Hungry.

.

.

Not... in a physical way?  It was knowing I needed to eat.  And, after eating a bit, realizing I needed more.  I haven't been eating much.  Too little, to be honest.  Too cold to keep up, pay attention.  Now, I can go with little food, for extended periods.  But that will further degrade my metabolism.

Starving doesn't help me lose weight.  It hinders that.  Though, it wasn't just the inability to cook, or be awake, or else.  Sometimes, often, I simply couldn't get food down.  The opposite of being hungry.  No interest.  Even now, while hungry, I had to push to eat.  And, I couldn't eat much.  But, I did have two meals.  And, well within the intermediate fasting windows.

I feel better for it.  I'll finish my coffee, then have a vinegar tonic.  I had one earlier.  They have zero carbs, or even calories.  So I don't mind using them fasting, just won't every day.  Those can be a bit... heavy... to drink on an empty stomach.  It is fermented alcohol, mind you.

But, after having two meals?  I am feeling... better.  A bit more aware, awake, well.  Not very functional yet.  But... that could be in the planning stages.  I did do one load of laundry, probably through to being able to be put up.  And have another load ready to put in the dryer if the other is truly done.  One more load to go, but I won't be doing it tonight.

It's not fancy, but it was something.  I have been doing so little of late, that any work is solid progress.  I'll get both these first two loads through and upstairs this morning.  I almost crashed earlier.  Food, a final meal, was my first attempt to stay awake.  Trying to make it well into the actual morning.  I think I made it to eight yesterday?  Yes, just about exactly.  I called my mom at 8:04.  We talked for five to ten.  Then I went on to bed.  I'll try to make it to ten today.  Noon tomorrow... or... well, the day..?  No, yes, that would be tomorrow.  Gets messy, going to bed at such odd times.

I did send a missive to my friend.  Not sure I'll hear anything back about that.  There were three topics.  Keto/carnivore, and why... in several ways, including my hopes that I can save some poor sod from my fate.  It isn't always possible.  Can try.  And a bit about Sam, Sassy, and curious about his cat.  Yes, the story of Sam's end, too.  It seems terrible, but it was a good thing... to be there with her in the end.  Brutal, on my end.  But... there was something special about it too.  The spry old girl went on up, hopefully to wait for me.  Has even visited, a few times.  Or... so I believe.

It is 47 out.  It was mostly a bit warmer, around 50, most of the night.  Right here, nearing dawn, about an hour ago anyway, it had dropped a few more degrees.  That isn't too bad.  Just every so slightly chilly.  Not sure what today will bring.  Not sure I'll be awake to know.  Well, to ten, I am hoping.  So, I may see some of it.  If so, possibly to town, to put money in my account.  Then pay off the last debt and have some money in there.  Nice.