regarding.
I'd sure like to do something today. The wrench in the works is dishes. So, that is the plan. Other than a shower and shave, nothing else is planned. Although, if anything else goes forward, I won't naysay it. Focus is on just those. All good.
I am noticing that the massages seem to be... correcting, helping, shaping. If I could add swimming... My feet, from skin to muscle, as well, are really doing well. I can clip my own toenails. And technically, I can reach to do the cuticles. But I wimp out when doing those. If it hurts, better to let someone else do it. Those on my feet get so hard they are like razor sharp rays. I guess they hurt because they harden on into the skin? They are less painful each time, probably even less so as I moisturize my feet, even just occasionally. Worth the money. Walking is much better. And I do believe the body is improving.
Good morning and day.
Saturday, March 24, 2018
Oddly cold.
.
.
Not very much. Laundry was set to dry. Dishes were reset but have gone cold. I finished the last of the pizza. A few very small other things.
I called my mother. She fell yesterday. Another snowstorm hit. Beside dropping three inches of snow, the wind yanked her off her feet while trying to bring her groceries in... the wind snatched the screen door. On her head, on a rock. Rung some bells, cut her noggin. I'd like to press her to go in. She is seeing her doc soon, so won't. I get that. How can I tell her to do other than what I would do? It isn't even, or all, about the money... or I'd send it. She'd just go gamble? ;p
Still, bothersome. We don't always get along, if better lately, mostly. I just don't like to think of such. Good thing, as she says, she is a tough bird. I plan on staying up later to call and check on her. Otherwise I would crash. Hmm. Might try to do something until then. Might have to just to stay awake. Worried she might have a concussion. Tough doesn't always cur it.
As to the cold here, it's strange. It is raining, so above freezing. Yet the cave is not keeping warm. The water must be stealing heat in some way. Not only is the furnace weak, the cold spots are massive. Unless... visitors. That would explain temperature anomalies. My health would as well. Hmm... Actually, because of what I have eaten, I should be nearly fevered. Regardless of the environment. Never mind.
.
Not very much. Laundry was set to dry. Dishes were reset but have gone cold. I finished the last of the pizza. A few very small other things.
I called my mother. She fell yesterday. Another snowstorm hit. Beside dropping three inches of snow, the wind yanked her off her feet while trying to bring her groceries in... the wind snatched the screen door. On her head, on a rock. Rung some bells, cut her noggin. I'd like to press her to go in. She is seeing her doc soon, so won't. I get that. How can I tell her to do other than what I would do? It isn't even, or all, about the money... or I'd send it. She'd just go gamble? ;p
Still, bothersome. We don't always get along, if better lately, mostly. I just don't like to think of such. Good thing, as she says, she is a tough bird. I plan on staying up later to call and check on her. Otherwise I would crash. Hmm. Might try to do something until then. Might have to just to stay awake. Worried she might have a concussion. Tough doesn't always cur it.
As to the cold here, it's strange. It is raining, so above freezing. Yet the cave is not keeping warm. The water must be stealing heat in some way. Not only is the furnace weak, the cold spots are massive. Unless... visitors. That would explain temperature anomalies. My health would as well. Hmm... Actually, because of what I have eaten, I should be nearly fevered. Regardless of the environment. Never mind.
Right. Heading back to life.
.
.
A cold spring, massages, forgetting to eat, the threat of hard dreams, health limits and perhaps a minor dip in health, any number... perhaps all. A problem with one, three, even all if mild enough, or ordered in such a way that each can be mitigated (juggled, really), and I can sometimes get through. Not this time. I was already falling after overdoing a bit. After the massage I mostly stopped remembering to eat. Even milk would have helped.
I just drank tea. A dire thirst beset my notions. A fog settled over the rest of my senses. Sleeping much, even while awake. I don't mind. It is still the colder part of spring. There was sunlight today. The world is preparing for a return to life. I am as well. I am thinking of finding the trailheads up to both the hard and easier climb into the mountain to my south. I don't need it to be fully open to begin going. As long as the entrance is open and even fifteen to thirty minutes of the hikes are open, that would be enough. Actually, having limits would be best in the beginning. As well, I can handle the cold, even severe cold, far better than the heat. Best check, and lighten, my smaller pack. Thin rain gear, dry extra clothes in a waterproof bag, several fire systems, at least a pancho or tarp and cord, ax and blade, food and water for a couple of days... and more.
The next day I am up to being out I plan on doing a bit of shopping and to go looking for trailheads. I sincerely hope that day is today. And a stop at the post. I'm going to make an effort to keep more up on business. Ugh. I can automate just so much. I am hoping to actually at least start dishes today. I have finished laundry... two loads over two days. I will run the dryer a bit to fluff, or finish drying, the last load while I check wools. Finished unless there is enough wool for that sort. I have refreshed the soak of the dishes, just never got to them, these last few days. A shower and shave, this time? I have been working on my feet... cleaning under the nails, doing light cuticle work, and rasping dry skin on shower days, and using lotion every other or third half day (either before bed or when waking). Bleh. Lotion is weird stuff.
Well, if I owe you mail, be patient. I am in a rough spell, off my game, behind the eightball in half my affairs, and still thinking a nap would be the better part of valor? Right. Right? Yeah. Just a short one. Probably. Something I might do first? Soak beans for chili. I can't eat as I used to, so a couple of cups of black and pinto. Another cup of kidney if I have them. Then burger, sausage, and ground lamb or turkey if the price is right, onion, and spices. I'll check the most likely place for domestic herbs and spices, not just for this. I need thyme, tarragon, oregano, rosemary, sage, powdered garlic and onion, none of it from China or other suspect nations.
I can't believe IC had so much better fresh locally produced herbs and spices, dried and fresh. Everything I find here is at least out of state. Much of it is bottled, with extremely ambiguous origins. I'll do what I can. Started looking online... honest, but sourcing from Egypt, Israel, Italy? Why? I want US, and without a doubt. But not the big brands. They outright lie. *shrug* I am at the point of not buying, growing my own. It's a matter of between now and then, assuming it is possible. Ugh.
Did someone mention naptime. Hmm, a Doom sized carton of milk first. Plastic these days? Bleh. Wait until you realize plastic puts androgenics in the products. Doesn't get adults, mostly. Kids? The targets. Intentional. Later.
.
A cold spring, massages, forgetting to eat, the threat of hard dreams, health limits and perhaps a minor dip in health, any number... perhaps all. A problem with one, three, even all if mild enough, or ordered in such a way that each can be mitigated (juggled, really), and I can sometimes get through. Not this time. I was already falling after overdoing a bit. After the massage I mostly stopped remembering to eat. Even milk would have helped.
I just drank tea. A dire thirst beset my notions. A fog settled over the rest of my senses. Sleeping much, even while awake. I don't mind. It is still the colder part of spring. There was sunlight today. The world is preparing for a return to life. I am as well. I am thinking of finding the trailheads up to both the hard and easier climb into the mountain to my south. I don't need it to be fully open to begin going. As long as the entrance is open and even fifteen to thirty minutes of the hikes are open, that would be enough. Actually, having limits would be best in the beginning. As well, I can handle the cold, even severe cold, far better than the heat. Best check, and lighten, my smaller pack. Thin rain gear, dry extra clothes in a waterproof bag, several fire systems, at least a pancho or tarp and cord, ax and blade, food and water for a couple of days... and more.
The next day I am up to being out I plan on doing a bit of shopping and to go looking for trailheads. I sincerely hope that day is today. And a stop at the post. I'm going to make an effort to keep more up on business. Ugh. I can automate just so much. I am hoping to actually at least start dishes today. I have finished laundry... two loads over two days. I will run the dryer a bit to fluff, or finish drying, the last load while I check wools. Finished unless there is enough wool for that sort. I have refreshed the soak of the dishes, just never got to them, these last few days. A shower and shave, this time? I have been working on my feet... cleaning under the nails, doing light cuticle work, and rasping dry skin on shower days, and using lotion every other or third half day (either before bed or when waking). Bleh. Lotion is weird stuff.
Well, if I owe you mail, be patient. I am in a rough spell, off my game, behind the eightball in half my affairs, and still thinking a nap would be the better part of valor? Right. Right? Yeah. Just a short one. Probably. Something I might do first? Soak beans for chili. I can't eat as I used to, so a couple of cups of black and pinto. Another cup of kidney if I have them. Then burger, sausage, and ground lamb or turkey if the price is right, onion, and spices. I'll check the most likely place for domestic herbs and spices, not just for this. I need thyme, tarragon, oregano, rosemary, sage, powdered garlic and onion, none of it from China or other suspect nations.
I can't believe IC had so much better fresh locally produced herbs and spices, dried and fresh. Everything I find here is at least out of state. Much of it is bottled, with extremely ambiguous origins. I'll do what I can. Started looking online... honest, but sourcing from Egypt, Israel, Italy? Why? I want US, and without a doubt. But not the big brands. They outright lie. *shrug* I am at the point of not buying, growing my own. It's a matter of between now and then, assuming it is possible. Ugh.
Did someone mention naptime. Hmm, a Doom sized carton of milk first. Plastic these days? Bleh. Wait until you realize plastic puts androgenics in the products. Doesn't get adults, mostly. Kids? The targets. Intentional. Later.
Friday, March 23, 2018
You know, food is rather important.
.
.
It isn't all of it. It does play a role. I realized I haven't been eating. Probably running at 0 to 500 calories a day for... a while. Maintenance caloric intake, if my body could run all functions at idle, would be between 2,500 to closer to 3,700 calories. The thing is, even now, a third to two thirds of my systems are catatonic. Switching from time to time. Rather than closer to fatal energy per organ blackouts, I go through less severe rolling brownouts, and of shorter durations.
The problem with things is several-fold. The first is that I am not working with constants. How many calories burned per day depends as much on which organs and muscles work as what I may be doing. What uses the most calories, and pretty much all other inputs? The brain. As well, my inputs vary greatly, for several reasons. Sometimes because I can't eat, because I don't digest, forget to eat, or possibly other problems. Some of those aren't calculable.
There is a simple way to know. Whether machine or living, input in will approximate output by volume, or is understood through some rough algebra. I... had started to wonder what the problem was. Then... clear. Way to few calories. Pizza helped yesterday. Tempted to do another run today. I need several solid food loads, for several days, in order to kick things over. I can't cook because I am behind on dishes, have nothing thawed, and just cooking is beyond my reach, possibly. Bad food? Some days calories in, any calories, is good.
No nightmares. Surprised. No dreams or remnant emotions. I don't mind normal nightmares. Those remind me how to respond to difficulties. Practice. It is only when the dream is fixed when they are difficult. The past, or how I remember it, cannot be changed. I am not sure which is expected. I used to know when they would happen, though I never could tell which type. Strange they haven't arrived.
Politics? I was starting to suspect they had worn Trump down, or gotten to him. This spending bill? If it goes through it means Trump is done. He is a wildcard, pretty alone, an outsider, and a pro-American in a political system fully hateful of it's own people... if he is as sold. No easy task, if that is why he was chosen. I guess we will find out if he surrendered or was always on the other side. Tick. Tock.
Later.
.
It isn't all of it. It does play a role. I realized I haven't been eating. Probably running at 0 to 500 calories a day for... a while. Maintenance caloric intake, if my body could run all functions at idle, would be between 2,500 to closer to 3,700 calories. The thing is, even now, a third to two thirds of my systems are catatonic. Switching from time to time. Rather than closer to fatal energy per organ blackouts, I go through less severe rolling brownouts, and of shorter durations.
The problem with things is several-fold. The first is that I am not working with constants. How many calories burned per day depends as much on which organs and muscles work as what I may be doing. What uses the most calories, and pretty much all other inputs? The brain. As well, my inputs vary greatly, for several reasons. Sometimes because I can't eat, because I don't digest, forget to eat, or possibly other problems. Some of those aren't calculable.
There is a simple way to know. Whether machine or living, input in will approximate output by volume, or is understood through some rough algebra. I... had started to wonder what the problem was. Then... clear. Way to few calories. Pizza helped yesterday. Tempted to do another run today. I need several solid food loads, for several days, in order to kick things over. I can't cook because I am behind on dishes, have nothing thawed, and just cooking is beyond my reach, possibly. Bad food? Some days calories in, any calories, is good.
No nightmares. Surprised. No dreams or remnant emotions. I don't mind normal nightmares. Those remind me how to respond to difficulties. Practice. It is only when the dream is fixed when they are difficult. The past, or how I remember it, cannot be changed. I am not sure which is expected. I used to know when they would happen, though I never could tell which type. Strange they haven't arrived.
Politics? I was starting to suspect they had worn Trump down, or gotten to him. This spending bill? If it goes through it means Trump is done. He is a wildcard, pretty alone, an outsider, and a pro-American in a political system fully hateful of it's own people... if he is as sold. No easy task, if that is why he was chosen. I guess we will find out if he surrendered or was always on the other side. Tick. Tock.
Later.
Thursday, March 22, 2018
Never can be certain.
.
.
I feel sure something is closing in. Darkness, death, hard mean things. The Sandman can send anything of fiction, even some things of fact, and not win. I have died in my dreams. I don't know if that would be fatal to you. I just know it hasn't been for me. Past performance is no guarantee of future truth? There are things he could send. My kill switch for those is iffy, or at least rusty.
.
I feel sure something is closing in. Darkness, death, hard mean things. The Sandman can send anything of fiction, even some things of fact, and not win. I have died in my dreams. I don't know if that would be fatal to you. I just know it hasn't been for me. Past performance is no guarantee of future truth? There are things he could send. My kill switch for those is iffy, or at least rusty.
A slow day.
.
.
Turning up the furnace has worked. Food has helped. Both were employed. Being a dark day doesn't help. I will take a shower very shortly, put a load of laundry in, go to the post office, go for lunch, then return and hit the remaining dailies. I will work today. I will get at least the basics done.
I keep seeing advertisements for the NRA. And I would like to join. Lifer, today? However, being a veteran, whose only medical malfunction is heart related... and for that am exempted from gun purchases and concealed carry? I can't join a club which doesn't serve me. Get that fixed and I'll join right after I receive my concealed carry permit, and have it for six months to a year. Why support rights I am not supported in having? Especially service connected, totally disabled? I earned that right more than most can, if rights aren't something that can be earned. God given or mob rule are the only options. Get it done or go pound sand.
Later.
.
Turning up the furnace has worked. Food has helped. Both were employed. Being a dark day doesn't help. I will take a shower very shortly, put a load of laundry in, go to the post office, go for lunch, then return and hit the remaining dailies. I will work today. I will get at least the basics done.
I keep seeing advertisements for the NRA. And I would like to join. Lifer, today? However, being a veteran, whose only medical malfunction is heart related... and for that am exempted from gun purchases and concealed carry? I can't join a club which doesn't serve me. Get that fixed and I'll join right after I receive my concealed carry permit, and have it for six months to a year. Why support rights I am not supported in having? Especially service connected, totally disabled? I earned that right more than most can, if rights aren't something that can be earned. God given or mob rule are the only options. Get it done or go pound sand.
Later.
Swinging days of spring.
.
.
To bed by nearly 19:00, awake by almost 3:00. Eight hours is the goal, sixteen hours awake, minus naps. I know I dreamed. Not the dark dreams I had expected. I'll put music to the notion shortly. Perfect match, several dreams, if not actually erotic. About as pure cheesecake as one could imagine. If... it sure leads another way.
.
To bed by nearly 19:00, awake by almost 3:00. Eight hours is the goal, sixteen hours awake, minus naps. I know I dreamed. Not the dark dreams I had expected. I'll put music to the notion shortly. Perfect match, several dreams, if not actually erotic. About as pure cheesecake as one could imagine. If... it sure leads another way.
Wednesday, March 21, 2018
Good night.
.
.
Technically a nothing day. Hmm? Oh. I called about the other phone. They got tech out right today. It is fixed. I'll be checking it regularly. If I can be sure it works, I can eliminate the cellphone. Although I will have the ringer turned off, with no messaging. I simply won't be harassed. It is for my use only. I really wonder if that isn't the problem. Can they attack the phone lines of those who refuse to answer? Physically if need be?
Strange chow.
.
.
I remembered a discussion with a young woman a year or two back. The topic of quinoa came up. She seemed to know of it. So I asked of her experience. Her mother, she said, would mix brown rice, quinoa, and perhaps other similar items. I was told it was tasty. I wasn't sure about cooking it together, didn't want to cook it apart, so sort of let it go.
With recent experiments in food being successful, the notion crossed my mind again. I gave it a shot. Just brown rice and quinoa, this time, cooked together. It was rather good. I went two rice per quinoa, two parts water per dry. Wonderful, as far as such go. Then I added burger, forgetting I had cooked sprouted wheat in that. It made for an interesting meal. A quarter cup of cheddar and a side of milk and life was good.
I think I am making bulgar, on it's own, with the wheat. I'll try to remember where I read that. The Joy of Cooking, 75th Anniversary, I think. A pretty solid cookery, baking, and etc. tome. If I had to have only one, that would be it.
Still zapped. A nap? Maybe. Pretty dark out there still. It has been raining. Beats snow which beats ice. And yet rains seems to make the world colder than snow. Water creeps in, flows where snow isn't usually able, and in a volume snow can't duplicate. Oh, they did get the recycling too. After noon, almost 13:00? I think so. One last bit, my landline is down again. I'll call them again. Later.
.
I remembered a discussion with a young woman a year or two back. The topic of quinoa came up. She seemed to know of it. So I asked of her experience. Her mother, she said, would mix brown rice, quinoa, and perhaps other similar items. I was told it was tasty. I wasn't sure about cooking it together, didn't want to cook it apart, so sort of let it go.
With recent experiments in food being successful, the notion crossed my mind again. I gave it a shot. Just brown rice and quinoa, this time, cooked together. It was rather good. I went two rice per quinoa, two parts water per dry. Wonderful, as far as such go. Then I added burger, forgetting I had cooked sprouted wheat in that. It made for an interesting meal. A quarter cup of cheddar and a side of milk and life was good.
I think I am making bulgar, on it's own, with the wheat. I'll try to remember where I read that. The Joy of Cooking, 75th Anniversary, I think. A pretty solid cookery, baking, and etc. tome. If I had to have only one, that would be it.
Still zapped. A nap? Maybe. Pretty dark out there still. It has been raining. Beats snow which beats ice. And yet rains seems to make the world colder than snow. Water creeps in, flows where snow isn't usually able, and in a volume snow can't duplicate. Oh, they did get the recycling too. After noon, almost 13:00? I think so. One last bit, my landline is down again. I'll call them again. Later.
It isn't about how I feel.
.
.
For the most part I am feeling really good. No aches, bunched muscles, knotted nerves. It isn't that I am too relaxed, I went through that stage quickly, yesterday at about this time until 5:00 or 6:00. Mildly. It is a simple lack of energy. It isn't to the point where sleep is desired. Almost as much a lack of will power as it is a lack of energy. Add in focus issues.
I'll chalk it up to what it takes for a nearly dead body to use a massage to learn to relax without surrendering that little tight grip that prevents death in full. You do know I am not supposed to be alive, don't you. Why do you think my feet have deformed? Gripping to this world, to life itself. So learning to relax without giving it all away takes external stimulus and internal filtering of that. A lot more going on than appearances belie.
Still, the goal is to recover more swiftly. Get back to work faster. Then be able to do more work altogether in the end. I will get there. If I survive. Probably. Ugh. That and eventual lowered blood pressure. I can't show it has helped if I do sense that it has. And, of course, the side effects. Those mean something. Much as with medication. These sessions are rather potent.
I'll stick with the plan I made yesterday. I am hoping to get back to things today, or tomorrow. I will get back to things soon if not now. I was speaking to my pedicurist. She used to be a varied dancer. As a once athletic type, I suggested how I used to prefer to remain relaxed, as relaxed as possible, until I needed a burst. Then that spring was called in. At first I wasn't sure she got it, then, maybe, it dawned on her? Or was she merely being politely agreeable? Anyway... I am hoping to find some spring in, from, through the relaxation. It just needs energy.
Later.
.
For the most part I am feeling really good. No aches, bunched muscles, knotted nerves. It isn't that I am too relaxed, I went through that stage quickly, yesterday at about this time until 5:00 or 6:00. Mildly. It is a simple lack of energy. It isn't to the point where sleep is desired. Almost as much a lack of will power as it is a lack of energy. Add in focus issues.
I'll chalk it up to what it takes for a nearly dead body to use a massage to learn to relax without surrendering that little tight grip that prevents death in full. You do know I am not supposed to be alive, don't you. Why do you think my feet have deformed? Gripping to this world, to life itself. So learning to relax without giving it all away takes external stimulus and internal filtering of that. A lot more going on than appearances belie.
Still, the goal is to recover more swiftly. Get back to work faster. Then be able to do more work altogether in the end. I will get there. If I survive. Probably. Ugh. That and eventual lowered blood pressure. I can't show it has helped if I do sense that it has. And, of course, the side effects. Those mean something. Much as with medication. These sessions are rather potent.
I'll stick with the plan I made yesterday. I am hoping to get back to things today, or tomorrow. I will get back to things soon if not now. I was speaking to my pedicurist. She used to be a varied dancer. As a once athletic type, I suggested how I used to prefer to remain relaxed, as relaxed as possible, until I needed a burst. Then that spring was called in. At first I wasn't sure she got it, then, maybe, it dawned on her? Or was she merely being politely agreeable? Anyway... I am hoping to find some spring in, from, through the relaxation. It just needs energy.
Later.
Tuesday, March 20, 2018
Nothing.
.
.
Other than it being 14:05, I am still awake without pain, and I ate a meal, that is it. Further, it is bedtime. It is what it was. Good night.
.
Other than it being 14:05, I am still awake without pain, and I ate a meal, that is it. Further, it is bedtime. It is what it was. Good night.
Awake and well.
.
.
A bit after midnight, down around noon, 13:00? Something in that ballpark. No headache, no bunched muscles and nerves, no body pain, and at least one really neat dream, if I think there were more. Oh, no fever or overheating... if keeping the furnace as low as I dare all of the time helps. Usually only keep it that low at night. The girls aren't totally happy with it, but there are farm cats who know far worse.
-------------
The dream -
I was living here, but had purchased a house from a trucker, to include the equipment and rig. The neighbor wasn't happy. He had access to the stuff (to what degree I don't know). Eventually, grudgingly, he requested access. I suggested it would be available unless things went missing (it was inventoried and rather well organized). Actually he had to sign a responsibility voucher. Not happy. Done.
Actually a friend of his wondered about teaching me to drive. While I couldn't go on long routs, I could bring a short haul, one of their trailers, a dozer on a flatbed, or such. Just a third shorthauler. I was deemed bright enough, and strong enough, to get and go. So the training began.
This is in a version of post-collapse. Not the wooliest of versions, obviously. At least not more locally. No state licensing or general oversight, heck, no federal. Slower speeds often, road repairs being spotty and rarer. But no road pirates or such. My training was as good as it got.
I ended driving many short hauls for one or the other, with them in the passenger side. Apparently I had a knack, an instinctive driver. Even when I did it as they would not, it turned out to be a good call. It was on the last of these, in the dream, when it happened. Popping over a peak, starting a long, thankfully straight, harder grade, I geared as required then just eased on down. Then it hit. A freezing rain instantly turned the road into ice.
The rig lost all traction before anything could be done. I asked for any advice, from the friend of my neighbor, who otherwise would have been driving. Nothing. So I asked that he not try to second guess or advise until whatever happened was done. He, ashen faced, simply shook his head in agreement and swallowed a dry lump.
Initially I thought to try to run it to the emergency off ramp. There were curves between here and there, and a few flat(ter) areas. But she was picking up speed too fast for any of that. Breaks wouldn't do, so gearing down? It and steering were all I could do. The first downshift or two went well, if to no effect. Still, it is what was to do, or nothing. On to the next shift.
This time perhaps something caught, briefly. Instead of just slowing, the rig began spinning. With some serious care, I ended going trailer first down the interstate. I kept steering, and downshifting, until I could get to reverse. A bit of a shudder, but kept it on the road. Then downgearing to the lowest reverse. Then brakes of some sort. Actually on advice from my passenger/instructor... rightly as it turned out.
.
A bit after midnight, down around noon, 13:00? Something in that ballpark. No headache, no bunched muscles and nerves, no body pain, and at least one really neat dream, if I think there were more. Oh, no fever or overheating... if keeping the furnace as low as I dare all of the time helps. Usually only keep it that low at night. The girls aren't totally happy with it, but there are farm cats who know far worse.
-------------
The dream -
I was living here, but had purchased a house from a trucker, to include the equipment and rig. The neighbor wasn't happy. He had access to the stuff (to what degree I don't know). Eventually, grudgingly, he requested access. I suggested it would be available unless things went missing (it was inventoried and rather well organized). Actually he had to sign a responsibility voucher. Not happy. Done.
Actually a friend of his wondered about teaching me to drive. While I couldn't go on long routs, I could bring a short haul, one of their trailers, a dozer on a flatbed, or such. Just a third shorthauler. I was deemed bright enough, and strong enough, to get and go. So the training began.
This is in a version of post-collapse. Not the wooliest of versions, obviously. At least not more locally. No state licensing or general oversight, heck, no federal. Slower speeds often, road repairs being spotty and rarer. But no road pirates or such. My training was as good as it got.
I ended driving many short hauls for one or the other, with them in the passenger side. Apparently I had a knack, an instinctive driver. Even when I did it as they would not, it turned out to be a good call. It was on the last of these, in the dream, when it happened. Popping over a peak, starting a long, thankfully straight, harder grade, I geared as required then just eased on down. Then it hit. A freezing rain instantly turned the road into ice.
The rig lost all traction before anything could be done. I asked for any advice, from the friend of my neighbor, who otherwise would have been driving. Nothing. So I asked that he not try to second guess or advise until whatever happened was done. He, ashen faced, simply shook his head in agreement and swallowed a dry lump.
Initially I thought to try to run it to the emergency off ramp. There were curves between here and there, and a few flat(ter) areas. But she was picking up speed too fast for any of that. Breaks wouldn't do, so gearing down? It and steering were all I could do. The first downshift or two went well, if to no effect. Still, it is what was to do, or nothing. On to the next shift.
This time perhaps something caught, briefly. Instead of just slowing, the rig began spinning. With some serious care, I ended going trailer first down the interstate. I kept steering, and downshifting, until I could get to reverse. A bit of a shudder, but kept it on the road. Then downgearing to the lowest reverse. Then brakes of some sort. Actually on advice from my passenger/instructor... rightly as it turned out.
Monday, March 19, 2018
Still a bit rough.
.
.
Mostly the neck and shoulders, kinked. It is as bad as it has been this weekend. If that is half as severe as the first time. I can't remember for sure, or if I blogged about it, but I think I nearly quit massages the first time, for the initial fallouts. These are twice as long. I still think my recovery time is vastly superior and increasing this time. Even so, it is still rough into the third day. Sleep is off as well.
By the time I realized to get trash and recycling out it was too late. At least for trash. They saw me take it out. Apparently, if they have passed on their plan they won't come back. Oh well. If trash went past, I'll bet recycling was missed too. I'll give it to early afternoon. I never can tell when, and have seen both past noon.
A shower. Perhaps a shave. A little work on the feet, trying to keep undernail areas clear, sometimes I'll use a rasp. Weighed in at 262.6, the same first three digits as the last two times, over the last five or six weeks. No more loss, but down from 285. The goal is 240. If I can hit that, then I might get excited about doing more. If swimming, even walking, is tempting. If I don't think walking will do anything save, perhaps, get me to swim... if the water is and stays clean at the reservoir... lake. I just don't think walking, even at .mil pace, does anything. Perhaps with a pack? Nah, that just damages the knees. Hiking though, that'll do you for. I don't think the path I want is open yet.
Today? Kitchen carts put together, dishes, dailies, and naps as needed. Tomorrow, the post. Not quite up to that today, this morning. Oh, perhaps a load or two of laundry. Trying to get back into the swing of things. It might kill me, literally, but I can't just quit. Hit the gas and let's see what will happen. Already been dead, have more faith than ever. Not in me, mind you. I... that was one of the first things I had to surrender when I finally saw the way. Empty, open, faithful.
Good day.
---------
Well, that was different. Two and an half hours later they... stopped and got the trash? I did need it. Perhaps, on their way back further on the line after several loads, it worked out. I'm not so paranoid as to think writing would influence? But when you live in an electronically sophisticated Mayberry... just maybe. No joke. It's not perfect, but the efforts are made. Even for one such as me. Usually, or more, by most. If I hold no grudges against those who can't.
.
Mostly the neck and shoulders, kinked. It is as bad as it has been this weekend. If that is half as severe as the first time. I can't remember for sure, or if I blogged about it, but I think I nearly quit massages the first time, for the initial fallouts. These are twice as long. I still think my recovery time is vastly superior and increasing this time. Even so, it is still rough into the third day. Sleep is off as well.
By the time I realized to get trash and recycling out it was too late. At least for trash. They saw me take it out. Apparently, if they have passed on their plan they won't come back. Oh well. If trash went past, I'll bet recycling was missed too. I'll give it to early afternoon. I never can tell when, and have seen both past noon.
A shower. Perhaps a shave. A little work on the feet, trying to keep undernail areas clear, sometimes I'll use a rasp. Weighed in at 262.6, the same first three digits as the last two times, over the last five or six weeks. No more loss, but down from 285. The goal is 240. If I can hit that, then I might get excited about doing more. If swimming, even walking, is tempting. If I don't think walking will do anything save, perhaps, get me to swim... if the water is and stays clean at the reservoir... lake. I just don't think walking, even at .mil pace, does anything. Perhaps with a pack? Nah, that just damages the knees. Hiking though, that'll do you for. I don't think the path I want is open yet.
Today? Kitchen carts put together, dishes, dailies, and naps as needed. Tomorrow, the post. Not quite up to that today, this morning. Oh, perhaps a load or two of laundry. Trying to get back into the swing of things. It might kill me, literally, but I can't just quit. Hit the gas and let's see what will happen. Already been dead, have more faith than ever. Not in me, mind you. I... that was one of the first things I had to surrender when I finally saw the way. Empty, open, faithful.
Good day.
---------
Well, that was different. Two and an half hours later they... stopped and got the trash? I did need it. Perhaps, on their way back further on the line after several loads, it worked out. I'm not so paranoid as to think writing would influence? But when you live in an electronically sophisticated Mayberry... just maybe. No joke. It's not perfect, but the efforts are made. Even for one such as me. Usually, or more, by most. If I hold no grudges against those who can't.
Sunday, March 18, 2018
Smoother.
.
.
Not back to work. Still with headaches and bunched nerves and muscles. Simply no where near the intensity. Not comfortable, a definite strain, needing lots of sleep, at random times. Just easier to work with. I don't think I have even thought to use aspirin this time, though if I remember it didn't help... very strangely.
The girls want fed. I missed there usual. Could just give them hardtack for cats. They would eat it. Yeah. While it isn't, strictly speaking, fair. Life isn't fair. Further, if I feed them canned now, I'll not hear the end of it for a week. Can't treat them without them getting pushy, damned raccoon beggars. So, yeah. Dry.
I am missing a lot of things. While I am not ready to work, I do need to hit dailies. I will get trash and recycling(?) out, try to get dishes squared, and cook a few chops and eggs? Something like that. As much as possible before I crash again. Oh, and a shower. Amazing what a massage does to me. I'm curious what difference there will be with the pedicure and massage a week apart. It realy is good to have the feet without razor cuticles, nails pushed upward, and layers of dead skin on the heels and soles. Well, some layers of dead skin to go.
Now to figure out where to swim. Neighbor suggested school. Not sure, but it is closer. Don't want year passes, not until I believe it would work. Nervous about having children around. Kids are chaos, of their own sort. Still, it's more that there would be enough times available, no older middle aged women trying to latch on, and no gas theft. I'll begin looking into it.
Later.
.
Not back to work. Still with headaches and bunched nerves and muscles. Simply no where near the intensity. Not comfortable, a definite strain, needing lots of sleep, at random times. Just easier to work with. I don't think I have even thought to use aspirin this time, though if I remember it didn't help... very strangely.
The girls want fed. I missed there usual. Could just give them hardtack for cats. They would eat it. Yeah. While it isn't, strictly speaking, fair. Life isn't fair. Further, if I feed them canned now, I'll not hear the end of it for a week. Can't treat them without them getting pushy, damned raccoon beggars. So, yeah. Dry.
I am missing a lot of things. While I am not ready to work, I do need to hit dailies. I will get trash and recycling(?) out, try to get dishes squared, and cook a few chops and eggs? Something like that. As much as possible before I crash again. Oh, and a shower. Amazing what a massage does to me. I'm curious what difference there will be with the pedicure and massage a week apart. It realy is good to have the feet without razor cuticles, nails pushed upward, and layers of dead skin on the heels and soles. Well, some layers of dead skin to go.
Now to figure out where to swim. Neighbor suggested school. Not sure, but it is closer. Don't want year passes, not until I believe it would work. Nervous about having children around. Kids are chaos, of their own sort. Still, it's more that there would be enough times available, no older middle aged women trying to latch on, and no gas theft. I'll begin looking into it.
Later.
The heat is back.
.
.
Milder. As are the aches and pains. I would have suspected similar intensity, shorter duration. Sleep has been up and down, if running myself into the dirt before the massage played a part. To be honest, I think the massage partially cancelled the problems created by the work, as two waves in a pond, offset by distance rather than time in this case, will moderate each other. Over time, if both are large enough events, they will do more cancelling than enhancing. Well, in that situation. This is more akin to tidal modeling, where the waves hit squarely, thus the modifications are immediate.
Hmm? I mean, I think it is working as hoped. It will take time for it to work more exactly. If I can get recovery down to a day, and more mild by a good bit... I can still increase the level of intensity. I am hoping to top that out. Eventually I will have to, perhaps adding an extra session in a month. Gotta try to get bp down. Perhaps that isn't possible now. I won't check for another month. It took a couple months the first time, for it to begin falling.
Oh, I finally got an email off. I fall behind from time to time, if not so bad as before. I have trouble reading gmail through the ps4, even on a big screen. The zoom feature makes reading annoying with as laggy as the system is. Copying to blogger, then increasing font, plus zoom which works well in this system, and... there it goes. Especially for longer emails. One problem solved, mostly.
I am still up and down. Unable to sleep for long, if sleeping better. And I am feeling better while awake. Definitely a better and faster recovery. Later.
-----------
.
Milder. As are the aches and pains. I would have suspected similar intensity, shorter duration. Sleep has been up and down, if running myself into the dirt before the massage played a part. To be honest, I think the massage partially cancelled the problems created by the work, as two waves in a pond, offset by distance rather than time in this case, will moderate each other. Over time, if both are large enough events, they will do more cancelling than enhancing. Well, in that situation. This is more akin to tidal modeling, where the waves hit squarely, thus the modifications are immediate.
Hmm? I mean, I think it is working as hoped. It will take time for it to work more exactly. If I can get recovery down to a day, and more mild by a good bit... I can still increase the level of intensity. I am hoping to top that out. Eventually I will have to, perhaps adding an extra session in a month. Gotta try to get bp down. Perhaps that isn't possible now. I won't check for another month. It took a couple months the first time, for it to begin falling.
Oh, I finally got an email off. I fall behind from time to time, if not so bad as before. I have trouble reading gmail through the ps4, even on a big screen. The zoom feature makes reading annoying with as laggy as the system is. Copying to blogger, then increasing font, plus zoom which works well in this system, and... there it goes. Especially for longer emails. One problem solved, mostly.
I am still up and down. Unable to sleep for long, if sleeping better. And I am feeling better while awake. Definitely a better and faster recovery. Later.
-----------
Saturday, March 17, 2018
Such deep sleep.
.
.
As recently, and with my first massage, I am sleeping so hard that when I wake the world spins. Just that half tick to starboard. As if my bell was rung. Yeah been there, done that. And, I realize, massages open the waterways. They work far better than any diuretic I have taken. I suppose relaxation, for me, is difficult. I am also guessing it is thus quite needed. All of these are in the good.
The only downside is from everything being relaxed and shifted. As such I can't find a comfortable place to sit or rest in these first few days. Which means I tend to run into skeletal muscular headaches and pain as my body reformats it's world. Not as heavily this time, as well I found head rolls, about the neck, as a possible relief. Though, perhaps, there is more to the problem? I'll plug in the datas and see what the computer might suggest.
No matter though, I suspect it will take a few days and lots of sleep. I am surprised this is hitting as hard as it is. It must be the full hour session. Although, I worked myself to exhaustion in the week ending in the massage. I suspect there is added emphasis because of it. If I can push more, then relax better, and cycle that, I will win or die. Being lousy at dying is a bonus sometimes.
I called my mom. No Texas trip. My brother has too many things going on, as I suspected. Only the grandparents are invited. My mom will, even then, be flown in then out. No huge surprise. Some disappointment. A raincheck? We'll see. Mother thinks next year, but that is when the family reunion was hoped. Put that off another year? She suggests, while there, we sneak off a few days. She wants to see where Mardi Gras is held, I want to see the Alamo and possibly the western mountains or coast, both? Sea food! That way we aren't in their hair the whole time, but have a base? I could see staying at least a week this way. Maybe a wee longer if we get hotel rooms for several nights out. Perhaps visiting a city or two a local good ol' boy, repatriated son, is writing about... who might develop a mild itinerary?
When you are free as the wind, money is the only limit. With another year to save, that won't be much trouble. Though my mother would still like me to visit this year. Another extended stay. She may be moving. Possible. But more like two or three weeks. This time I'll book a room on the way, and back, before I go. They are all cracker box hotels. If I could find a better one, off the beaten path a bit, I'd take it. Hmm, a B&B? Actually, not a bad choice for Texas, if we make it.
I think I am recovering faster. Still a bit stiff, with nerve bundles and muscles bunched. My body is attempting to refuse relaxation. It's as if it doesn't understand. It is trying to put the body back into the shape it knows, understands. Imagine trying to get a wild animal to relax. Almost everything you do will make it worse. I have mind and spirit or soul to help the flesh make new connections, if that has limits. That is part of the heat problem. Even when bound, a wild animal can yet resist to the utter limits of it's restraints, even if the restraints are simple exhaustion. Yeah, that is probably it. Thank you, subconscious computer.
Later.
.
As recently, and with my first massage, I am sleeping so hard that when I wake the world spins. Just that half tick to starboard. As if my bell was rung. Yeah been there, done that. And, I realize, massages open the waterways. They work far better than any diuretic I have taken. I suppose relaxation, for me, is difficult. I am also guessing it is thus quite needed. All of these are in the good.
The only downside is from everything being relaxed and shifted. As such I can't find a comfortable place to sit or rest in these first few days. Which means I tend to run into skeletal muscular headaches and pain as my body reformats it's world. Not as heavily this time, as well I found head rolls, about the neck, as a possible relief. Though, perhaps, there is more to the problem? I'll plug in the datas and see what the computer might suggest.
No matter though, I suspect it will take a few days and lots of sleep. I am surprised this is hitting as hard as it is. It must be the full hour session. Although, I worked myself to exhaustion in the week ending in the massage. I suspect there is added emphasis because of it. If I can push more, then relax better, and cycle that, I will win or die. Being lousy at dying is a bonus sometimes.
I called my mom. No Texas trip. My brother has too many things going on, as I suspected. Only the grandparents are invited. My mom will, even then, be flown in then out. No huge surprise. Some disappointment. A raincheck? We'll see. Mother thinks next year, but that is when the family reunion was hoped. Put that off another year? She suggests, while there, we sneak off a few days. She wants to see where Mardi Gras is held, I want to see the Alamo and possibly the western mountains or coast, both? Sea food! That way we aren't in their hair the whole time, but have a base? I could see staying at least a week this way. Maybe a wee longer if we get hotel rooms for several nights out. Perhaps visiting a city or two a local good ol' boy, repatriated son, is writing about... who might develop a mild itinerary?
When you are free as the wind, money is the only limit. With another year to save, that won't be much trouble. Though my mother would still like me to visit this year. Another extended stay. She may be moving. Possible. But more like two or three weeks. This time I'll book a room on the way, and back, before I go. They are all cracker box hotels. If I could find a better one, off the beaten path a bit, I'd take it. Hmm, a B&B? Actually, not a bad choice for Texas, if we make it.
I think I am recovering faster. Still a bit stiff, with nerve bundles and muscles bunched. My body is attempting to refuse relaxation. It's as if it doesn't understand. It is trying to put the body back into the shape it knows, understands. Imagine trying to get a wild animal to relax. Almost everything you do will make it worse. I have mind and spirit or soul to help the flesh make new connections, if that has limits. That is part of the heat problem. Even when bound, a wild animal can yet resist to the utter limits of it's restraints, even if the restraints are simple exhaustion. Yeah, that is probably it. Thank you, subconscious computer.
Later.
Good.
.
.
It's 3:42. Might have been ten minutes ago when I woke. I didn't exactly pounce from bed or sprint to the bathroom. But I didn't go slow or easy either. I went down sometime, anytime, after 22:00 but before 23:00. I am thinking in the forty's. Then again, with time pieces still in variance for specific reasons or still at, or at some partial of, the old time... Sleep was very good. No suffering. It's the rare type of sleep I hope to have.
I suspect I'll be back to bed in less than a dozen hours. Though who knows. Or cares. On this weekend, what happens, happens. I won't push, pull, stretch, shove, or any such. Not on any outset. If I happen to get working on the carts, then begin running on empty, I may attempt to push on through. Other than that, if I don't feel like it, so be it.
I can't remember exactly how things went last time. I know I initially thought I had escaped repercussions. It wasn't until the second day that I learned otherwise. I am not sure this quite counts. If honestly, if it takes me down every time for several days, if it lowers my bp it is well worth it. As well, I believe it helped me eventually do bucket loads of work once I recovered. I do believe a large part of that run is directly tied to the massage and pedicure. Something about removing background pain from walking makes mobility less of a thought process. 'Ready for the pain?' Not always, even if you've buried the sensations deep. The massage was almost a minor, or false wound. It caused healing. Almost akin to an inoculation.
I did work on my feet several times between visits. Removing dry skin, digging lightly under toenails, remembering to wear socks, mostly. But I... have such a revulsion to lotion. I just don't believe it will wash out of socks. Hmm... if I could find thick long cotton socks, white, preshrunk, so I could bake the bastards when I wash, I'd feel better about it. I have been looking, not finding. I just don't... trust... gunk lingering around.
I am definitely hungry. I ate well before bed. A good sign. I thawed meat yesterday! Brats, burger, and chops, plus I still have cabbage and crumble. I'm thinking brats and cabbage for $1000. Bake the brats, then crisp them up top, adding cabbage to warm that while cool the brats. Later.
.
It's 3:42. Might have been ten minutes ago when I woke. I didn't exactly pounce from bed or sprint to the bathroom. But I didn't go slow or easy either. I went down sometime, anytime, after 22:00 but before 23:00. I am thinking in the forty's. Then again, with time pieces still in variance for specific reasons or still at, or at some partial of, the old time... Sleep was very good. No suffering. It's the rare type of sleep I hope to have.
I suspect I'll be back to bed in less than a dozen hours. Though who knows. Or cares. On this weekend, what happens, happens. I won't push, pull, stretch, shove, or any such. Not on any outset. If I happen to get working on the carts, then begin running on empty, I may attempt to push on through. Other than that, if I don't feel like it, so be it.
I can't remember exactly how things went last time. I know I initially thought I had escaped repercussions. It wasn't until the second day that I learned otherwise. I am not sure this quite counts. If honestly, if it takes me down every time for several days, if it lowers my bp it is well worth it. As well, I believe it helped me eventually do bucket loads of work once I recovered. I do believe a large part of that run is directly tied to the massage and pedicure. Something about removing background pain from walking makes mobility less of a thought process. 'Ready for the pain?' Not always, even if you've buried the sensations deep. The massage was almost a minor, or false wound. It caused healing. Almost akin to an inoculation.
I did work on my feet several times between visits. Removing dry skin, digging lightly under toenails, remembering to wear socks, mostly. But I... have such a revulsion to lotion. I just don't believe it will wash out of socks. Hmm... if I could find thick long cotton socks, white, preshrunk, so I could bake the bastards when I wash, I'd feel better about it. I have been looking, not finding. I just don't... trust... gunk lingering around.
I am definitely hungry. I ate well before bed. A good sign. I thawed meat yesterday! Brats, burger, and chops, plus I still have cabbage and crumble. I'm thinking brats and cabbage for $1000. Bake the brats, then crisp them up top, adding cabbage to warm that while cool the brats. Later.
Friday, March 16, 2018
At the salon again.
.
.
Better. The feet, the body. It doesn't remind me of a fight, more like a well paired sparring session. Not going for hard, solid, punches, but precise, technical strikes. More about where to hit, than power, at least at this stage. In other words a reasonable workout with a few jabs to be remembered.
I am planning to take the weekend off. Off means at most one full scale task, plus dailies. Nothing fancy, just not a true day off. Oh, and keeping up with any darned fool cooking or other project. So... no darned cooking!?! Bleh. I would like to get to where I can really take Sunday off. Without guilt, one way or the other. Not sure that is possible. It would mean being able to keep up five days a week, at least. I just... don't think that is for me ever again. I'll be stumbling to every finish line either exhausted, broke in some way, a day (or days) late, or several or all of those.
My feet are nearly to skin. I'll find out how well I do with recovery this time. Two more regular and then I'll let her whip out the claws and go deep tissue. I'll give her two shots with that. Just not sure it's my thing. I'll cool down for a bit, relax, then crash like a good little NorK rocket, and webelow dear leader. I offset massage and pedicure a week and set each for earlier in the day. Still later afternoon, just not end of the day plus. Oh, reminder, set wristwatch... to the right new time. At least I tipped right this time. Live, stumble, learn, move on to the next set. Amen. Remember, God's work is thirsty work.
Good night. *sniff, sniff sniff* My coconut boomerang coming back?
.
Better. The feet, the body. It doesn't remind me of a fight, more like a well paired sparring session. Not going for hard, solid, punches, but precise, technical strikes. More about where to hit, than power, at least at this stage. In other words a reasonable workout with a few jabs to be remembered.
I am planning to take the weekend off. Off means at most one full scale task, plus dailies. Nothing fancy, just not a true day off. Oh, and keeping up with any darned fool cooking or other project. So... no darned cooking!?! Bleh. I would like to get to where I can really take Sunday off. Without guilt, one way or the other. Not sure that is possible. It would mean being able to keep up five days a week, at least. I just... don't think that is for me ever again. I'll be stumbling to every finish line either exhausted, broke in some way, a day (or days) late, or several or all of those.
My feet are nearly to skin. I'll find out how well I do with recovery this time. Two more regular and then I'll let her whip out the claws and go deep tissue. I'll give her two shots with that. Just not sure it's my thing. I'll cool down for a bit, relax, then crash like a good little NorK rocket, and webelow dear leader. I offset massage and pedicure a week and set each for earlier in the day. Still later afternoon, just not end of the day plus. Oh, reminder, set wristwatch... to the right new time. At least I tipped right this time. Live, stumble, learn, move on to the next set. Amen. Remember, God's work is thirsty work.
Good night. *sniff, sniff sniff* My coconut boomerang coming back?
Some sleep.
.
.
After an hour resting in bed, something in the tangle giving pain at the base of my neck relaxed. A bit of shifting and sorting of pillows allowed me to find a place to rest without pain. Sleep followed shortly. It was nearly 11:00. I had to be up by 14:00. Not much sleep. If I wasn't sure I'd wake. Made it back up in time. A few more things to do before I can return to sleep.
As rough as waking can be, I am pretty sure, this time, that just the three hours down was worth it. Eyes are a bit red, dry, and itch. The cost of pushing a bit hard. The tension remains dissipated. Mostly. Everything sort of burns from being taught for too long. I did earn it. I'd best get on with things. Later.
.
After an hour resting in bed, something in the tangle giving pain at the base of my neck relaxed. A bit of shifting and sorting of pillows allowed me to find a place to rest without pain. Sleep followed shortly. It was nearly 11:00. I had to be up by 14:00. Not much sleep. If I wasn't sure I'd wake. Made it back up in time. A few more things to do before I can return to sleep.
As rough as waking can be, I am pretty sure, this time, that just the three hours down was worth it. Eyes are a bit red, dry, and itch. The cost of pushing a bit hard. The tension remains dissipated. Mostly. Everything sort of burns from being taught for too long. I did earn it. I'd best get on with things. Later.
Too much sleep yesterday?
.
.
A large bunching of muscles, nerves, perhaps sinew and else knotted at the back of my neck. A nearly migraine level headache, with mild nausea and light sensitivity. I had hoped since it was mechanically based aspirin would take it out. No such luck. Nor could I sneak past it, on to sleep. I'll figure something out.
The girls, for whatever reason, just won't leave me be either. Sam, mostly. But after I get her to leave Sassy inches closer. Still a bit overheated too. No, not a fever. Just the body grinding to deal with, to it, excessive muscle stimulation. I'm not even sure it can build muscle anymore. I think it tries. It just ends up overheating.
I need sleep. I want it. I can't do much without it. Later.
.
A large bunching of muscles, nerves, perhaps sinew and else knotted at the back of my neck. A nearly migraine level headache, with mild nausea and light sensitivity. I had hoped since it was mechanically based aspirin would take it out. No such luck. Nor could I sneak past it, on to sleep. I'll figure something out.
The girls, for whatever reason, just won't leave me be either. Sam, mostly. But after I get her to leave Sassy inches closer. Still a bit overheated too. No, not a fever. Just the body grinding to deal with, to it, excessive muscle stimulation. I'm not even sure it can build muscle anymore. I think it tries. It just ends up overheating.
I need sleep. I want it. I can't do much without it. Later.
Well and truly exhausted.
.
.
Everything is ready for a shower. All of my immediate dailies are finished. I simply couldn't take the shower yet. Worn. So I watched a movie. Just a time killer. Not the slasher, or other trash. While not high art, it was sufficient, even proffering interesting thoughts. Now to shower. Burning up again. Oh well. A cooler shower, turning the furnace lower as I go, turning on a couple of fans... that is about what I can do.
I'll probably watch another show as I let my hair dry, then back to bed.
Good night, and morning.
.
Everything is ready for a shower. All of my immediate dailies are finished. I simply couldn't take the shower yet. Worn. So I watched a movie. Just a time killer. Not the slasher, or other trash. While not high art, it was sufficient, even proffering interesting thoughts. Now to shower. Burning up again. Oh well. A cooler shower, turning the furnace lower as I go, turning on a couple of fans... that is about what I can do.
I'll probably watch another show as I let my hair dry, then back to bed.
Good night, and morning.
Thursday, March 15, 2018
It often amazes me how much needs done, when I'm not doing anything.
.
.
Just cat litter, sourdoughs, and checking kefirs. Though, there was more. I had one of the oven grills yet in the plastic tub, in the regular tub, soaking. I finished it off, dried it, then reinstalled it. Dumping and rinsing the plastic tub. Then I swept while at it. As well, I'd like to sort the things off the bathroom chair to put it back. I need to get a magazine and book rack in there, or the chair becomes the catchall. Which makes it useless for it's intended purposes and a bother to move for sweeping. All that last just to eventually shower. I won't shave tonight.
There is always more. Little jobs which either are in the way or become distractions either from chained efforts or due to frustrations with other tasks, or simply a temporary loss of focus. There is always something to do. If, mostly, I'd like to sort out the cave, then sit, perhaps cooking a few times a week. Then just hire a woman to clean from time to time. We'll see.
Food before showering. Meat crumble, cabbage, and butter. It may not be divine if even manna from heaven can get a bit long in the fang. No complaints. Of course more tea had to be brewed. Always damned something. Later.
.
Just cat litter, sourdoughs, and checking kefirs. Though, there was more. I had one of the oven grills yet in the plastic tub, in the regular tub, soaking. I finished it off, dried it, then reinstalled it. Dumping and rinsing the plastic tub. Then I swept while at it. As well, I'd like to sort the things off the bathroom chair to put it back. I need to get a magazine and book rack in there, or the chair becomes the catchall. Which makes it useless for it's intended purposes and a bother to move for sweeping. All that last just to eventually shower. I won't shave tonight.
There is always more. Little jobs which either are in the way or become distractions either from chained efforts or due to frustrations with other tasks, or simply a temporary loss of focus. There is always something to do. If, mostly, I'd like to sort out the cave, then sit, perhaps cooking a few times a week. Then just hire a woman to clean from time to time. We'll see.
Food before showering. Meat crumble, cabbage, and butter. It may not be divine if even manna from heaven can get a bit long in the fang. No complaints. Of course more tea had to be brewed. Always damned something. Later.
A rather long hard sleep.
.
.
Sore from sleep. Still tired. All good. I have earned this. It might not seem much, for some it isn't. Not all was listed, though even with everything accounted, it isn't all that much. Most people don't need 60 mg of furosemide to keep their heart from flooding their lungs with blood backing up. Mostly.
I'll be back to it soon. I'll keep up on things until then. But for a day or four I need to rest, mostly. Perhaps all dailies and a bigger chore per day. Putting the kitchen carts together today, putting them into service by loading devices on them tomorrow, or such.
I was so tired I had to go without the fan. After the heat problem ended I then could not warm up. Honestly, overheating is the better problem. I woke often, just couldn't stay awake. I am only awake now because my body is too sore to recline and I don't have a good place to try to sleep otherwise. If I ever get the living room cleared and cleaned again, I am getting a recliner, one that fits me. That will require store visits along with online review searches. Salesmen will sell you anything.
A shower and shave might help recalibrate. At least it warms the body. But what to eat. Ever been hungry, but not for anything. Reminds me more of when I was a kid. Oh, the zit is gone. Still working on the minor sore, if that is healing fast. Never had a problem with them, not often. I guess they have just been a humbling reminder that I live in fallen flesh. Not a bad thing, I suppose. Though I am much happier to see it go, taking it's pain and wound with it.
On to... a shower first? In a bit. The heat up a couple of notches while I wake, then the waterworks. Later.
.
Sore from sleep. Still tired. All good. I have earned this. It might not seem much, for some it isn't. Not all was listed, though even with everything accounted, it isn't all that much. Most people don't need 60 mg of furosemide to keep their heart from flooding their lungs with blood backing up. Mostly.
I'll be back to it soon. I'll keep up on things until then. But for a day or four I need to rest, mostly. Perhaps all dailies and a bigger chore per day. Putting the kitchen carts together today, putting them into service by loading devices on them tomorrow, or such.
I was so tired I had to go without the fan. After the heat problem ended I then could not warm up. Honestly, overheating is the better problem. I woke often, just couldn't stay awake. I am only awake now because my body is too sore to recline and I don't have a good place to try to sleep otherwise. If I ever get the living room cleared and cleaned again, I am getting a recliner, one that fits me. That will require store visits along with online review searches. Salesmen will sell you anything.
A shower and shave might help recalibrate. At least it warms the body. But what to eat. Ever been hungry, but not for anything. Reminds me more of when I was a kid. Oh, the zit is gone. Still working on the minor sore, if that is healing fast. Never had a problem with them, not often. I guess they have just been a humbling reminder that I live in fallen flesh. Not a bad thing, I suppose. Though I am much happier to see it go, taking it's pain and wound with it.
On to... a shower first? In a bit. The heat up a couple of notches while I wake, then the waterworks. Later.
It's not going to happen.
.
.
No worries. The fires within have subsided enough to sleep. I got a few things done. I did what I could without adding any... much... mess. I'll catch it next time around. No complaints. Good night, and day.
.
No worries. The fires within have subsided enough to sleep. I got a few things done. I did what I could without adding any... much... mess. I'll catch it next time around. No complaints. Good night, and day.
A difficult day.
.
.
Getting started is the problem. I am impossibly overheating. I turned the furnace as low as I dare. Odd. I checked the drying grains at about... no clue. In any case they felt dry, so I weighed them. Heavy by 36 grams of 500 gram base, I was fine with that. That just filled a quart jar. I then fed sourdoughs. Finally I turned over milk kefir. Late. Was only able to sort one large grain, but it was four times the size of any of the eight I started with. If I want bigger grains... it's a bit of a push, and I'll have to really keep on them.
I also cycled water kefir. I haven't figured how to get it to carbonate right. I keep looking for more information. The thing is, you can't tell a fraud from legit on youtube, and all the variables aren't given. Too hot, cold, brewed too long, not enough sugar, too much. Trial and error. Can't be too far off, the grains are growing.
Little jobs are burning me out. I am not tired, worn. Not much juice in my battery packs and they aren't recharging well or quickly. As well, overheating issues. Very strange. Or not. I may simply have pushed things. I'll keep at things. Perhaps a shower and shave would allow things to break one way or the other. Can't sleep with this heat issue. Later.
.
Getting started is the problem. I am impossibly overheating. I turned the furnace as low as I dare. Odd. I checked the drying grains at about... no clue. In any case they felt dry, so I weighed them. Heavy by 36 grams of 500 gram base, I was fine with that. That just filled a quart jar. I then fed sourdoughs. Finally I turned over milk kefir. Late. Was only able to sort one large grain, but it was four times the size of any of the eight I started with. If I want bigger grains... it's a bit of a push, and I'll have to really keep on them.
I also cycled water kefir. I haven't figured how to get it to carbonate right. I keep looking for more information. The thing is, you can't tell a fraud from legit on youtube, and all the variables aren't given. Too hot, cold, brewed too long, not enough sugar, too much. Trial and error. Can't be too far off, the grains are growing.
Little jobs are burning me out. I am not tired, worn. Not much juice in my battery packs and they aren't recharging well or quickly. As well, overheating issues. Very strange. Or not. I may simply have pushed things. I'll keep at things. Perhaps a shower and shave would allow things to break one way or the other. Can't sleep with this heat issue. Later.
I thought I would remember.
.
.
Midnight? I went down for a nap. Was it 1:00, 11:48, I just can't remember. I slept well enough, if perhaps a bit long for a nap. Needed, wanted, done. It will take a bit to wake. But then I will be hitting the table finally, and floors. Which means dishes. Everything on the table was clean when put there. Time has a way of changing states. I should have space, now, for the clutter. The vacuum sealer and bags, and other things, can go onto the new shelving, canning jars odds and ends can go into the carts. I'll have to make room for soup bowls which have been haunting the table. Cleared, clean, and kept that way.
A shower and shave will be my reward. Then to clear anything remaining on the floor, then sweep and mop. Then to figure out the hall and back porch floors. Tools, junk, stuff, sorted, restored, organized elsewhere, or tossed. It took all week to get to the table. I'll enjoy this. When will it will actually be finished? I am hoping today. But when I remove things, I mean anything I move to have a permanent new home. And I tend to get sidetracked on larger, more complex, fiddly jobs, of which this could be the poster child. And that is assuming I can get back to work. I have been pushing.
The clock says 4:07, and I am overheating. A big jug of cold tea, turn the furnace to 68, then chill a bit, in hopes of digging in before long. Later.
.
Midnight? I went down for a nap. Was it 1:00, 11:48, I just can't remember. I slept well enough, if perhaps a bit long for a nap. Needed, wanted, done. It will take a bit to wake. But then I will be hitting the table finally, and floors. Which means dishes. Everything on the table was clean when put there. Time has a way of changing states. I should have space, now, for the clutter. The vacuum sealer and bags, and other things, can go onto the new shelving, canning jars odds and ends can go into the carts. I'll have to make room for soup bowls which have been haunting the table. Cleared, clean, and kept that way.
A shower and shave will be my reward. Then to clear anything remaining on the floor, then sweep and mop. Then to figure out the hall and back porch floors. Tools, junk, stuff, sorted, restored, organized elsewhere, or tossed. It took all week to get to the table. I'll enjoy this. When will it will actually be finished? I am hoping today. But when I remove things, I mean anything I move to have a permanent new home. And I tend to get sidetracked on larger, more complex, fiddly jobs, of which this could be the poster child. And that is assuming I can get back to work. I have been pushing.
The clock says 4:07, and I am overheating. A big jug of cold tea, turn the furnace to 68, then chill a bit, in hopes of digging in before long. Later.
Wednesday, March 14, 2018
Thoughts while dining.
.
.
Chicken. A very good meal. The idea was more after dinner, while cleaning my fingernails. Actually, that latter was the point. It seems as if that could be an issue in a major calamity, nail care. On second thought perhaps not. At one time, before hardened metal, perhaps. I have to believe people occasionally died from nail problems leading to infections. Now I doubt there is a home without access to a dozen knives, plus many other items to clean, maybe cut, nails.
However, depending on the type and severity of a disaster... No, steel or even softer metals, are here to stay. It would take a near extinction level problem for metals to be more or less lost. Too few to produce food in trade for mining, forging, and such. Even then, for some long time, there would be remnants. Imagine stumbling into a rural Cabela's. You probably couldn't carry it all, especially with what else you'd be grabbing.
Just an odd thought. And gratitude for the world we live in. It does make me wonder how much would be lost, how fast, from tools to knowledge. I think surprises would happen both ways for each group. Yeah, just thinking while consuming what would have been a rare treat, animal protein, and lots of it, for my class and not that long ago. Then cleaning my nails while remaining comfortably stably warm without having to carry or sort fuel, or manage a fire. Heck, I'm thirsty, and don't need a creek or well. Thank God every day.
A guy in my condition at almost any time in history would not make it. That I make it, is that right or wrong? I think it was always hoped, just not at the expense of the young. If my survival isn't the problem. Their problem is there are too few of them with too much burden, from ungrateful parents and grandparents.
Nap time? Later.
.
Chicken. A very good meal. The idea was more after dinner, while cleaning my fingernails. Actually, that latter was the point. It seems as if that could be an issue in a major calamity, nail care. On second thought perhaps not. At one time, before hardened metal, perhaps. I have to believe people occasionally died from nail problems leading to infections. Now I doubt there is a home without access to a dozen knives, plus many other items to clean, maybe cut, nails.
However, depending on the type and severity of a disaster... No, steel or even softer metals, are here to stay. It would take a near extinction level problem for metals to be more or less lost. Too few to produce food in trade for mining, forging, and such. Even then, for some long time, there would be remnants. Imagine stumbling into a rural Cabela's. You probably couldn't carry it all, especially with what else you'd be grabbing.
Just an odd thought. And gratitude for the world we live in. It does make me wonder how much would be lost, how fast, from tools to knowledge. I think surprises would happen both ways for each group. Yeah, just thinking while consuming what would have been a rare treat, animal protein, and lots of it, for my class and not that long ago. Then cleaning my nails while remaining comfortably stably warm without having to carry or sort fuel, or manage a fire. Heck, I'm thirsty, and don't need a creek or well. Thank God every day.
A guy in my condition at almost any time in history would not make it. That I make it, is that right or wrong? I think it was always hoped, just not at the expense of the young. If my survival isn't the problem. Their problem is there are too few of them with too much burden, from ungrateful parents and grandparents.
Nap time? Later.
Sleep was dizzyingly deep.
.
.
I must be pushing the far edges of my capacity. I am sleeping so deeply my lungs ache a bit when I wake. As well, I am literally a bit dizzy. I can, oddly, still pop out of bed and go to things. I think I went down around noon. I just woke around 19:30. A little tight today, I won't be doing as much.
The bread didn't work out, if I know why. I used half regular spelt and half sprouted, which would have been fine. I used all regular spelt last time. The problem is I didn't give the sourdough enough time to work (at least) on the regular spelt. I believe it probably needs just as long for sprouted wheats, if that needs to be confirmed (not for phytic(sp?) acid, but for leavening). Fine, it's a learning process. I just hadn't expected it to call for so much flour. In my exhaustion and hurry I took the easy rout. Learn best by loss. *toss*
Next I Checked the sprouting whole regular wheat. The shoots must have just popped, perfect. Into the dehydrator. I have two sorts of tray inserts, I tried the whole sheets last time, the perforated this time. The whole sheets are the better. The berries can fall through wet, more so dried. At 2:00 I would like to remove and weigh, then, in theory, every two hours after, until pre and post mass parity. I may set up another batch. This test sample isn't enough to use for a loaf.
Oh, how rude! I'll bet it's been five years since I've had a zit. On the left side of my bottom lip. It's one of those that doesn't lend itself well to evacuation. Did what I could, now just a red swollen mound, glaring at me, daring me to hurt it, and me, more. I probably will, until it dies or goes away. I don't mind the pain.
Today? The kitchen. Ribs if they are still good. Perhaps putting the kitchen carts together, and an umbrella stand. If the carts are assembled, I'll put them into use. Generally a easy day. I'm not going to push and shove. A shower and shave though. Yeah. A really good week so far. Not everything I wanted, if more than I realized needed to be done was done and more than I had a right to hope was completed. Can't knock it. Even with only winning some, losing or tossing the rest.
First, a bit of time to more fully wake. Dizziness is passing, a mild headache is replacing it. Later.
.
I must be pushing the far edges of my capacity. I am sleeping so deeply my lungs ache a bit when I wake. As well, I am literally a bit dizzy. I can, oddly, still pop out of bed and go to things. I think I went down around noon. I just woke around 19:30. A little tight today, I won't be doing as much.
The bread didn't work out, if I know why. I used half regular spelt and half sprouted, which would have been fine. I used all regular spelt last time. The problem is I didn't give the sourdough enough time to work (at least) on the regular spelt. I believe it probably needs just as long for sprouted wheats, if that needs to be confirmed (not for phytic(sp?) acid, but for leavening). Fine, it's a learning process. I just hadn't expected it to call for so much flour. In my exhaustion and hurry I took the easy rout. Learn best by loss. *toss*
Next I Checked the sprouting whole regular wheat. The shoots must have just popped, perfect. Into the dehydrator. I have two sorts of tray inserts, I tried the whole sheets last time, the perforated this time. The whole sheets are the better. The berries can fall through wet, more so dried. At 2:00 I would like to remove and weigh, then, in theory, every two hours after, until pre and post mass parity. I may set up another batch. This test sample isn't enough to use for a loaf.
Oh, how rude! I'll bet it's been five years since I've had a zit. On the left side of my bottom lip. It's one of those that doesn't lend itself well to evacuation. Did what I could, now just a red swollen mound, glaring at me, daring me to hurt it, and me, more. I probably will, until it dies or goes away. I don't mind the pain.
Today? The kitchen. Ribs if they are still good. Perhaps putting the kitchen carts together, and an umbrella stand. If the carts are assembled, I'll put them into use. Generally a easy day. I'm not going to push and shove. A shower and shave though. Yeah. A really good week so far. Not everything I wanted, if more than I realized needed to be done was done and more than I had a right to hope was completed. Can't knock it. Even with only winning some, losing or tossing the rest.
First, a bit of time to more fully wake. Dizziness is passing, a mild headache is replacing it. Later.
The bread is in.
.
.
Forty minutes, or so they say. As is becoming the norm, it is baking inside a cast dutch oven, with the lid on for the first thirty minutes. I did three things differently, only two of which I will repeat at least with this recipe. I used a banneton, a linen covered basket, meant to shape the loaf. It is too sticky of a dough. Perhaps with parchment? Maybe. Next, following instructions, I turned the oven to 500, heating the cast parts as well. Then, as I was putting the loaf in, I sprayed water in, to create steam, which is supposed to allow the bread extra time to rise. Oh, I added a natural salt to the dough, so four new things. It's actually a bit severe, working with a 500 F oven. It is turned down to 450, if even that is tight. Had thought to return to my nap, but... no.
This time I will let it reach room temperature before slicing. Though it seemed to do just fine. I simply want to at least try it the "right" way. Now, I really don't know how to properly store bread. I know the refrigerator, for me, is out. The freezer might work, but only for whole loaf storage, if not preferred. Plastic bags don't seem good, if paper bags don't seem to serve better. They used to sell bread boxes, tin or such. I wonder if those proved no better or if people just went to such commercial bread that it didn't matter? As well, beside salt, are there any other natural preservatives? I am not sure salt works that way with bread? Many questions. Too many. I'll stop until I get some of those sorted.
I really wanted to go back to sleep. Beside the oven being so hot, I wasn't sure I'd wake next time. It's dark, it has rained. It may rain again. Killer sleeping weather, in more ways than one while using an oven at a ferocious temperature. I'll sleep through the cooling of the loaf. The timer, to remove the lid. * Ugh, it doesn't look even close to done. Just keep baking. Smells good.
Ah, cooking sprouted wheats... I realized what I bit the last time. Pepper, not wheat. I was confused because the pepper isn't giving off much flavor, a bit old? Shouldn't be, but you know sales these days. Did a similar thing with the mashed potatoes, a hard bite that disappeared. Knew it wasn't potatoes, so stopped and sorted. Anyway, something else? When I cook wheat, from now on, it'll only be right after sproting it. I can always put it up for later. Not this time, I am wotking to get the drying time more exact, to that end all wheat must remain.
Beeper went off. More done than it seemed. Still... oven off, ten more minutes, then the cooling rack and sleeping rack, per. Later.
.
Forty minutes, or so they say. As is becoming the norm, it is baking inside a cast dutch oven, with the lid on for the first thirty minutes. I did three things differently, only two of which I will repeat at least with this recipe. I used a banneton, a linen covered basket, meant to shape the loaf. It is too sticky of a dough. Perhaps with parchment? Maybe. Next, following instructions, I turned the oven to 500, heating the cast parts as well. Then, as I was putting the loaf in, I sprayed water in, to create steam, which is supposed to allow the bread extra time to rise. Oh, I added a natural salt to the dough, so four new things. It's actually a bit severe, working with a 500 F oven. It is turned down to 450, if even that is tight. Had thought to return to my nap, but... no.
This time I will let it reach room temperature before slicing. Though it seemed to do just fine. I simply want to at least try it the "right" way. Now, I really don't know how to properly store bread. I know the refrigerator, for me, is out. The freezer might work, but only for whole loaf storage, if not preferred. Plastic bags don't seem good, if paper bags don't seem to serve better. They used to sell bread boxes, tin or such. I wonder if those proved no better or if people just went to such commercial bread that it didn't matter? As well, beside salt, are there any other natural preservatives? I am not sure salt works that way with bread? Many questions. Too many. I'll stop until I get some of those sorted.
I really wanted to go back to sleep. Beside the oven being so hot, I wasn't sure I'd wake next time. It's dark, it has rained. It may rain again. Killer sleeping weather, in more ways than one while using an oven at a ferocious temperature. I'll sleep through the cooling of the loaf. The timer, to remove the lid. * Ugh, it doesn't look even close to done. Just keep baking. Smells good.
Ah, cooking sprouted wheats... I realized what I bit the last time. Pepper, not wheat. I was confused because the pepper isn't giving off much flavor, a bit old? Shouldn't be, but you know sales these days. Did a similar thing with the mashed potatoes, a hard bite that disappeared. Knew it wasn't potatoes, so stopped and sorted. Anyway, something else? When I cook wheat, from now on, it'll only be right after sproting it. I can always put it up for later. Not this time, I am wotking to get the drying time more exact, to that end all wheat must remain.
Beeper went off. More done than it seemed. Still... oven off, ten more minutes, then the cooling rack and sleeping rack, per. Later.
Bits more.
.
.
With dinner finished, and some time for digestion, food was put up. I'd hate to waste it, even the breast meat was juicy. Then to dishes. While doing those I washed the northern counters and stove top. I worked in the oven a bit. It has some new-fangled cleaning system. Manual? I probably know where it is. I also "probably" don't want to read it. Yep, vid. Uh-hmm. Put in two cups of water, push a button, wait forty minutes. Well heck, I can do that. Done, now what?
No high heat. I do have to remove the water and gunk. It doesn't turn it to ash as others. Then again I'm not as worried about leaving it. I need to clean the dutch oven and get bread dough going. I am going to just use the einkorn recipe. After looking at several solid recipe books for bread, and other sources, it is a standard solid general whole wheat bread (any kind of whole wheat) sourdough recipe.
While I was at it, and reviewing wheats in the general cooking, baking, and else kitchen bible, I did get clarification on some various wheats. Okay... ferra is an Italian strain of spelt. It is slightly different, if I can't remember how. As to emmer wheat? That is how the English, British, translate ferro. Now, as loose as things are over there, I'd lay bottles to buttons that emmer, spelt, and ferro are completely synonymous. *takes a breath* So, while none of them are einkorn, Einhorn is still Finkle!
Now I can find emmer and farro, but at $5 a pound, when spelt is $2.50? And they really are the same things. Still, good to know.
I had been planning a nap. When I finish the dutch oven, get the dough going, and perhaps finish the regular oven, I will probably try to sack out a bit. Then shower, shave, and bake when I wake. Then, perhaps, finish the kitchen... or the planned parts. Later.
-----------
Forgot to post, or the click didn't cycle. Anyway... done.
The Maytag aquaclean isn't good. If you drop something in the bottom? Super. The sides or top? Not so much. Now I should have done this long ago, if too, my oven gets a quarter or less typical use. I doubt if the clean cycle is used monthly, which would be the equivalent, in normal homes. Still, I may give it a few more tries before finding out what real other users do when this "green" (fail) system does as all "green" systems do. By the way, hows that pipeline Mass? Oh, right, you greened it away and are buying from Russians, at bitches prices.
I am giving the dough an half hour to absorb more water, then mix it again, then I'll nap. Quite a show going on.
.
With dinner finished, and some time for digestion, food was put up. I'd hate to waste it, even the breast meat was juicy. Then to dishes. While doing those I washed the northern counters and stove top. I worked in the oven a bit. It has some new-fangled cleaning system. Manual? I probably know where it is. I also "probably" don't want to read it. Yep, vid. Uh-hmm. Put in two cups of water, push a button, wait forty minutes. Well heck, I can do that. Done, now what?
No high heat. I do have to remove the water and gunk. It doesn't turn it to ash as others. Then again I'm not as worried about leaving it. I need to clean the dutch oven and get bread dough going. I am going to just use the einkorn recipe. After looking at several solid recipe books for bread, and other sources, it is a standard solid general whole wheat bread (any kind of whole wheat) sourdough recipe.
While I was at it, and reviewing wheats in the general cooking, baking, and else kitchen bible, I did get clarification on some various wheats. Okay... ferra is an Italian strain of spelt. It is slightly different, if I can't remember how. As to emmer wheat? That is how the English, British, translate ferro. Now, as loose as things are over there, I'd lay bottles to buttons that emmer, spelt, and ferro are completely synonymous. *takes a breath* So, while none of them are einkorn, Einhorn is still Finkle!
Now I can find emmer and farro, but at $5 a pound, when spelt is $2.50? And they really are the same things. Still, good to know.
I had been planning a nap. When I finish the dutch oven, get the dough going, and perhaps finish the regular oven, I will probably try to sack out a bit. Then shower, shave, and bake when I wake. Then, perhaps, finish the kitchen... or the planned parts. Later.
-----------
Forgot to post, or the click didn't cycle. Anyway... done.
The Maytag aquaclean isn't good. If you drop something in the bottom? Super. The sides or top? Not so much. Now I should have done this long ago, if too, my oven gets a quarter or less typical use. I doubt if the clean cycle is used monthly, which would be the equivalent, in normal homes. Still, I may give it a few more tries before finding out what real other users do when this "green" (fail) system does as all "green" systems do. By the way, hows that pipeline Mass? Oh, right, you greened it away and are buying from Russians, at bitches prices.
I am giving the dough an half hour to absorb more water, then mix it again, then I'll nap. Quite a show going on.
Tuesday, March 13, 2018
Not speedy.
.
.
At least I have been on it right out of the gate. I can't recall what I have done, beside starting dinner. I know I finished, perhaps, a quarter of the plan. Then hunger took over. All in spite of never having quite awaken. Then on to dinner. Chicken, roasted over slices of rutabaga, with herbed butter strategically placed at various junctures under the skin. As well, mashed potatoes. Honest to God, from peeled, mashed, potatoes. I'll check the chicken quick. I'm guessing another half hour. I'll check in fifteen. Drats, forgot garlic cloves in with the butter.
More dishes? Well, mostly new stuff. Some truly new new, some I am just sorting up to the wash list. And of course, supper. Hmm, I might sweep while waiting for food. Then move a few containers back to soap making station. After the meal I'd like to hit dishes, then the stove and kitchen table. Then start the bread? Sure. I found the recipe I'll be using. Gah, wait, that's for einkorn. Spelt is more similar to einkorn than modern wheat, and yet I wouldn't want to bet my success on it.
Slogging through, and just, this day. Kewl. I'll make it. Later.
-----------
Quite good. Something about a rounded meal that makes it better. Perhaps too many carbs starches. And, yet, for the rarity I don't mind. I was definitely hungry. A young small bird, yet half consumed. I think I'll have another bit of potatoes and slice of rutabaga. It may not be a king's dinner. But luckily I am no king of this world and I believe I am more rightly fed for it. And dishes are almost done, sweeping was finished, plus the equipment was stored in it's right area, all before I started my meal. I am getting there.
Hmm? Oh, the surfaces, stove, oven, and table top? Yes. If first finding a spelt bread recipe, then getting that dough started. I may let that rise just once and bake it yet tonight. Can't say I'm not swinging at the pitches. Later.
.
At least I have been on it right out of the gate. I can't recall what I have done, beside starting dinner. I know I finished, perhaps, a quarter of the plan. Then hunger took over. All in spite of never having quite awaken. Then on to dinner. Chicken, roasted over slices of rutabaga, with herbed butter strategically placed at various junctures under the skin. As well, mashed potatoes. Honest to God, from peeled, mashed, potatoes. I'll check the chicken quick. I'm guessing another half hour. I'll check in fifteen. Drats, forgot garlic cloves in with the butter.
More dishes? Well, mostly new stuff. Some truly new new, some I am just sorting up to the wash list. And of course, supper. Hmm, I might sweep while waiting for food. Then move a few containers back to soap making station. After the meal I'd like to hit dishes, then the stove and kitchen table. Then start the bread? Sure. I found the recipe I'll be using. Gah, wait, that's for einkorn. Spelt is more similar to einkorn than modern wheat, and yet I wouldn't want to bet my success on it.
Slogging through, and just, this day. Kewl. I'll make it. Later.
-----------
Quite good. Something about a rounded meal that makes it better. Perhaps too many carbs starches. And, yet, for the rarity I don't mind. I was definitely hungry. A young small bird, yet half consumed. I think I'll have another bit of potatoes and slice of rutabaga. It may not be a king's dinner. But luckily I am no king of this world and I believe I am more rightly fed for it. And dishes are almost done, sweeping was finished, plus the equipment was stored in it's right area, all before I started my meal. I am getting there.
Hmm? Oh, the surfaces, stove, oven, and table top? Yes. If first finding a spelt bread recipe, then getting that dough started. I may let that rise just once and bake it yet tonight. Can't say I'm not swinging at the pitches. Later.
Awake. Too early.
.
.
Not in bad shape for it. I hope I can get a nap in later though. I was awake until 11:40 or so. No real choice, took a bit to gear down. Slept well when I could sleep. Waking at 17:30, 18:15? Somewhere in there. Not enough sleep, even if I currently mostly feel fine eyes are a bit dry and tired. All good. A bit of waking, then I'll get back to work. Again, if I work, it's not because I want to work, but because I can. If I can I will. Some are like that, some aren't.
What today? In no particular order, not including dailies (kefirs, sourdoughs, cat litter): a shower and shave; putting up the dishes, all were washed... all; setting up bread dough; sweeping the bathroom again, didn't do it right, too tired; already drained the regular wheat that is sprouting, need to keep an eye on it (500 grams); perhaps another load of laundry; clearing the kitchen table and moving some things out; mopping; and of course food in there. All of it? It's possible, you warthog faced buffoon. Just don't get pushy. I've been mostly dead at least all day. But what the hey?
I think I'll roast a chicken for dinner. I should open that up and brine it. That just helps. Hmm, and herb butter? I have never loosened the skin, putting herbed butter and garlic in the divide. I've heard of it, just didn't want to get that intimate with the fowl before. Times they are a changing, if it isn't personal, certainly not romantic. That would be foul! I am not sure what would go with it, what I have on hand. I'll get something going.
Not bad. I thought I'd be further along. There was more in the way, distractions, and asides. I am satisfied with where I am, what I have done, given health and the vagaries reality brings to the best of plans. A few years ago, and if through an additional illness months ago, this workload was impossible. I'll take it, if also attempt to streamline, maximize, enhance, expand. Bringing order through chaos, or the reverse depending on need and day. Amen.
.
Not in bad shape for it. I hope I can get a nap in later though. I was awake until 11:40 or so. No real choice, took a bit to gear down. Slept well when I could sleep. Waking at 17:30, 18:15? Somewhere in there. Not enough sleep, even if I currently mostly feel fine eyes are a bit dry and tired. All good. A bit of waking, then I'll get back to work. Again, if I work, it's not because I want to work, but because I can. If I can I will. Some are like that, some aren't.
What today? In no particular order, not including dailies (kefirs, sourdoughs, cat litter): a shower and shave; putting up the dishes, all were washed... all; setting up bread dough; sweeping the bathroom again, didn't do it right, too tired; already drained the regular wheat that is sprouting, need to keep an eye on it (500 grams); perhaps another load of laundry; clearing the kitchen table and moving some things out; mopping; and of course food in there. All of it? It's possible, you warthog faced buffoon. Just don't get pushy. I've been mostly dead at least all day. But what the hey?
I think I'll roast a chicken for dinner. I should open that up and brine it. That just helps. Hmm, and herb butter? I have never loosened the skin, putting herbed butter and garlic in the divide. I've heard of it, just didn't want to get that intimate with the fowl before. Times they are a changing, if it isn't personal, certainly not romantic. That would be foul! I am not sure what would go with it, what I have on hand. I'll get something going.
Not bad. I thought I'd be further along. There was more in the way, distractions, and asides. I am satisfied with where I am, what I have done, given health and the vagaries reality brings to the best of plans. A few years ago, and if through an additional illness months ago, this workload was impossible. I'll take it, if also attempt to streamline, maximize, enhance, expand. Bringing order through chaos, or the reverse depending on need and day. Amen.
Plans?
.
.
I know there were plans. Dishes and else. I sort of lost track and kept doing when possible. Dishes, the first sets, done. Laundry, could only pull one load together, that is in the dryer. Sourdoughs have been fed. I am going to set up bread tomorrow, probably. I still need to sweep and set the oat pail for use. More and more tea! I must be going through that at a record pace, I am barely keeping cold available with solid effort and an gallon and an half reserve!
Dinner, of course. The berries did well with the burger-sausage. Long cook time, if you aren't in a hurry, goodie. Which went well with cabbage, and butter. Only advise, don't try to chew food with the wheat in it using your front teeth, and actually, generally, don't chow down. I have strong teeth, what of them I haven't eaten. I wouldn't bet on most people not chipping a tooth. I drink a lot of milk, plus use cream and butter like a king. My bones are... solid... even without that. Just a word to the wise. It was just at one angle, couldn't find it after. Thought I bit a rock!
A few more things. Dinner dishes, oats, sweeping, a shower then shave if possible. I don't know if that would complete the previous list. I won't promise it will get done. It is merely what my mind contrives as tasks remaining. Later, or good night. Perhaps an update if all goes well(er(tm)).
-----------
Lost awake asleep. Most of it is done. Had hoped to do more, and more again. Done.
But..?
I know I am not this one, but I do know this one. It's a start. A dark old friend. Once thought a master, until he didn't serve. Then he was set against all. There is some hope he will serve as a master yet. Either way, he will be the vehicle of at least one of the four horsemen. Or, so a little birdy chirps.
Good night.
.
I know there were plans. Dishes and else. I sort of lost track and kept doing when possible. Dishes, the first sets, done. Laundry, could only pull one load together, that is in the dryer. Sourdoughs have been fed. I am going to set up bread tomorrow, probably. I still need to sweep and set the oat pail for use. More and more tea! I must be going through that at a record pace, I am barely keeping cold available with solid effort and an gallon and an half reserve!
Dinner, of course. The berries did well with the burger-sausage. Long cook time, if you aren't in a hurry, goodie. Which went well with cabbage, and butter. Only advise, don't try to chew food with the wheat in it using your front teeth, and actually, generally, don't chow down. I have strong teeth, what of them I haven't eaten. I wouldn't bet on most people not chipping a tooth. I drink a lot of milk, plus use cream and butter like a king. My bones are... solid... even without that. Just a word to the wise. It was just at one angle, couldn't find it after. Thought I bit a rock!
A few more things. Dinner dishes, oats, sweeping, a shower then shave if possible. I don't know if that would complete the previous list. I won't promise it will get done. It is merely what my mind contrives as tasks remaining. Later, or good night. Perhaps an update if all goes well(er(tm)).
-----------
Lost awake asleep. Most of it is done. Had hoped to do more, and more again. Done.
But..?
I know I am not this one, but I do know this one. It's a start. A dark old friend. Once thought a master, until he didn't serve. Then he was set against all. There is some hope he will serve as a master yet. Either way, he will be the vehicle of at least one of the four horsemen. Or, so a little birdy chirps.
Good night.
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