Awake, and gladly.

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Down just before, or at noon.  Down well.  Sleep was fantastic.  I think?  I could have awaken at 19:00 to 19:30, and various times after, in half to quarter hour segments?  Initially.  My body wanted up.  It wanted to wake.  I negotiated more sack time.  Not for... my pleasure, or mere leisure, but to try to get back to days.  If I reason with it, sometimes... if in accord... it will abide my will.  This time it did, without much fuss or selling.  We both prefer days.  It makes managing everything from intermittent fasting to medicine a lot easier.  It is on-board with health, as there have been signs of improvement.  We both have... plans, hopes, for more.

Anyway, so back to sleep.  After a few automatic attempts to wake, every half hour, we finally shut off the bioautonomic beeper... on the bio alarm, and slept until nearly 22:00.  A good sleep.  Dreams, but I don't remember them.  Hmm, though, there was a particular woman I once adored in there.  A once lover.  Now I remember.  Her scent.  Her feel.  I really liked her, loved her.  Miss her.  It isn't all about sex but... sex is a powerful thing.  When you are that close, you... have become more than friends... a sort of kin?  I just couldn't always stay.  And women can't always wait.  Slaves get what we get, I guess.

I have ordered protein additives.  I will, probably, try several types.  Along with the egg whites, I should be able to reasonable add forty to eighty proteins a day, if I can't get it in my food.  Into a kefir smoothie, or with coffee.  I am sure the smoothie will be better, but the coffee, other than being a bit different, isn't bad.  It just seems like it has pepper in it?  It makes the coffee much less sweet, more... savory.  Savory!  That is the word.  I could add more sweetener, or go with butter or ghee instead of cream, and spice and herb it more to fit the savory feel?  Thinking out loud.

Anyway, yes, I have plans to get more protein in.  I am hoping to eat more, and just use the additives when I fail.  And, hopefully, at that, just twenty grams a day extra.  The first goal is to get to 150 grams of protein a day.  I have, with some effort, been able to hit between 113 and 135.  But that has been pushing, especially since I can't eat chicken as well as I had hoped.  There is no way I can eat ten pieces of chicken drumsticks.  They just... especially from time to time, are inedible.

Hmm... I wonder if there is a local who raises chickens, affordably, for sell.  Well, and perhaps I should get going with rabbits.  But, if chicken is too lean?  Rabbit, without any skin at all, would be brutal?  Hmm, wrapped in bacon?  One piece per might help, though, too?  Ugh.

Well... I best get to waking.  I will get water out to the rabbits.  Even if they only get a sip, before it freezes again, at least I have done what I can.  I really hate going out, in the cold.  But, it's... not about me.  I know it is right, and that... is right, regardless of feels.  Though, sometimes, feels... when aligned with what is good, can be wonderful.  It's just not about feels.  They can bolster what is right, but are rarely a sign of what is right.  Save pain.  If it hurts?  And you are sure to do it anyway?  That... if you aren't a masochist... which I assure you I am not... is a sign post of the right direction.  Heck, even love, here, in this fallen place, hurts.  Beautifully, sometimes, often.

Later.