Brutal.

.

.

I'm only feeling better because I am feeling nothing?  Sort of.  I haven't eaten in a while.  Won't.  Can't.  But, nausea has... eased?  I'll find out more after I've been awake for a while.  Might just, as suggested, be numb.  Having some water, but not going to have much.  Just... some.  And medicines.

I fed Sassy first thing.  Poor girl.  Though, too, she could use going with less food for a while.  She's not going to starve to death in a hurry either.  Chunk bunny.  Still, I don't mind her having the extra she has.  It's... the negotiated trade-off for having been fixed.  And, for good or ill.

Blood sugar is 126 fasting.  Annoying!  It's been two days since I ate.  On the good side?  I decided to strip down, after the morning pee, and weigh in.  Before food, medicine, before brushing teeth...  If I thought I could have pooped before weighing in, I would have waited for that.  But didn't see that, at least not before drinking water.  So... to it.

I weigh 240.6.  Which means I have officially lost 54.4 pounds since my certain most recent highest.  Possibly more like sixty.  And, 240 is what I was weighing in while in the Navy, at my absolute best.  Then, of course, I had a 31" waist.  Now I have between a 36" and 38" waist.  My arms are 7" smaller, or so.  So... yeah.  It's... not the same.  But... it's... a good sign, the right direction, a start.  I am guessing I need to lose another forty pounds, and maybe increase strength... muscle mass if possible.  Still, fifty pounds is a lot, for a two to three month effort.  Some of these folks are only losing that much over a year.  If I... think they are doing a lot of cheating.  But... I haven't been to that weight since... 1987, the fall of that year... nearing on forty years.

I was losing, sometimes, on keto.  But I'd always cheat on that.  I even cheat on this, but less frequently.  And, often, my cheating is going into keto, rather than into "normal American" food.  Eating broccoli and carrots is a lot less bad than eating a pizza, or burger and fries.  Though, sometimes, I... have gone completely off the wagon.

I am so hungry, now.  And, yet, so not hungry.  I don't want to eat.  Food, of all sorts, sounds... bad.  Carnivore, even pizza, just... nothing sounds good.  I want to be full!  I just don't want to eat anything to get full, to obtain that sensation.  The thought of eating makes me nauseous again.  How many times do I have to suggest that I have nausea does it take to help you understand, I just... can't do food.  I don't want coffee either.  Or vinegar tonics, or... anything.  Water seems okay.  And that one yogurt that I found.  I may have to get more of that.  If I can only handle about a cup a day.  But, that is some good stuff.  It offers some nourishment, without causing any upset... at least at the smaller dose I consume.

Ugh.  I'll get medicine in.  Maybe play a bit of the game.  But, then, before long, go back on up to bed.  Sleep until tomorrow.  I'll just wake up, from time to time, to feed Sassy and maybe take medicine.  Then back to bed.  Hmm... may take a few bottles of water upstairs, and some of the antibiotics.  So, if I wake, but can't make it up... as in downstairs... which happens fairly often... I can at least get medicine in.

So ill.  So off.  So bad.  But, right now, so numb.  I don't want to be awake long enough for the illness to come back.

Not sure about the leg yet.  It's still red, and sore.  Not as large of a patch.  Not as severe of pain and burning.  But... it's still not doing well.  Better, but by a small amount.  It has scabbed over, and completely.  There is no longer a dimple, inward.  It is completely covered and fully filled.  Small things, but I'll take it.  It's something, for now.

But the weight loss is good.  And, even the mostly lower blood sugar.  If that is so strange.  Then again, every blood sugar I have taken for the last two... three... maybe four days?  Has been fasting.  And, that is usually my higher blood sugar.  Though, the antibiotics, pain, and else, have some affect.  As well, as it simply usually being fasting draws, back to back.  Ugh.  

Later.  Goodnight again, maybe.  I think I'm going to skip gaming.  Just go on back to bed.  Yes.  Goodnight... again.