Yea, right, okay.

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.

I've been awake for four hours or so.  It's running late, already 20:17.  So I wasn't awake until later afternoon.  Sleep was good, mostly.  I wore compression hose for all day yesterday, then went on to bed with it.  I needed them.  Been going better.  I think, beyond just keeping fluids out of my legs, it is somehow helping my heart.  I am peeing less, but so too drinking less.  It's working.

There are problems with it.  It does hurt to wear these.  And, yet, the pain is less than the comparable pain.  From the lack of headaches, to the lack of other, different, pains in the legs.  As well, the heart hurts a lot less and seems to work better.  It's not a matter of pain, it's a matter of which pains, where, and how those may be impacting my life... longevity... and such.  Better.

Still tired.  Still having problems.  But... seemingly better.  The cold, and dark, and probably wet... whether from melting, rain, or snow, and just the feeling that winter still hasn't really gone, are all adding to the difficulty.  As well, the sceptic tank is having problems draining.

I contacted someone, to help maybe find the tank next week.  And, am hoping to wake up tomorrow, early enough to call an office which might know where the tank is located.  I won't be able to get it emptied until I find it, and then until payday.  But, that... should be possible this coming month.

That will mean I probably can't get a larger bin here, for getting rid of things, until June?  July?  We'll see.  But, yes, I do have things planned, and a bit of a schedule in place.  However, if I can get back on my feet, I might be able to get things ready to be taken out to the bin next month.  I'd like to have, say, three or four loads down stairs, or otherwise to the frong room, and ready to go, by June, or July... the earlier the better.  

Even if it just sits there for a month, having it ready would make getting rid of things far easier.  Just have it automatically set to be picked up.  Having it ready for a month of loads.  Then, continue to get things ready to be tossed through the month.  If I can get two months of loads out, I could then clean so much easier.  And, get things packed for storage, or taking with me, should I decide on a longer path.

Renting the house?  Sure.  And maybe for cheap, just enough to cover costs while I explore the possibility of moving.  The Philippines?  Argentina?  Cambodia?  Thailand?  Some places to visit.  I could even afford the cost of paying the house, at least if utilities where being paid.  Want someone in the house.  But it has to be cleared, cleaned, and maybe a few things worked on until then.  Ugh.

Yes.  Even so, it would take a few years to get this arranged.  And have enough money to travel.  I would just create an account they pay into, for paying the mortgage.  And I would put an equal amount in, just in case they failed to pay.  Charge enough to pay mortgage and a half, and have enough of my money going in to cover simple mortgage in case needed (and the place vacated without me being told... which is why 2 1/2 times monthly is required for deposit... first, last, and deposit).  Hate to do that sort of things, but keeps the riff-raff out and makes sure they really don't want to sneak off without saying).

Can only do it this way, with the government cheating landowners these days.  Can't trust the government.  Or people.  I'll see.  But that is sort of the rough plan, as of now.  Selling the house doesn't seem possible.  So... yeah.  If I want out, that would be as close to the gig as possible.  Just keep the house until it's value increases, or it goes underwater and can be just let go... or banktrupcy... or such.

Between the government currently, and coporations getting all the handouts while being covered, there is no good way for typical people to get ahead.  Thankfully, given the small sliver of a chance I have, between income and expenses, even with inflation, I... might find a way to make do or even sneak out to where my money spends better?  I'll know in time.

In such rough shape though.  I do worry.  Can I honestly handle getting out, even if everything else worked?  Don't know.  I'll... try, push, see.  One of the benefits of getting out is the possibility of medical.  That might be helpful, or not.  Not sure, exactly.  Funny thing?  In the Philippines at least?  You can just buy medicine.  Don't need a doctor.  There are limits, but for heart medicine, if it's available, they will sell it over the counter.  And doctor visits aren't too expensive, nor is testing.

Yes, I'll... see.

I made it.

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.

They want more information.  So, next time, I will have it.  I have to find it first.  But I know I have it.  Still, I think I want to check some things out.  I sent a missive, to arrange a few interviews.  Just gotta make sure some things fit.

I did have to bust my balls, a bit, in this cold, dark, damp day, to get there.  Only to be told I need more proof.  Though, yeah, I get it.  Still, they botched my discharge papers, and on purpose.  There is a lot missing.  Even... from what they admit.

It is cold.  It was 35 or so when I returned.  While it has rained a lot, it didn't freeze (or not until recently, after returning home).  It did change from rain to snow, well above freezing.  So it didn't ice or slush the roads.  Thankfully.

So tired.  Not too sore.  Not bad, really, other than being a bit tired, having to push to get things going.  Well, and there are little problems, here and there.

I still get the idea that someone... still remembers.  Remembers some things.  Remembers me.  Though, too, I think someone still sees.  Or... seems too, leaves tracks, recalls.  Fifteen hits, on my blog, for the month.  Not sure if that is some failure in my system to block it, or... someone still visiting, from time to time.  Can't be sure.  Not sure if blocking means as much as I think, either.

Rained... raining.

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.

Yes, definitely.  It is 33 out there?  Give or take.  Coming down, currently, in sheets of very small droplets.  Looks to have been raining on and off all day?  I can't be certain.  At least it isn't snowing, or yet.  The terrible thing is that it is just on the cusp of it, and freezing.

My heart doesn't hurt this "morning".  I do have a minor headache, I think because I am congested.  Better than other options.  Blowing my nose helped.  It took a while, when changing from picking to blowing, for that to work.  And, even then, sometimes it doesn't work.  But I go with just blowing.  There are many reasons to never put your fingers in your nose.  Now, like it or not, I keep facial tissue in stock, just like toilet paper.  I would guess exercise would... help with what yet troubles me.  Or... if I were healthier?  We'll see.  Swimming, when I can start up, might work.

I had hoped to get to a smash burger today.  And, I am sure I might be able to find a place to cook, with cover overhead.  Probably.  We'll see.  I will buy regular buns, for now.  But, in time, would like to work at making my own buns.  From dough, of a keto sort... coconut, almond, and egg whites or other flours... or flour replacements.  May go more for taste than absolute lowest carbs?  Or, have two different types, so I can mix and match for various reasons.  The nice thing about burgers, smash or not, is they have no carbs.  Too bad I just can't eat them like pancakes, but it doesn't work.

Things coming up.  Trying to get up and going.  Having trouble doing so.  Did find my swimming gear, but it all needs washed.  Which I may start at today, after a shower.  Brushed my teeth, fed Sassy, changed her water, need to redo her litter.  Kefir is about ready to change out, but I need to eat some in order to make more room.  Always something.

I have been eating far less lately.  Not... from trying.  Just not all that interested in food.  Nothing tastes all that good either.  Usually a cup or three of keto, half at a time, through the day... a double or triple french press and cream, and then a food meal most days.  Though that may just be a couple of cans of sardines, or some roast and squash.

Not a fast day, but up earlier than yesterday, and several days hence?  I think so.  When I saw the time, I read 2:30, and knew it wasn't morning.  But it was actually 12:30.  In any case, I jumped out and... I wanted to be awake by no later than 14:30.  Well, I beat that, if I have a headache for the mistake.  Might have had one otherwise, if not as bad, I think.

I keep looking at expats in Argentina, the Philippines, and Cambodia.  Reviewing costs of living, complications with moving, various good and bad things about the places.  Cambodia would be tough.  Hot and humid, that's the main problem there.  Philippines would, likewise, be a hot and humid place.  Argentina can be from winter to summer, if their winters up north in the country, near their capital, are rather mild... or probably compared to even where I am living.  But, go south and I am thinking winters could be as bad or worse.

Crime and such?  About like many places in the US.  Around here?  More property crime, thieving, than else.  So, probably more crime there, but not by much in the way it would affect me.  So, similar, actually in any of those countries.  Thieving, when I am gone.  Size can matter, unless they have numbers and no eyes upon them.  To some degree, that is on you to tend.  But, can't be at home all the time.  If you have anything of value, or even food, they'll come for it.  Either clean it out, or take small amounts of anything and everything, as they do here.

In two of those countries, there is a fair chance at finding a woman, a... viable woman.  In one, they are a bit more... simply available.  In the other, they are available but more serious.  I have heard nothing of the availability of women in Argentina, so I just don't know.  Yes, I... would be looking for a woman, a wife.  Not interested in the red light zones, or just passing a woman on through.  But, not interested in just jumping in, either.  I'd want to... get to know her, trust her.  Without sex, initially.  As with here, no sex without marriage, but no marriage without spending lots of time with her, getting to know her family, and such.

I even looked at flights.  One way would be between $1k and $2k, max.  Though I think I would be required to have a flight booked in and back (if I can probably cancel the return flight if I end up deciding to stay, obtaining a retirement visa).  I would have to hit the place, on my feet, though.

I would have to get a place to stay for two weeks, up front.  Then, maybe take a day or two down, but try to get out looking for housing almost immediately.  You can probably get a decent place for $25 to $45 a day, but that is still a lot more than a rental.  A decent rental, in either country, could be as low as $200 to $500 a month, so yeah.

I wouldn't really want a pool, or gym, at the place, so will be going for the lower end on those prices.  But, that would mean finding an olympic pool to swim at, and a gym though hopefully with a trainer.  Not interested in classes.  The other thing I would spend time with is language classes.  If I am going to a foreign country, that is on me.  I may just find tutors, or language exhage operations.  Where we take turns teaching, or speaking, the other language.

Not sure if the Philippinos speak Spanish or their own tongue most?  I'll look into that.  Argentines speak Spanish, but have four or five other languages.  The Spanish they speak is unique to Argentine, more so that most S.A. countries.  Of course, Cambodians speak their own, very individual, language.  That would be the toughest to learn.

As well, moving to Argentina would be rather isolational.  I mean, moving from there, then trying to visit the Philippines or Cambodia, would be quit difficult.  While moving the the Philippines or Cambodia would make visiting the other country far easier.  Well, and a few other island, or Asian nations far easier.  I would like to visit Vietnam.  Probably not to live, but to see.  The same with Taiwan, and a number of other nations.  A month, or less, visit.  Not really... siteseeing, more... exploring what passes for the more favored, or out of the way, places.  Not as a tourist?  Not a common tourist, at least.

Do I know what I would be looking for?  No.  I may even just have to keep the house.  I may rent it, too.  Or try.  But, I could afford it being empty, and pay the utilities, which should be near nill, if need be.  But, if I could rent, even for the cost of mortgage, and not have to pay even the low utilities, that might be better.  Ugh.

So many thoughts.  I just don't know.  Would it be a new lease on life?  Or a death sentence.  I just can't know.  I hope I get to find out.  I best get going.  Perhaps some kefir, then a shower.  Then set up some dishes.  Oh, and clearing the litter box.  

Okay?

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It's a bit difficult.  I did wake around 14:30, and change.  But I have been having a lot of difficulty actually waking, so as to work.  My heart is sore, tired.  Painpills don't seem to be helping anymore.  I can't even game.  I just don't have the energy or focus.  It is very difficult.  Although I am waking up, every day, on something like a near normal cycle.  That IS something.

Often, when in this kind of shape, I can't stay awake for long.  Sleeping in several cycles a day, or simply sleeping days at a time, only waking a few hours at a time, is... what I would expect in my current condition.  The difference between then and now?  I am not taking medicine.  Medicine can help, but it can hurt too.

I think, when I used to get that way, I would end up going off medicine.  Which... is what was needed.  Then I'd have to beat myself up, try to get back on medicine, and when I finally did it, spend a month or three getting back into shape.

To be honest, I think medicine would keep me alive longer.  Just... not in a better life.  The ups and downs caused by medicine made life much worse.  As is, while I do have ups and downs, they are fare less variable.  The ups aren't for as long, nor as good.  But the downs are definitely not as deep or bad (until I die, but that would happen either way).

Still, not sure how long this down will last.  It has been in full play, pretty much keeping me pinned, for the last two weeks.  And, while that feels like a long time, the truth is, when I would go down on meds, I wouldn't even notice two weeks.  I would be down for months.  And down further.  It would hurt more, too?  I think so, if in different ways.  The heart didn't hurt, but organs, bones, muscles, and such, did.  Strange.

Yea.  I am going to attempt to dig out of things.  We will see.  Push, shove, grovel, go prostrate in prayer, work my way to things again.  We will see.  I will do what I can.

I did hear back, from the KoC, about changing the meeting date.  It didn't sound promising, but at least I was heard and the query will go forward.  One can hope.  Though, no guarantee I will be accepted into the other group yet either.  But... I will find out soon enough.  

All I can do is try.  I will fail often.  That... is what it is.  The next time, I will try again.  I won't quit trying.  When I die, then I will be finished with these efforts, and will most likely move on to other efforts.  I... don't worry.  I do what I may.  I leave some aspects in God's hands, some things in my hands, and what was as something to be forgiven or accepted.

I'll get a shower shortly.  Then make plans to do some work in the kitchen and sweeping and mopping in the bathroom and hallway.  Oh, and dishes.  I'd like to punch through at least two dishpans of those, and set up another set.  If I could catch up, and begin mostly cooking out on the griddle, life could be much easier.  And, then, I could get on to doing more in and out of the house.

Not an early rise.

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I think it was around 14:30.  Days and nights are twisting.  The cool isn't helping, if I don't think high heat would help.  If ti would gently warm, that might be good.  Not sure when I went to bed, but It was at least 3:30, if more like seven or eight?  Or later?  I... just can't be certain, save that I was easily up to 3:30.  Most likely later.

Dressed, if not very ready.  Several layers of clothes, as it still seemed cool.  Sassy fed, her litter cleared.  A bit of kefir for myself.  So tired.

Had hoped to go to church, but still had the sniffles, and could barely walk.  I missed the morning one anyway.  There is an afternoon one, but, as mentioned, the sniffles and exhaustion kept that from becoming a possibility.  Prayers.  That is what I can do.  If even that is pushing it.  Groups of smaller prayers... for the church, for the world, for people good and ill, and all the rest.  Good to pray for those who believe in the holy, better to pray for those who currently are in line to lose their souls.  Especially those who are damned, but cloak themselves in the trappings of the holy.  Prayers indeed.

I had to check.  It is, was, 61... an hour ago.  Well above the low 50s, but it sure felt cool.  Even so, I opened up windows and turned the furnace off.  I did check the furnace filter the other day.  It's still in good shape, holding well, and really not wiggling, jiggling, or otherwise causing trouble.

Now, as to diagnosing the cause of the symptoms?  I almost suspect it is a bit of pollen and a bit of a headcold.  I simply suspect it's parts of each.  A few more days and life should get better.  I just think so.  But it won't be today.  Still going through boughts of sneezing, dripping nose, congestion.  Though opening the house doesn't seem to have cause it to worsen.

I keep hoping to get back to work.  In the house, in this room, on to swimming, cleaning the Xterra... but it just isn't happening.  So very tired.  And more.  Ill.

A nice coffee.  Some kefir earlier.  I'll reset the kefir later.  I used some of the drian cleaner I got a year or two ago.  The drain is slow.  Not sure this stuff will work, will find out.  I really need to locate the septic tank, then get it pumped.  But, even now, there is still possibly too much snow out there.  And, then, I need to locate it.  I'll call a place tomorrow, which might have the location.

This coming month, or the month after.  Ugh.

Ah, but I am really cutting down on sweeteners.  All I use these days is keto stuff, but even that is hit or miss.  Straight kefir, straing coffee with cream.  No carbs, or strange sideways carb loading through the keto sweeteners.

The heart still hurts.  I'll do painpills, again, and for a while.  Hopefully, if things warm up, and I get rid of this sneezing and the sniffles, I'll be able to work again, heal a bit.  I'll see before long.

Late.

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I was awake late, so I suppose it makes sense.  Though, really?  I am doing poorly.  Feeling off, a bit ill.  I have had much worse.  Though had been doing better lately.  Frustrated with how I feel, how I am doing.  I keep trying to push through, I just can't seem to make it very far, or very well.

A bit of a headache.  So more painpills.  Trying to keep the dose lower, at this point.  But I... am trying to push through, and painpills have been helping.  The Vick's is still being used, from time to time.  As well, the diffuser.  Not sure that really helps, but it does make the place smell better.

I did eat, twice.  One normal sized meal, and a smaller one.  A bigger cup of coffee, and a couple of doses of kefir.  I reset the kefir tonight.  And hope to do it again tomorrow.

I had warmed the house to 74, but turned it down to 70 a few hours ago... at midnight?  No, 23:00 I think.  68?  70?  If I haven't turned it down to 68, I will.

I think it is time to go on to bed.  I've been thinking about the time they put me in a coma, and coming out of it.  The pain.  They say you can't remember.  And I suppose that is true.  But I can remember the horror around it.  I think that was the worst I have known.  Pain teaches patience, and other things like it.  Humility.  You never really recover, in some ways.

Even so, I am glad to have gone through it.  It... gives me empathy.  Not just for humans, for many creatures.  And for more than just physical pain.  There are people who have known far worse.  And live with far worse from that.  In one sense, that horrifies me.  In another sense, I have a form of... jealousy.  It's an odd thing.  Perhaps not as literally as that sounds?

It's all gone.

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At this point, there aren't any movies without a black in it.  There isn't an advertisement that doesn't have a black, gay, or lesbian in it.  Often that is all that is in them.

I was wondering, for a bit, if that is because the general approval was there?  I hoped not, but... couldn't quite tell.  Then it became clear.  They are trying to prevent you from watching television and movies, reading magazines, even driving cars.  They don't want you to be a party to the world as you have known it up to now.

It's... not just the common, and easily seen.  From auto companies charging far too much for vehicles, adding extra to some vehicles, or all vehicles.  That while pushing vehicles nobody wants, electric, even hybrid.  The longevity, and even fueling, of those vehicles, both in access and time required, is impossible for real people, in most situations.

The price of beef, the cost of simple things from hunting to fishing.  Everything is being made unaffordable.  Though, even too, the media, including bloggers, seem to be all government operatives.  Even the ones I thought once were at least neutral.  Nope.  They are all pretty much government operatives.  Some are the the young turks, some of the whisky pete types.  None are legit.  That includes the more extreme, on either side.  You don't have friends online.  They are all controlled, it's more a matter of by whom.  Even when they seem to be on the same side, whether it is China or Russia who owns them, rather than just being against America?  Right.  Nothing is what it seems.

As for me?  I am just looking for the truth.  This is part of what I am finding.  They are shutting you down, and shutting you up.  You don't have friends.  And, while I include myself, I am also not an able enemy.  I don't have a way to hurt you.  They do, and will.  Which... is why I don't write publicly at this point and going forward.

If I could find a way out, I would get out.  I am pulling back from  family, as they can't be trusted either.  They may be... a part of several problems.  What isn't secular seems to be atheist, even in the church.  I'm backing away from a lot of things.  I'll still have involvements, but very reduced ones.  Nothing personal.  Religious, but that doesn't necessarily include anyone in or out of the church.  It's a God thing, not a thing of fallen, and chosen to be fallen, men... and, yes, I include women in mankind.  Worse, probably.  

Looking for a way out.  But they are trying to shut you out, down, off, and under.  And doing a very good job at it.  The thing I don't think they understand is... you should be very careful what you ask to receive.  Your wishes may be the last thing you ever want to receive.  But... I can go there.  Am going there.  Perhaps you should consider giving them exactly what they want as well.  You might be amazed at how well that works out for us.

Awake a lot later.

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It was around 14:30 when I finally made it out of bed.  Oh, I... worked at it.  From 9:30 on, every half hour to few hours, I would wake and make a stab at getting up.  Only to find myself covered in blankets, tucked in, and sleeping again a while later.  I... kept aiming to wake.  It simply never happened.

When I woke, I got things going.  First a shower.  Then Sassy was fed.  Nothing fancy, but something is better than nothing.

I have been sitting, since, trying to more fully wake.  The Vick's stuff helped.  I was clear and good, until I came downstairs.  Then it all came back.  I don't know if it is because it is cool, or because of pollen?  Whatever the case, I will use more of the stuff.  Rubbing my chest doesnt' do anything.  I think it may have, as a child.  But as an adult, it has no effect.  But rubbing it under my nose, and around my mouth, does have a solid, positive, effect.  So I will continue to do that.

Oh, I did use the diffuser, with the jelly floating in the water.  Not sure that helps, but it didn't hurt.  I think I set it up again when I woke?  If not, I will.

Now to get dressed.  I had hoped to get to church.  And, technically, I still have time.  But, for one thing, I am not sure what it is I have.  If it's a headcold, or some such, I don't wish to share it around.  But, and as well, I feel too miserable to get out and be in company or to church.  Hopefully this week.  We will see.

I will dress in a bit.  I have just been sitting here, in my boxer-briefs trying to wake, or think.  Oh, and I'll turn the furnace up a bit, and ensure the diffuser is going.  Then get on up and dressed.  Sassy has been fed, her water has been cleared and cleaned yesterday, not sure but I think I even cleared her litter.  I'll check those things as I go up to dress more warmly.

It's a difficult day.  I'd love to get to mass, but I can barely stand, or think with this congestive headache.  And... whatever else is wrong.  Hmm... painpills, and waterpills.  Not a lot of either, or the heaviest of painpills.  Just... a little something something.  The waterpills might even help dry up the dripping from the nose?  Not sure.  Just, mostly, keeping up on fluid removal if I am getting close to being good on that again.

---------

A quick check and... yes.  Pollen, of some sort, is sitting between moderate and very high?  Don't they just have a "high" level?  Whatever.  So, that may well be the problem.  I'm usually not hit by that, but perhaps just certain types?  Well, and as I get older?  I'll be getting better furnace filters soon.  That might help.

Oh, and a funny thing.  The temp given was colder than what I read on my outdoor thermometer.  I think that is the first time I have seen that in... years.  Usually it is five to fifteen degrees warmer... their suggested temp compared to the real local temp.  Only two degrees lower, but still.  The first time since I have been living here and tracking!  What, five, seven, years?  If it had just been a few degrees, that would have been one thing, even if always higher.  But five to fifteen degrees off, an every time?  Hmm... not sure if they are just being lazy about lying, or if... they are beginning to refuse to lie?

---------

Dressed, food getting warmed, heat up, deffuser going...  temp checked.  Dunno.  It's not a bad start.  Oh, kefir being consumed.  I'll get some waterpills and painpills down, then sort of... figure out my day.  Dishes set up, since I have showered.  The kitchen sorted out.  Freezertop, since it is cleared, washed.  Hopefully I can get the kitchen and bathroom back to ready for hitting this week.

If I am in any kind of shape tomorrow, I will attempt to make it to mass.  But if I still have the sniffles, am still sneezing, and with a headache, I just won't go tomorrow.  Just in case it is a headcold or some such ugly thing.  Some things I just don't wish to share.  

Oh, but I did ask why the knights had changed their meeting night.  It used to be the second.  It now conflicts with another men's meeting I may be attempting to attend.  We'll see.  It would be nice if I could attend both meetings monthly.  We'll see.

I'll get on to... something... after dinner and digesting it.

Headcold?

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.

The sniffles.  Bad.  I thought, perhaps, it was dust.  Maybe the furnace filter had again broken loose, which might have caused a lot of dust to be released, or stirred up.  The problem?  Sassy is as sensitive to dust as I am, and she hasn't been sneezing or sniffling.  No, that wasn't it.

I suspect I just had the window open, and the air was too cold.  That and having been walking around the cold house nearly unclothed much of the day.  Between the two, and this morning, I think I caught something.  I have been sneezing, snotting, and else all day.  Plus, now, I have a mild congestive feeling headache.

I will take some painpills.  Not sure what to do about the congestion.  Vicks?  I wonder if I still have some around somewhere?  I think I have some.  That is what my mother would do.  When a child, she would rub it on our chests, and under our nose.  Unless she had a vaporizer.  Though, if she had one, she would use that and coat us with the stuff.  She did what she knew to do, and knew... quite a lot.  Having been poor, on a farm.  And having her mother die when she was just a young teen, she had learned how to tend family, animals, and herself even really.

I'll check.  I do regret her upbringing.  I know her dad did what he could do, and they all did what they could do.  But it is tough to do it with a missing parent.  Especially, I should think, a mother for a girl.

Last time I looked, it was 38 out.  While that seems warm, it... was a rather cold spot for that given temperature.  Almost feeling wet out there.  I suppose as snow melts, it is wet.  Though there may be more moisture being brought in on the wind as well.  It feels like it.  Which it what probably got to me.  It isn't the temperature, it's the cold, damp, dark.  Even when the sun is out, it... seems shadowy yet.  At least on cooler days.

Very strange.  I may, even so, open the window a crack tonight.  Just not fully open, as it was yesterday night.  Having showered, and dressed... warmed... today, perhaps I'll be in better shape.  Well, and the Vick's, if I have it.  If I could find the smaller candles, I might try vicks in the difuser.  But, as is, the candles I have availabe require a refilling of the difuser, or the candle to...  Hmm... I could put it up, and slather the stuff on, and just give it some time before going to bed.  Blowing out the candle on my way?  Sure.  Sure.

An odd day.

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.

I didn't get back on to bed until later in the morning, perhaps ten?  Eleven?  Then I slept until early afternoon, around 13:00 to 15:00.  It was rough.  I was cold.  I had, when I was awake earlier, dressed only in my boxer briefs.  While I had turned the furnace up, I had yet become chilled to the bone.

I used the electric blanket while napping, to very little effect.  When I woke, I took a shower almost immediately.  Even that didn't help a great deal.  After the shower, I added compression thighhighs, warm leggings, socks, sweats, a long sleeve t-shirt, a long sleeve heavy cotton shirt, and boots.  Even then, I really haven't warmed completely.  Even with the furnace up.

Couldn't do much work, but I did make a meal.  Since I have tator tots, I used them.  I also used up the french fries yesterday, the last of them.  I added the remnants of the beef broth, from the baked beef from yesterday.  Then I sliced a piece of the beef off, and put that in for the last half of the finishing of the tator tots.  Not the healthiest, but it worked.

A coffee, as well.  And, through the earlier and later stints awake, several cans of water.  I'll probably have a solid dose of kefir yet tonight.  Perhaps resetting the rest of it yet tonight, or tomorrow morning.

The freezertop is clear.  But I need to wipe it down.  Perhpas set up dishes for the morning as well.  Then set up the reverse osmosis countertop device, stick blender station, and leave the rest ready for clean dishes tomorrow.  I have also emptied a bag of recycling.  While I will put that out shortly, that doesn't go out until next week.  I might have a bag of trash to go out this weekened, but only one so won't bother taking it to the curb.

The shower was good.  Draining slowly, but the tub is clean.  If I can set up a couple of tubs of dishes tonight, I hope to hit them tomorrow, then get another shower.  I love showers.  Especially if I have missed taking one in a while.  Even two or three days, these days, seems like a forever ago.  Need them?  Maybe not.  But I sure like them.  I'd love to get to where I could bath once a week as well.  Two showers, and a bath, would be wonderful.  And, with short hair, washing my hair while bathing won't be such a mess.

I decided not to cook and bake the pork tenderloin today.  But I did dice garlic and add mustard, both of which I realized this morning I had forgotten.  All good.  I'll see about doing it tomorrow.  If it smells okay.  Should, but... I'll definitely give it a sniff test.

No word, call, or text, from anyone.  All good.  I am used to being alone.  And, of course, no... or few... visits.  Still not sure if the few visits which post are somehome my visits getting through, or one of the people who were given access.  I just can't be certain.  But the indicators make me suspect it is from someone, possilby, using a program to hide them... to whatever degree that really works.  Works for me, but I know nothing.  No comments, but that... isn't unusual either.

I think a bit more water, perhaps with electrolyte powder and vinegar.  That really cuts thirst... when it's needed.  Otherwise it's... annoying.

Down late, up early.

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Not sure how long I will be awake.  I woke up right at six.  Too little sleep.  Not sure why.  I did leave the window open up there, and had the furnace set to 68.  I slept comfortably in nothing.  I do that from time to time, just to... do it.  Traffic was heavy, earlier.  But had tapered when I woke.  I think I even heard a train in the distance.  As weather has cleared, sounds carry much more robustly?  Yes.

I probably will go on back to bed.

Still, even when sleeping, I am planning on working today.  Later.  Dishes, a shower, maybe a load of laundry?  Well, and cleaning in the kitchen.  I've let the place fall back down.  I want to at least clear it, cleaning what dishes I can do.  The last week has been a serious fall.

The teasing, of spring, then the lapse back into winter, has been difficult to negotiate.  Not honestly sure I can push through, but that is the goal anyway.  Seems cool again today.  I closed the window beside my bed.  Though it really wasn't cold up there, at 59 or 61?  But will be warmer with the furnace set to 72.

Oh, but a bit of a headache.  I think that is why I am awake.  I'll hit the painpills, then try to sleep a bit while that works.  I never did take painpills for the heart.  It was at the edge of bedtime, and, well, it can get that way these days.  Waking up it is okay, other than the headache.

On back to bed for a while.  I just hope I can dream more of work, then get to it when I wake.  

Awake late.

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It is nearly 1:00... seconds to go.  I just couldn't get to sleep.  I had the furnace to 74, from about 14:00 until 17:00.  Then turned it down.  I had hoped that would get me to bed earlier.  Not so much.  It remains 68 up here, in the front room, though with the curtain open from back to front.  I had hoped it would cool more.

I checked outside, guessing itm ust still be in the 40s or maybe had risen to the 50s.  It is mid April.  But, no.  Last I checked it had dropped to 29?  Or 27.  Freezing temps.  No precip, or yet, or that I could see or tell.  But the world is different this year.  Who knows.

I did get the pork tenderloin marinading.  Forgot to add mustard, but that happens.  I think I got everything else in.  Then, got it wrapped so that the marinade coated and surrounded the roast.  We'll see how it turns out.  Tomorrow?  Or the day after.  It smelled good.

The beef roast was delicious.  I have to admit, it was really good.  Yes, it has been wrapped and put up for tonight as well.  I'm really not eating much these days.  A meal, or two, very light, of late.  It's something.  Well, and kefir and coffee, once or twice a day each.

Rather tired though.  I will take painpills as I go to bed.  The heart is... at it again.  And I'll hit waterpills tomorrow morning.  I didn't use them the last few days, either of the types or kinds.

I won't open both windows upstairs, but I will crack open the window nearest me.  If it gets too cold, I will close it down.  I turned the furnace down to 70, may lower it to 66 tonight?  Sure.

Hoping to hit dishes tomorrow, and get a shower taken.  I put in my order for dairy.  And let them know I am running late, so may not be awake early.  I did use the infuser tonight.  It helps.  Ugh.  It's what I can do, for now.  Works to mollify the bad odors, but doesn't really fix the problem(s).  I'll keep looking at solving that.

Perhaps more work tomorrow.  I can hope.  Goodnight. 

Not much.

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I am just not able to do much.  Today, yesterday, probably tomorrow.  As is, I am just hoping to make it to mass this Saturday.  That is the next thing I am hoping to do.

Tired?  Cold?  I did turn the heat up.  I am making food.  But it's not much.  I can't stand long, or do much when standing.  The nice thing about, say, baking a roast?  I can set it up... salt, pepper, and let it stand for an hour.  Then, turn the oven on, let it warm up.  Sit, maybe read, watch, or write.  Then, when the alarm goes off, go put it in, then check the temp every forty five to twenty minutes.

I did clean the freezertop off yesterday.  And I put some of the forzen meat in there into the smaller freezer, so that I have a better variety of meats more easily available.  I am hoping to hit some dishes this evening, or tomorrow.  No promises though.  I have caught back up on water, or had.  I'll need to get some work on that, maybe tonight.

But, not much is happening.  I just... can't get going.  But, while sitting, I am looking.  Recipes, ideas.

Didn't wake until 11:30.

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In part because it got rather cool.  It was 52 when I first started attempting to wake, say at 9:30?  All I could do was roll back in to the blankets and try to warm.  Now, 52 isn't horrible, if I am used to it.  But, when it has be 61 to 64 for the last week, it sort of took me by surprise, and took me down.

I finally was able to wrestle my way awake.  Then downstairs.  It was in the low 50s downstairs, too.  So I shut the house up and turned the furnace up.  I did leave one window open upstairs.  But shut off the vent and closed the door.  Fresh air up there is nice.  I'll probably shut the window up there, and open the door, a few hours before bedtime.  While I won't shut the furnace off, I will turn it way down.  To, say, 66 or so.

Oh, and it snowed.  It even covered the driveway.  At least initially.  But it seems to have warmed to 32 outdoors, and the driveway has mostly melted off.  It remains overcast, and quite chill.  It could snow more today or tonight.  Very hard to believe it is April 13th.  I suppose, here, there, I have seen snow in April.  But, usually just a bit of snow, that might last a day, two tops.

I have heard, from the oldtimers from hereabouts, that they did get cooler weather back in the day.  Oh, I believe it.  Iowa seemed colder, wetter, snowier, when I was younger.  And, after some review, we were getting hit hard in those years.  Not just Iowa, or Utah, but on to the east coast.  Back when they were suggesting the beginning of a new ice age.

Truth is, they were probably more correct.  It just has nothing to do with people.  The sun is... sputtering.  It does that.  It can create these things.  It's about the only thing with that much energy to do so.  Just a percentage point higher or lower power output and we could be ended.  Or something like that.  And, it... is lowering, again.

But I wouldn't worry.  Do your best, do what you can, and live or die as it has to be.  There are worse things than death.  I... think those are more to be of concern.  We'll see.  I guess.  Still, more snow?  Probably an inch or three?  Strange.

Now, as I have mentioned, I don't think humans can change the weather.  What we can do, possibly, is influence where the jetstreams and such go... both directly and inderectly.  I am guess China has shut down industry, for the most part.  And, Russia and Europe in general, are all... changing what and how they are functioning, for various reasons.

The US stopped manufacturing, for the most part, long ago.  We shipped it overseas.  With that being shut down, and moved around beyond even that, plus Europe at war and shutting down for fuel shortages and else?  Things are... going to change.  However, the real mover is the sun.  And it is on vacation.  The rest is just deciding what will get hit, when, and how hard.  Dealing from a diminished deck.

A few things.

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I did get the refrigerator, mostly, cleared out.  Looked around for the pump sprayer, couldn't find it.  Looked everywhere.  Gone.  May have to order or go out and buy another.  If I can find a similar price locally, calling around, I'll buy locally.  I don't want to wait two or three weeks for delivery.

Then I made eggs and else.  Wasn't nearly as hungry as I thought I might be.  Didn't eat more than a few bites.  I need to toss the fries, and get hashed potatoes to fry.  Eggs are easy enough, no matter how you might want to cook them.  And, I would guess pancakes would be easy out there too.  Especially if you are already used to using carbon steel pans.  Just, griddles are a lot easier.  No curves, wide areas.  Sure, you have to do some spatula work, in order to zone the food.  But that really isn't much work.

As to leveling the griddle, you don't want it flat level.  Or, I don't.  I want it leaning toward the oil trp and catcher.  I want it leaning that way fairly well.  It makes it a lot easier.  I have no problem cleaning the the top, and oiling it lightly for the next run.  Really, it does well with a bit of a lean.

I haven't gotten to work on the freezertop, or not much.  I did a bit.  But, time ticked by while searching for the insecticide spray bottle.  I am hoping to hit it just shortly.  Then set up some of the dishes.  Not perfect, but I think I can get some things done.

It was back down to 46 by the last time I came in.  Not exactly cold, but certainly not warm.  I dress warmly enough that it isn't a problem.  And, as yesterday, will leave the windows open just a crack tonight again.  Fresh air is wonderful.  And, since I can handle the cool, and it doesn't really get all that cool, life is good.  I wonder if the fresh air is helping with the heart pains.  Maybe.

Well, on to a bit of something to sip.  Then to the freezertop and setting up some dishes.  Maybe to it a bit tomorrow.  I really need to do some more work.  There are smells in the house.  Probably a mouse somewhere, or... something like that.  I've been looking, need to take things apart and look more closely, and everywhere.  Frustrating.

Ah.

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After looking around, reading back, and thinking... coming up with nothing, I noticed a bug.  Some sort of beatle, crawling along the wall.  Yes, that is what I was looking for.  I have a pump pressurizing spray bottle, and various sorts of bug spray which are supposed to work on the bugs.

They are at the front door.  As the weather warms, they begin to come out.  They collect where it is warmest.  Which, for me, happens to be the front, south facing, door.  But, if I spray, if the stuff works, they go away.  The stuff, which was successful but can't be found anymore, worked for two to three months.  I am thinking that taking care of this now would get me half through the summer.  Further, the stuff stays in the bottle fairly well.  Though, really, I may clean it out and leave it dry anyway.

Now that I know what I am lookign for, I just need to find it.  Perhaps clean it out.  With the temps being above freezing, and no lower than forty the last few days and up to fifty, the hydrant should be working.  Making cleaning of the the pump sprayer easier.  Though, too, I thought I bought some more, sprayers, because I thought the other one had been lost or tossed.  We'll see.

Now to get to things.  I'll look for the old, or a new, sprayer.  But just find it and get the insecticides ready.  Then I'll do some work in the kitchen.  Hmm, actually I will look through the fridge, first.  Get that sorted.  Then look for the sprayer(s).  Then back to clearing and cleaning the freezertop.

Maybe lunch, after cleaning?  Perhsp an omelet, and fries.  Nothing fancy, just something tasty.  I have non-hydrologized beef fats to use, now, as well as coconut oil.  Both are good.  We'll see.  Yes, potatoes aren't the best.  But, like I said, it helps get me into the practice.  I'll... begin seeing what else I can use.  Though, if they have been cooked, first, then frozen, they... might be useful for keto as well.  Not perfect, but not bad.  May have to look for fries and hashbrowns which have been cooked first, for sure?  I'll... see what I can find.

Well?

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A very minor start.  I reset kefir.  The grains are multiplying well, again.  Almost enough to skim some off.  But, being that I am keeping the house cooler, I'll let them grow a bit longer, see if I can double them again in the next two days.  The milk from last week smelled off.  Would have been good to drink, but not to make kefir with.  I have become particularly picky about that after having to restart several times.

No, I will be careful going forward.  If the milk doesn't smell exceedingly fresh, I will dump it.  If the jars smell off?  I will change them out, big or small.  I will break my balls to make sure I have fresh milk, so as to let them ferment no longer than forty eight hours and more like thirty six hours or even twenty four hours, as it heats up.  May have to put the fermenting jars in the fridge in the hotter days, to keep that from fermenting too fast... part of the days.  Maybe during the hot parts of the days.

There was something else I was going to do.  Some piece or part I meant to look for.  I just can't remember what it was.  I looked around, hoping upons spying it I would remember.  But that didn't work.  I'll look back at my morning post.  I hate forgetting but it happens.

Next I am hoping to do a bit of sorting in the refrigerator and beginning in on some dishes.  Plus clearing and cleaning the freezertop.  It isn't too bad, but needs some clearing, and cleaning, from making guacamole and steak tartare.  Some things just remain, ingredients, whole.  Though some are partial, and may need to be tossed.  But the whole thing needs cleaned too.

I want to do the fridge, first, to see what is in there for cooking.  So I can decide if anything needs to be taken out of the freezer.  I'd really like to get to smash burgers.  But don't want to pull meat to thaw if I have too much good meat already out and thawed.  Trying to order my actions so as to not have to go back, and for example clear, clean, reset the freezertop only to have to remove everything to get back in for needed meats.  Oh, may put frozen meat from that freezer into the fridge freezer, so as to not have to do that in a few days or week too.  Not sure I have burger in the little freezer.  Ugh... orderliness is not a simple thing.

After dealing with that, I would like to get to dishes.  Just set up a couple of dish pans.  But, really, getting near to finishing those.  Nearly caught up.  Fell behind just a bit, with the recent spate of cooking and else this week.  Though the fall has been small, and should be able to be made up quickly.  If... I can make a scramble at various efforts.

Oh, I also want the freezertop open so as to more easily clearn the kitchen table... have a temporary spot for things... but also so that I can blend the dry ingredients for keto breads, rolls, and such.  And get those stored and away.  I would like to be able to just pull a cup or three of that blend, add some eggs, water, cream, or whatnot, then maybe cook it right on the griddle... figure that out.  So that having keto buns for burgers, or bread like slices for blt's, and the like.  Or maybe keto pancakes.  I just need to get space to blend those various things, and begin trying them out.

I best get to it.  Fed Sassy twice.  Should check her litter box.  Her water was refreshed yesterday, so it good.  It was up to 46 last I looked.  The sun is coming out in spits and spats, last I looked.  But didn't seem to be pushing.  Though, who knows.  It may clear off and just shine down at any time.  It's cool in here.  But the air is so clean.  I'll take the trade, for now.  On to it.

Up at 9:30.

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A bit later.  Yesterday was some effort and stress.  So... okay.

I left the house mostly open.  It was 64 near me, when I woke up, 59 in the main of the upstairs, 58 in this front room, 61 in the center of the house, and 66 in the back (north end) of the house)?  Yes, but... strange.  Everything is staying open.  Outdoors it is 40 and overcast.  I sort of expected it to be in the freezing range, with as cool as it is in the house.

Then again, while the furnace was clean off the first time, I think it only went down to 62 last night?  The furnace setting that is.  Not sure if it clicked on or not.  With everything shut, it may have held heat more than it did last night, with the furnace definitely off and windows open.

I am dressed more warmly today.  Not planning on doing too much.  Maybe a shower, and more dishes at least set up.  Perhaps some food items to the basement.  Maybe sweeping in the bathroom and hall.  Today is, mostly, a rest day.  I need it.  I have been to church, or shopping, or working, or to town, for this or that, every other day or so, for the last two weeks.  I... need a breather, a little time with only small tasks.

I don't want to just stop.  And I don't hurt as bad as I had been, no painpills today.  I don't even think I will use water pills today.  But I don't want to push too hard and get back to that place.  That has been difficult.  Though, too, I don't want to lose my place in line.  I want to continue getting ahead in life, on the house.

The thing is, getting to it, sometimes.  I can't work for long stints.  Heck, in my current state, even gaming for very long isn't likely.  I end up drifting around, looking for something, anything, new online.  And, while it seems easy enough to just move on, do something, even just sort things in a corner, that all... from realizing and deciding, to doing, takes a lot of energy.  More than you might suspect.

Still, that is sort of the goal.  Doubt if I can to it all the time, every time.  But to do it more often... every other, or third, time, might work well enough?  It's a goal, a hope, a plan.  It will fail horribly, and be terribly successful at other times.  But, it is a forethought idea I'm trying to keep in my head.

To start, though, and usually in the mornings, I need to drift, surf, float around... while waking.  It's just... sort of like my psychic coffee.  Give it an hour or two.  Then see what else I can be about.  While consuming kefir and my actual coffee.  Yea.  I'll get to some small things today.

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Oh, a dream, and more.  The dream was about a real conversation.  It became known, to another, that I was single.  And, the comment I receieved was... it can be very good to be single, because women are... complicated? messy? trouble?  Something along those lines.  And, by... someone who in saying that surprised me, in a number of ways, from several different angles.

No, I... don't disagree with him.  I didn't disagree with him, to his face, or in my mind, or since.  Women are trouble, and mean to be.  Or... can't help not being trouble.  They cause trouble, they look for trouble, they create trouble when it doesn't exist in nature.  They have to be perpetually unhappy, and try to drag most other people into trouble with them.  And, then, seem surprised they are... in some sort of mess, or three, or ten.  They collect, and juggle, troubles.

And Lord be with you if you begin solving those troubles!  They want their toils, difficulties, exasperations.  They love those more than anything else.  Yes.  Women are, and choose to be in, trouble.  My last woman wanted me to to never say that.  Which... I ignored.  If she wants troubles, I will not deny her, even should she ask it.

Still, even with that?  I enjoy women.  I just... don't care, about their troubles.  I don't take it personally, nor try to correct, I just won't let her bring them into my part of our life.  That is what sex is for.  To some small degree.  I mean, other than a very intimate showing of affection, bonding, having children, and... just mutual or singular pleasure.

So, while I agree, I just don't care.  I think a lot of guys take it personally.  Or get too involved.  While men and women couples need to be a part of each others lives, their partner isn't their whole life.  That's where a lot of guys go wrong.  Trying to fix what ain't, technically, broken.  She wants her misery, leaver her to some of it.  Only if it interferes with your wants and needs.  If so, then clean, clear, lock, load, and deal with it so that either she never brings you a problem, or you fix it good and well enough that it doesn't present again.  Usually she will get the hint, and keep any favored problem out of your areas of operation.  Or passify the presentation with sex, so that you tire before solving it... if she really needs to share it.

Yea, part dream, part thinking about it after, part realizing the actual conversation.  Look, women really are trouble.  From toes to ass to tits to brain, and everywhere inbetween.  But, they are also a gift from God.  Much as any pain, or joy.  Or... mixed bag especially.  Pain teaches, like nothing else.  Pleasure, and potential, and procreation, are terribly wonderful graces.  Yea, I... enjoy women.

As I told him, and others, I just need to find one who isn't married already.  Or doesn't have a hoard of kids for one or several past guys.  Or... such.  And, who can and will have children.

Will it work?  As I am going to suggest to someone who is thinking about all this?  The world is a hard, dark, mean, place.  If you are thinking of going there, finding a lover with whom to have children, and then trying that?  Best go that way with God.  Even then, your faith will be tested.  But going there without God is a harder path still.  No matter how much easier it seems.  What was it Luther told his mother, when she thought of following him?  Ah... living without the church isn't so bad, dying outside of the church is.  Or... some such.  Yea, don't even bother if you go Godless.  You'll regret it, for there are things worse than death, by far.  I've been there.  Live there now, to a degree, but with God, all things are possible.

Bedtime.

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It's 19:08.  The windows have been open since I returned.  Yet, oddly, it is 70 degrees up in the front room.  I did shut the front door, more because the light was so intense.  Not quite used to the sun being out in full, or part really, as of late.  While the sun is unobstructed by clouds, there is... something... in the air.  Like fall or early spring days.  I suppose it could be considered early spring, but that doesn't feel like what it is.  It could be a mild inversion.  That is when smog, dust, and other air pollution gathers along the mountain front, but can't quite escape... so makes the air a bit bad, and obstructs some of the sun... more or less depending on the season.

Anyway.  Even with that, it was a bit bright, for my eyes.  We haven't had much sun, until the last few days.  Now it's like around 7:00 to 19:00?  Well, it might have an half hour or hour longer before technical sundown.  But, in the valley, it depends on where you are.  Being in the middle, I think we get a bit more morning and evening than either edge.

I think I will have to send a card, to the young woman who has been working on my feet.  I just couldn't say a right goodbye.  I... just don't, anymore.  But I don't want to leave it just there.  Not that she really cares, most likely.  But... I do.  Do things, you suspect are right, for your own reasons.  Sometimes it does mean something.  And, to a degree, I think it will for her.  Not... exactly as I sense them, but.  No... not meaning I have a thing for her, other than, say... as a cousin, in all seriousness.  I enjoyed her company, and will miss her.  That's... all.  So, yeah, I'll... look, next time I am in town.  And put a little money in there, for her to start out with a few extra coins in her purse on the next stages of her life.

I think I will only partly close the house up.  It is 45 outdoors, 68 in the main of the house, and 70 up here in the front room?  Crazy.  Yes, the furnace has been off since... 15:00?  At the latest.  And three five windows were open, plus the front door for a while.  And the door to the upstairs, where two of the windows were open, so there was a complete flow through the house.  Hmm...  All good.  I'm curious how cold it will get tonight, leaving everything open, if only part way, save the front door?  I'll find out.  If it gets too cold, I'll sort it out.

I had worried I would freeze to death in bad situations, but that just doesn't happen.  Not that it couldn't, only I would be awakened by the dreadful cold before it would kill me. Enough to give me a chance at survival, in a bad situation.  But, the house just doesn't get that cold.  Or, not when it is even in the 20s outside, and things are open, with the furnace off.  I doubt if it will get into the 20s tonight.  This house is true old tech.  I am sure it has limits, but... it is impressive.  I may begin experimenting with how cold I can let it go, without freezing pipes.  And, possibly, what I could use to warm it to a liveable standard, with the minimum of various fuels and heat sources.  Next winter.  If I am still here.

I... got a card, from a house buying consortium.  Always make it sound like a family operation, but... it's not.  Still, I called.  Most likely not going to get what I want, but I placed the call, put out my minimum, on a sliding basis.  We'll see.  I am almost positive they won't come near to my asking.  So...  But, that's not a problem either.  I can stay here for... a very long time.  It's tight.  Utilities, mortgage, saving for a bit more, this, that, the other thing.  Death by a thousand stings, really.

It depends on where in South America or Asia I go.  Having an income would be okay, but not enough.  Would want some serious cash for... any contingency.  Plus, would finish up some local business, pay off any and all outstanding debt, etc.  Being a guy, I can live cheaper than with a family or even with a woman.  Could seek a woman, there.  Probably not from the expat community.  That just doesn't work out.  American and European women are... what they are.  Beside too expensive, just... something wrong with them.

What was it?  Is it that they don't care if they lose, or if they don't want to win?  When having a family equals the true win, definitely American women aren't there.  They want to... have fun, go dancing... maybe drinking, date new guys, have sex with new and exciting and exotic guys.  Anything but be a wife, housewife, lover, mother, cook, dishwasher, or even be in charge of that.  I get it.  But... that's just... not what I'm into anymore.  Probably too late for me, but... you never know.

Not looking for hookers, easy women, booze, and else though.  Legitimately looking for a good woman.  A single, solitary, other side, partner, thing.  Impossible, probably.  But, I keep checking.  If they ever come up, I could go away.  I think it would be a win-win, for all of us, too.

Anyway... it's about bedtime.  I haven't gone through the fridge.  May do so on my way.  Just... check, and chuck.  Prep, idea wise, for tomorrow... for food.  With the bathtub clean, perhaps dishes set up in the morning.  I don't have much else to do this week, out.  I would like to swim, and get to mass, but I... can't... not this week.  So, I will try to do dishes, hit the kitchen floor and table, maybe clear the hallways.  Then make it to mass on Saturday.  Ugh.

At least my brother and mother called today.  I'm not sure what was wrong, if anything, on any end.  It is just that neither had called, and I had tried.  I... just... wore out trying.  So Just stopped.  Had to.  Get so weary, being set aside too often.  Life is hard, sometimes.  Too hard.  So... I rest, back off, hide away.

Some things.

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I got the bath tub cleaned.  A first go at it anyway.  Some just plain elbow grease, some runtime with the drill and brushes for it, and a mix of chemicals and other tools.  It took two or three big runs and a few small ones, plus using the plunger several times.  It still isn't draining all that well, but it is draining.  Drained, now.  Slow to drain, but... for now it is what it is.

My brother called today.  I was... surprised to hear from him.  He is, was about to, received the nubs for new teeth.  But, those won't go in right away.  It will take at least three to six months?  Or so I thought I heard.  They have to make sure the bone grafts to the parts being installed.  Ugh.

We had a good talk.

I think I know why he hadn't called.  Nothing I did, mostly.  But, the items I sent him?  He hadn't used.  Too busy, too ill, to etc.  Fine.  And, yes, I have hidden from such things before.  I get it.  Hopefully he will look these up on y.t.  The installation is easy.  And it really keeps the drains from clogging up, down further in.  It catches hair and other things, making it easy to clear.  But... that's... up to him.

Shortly after he hung up, my mom called.  Didn't talk long, and I had to go.  They are hitting 80 out there.  She didn't want to brag, but I told her how much snow we have still out there, and that an 80 day would spell serious trouble.  So, no need to worry about bragging, just enjoy it, was my idea.  She even got a very light first sun burn while sitting out sunning this morning.

She is going to visit my brother.  I am a bit nervous about here trip, as is my brother.  She turns 81 this year.  Still, okay.  I wouldn't ever want to have to turn her down.  It will be difficult, but I... will just say a little prayer for her, them.  Would rather die living, myself.  So if that is the way it would go, I won't naysay.  Though more hoping it just goes without a hitch.

Then a shower, and on in for the pedicure.  The young woman will be moving on.  Found a guy, a new place to live, considering her future a little more solidly.  I hope she does well.  The pedicure was quite fine.  I didn't say goodbye, rightly.  I was a bit shaken.  I will leave a care, later, before she goes.  I'm not good at goodbyes.  Hopefully I can make her cry, from a distance.  :)

It got to 50 today.  But we still have some fields full of snow.  Not terribly deep, but right down here in the valley.  Lots, in town, and fields, in the country.  It is amazing.  I have the upstairs airing, and opened up the downstairs a bit when I returned.  I even opened the door to the upstairs so the whole place can have air movement throughout.

I had a burger on the way home.  Wasn't really up to cooking.  Won't do much else today.  Maybe not tomorrow either.  But, there is hope to get to some things Thursday and Friday.  Clearing the kitchen table.  Sweeping and mopping where I can.  Clearing the hallways and kitchen floors in prep for sweeping and mopping those.  It's a lot of work.  I will have to push, a few days, to get those things done.  But it is possible, maybe even by Sunday.

I need to check my refrigerator.  To see what is in there, what is still good.  What needs to be cooked, and whether that has gone bad.  And, just... clearing.  Gotta do it.  Maybe I will get to that today.  Maybe.  Hmm, need to get my shoes off, let the feet cool after the treatment then socks and shoes.  At least until they get too cool?  I'll see.

Nope.

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Not feeling well.  The heart is in a bit of trouble.  Just is.  I called the V.A., to see if they still require the mask.  They do.  So... that is that.  I had hoped, but not been reassured, that the end of the "Pandemic Emergency", or whatever they were calling it, would end the mask mandate at the V.A.  Nope.  So, I just... get to live until I die, as is.  On the good side, it... may not be long.

It is rough.  Right now, the littlest things exhaust me.  Even so, I can't sleep.  So I get to be awake, in misery.  It really feels like my heart is being squeezed, nearly to my death.  Just the way it is, and will be from now on.

I did a bit of work in on the bathroom.  The tub.  It needed, still needs, cleaning.  I got a good bit of work on it.  But it needs more.  The problem is it isn't draining well.  With snow still to two foot, at the first of the month, I didn't bother with trying to find the septic tank.  Perhaps, if things continue to melt/thaw, I'll find it this month and be ready to get it emptied this coming month.  I can hope.

Until then, I just... have to deal with a slow draining system.  Though, not all drains are slow.  So, maybe, there is just something in this one line?  Dunno.  I will work on that, too.  To see if I can open it up.  I have some drain stuff, which might work... worked last time.  Ugh.

I'm going to hit it one more time.  Then showering should be easier.  Better.

Awake, at 6:30.

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Went to bed around 22:00?  22:47 I think, exactly.  Lights out then.  Right.  It was still 63 up there?  Strange, but okay.  That is warmer than usual, by far.  It has been 57 up there, unless the furnace isn't on, then it dropped to 52 that one night.  So... why so warm?  The ground must be thawing.

Still, because of that level of warmth, I opened the window.  If it got too chill, I decided, I would notice.  And I could shut the window, and maybe turn the electric blanket on.  But that didn't happen.  The coolest I saw it get was 62, just as I was waking.  The fresh air, however, was splendid.

I got up, got dressed, got down.  I won't feed Sassy for a bit.  Say, at eight.  I need to shower before too long as well.  I checked the temp outside, 27 F.  I came back in, decided to turn the temp up.  Can't remember what I put it to before bedtime, 68, 70?

The furnace had tripped off.  While I set the heat up, I forgot to hit "hold"?  Something.  Because it was off.  The house was sitting at 62 F?  Strange.  But, whatever.  I set the furnace up a bit, then set hold.  I may turn it down later.  This house is... interesting.  With a small family, I am not sure a furnace is required?  It would be chill, but not freezing?  I mean, it IS freezing outside, but even without heat for all of a day, and a window open upstairs, it... was 62 at the coldest?  Quite a... thing.  Not a modern house design, that's for certain.  One might even call it magic.

More painkillers.  Something is still a bit off.  Hoping to get through it in a bit.  But, for now, I'm... babying things a bit with painkillers and waterpills.

I'm trying to think why I woke?  Well, I... am leaving the curtains open, just a bit.  Which did let the morning light in.  And, with the window open, I got not only fresh air, but sound.  At about five, I suspect, traffic begins to shoot by.  By six, it is a steady stream.  And the sun is just beginning to peak over the range.  Not full, blazing, but... sneaking toward the starting line.  Going to bed a bit earlier didn't hurt.  I think it was a combination, of fresh air, sun, traffic sounds, and being to bed earlier.  Well, and not having pushed myself so hard yesterday.

I have been pushing.  Last week, the week before.  I really can't do well hitting that many cylinders with so many problems.  Oil leaks, cylinders not firing in the correct order, a slightly warped drive shaft, bearings with problems.  Just not made for highway speeds.  Even with treatments, it's more just getting the thing home at side-road speeds that is ever intended.  Not running at main road, let alone interstate speeds, that is ever hoped.

On the good side, pain is milder.  And fluids have been evicted, mostly.  Doing better.  But, still, I have things to do.  I need to get the dishes caught back up, get a shower, go through the refrigerator, and sort through this and that here and there in the house.  And that all is before I can even get back to getting ahead!  Ugh.

If I can get that going, I can get the bathroom and it's hallway swept and finally mopped.  Then begin tearing into the kitchen, clearing the table and floors so as to begin sweeping, then mopping, in there.  And the main hallways.  That is this and next week's projects.  It would only take two or three heavy days, but I don't have that much in me save over a few weeks' time.  It's just how it goes.

Still, I am up.  I am up early.  And I think I know, now, how to get up early.  At least until it gets too hot, and I begin spinning again.  Heck, I may even begin turning the furnace off at night.  With this sort of weather, and what just happened, I think I can live that?  We'll see.  I may even start opening two windows, during the day, up there.  Get more fresh air in and through, and down here on warmer days.

Just need to wake up more fully now.  Get to cleaning the tub a bit, then a shower.  Perhaps set dishes up afterward.  And, try not to push too hard.  My heart just isn't up to shoving and pushing quite yet, right now.  From what I can tell.

Oh, but... I am losing weight.  Quickly.  Strangely.  Not... sure why, or how.  Is it kefir?  My more carnivore based diet?  Something else?  I... don't know.  Very strange.  It's almost like my metabolism reignited.  Of course, that is wearing my heart the fuck out.  But... I'd rather die alive than whimpering in a corner, barely able to stand?  Something.

It stayed relatively warm.

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I had the windows and door open for much of the afternoon.  Finally closing things down around 18:00?  So, probably, open for four to six hours?  Something like that.  It had cooled to 42 outdoors when I decided to shut things down.  Indoors it got to 66.  It was that, at the start, in this front room.  It was 70 in the rest of the house.

By the time I closed things up it had only dropped to 66 everywhere.  And didn't seem to be cooling much beyond that.  So, really, a nice day.  Getting fresh air in is always good.  It's, just, that usually it feels too cold unless it is in the 50s.  It must just be something to do with spring coming so late, and extra sun (when it shines, as it was today).  Dunno, but I was able to enjoy the fresh air.

If this continues to be a doable thing, I will not just open up down here but will open a window or two, to create a crosswind, upstairs.  That should be nice.  But I will close things up before it gets too cold.  The furnace does a good job off getting the place warmed back up, quickly.  It was only down to 66, but still.  It was back up to 72 in less than half an hour?  After closing the house back up.  Nice.

I let a friend know, of a device I would like to see if he could make.  Not a... fantastically creative, or difficult, tool.  Used to put threeded rods into walls, to create floating shelves.  Now, the video had a simple system.  I had some ideas on that.  I want either the six inch handles suggested, but as a base.  Either adding handle extenstions, or creating tools with the six inch, but also with twelve and maybe eighteen inch handles, for when there is room, to make installation easier.  As well, the one suggested in the vid only had one size bolt, for getting a threaded rod, of just one size, into the wall.  Well?  There are times I would want the thicker bar, but there may be times when I would rather have thinner bar.

I am not sure how many sizes of threaded bar there are.  But if there are three common sizes, I would like to have all three bolts on the handles, so that I can make shelves of various sizes and strengths.  Yes, yes, I know.  I take a plan, tear it down, and redo it.  To my liking, given my want of greater capacaities, ease of use, and increased flexibility.  Especially if it doesn't cost much more.  Just... do it well, and right, and... get it done.

To that end, I experimented with sending a y.t. video via text messaging.  A first for me.  I didn't do it from the phone, though I suppose I could have.  I just typed it in manually.  It worked.  Trying to explain the thing would have been... nearly impossible.  Much shorter, and quicker, to just send a vid.

He got it.  Thinks it might be doable.  Will find out probably Thursday, at the earliest.  Hoping to get a rough quote then or Friday.  Plus, find out how much those threaded bars, of various diameters, go for per foot, yard, or whatnot.  Sometimes it is cheaper enough by the ten or twenty to buy that way.  Sometimes a foot or twenty is all the same.

I checked.  I do have an appointment coming up.  Feet.  The last time the gal I have been working with will be here.  Then, on to someone else.  She has a few people she would recommend.  Will see if they work out.  But will probably take a few months off.  Then just go in every other month from now on.  My feet have truly begun to be better.

I feel like I really am dying, or doing bad.  But some things have improved.  I don't understand.  A bit more kefir, more painpills, and waterpills today as well.  I haven't been able to do as much as hoped.  Hardly anything.  But I have had something of a day.  Gotten a few things done, planned.  And I might be crashing anyway.

The sun is starting to fade.  It is cooling?  No, the temp is 67 in here, in the front room.  And 72 everywhere else, save the other front room and the upstairs, where heat doesn't get fed.  I suppose I am just wearing down, so the body is cooling, or feeling like it is cooling.  Yea.  On to bed.

Who this time?

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Man, you just... gotta know your place.

So hot?

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Yes, but it makes no sense.  I have had some carbs, but not really all that much.  A few baked baquette slices.  Sure.  Maybe five, or eight, equalling two slices of toast, at most.  And, some veggies, in the guacamole and beef tartare.  But, not that much.  A quarter to half an onion per, plus half a jalapeno each.  I don't think artichoke hearts or capers have any carbs.  And, more, I haven't been sweetening my kefir or coffee.  One of them, actually, out of the last eight.  I had been sweetening all of them.  Keto sweetenere sometimes will, sometimes won't, kick me out of ketoses, or spike my blood sugar.  So, mostly going without should keep that in balance.

I did go out and cook the bacon.  As well, a few sausages and eggs.  Cleaned the grill, after, and shut it down and put it up, to the point I do that.  Which, on a warm day, might heat me up.  But it is 45 out there.  It's still... relatively cool.  I still have snow on the shady part of my roof!  And, in the back acre and the acre to the side of me.  So...

I really feel warm.  I have been standing more than usual.  That might be it?  Just being on my feet might be heating me up?

I had been waiting until we got into the 50s before opening up.  But, being so warm... feeling so warm... today, I decided to turn off the furnace and open the front door, a side window, a back window, and the bathroom window just a bit.  Let some air in.  I love the fresh air, but the cool is more important today.

I am getting better with the grill.  Low temps, moving things well, learning to test when to flip things, and how to do so.  It'll take some practice but I am slowly improving.  I am thinking about a blt today.  I think I have lettuce in there.  I know I have the rest.

The problem in, three easy over eggs, two sausage patties, and a bit of kefir and I am absolutely stuffed!  I am not sure I will be able to eat more today.  We'll see.  It'll have to be warmed up, if so.  No major problem, just a side note.  I'm having a coffee.  I only have one of those once a day to every other day.  Kefir is only once or twice a day.

I think I have found the right amount to make, try to drink, and the amount of milk to order for it.  Two quarts for fermenting, three half gallon jugs for maturing it, and three gallons of milk a week for making kefir.  Yea.  I wonder if I will drink more in the summer?  To be honest, this stuff is so filling, I am not sure I can eat more.  I have, for bits of time.  But it gets to be too much.  I try to drink about a quart and a half a day.  Sometimes two, sometimes half, but the average is closer to one and a half.

So hot.  I just don't get it.  Not sure I will be able to work today.  If I can, I would like to hit dishes, clear and clean the counters, and take a shower.  I really am in a bit of trouble.  Something just seems off.  Maybe some fresh air will help?  Dunno.  Will see.  It is up to 66 in this front room, though may cool, in time, with the windows and front door open a bit.  

Been awake for a bit.

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I woke up around 11:00.  Fed Sassy pretty much right after tending biologics.  Brought the trash and recycling barrels in.  They had already emptied them.  Then just sort of started looking at the world through the lens of a few blogs and other browsing sources.  The world is what it is, and isn't doing well.  Or, for the worldly.  For those who have backed off, we realized that wasn't going to work.  It amazes me how much corruption floats to the surface when allowed to do as they will.

A package arrived as well.  One of the last for the month.  Sometimes they take a very long time to get here.  Compression hose.  Another style and size to try.  Why?  Because some days some socks, stockings, or hose are too tight, or loose, to do any good.  It seems subjective, but really isn't.  Too tight, and they can hurt my legs.  Too lose and they don't do anything positive.  I have three sizes of those, two of thigh highs, and one size of knee and calf length socks.  The shorter they are, the fewer sizes I need.  It just, mostly, doesn't matter.

But, my work, with those, and the water pills, has gotten my legs back into shape.  Nearly.  Hoping, through the week, to get it all completed.  I have noticed, when I get the fluids out, and keep it out for a while, the feet don't burn, pins and needles sensation abates... or mostly.  Life is easier.  I think the heart even hurts less.

Still, will take another dose of painkillers today, and three waterpills, down from four, and five before that.  Trying to reduce the pills as I reduce intake, while dumping the last of the excess.  It's a bit of a trick, but I'll keep at it.

Hoping to hit dishes before long.  Then take a shower.  I'm not sure if there is laundry to check, but will see.

I am hoping to hit the grill today, but later.  I had thought to make a breakfast.  But, I think, first thing, I will cook off three pounds of bacon, and set some of it aside.  Use some of it for breakfast.  Make some fries while at that.  And finish with an omelet?  Easy over?  Perhaps a few of the later and a three egg of the former?  Egg omelets?  Cheese too?  Maybe with finely diced jalapeno and onion?  I have a chunk of ham, but it's in the freezer.  And, I have other cheeses, "swiss", maybe some other sorts.  Dunno.  I'll think about it.

The thing about griddling outdoors is?  You best be on your ball.  Running in and out, looking for this and that, can get you in trouble.  While there is a lot more time than one might think, looking for something can end up taking way too much time, sometimes.  And what is being cooked can get away from you.

It is far better to have salt, pepper, any spices being considered, ingredients, impletments/utensils, and whatever else right there with you.  Oh, and I think I have a shop stool in the garage?  If so, I may pull that for use.  I found a little side table, for holding things I don't trust not to burn or melt on the sidetables.  Bit by piece by thing by idea... griddling is beginning.  

I want to do the bacon in order to render the grease from it, as much as just to have bacon at the ready.  Probably too much bacon.  May see if freezing it really is an option.  Thought I froze some before.  Can't remember.  I... try things, then forget, then lose track, then toss because I can't quite be sure.  This time I will date the package, after looking up the idea... see if others do that.  Though I will say, doing them hard crisp, like I like them, other than if I am eating them right away, is not the best plan.  Reheating them will turn them more to cinders than crisp bacon.  No fat left to help crisp the meat.

Ackh!

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Just couldn't get to bed.  Or, yet.

I did get the trash and recycling to the curb.  Nothing extra to take out, so all good.

I checked the kefir, but it's not ready to rotate through.  I think there is enough space to put it in, when it is ready... in the larger holder jars.  Though, maybe another draught from one of them would ensure readiness.  I'll get a sip in the morning, then reset.

Not much.

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I just couldn't get to much.  Just... too tired.

I did make a portion of beef tartare.  The roast was quite frozen.  I had to take it out whole... or what was left.  Then I had to let it thaw a bit.  It never really did thaw well.  But, it did cut better.  While working the big, whole, roast, I cut it into portions.  And, really, should have cut those portions in half.

I have eaten larger portions, yesterday and today.  But think, after I have worn the novelty off, that five to eight ounces of meat should be plenty.  Then with the accoutrements, that should be plenty.  Further, I would keep the added bits to smaller portions as well.  I have quite enjoyed this though.

No work.  I'm just... barely staying awake.  Couldn't focus, to game.  Couldn't read much, online.  Just... drifted through the day.

I am hoping I can do better tomorrow.  This week.  I'll... see.

Haven't heard from my brother or mother.  I think they have definitely just stopped communicating.  Not sure if it was something I said or did.  But, so be it.  I am too close to death to push or pull.  I'll probably keep it to messages.  If they contact me, I will just text them back.  Keep it... distant.

Not feeling too bad, nor great.  Just... alive.  It is about bedtime though.  If I thought I could get to some work, I would stay awake.  But I think I would just ruin my sleep.  A few painkillers as I go to bed.  I took waterpills this morning, and will go so again yesterday.  But that should be about that.  Probably.

Not getting very far.

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Can barely stand.  I tried some of the guac, revisited.  Needs lime.  I did warm limes up, kept them in warm water all afternoon.  Refreshing the water several times.  Didn't help a bit.  I'm hoping, by tomorrow, some of those times will be better, or the day after?  Almost no juice in them.  Lemon just doesn't work.

Feeding Sassy.  Should check her litter box.  I have been changing her water every other day or so.  But it's a big, for her, five cup bowl.  She only drinks, perhaps, a cup?  But it gets sort of icky by then.  So I try to keep up on that.  And do.

Not sure I am going to get to dishes, or anything much tonight.  Steak tartare?  Maybe, but just as likely not.  I'd really like to get a smash burger going tomorrow.  They are very easy.  The more difficult part is getting the grill hot enough, without it becoming too hot.  Always a trick.  I do have buns, though they can go bad fast.  I'll look them over.  May put them in the fridge overnight just in case.  And, rather than using butter to fry them, use my homemade mayo.  I have heard that works.  Perhaps fries again.

What's with all the carbs?  Sort of... a signing bonus.  Not good for my health, but it does get me out there, grilling.  And, that is the only way I am going to learn.  I had some hesitancy, due to the learning curve.  Went overboard looking for advice, tips, tricks to using this griddle.  Almost didn't want to do it.  But... am getting to it.

I am hoping to get to some dishes.  But truly, having trouble standing, and worse trouble staying awake.  Not sure what the deal is.  Perhaps I should turn the heat up a bit.  Maybe it is just too chill, no matter?  Dunno.  Will turn the heat up, see what I can get to.

Breakfast!

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Well, a bit ago.  From the griddle.  The potatoes took a very long time, but I did get them done correctly.  I had meant to buy french fries and hashed potatoes, but got fries and tator tots instead.  Either wasn't thinking clearly, simply grabbed the wrong bag, or changed my mind later?  I... don't remember.  Who does?

Still, I got to it.  As well, I fried two of the sausage patties.  Not big, and only two, which is... plenty.  Along with those, I had three eggs.  It wasn't all that much food.  But I am absolutely stuffed.  Everything was done just right, and warm... at the start.  Eating in the front room, it cooled off a bit too quickly.  But I have turned the furnace down to 68.

With it warming outside, 47 last I checked, I don't need as much heat.  On days that are warmer, like today, I will turn the furnace down.  Which will make some rooms even cooler.  At least until the sun begins turning this front room into a heatbox again.  Still, that will do.  I will just have to begin retreating back into other parts of the house, and putting ac up.  Only one, as it is turning out.  Though both in means I can do the cooling on the cooler side of the house.  It... does make a difference in the upstairs open room.

The patties were finished first, and set off.  But I just put them back on while frying the eggs over easy.  I didn't do a perfect job with the eggs, but didn't break the yokes, and they were cleanly done without being overly done.  It's just that they could have been cleaner.  I ripped some of the whites.

After finishing the food, I put it on a paper plate, inside a smaller shipping box left over.  Closing that up as a minor warming box.  Did well.  Then I cleaned the surface and lightly oiled it... using several paper towels to spread the oil and remove excess.  I plan on buying cloth towels, instead of going through rolls of paper towels.  Especially if I am going to eat off the thing more like on a daily basis.

Couldn't wake in time.

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I set an alarm for six and eight.  Going down at midnight thirty, give or take a quarter, I knew it was pushing things.  But I got caught up in finishing the sauasage packing.  You can only go just so fast.  I am sure, with practice, time can be cut.  But... even then, only so much.

I slept very well.  Smelled of sweat, even having showered earlier.  All good.  Would have showered but it was late and I was finished for the day.  Down.  I fell down into sleep, I didn't just drift off.  I woke, to pee, often.  And voided about two liters.  Still getting rid of excess fluids.  Will hit the waterpills again, today, and the painpills, for my heart.

The painpills won't work on headaches, in sequential multiples.  I get one shot at headaches, for it to have any impact.  But, it seems, for the heart, painkillers work very well.  At least the excedrin migraine and current version of anacin, I haven't tried the generic tylenol on it, yet.  Now, that... doesn't take affect as quickly, or well pronounce.  Takes longer, on any pain, because it isn't accelerated with caffeine.  So I sort of really have to pay attention with that painkiller.

But, yes.  Between the painkillers, waterpills, and such, even with all the running, my heart hasn't hurt as much yesterday and last night while I slept.  Or this morning.  Still, one final dose today.  Then, this week, I will moderate the pain with sleep and rest.

I have been pushing this last week, and it really got to me.  I will still push, but maybe not so hard.  The thing is, when I am on a roll, it's difficult to not push.

And, I would like to get to mass and swimming twice this coming week.  I want to grill probably nearly daily this week.  And I want to work on the house... sweep and mop the bathroom, clear the kitchen table and floors, clear the entry hallways and laundry room, sweep and mop those rooms.  And of course finish catching up on dishes, keep up on laundry, and maybe get the hammock hung, and that all set up, so I can sleep out there a few nights this week.  

Sounds like a lot.  And, for me, it is.  But, too, as things have been going, it... really isn't all that much for over a week.  I have energy, again.  The sun is almost coming out.  It is 40 this morning... got to 45 yesterday, as I high (in my town, read 58 in Logan?).  So it's starting to... spring.  I am feeling it, enjoying it.

Can I do all those things?  I don't know.  They are on the list.  All I will do today, being it is a holy day, is to cook on the grill, do some cleaning up from yesterday, maybe get a shower even if I did miss the events, as a token of the meaning of the day, and set up and possibly finish the last of the dishes.

This evening, I may pull the top sirloin out and slice another round of tartare.  And, the guacamole was a bit salty.  Probably from the milling.  So I will slice the other half of the tomato, another avocado, the remaining parts of the onion and jalapeno, and try that.  Well, and the limes were just not juicy.  At all.  I'll let the mix marry for a day, while soaking the limes in warm water, hoping they will ripen just a bit more, so as to get some real juice out of one.  Ugh.

So it is.  I did dress, while waking today.  I... couldn't make it to church, but I can push.  I woke as soon as I could.  I dressed, if not Sunday go to meeting proper, but still.  I will shower, trim, maybe shave.  I will enter the next week feet and face forward, with teeth if need be.

As soon as possible, I'll get the grill going.  Some fries, sausage, and eggs easy or medium over.  And, prayers through the day.  Happy Easter.