Pushing the clock.

.

.

Trying.  A bit confused... the clocks?  Ah... that time of year?  So... after a bit of reconsideration?  Up at around 20:00.  It was 48 out there, when I woke half an hour ago.  Fed Sassy.  But she was still hungry.  So I fed her again.  It's a rare thing, that she begs after having eaten.  So, when she does, I... add a bit more.  I do it for myself, if food wasn't enough... on rare occasions.  Why wouldn't I do so for her?

Someone is really digging into some of my, if more recent, blogs.  Need to sense various aspects of love.  The hard, gritty, parts, on to the parts which are beyond the senses, nearly.  The... joining part.  Not even necessarily the physical, though that was in there.  But the... changes that happen, when a man and woman truly become one.  I honestly don't think, if you ever go there, you can ever not be there.  Divorce doesn't change it.  Not even death will erase that.  It does complicate life, though.  Makes me truly believe we were made to be together for life.

I suppose some people never bond.  Or have sex outside of the bond, so come to believe those are two different things.  Though, some, like me, who started out of that bond, and came to it... if then failing through death?  We learn the truth of the bond and sex in ways others can't understand.  If sex is part of the bond... it's a good thing.  If not, just two predators, consuming.  I've been both.

I'll try to get to some more things today.  I did a shower and some laundry yesterday.  Today?  Clearing the freezertop.  It is clean, so just clearing.  Another shower?  But dishes, either way.  And, collecting trash and recycling.  Perhaps tearing down boxes, getting some out to the suv.  Ugh.

But, first, I need to wake.  Oh, and I really have to thaw some meat.  Soup?  Maybe a few small sandwiches, if the rolls are still good?  Something.  I need some food.  Coffee?  Haven't had that for... a while... either.  I have mostly been drinking water.  Can't get to things, including getting food out and thawed, then cooked.  Difficult days.

But it is warm enough.  It is 65 upstairs, near me.  Which... is... nice.  And 72, 71 in this front room?  Strange, but yes.  I am on meds.  Though, they do beat me up fairly roughly as I begin them... for months.  And, while I have been on them for a four months?  I've only been on fresh ones, and at the higher dose, for... a month?  That might be it.

I'll keep trying.  Later.