Rough.

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I did kick the kefir over.  Had a small portion for my efforts.  Didn't want to, while I really did.  Nausea is back, major headache too, and pain.  Plus I am still tired as could be.  Not sure what is wrong.  Still, I wanted to get that done.  And did.

Then, after a few hours sitting, I decided to attempt dinner.  Got it done.  Absolutely wore me out.  But I made an excellent nacho dinner.  Too many carbs, but... I... was really hungry.  Corn chips, a few groups of creme fraiche, and burger, beans, and cheese on top.  Oh, but... very good.

Twice as exhausted as I had been.  Food will do that.  I need to put the burger up (didn't use it all for dinner), then go on to bed.  Feel so cold.  Looks like it is colder than usual in this front room.  May check outdoors.  Limping, but... it's doing something... brb...  Yes, it's 0 F out there.

I felt cold sleeping, while up yesterday, and all the time I have been awake today.  Now I know why.  Just cold, and that creeps in, no matter.  I have the furnace up, which helps, sometimes, slight.

Someone seemed to suggest, that, standing for a while made whether my foot was really hurt dubious.  First, when I am really sleepy, I don't notice pain as much.  Though, too, I have learned to stand so as not to hurt my foot.  And... other things.  Doubt if you will.  My foot is still in pretty bad shape.  I have learned how to mitigate, to a larger extent.  But I'm not going to push it beyond what I think is reasonable.  Certainly not going into a crowded area.  People, as I said, feed off cues, and seek weaknesses in others.  And, sometimes find and test it.  A way of weaning out the weak, sick, else.

Doubt if you wish.  I don't care.  Won't go where I don't feel right being.  Won't walk on even snow much.  Sure, I'll shovel.  A small area at a time, at my pace, and quit and go rest as needed.  I can't do that at an event.  I will take care as best I can, of what little health I have left.

Back to bed, it seems.  I'll use the electric blanket tonight, and if I wake up freezing, will hit it again.  Just too cold.  Goodnight.

Oh, but... someone is thinking of something.  All good?  Well, mostly.  I don't mind.  What... is the point?  Mocking?  Appreciation?  Doubts?  Dunno.

We will all lose, and some will win quite often before then.  Is it winning?  Or merely surviving?  Mocking winners for surviving is a fools game.  Praising survivors for not dying is sort of silly too.  Noticing those who are around you, and what they are, is fine.  If... you really even understand.

Don't confuse the worldly, one way or another, or surviving, for other things.  Funny how some think God wishes us to subject ourselves to death at the hand of bandits, or tyrannies, or else.  Supporting, it would seem, those who would try to take our lives.  That... isn't martyrdom.  Martyrdom comes when all else has been negated, but to kneel to a despot as a god, or to hold the faith with God and die for it.  All other pseudo forms of martyrdom are false.  Even Christ had swords among them, to the point of selling cloaks to obtain them.  It... wasn't a fashion statement.

Killing, in self-defense, on a little or big scale, is not just rightly of faith, it is required.  Don't confuse cowardice with faith.  Further, what has been done, is done.  The end or start of that then becomes between God and that man.  I would rather have just read books, and done studies.  The world doesn't... always... for some ever... give choices.  So be it.  

Still, to whoever is saying whatever, goodnight.