Three parts.

.

.

A bit to eat, kefir laid up, and the drive started.

Doing the kefir brought back nausea.  A bit of a sit after.  Browsing the web.  Not much... to read.  Especially looking forward, not back.

Then, some pasta.  Just regular, with butter.  Soft enough to eat.  Didn't upset nausea.  Not the best food.  but it was easy enough, simple enough.  Salt and pepper to taste.  Grated cheese on one of the servings.  No, not a pound, less than half of that.  But, yes, too much.  It's what I could do.

Then, out to the drive.  I redid what I had done earlier.  Then another five feet?  Plus edged one side through to the road, a double to triple shovel path.  And, before I quit, cleared the sidewalk to the stoop.  I don't have a frontage sidewalk, thankfully.  Oh, well, and I cleared a bit of a path to the trash barrel.  The recycling barrel is easy to get to, or with what I had done... without tracking.  After that, as a final little effort, I got the trash and recycling out.  Ugh, needed to go.  But I have been ill, and was stalling until the drive was clear, one way or the other.

Nausea is back with a vengeance.  What was it?  Play stupid games?  Play with fire?  Well... yes.  Shut up.  I missed Kordel's dying and funeral, not sure I was welcome though.  Missed Michael's dying, and funeral.  Still haven't gifted anything for his posterity?  Memorati?  The latter, mostly, I think.  A few months and I should dig through.  I don't want to miss this.  I missed him, mostly, in life.  I liked him, and a few other knights, for what little that matters.  Although, through this, perhaps, maybe I can gain a friend among the living, again.  It's... been a while.

Still, not sure I can make it.  With the efforts increasing nausea.  A lot still to do.  Exhaustion creeping up again as well.  And so many things yet to do.  It's a long shot.  I've made a lot of long shots in my life.  Impossible, some would say.  Today, for example.  I am alive in it.  A shot no one would have bet on, even doctors... planned on my death over three and an half decades ago.  Still, I've... missed a lot of easy shots, too.  So... we'll see.

No, the shoveling isn't... a test of my strength or endurance.  It is merely pushing.  What it does test is my ability to walk for very far.  I really have been mostly seated, for weeks.  If not seated, then reclining fully as I sleep.  With days and hours and weeks whizzing by and around each other in some macabre pirouette, dazzling my eyes, upsetting my stomach, pinching my nerves, bone, muscle and so on.  Still doing so.  And, yet I push.

Ugh.  No frontage.  Maybe not the whole drive.  One more go, for certain.  Should get me to the half way, maybe three quarter way, mark.  Then check on the wardrobe, then either take a nap then a shower, or a shower then a nap?  Depends on the time.  Ugh.  Truly, just ugh.  I feel pretty wretched.  But, feeling wretched, and working through it... isn't a bad thing.  Eye lids are sweating, lightly, from the nausea.  Later.