Up late.

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Pushing.  Shoving.  Moving along, little doggies.  It's to 11:50.  I don't think I made it to nine yesterday morning?  And, was up later yesterday than... in a while.  So this is a real breakout.  Not done yet.  Hoping to make it to 13:00... 14:00... just maybe 15:00.  Or not.  I may crash in ten.  Can never be certain after a certain point.  I am well past that point.

Coffee.  But, this time, real rather than freeze dried.  The other stuff hasn't been setting well with me lately.  But I've kept using it because... I didn't have the energy to do more.  This time, more was done.  French press had to be cleaned.  Ugh.  It's stainless, all around, so that isn't difficult.  But... yeah...  I cleaned the coffee out first thing this time.  I didn't realize old coffee and grounds could smell so horrible.  Now I know.  But it really did clean up very... relatively... easily.

I finally pulled some meat out.  Just from the little freezer.  I did clear most of the big freezertop.  Hopefully to get in there later today, or... later later today... if I don't do it before going to sleep.  I'd like to get a bit more out.  Only had small packs of burger, and no steaks or chicken.

It got down to... say... 42 or 43 last night, but was raining.  This morning it was 44 first thing, well before the sun was up so was a weather thing rather than any morning warming.  But it had stopped raining, and partly cleared.  A full clear would have seen freezing, most likely.  So, rather warm.  Not exactly summer, but not a high of 35, or low of 16.  But, weather does that, even on the shoulders.

Now, if I can clean the grill.  Mostly from lack of recent use.  Then get to cooking again.  I haven't been cooking, or eating much, lately.  Need to eat!  Water just isn't cutting it.  Coffee doesn't help all that much either.

Strange daydreams, strange video pops.  No sharing.  Just... that I have been... enjoying?  I would say so.  Someone has been digging through, more or less, more recent musical posts.  Do I entertain, give pause for thought, invoke memories, or... what.  I don't know.  No one comments.  That I have readers... or visitors... is surprising.  To me.

Narcist, I hear termed.  I have to laugh.  When one lives alone, and pretty much only has five minutes of face-time with folk, a few times a month, who... else is there?  You may or may not live long enough to... find yourself in this position.  Enviable?  Yes... and... no.  I miss having people in my life.  But the mess of it, not... always?  I miss sex, but I don't miss "yes", "no", "yes", "no".  Personally I think women are just arbitrary because they are twits.  But... whatever.  Still, do miss a woman, for more than just sex.  Sometimes.

Still, working out how to possibly work on that.  Won't, can't, haven't, found a decent American woman.  Not sure there are any left I would bother with.  But, there might be women out there who are yet hungry enough to become a wife.  Not a second paycheck with bennies, not a drama queen, not a child princess.  But a woman who manages the domestics, bears children, and has some give and take but limits that to within a relationship, marriage.  Though... that is tricky no matter where a man goes, or how much he has, or doesn't.

Ugh.  I'll try to keep going.  But I am well and truly spent.  Looked at the vids that have been popping.  Decided, definitely, not to share them.  Oh... I have a sense for what might being suggested.  Agree?  It's... someone's story.  The question is always about truth.  Does it contain it, does it mean what is suggested, and so on.

I'll just enjoy.  If... it goes for a while, I'll collect the bones of the story, and flesh it out.  Or... how I interpret it.  I have walked among the lowest of the dead.  And I have groped for meaning.  And I may have been wrong.  I do what I can.

On to... a bit more browsing before I crash like a spent airplane.  Goodnight.  Oh... but... I will say... I see you...  You know who you are, as do I.  Oh...  I see you.

Dames and their... funny... thoughts and ways.  *smile*