Ran into a headwind.

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Supper was it.  Well, almost.  I did get the trash to the curb.  And recycling.  I didn't get the recycling, inside, collected to be put out.  Done, that way.  But I got what was out to the curb, as with trash.  No more dishes, no shower, no shave, no laundry.  No chicken set up.  Yet.  That might still happen, or not.  I am holding on to get the waterers heated, and out.

The waterers from yesterday are still out.  Wouldn't you know?  It got below freezing, so those are probably useless.  Heated, they should last until it warms.  And I'll let the ducks out.  So... really... I need to be awake another hour or so.  Bleh.  I may go ahead and feed the rabbits too.  Morning, earlier, is their preferred time.  I haven't been good for it lately.  Today.

That was a very good meal.  I really needed real food.  Nuts and kefir only go just so far.  Soup would really help out a bit as well.  New veggies are needed.  I had to toss things.  They could have slid by, but I hate using dated in fresh.  If it's all dated, yea, sure, whatever.  But not old veggies in new stew.  After one runs out, I'll either make more meat crumble, or do a roast of one sort or another... unless I have pork chops... that would be a good change.  Well, and liver... or kidneys this time?  Right.

I am feeling better, doing better.  I think it's just the cold, and seeming dark.  Even on nearly cloudless days, there is something that makes it dark.  Darker.  Well, and back to slightly cooler weather, that doesn't help.  Why do I say I am better then?  No pain.  An ache, once in a while.  But not constant, deep, even subconscious, pain.  It's just, mostly, gone, most of the time.  I don't feel great, but I don't hurt.  I sleep well, wake well, it's just my run time, speed, and torque are low.  Better than months, though, come to think of it.  It's just, when I improve a bit, I... try to own the mountains.  I'm not young, healthy, but waking I... try to jump to as if my real life was as short as my remembered life.  Like Rip Van Winkle, was it?  The man who slept twenty years?  My life was stolen by sleep I couldn't escape.  My odometer reads 30~40, my birth certificate disproves that.

Anyway... up a bit longer, chores, and probably just to bed.  I put the casserole away.  I don't think I'll mess with the chicken, especially since it can be cooked, frozen, in half an hour with the instapot.  Good night though.  I won't be back.  Barely keeping at it, but will make it to chores. 

The casserole was everything I had hoped.

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By eye, I was able to tell when it was done.  It took an hour, but there was a lot in there... sixteen eggs, an cup and more of heavy cream, half a large onion, a pound and more of cheese, and... say... four to six ounces of sliced and diced peperoni.  Oh, with bacon on top.  Actually I gave it a little extra, to melt the munster cheese slices I added when I considered it mostly done... so one hour ten minutes.

It was a soufflé.  It was puffed, the first portion.  Though it shrank quickly, as did the whole casserole.  Still, it... was a pleasure.  Spiced correctly, no need for added salt.  Sweetened by the red onion, that contrasted with the spice and peperoni.  It was almost a dessert somehow.  The house smells like I made sweet rolls or something.  

I cut the thing into fifths one way, then in half the other.  I ate a fifth, all told.  Though from now on, I think a tenth and a time will be plenty.  Letting it cool before putting it up.  Trash out first, after I digest.  Then whatever else is possible.  Ducks are in, if I didn't mention.  Bits at a time.  Food, though, was really needed.  Hopefully I'll get to chicken yet tonight.

Later or good night.  Yes, I need to chatter, once in a while, when trying to get things done.  Even if I am chattering to shadows, myself, the girls, or an invisible people who may or may not read when they visit.  It helps, to seem to share plans, ideas, successes, and failures.  Keeps me on better track.  Later, as mentioned.  Or good night.

Odd what shows up on my doorstep.

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From my viewing, potentially, to yours.  Enjoy.  Or go away.

That will be a dandy egg casserole.

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Eggs, cream, onion, garlic, diced peperoni, cheddar and parmesan inside, bacon slices on top, and, when it is nearly finished, munster cheese slices on top.  It should be quite good.  Not much else done.

I think I will get more done.  And I will probably get to bed early.  I think I will do the trash, and at least get recycling out.  Then a shower, which means dishes have to be done.  But they are pretty much ready.  Prep was needed for food, so that area wasn't open to dry and set out.  There aren't many, it... will get done.  As well, I would really like to get the chicken in the instapot, and let it cook, and cook, for the morning.  Or... whatever morning turns out to be.

I will put the ducks in... should have already... lost track.  The waterers I am leaving out.  As much because I think they will stay thawed as because I am wearing thin.  Getting things done, if doing so half sideways.  It's a trick, but it... some of it... is getting done.  This egg casserole, and more the soup if I can get that done too, will keep me in food, and away from major splurges.  Oh, I'll take a dietary spill, from time to time, but less frequently when well fed.  And less drastically.  That chicken soup really is good.  Even when food begins to lose it's draw.  Something about it, and beef stew too.  Oh, and now that I know how to do a keto roux?  Yes, I think menudo might end up perfected.  Tricks may be needed, but that is half of the job of the cook.

Ugh...  Best shut the ducks in and close that all down for the night.  Later, or good night.

A bit more, a bit closer.

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Dishes were given a first round.  Then eggs were checked.  I used the oldest I have.  One floater, the rest nestled at the bottom of the bowl of water.  An dozen and half, they are small eggs.  I won't complain, they are still fresh after... a while.  Might as well use them up.  I fed the girls, for the third time today.  They are both starving marvens!  Weather changes?  Just one of those days?  I... will feed them later, if still awake and they begin meow-begging again.  I... understand.  Not every day, but sometimes.

The cooking and processing area was set up.  Onions and garlic were set out to be chopped.  Cheese will stay in until time.  What else might there be?  Oh, peperonis, and... perhaps cauliflower and broccoli?  Parmesan as well as cheddar.  The trick is to add enough for variety and taste, but not so much that it's too busy.  I'm still learning on that score.

I plan to beat the eggs fairly well, adding cream, then just mixing the cheeses and sliced and diced bits of meat and veggies.  I love playing with my food.  I wish I could eat is as much as I loved working it?  I'll get it, and figure things out.  In the meantime, I have had another kefir, this time with berries, blended well.  I do love that stuff.  The jug I put in earlier was cool enough already... given the frozen state of the fruit.  I think one of the jugs which was out fermenting is ready to go into the fridge.  I add a touch of milk, to top it off and give the cultures just a bit to eat for a day or two.  It usually works.  Gotta keep the the cap loose though.

After I get the egg casserole in, and clear and clean from that, it will be time to finish dishes so as to begin on the chicken hindquarters, then stock from that.  Food will be quite good for a few days, probably the week.  So hungry, and so... not hungry.  All this work and I really am not feeling it.  No, it's as good as any other food, mostly.  It's, just... I wouldn't even be all that excited about a pizza, or beans and burger currently.  Just... not hungry.  Still, I'll keep at it.  Later.

 

A slow, pleasant, evening.

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I would like it to pick up.  We will see.  Pistachios, and tea.  Not enough.  but it will stall any wipeout.  I need something a bit more.  I have good eggs, and I have storebought.  I don't have enough good eggs for a larger casserole, but I do have enough storebought.  Not perfect, but they are cage-free.  I avoid "organic" if possible.

A portion of the remaining bacon, the cream cheese I had out for soufflés, cream to add a bit more fat... bring the macros up, onion because duh, as well as garlic, cheddar and parmesan.  Anything else?  Perhaps some peperoni chips, just because?  Diced and added.  Not a lot, just enough to add that unique flavor.  Actually, not much of anything will be added.  Just enough to so that each is in every other, or every third, bite.  Then mixed and baked.  Yes, I think that will do.  Well, pepper, less salt than needed but enough to begin getting some salt in it... can't salt from done and get good results... too one dimensional.

Yes.  And that would feed me for several days, maybe a week.  Fresh greens, tomorrow, to put it on.  As well, salsa to put on it... and guacamole.  Depending on the bank.  And, yet, if I can finish the dishes, I would like to cook frozen hindquarters in the instapot.  For just thighs, frozen, six, it takes 20 minutes.  For the whole hindquarter, frozen, I am betting 30~35 minutes.

Then I will let those cool, strip the meat, put the bones back in... with various this and that... and let it run for a few hours.  Just a bit more stock for soup.  I won't do a full eight quarts, more like five or six... six with the bones?  No, five quarts would be safer.  I still need to pull more stock out, then make soup later, as well.  That is so very filling.  And it is cool enough still to enjoy.

It was 45 F, outside, after a check.  I decided to close up the home and turn the furnace up to 66 F.  The house is 66, so it won't even run.  And, 66 is starting to feel rather... nice.  I am enjoying the last of the cool before spring or summer try hitting hard.  Bit by piece by part, I am trying to arrange for a soft landing into that.  Who knows, this year... an hundred fifty days of blistering heat or another single month summer.  It's... all good... better if it stays consistent.  Variations confuse my body.

Anyway... just thoughts.  I'll try to get going before too long.  Good evening.  Later, probably.

Eating has become... difficult.

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No, not chewing.  More being motivated enough to go cook.  I get hungry, sometimes, sort of.  I want food.  I love the idea of food.  I can taste food, more acutely than ever.  My taste buds have matured to a point where raw kefir tastes sweet, or has a sweetness to or in it.  Raw berries can be enjoyed, sometimes... though a little keto sweetener is good from time to time too.

The flavors and textures of food are better defined in my mind that ever in my life.  A pate, versus a mousse, versus a cooked liver are as plainly different to me as an ice cream to a sorbet, a mild lemon versus lime, an apple cider vinegar to a white or wine vinegar.  I am not a virtuoso in the kitchen.  But I can put a reasonable meal together.

Meats to fish, root vegetables to greens, sprouting grasses to grains, fermentation to dehydrating, and learning as I go.  Not just for taste, if that is part of the aim, I too have become a minor nutritionist.  I am learning to balance macros, calories, flavors, various foods, and products to tend as well as sustain my flesh.  I do passing well, at least in theory.  My body and it's limits provide limits.  As well, reality.  No one can do everything.  A woman to cover my weaknesses, or add to my strengths, would surely help.  Even then, limits... just fewer of them.

Still, after all the learning, practice, obtaining of tools, collecting of special foods, deciphering of recipes, experience with my own body and with the various concoctions, chemical reactions, solutions, and else... I... find myself rarely hungry!  I have to push to eat.  Oh, if I want to eat?  I can.  Certain foods will drive me to near... even into... gluttony.  Carbs are what alcohol used to be.  A rare delight which drove me deeper into itself, until I burned out.  Then a wait until next time.

If I go too long without eating enough, a switch turns on.  My body commands that I eat.  My will is broken, and I will make a pan of beans, if usually adding burger and cheese.  A loaf of bread, or two, to eat with it.  And, often, I will make enough for a day or two of eats.  Much as with spaghetti and meat sauce recently.  So?  So I do my damnedest to keep ahead of that killswitch.  Which... means... I need to get food.  I need to eat a lot of food, soon.  Nuts only go so far, but they help.  Soufflés will do well, but the little baking dishes are gone.  I used to have half a dozen to a score.  Gone.  I have one remaining.  Not happy about that.  I have glass ramekins, but they don't do so well, shaped like an ice cream cone, so they push up even more... too much more for a safe, easy, right rise.  Ugh.  Still... I better get on it before I dive into carbs.

A short notice.

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Some spammer has been putting up illuminati postings on dozens of my posts.  No real harm or foul, it's just I don't want that type of stuff here.  You can still post, it will be moderated is all.  If you are a real people, even if you hate me and write mean things... probably... if they are reasoned... I will let it go through.  It will just take a bit.  So, don't sweat it if your post doesn't go right through.  It will get there.

Finally awake.

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Strange dreams, lost in the fog of waking.  Nothing bad, but different, as dreams are want to be.  Sleep was good.  I just couldn't get to bed until later... wired from trying to do more work, from finding flour and other ingredients, from cooking new foods.  Yea, like a koala bear, hyped on it's first coca~cola, candy bar, or... girlfriend.  W  o  o  t.  ;p  It was a good night, and is a good morning.

It is 52! F out there!  Of course, it is midafternoon, so.  Still, that isn't bad.  It will mean, in time, I will be able to get work done out there.  Really, 40 was just to chill?  More to get started.  Once I get started, it... almost doesn't matter the temperature.  It's getting started that is the trick.  I really need to get to work out there!  Ugh.

I didn't do another thing.  I will hit dishes and get a shower this morning.  There is good news.  I thought it was Sunday night (again).  Being just Sunday now means I haven't missed trash or possibly recycling.  So the last of the dishes set up, trash and rebagging, soufflés, and bathroom cleaning.  Oh... and that last load of laundry... possibly a second load?  Plus anything else I can sort out.  Breaking down a bunch of boxes would be a good, easy, numb, mindless thing to do.  Sorting packing into boxes as I go.

This month or next, or eventually, I will get a small industrial bin in, like what they have at apartments, and get rid of a lot of stuff.  I have... a quarter to half of one already from upstairs, boxed and ready to go.  I have probably another similar downstairs, filled with dry waste and packing.  If I get everything together that is available, I might actually have one fill ready to go, pretty much immediately.  As well, I have a few static items, chairs and furniture that is rubbish, to go as soon as it is clear.  Though I am not sure they will fit in the bin... might have to go in the back of a truck.  Easy stuff, the bigger one.  A longer and shorter couch, an old mattress and springs (I'll keep the base).  Yes, I could get rid of a lot of clutter, very quickly.  But I want even more ready to go.  I'd like as close to two loads.  Some could be sorted for giving away, though... most is either dated, a bit rough, or just not worth offering.  Going through it for good items would be like finding hens' teeth.

Kefir, first thing.  But that will be it until tomorrow.  One jar is ready, but warm.  It will take at least a day to cool that down.  I have four other jars brewing on the counter.  I have the temp up, temporarily.  Just to warm the waterers... until it hits 60 F out there, I will warm them.  Then I will turn the furnace off, and open up.  It won't help the brewing, but... so be it.  I'll just have to wait.  Love that stuff though.  Later.

Not quite.

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About a quarter of the waffles were spot on.  Even the artificial maple syrup was rather tasty.  If I spent a small fortune on it.  I have another one to try.  I assumed the stuff was a tablespoon serving.  It wasn't enough, if these were rather large waffles.  More and more until I must have had a quarter cup!  But... that did it.  I checked.  No, yep... a serving size is... a quarter cup.  All good.

What wasn't spot on varied from better, to worse, on to scrambled eggs.  It wasn't horrible, it just wasn't waffle.  Still, I ate much of it, and was happy with the beginning of a start into more keto type foods.  There are quite a few recipes out there.  And this was a bastardized one.  So...  I won't quit.  I'd like to try one with coconut and almond flower, perhaps one with carbquik.  The other flours which tend to be keto friendly are more filler, not full use flours.

The dishes from cooking are soaking.  I hope, yet, to finish those, or give them all a good beat down with the wash rag and scrub brush, then get a shower.  It would be awesome to finish those dishes, clean off the counter, and get stock out before bedtime.  It is possible.  It is very late, but... yea.  It is what it is and I am getting things done.  Oh, fill the waterers too, if I haven't already.  Litter?  And any final trash out.  Bleh.  I will be the first to know!

Again with the...  Gosh, you've really got some nice toys here.

The waffle maker warms.

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I also got the dishes to wash.  Well, I will have to add a bowl and a few utensils after I finish.  I... mixed and matched recipes.  Mostly just one, only adding xanthan gum.  I do believe that will work out well.  Guar gum, that, phylum husk, and a few others work nearly interchangeably, as long as there is enough moisture.  I had to add water, the mix was far too thick,  It may still be too thick.  Letting it set for ten minutes, while the griddle heats, will let me know.  Fine... just more waffles!  Too many?  A few in the fridge, as buns for burgers or else.  A few in the freezer, for quick meals in the near future.  Ah... the addition of the gum, that would, may yet, require more water.  Cream won't do it.  I doubt if milk will.  Water.

I won't do the soufflés tonight.  I'll put those eggs back in the reefer.  Only out for a few hours, should be good.  Tomorrow.  Onion, cheese, and maybe peperoni?  Who knows, might as well have fun with it.  I should be dead.  Not only will I walk on my grave, I am going to dance, and have a merry time doing so.  Oh, yes, I am enjoying my little, "short", escape from the grave.

Well, there is the timer.  Later.

I am almost sure.

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Well, it's just an AI, playing.  But... I enjoy.

Bits, pieces... a crawl.

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Doing my best, if that isn't much.  I finally got the last dishes, which had been washed and rinsed, dried and set to air finish.  Before that I put up most of the four ounce jars recently purchased.  I kept six out for pate.  I washed all forty, and their lids, dried them, and that was the bottle-neck for the last day or two... on dishes.  As well, I began deciding what to have for sup-runch?  Whatever.

Oh, I got the ducks in, a fresh pail of water, the waterers in, and have that ready to mess with... whenever.  I was feeling weak.  I couldn't figure it out.  Ah... but I did.  Food.  I had kefir for lun-eakfast.  But that simply didn't have enough energy in it, and my body... needed more.  I tried another, but, yea, no.  A couple ounces of mixed nuts?  I am hoping it will work.

I don't want to ruin a real meal by eating too much.  I am hoping to try waffles and that soufflé recipe.  I do have keto syrup.  It is rather old, but it has been unopened, and in the fridge.  That could be good or bad.  The soufflés will be savory, so there is that.  I will try just a bit, on a tiny piece, before possibly ruining the whole breakfast waffle though.  I am sure, if that fails, I can come up with something.  Perhaps a few drops of my favorite sweetener, some berries, and... cream cheese plus milk to give it some flow?  Or just use butter, and have extra tea.

I plan to bag the trash cans, reset litter, take a shower, perhaps shave... today or tomorrow... as works aside.  As well, I would like to get the dishes finished so as to dig out chicken hindquarters, for the pressure cooker, and thaw chicken stock for chicken soup this week.  Winter isn't over, and there is spring, but I best enjoy hot soup while I can handle it.

Ugh.  So odd.  But, I'll keep doing what I can.  Later.

A few things, slowly.

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I am catching up.  Dishes, from spaghetti, are rinsing.  As well, the jars, for kefir, are rinsing.  Further, I had a pot of soup that went bad.  I have been deciding how best to get rid of it.  Trash?  But so much liquid.  Flush?  Bones, and else.  I even did a search or three in various places.  The soup wasn't horrible, quite yet.  But it was pretty awful.

Without anything to guide, I finally had had enough.  I strained the goo through a big colander, into the toilet, then put the remnants into a doubled trash bag.  I tied that up immediately, and took it out.  Then I flushed the toilet, and put just a tiny bit of bleach into the fresh water.  As soon as I finish the rinsing dishes, I will put the instapot pot and the colander into a very hot soapy wash.  It didn't stick, or make much mess.  It just smells rather off still.  That stuff is potent.

I am hoping tomorrow is warm enough that I can open up.  It did get to 45 F out there today, but it just didn't feel like it.  Still, one major ongoing headache handled.  And trash is out as well.  I really need to bag the smaller house bins, and probably get recycling going.  I don't think tomorrow is recycling, but... I still want it out.  Then I can clean more counters.  A never ending job.

As well, I think I will make a few of those egg and cream cheese soufflés.  I will add cheddar, just a bit.  Really, a little cheese does much better than too much.  And too much always seems like just enough.  Fifteen wisps and that is that.  If I had an apple, I'd pare three dime thick pieces into each.  Hmm... I do have frozen fruit?  Cheese and fruit really go well together.

Sam is begging for something.  But she has fresh water, has been fed and treated often, her litter is good, and she has been up all day.  Not sure what that is about?  I'll... baby her a bit.  She doesn't have a long time to live.  Then again... they have been thinking that about me for decades.  Still do.  *wink*  Besides... I do love the bitty.  Or... just treat her, do some dishes, and make something to eat?  

Oh, hey.  Have you ever wanted to make something with chopped boiled eggs, but didn't want to bother with boiling, peeling, chopping, and else?  This... may be your lucky day.  I haven't tried it yet, but plan to soon.  If nothing else, a bit of egg salad would be good from time to time, though with more keto ingredients.  This looks great.  I have never tried boiling eggs in the instapot, didn't trust that.  This though?  Yeah, I could try this.

I keep wondering.

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Now, I know sourdough isn't good for diabetics.  Check.  But, that is using certain, often white, flour.  Unbleached makes little difference.  Whole wheat does, but... it is a bit heavy on it's own.  Flax, coconut, almond, and a few other flours might work?  Imagine, say, a coconut flour bread, leavened with einkorn sourdough.  Get it?  Why no experiments in that area.

A weird last few mornings.

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No pain, if no energy.  No focus, weak memory, and odd fogginess.  A will to work, but that gets completely swamped with a lack of anything else that has to accompany it to create success.  I do very little bits, then find myself sitting, reading small bits or trifles, looking at yt for anything new... or old.  I am worn.  I did a good bit of work this last week.  Toward the last of the week I started to founder.

I am still doing small bits.  I put the dishes in from yesterday.  And redid them this "morning".  Milk had arrived, so I reset kefir, mostly.  I used a clean jar, and took two jars out of circulation... putting them to a soapy soak.  After which, if the hot soapy water doesn't clean them well enough (as it often doesn't), I will use some of that beer and wine makers jar cleaner.  That does miracles for stuck on stuff, at least with glass.

I am still waiting for the waterers to heat up, but I did let the ducks out, and went ahead and fed the rabbits.  Not so much because they are all that hungry, usually, first thing.  But this morning they actually were.  Though they did have their waterers out overnight, and they were still flowing this morning, so... it's... not too bad for them.  If they ran out, it was just shortly ago.  As well, I opened the tarps up, so they can enjoy the day.  I will continue to close them up at night, until the winds stop coming through.  I don't want them to freeze.

Little things.  I want to find more of my cooking tools, and get those cleaning.  As well, clean the bathroom, get a shower, and do the last of the laundry... if now I might have a small load of other laundry.  Once the bathroom is clean, then back to the kitchen.  Though getting down to the table, and finding ingredients in there, can be an ongoing project.  Plus, collecting and breaking down boxes generally would be a good thing.

I generally shop at amazon, if their prices are right, because I simply can't get out as often as I would like.  And, some stores, especially national chains, sometimes try to force masks... even though they aren't supposed to do so.  Even though... they are... depends on which level of government one depends upon.  Anyway...  rather than fuss, I go to amazon.  All I suggest, if you do that for whatever reason, make sure you check prices.  They sometimes gouge extremely badly.  Though, if it can be found nowhere else, like canning jars?  It's... a sellers market.  How badly do you want or need the item(s)?

As well, amazon is the only place I can find certain foods, and source from America.  Oh, my store may carry coconut flour, say?  But it's from China, Bangladesh, or Vietnam.  No thank you.  I have become rather particular.  I don't want organic, that is a fools lie.  I don't want whatever is new or popular, but will try keto variances (of one ingredient).  I avoid anything that is labeled as keto but is fried in soy oil?  Really?  Or has ten ingredients of chemical which seem to have nothing to do with food.  Or even uses solid keto ingredients but in ways they really aren't meant to be used.  Fillers?

So, yes, part of my grocery shopping has gone online, because I can't trust my local store to provide true keto foods, purer ingredient options, and such.  Nothing personal.  Most sheep just buy "keto" stuff without having a clue what they are really getting.  Be with the herd, when possible.  Use it to help lower prices, but... don't follow it.  Women who buy "organic", or "keto", or "paleo", because of sticker... paying a premium for an obvious fraud, are not helping.  Vote with your dollars.  Better food.  Though, mostly,  better food is fresh, single ingredient.  But that isn't absolutely and always possible.  I get that too.  Just... don't spend money on "organic" products you can clearly see are unhealthy.  Just buy junk if you are going to buy junk.  It is absolutely plentiful and generally very cheap.  Save your money for the gym.  :p

Anyway... so, yea, boxes.  Boxes and boxes of boxes.  I really need to get on those.  And I need to start sorting.  I've been pushing toward that this whole week, but had so many other things to do... still do to a lessor degree.  But, soon, maybe this week?  Boxes, and upkeep, and cooking, and showering, and bills, and shopping, and sorting, and chores, and... it's... a lot.  A one man band with a single armed star or somesuch.  Later.

Nothing more.

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And it is well past bedtime.  The wind has picked back up.  But the temperature hasn't dropped below 35 since I last checked.  Odd, but... good.  The rabbits are covered, ducks in.  The waterers are out, more because I am too tired to get them.  If it doesn't freeze, or hard, they will have water early... or shortly after it begins to warm.

No food, no this, no that.  And it's bedtime.  There is tomorrow.  Good night.

Rabbits, ducks, and cats, oh my.

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Every "one" is tended.  I will get litter, again, probably as I am working on getting refuse together, bagged, and out.  All seem in good spirits.  Theseus, my youngest drake, had been in sour... more sad... spirits for quite some time.  This last week he has been in a slightly better mood.  No, not slightly.  I'd say he has been rather, almost, giddy.

I found out why.  It seems he has figured out how to get a hen to be with him from time to time.  Honestly, I think Henry, the indian runner drake, is helping.  How and why?  They why is to keep Theseus off Henry's hens.  The how is by picking a fight with Herc and doing a run and peck to get Herc's attention.  That gives Theseus just enough time to... do a round or two.  This morning, he was riding Penguin Girl quite vigorously.  Henry was doing his best, if I helped a bit myself.  Herc must have figured it out, so he was heading back.  I just stood at the hutch door and that was enough to dissuade Herc from breaking it up.  I do need a few more hens.  Enough that Herc isn't so bothered by a... second rider.  He wears out fairly well, even with three.  Three or four more, so to have a brooder I can get eggs in for.  Bleh.  I'd like to get meat birds going, these are the breeding stock... if they would stop eating their own eggs.  Gah!

I have been looking for the other kitchen implements.  I haven't found more.  Didn't look too awfully close.  I was beginning to crash, then did crash pretty quickly after that last post.  The only reason I didn't crash immediately was because I was stubbornly holding on to the hope that more work could yet be done.  No such luck.  I held on for, perhaps an hour, maybe too, drifting into insomnia.  I had to call it, or I would have drifted all night.

Hoping for more tool finding and cleaning, and a bit more today.  Those tools really help.  It's just a matter of keeping them clean.  The best bet is to clean them immediately.  Ugh.  I am getting tired again.  I may take a nap shortly, if I can't get to work in a few hours.  Later.

Clear and clean as a whistle.

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At 45 F, or so, and clear, it is a very good afternoon.  No snow arrived, I don't think wind picked up... no debris to be seen.  Or it just stayed light.  Still, that is cooler than it has been.  Even so, for at least this weekend, I am keeping the rabbits under raps, just in case a weird rain or snow, with frigid temps, blows through.  I... don't trust it.  I wonder if Colorado is being hit?

The ducks have been released, their feed put out and watered.  The rabbits have at least been opened up to the sun and fun.  Oh, I best turn up the furnace.  Not as warm, anymore.  I'm thinking 70 should be enough?  Meh, I'll do 72 until it warms again.  If it gets to the 60's, I'll keep the furnace at 66 just in case, and won't heat the waterers anymore.  Once it hits 70, I won't bother with the furnace, of course.

I am beginning to look for the biggest ac unit which runs on 120.  I'm hoping to put that in the spare bedroom window, and have a fan pushing or pulling it out.  Plus the two ac's upstairs, but with the overhead shady branch gone, I am hoping that will... do.  If I win ssd back, I'll begin planning a new furnace and house ac... with humidifier (though hopefully one I can turn on and off).  Plus, a new electrical, with subpanels in the garage and maybe a small one in the nearest outbuilding.  I'd like one in each outbuilding, but those will be for another year.  It's a big if, one I don't count on.  Still...

Oh?  I finally used the bullet blender to make a kefir and fruit mix.  The kefir isn't very chunky, so... it was good enough.  I really like the fruit mashed in.  I think, if t he kefir is thicker and chunkier, I may blend the fruit with just a bit of the kefir... or blend the bulk of the kefir very slightly after truly mashing the fruit... will have to work that out.  But I think I am onto something.  Oh, I like the kefir natural flavor.  I tried it with a touch of vanilla last night.  That almost removed the raw kefir/yogurt style taste I have really learned to lover.  I will not add vanilla.  But if you don't like kefir/yogurt raw flavor?  Vanilla, or other extracts etcetera might be for you.

Today?  I... don't know.  A shower, more dishes, the rest of the laundry.  Maybe some work outside?  Perhaps... some other things.  I just... I don't know.  I was wearing down yesterday.  And it is rather cool today.  Trash set up?  So many things to do, but the list is shrinking... or at the easy, or already considered so plotted and planned, lists.  Tearing down boxes, sorting things out and beginning to consolidate and store boxes?  Cleaning the storage area for better food storage downstairs?  So many options, but they end up being huge jobs.  Still... yes... thinking.  Probably just the easy, and a beginning on one of those bigger, over-time, jobs.  I... I am thinking I am back.  Later.

The wind is up, things are... possibly happening.

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It was at 30 F, when I put the ducks in and brought in waterers, while fetching water.  I decided, however, with the wind, and recently warmer weather, to cover the rabbits.  I don't want them going into shock, getting sick, or even dying.  The one advantage of having at least two to a cage is, when it gets cold, they can huddle... and do.  I may, in the winter, bundle them in colder weather.  Small groups, but, yeah.  With enough room, they may do well enough together?

I did dream of two to three feet.  If it looks like, should that happen, it will be in Colorado.  Time will tell.  While I think we could use precip, I'm not sure two to three feet, at once, only to thaw almost immediately, would be fun.  Then again, maybe they could manage it.  I'm not sure what their limits are out here.  I just know everybody has them.

I am looking for other tools with which to more easily produce keto foods, batters, and drinks.  I found a bullet type blender.  I should have a mini processor somewhere, and a larger if mid-quality food processor.  I have a stick blender, and actually another with more parts to it.  All need cleaned and reset.  Finding a home for each, and a good place to use them, is going to be a trick.  Still, I may get to that yet tonight.

I did do a trim, of whiskers.  I have cleaned all the dishes and then some which were ready.  Most are still air drying.  I would like to get a shower as well.  Plus, I plan on making a cheese cake tonight... double that recipe, giver or take.  She used 140 grams, but the packages arrive in 225 grams, or something... so not quite double.  And I will bake it, if I'm not sure how long?  I would guess eight to fifteen minutes at 350.  I have an idea of what "done" looks and acts like, so... there is a chance.  I'll just start checking at the low end, then every two minutes.  I'll add frozen berries.  If it's too rich, I'll just eat half.

I've also been thinking, a cheese cake doesn't always have to be sweet.  Add, say, tuna, mackerel, or canned salmon... perhaps a few capers and gherkins and or other sich.  Dill would be a great herb, perhaps thyme, rosemary, sage, or a few others.  Not too many, one or two of those.  I'd think chilled would be best, the flavors would be more muted.  At least for a try.  Still, if that went well, in colder weather, that warm would make a wonderful potential light meal or side dish.  Yea, it's... how I think.  *wink*  With my stomach.  Always.  Gratefully, I rarely actually get to fill it.  And, now, on keto, I'm not... even interested, in fact... only of curiosity... or of the mind.

Well, I am warming the eggs a bit.  The cream cheese is in the bullet blender.  I should get to it.  Oh, and while at it, I'll blend some kefir.  Make it smooth rather than chunky.  I thought about adding berries to it, but only one berry dish per day, really... mostly.  Later.  Or good night if I fall and fail.  Sleep well, dream well, wake well, then get to it. 

Slow.

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I did get all of the dishes, finally, finished.  Well, some is put up, some is air drying.  Plus, I sanitized then washed my waffle maker.  I purchased it shortly before I found keto, give or take.  And, while I haven't, exactly, puritanically, been living keto, I have been doing my best.  Plus, I never quite got into making waffles.  Besides cats not being kind to it, it sat for a long time.

Trust?

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You?  Me?  Each other?  I don't trust my own, whichever that may be.  I don't trust others.  It's just the way it is.  My faith is in God, not even in myself.  And, yet, I have to start somewhere.  So?  So I trust you at face value until you prove that isn't possible.  Even then, I won't hate you.  I just won't trust you.  Your failure isn't mine.  Even if you steal me blind, you have truly only hurt yourself.

Finally!

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I have been calling ssa every few days this week.  Either I got canceled, or ran out of time on my end, and just... backed off.  Finally, today, I contacted a very helpful employee.  I discussed my problems, and he offered some advice.  Too late today, to act, but he assured me I have a legitimate case and should fight for it.  Just to keep trying.

He said lawyers shouldn't need the paperwork, but he is sending it... trying to send it.  They put requests in to office workers who are hit and miss about sending out the paperwork.  So, Monday, I'll get right at it.  So tired, just from... getting through, and... seeing a possibility of hope.  I may have to take a nap just from that.  I don't know.  I don't want to nap though!

I did another quarter of the batch of dishes from last night.  I'll get the rest soon, unless I crash.  A trim before that.  A shower as soon after those as possible.  And, then the final load of laundry.  Oh, I have to get to chores!  I've... lost track.  The stress, just leading to it.  But the... relief of hope after, were exceedingly potent.  I... I couldn't think.  I am just glad I was able to make the call.

Ugh.  Later.

A sort of good sleep.

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A very slightly rough morning.  More from work yesterday, I think.  Well, and stretching the day.  It isn't a matter, necessarily, of the hours.  But hours and work, and over days.  It all adds up.  My body can't work consistently, without a price, and even then only for a short time.  Then I wind down, my body begins to ache, and I run out of steam.

So many things, if smaller things, were done yesterday, and through the week.  Dishes, laundry, picking up, cooking, chores, the girls, showering...  It all adds up.  Now I am a tired mess.  Even so, I am hoping to finish the dishes which remain, get a shower in, then finish the last load of laundry.  Of course, that means the start of the next load of laundry, with my clothes to be changed, but I can live with that.

Other than chores, that will pretty much be it today.  And, tomorrow, it will be a light load.

I have a plan for upstairs, and clothing.  I may begin packing clothes away.  Slowly, as they are being washed in small batches in the future, I will be folding some and putting them aside.  Cutting my active wardrobe down to a manageable size.  The rest folded, sorted, and stored.  If I need more, that's easy enough.  If I need special, better, clothes, that shouldn't be a problem.

Then again, for my better clothes, I believe I will put them on hangers, then in sealed hanging garment bags.  As well, my better and winter coats.  The rest will be put in those large ziploc type bags, or other such.  Technically I could use some of the larger industrial garbage bags, as they don't have pesticides.  But I think the plastic would eventually create it's own odors.  Then again, will the ziplocs?  Maybe not, different plastic, meant for longer term storage.  

Who knows, at some point, I may get rid of some smaller or larger chunk of my wardrobe.  I have way too much... I buy new when needed, but almost never toss.  I'll keep out mostly the more worn, if beginning to toss the heavily warn... or create a rag bag.  I... hate to lose clothes... mostly comfy old t-shirts.  And, really, I rarely wear clothes down.  My oldest functioning jeans look better than the torn stuff off some shelves... or even the mechanically worn.  Heck, the worst my clothes generally have is some fading... though... perhaps spotting on shirt.

I can't get rid of old spots.  I have been doing a lot to get spots out, immediately, these days.  But the old spots are there to stay.  Tried my heart out, they just won't go.  That may be a way to pare down.

Ugh, so tired!  Still, waterers are warming.  Chores, then some sort of lunch, a reset of dishes... unless I need a nap.  A few other things... or a nap.  Argh!  Can't stop yawning!  Later.

I have done what I could.

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The dishes set up were done, dried, set to air dry.  then another two small groups were put to soak.  I had really hoped to finish those, so as to get a shower in, and then finish... or start... the last load of laundry.  Too weary.  Perhaps even too tired.  Even so, it was a good night.  I did a quarter of those last dishes.  And I have been cleaning and clearing in very small areas and short periods of work.

It is well past time to get to bed, as there is nothing else to be done tonight.  I would like a bit to eat though.  I am simply not sure what.  I am almost too tired to think it through, but I would like to figure something out.  I have been working at eating a bit every three to five hours.  Currently, it isn't absolutely out of a pure animal hunger.  It is more trying to keep my macros... fats, protein, and carbs, on some sort of even keel.

Well, and, I do need to eat.  No doubt.  Further, another part of trying to eat regularly and well, is to begin aiming at intermittent fasting.  Why?  Well... if I eat enough, even to boredom, which happens quickly on keto, then it is easier to begin intermittent fasting.  It's a bit of a trick.  Strange that the hard way is the easy way, if you do it correctly.  The only problem with the whole schtick?  It... gets terribly boring.

I still think boredom is the root of as much sin as is the greed for gold.  Very odd that way, but I think true.  Gluttony is a sin, if the truth is, without a woman to run the home... even sometimes with one especially in these modern times, gluttony is how things end.  Even, technically, not working (my disability, to a degree, IS my work... it's what I do, or what causes me to not be able to be employed), I have a great deal of difficulty sorting out food.

It really takes a professional, conscientious, housewife.  Men cannot do these things.  It's... just the truth.  I am beginning to get better at it, but I will never be able to shop, clean, cook, manage the fridge, pantry, other stocks, and else.  It's beyond me.  Especially a healthy, which for me is keto, diet.  I... can do well, mostly, usually.  But... so much slippage, mistakes, waste.

Anyway.  I will figure something out.  Even a can of sardines, kefir, and tea?  If that's what is there.

Good night.

A devil, they say?

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But not the devil they know?

Or...

A very strange accusation.

Worth a grin.  Oh, I think I know who.  You would never guess it.  Though, it might be more than one?

So strange.  Music at yt has been tied up, dried out, and dead for quite some time.  Recently, patterns galore.

Patterns to be sure.

The problem is, I see too.

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More was already programmed, for later.  Still is.  More has arrived.  I am... trying to keep up.

Someone not only sees, but knows how to make contact.  While I can see, I have... limits.

A bit more, and now even more.

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Work, that is.  Dishes were reset.  I will probably go, rinse them in hot water, then dry them... all of them, if I'll rinse in batches.  A trim before doin that.  A shower after.  Then more dishes in for a wash.  As well, I hope to get trash sorted, and recycling.  I mostly just need to get bags in the barrels.  Oh, I might as well... wait... I won't wash laundry, as whites are the next, and I will be putting the towel I use for the shower in.  Then, I think, everything will be washed.

I had a meal.  An odd one, but it worked.  An ounce and an half of mixed nuts, four slices of munster cheese, and three cups of kefir.  A... admittedly... strange meal.  But it worked really well.  I suppose, though, after dinner, I'll have some of the burger crumble, spiced a bit warmer with the carolina reaper and a potpourri of else, with cheddar and... I think I am out of sour cream.  I'll have to check the salsa and guac.  It should be quite good.

It is nearing time to put the birds up.  But they won't go if they aren't feeling it.  I'm pretty sure the waterers are still flowing, so I will let those alone until later.  I refreshed the girls' water twice today, so that won't be bothered about.  Hmm... always little things to be done between here and there.  I think the food is helping get me to a place where work is more likely.  So far behind, in so many places and areas, but it starts where it does.  Goes as long and well as it can.

Someone has been digging, looking, viewing, and thinking.  They have found things from very far back.  It's like they are trying to put something together, a collage, of me, for me?  Or... for someone else?  But I am seeing it.  It isn't showing up in all ways.  But there are clues, here, and there.  I do see.  But it is beyond what my eyes see.  I sense it.  I don't always like it, or approve.  I'm not always ready to face... what was back there.  But... so be it.

I am not absolutely sure how they are hiding their more direct tracks.  I would guess they have a copy, offline, perhaps including the music?  Or... some of it.  I'm not a techy.  I'm not even sure that is possible (or I might consider doing it).  That is... just... what my mind says... or suspects... and suggests to me is happening.  Someone showing someone else, or several others, around.

Yes, I... see you, in a way.  Fourth wall?  Be careful with the fifth wall.  That is me seeing you look me over through your eyes.  I... already do some of that.  Later.

A bit of everything.

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Chores, to laundry, dishes to feeding the cats, little bits of extra here and there.  Not fast, not a lot at once, but... something now and then.  And a few things arrived.

Getting into keto takes a bit of practice, money, experience, data, and trial and error.  I ordered a few items, in order to cook or snack better.  I do have a plentitude of various nuts, but those aren't a daily thing.  And the volume is limited.  Still, those are a start, for when I get hangry in a hurry.  Otherwise I stupid eat.  Anything easy and ugly, as long as it is fast, and sometimes warm.  This time, kalamata olives.  A big jar of them, actually from Greece.

I am sampling a first go at them.  Yes, I chose well.  I haven't, yet, portioned out a serving by mass.  I need to do that, as with nuts.  Perhaps get an eyeball on general volume too.  I try to measure things out, to know a serving size.  Which... I then sample for a while.  I know, however, that "serving size" is... or last I heard... was based on the modern "dietary" needs of a 53 year old, 120 pound, post-menopausal woman.  Which... means... it has absolutely nothing to do with a middle aged man at 6'5" plus at 280 pounds.  Hmm...

Anyway, it is a starting place.  I then consider calories, my diet wants and needs, my preferences, and come up with a portion that is more realistic.  Then I begin scaling that and getting an eye spot for that portion, then... after a bit... I just eyeball it.  Sometimes higher, sometimes lower, depending on perceived needs.  Though, I think, from now on, if I seem sated?  I'll either put the remnants up for later, put them back (like for nuts), or toss them.  I need to stop that grazing instinct.  I'm not a sheep or bull.

On to a bit more work.  I really think I might end up with dishes (those loaded) done, laundry through to being dried, the vacuum upstairs and maybe a bit of that cleared, and a few other things.  So much to do.  It has, again, started being done.  Perhaps tearing down boxes tonight, and getting some ready to go just as is.  And, again, looking for bailing wire.  I hate to buy more, being sure there is a lot of it around somewhere.  Still, if I can't find it by the time I am out next time, I will have to buy some.  Later.

I never did get to bed early.

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It just didn't happen.  Couldn't sleep.  Insomnia of a sort, I suspect.  I didn't get a lot more done, but I had a fine supper, did more dishes and laundry, and sorted a few other things or areas.  Light work.  Slow, in small bits, but a mostly pleasant evening.  Shoulders and lower back started aching, from sitting too long.  While I did work, and moved around a bit, it was mostly a sitting night.  The more tired I became, the longer I sat.

I don't know when I did got to bed... 02:00~05:00?  I woke around noon?  Give or take a quarter.  Ducks were let out, their food opened to them, their pool filled to overflowing just a bit.  The furnace was turned up just a bit.  Cat food was set out, though I need to go get treats.  I am hoping to get treats, cycle the laundry as needed, wash and refresh dishes, treat the girls and tend their litter, then sit for a bit.

Beyond that, finishing laundry and dishes yet  today, getting the vacuum cleaner upstairs, getting another shower in... a trim first, and looking for bailing wire.  Well, and food, perhaps some calls.  Ugh.  I don't have much pain this morning, the minor aches from last night are gone.  These are new, wonderful, different ones!  If so mild they can currently be ignored.

I am hoping, Friday, to have a kidney for lunch, perhaps with an egg besides.  If I can get to town, I'd like to pressure cook a chicken, getting the meat off that for another bit of chicken soup.  And some stock from that, which means I need more chicken feet.  Might as well pick up hogs feet and tripe, if I can afford it.  Never can tell how much money is in there.  Bleh.

Today?  I would have to find coconut flower, but I'd like to make a keto bread, and toast that as an aside to eggs, plus a few bacon thirds.  Already had a kefir sip.  Yea, I'll... get started with morning works, then figure out more food though.  Later.

Liver.

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I had packaged the remaining raw liver well.  Storing it in a airsealed bag, in the fridge.  I have packages frozen, as well.  I was curious how long this would last.  Three days?  It yet smelled fresh, so I went with it.

This time I didn't fuss at every step nearly so obsessively.  The bacon?  I just let it run.  It became slightly more crisp than I prefer, but not burned or dry.  It was just a bit more crisp.  Why bacon, with liver, you ask?  Well, beside the flavor, and fat for cooking?  Ah, that.  Liver has a LOT of vitamin A.  Which isn't a bad thing.  However, when eating vitamin A, you need to eat it in balance with vitamin D.  Otherwise whichever one is eaten exclusively or in excessively larger portions, will strip the other.  Too much A?  It'll take out the D you do have.  And vice versa.  So... BACON!

The onion and garlic went in right after the bacon was pulled.  Butter was added.  Less butter, less bacon, which took care of excess saltiness.  Though I didn't salt at each stage.  But this stage I did salt.  It help draw moisture, thus sugar, out of the onions.  Still, a very light hand on the salt, and a sea salt... from the Dead Sea, I believe.

After that, I left the onions and garlic in, found a nice temp at which to begin cooking the liver, if I added about 8 liquid ounces of the fresh chicken stock... reminds me, I need to pull out a few more pints of that.  After it had mixed and warmed, creating a gravy, I added the onions.  Plus, making the gravy gave me time to get the temperature just right.  Two minutes on one side, three on the other.  I may have cooked it slightly longer than I prefer, or it is older and that was it.  Still, it was quite good.  There was just a bit of that dry weird bit in the middle.

Still?  That is everything I could hope for in a three day old liver.  I'd dare say I might be able to cook liver, beef liver at that, better than most people can cook any liver.  I was even trying to find a problem, pick it apart, this time and last.  I am well pleased.  I do like liver, at least the way I cook it.  Next time, if I can get my world together, I will try a pate, some stored, as well as making some fresh.  Further, the next time I make a mixed meat hamburger crumble, I will add about a third of the mass as liver.  I think I can easily handle that.

I have started dishes, but haven't pushed them through.  I am about to turn over one load of laundry, then put whites in.  I pulled the waterers, refilled those, then refreshed the girls' water.  I need to redo their litter.  Ugh, I hate that job this late in my declining condition.  I will... try.  It really needs it, and I... it keeps my ladies healthy.  They can't do it.  Yea.  Good night.

Who... who is out there?

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I... have my suspicions.  Still... let it be.  If... left well alone.

About to go down, for a bit?

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Three little batches of laundry have been set to soak.  Have I switched laundry batches?  If not, I will.  Cats were fed... need to hit their litter.  Bleh.  A few other bits and pieces.  Oh, I will set up trash while doing litter and maybe laundry.  Nothing else to eat, for a bit.  Could have kefir, but I want that later.  Could do a little treat, but... cream cheese would have to be warm.  I... may set that out.

More and going.

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A shower taken, after dishes.  Laundry started... more collected and put in.  More dishes started, even more soon.  Perhaps two more dish pans worth shortly.  Needed a breather.  A vinegar tonic, along with an ounce and an half of walnuts and pecans.  The girls have been fed.  I really need to hit their litter.  And fresh tea set to brew.

I plan to air dry, myself, a bit.  Then, when the hair is dry enough, take a nap.  If I can get a task or three in before napping I will.  If not, I guess I won't, innit.  It is 34 F outside.  Down from a high of 36, if my readings are correct.  All good.  Those are good temps, as things stand.  Even with the snow, and it's evaporation, there isn't as much moisture in the air, which made this temp seem quite cold, as there was when it did that.

Being just a nap, I will let the girls up.  I have plans for this evening.  I figure I can get quite a lot done.  Oh, I have two loads of laundry after this... actually quite large... load of cottons.  A medium load of synthetics and a wool watchcap, plus a load of whites.  I should at least be able to get the whites washing, all the dishes finishes, some put up, some put out to air dry.  And, maybe, a bit more work in the bathroom.

So tired.  So dark.  Nearing naptime.  Later.

A start, or second start.

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Dishes were finished and hand dried.  Set out to air dry.  Chores are complete.  A lunch was had.  The last portion of kraut and kielbasa.  That really is tasty.  I would like to eventually try it with fermented sauerkraut.  It might not be all that cooked, but I won't always be cooking it.  As well, it's the idea.  Homesteading food, actually made, at home, from raw ingredients, over time.  I have a 20 liter crock, just for this... with a moisture sealing lid.  Though, to start, I may just use mason jars and self-burping lids?  Or water regulated burpers.  Yea, I have some... interesting tools.

I did clean the toilet again, plus the toilet brush and it's holder were given a soak as I cleaned... disinfected... a mop bucket.  I am... almost... getting ready for a major push on the cave.  Light, a bit more warmth, plenty of good sleep, right food, and... I'll... be ready.  I am focusing very precisely, acutely, willfully, at doing these things, and little things to help facilitate when the time comes.  I am getting ready.

Odd how long it truly does take to get ready.  In high school sport, we practiced weeks or months for our first game, then daily for weekly games.  Minimumly five or even six to one, and that once we were up to speed fitness wise.  Though I am not sure I ever felt up to speed.  I was always tired.  There isn't a way to get out of that, it's just that, in that condition, I could work through it.  Usually.  It was knowing when to hustle and when to slow and catch a breath.

Yea.  I think things will be warming up, and heating up, around the cave soon.  Later.

The plan has been changed, slightly.  I will do another, if very small, load of darks, after a shower.  Then do whites right after.  I need to refill two batches of waterers.  I am hoping to make a few calls.  As well, I would like to begin some works outdoors.  Ugh...  I don't think I'll be to town today.  Just not quite up to it.  The darkness is getting to me.  Still, I think I can do some things.  

A shower today, dishes set up and gone through, a trim before the shower...  I am going to try to drive whatever dishes I set up clean through today, so that the shower is ready for tomorrow.  First thing, it is hoped.  Yea.  A man can dream.  And, if not completely, or every detail, those dreams can, do, come true.  Just a bit of a break, as I digest dinner.  Lunch?  Supper?  Lupper, I should think.

Hopefully liver tonight, or it has to go out.  If it doesn't have to go out already.  We'll see.

Deeper sleep?

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.

I am having to keep the girls out.  They used to be able to wake me, every few hours.  I have been, when letting them up, waking with scratches.  I think they simply aren't able to wake me, and do what they feel they need to do to wake me.  Thankfully, they seem to have limits.  But, I can't do scratches.  I don't heal well.  Could easily lead to infections.

I do believe I am sleeping much more soundly.  I still wake to void, but less often and less in volume.  I am down to, say, half a gallon, rarely a gallon and an half, of tea... but usually averaging about three quarts rather than three to eight half gallon jugs.  Now, kefir is in the mix, about a quart and a half a day?  Probably actually averaging half that though honestly.  So... way down on fluids, and kefir is only part fluid.  It doesn't quite act like a liquid.  The body treats it more like a mostly solid food... if I had to bet.

Anyway, I still void three times a night, if only about 750 ml, rather than two the three... or more... liters.  If I could get back on meds, I am pretty sure I can quit peeing at night altogether, after the medicine does what it does.  Yea, no, I'm not yet back on it.  I get so busy doing house work, that I collapse in a pile.  And when I go to put it together, after I do rest a bit, the mind isn't always there.

Plus?  I... fear the restarts.  I... I know I will fall down, and not be able to do much for... who knows how long.  A week?  Rarely I don't go down much at all, but then I can go down for months.  I'll... put medicines together today.  I am almost sure I can.  I just reset dishes to a hot soak, cleaned the toilet a bit, and set the alarm to do chores.  After chores, I will find medsets and fill them.  I should have enough for three months?  And probably the medicine for it.  Ugh.

I think I can.  I keep thinking I can.  I keep failing.  I keep planning anyway.  I won't quit even if I never get up again.  I'll keep at it, even if just in my mind.  Amen.

Not certain when I went to bed?

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It was shortly after the post.  The post indicates it was posted at 03:00, but I think that is when I started it.  I... went to the bathroom... I filled my tea jug... I fussed in the kitchen... it wasn't a straight shot.  Yes, sometimes I am very easily distractible, especially nearing bedtime, when trying to stay up... or go to bed, or otherwise stressed.  If I have to go the the bathroom, but don't want to get up it's dog and squirrel time.  Cannot focus at all.  So... it was later, if not 04:00 yet.  Probably a quarter to, give or take a very few.

I woke, really, at 11:00, but had a hard time pulling out.  An eye would just.  The other would get jealous and shut too.  And I'd shake awake and start over.  I'd get a leg out, then fall back, and do the eye trick thing again.  It... could be a vaudevillian skit?  Perhaps, if a more tame one.  Guys just aren't sexy, but we can be funny.  Was vaudeville stuff risque?  Or mostly fun, funny?  Then again, sexy can be funny.  No... it often is funny.  The things we do for love!  Anyway, it took an half hour to rise.  At least the baking wasn't the purpose.  A doughboy indeed.

Anyway.  It seemed bright AND dark outside, which... didn't make sense.  It was 60 yesterday, right?  I am sure of it.  A peak outside and it all made sense.  Sure, it is overcast.  But it DID snow.  Hahaha.  Not three feet, mind you.  But I'll bet they were laughing when I suggested snow, even as a dream, but more, earlier, that this wasn't over.  I still have a sense, of more, and deeper snow, but... that is just a sense, not a... premonition.  This is just enough to make em' nervous.  Oh, it's about 32 F out, it won't last, when the sun comes out.  And the driveway is clear and clean.  It was too warm, and holding in warmth, so that the snow had no chance.  Not sure how much fell, but only a bit remains, and not everywhere.  Still, fun.

Liver this morning.  The freezer top is ready for dishes.  And I definitely need a shower.  A trim before that.  Of course, chores first.  Chores, feeding the girls, washing dishes, breakfast.  Then a trim and shower, a load of laundry, and?  If I get that far I will figure it out.  A kefir breakfast.  It'll hold me for a bit.  Oh, best turn the heat up a bit.  Helps some mornings... morning like this where the temp fell a goodly bit in the night.  Later.

Not liver.

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I like liver.  I just didn't feel like it.  Plus, it requires a lot of attention... at each of several steps.  Instead?  Kielbasa in sauerkraut.  No, not a true sauerkraut.  But, then again, if you cook even honestly fermented sauerkraut, you kill all the living goodies.  So...  Anyway.  I fried sliced and then fried the kielbasa in a bit of butter.  After I got both ends slightly crisped, I added diced onions and garlic.  I let that go for a bit, then just added the sauerkraut.

Funny thing?  I... didn't think I liked kielbasa!  :p  And, I would guess, straight up, I probably don't.  It's a bit rich.  Still, with the butter, kraut, onions, and garlic, heated just right, fried a bit in a cast skillet?  That was truly a very fine little meal.  Cold tea on the side.  There is a bit left.  I may have the rest of it later.  Still working on... working?  Right.

I did get the freezer washed off, did just a bit of cleaning.  I need to get the waterers in, and refill any needed.  Then probably reset the dishes... or just hot rinse them, then take them to the freezer top to dry and set them to air dry finish overnight.  I'd like to get a shower in, then put the whites which includes the towel I will be using, in to wash.  Perhaps setting up another small batch or two of dishes?  Something like that.

I am getting tired again.  I'd better push, or plan to not get that much done.

I had a dream yesterday night... day?  No, not the nap, the night before.  Two dreams actually.

In the first, H. Clinton was being queen bee.  And, it seems, she got stung.  There were a lot more details, but... that will do.  I'm not sure she survived it.  Limits.  Everybody has them.

In the other dream, a group of family and friends from Iowa showed up.  We got hit by a major snow storm.  They figured out an alternative heating source in my home, and got it up and running.  Found it, really.  They also stored enough resources to run it for probably close to a full winter.  Even though this winter is pretty much over?

We had some good meals, and drink... if I went quite light on drink.  Still, they had traveled long and done well.  I wasn't sure, to be honest, if I could trust them, what their motives were.  But... I just enjoyed and... let whatever might happen, happen.  It worked out well.  Yea, I am paranoid.  I... seem to... develop that... skill? talent? disease? in others.  Oh well.

A lot more details in this dream.  The snow was very deep, like a three feet drop?  And more.  Anyway.  Even so, even if just in a dream, it was good to see folk from back home, even if I didn't fully trust.  Then again... when do I trust?  Though, when do I worry about not trusting?  It really all is in God's hands.  Further, I'd rather an opportunity for heaven, or even a better healthier body if I am going to be needed down here still.  And death just might provide that.  Either way, any way, sooner or later, it has to happen in any, every, case.

Good night... if I still have a few things to do.  Still amazed with that kielbasa.  Grateful to God for the many and varied gifts... foods, housing, animals, friends, and even family.  :)  Yea.  Amen.

A decent nap?

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I have no idea how long I went down.  I went down hard and fast, but woke well at 21:00, about an half hour ago?  Something in there.  When I went to bed, it was still light out (if an ugly light... darkening prematurely).  Perhaps it was 17:30 when I went down?  17:00?  18:00?  Something.  It was about 42~44 out when I went down.  Oddly, it is that same temperature, or was when I woke.

Wind picked up, was tossing around smaller trash cans I had put out.  I reset those more securely, then checked the temp.  I am hoping to clean the freezer, wash dishes, get a trim, take a shower, then start a load of laundry.  As well, hopefully, put more dishes going.  Rather that buying a whole chicken... or waiting on that... I believe I will pull a package of chicken out of the freezer, and use those.  They won't have the back, neck, etc.  But they will do.  Still, the next time I get out, I will buy a few whole chickens.  And I may continue to do so.  If I want hindquarters, I can always trim those off and save them aside.  I would do it with chicken wings, but... there is next to no meat on them.  I guess that IS why people buy them?  Not my gig.

I put the ducks in right after waking.  I figured the wind would have chased them in, and I was right.  It's a safe, quiet, place when weather happens.  I've left the waterers out, but will pick those up a bit later.  Getting all refilled.  I probably won't sanitize them weekly, but every other week to once a month.  Still, I do clean them, mildly, just with water, shaking and hand swabbing them weekly.  It's as good as I can do.  They are perking up as warmer weather arrives.

Yea, I best get to some work.  I am sure I can get some of it.  All of it?  We will see.

Oh, I have been looking for keto foods, and variants.  I need to find my keto friendly things, and get back set up.  It's not that I have completely lost keto, just that I haven't been doing the more complicated cooking.  Keeping it simple is actually, generally, better.  But, sometimes, a treat or a simulacrum of something generally otherwise very carby really is nice.  If I don't let it out, I outright cheat.  

Though, in this case, the thing is is that I need a roux, for an actual food.  Now, I have coconut and almond flour, but they really fail in some ways.  I suspected they would fail in this.  I was hoping carbquik would do, a mostly carb friendly near-flour.  So I went looking.  And, wouldn't you know?  It works, according to this guy, if he uses it for gumbo, the absolute best.  Color, texture, even taste.  I need it for menudo... the right way.  And, so it will be.  And, if I want it red, a few dried chili peppers, opened, seeded (perhaps), rehydrated, blended, then added to this roux?  It... might add that red that I really prefer.

A very nice day.

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It was up to 60 F, or more?  I didn't look carefully enough.  Tired.  For as warm as it is, it is dark.  Getting darker by the moment.  Last I looked it had dropped to about 54, but it had been pretty warm most of the day.  The ducks are enjoying exploring more of the yard.  Even Sam got out!  She has been in and out three different times.

I left milk out for her, which worked the first time.  And really, a second time.  She thought she wanted to come in once when I was out, but returned right back out as soon as she could.  She may have feared the ducks?  They... can be weird... herd animals as they are.  If Sam leaves her little upward hidey-hole, they will follow her around almost without a thought.  Her flicking tail is part of it.  *grins*  Works on me, sometimes, if... of a different species.  Just... yea...

She came back in, while I was fussing with trash and recycling.  But this time, to get kibble's and water, I think.   Then, back out she went.  She really is an outdoors girl.  Even if, at her age, about all she does is nap out there.  Still, I've... been thinking about it.  Figuring out how to hang a hammock... a camping, not play, one.  Keeping the ties up, at least any I put on a structure.  And, then, going out, from time to time, if it is too hot in the house or if I just want to enjoy sleeping or napping out of doors.  I guess I can't complain... other than that she already has a perch.  Though... why do I think I would end up with a cat in the sack?  Women!  It... doesn't even matter which species, always.

As mentioned, trash and recycling have mostly been handled.  I have one more load of recycling to sort, if that probably won't be enough to take out.  I'll just keep it in the container, in the bag... or not.  Might just take it all out.  Trash is mostly sorted, more could always go, but that would take... more.  I nearly cleared the freezer top, and will finish that before long.  Perhaps after a nap?  Then wash it, dry it, and begin on the dishes.  Then a trim and shower?  I can hope.  I've been hoping for a few days again, without quite getting to it.

Liver, later tonight.  This time with a shot of fresh lemon as it is plated.  Oh, and I am hoping to remember the Idaho faux potatoes as well.  Parmesan or cheddar?  I'll... think on it.  I did have a cup of chicken stock.  I have one more from what was made.  I'll pull two more containers out.  I have used the stock in other things, though, too.  Including making gravy for the liver.

The next time I am out, I hope to get a whole chicken, and more chicken and pork feet, and tripe.  I can handle more chicken stock, if really what will be made is chicken meat.  The stock is mostly a biproduct this time.  I will use have in a soup, of the meat, put half up for later use.  I don't have to use pulled chicken just for soup.  It, warmed and slightly spiced, herbed, and such would make a fine salad.  Hmm, might pick up two whole chickens.  Not my favorite, I don't prefer breast meat.  But, pulled, spiced, cooked lightly enough, I hopefully won't notice.  Yea, picky, about some things.  Then again, as mentioned, food isn't and shouldn't be just about preferences.

Which reminds me?  Bell peppers.  I absolutely... hate... no, now, dislike... that in cooked food.  I like spears of it, raw.  In salads, with celery as snack food, or such.  But cooked?  I really, really, don't like it.  So?  So... I need to learn to like it.  I hate this process, to start.  But I really like, in the end, having one more food I can eat and truly enjoy.  I can't add it to liver, this time.  I don't have any, and no way into town yet tonight.  But, I will buy some, and try to keep it on hand, for adding to liver and other cooked foods.  Not every night, that... rubs me raw.  But, a few times a week until... I don't even notice.  Thanks, Jean.  Both literally and cynically?  Something.  Ha!  Your trying to make me a better man.  *grins*

A bit achy and rough.  Falling down tired.  The sky is falling, it is getting so dark, and seemed to get so quickly.  A nap.  Yes.  Then work as soon as I can wake.  Or a bit of uptime, then another nap!  Sleep until I am rested enough to work, in parts or bigger chunks, or weeks if necessary.  No reason to be awake if I can't work... even a bit.  And, right now, that's a no-go.

Later or much later.

I've... been hacked?

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I didn't write this, merely noticed.  It's been building for days.  I... curated?  Sorted?  Attempted to make sense.  Some old, some new.  Someone is as hungry as I am.  Not just one, though.  Interesting.  The thoughts of three to four women, converging, for their own purposes, in their own ways, with data proffered over time?  Flirting in the oddest of ways.  Sometimes wearing my... skins... clothes.  Payback?

Oh, I... have enjoyed.  Understand?  I think so, once I realized it wasn't a single thinker.  Well, and the moods shifted, so even then, it was... bit much.  Enjoyed?  Yes, I think so.  Once I realized the gig.  Gigs.  It has been a lot to take in.  I have been tired and ill.  Old songs, in new ways, presented from her perspective, whichever her was there at a moment.  When a women gets this way, it's difficult to tell them apart.

Anyway... a very small portion which came rolling in out of nowhere.  Enjoy or go away.

Up but not quite at it.

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That bad food sort of got to me.  Just unbalanced me a bit.  Still, okay.  I think I will figure things out shortly.  I was to bed slightly after 04:30, within ten minutes.  I woke at noon thirty, and have been awake an half hour or so.  I let the ducks out.  And set their water going... which reminds me... time to shut that off.  I will probably tend the rabbits as I turn the water off.

Cats next, or shortly after.  A bit sleepy.  A dose of kefir to start the morning.  That, usually, helps me go large and easily soon enough.  After which, I plan to reset the dishes, and get a dishpan of hot soapy water for the counter cleanoff.  A bit of sorting first.  But, yea, I'll... get to things earlier today.  I hope.  Well, I did put the laundry to one more spin, in case it wasn't dry... a short warm run to finish it off.

I really want to push through dishes, so as to get to a shower.  A shower every day, or at least every other, during the week, is a new goal.  Weekends?  As a luxury, if possible.  Though if I can get back to church, assuming it is available, I would have to shower either Saturday night or Sunday morning.  Yea, I'm thinking about it.  If church is open, I'll get in for a confession, then get in to church as possible... but definitely Saturday night or Sunday morning, though a few times a week would be good.  I don't think they have mass every day where it is reasonable for me to attend... I think about three times a week, and weekends, at most?  Maybe less now?  I don't know, I will start looking, checking.  Hmm, could call today.  I'll bet confession is still midafternoon on Saturdays... somethings won't change?  Who knows, though, these days.

Yea, I'll get some things going before I fall down and don't get back up.  Tea is in?  So the web says.  I buy enough to keep several months ahead, and attempt to extend that, so eventually have nearly a year... definitely six months... probably... in stock.  Rather pricey stuff, if I am stingy with it, mostly.  Two to three pots per most of a doser.  It's as good as I can do.

Yep, cats are letting me know that food is not just a want or luxury.  Sam, with those great big eyes... and claws.  Fair enough.  Later.

Just a bit more.

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I put the laundry in the dryer, and ran it one on fluff, and one to finish drying.  As well, I washed, then rinsed, the dishes.  As well, I pulled the waterers.  I was doing bits and pieces of those through time.  Then I just hit a wall.  Nothing more will get done.  That's that.  No trim, no shower, and trash isn't going out.  There really isn't much trash, or recycling.  Still...  I want that out.  Tomorrow.

Time has dragged through to 04:30.  With so little done I feel foolish.  Hit a spell of insomnia, I think.  Still, could be worse.  I have seen that drag on for days.  Or into the afternoon.  I'm going to bed.  Sleep well, sleep tight, sleep warm, good night.

Hmm, I really... gotta say.

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Since I have been eating better, if falling back on that from time to time, something very good is happening.

Beyond surviving a very serious food pathogen thing, as if eating a merely disagreeable food rather than a potentially lethal one, there is more.  Vision is... clearing up.  It has been rough, for a while.  A year, two?  Yes.  Definitely a year.  Focus was becoming difficult.  More light helped, but... Something was just wrong.  Now I am having a return of levels of focus.  More?  That is still improving.  That liver was... it put something over the top if I had to bet.

Though things were beginning before that.  My body doesn't hurt as often, or as much.  I still hit little spells, like this morning.  But they are small things, limited in scope and volume.  Further, I think some of the hidden pain is going.  It's... not wall to wall in the background, at least not all of the time, now.  Something is just better.

Mental clarity is still a bit herky jerky.  It comes and goes.  But... connectivity between moments of clarity is... better.  I really think that will improve, it has, it is, it will.  Enough, along with the rest, to gain... regain?... a hold on my life?  To clean the house, manage animals better, manage the homestead more advantageously?  I... think so.

I am looking into cleaning materials and devices.  For the windows, for the carpets and rugs, for general household use.  I have some tools, but need chemicals, smaller and larger tool sets, and... probably skills and experience.  Of course, clearing out the house will be a priority.  Which means I need to do more boxing up, and breaking down of extra boxes, and sorting and storing... or tossing... various items.

That will take more than a return to some health, of body and mind, and clarity and memory.  It will take money, time, and a reasoned approach to the situation.  Plus, as mentioned, tools and skills, chemicals and practice.  I... am really thinking it might be possible.  Another week, or two... though starting meds might slow that...  Say, another month?  Of course, in the interim, I will be doing what I can.

I have been doing more.  Not enough more to truly pull out of the mess and get ahead.  But enough to stay ahead by enough to just barely keep up and then just a bit.  But I feel it coming, a change that could be miraculous.  So?  So more soup, more variations of probiotics, more offal, more keto, and probably... soon enough... back to intermittent fasting.  I am getting close.

Oh, for intermittent fasting?  As a starter kickoff?  The kefir whey I have been generally tossing.

Oops.

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I probably left the soup out too long.  Yes, I believe so.  A bit ill, in that certain way.  However, no where near as bad as it should be.  Why though?  Ah... kefir.  It... puts the really good stuff in the gut.  Unlike yogurt, it actually puts in stuff that fights bad things.  They colonize.  They don't take guff from pathogens.  I am sure there are limits, but this isn't it.  I am still feeling a bit off, but not nearly as bad as it normally would have been.

A nap, after lunch.  It helped too.  And, thankfully, a dose of kefir before/with lunch.  As well, for it, another dose as I wake and sit writing.  I have three jars of the stuff back in the fridge.  I used enough of that other jar, that I set it out, refilled with milk, and will let it ferment what was added.  As mentioned, I either use it until it is a third to quarter full, add milk to the two thirds full mark, set it on the counter, then when chunky, fill that last bit and put it in the fridge to slowly ferment that last bit... or... I use a third of the jug, refill it to nearly the top with fresh, then put it at the back of the line.  I am trying to figure out which way works best... and for what.  Out of the fridge will give me the most whey if I leave it out longer, and more like a cheese if I do so... or a decent kefir in a day or two.  In the fridge, if I keep up, will give me the most fresh kefir.  Though if I don't use it quickly enough, it turns into whey.  The problem is, temperature and other changes will speed or slow the kefir production, in both places, in odd ways.  I just have to keep checking and going until I get what I want.  Tricky, but well worth it.

I almost thought I could close the ducks in.  And, I probably could have, if I wished to push the indian runners in.  I just would rather not.  I figured it would be down to 36 and was nearly correct, 37 F out there, but a warm feeling 37.  The rabbits looks satisfied, comfy, and rested.  You know, when I get rabbits out there, I might put the indian runners out that way too.  Since I will have to be going out that way anyway... and the indian runners and muscovy don't really get along all that well?  I'd have to leave them out there, and inside, for a month or two... to get them acclimated to the new digs.  But it might be worth doing.  Then, as well, to figure out how to get them not to eat their eggs.  Fake eggs, of course, as well, but also a place for a broody hen or two to have some privacy.  I don't have enough indian runners to get a hen broody, but they are regular items in the spring.  We will see.  I want four more hens, and maybe one more drake.  Should do, if I will probably have to cull to get what I want.

Now to hit dishes, flip laundry, take a shower, and deal with trash and recycling.  I think I can...  Later.

Lunch was quite good.

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I added veggies to the pseudo menudo, and warmed it.  It did well.  Further, kefir was ready.  Oh, a bit tart, being at least half whey before mixing.  And, yet, sweet.  A strange thing.  Though your ability to consume may be limited by the maturity of your taste buds.  If ketchup and soda are regular items in your diet, you probably wouldn't be able to eat this kefir.

I did, and very much enjoyed it.  It is the keto version of those sweet and sour candies, actually.  After a bowl of that, I had a taco salad.  I didn't add hot pepper flecks this time.  Not every time does that interest me, this being a time to go without.  All the other spices remained, and a touch of cheddar plus diced onion... the last was also added to soup.  Onion is a joy.

Something I noticed?  If I eat very good foods, I can then have a treat, even an excess of treats, once in a while, and not run into trouble.  Still, best not to indulge.  Three bars of chocolate, when last I visited the store, large sized, were on sale.  Three for $5.  One with mild chocolate and almonds, two with toffee and almond bits, in with milk chocolate.  Those are usually $3 to $5 per, or as I remember.  Yea, well...

How do I know the body handles it?  Just... trust me.  I could tell you, but it would probably be more information than you prefer.  Still, if you really must know, there is a sass... comment... section.

Not stuffed, but sated.  Good food does that.  No, I didn't have any chocolate bars, I ate those almost immediately.  Just right food for the last full day, or so.  Still, I am tired.  I may go on to bed, take a nap.  I found a few jars, for pickling onions.  If I think the onions are in good enough shape I'll do so after the nap.  Dishes, a shower, the laundry over, a trim and maybe shave, plus trash and recycling out?  I can hope.  So tired, it is difficult to think that far.

Later.

How strange the mind.

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I kept thinking I would, eventually, get to things.  Oh, I went to get, then got, tea.  I had to go to the bathroom a few times.  I checked the temperature.  It was 40 F at around 10:00, is 44 F right at 13:00.  Mostly fussing, looking a few things over, hoping to wake and get more to things in a bit.  A bit tired, plus foggy, and with some minor portion of that morning pain.

Anyway, I decided to set up some soup, then do chores.  I... guess I have been doing a few things, only not remembering doing so.  A load of laundry is going, two smaller loads of dishes were set to go, the girls' water pan was washed and changed with a fresher one.  A few other minor tasks had been done.  I just didn't remember doing them.

They weren't done last night.  The dish water is still hot.  The laundry is going.  A few other things couldn't have been done last night.  All good.  Working without remembering is fine, as long as the jobs get done, or at least to a stage in which they won't become a problem... ie moldy clothes from being left in the wash.  The rabbits look happy.  This is probably about the perfect whether for them.  The ducks are enjoying the weather too, if they seem pretty happy with almost any weather.  And, for me, it is quite pleasant.  No need for socks when it is this warm.  Usually.  On rainy days, at this temp, yea... boots too, to keep dry.

I'll have soup in a bit, take a bit of time to let that digest.  Perhaps less time, if the kefir is good.  Most is still fermenting, but one jar is cooling.  Though that one had a lot of whey.  Not sure I will be able to enjoy it all that well?  It might be too bitter.  Will see in a bit.  And check the other kefir bottles when I go out to portion soup.

Liver, again, later this afternoon.  The only lady had it right, about bacon.  I cut my pound slab into thirds, then use the cuts.  Even for bacon and eggs, it works far better.  But for creating bacon fat, it is perfect.  Oh, I will use far less this time.  I used a quarter pound of bacon last time.  This time I will use, perhaps, an eighth of a pound... just four or five thirded slices... if in part because I will be adding butter.  Less butter, though, too.  I will only add, perhaps, a quarter stick.  I bet I added two thirds of a stick that first time.  Yea, rich.

I still have fried ground meat, crumble as I call it.  So I can't really add liver to that.  But next time I do crumble, I will add liver.  For me, half to a third is probably easily doable.  I don't mind the taste.  Though I may try different mixes, to see what it takes to make the liver invisible to my taste buds.  And, yes, I am very sensitive to liver.  It is a very different meat.

Hmm, I may have liver for dinner, actually, and taco salad for lunch.  It is a lot easier to make and I am worn out.  Though, I have to tell you, that one dose of liver?  It... improved eyesight for just a bit... or I had some fluke regarding that coincidentally.  I just don't believe in coincidences.  I would... like to get more liver in my diet, see if that was a fluke.  And, to be honest, I didn't know liver had so much vitamin A (I believe), and in a ready form so easier to digest, which is what is good for the eyes.  Carrots aren't anywhere near what liver offers, and in a form that is difficult for the body to use.  Weird, right?

Ugh... I may have the taco salad right now.  Still lunch time, mostly.  And I really want more liver, just not up to cooking it now.  As for the soup?  Why not have soup and salad?  Later.

A gently rough morning?

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That is what I am going with.  A mild headache, from a very small tight knotted ball at the base of my skull.  It isn't my whole neck and back of the head, plus shoulders and maybe upper and/or lower back.  Just that one, golfball sized knot and a minor headache directly from it.  I am learning, lately, to roll if things seem to be knotting, or hurting in some way.  A few painkillers to start the day, perhaps that will do the trick.

I sanitized the waterers last night.  A bit of bleach in one dish pan, hot clear water in another, and a rinse even after that.  Then let them air dry a bit.  Finally, refilling them.  Currently I have enough for the cages, plus.  I may sanitize the extras this today, but leave them dry this time.  Soon enough, those will have to be filled and in service.  I have just enough for each rabbit to have two, and I think enough cages for each rabbit to have their own home.  I need more, but not yet.  Part of why I am holding off switching them all around.  Ugh... always something.