I made it.

.

.

I even helped a bit with setting up for... an event there at the church.  It's the patron saint of the church's holy day.  I couldn't stay for it, or the event celebrating my friend's death and life.  I was totally shot.  Still, I... did well.  I didn't think I could make it.  Jumped through some reasonable hurdles.  Did well.  And, saw a friend and fellow knight off.

Next, to finish off confession, first chance I get.  I'll... try to set something up soon.  Couldn't do it today.  And, with what I have to do, I don't want to be in the long line for the short time.  Not that it will take long, but it will sure seem like it.  Some things are not easy to say.  But, like food that doesn't belong in your stomach, one way or another, it's... gotta go.

I wasn't sure I should go up, for a blessing.  But was egged on.  Could have refused.  Thought about it.  But, no, wisdom, I think, prevailed.  Fear isn't the end point.  The beginning, or something to get through sometimes, but not something to stop one.  Not me, today anyway.  I love it when I see a man who says we should know no fear.  False.  We have to know fear, to know how to get beyond it.  And, if you have lost fear for yourself?  Fine, but think of those around you.  If you can sacrifice all, to anything, are you... sure that is even Christian, let alone Catholic?  Not that you should bow, for fear.  But you should... know... they can break you.  Don't be a fool to me.  Fool yourself if you like.  I have been... taught better.  Tread lightly with your pride and... what... emptiness?

Anyway... all good.  Now, at the end, my foot was killing me.  And, nausea had almost caused me to... toss whatever was in there.  Fresh air, initially, helped.

I had hoped to do some grocery shopping, or... this or that.  Couldn't.  Home.  As fast as I could.  Wasn't sure I'd make it.  Between compression socks, the efforts of the day, and else, I was really about to get ill.  Got the Sunday go to meeting clothing off and mostly tended well.  Got those stupid socks off, and am cooling, with some water, in pj's.

If I can bring everything down to a calm civility, reduce nausea, get the throbbing to quit, I'll probably crash.  I'll take tylenol... no aspirin or caffeine to upset the stomach.

Did see several other knights there.  Some were glad to see me.  Some, not so much.  I still spoke with them.  Oh, I get it.  I do.  I'm a whiny problem child.  Sometimes I help, often I'm home alone.  Not considered a mature catholic, either, because I am not liberal.  Yes, they read here.  Surprised they... don't realize I know.  Especially by know.  They are a nosy lot.  Not the only church reading here, though, either.  *grins*

I need to cool off.  It's started.  Ugh.  I did it, though.  Just wish I could blow chunks or quit wanting that.  Stuck in the middle with you?  Later.  Or goodnight.