The burrito was good.

.

.

Two yesterday, one today, and one remaining.  Why?  Because.  It's been two weeks since I have eaten regularly, at any practical volume.  So I am eating a bit more.  Even this isn't catching up.  It is merely a start to trying to get enough calories in on any given day.

I need to get two dozen, of the three dozen eggs I received, boiled, peeled, and put up.  Four or six of those a day, added to the burrito, with coffee, and kefir, will just about be nearing the calories I need for a day.  Yes, I really need to eat a lot, and I have really not been eating enough.

I don't mind adding burritos in three times a week, until I get used to being on carnivore again.  It isn't perfect, but I can eat it.  As well, hoping the bitters arrive before too long, and help with the nausea from eating carnivore.  Whether that is from the fats, protein, or salts... I'll have to figure out in time.

If it's from fat, I can probably eventually get through that.  If it's protein or salt I'll have to cut those a little or a lot.  The salt is easy enough to cut.  But I will have to replace that with more sodium, and the other electrolytes and minerals really.  Protein I can probably cut, if I'd prefer not to have to cut that.

Some suggest raw meat.  Which?  Yea?  No.  No, absolutely not.  I love steak tartare from time to time, but not a daily thing, and that has additions which might not work.  Though, steak ceviche?  Maybe.  That would add lemon or lime juice, to cook the meat.  But, in limits, some carbs... can do.

Some carnivores are bringing carbs back in.  Since my problem is diabetes, that might not work?  Arguably, it seems.  Though... everything with a grain of salt.  Unless, or until, I see blood sugar down in the 80s to 100s, no.  And, currently, that isn't the case.  I was there.  Wrecked and through it all.  But... if I get back to it, I may experiment.

Oh, and that last?  About waking at odd hours, and else?  Right... I do have that problem.  If I suspect it to not be food, but heart related?  Health, organ, related?  I don't know.  Then again, I have been trying to run carbs exceedingly low, for a long time.  Might not show with blood sugar, but that might be... other issues.  Ugh, trying to sort these things is difficult.  But... I am trying.

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You know?  I've been wondering why, back in my day, they wanted to salvage a damaged male?  Beside actually believing in the old ways?  I think it is because there is more to it.  These days, when a child goes off?  They medicate, one way or the other.  Even perform surgery.  In my day, they just put the young bull in with a fine heifer, and had him learn the ways.  And, if that failed, good solid beatings.  No... I don't mind.  I... approve.  More, I appreciate what they did.  Still doubt if it hurt them more than it hurt me.  But... that doesn't even matter.  *grins*  I hope they enjoyed, so some extent.  Go on, get it all out.  Ha!

Though, I do wonder.  Did they see something worth saving?  Did they believe in me?  Tough times, to find a woman, wife.  But I... did find a woman.  If she passed and the first child with her.  And, seven more were made, that I know about.  Well, started.  The last was miscarried.  So... while I may have failed at some things, I definitely repopulated... paid my ancestors back?  Not... how they may have wanted it, but how the times, and my situation, would allow.

As well?  I was a good fighter, scrapper, warrior.  Unlike this one, I was never someone else's tool.  While I learned you can never be truly solitary, you can have greater or lessor access to choices, options.  I had more than most.  If, too, I had no recourse if things went wrong.  I understand the Roman notion of fishing with the golden hook...  For them, their leaders, their armies were their hooks.  For me, it was much more direct.  I was my own hook... no distance between risk and loss.

Oh, and something I will add.  I have always suggested my skills aren't based on size or strength.  Speed, if I still have it, when I definitely still had it, was what I had in spades.  There are limits, to this and that, and all.  And, there are things which don't have the same limits.  Although... you will break yourself on your enemy, even if you win.  I always needed time, after, to heal.  Or... eventually.  Sometimes I wouldn't get time immediately, and would have to fight twice, three times, or more in a row.  Over weeks, even days.  Eventually, I... needed to repair, heal, but physically.  I... had no issues with hand to hand, doing what was needed.

Well, really?  Speed is good, size and strength help.  But more?  The ability to both give and take pain.  These last two and speed will give you a large advantage.  Experience comes next.  Then size and strength.  In... my evaluations.  The vid is obviously choreographed.  Which is to be expected.  But... the real things is nowhere near so clean, absolute, or sure.  Mostly.

Later.  Hmm... may take a nap, or just go on to sleep for the night/day again.