On the skids still.

.
.
Whoa! Really rough days. It's been difficult to take my medicine, track what day it is, or... anything. To redevelop order, I am putting my foot down. Brushing teeth must continue, medicine must be taken, and I have to figure out how to take my medicines. I can't control drift but I must try. I was lost there for a bit, fair enough. I am still lost, but becoming aware. So, back to it.

A local called. I almost suspect my mother had something to do with that. She now has a contact here. Perhaps not, just a suspicion, but... In our conversation I indicated that next year I would like, if they could and would allow it, to help with their garden. They have a huge garden, and some of the things they grow are amazing for this area. This is a desert, and just because you water things doesn't mean they will grow. Celery? Really? Yep. Not only that, but their yields are to die for, right in the middle of a desert. The Misses cans and otherwise stores large amounts of food. They don't buy canned goods, for the most part. It seems they would be happy to have me help while they teach me. He suggested that the reason they do so well is that they spend their whole summer literally wrapped up in their garden. So much so they can't really take a vacation. And, the Misses is the green thumb, the Mister just 'follows orders' and I would be 'given orders' as well. He asked if I could handle that, and I chortled just a bit. Of course, how else is there? All fair enough. I even suggested, if I train up well enough, perhaps I could tend their garden so they could take some time off from time to time. A decent trade, to my mind. And I hope to learn a great deal. Planting, watering cycles, rows, what type of produce I would like (as they have far larger of a garden than I will grow), tending the soil. From a true Mistress of the garden. And, if I can help them take a couple of vacations a summer, all on the good side.

The Mister and myself also discussed women. He asked if I understood that women are in charge. Of course, says I. Women, good women, don't just move in and take ownership, they run the home. From heat levels to when meals are had to... well, everything mundane is theirs. And, it does become a woman's home, we are guests in it no matter that we bought it. Of course I know this. Now, men, if they are wise, will guide this process. A good man, regarding the home, finances, and such, should bring wisdom to the thing, not the actual running of the operation. And men do have veto power. I may have... left him thinking the wrong thing though. I forgot to add "mundane". Beyond the physical, women are subordinate. The bible and all tradition of which I am aware puts men as the head of the house in all manners, allowing for the relegation of duties and responsibilities. But when it comes to the soul, men are in charge. We either drive our family to heaven or hell. Relegating that duty is a sure way to end up in hell. Man is in charge, but if he is wise, he will give many of the worldly affairs over to the woman. No one has to like it, but like when falling from a high place, you don't have to like gravity either, but there it is.

Yes, yes, if I find a woman, I have zero doubt that I will be taking orders. When my lady friend is here, even then, even though we are no longer lovers, she takes over. How hot does she want the home? When is she hungry? Does she need this or that? It is all about her. Same with my mother. Women own homes, even homes they don't own. I take orders. I know my place. Make no doubt. However, in love, money, and things of God, a man best be on his toes and own up to his place. He has to rule the roost or the hen will fly or go the rest of the way crazy. Rule, we must, but with a level even but strong if gentle hand. I am no philistine in these matters. I have lost hens and let hens go and even chucked a couple of them. *evil grins*

How much I can do I will never know until I get to it. But as I see it, I need to put things in front of me before I can take that first step. I need tasks, ones that don't cost, ones I can see progress being made regarding. I have to have a job before I can do work. My mind simply isn't great at... creating work. Or, work that I know how to, or can afford, to do. They don't live far, but far enough that I could ride my bike 'to work'. It will be sticking too it, with my ever changing schedule, that will be the trick. We will see.

Later.