.
.
The sisterhood. Many. So very many. They have invaded. While I am a master of my mind, with so many feet and boobs hithering to and fro, hips rubbing and touching, my ability to keep some doors closed and certain things private is being slightly impaired. Thankfully, they know not what they do. Yet I suffer for the releases. I am being psychically bum rushed by skirts. I must admit, it is not an wholly unpleasant experience. I'm not sure they even intended it. Something has... undone them. Something I did? Ever had a woman become incapable of not brushing through your hair with her fingers, touching you in that way? Impersonal in a way, and yet ever so exactly targeted. Think about being in a room with many such women at one time. Or, if you are a women, think of those times when you could not stop yourself from the luxury of such a touch. Invaded.
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Well, I did make it to town.
.
.
Didn't get much done, it was late when I finally got there. A meal, and took my friend out shopping. Not much more. So... I'm planning on getting back into town today. Hopefully much earlier. We will see.
I need to gas up my vehicle, but need to get gas in some tanks too so that isn't a singular out of the way thing. I need to do grocery shopping, and some other shopping. I have a few cards to go out. What else? Oh, my friend purchased a dvd/vcr cross record machine yesterday, and I said I would install it for him. So, I'll do that. Hmm... and maybe another meal. Oh... one other thing. I would like to get a small package off to my mother as well. Nothing fancy, just, it means some shopping, then figuring out the packaging, and then getting to the post office to ship it. That should be about it.
I am hoping to do it all. If I start early enough, that might all be possible. None of it is hard work. And it is cool, not cold to me, and not hot, so the work isn't extra heavy duty. Somewhere between 30 and 50 F is where I do my easiest work. I don't sweat and can work longer without the feeling that I am forcing work through. It's almost like being in a plane with slightly less gravity or something. Yum! Actually, I can probably go colder. But at some point, cold becomes an enemy just as heat usually is. And, of course, it depends on what I am doing. A lot of find mechanical hand-to-eye might get tricky, at least without some heavier physical mixed in to keep the blood flow going to the digits. I really am a bear.
One other thing, the video didn't mention it, but the fox just as often appears as an old man. I'm not how old I appear, but I think that would work. Depends on the day, for now, and the viewer, to a degree. :)
Oh.... well... I best get on to waking. Later.
.
Didn't get much done, it was late when I finally got there. A meal, and took my friend out shopping. Not much more. So... I'm planning on getting back into town today. Hopefully much earlier. We will see.
I need to gas up my vehicle, but need to get gas in some tanks too so that isn't a singular out of the way thing. I need to do grocery shopping, and some other shopping. I have a few cards to go out. What else? Oh, my friend purchased a dvd/vcr cross record machine yesterday, and I said I would install it for him. So, I'll do that. Hmm... and maybe another meal. Oh... one other thing. I would like to get a small package off to my mother as well. Nothing fancy, just, it means some shopping, then figuring out the packaging, and then getting to the post office to ship it. That should be about it.
I am hoping to do it all. If I start early enough, that might all be possible. None of it is hard work. And it is cool, not cold to me, and not hot, so the work isn't extra heavy duty. Somewhere between 30 and 50 F is where I do my easiest work. I don't sweat and can work longer without the feeling that I am forcing work through. It's almost like being in a plane with slightly less gravity or something. Yum! Actually, I can probably go colder. But at some point, cold becomes an enemy just as heat usually is. And, of course, it depends on what I am doing. A lot of find mechanical hand-to-eye might get tricky, at least without some heavier physical mixed in to keep the blood flow going to the digits. I really am a bear.
One other thing, the video didn't mention it, but the fox just as often appears as an old man. I'm not how old I appear, but I think that would work. Depends on the day, for now, and the viewer, to a degree. :)
Oh.... well... I best get on to waking. Later.
Monday, November 17, 2014
More lore.
.
.
After foam brought up another Trickster, and looking that over, I decided to see what else might be out there. To be sure, it seems every culture seems to have some form of the Trickster. Some are good, some bad. Most are a mix between the two, having to struggle with various aspects of their needs and wants, people, and the vagaries of life. Some of them match well with tales I have written. Others more vaguely, or in only a few ways, follow the line.
.
After foam brought up another Trickster, and looking that over, I decided to see what else might be out there. To be sure, it seems every culture seems to have some form of the Trickster. Some are good, some bad. Most are a mix between the two, having to struggle with various aspects of their needs and wants, people, and the vagaries of life. Some of them match well with tales I have written. Others more vaguely, or in only a few ways, follow the line.
Happy days are here again?
.
.
Well, no. The Fonz isn't cool, or back. Hey! Nor, in truth, is happiness on the rise. Nor is happiness on the wane. It is what it is in generic life, in the morning, for a non-morning guy. Not good, not bad, just don't test it! Coffee. Nom. But it is true, days are here again. I was up until nearly 21:00 last night. I set the alarm for eight and change, trying to rotate just a bit, and give myself a few extra winks if needed by the process. I woke at just after 4:00. Perfect enough. Now to begin slowing the process. An half hour later to bed, an hour later awake. Then to nail that to the work surface? Something like that.
Have you heard about the scientist being beset, after landing a spacecraft on a small, fast moving object of some sort? Asteroid, meteor, whatever. Then to be ripped apart by feminazis for wearing some shirt? Yeah, well, I don't have a lot of sympathy for pussies who fold or men who cry in public. And it won't do him any good anyway. That's not how you deal with rabid animals. What I didn't think about, at the time though, was that the shirt wasn't unique. I thought it had been made for him by a friend. I knew the (what I thought) was a friend was a woman. I did not know she sold those shirts publicly. Anyway, by the time I found that out (h/t AoSHQ (it's in there, somewhere)), those shirts were sold out. But there is another, if it looks to be selling out too. I will label this page, so I can come back, in the future, in hopes she will make more of these shirts. To be honest, I think I want that one, and another. And, just to show this scientist how to deal with rabid dogs, I will wear these shirts into feminist laden areas every once in a while. Yeah, I have brass ones, and they hang low boys and girls. I know just the spot. My coffee vendor, nice little coop/college joint. With a smile, too. *blink blink* Gimme a little sugar with that coffee, sweetie. Oh, and smile.
Today? Well? I'm doing pretty good. So, another shower today. Then, hopefully, a trip to town. I noticed, the next day, that my friend HAD called, three times. Once at about noon, then a couple of times later. Crazy thing. I had my phone right by me, but it didn't ring through. Dunno, but it wasn't his fault, or mine. Just one of those things I guess. I'll try to call him around 10:00 or 11:00, set something up for this afternoon, then head in for shopping, the post office, a meal, and whatever he wants to do. I've been loving daily showers. Haven't gotten to much else, but those have been wonderful.
Later.
.
Well, no. The Fonz isn't cool, or back. Hey! Nor, in truth, is happiness on the rise. Nor is happiness on the wane. It is what it is in generic life, in the morning, for a non-morning guy. Not good, not bad, just don't test it! Coffee. Nom. But it is true, days are here again. I was up until nearly 21:00 last night. I set the alarm for eight and change, trying to rotate just a bit, and give myself a few extra winks if needed by the process. I woke at just after 4:00. Perfect enough. Now to begin slowing the process. An half hour later to bed, an hour later awake. Then to nail that to the work surface? Something like that.
Have you heard about the scientist being beset, after landing a spacecraft on a small, fast moving object of some sort? Asteroid, meteor, whatever. Then to be ripped apart by feminazis for wearing some shirt? Yeah, well, I don't have a lot of sympathy for pussies who fold or men who cry in public. And it won't do him any good anyway. That's not how you deal with rabid animals. What I didn't think about, at the time though, was that the shirt wasn't unique. I thought it had been made for him by a friend. I knew the (what I thought) was a friend was a woman. I did not know she sold those shirts publicly. Anyway, by the time I found that out (h/t AoSHQ (it's in there, somewhere)), those shirts were sold out. But there is another, if it looks to be selling out too. I will label this page, so I can come back, in the future, in hopes she will make more of these shirts. To be honest, I think I want that one, and another. And, just to show this scientist how to deal with rabid dogs, I will wear these shirts into feminist laden areas every once in a while. Yeah, I have brass ones, and they hang low boys and girls. I know just the spot. My coffee vendor, nice little coop/college joint. With a smile, too. *blink blink* Gimme a little sugar with that coffee, sweetie. Oh, and smile.
Today? Well? I'm doing pretty good. So, another shower today. Then, hopefully, a trip to town. I noticed, the next day, that my friend HAD called, three times. Once at about noon, then a couple of times later. Crazy thing. I had my phone right by me, but it didn't ring through. Dunno, but it wasn't his fault, or mine. Just one of those things I guess. I'll try to call him around 10:00 or 11:00, set something up for this afternoon, then head in for shopping, the post office, a meal, and whatever he wants to do. I've been loving daily showers. Haven't gotten to much else, but those have been wonderful.
Later.
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Ah, but not that Trickster.
.
.
Some are confused as to who the Trickster is, or even what he is. Many call Loki, Lucifer, and others, the Trickster. And, while they are tricksters, they are not Trickster. The Trickster is not evil. He merely has tasks to do that require much, and sometimes dark things, and in his off time he often gets into trouble. None who have battled for ages, of mind body and spirit, are able to... be certainly and fully civil. Further, after learning of so many tricks and traps, starting from the receiving end, a definite cautious nature exists about the Trickster. His works are for good. As has been mentioned, he does have belly. His appetites are as great, and sometimes greater, than his will to good. I liked that descriptions, "a celestial being, but one with a belly". Yes indeed.
Of the European lore, the one who is the Trickster, about whom many might be commonly familiar, is a single name most will have some grasp regarding. Merlin. There are a number of reasonably well written, modern, compilations. This one describes some of his life. Scroll up for other articles about Merlin. You will note, there are... incongruities. Even when he existed, whether he was more than one man, and what he did or could do, are in question. His lineage, of course, is dark coupled with human. His alliance to good is not questioned. Actually, there are ancient French, Welsh, and other sources. As to his end, there are as many variations. As with Coyote, Raven, and others, fate is never what it seems. Cousins, kin certainly, brothers, or simply extended family... or even all one... is for others to determine... if only to their own satisfactions.
Lucifer is an angel, now fallen, who plays at being a trickster, but he is decidedly not of good, or abiding to God. Loki, as well, is probably a fallen angel of a lessor sort, or another face of Lucifer. How things really are, few can be certain. Stories, truths, future, present, past, all a blur, I suspect even to the ancients. Perhaps more so for the ancients. Time isn't what it seems, nor is simple or complex reality. But good and evil are known, quantified, easily identifiable, if some forms of trickery mean to dislodge the notion while other forms of it merely mean to not present truths that the world isn't ready, or able, to negotiate. Much as a woman who shrieks when she sees a mouse or a snake will not do well to know of the war as it was in heaven or on a mortal battlefield. So it is with even men. Still, I recommend distrust, then prayer. See what a man, of any nature, new to you, does and says before trusting. Even then, trust lightly. But fate is what it is, despicable thing, and yet so generous. If faith is rightly adored and strengthened.
Just felt the story needed fleshed out. Oh the worries on the brow of so many. Choose, but with Wisdom. Later.
.
Some are confused as to who the Trickster is, or even what he is. Many call Loki, Lucifer, and others, the Trickster. And, while they are tricksters, they are not Trickster. The Trickster is not evil. He merely has tasks to do that require much, and sometimes dark things, and in his off time he often gets into trouble. None who have battled for ages, of mind body and spirit, are able to... be certainly and fully civil. Further, after learning of so many tricks and traps, starting from the receiving end, a definite cautious nature exists about the Trickster. His works are for good. As has been mentioned, he does have belly. His appetites are as great, and sometimes greater, than his will to good. I liked that descriptions, "a celestial being, but one with a belly". Yes indeed.
Of the European lore, the one who is the Trickster, about whom many might be commonly familiar, is a single name most will have some grasp regarding. Merlin. There are a number of reasonably well written, modern, compilations. This one describes some of his life. Scroll up for other articles about Merlin. You will note, there are... incongruities. Even when he existed, whether he was more than one man, and what he did or could do, are in question. His lineage, of course, is dark coupled with human. His alliance to good is not questioned. Actually, there are ancient French, Welsh, and other sources. As to his end, there are as many variations. As with Coyote, Raven, and others, fate is never what it seems. Cousins, kin certainly, brothers, or simply extended family... or even all one... is for others to determine... if only to their own satisfactions.
Lucifer is an angel, now fallen, who plays at being a trickster, but he is decidedly not of good, or abiding to God. Loki, as well, is probably a fallen angel of a lessor sort, or another face of Lucifer. How things really are, few can be certain. Stories, truths, future, present, past, all a blur, I suspect even to the ancients. Perhaps more so for the ancients. Time isn't what it seems, nor is simple or complex reality. But good and evil are known, quantified, easily identifiable, if some forms of trickery mean to dislodge the notion while other forms of it merely mean to not present truths that the world isn't ready, or able, to negotiate. Much as a woman who shrieks when she sees a mouse or a snake will not do well to know of the war as it was in heaven or on a mortal battlefield. So it is with even men. Still, I recommend distrust, then prayer. See what a man, of any nature, new to you, does and says before trusting. Even then, trust lightly. But fate is what it is, despicable thing, and yet so generous. If faith is rightly adored and strengthened.
Just felt the story needed fleshed out. Oh the worries on the brow of so many. Choose, but with Wisdom. Later.
Slowly shifting.
.
.
An extra hour of sleep last night. As well, I was awake later than I thought I would be. I didn't actually go to bed until 16:00 or 17:00, maybe a little past that last. When I am pushing through it is difficult to know. I set the alarm for 3:00. If, as usual, hoping to wake before the alarm. I woke at 1:00 but was able to rest for another hour. I like the pace days are coming back around. A bit at a time. If I can push through, and tolerate the body aches and headaches, that is fine. If I can, then I prefer a nice slow glide from one schedule to the next. This glide path is about as perfect as I could create. The only problem is that it is quite slow.
Today? Not much. A few bits of this and that around the cave. Another shower. Showers are so very nice when you get get to them. I've had one, pretty much daily, for the last four or five days. While I seem to be fading, as to energy levels, I almost feel as if I have bottomed out. I haven't hit the deepest depth, it's more as if I landed on a plateau. So, before I go further into the abyss, or maybe to kickstart a climb back up, I am going to marshal my reserves and try to put them to some use. It's a silly game. But it's all I have.
I have even been tracking days and dates the last little bit. They aren't excessively important to someone like me. Weekday, weekend, business hours, or not... that is the sum of my need to know any of it. Christmas, Thanksgiving, the 4th of July, and birthdays... all... interchangeable as to their given, and celebrated days. The only thing that might, on rare occasions, involve me, is whether my bank is closed, or if stores are closed, or such. This, to a greater extent, hasn't changed from before I was ill, mind you. In the service, and before, these things just weren't a part of my personal experience. If not for family members who looked forward to, and tracked these things, or friends in the service, these times could have come and gone without me realizing, mostly. It's just not in my nature. Still, I enjoy when included.
I am hoping to do a bit today, then get out tomorrow. I do need to get fresh gas, groceries, and some other things. I don't know if it will be a long, extra cold, or otherwise hard winter. I haven't seen, or felt, signs. I've been too limited to being inside the sphere of self. Though those aren't always right anyway. It doesn't matter, though, in truth. Long, short, extra cold, slightly warm, winter is simply hard. I can't always get out when I have the ability, which limits things on top of them already being limited. So, I best restore low stocks, stock up on a few other things, and take care sooner rather than later.
Hmm... the new pot of coffee should be ready. A few hours of tinkering, reading, music, and thought should see me to something by 5:00 or 6:00. I am rinsing quinoa, getting it ready for "lunch". I have some hamburger thawed, and a corned beef if I need cabbage, carrots, and potatoes for that last. Hamburger and quinoa, with cheese and a bit of spice, makes for a mild but pleasant and filling meal. Fresh onions chopped and cooked with it, or just put on top, would be better. But it will do as is.
Later.
.
An extra hour of sleep last night. As well, I was awake later than I thought I would be. I didn't actually go to bed until 16:00 or 17:00, maybe a little past that last. When I am pushing through it is difficult to know. I set the alarm for 3:00. If, as usual, hoping to wake before the alarm. I woke at 1:00 but was able to rest for another hour. I like the pace days are coming back around. A bit at a time. If I can push through, and tolerate the body aches and headaches, that is fine. If I can, then I prefer a nice slow glide from one schedule to the next. This glide path is about as perfect as I could create. The only problem is that it is quite slow.
Today? Not much. A few bits of this and that around the cave. Another shower. Showers are so very nice when you get get to them. I've had one, pretty much daily, for the last four or five days. While I seem to be fading, as to energy levels, I almost feel as if I have bottomed out. I haven't hit the deepest depth, it's more as if I landed on a plateau. So, before I go further into the abyss, or maybe to kickstart a climb back up, I am going to marshal my reserves and try to put them to some use. It's a silly game. But it's all I have.
I have even been tracking days and dates the last little bit. They aren't excessively important to someone like me. Weekday, weekend, business hours, or not... that is the sum of my need to know any of it. Christmas, Thanksgiving, the 4th of July, and birthdays... all... interchangeable as to their given, and celebrated days. The only thing that might, on rare occasions, involve me, is whether my bank is closed, or if stores are closed, or such. This, to a greater extent, hasn't changed from before I was ill, mind you. In the service, and before, these things just weren't a part of my personal experience. If not for family members who looked forward to, and tracked these things, or friends in the service, these times could have come and gone without me realizing, mostly. It's just not in my nature. Still, I enjoy when included.
I am hoping to do a bit today, then get out tomorrow. I do need to get fresh gas, groceries, and some other things. I don't know if it will be a long, extra cold, or otherwise hard winter. I haven't seen, or felt, signs. I've been too limited to being inside the sphere of self. Though those aren't always right anyway. It doesn't matter, though, in truth. Long, short, extra cold, slightly warm, winter is simply hard. I can't always get out when I have the ability, which limits things on top of them already being limited. So, I best restore low stocks, stock up on a few other things, and take care sooner rather than later.
Hmm... the new pot of coffee should be ready. A few hours of tinkering, reading, music, and thought should see me to something by 5:00 or 6:00. I am rinsing quinoa, getting it ready for "lunch". I have some hamburger thawed, and a corned beef if I need cabbage, carrots, and potatoes for that last. Hamburger and quinoa, with cheese and a bit of spice, makes for a mild but pleasant and filling meal. Fresh onions chopped and cooked with it, or just put on top, would be better. But it will do as is.
Later.
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Oh well, again.
.
.
I called and left a message. Then waited. I checked out the driveway. The forward and aft quarter had melted clean, but the middle section was ice. No way to really clean it, save by breaking up the ice then sweeping. I will simply drive over that, I suppose. I kept waiting for a call back but it didn't happen. I lost track, now it is bedtime. I made a hamburger earlier, melted some cheese to top it, I suppose that will do.
Tired. Sleepy beyond my ability to just break through and go to town. Then again, much of what I wanted to do isn't available, being Saturday. Monday, I hope. I did get a little going for a very short while. I'll take it. Caught up on laundry, trash, cat litter, dishes, if cleaning leaves much to be desired. Take what you can get.
Sorry, but it looks like I'll be going back down for a bit. To top it off, the news cycle has died, blogging by others has been slow, finding anything worth watching on YouTube is off. Not much of interest going on out there and I can't seem to get things going here. I am turning my days and nights around, slowly. Just to get a bit more... something... I'll be thinking about it.
Oh, but I did finish a recent read, and posted a review. Nothing fancy, though I do recommend the book. It's title is SHTF. I think it is only offered in ebook format. Well worth the read. I might try to start another book, one I have been meaning to hit for a while now. Then post a review on it, though maybe after a bit of my own research and a bit of thinking. I'm hoping to be able to find errors. I'm not so worried about grammar or spelling errors. I'm looking for real problems. But too, differences of opinion are good, if they are presented well. Those aren't, technically, errors. But they are much better to find.
Good night.
.
I called and left a message. Then waited. I checked out the driveway. The forward and aft quarter had melted clean, but the middle section was ice. No way to really clean it, save by breaking up the ice then sweeping. I will simply drive over that, I suppose. I kept waiting for a call back but it didn't happen. I lost track, now it is bedtime. I made a hamburger earlier, melted some cheese to top it, I suppose that will do.
Tired. Sleepy beyond my ability to just break through and go to town. Then again, much of what I wanted to do isn't available, being Saturday. Monday, I hope. I did get a little going for a very short while. I'll take it. Caught up on laundry, trash, cat litter, dishes, if cleaning leaves much to be desired. Take what you can get.
Sorry, but it looks like I'll be going back down for a bit. To top it off, the news cycle has died, blogging by others has been slow, finding anything worth watching on YouTube is off. Not much of interest going on out there and I can't seem to get things going here. I am turning my days and nights around, slowly. Just to get a bit more... something... I'll be thinking about it.
Oh, but I did finish a recent read, and posted a review. Nothing fancy, though I do recommend the book. It's title is SHTF. I think it is only offered in ebook format. Well worth the read. I might try to start another book, one I have been meaning to hit for a while now. Then post a review on it, though maybe after a bit of my own research and a bit of thinking. I'm hoping to be able to find errors. I'm not so worried about grammar or spelling errors. I'm looking for real problems. But too, differences of opinion are good, if they are presented well. Those aren't, technically, errors. But they are much better to find.
Good night.
I may not have to do much with the driveway.
.
.
I love that idea. The sun seems to be taking care of much, if not all, of it. I'll check in a bit again, but when I looked earlier, the snow seemed to be disappearing rather nicely. A shower, earlier. Air drying my feet and hair, before going out, is always a good thing. All I will need to do is get dressed, perhaps do some light sweeping at most (probably), then head on in to town. Grocery shopping should be the last thing. Then again, I could take the cooler, buy a bag of ice while I am at it. Nah, if my friend wants to get out I would have to put the cooler in the back. I could bungee it down, but... I'll just do that last.
Oh bummer. My bank is closed today. As is the post office. The lobby might be open, in order to buy a stamp though? I best call my friend, to see if he is ready to get out. A dinner, somewhere. Perhaps he needs to go somewhere, or wants to look somewhere. I want to check out some things at a store myself. Other than groceries, a meal, and sending a very late card, I don't have anything else I will force.
I really am hungry though. I might have to get something to eat right away. Starving. I best get going before I slog down and lose the option. Later.
.
I love that idea. The sun seems to be taking care of much, if not all, of it. I'll check in a bit again, but when I looked earlier, the snow seemed to be disappearing rather nicely. A shower, earlier. Air drying my feet and hair, before going out, is always a good thing. All I will need to do is get dressed, perhaps do some light sweeping at most (probably), then head on in to town. Grocery shopping should be the last thing. Then again, I could take the cooler, buy a bag of ice while I am at it. Nah, if my friend wants to get out I would have to put the cooler in the back. I could bungee it down, but... I'll just do that last.
Oh bummer. My bank is closed today. As is the post office. The lobby might be open, in order to buy a stamp though? I best call my friend, to see if he is ready to get out. A dinner, somewhere. Perhaps he needs to go somewhere, or wants to look somewhere. I want to check out some things at a store myself. Other than groceries, a meal, and sending a very late card, I don't have anything else I will force.
I really am hungry though. I might have to get something to eat right away. Starving. I best get going before I slog down and lose the option. Later.
So much for hunger.
.
.
Oh, sure, I was terribly hungry. Hungry beyond hunger. For many things. It seems hunger is not enough, at this point, to get me going. Well, quickly. It is still there, working, under the hood, like an idling engine. I went to bed rather early. Legs, of some sort, simply gave out. Down I went.
I had too many things between home and town, the snow on the driveway being the last and ultimately too high a hurdle. Another shower shortly. Time to air dry as I plot an attack on that. And, then, at some point, I will be hitting the drive with whatever it takes. I hope it hasn't been an ice sheet. I'll know in a few hours. If it is still fluff, mostly, I will be golden. After that, a break. Probably a longer one. Whatever is needed. Then a trip to town. Gasoline, groceries, and a meal with my friend if I am able. I best hit the sidewalk, too, and with salt if that is called for.
I am sleeping and waking in pretty good lots. The cycles are pretty solid, reasonable, right. Which is fine, in one sense. For maintenance, it is perfect. For kicking the cycle over to days, it isn't quite as good. I don't have the energy, always, to do and to kick my sleep cycle over, or maintain it. Not alone. Odd how having someone around helps. Actually, not just anyone. A roommate or parent doesn't quite work. A woman type does. Even when I wasn't on medicine. I haven't figured that out yet. It wasn't a strain. Oh, once in a while, my sleep would alter. But it would right itself within days.
Something I would like to find is a source of clear kerosene. As I am looking over preps, and gearing up a bit on that, I have been considering a heater. Further, kerosene can be used in oil lamps and for other things. It lasts well, as does actual lamp oil. It is far less expensive, lamp oil costing four or more times as much and lasting no longer. A slight smell, at least at certain points, is the difference. I do have a heater that will, mostly, work for emergencies. But it is a bit trickier to work with. The fuel bottle has to be outside, and there might be more co, or co2, build up with it. Great for general garage use, not so good for home heating. No, not for long term. The stock of fuel to maintain these things for extended periods would be... untenable. Still, 20 or 40 gallons of kerosene, and five gallons of lamp oil, wouldn't be unreasonable. Though, even with that, it would be best to use that, turning over stocks, perhaps adding to stocks of use requires it, would be wise.
Every prep has to start out small, often incorrectly, then mushroom by use and understanding. Those who buy every possible tool, equipment, consumable, and such, but never implements those, will find that they have spent far too much on a very thin line of backups. When they have an emergency, they may simply not have enough to do enough with what they have. A huge quantity of beginning gear, but not enough of the daily daily. It isn't an activity, prepping that is. It is a lifestyle. One that is difficult to enter, with the ease of just going to the store we have today. The old wisdom, in the winter, of showering first in cold water, then cleaning with warm water, as with prepping, has been lost.
How deeply to go, how deeply some of us even can go, is a whole other issue. I think, as I work and explore. Oh, why tools when I use few and may not be able to use all? Because someone else can use them. And, you might be surprised how many tools I can, and have, used. Further, need provides some capacity that might not currently exist. I've been hungry enough to know what one can do to eat. I've gone beyond hunger, for hunger, even outside of life, and back. Don't worry about me. I'll... make it, or not.
My clock suggest that is just a smidgen past 5:00. A shower, then, now. A bit of time to dry. Then to dress and be ready when the energy wave returns. I sure hope sweeping will get the job done. Later.
.
Oh, sure, I was terribly hungry. Hungry beyond hunger. For many things. It seems hunger is not enough, at this point, to get me going. Well, quickly. It is still there, working, under the hood, like an idling engine. I went to bed rather early. Legs, of some sort, simply gave out. Down I went.
I had too many things between home and town, the snow on the driveway being the last and ultimately too high a hurdle. Another shower shortly. Time to air dry as I plot an attack on that. And, then, at some point, I will be hitting the drive with whatever it takes. I hope it hasn't been an ice sheet. I'll know in a few hours. If it is still fluff, mostly, I will be golden. After that, a break. Probably a longer one. Whatever is needed. Then a trip to town. Gasoline, groceries, and a meal with my friend if I am able. I best hit the sidewalk, too, and with salt if that is called for.
I am sleeping and waking in pretty good lots. The cycles are pretty solid, reasonable, right. Which is fine, in one sense. For maintenance, it is perfect. For kicking the cycle over to days, it isn't quite as good. I don't have the energy, always, to do and to kick my sleep cycle over, or maintain it. Not alone. Odd how having someone around helps. Actually, not just anyone. A roommate or parent doesn't quite work. A woman type does. Even when I wasn't on medicine. I haven't figured that out yet. It wasn't a strain. Oh, once in a while, my sleep would alter. But it would right itself within days.
Something I would like to find is a source of clear kerosene. As I am looking over preps, and gearing up a bit on that, I have been considering a heater. Further, kerosene can be used in oil lamps and for other things. It lasts well, as does actual lamp oil. It is far less expensive, lamp oil costing four or more times as much and lasting no longer. A slight smell, at least at certain points, is the difference. I do have a heater that will, mostly, work for emergencies. But it is a bit trickier to work with. The fuel bottle has to be outside, and there might be more co, or co2, build up with it. Great for general garage use, not so good for home heating. No, not for long term. The stock of fuel to maintain these things for extended periods would be... untenable. Still, 20 or 40 gallons of kerosene, and five gallons of lamp oil, wouldn't be unreasonable. Though, even with that, it would be best to use that, turning over stocks, perhaps adding to stocks of use requires it, would be wise.
Every prep has to start out small, often incorrectly, then mushroom by use and understanding. Those who buy every possible tool, equipment, consumable, and such, but never implements those, will find that they have spent far too much on a very thin line of backups. When they have an emergency, they may simply not have enough to do enough with what they have. A huge quantity of beginning gear, but not enough of the daily daily. It isn't an activity, prepping that is. It is a lifestyle. One that is difficult to enter, with the ease of just going to the store we have today. The old wisdom, in the winter, of showering first in cold water, then cleaning with warm water, as with prepping, has been lost.
How deeply to go, how deeply some of us even can go, is a whole other issue. I think, as I work and explore. Oh, why tools when I use few and may not be able to use all? Because someone else can use them. And, you might be surprised how many tools I can, and have, used. Further, need provides some capacity that might not currently exist. I've been hungry enough to know what one can do to eat. I've gone beyond hunger, for hunger, even outside of life, and back. Don't worry about me. I'll... make it, or not.
My clock suggest that is just a smidgen past 5:00. A shower, then, now. A bit of time to dry. Then to dress and be ready when the energy wave returns. I sure hope sweeping will get the job done. Later.
Friday, November 14, 2014
Sports?
.
.
Well, there is one sport I truly used to enjoy. There never was an opportunity to play. Too old now, but... Yes, I played football, basketball, and competed in several variations in track and field. But that just wasn't the same. Even on a football team that only had enough to field a team and a half, against teams with 50 players. The difference? Padding, intent, intensity. I was a beast, in football, even rarely getting a break. Four and change averaged q.b. sacks a game, and two to three turnovers. I ran over the little guys they sent to stop me, and around the fat boys. Loved it. Basketball wasn't bad, but it was supposed to be no contact. A game, like football, but with no padding and basketball but with contact? In a heartbeat, but only in my dreams at this point.
.
Well, there is one sport I truly used to enjoy. There never was an opportunity to play. Too old now, but... Yes, I played football, basketball, and competed in several variations in track and field. But that just wasn't the same. Even on a football team that only had enough to field a team and a half, against teams with 50 players. The difference? Padding, intent, intensity. I was a beast, in football, even rarely getting a break. Four and change averaged q.b. sacks a game, and two to three turnovers. I ran over the little guys they sent to stop me, and around the fat boys. Loved it. Basketball wasn't bad, but it was supposed to be no contact. A game, like football, but with no padding and basketball but with contact? In a heartbeat, but only in my dreams at this point.
Powdery, and perhaps an inch or two at most.
.
.
I might be able to just sweep the snow from the drive. That would be optimal. Then a trip to town, getting gas, groceries, and a social call in. That would allow me to be ready in case we end up with a huge load of snow. That snowblower I have is a monster. While I have seen larger snowblowers, I haven't seen many of them. This can handle a foot or two of snow without much difficulty. As long as it isn't mush. That stuff is difficult for anything, and heavy.
I made rice and burger. I will add just a bit of butter, and let half a cup of cheddar melt in as well. I wish I had fresh onion to chop into that. I'll add onions to my list. They go bad so fast though, sometimes. After that a shower, and time to air dry and digest the food. Then on to clearing the snow. THEN to town. It gets so complicated so quickly, at least for me. Yes, yes, I have my list made out. Onions are on it, as one of my more regular shopping items, but probably scratched out.
The nice thing about smartphones is the ability to have a running, semi-permanent list capability. Scratch something out, erase the scratch when you need it again. Although I must admit, when this phone is done with the contract I am probably just dumping smartphones. If I can't get a phone without a camera, and tracking, I'll simply go back to a land-line. While a land-line can be bugged, and there are other methods of jacking around with it, it can't give away my location, it can't hack my computer (since they won't be connected), it can't give away my credit card numbers or other data, and it can be kept out of the phone book.
Later.
.
I might be able to just sweep the snow from the drive. That would be optimal. Then a trip to town, getting gas, groceries, and a social call in. That would allow me to be ready in case we end up with a huge load of snow. That snowblower I have is a monster. While I have seen larger snowblowers, I haven't seen many of them. This can handle a foot or two of snow without much difficulty. As long as it isn't mush. That stuff is difficult for anything, and heavy.
I made rice and burger. I will add just a bit of butter, and let half a cup of cheddar melt in as well. I wish I had fresh onion to chop into that. I'll add onions to my list. They go bad so fast though, sometimes. After that a shower, and time to air dry and digest the food. Then on to clearing the snow. THEN to town. It gets so complicated so quickly, at least for me. Yes, yes, I have my list made out. Onions are on it, as one of my more regular shopping items, but probably scratched out.
The nice thing about smartphones is the ability to have a running, semi-permanent list capability. Scratch something out, erase the scratch when you need it again. Although I must admit, when this phone is done with the contract I am probably just dumping smartphones. If I can't get a phone without a camera, and tracking, I'll simply go back to a land-line. While a land-line can be bugged, and there are other methods of jacking around with it, it can't give away my location, it can't hack my computer (since they won't be connected), it can't give away my credit card numbers or other data, and it can be kept out of the phone book.
Later.
Woke well enough.
.
.
Actually, I woke at 22:00. Not wanting to get up so soon, I laid back and thought. After some time, I realized I wasn't going to fall back to sleep. Still, I wanted to stay in bed, to rest. While trying to flip days and nights, I do better with a full sleep and extra rest if I can get it. Staying in bed was wearing thin. I was just about to get up anyway when the alarm went off. Startled. Had I set the time wrong? I had meant to set the alarm for 1:00. A quick check showed me that the time was right. I either lost time or actually did fall back to sleep, or some sort of it. That is a lot of time to just... stay in bed. I was thinking of perfectly nothing, though I am sure I was awake. I think. Oh well.
I haven't checked snow depth yet. That might complicate getting out today. I don't have fresh gas, something that was on my list should I have gotten out yesterday. The gas I have is not good. I hate driving over snow, as it packs that down making removal impossible for the tread tracks in the snow. Hmm... I'll think as I wake. I will check the depth right after this post.
I did finish drying the laundry, but I haven't done a thing with it. I might get to that shortly, then a shower. When day breaks, whatever of it there may be, I might start in on shoveling. The depth doesn't really matter, unless we got two feet or something. It isn't the weight of the snow that gets to me, it's the stooping and actions of shoveling that beat me up. I really want to get to town today. For a number of reasons.
Among them is hunger. It's not a little hunger, or a single hunger. They habe grown well beyond my ability to ignore. I actually hope to be into town early enough to eat a breakfast, do some tasks, get my friend out if he wishes to get out, do more shopping, and then eat again. I have learned some control. I am beyond that. Still, I am hoping to keep it in some sort of check. Of course, there is another appetite or two that can't be fed in this way. One I can figure out through stores. The other I simply have to suffer.
As little as I actually eat, one would think I would have become thin. As old as infirm as I am, one would also think another of my hungers would have dissipated. Other hungers are supposed to disappear in time, or with age or illness, but they don't. Just as I don't appear ill, mostly, I also have shed none of these forms of youth. Prayer, will, none of it, can completely work. HUNGRY. I have learned a few things, through time. Avoiding tricks, shitting on traps, moving as I must but not becoming my own slave. A balance of things. Yeah... I should be extremely hungry after... no... I need to eat now. Rice and burger might not be a delight, but it will do. For now. Three meals today? Aye, and broasted chicken and potato wedges will be brought home. FOOD! And maybe libations. I have been meaning to put a small stock of beer up. Might need to get extra. A case or two might satisfy, for a bit. Women? I'll just have to pray like hell. Oh, they are out there. They are available. But I am holding off for a wife. A good one or none. Took me decades to get that under control, been a decade clean. Gah!
Later.
.
Actually, I woke at 22:00. Not wanting to get up so soon, I laid back and thought. After some time, I realized I wasn't going to fall back to sleep. Still, I wanted to stay in bed, to rest. While trying to flip days and nights, I do better with a full sleep and extra rest if I can get it. Staying in bed was wearing thin. I was just about to get up anyway when the alarm went off. Startled. Had I set the time wrong? I had meant to set the alarm for 1:00. A quick check showed me that the time was right. I either lost time or actually did fall back to sleep, or some sort of it. That is a lot of time to just... stay in bed. I was thinking of perfectly nothing, though I am sure I was awake. I think. Oh well.
I haven't checked snow depth yet. That might complicate getting out today. I don't have fresh gas, something that was on my list should I have gotten out yesterday. The gas I have is not good. I hate driving over snow, as it packs that down making removal impossible for the tread tracks in the snow. Hmm... I'll think as I wake. I will check the depth right after this post.
I did finish drying the laundry, but I haven't done a thing with it. I might get to that shortly, then a shower. When day breaks, whatever of it there may be, I might start in on shoveling. The depth doesn't really matter, unless we got two feet or something. It isn't the weight of the snow that gets to me, it's the stooping and actions of shoveling that beat me up. I really want to get to town today. For a number of reasons.
Among them is hunger. It's not a little hunger, or a single hunger. They habe grown well beyond my ability to ignore. I actually hope to be into town early enough to eat a breakfast, do some tasks, get my friend out if he wishes to get out, do more shopping, and then eat again. I have learned some control. I am beyond that. Still, I am hoping to keep it in some sort of check. Of course, there is another appetite or two that can't be fed in this way. One I can figure out through stores. The other I simply have to suffer.
As little as I actually eat, one would think I would have become thin. As old as infirm as I am, one would also think another of my hungers would have dissipated. Other hungers are supposed to disappear in time, or with age or illness, but they don't. Just as I don't appear ill, mostly, I also have shed none of these forms of youth. Prayer, will, none of it, can completely work. HUNGRY. I have learned a few things, through time. Avoiding tricks, shitting on traps, moving as I must but not becoming my own slave. A balance of things. Yeah... I should be extremely hungry after... no... I need to eat now. Rice and burger might not be a delight, but it will do. For now. Three meals today? Aye, and broasted chicken and potato wedges will be brought home. FOOD! And maybe libations. I have been meaning to put a small stock of beer up. Might need to get extra. A case or two might satisfy, for a bit. Women? I'll just have to pray like hell. Oh, they are out there. They are available. But I am holding off for a wife. A good one or none. Took me decades to get that under control, been a decade clean. Gah!
Later.
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Snow and bedtime.
.
.
We got our first snow today. In the next few days we may get much more. It is a beautiful thing, the first snow. The thought of 20 inches of the stuff sort of steals the pleasure. I didn't quite catch anything but 16 to 20 inches, and the name of my area. I was distracted at the time. I can't be sure if that is for the mountains, or if that is for my actual area. Then again, I would rather have even a heavy snow rather than a snow rain mix. Ah well, I am still enjoying it. Let tomorrow worry about itself.
I had hoped to do more today. It just wasn't in the cards. I have only been up about 15 hours, but I am hitting the upper limits of my ability to just stay awake. I couldn't get a nap in earlier. That might or might not have helped. Irrelevant since I simply could not go down. I did do some of my list, and fixed a meal. For now that is enough. Crashing, have been for several hours now. I have made it just as far as the tether will allow. At least I am breaking pretty heavily into daytime. Take it where you can get it.
Good night.
.
We got our first snow today. In the next few days we may get much more. It is a beautiful thing, the first snow. The thought of 20 inches of the stuff sort of steals the pleasure. I didn't quite catch anything but 16 to 20 inches, and the name of my area. I was distracted at the time. I can't be sure if that is for the mountains, or if that is for my actual area. Then again, I would rather have even a heavy snow rather than a snow rain mix. Ah well, I am still enjoying it. Let tomorrow worry about itself.
I had hoped to do more today. It just wasn't in the cards. I have only been up about 15 hours, but I am hitting the upper limits of my ability to just stay awake. I couldn't get a nap in earlier. That might or might not have helped. Irrelevant since I simply could not go down. I did do some of my list, and fixed a meal. For now that is enough. Crashing, have been for several hours now. I have made it just as far as the tether will allow. At least I am breaking pretty heavily into daytime. Take it where you can get it.
Good night.
Coffee and breakfast.
.
.
My morning is working rather well. Coffee helps. A new pot was needed, and made. The laundry is about ready to cycle through. Actually, it has been for a while, but I got tangled with cooking and eating food. I did remember to thaw meat for the next day or two. Beyond, little tasks have been being done between this and that. I won't say it is a heavy work day, though it might turn into one. I am a bit pleased with how things are going this morning already. After this post, I'll check on laundry.
Something seems odd to me. One of the things I do nearly daily is solving the daily sudoku puzzles. There are... hmm... seven various games, each more difficult than the last. Beyond solving them, I work to do them until I solve them at the 100% level. Now, some days, it is more difficult, some days less. Of course, games at certain levels, themselves, are more or less difficult. If you play a game, you know that you have skills that, in certain situations, work with your strengths. Those games, or parts of them, are to your advantage. The games that seem focused on your weaknesses are more difficult. Beyond that, though, there are days where I focus more easily, and days I cannot focus very well. All know this. The oddity that I see is that, even on days I cannot focus, I can play just as well. The difficulty is forcing myself to play. If I can get past that, I play just as well on days when I am weak. Yes, that is odd. Now, this is all on average. Some days, for no seeming reason, regardless of focus, strengths, and weaknesses, I play better or worse. It simply isn't based on what I thought would be a, or the, major factor. Very strange.
A shower, after I deal with laundry, I do believe. While I am not quite up to getting out, possibly, I may do that anyway. Though I may actually take a short nap after laundry, or whenever I end up dealing with the first load out of the dryer. Then take a shower. If, after that, I have a bit going, even if weakly, I may attempt to sneak into town. I need milk, and would like to buy a few of my medium stores such as canned beans, tuna, and some other near bulk items. As well, if I can, I would like to get my friend out for a meal. And I would like to see if he still needs to figure out a dvd/vcr system. If he still needs, I will ask if he wishes me to order one. I found a good one. He is good for it. He is a great friend that way. Better than I. I have to be reminded often, which is why I don't like to borrow. Then again, shame and humility from failure is a good thing, at time. Reminders of life, sort of humanity, and such. Like all other pains, I suppose?
Well, on to laundry. Good day.
.
My morning is working rather well. Coffee helps. A new pot was needed, and made. The laundry is about ready to cycle through. Actually, it has been for a while, but I got tangled with cooking and eating food. I did remember to thaw meat for the next day or two. Beyond, little tasks have been being done between this and that. I won't say it is a heavy work day, though it might turn into one. I am a bit pleased with how things are going this morning already. After this post, I'll check on laundry.
Something seems odd to me. One of the things I do nearly daily is solving the daily sudoku puzzles. There are... hmm... seven various games, each more difficult than the last. Beyond solving them, I work to do them until I solve them at the 100% level. Now, some days, it is more difficult, some days less. Of course, games at certain levels, themselves, are more or less difficult. If you play a game, you know that you have skills that, in certain situations, work with your strengths. Those games, or parts of them, are to your advantage. The games that seem focused on your weaknesses are more difficult. Beyond that, though, there are days where I focus more easily, and days I cannot focus very well. All know this. The oddity that I see is that, even on days I cannot focus, I can play just as well. The difficulty is forcing myself to play. If I can get past that, I play just as well on days when I am weak. Yes, that is odd. Now, this is all on average. Some days, for no seeming reason, regardless of focus, strengths, and weaknesses, I play better or worse. It simply isn't based on what I thought would be a, or the, major factor. Very strange.
A shower, after I deal with laundry, I do believe. While I am not quite up to getting out, possibly, I may do that anyway. Though I may actually take a short nap after laundry, or whenever I end up dealing with the first load out of the dryer. Then take a shower. If, after that, I have a bit going, even if weakly, I may attempt to sneak into town. I need milk, and would like to buy a few of my medium stores such as canned beans, tuna, and some other near bulk items. As well, if I can, I would like to get my friend out for a meal. And I would like to see if he still needs to figure out a dvd/vcr system. If he still needs, I will ask if he wishes me to order one. I found a good one. He is good for it. He is a great friend that way. Better than I. I have to be reminded often, which is why I don't like to borrow. Then again, shame and humility from failure is a good thing, at time. Reminders of life, sort of humanity, and such. Like all other pains, I suppose?
Well, on to laundry. Good day.
Hmm? I'm getting to it.
.
.
A good sleep, an easy right waking, and then more. I ran a fresh rinse for the dishes and started a load of laundry first thing. A cup of coffee, blogging, "news" (what of that is available), after setting a timer for an hour. It seemed as if I had just settled down when the alarm went off. I thought about just turning it off and going back to my attempts at gather information and waking. I knew what would happen if I did that. Actually just realizing what would happen is an improvement over some times. More, when I realize that doing nothing leads to nothing, for shame I cannot just do nothing. So, I dried the dishes, and set that up, and a few other things. Laundry should be ready... oh... wait... there are clothes in the dryer. I will run that for 20 minutes, then put the new wash in to dry while sorting the dried clothing. Bleh.
After that? I am not sure what today will bring. I will do what I can. I have a couple of smaller jobs and several larger tasks, from the old list. I will just have to consider what I can do, and when. Hmm... I am hungry, so I may put out some meat to thaw. At some point I need to refresh some of my stores. I have been using much of what I buy for shorter term stores. I haven't been turning the grains over, yet. I can't really do that until I purchase a grain mill. Oh, yes, that is coming. I do get lost in this and that and forget. I will be checking my account balances shortly, and figuring out when to order that. If all is good, I may do that at the first of the month. I just need to make sure I have enough for the hog, and that bit for a side of beef, or at least a good start to a savings for that. I really have been doing better about finances.
Let me just suggest, to any who are considering buying a house... save about 20-25% over what your payments are going to be, and assume that when you buy a home, you will be spending that money on your home. At the very least, the first five years will be filling items that, as a new homeowner, you will need and want. Items you do not consider, as a renter, necessary or useful. These items can be anything from tools to minor improvements. Further, after you have many of the minor things you need and want (want is sometimes... not as it would seem, even if true in a basic way), you will want to keep that savings going for other things dealing with your home. A new furnace? Air conditioning? But on into new siding, lawn care, water heater, electrical repair and upkeep, and on and on that list will go. While you don't want to bury yourself in your home, you do want to maintain value. Yeah, I probably am not doing that as well as I should, but... A home is a continuing cost and investment. Then again, for me, it is a simple place to live where I don't have to deal with others about it quite so directly, or at their whim. I mostly assume what I am putting in is lost. Much as those who buy gold and silver in a prep scenario. They aren't buying it to have it's value increase, according to a dollar, yen, pound, or such, but as a value when there is no real value to the coin of the realm. Further, how valuable a home, gold, silver, or the rest will really be is anyone's guess. I suppose it comes down, to some degree, to what you can take with you, at various stages. In the end, you take what you were born with, if there are intermediary steps of loss, and gain.
.
A good sleep, an easy right waking, and then more. I ran a fresh rinse for the dishes and started a load of laundry first thing. A cup of coffee, blogging, "news" (what of that is available), after setting a timer for an hour. It seemed as if I had just settled down when the alarm went off. I thought about just turning it off and going back to my attempts at gather information and waking. I knew what would happen if I did that. Actually just realizing what would happen is an improvement over some times. More, when I realize that doing nothing leads to nothing, for shame I cannot just do nothing. So, I dried the dishes, and set that up, and a few other things. Laundry should be ready... oh... wait... there are clothes in the dryer. I will run that for 20 minutes, then put the new wash in to dry while sorting the dried clothing. Bleh.
After that? I am not sure what today will bring. I will do what I can. I have a couple of smaller jobs and several larger tasks, from the old list. I will just have to consider what I can do, and when. Hmm... I am hungry, so I may put out some meat to thaw. At some point I need to refresh some of my stores. I have been using much of what I buy for shorter term stores. I haven't been turning the grains over, yet. I can't really do that until I purchase a grain mill. Oh, yes, that is coming. I do get lost in this and that and forget. I will be checking my account balances shortly, and figuring out when to order that. If all is good, I may do that at the first of the month. I just need to make sure I have enough for the hog, and that bit for a side of beef, or at least a good start to a savings for that. I really have been doing better about finances.
Let me just suggest, to any who are considering buying a house... save about 20-25% over what your payments are going to be, and assume that when you buy a home, you will be spending that money on your home. At the very least, the first five years will be filling items that, as a new homeowner, you will need and want. Items you do not consider, as a renter, necessary or useful. These items can be anything from tools to minor improvements. Further, after you have many of the minor things you need and want (want is sometimes... not as it would seem, even if true in a basic way), you will want to keep that savings going for other things dealing with your home. A new furnace? Air conditioning? But on into new siding, lawn care, water heater, electrical repair and upkeep, and on and on that list will go. While you don't want to bury yourself in your home, you do want to maintain value. Yeah, I probably am not doing that as well as I should, but... A home is a continuing cost and investment. Then again, for me, it is a simple place to live where I don't have to deal with others about it quite so directly, or at their whim. I mostly assume what I am putting in is lost. Much as those who buy gold and silver in a prep scenario. They aren't buying it to have it's value increase, according to a dollar, yen, pound, or such, but as a value when there is no real value to the coin of the realm. Further, how valuable a home, gold, silver, or the rest will really be is anyone's guess. I suppose it comes down, to some degree, to what you can take with you, at various stages. In the end, you take what you were born with, if there are intermediary steps of loss, and gain.
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Do you want to see?
.
.
Sort of put into a different form, and handed off to others, but in this movie, you will see how coyotes see. And, perhaps, understand why they have problems. The problems are small, compared to what they face and do. Retired. As I see the movie, an active has become functional, and is training a next gen. He went to far, and like some, can't seem to die. Though perhaps he has found a way, by making it so. If a true one, he would also have to kill his twin. None are capable of doing that, for reasons. I'm only halfway through the show but I am sure where it is going and what is happening. As in the movie, many fear what they don't know. And, as with politics of today, the supposed good guys are trying to cripple the real good guys, those of the establishment, actively helping the bad guys. And, as with all of these kind, they know. People are finally starting to know, though they seem to wait until they have the video evidence in front of them. Even then, many don't look or wish to know. Which... is why they exist.
.
Sort of put into a different form, and handed off to others, but in this movie, you will see how coyotes see. And, perhaps, understand why they have problems. The problems are small, compared to what they face and do. Retired. As I see the movie, an active has become functional, and is training a next gen. He went to far, and like some, can't seem to die. Though perhaps he has found a way, by making it so. If a true one, he would also have to kill his twin. None are capable of doing that, for reasons. I'm only halfway through the show but I am sure where it is going and what is happening. As in the movie, many fear what they don't know. And, as with politics of today, the supposed good guys are trying to cripple the real good guys, those of the establishment, actively helping the bad guys. And, as with all of these kind, they know. People are finally starting to know, though they seem to wait until they have the video evidence in front of them. Even then, many don't look or wish to know. Which... is why they exist.
Finally, curiosity won.
.
.
Sure, I was called a coyote, a trickster, by a man long ago. He seemed upset, and would speak no further. That is the truth. And, I was annoyed with his proclamation, and hurt. In spite of, after him saying it, actually... realizing, or believing. A slight smirk ran the length of my indignation. Now, I had sipped a bit. If you have ever supped on libation, you may know that you can have... funny reactions to things. And yet I was pretty sure. A coyote, a trickster? Even if, perhaps, I agreed that such was true, I didn't know what it meant, or at least what he meant by that. I never have done the research, save very thinly. One sentence definitions, perhaps a paragraph.
So, tonight, for the first time, I went looking. No, I am not interested in such a story told by some, probably, plump middle aged British woman, or some green fanatic who doesn't understand squat, or some... well... you know. I wanted to try to find some of these stories told by the old tellers. As much as that is possible. Of course, some of it might be... aggrandized for whites or a more general market. And there would be variances. The trickster is not just the coyote usually, but also the wolf, raven, and others. Still, I thought I wanted to hear some of the stories. Here are two.
.
Sure, I was called a coyote, a trickster, by a man long ago. He seemed upset, and would speak no further. That is the truth. And, I was annoyed with his proclamation, and hurt. In spite of, after him saying it, actually... realizing, or believing. A slight smirk ran the length of my indignation. Now, I had sipped a bit. If you have ever supped on libation, you may know that you can have... funny reactions to things. And yet I was pretty sure. A coyote, a trickster? Even if, perhaps, I agreed that such was true, I didn't know what it meant, or at least what he meant by that. I never have done the research, save very thinly. One sentence definitions, perhaps a paragraph.
So, tonight, for the first time, I went looking. No, I am not interested in such a story told by some, probably, plump middle aged British woman, or some green fanatic who doesn't understand squat, or some... well... you know. I wanted to try to find some of these stories told by the old tellers. As much as that is possible. Of course, some of it might be... aggrandized for whites or a more general market. And there would be variances. The trickster is not just the coyote usually, but also the wolf, raven, and others. Still, I thought I wanted to hear some of the stories. Here are two.
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Do you see what is?
.
.
Do you see what some choose for you to see? How much is created, of what you see? How much is fated? Recently, in a series of events, someone saw something and wanted to show another what they had seen, in amazement. Yet when that went to happen, what was seen was no different from the usual when the one to be shown was brought to bear on the vision. Sometimes I do these things on purpose. Sometimes I do them quite on purpose. Just stories, mind you. Recently, it was fate. If I... retain no small grin for it.
.
Do you see what some choose for you to see? How much is created, of what you see? How much is fated? Recently, in a series of events, someone saw something and wanted to show another what they had seen, in amazement. Yet when that went to happen, what was seen was no different from the usual when the one to be shown was brought to bear on the vision. Sometimes I do these things on purpose. Sometimes I do them quite on purpose. Just stories, mind you. Recently, it was fate. If I... retain no small grin for it.
Weird wake.
.
.
I snapped awake. Right around 18:40~48? Something like that. The phone range almost immediately. Dinner. I had just checked the phone to see if I had missed a call, but I hadn't. I went to bed around 11:00. That is one the the longest sleeps I have had in a few days, if not by choice. Things just work out that way sometimes. I really like eights hours of sleep. As I have mentioned, four to six is optimal, or used to be. While it kept me grumpy, I worked better and harder. Even without my conditions, this lead to a eventual crash. With the condition, the crash just comes faster. Back in the day I just lived through the crash. Now I... just literally crash. I don't think I've skinned it too close yet, so that a crash is imminent, but I am working on it. It is actually a lot harder to get to the crash point these days, but I do give it some serious effort from time to time.
.
I snapped awake. Right around 18:40~48? Something like that. The phone range almost immediately. Dinner. I had just checked the phone to see if I had missed a call, but I hadn't. I went to bed around 11:00. That is one the the longest sleeps I have had in a few days, if not by choice. Things just work out that way sometimes. I really like eights hours of sleep. As I have mentioned, four to six is optimal, or used to be. While it kept me grumpy, I worked better and harder. Even without my conditions, this lead to a eventual crash. With the condition, the crash just comes faster. Back in the day I just lived through the crash. Now I... just literally crash. I don't think I've skinned it too close yet, so that a crash is imminent, but I am working on it. It is actually a lot harder to get to the crash point these days, but I do give it some serious effort from time to time.
Tools, bits, pieces, and parts.
.
.
I went on a bit of a splurge last month. Oh, not a huge one. Some things on my list, mostly little things, were tended. A winter coat that is truly worthy of the name. A few small tools and parts, which I have been purchasing over time anyway. Mostly little, but annoying, items I had been fearful of pulling the trigger and buying. Pillows was another group of items, which are working out. I am pleased with my choices and decision to do so. However, for the next few months, I am going back to living like a monk. Until the hog I put a call in on, and butcher costs, are tended, I will be holding back. Plus I want to see what a half a beef will cost, either ordering that next or saving a bit more for it.
However, that doesn't mean I can't window shop. Hand drills, planes of various sorts, crosscut, rip, and scroll saws, and some other such, for literal hand woodworking are on my mind. Getting the garage in order will add to that. And, perhaps over time, stocking up on wood. It doesn't hurt to have a half dozen plywood panels, of various thicknesses, a score of 2x4, perhaps some 2x2s or 2x1s, and maybe a few 4x4s as well. Not too much, just enough that, along with the tools in stock, a few projects could go forward. If skills increase, and furniture work might be under consideration, then perhaps more expensive woods, in small doses, could go into inventory. Thoughts... My garage can store a goodly lot of stock. I simply don't want to begin stocking too heavily until use makes that a reasonable proposition. I don't know how long wood stores well, and I don't really want to test that.
Beyond tools, I keep reviewing various lanterns and non-electric lighting solutions. These are alternatives, and solutions for temporary electric outages for now. The reason they are alternatives, and not common use, is because they aren't as good as electrical lighting. Still, even a six hour to two day power outage, when it is overcast, makes alternative lighting quite reasonable. I have a minor heater, though even that needs some thought for in the home. Longer outages, and the problem of fuel changes from a secondary to a primary issue. As with anything, just start, figuring out the longer term solutions as you go. I still haven't decided on which system to go with. Kerosene, and multi-fuel lamps have advantages. Oil lamps could have a place. Olive (vegetable as well) oil lamps could be handy. How bright is this over that? I don't know. I am looking, learning, and watching as some things that were considered the best are simply becoming unavailable. Then again, while a $200 lamp might be the best, if the company goes out of business just how good are those Chinese replacement parts going to be? If they even make them. A couple of inexpensive oil lamps to start, probably. Right now, just flashlights.
There are so many options, and so many areas, to consider. Has anyone thought about writing? I have considered communications, but... that assumes electricity. I won't bother with electrical notion unless/until I get something going on solar. Wind isn't viable here. As to the viability of solar, itself, that is another question. I have things, of modern and not, to get to before I consider such a notion... expense. The problem with the edge we are approaching is even how close, or close to hitting bottom, we are, is not easy to tell. It may, if mechanisms and ingenuity work, but a very slow thing beyond the rest. I simply don't have the means to be absolutely sure. Further, there is a possibility that the nation saves itself by fixing things, socially, politically, economically... to varying degrees, much as with simple, humble, honest, prayer. While I doubt mankind easily, I do not doubt God. Then again, I don't doubt His ire, at this point in American life. A nation that has economically fed on tens of millions of aborted babies, and many more who were refused simple existence through "choice". Christ said, if this were His kingdom, they would have been fighting to get to Him. Which means, even being pro-life, I have not done enough.
I didn't say anything I discuss is easy. I won't suggest my preps will be perfect either. But I am looking for the best options in an attempt to skip through the dark period with the least tribulation. I am hoping to become skilled with these tools. I may never be a true master of them. I don't need to be to survive, even go on to thrive potentially. I merely need to have a basic working knowledge, letting need, ingenuity, and faith cover the rest. Trying to foresee needs into an unknown isn't perfectly possible. But it isn't a useless effort, either. It is coming. Some of it can be foreseen better by looking to the past. What was the easiest fuel for lanterns to produce locally, with the least tech? What did they write with, and how was that maintained? Some of it can't be realized. Tech, while it may go away as we know it, has advanced beyond what it was. Simply understanding how to extract this from that, or find core materials, and what has been found but left untapped, if that knowledge can be accessed and those of knowledge brought to the task... All of it, though, is a big question mark. This won't be like moving to a new place. For a time, it will be like moving to a new time. Just what happens in families, when men have to work to the bone and women can no longer compete, but have that competitive nature from an easier tech world, is going to lead to some very... difficult times. Until it settles out. So deep is that well, so dark too, and so many areas to be considered.
Never worry. But do prepare. It really is coming, soon or late. I will take all the time I can get. I need it, between deciding, and affording, even the little things. *light bulb lantern lighting up*
.
I went on a bit of a splurge last month. Oh, not a huge one. Some things on my list, mostly little things, were tended. A winter coat that is truly worthy of the name. A few small tools and parts, which I have been purchasing over time anyway. Mostly little, but annoying, items I had been fearful of pulling the trigger and buying. Pillows was another group of items, which are working out. I am pleased with my choices and decision to do so. However, for the next few months, I am going back to living like a monk. Until the hog I put a call in on, and butcher costs, are tended, I will be holding back. Plus I want to see what a half a beef will cost, either ordering that next or saving a bit more for it.
However, that doesn't mean I can't window shop. Hand drills, planes of various sorts, crosscut, rip, and scroll saws, and some other such, for literal hand woodworking are on my mind. Getting the garage in order will add to that. And, perhaps over time, stocking up on wood. It doesn't hurt to have a half dozen plywood panels, of various thicknesses, a score of 2x4, perhaps some 2x2s or 2x1s, and maybe a few 4x4s as well. Not too much, just enough that, along with the tools in stock, a few projects could go forward. If skills increase, and furniture work might be under consideration, then perhaps more expensive woods, in small doses, could go into inventory. Thoughts... My garage can store a goodly lot of stock. I simply don't want to begin stocking too heavily until use makes that a reasonable proposition. I don't know how long wood stores well, and I don't really want to test that.
Beyond tools, I keep reviewing various lanterns and non-electric lighting solutions. These are alternatives, and solutions for temporary electric outages for now. The reason they are alternatives, and not common use, is because they aren't as good as electrical lighting. Still, even a six hour to two day power outage, when it is overcast, makes alternative lighting quite reasonable. I have a minor heater, though even that needs some thought for in the home. Longer outages, and the problem of fuel changes from a secondary to a primary issue. As with anything, just start, figuring out the longer term solutions as you go. I still haven't decided on which system to go with. Kerosene, and multi-fuel lamps have advantages. Oil lamps could have a place. Olive (vegetable as well) oil lamps could be handy. How bright is this over that? I don't know. I am looking, learning, and watching as some things that were considered the best are simply becoming unavailable. Then again, while a $200 lamp might be the best, if the company goes out of business just how good are those Chinese replacement parts going to be? If they even make them. A couple of inexpensive oil lamps to start, probably. Right now, just flashlights.
There are so many options, and so many areas, to consider. Has anyone thought about writing? I have considered communications, but... that assumes electricity. I won't bother with electrical notion unless/until I get something going on solar. Wind isn't viable here. As to the viability of solar, itself, that is another question. I have things, of modern and not, to get to before I consider such a notion... expense. The problem with the edge we are approaching is even how close, or close to hitting bottom, we are, is not easy to tell. It may, if mechanisms and ingenuity work, but a very slow thing beyond the rest. I simply don't have the means to be absolutely sure. Further, there is a possibility that the nation saves itself by fixing things, socially, politically, economically... to varying degrees, much as with simple, humble, honest, prayer. While I doubt mankind easily, I do not doubt God. Then again, I don't doubt His ire, at this point in American life. A nation that has economically fed on tens of millions of aborted babies, and many more who were refused simple existence through "choice". Christ said, if this were His kingdom, they would have been fighting to get to Him. Which means, even being pro-life, I have not done enough.
I didn't say anything I discuss is easy. I won't suggest my preps will be perfect either. But I am looking for the best options in an attempt to skip through the dark period with the least tribulation. I am hoping to become skilled with these tools. I may never be a true master of them. I don't need to be to survive, even go on to thrive potentially. I merely need to have a basic working knowledge, letting need, ingenuity, and faith cover the rest. Trying to foresee needs into an unknown isn't perfectly possible. But it isn't a useless effort, either. It is coming. Some of it can be foreseen better by looking to the past. What was the easiest fuel for lanterns to produce locally, with the least tech? What did they write with, and how was that maintained? Some of it can't be realized. Tech, while it may go away as we know it, has advanced beyond what it was. Simply understanding how to extract this from that, or find core materials, and what has been found but left untapped, if that knowledge can be accessed and those of knowledge brought to the task... All of it, though, is a big question mark. This won't be like moving to a new place. For a time, it will be like moving to a new time. Just what happens in families, when men have to work to the bone and women can no longer compete, but have that competitive nature from an easier tech world, is going to lead to some very... difficult times. Until it settles out. So deep is that well, so dark too, and so many areas to be considered.
Never worry. But do prepare. It really is coming, soon or late. I will take all the time I can get. I need it, between deciding, and affording, even the little things. *
Monday, November 10, 2014
Awake. Not one iota more than that.
.
.
I don't feel too bad. I don't feel good either. I little bit of distortion, a slight headache, a minor stomach grump, and no focus. Music sometimes help. Up or down, I consume that as I might coffee or food. Dinner was eaten, and enjoyed. Coffee has gone down. I did reset the soak for the dishes. I am washing those three times. Some of the dishes... yeah... Trust me. I had set out a bowl of... something... It had been in the refrigerator for a long time. I meant to wash it a while ago. It ended up being pushed behind something, and... became a whole three or four magnitudes more intense of an experiment than what it had been in the refrigerator. Gah! Gross! I think it barked a tiny bark and slithered a bit as I was emptying that bowl. Wash, wash, wash!
However, beyond that, I am not sure anything else will happen today... tonight. Literal, figurative, tomato, tamatto. Rough, just not boldly rough. Back to a minor form of that sense of having ridden a roller coaster a few too many times. Bleh. Not to the level it was, just a minor fall back into that. Two steps forward, one back. No worries. I will still try to get some small things done, finish the dishes, and laundry, and take it as easy as need be. I really do have to negotiate with my body. As with a wife, a job, a family, and all else, there are dues, requirements, and limits. Knowing these will see much more safely done. Although, sometimes, you just have to push it. Thankfully or not, life simply can't be codified. So we do the best we can, flying by the seat of our pants, or as today... on the seat of my pants. Bleh.
I am truly enjoying one of the robes I bought the other day. If I get too chilly, I wrap up in it. When heat becomes a problem, off it goes. It's a furnace I don't have to get up to fix, or even more than slightly consciously register. Plus, the girls can sit in my lap, and claw, without worry. Heck, they love it too! I just regret all that time I messed around, trying to find the "best" one. Yeah, I know, I simply didn't like the price, but didn't want to risk inexpensive, or cheap, without being able to actually touch, try it on, and see it. Merchants are terrible about honestly evaluating or hawking. Sell, sell, sell. Even reviews are terrible. Who knows how stupid or corrupt the reviewer is. One of the best $20 I have spent. Even if they last a few years, it's enough. And they will. Perhaps many.
Hmm... I need to find a way to wake, or maybe nap. It's early, as my day goes, but it's an ugly day. I'll... be thinking it over, unless I just crash for a bit longer. Later.
.
I don't feel too bad. I don't feel good either. I little bit of distortion, a slight headache, a minor stomach grump, and no focus. Music sometimes help. Up or down, I consume that as I might coffee or food. Dinner was eaten, and enjoyed. Coffee has gone down. I did reset the soak for the dishes. I am washing those three times. Some of the dishes... yeah... Trust me. I had set out a bowl of... something... It had been in the refrigerator for a long time. I meant to wash it a while ago. It ended up being pushed behind something, and... became a whole three or four magnitudes more intense of an experiment than what it had been in the refrigerator. Gah! Gross! I think it barked a tiny bark and slithered a bit as I was emptying that bowl. Wash, wash, wash!
However, beyond that, I am not sure anything else will happen today... tonight. Literal, figurative, tomato, tamatto. Rough, just not boldly rough. Back to a minor form of that sense of having ridden a roller coaster a few too many times. Bleh. Not to the level it was, just a minor fall back into that. Two steps forward, one back. No worries. I will still try to get some small things done, finish the dishes, and laundry, and take it as easy as need be. I really do have to negotiate with my body. As with a wife, a job, a family, and all else, there are dues, requirements, and limits. Knowing these will see much more safely done. Although, sometimes, you just have to push it. Thankfully or not, life simply can't be codified. So we do the best we can, flying by the seat of our pants, or as today... on the seat of my pants. Bleh.
I am truly enjoying one of the robes I bought the other day. If I get too chilly, I wrap up in it. When heat becomes a problem, off it goes. It's a furnace I don't have to get up to fix, or even more than slightly consciously register. Plus, the girls can sit in my lap, and claw, without worry. Heck, they love it too! I just regret all that time I messed around, trying to find the "best" one. Yeah, I know, I simply didn't like the price, but didn't want to risk inexpensive, or cheap, without being able to actually touch, try it on, and see it. Merchants are terrible about honestly evaluating or hawking. Sell, sell, sell. Even reviews are terrible. Who knows how stupid or corrupt the reviewer is. One of the best $20 I have spent. Even if they last a few years, it's enough. And they will. Perhaps many.
Hmm... I need to find a way to wake, or maybe nap. It's early, as my day goes, but it's an ugly day. I'll... be thinking it over, unless I just crash for a bit longer. Later.
I did something, I suppose.
.
.
The last of the dishes, just a few, are being washed. Trash was collected, mostly, and put out. The cat litter was reset. It is much simpler to change it if you keep on top of it, and I have been. A complete change was required, but it wasn't terribly out of shape... just a bit tired. Laundry hasn't happened, but it will when I wake.
I am hoping to hit a half dozen little things today, plus laundry. Laundry, dishes, sweeping and mopping, are big jobs. Little things are more like clearing the hallway. Clearing more of the table... it was partially cleared recently, and has pretty much remained as it was. Perhaps even honing one of my straight razors. If that project is more than just one task. You have to soak the wet stones for an half hour or so. And it will take several stones to get that right edge. I'm pretty sure I'll know it when I get it. And, after that is done, I need to strop it, then perhaps hone it further with the cloth side part of the strop and some 30k grit goop, then finish strop it. Bleh, that sounds like it would be the rest of my little stuff. I might try to get a few other things done, but I'll just have to see how it goes.
For now, I think I am going to make a quarter dose of rice, steam the remaining hamburger as I do so, then crawl into bed. I'm not worn, or tired, simply ready for bed, or will be shortly enough. Oh, I believe I will take another shower after I wake. When I can, I indulge. Later this evening I will call my friend and arrange something for... Monday is it? for Wednesday. Anything he wants or needs, a meal on me, and... oh... I did some research on a product he wanted. He gave me his top dollar, and I worked from there. He was going to look as well, so... I'll exchange notes on that, too.
A bath would be even better, but that... well... like stropping, it's a hassle. If I ever get a wife, I'll take turns setting the bath. If she sets it for me, and I for her, the bather just gets to enjoy. It's a thought. Hey, if you don't work, but have some intent, enjoy being useful, make yourself useful elsewise, innit? Hey, look, it might be groovy to shower or bathe together from time to time. But, first, the bath would have to be bigger. And, really? Quite often it's nice to do so alone. A little private, and quiet time. I keep telling you, even in my wild heyday, it wasn't all about "that". That just isn't... the crux of the matter. Setting a bath for someone else is more what it's about. The rest just... takes care of itself, mostly.
Good... day, and night.
.
The last of the dishes, just a few, are being washed. Trash was collected, mostly, and put out. The cat litter was reset. It is much simpler to change it if you keep on top of it, and I have been. A complete change was required, but it wasn't terribly out of shape... just a bit tired. Laundry hasn't happened, but it will when I wake.
I am hoping to hit a half dozen little things today, plus laundry. Laundry, dishes, sweeping and mopping, are big jobs. Little things are more like clearing the hallway. Clearing more of the table... it was partially cleared recently, and has pretty much remained as it was. Perhaps even honing one of my straight razors. If that project is more than just one task. You have to soak the wet stones for an half hour or so. And it will take several stones to get that right edge. I'm pretty sure I'll know it when I get it. And, after that is done, I need to strop it, then perhaps hone it further with the cloth side part of the strop and some 30k grit goop, then finish strop it. Bleh, that sounds like it would be the rest of my little stuff. I might try to get a few other things done, but I'll just have to see how it goes.
For now, I think I am going to make a quarter dose of rice, steam the remaining hamburger as I do so, then crawl into bed. I'm not worn, or tired, simply ready for bed, or will be shortly enough. Oh, I believe I will take another shower after I wake. When I can, I indulge. Later this evening I will call my friend and arrange something for... Monday is it? for Wednesday. Anything he wants or needs, a meal on me, and... oh... I did some research on a product he wanted. He gave me his top dollar, and I worked from there. He was going to look as well, so... I'll exchange notes on that, too.
A bath would be even better, but that... well... like stropping, it's a hassle. If I ever get a wife, I'll take turns setting the bath. If she sets it for me, and I for her, the bather just gets to enjoy. It's a thought. Hey, if you don't work, but have some intent, enjoy being useful, make yourself useful elsewise, innit? Hey, look, it might be groovy to shower or bathe together from time to time. But, first, the bath would have to be bigger. And, really? Quite often it's nice to do so alone. A little private, and quiet time. I keep telling you, even in my wild heyday, it wasn't all about "that". That just isn't... the crux of the matter. Setting a bath for someone else is more what it's about. The rest just... takes care of itself, mostly.
Good... day, and night.
Out, back, out, and...
.
.
I was in town, out, and about to go in when I went for my wallet. Ah, right. Back, and out again. It has to happen from time to time. A bit of shopping and an extra meal for the day. Nice. I mean, downright good. Which reminds me, after recovering from my little bits of work, I ought to make a pot of coffee. Heavy cream, milk, I just can't do it black. Not often. Sometimes it's perfect, like tea in the raw. A fluke of tastes. Oh, trust me, I wish I could do that. It isn't so much the savings as the convenience of not being hooked on the store.
A cow would be great, when she is wet. But that would be huge work, and not fulltime milk even so, and too much milk. Plus, you don't just hit one teat for milk, one for cream, and one for butter! Darned inconvenient. And that is a lot of work. Even with machines, you have to keep that stainless absolutely clean. Cleaner than what you eat upon. And, actually, I am not sure, even with the volume a cow kicks out, that it would be enough, with waste, to make enough cream and butter, plus have regular milk left over? Dunno, but I suspect maybe not. Hmm... for one? Yeah, I'll retract that. Even a small cow produces several gallons a day, I believe, in season. Dairies must do things to get cows to milk variably. It's calf related, so perhaps they seasonal breed various parts of the herd to sustain milk output? Anyway... that would be a lot of work for very little gain. And the expense of feed would... Yeah. For now I think I'll stick with the store.
I did get one load of trash and recycling out. I can probably get another load out, and cat litter. I've kept the litter very well, but it's about time. I'll look it over, but it might all need to go. With this type, if the blue is faded and white is yellow in a third of the mix, I call it dead. But this stuff does last amazingly well, if I abuse that just a bit. Still, keep it cleaned out and stirred, and you would be surprised. There are three things I can do to get extra loving for a few days from the girls. Cleaning the litter, showering, and an extra wet feed. Then I become a sharp dressed tom. For a few days, then back to being an ogre. With two of those three at once, I may need a bat to keep them away. :) Wanting in my lap, sleeping on the back of my chair while constantly sniffing my hair, throwing batties at me. *blink blink* Seriously, dames are dames, I don't care the species.
Hmm... Laundry cycle, the remnants of trash, perhaps a very few dishes that have been used... Then, perhaps, hitting the hallway. If I am up in the light, maybe dealing with the patio furniture. If that gets done, then clearing the back hall, sweeping the hall and bathroom, then mopping those two areas. I'll figure anything out after that.
Oh, while shopping, I saw bathrobes. The tag indicated "one size fits all". While not a perfect test for that, I'm not a bad test. Enough in the chest, if only to right above my knees, and that only because they are made for really fat guys, so it hangs a bit off. I've been looking for those for years. I was looking at specific types, but those start at $60 and go to $300 or more. I could neither make up my mind, or justify. These are flannel and $19 per. Two, so I can wash one and not be without. Dark colors to match any food spills! :) Short is fine, last year I bought a number of open leg sweat pants that work well. Just one more nag off my list, and something warmer than just a t-shirt for this winter. Who doesn't want custom luxury? But, yeah, these work just fine, better actually. I won't freak out about a tear, or spill, or such.
Later.
.
I was in town, out, and about to go in when I went for my wallet. Ah, right. Back, and out again. It has to happen from time to time. A bit of shopping and an extra meal for the day. Nice. I mean, downright good. Which reminds me, after recovering from my little bits of work, I ought to make a pot of coffee. Heavy cream, milk, I just can't do it black. Not often. Sometimes it's perfect, like tea in the raw. A fluke of tastes. Oh, trust me, I wish I could do that. It isn't so much the savings as the convenience of not being hooked on the store.
A cow would be great, when she is wet. But that would be huge work, and not fulltime milk even so, and too much milk. Plus, you don't just hit one teat for milk, one for cream, and one for butter! Darned inconvenient. And that is a lot of work. Even with machines, you have to keep that stainless absolutely clean. Cleaner than what you eat upon. And, actually, I am not sure, even with the volume a cow kicks out, that it would be enough, with waste, to make enough cream and butter, plus have regular milk left over? Dunno, but I suspect maybe not. Hmm... for one? Yeah, I'll retract that. Even a small cow produces several gallons a day, I believe, in season. Dairies must do things to get cows to milk variably. It's calf related, so perhaps they seasonal breed various parts of the herd to sustain milk output? Anyway... that would be a lot of work for very little gain. And the expense of feed would... Yeah. For now I think I'll stick with the store.
I did get one load of trash and recycling out. I can probably get another load out, and cat litter. I've kept the litter very well, but it's about time. I'll look it over, but it might all need to go. With this type, if the blue is faded and white is yellow in a third of the mix, I call it dead. But this stuff does last amazingly well, if I abuse that just a bit. Still, keep it cleaned out and stirred, and you would be surprised. There are three things I can do to get extra loving for a few days from the girls. Cleaning the litter, showering, and an extra wet feed. Then I become a sharp dressed tom. For a few days, then back to being an ogre. With two of those three at once, I may need a bat to keep them away. :) Wanting in my lap, sleeping on the back of my chair while constantly sniffing my hair, throwing batties at me. *blink blink* Seriously, dames are dames, I don't care the species.
Hmm... Laundry cycle, the remnants of trash, perhaps a very few dishes that have been used... Then, perhaps, hitting the hallway. If I am up in the light, maybe dealing with the patio furniture. If that gets done, then clearing the back hall, sweeping the hall and bathroom, then mopping those two areas. I'll figure anything out after that.
Oh, while shopping, I saw bathrobes. The tag indicated "one size fits all". While not a perfect test for that, I'm not a bad test. Enough in the chest, if only to right above my knees, and that only because they are made for really fat guys, so it hangs a bit off. I've been looking for those for years. I was looking at specific types, but those start at $60 and go to $300 or more. I could neither make up my mind, or justify. These are flannel and $19 per. Two, so I can wash one and not be without. Dark colors to match any food spills! :) Short is fine, last year I bought a number of open leg sweat pants that work well. Just one more nag off my list, and something warmer than just a t-shirt for this winter. Who doesn't want custom luxury? But, yeah, these work just fine, better actually. I won't freak out about a tear, or spill, or such.
Later.
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Looking a bit rough.
.
.
I took a shower first thing. Even so, I look rather tough, like too many days in the sun. I hope I didn't spook my visitor tonight. I do this, from time to time, and have since I was a baby. As I said, when my mother brought me home, for a month and maybe more people told her, to her face, that they should return me. My skin was scaly. She said it took a couple of months of tlc to bring me around. Some people even thought she had traded me in. Just a little tlc and... I'll work on that myself, now that I am usually able. Oh, and a redness to my face. Part of the reason I use the avatar that I use. This is what happens when I travel alone for too long.
I did complete the dishes yesterday, but need to finish the laundry yet. Then to move some things upstairs, sweep, and maybe make a run to town for shopping. If I get this done, a day of lighter smaller detail work, then a run for town sometime in the next few days. With shopping out of the way, I should be able to get my friend to wherever he wants to go and out for a meal. It would be good for both of us. Hopefully, a little extra care and I won't look quite so... different.
Dinner was pretty good. Garden corn and potatoes, a pork cutlet, and apple peach sauce. I realized something about apple sauce and pork tonight. Apple sauce used to be the perfect complement to pork. Back when pork was very rich, and a chop smelled like lard, apple sauce cut it alone. Now that pork has been trimmed and tamed, thinned and raised as it is, it no longer has that odor or richness. When I heard the sauce was to be peach and apple, blended, it hit. That, I thought, was the key. After dining, I am now sure, and will change my mix from now on. Oh, it doesn't have to be peach (although that is probably the best). Any sweeter fruit, added to the apple, will do. Cherries, strawberries, mango, and others will do quite nicely. No, it isn't a modernism, or revision, it is a change as food changes. Pairings exist for a reason, such as apple sauce and pork to begin with. But when one changes, the other needs to change. It just doesn't always seem apparent, even when something seems off. Seeing, realizing, doesn't always call to mind a fix, or even a need for change, in spite of the nose on our face, sometimes... often.
Well... Actually, I am out of cream and milk. I best make the run right now. My store is still open, otherwise I have to pay the really high Walmart milk and cream prices. Odd how that works. Then again, even Amazon isn't offering the best prices these days. Hmm, Sunday? Nope, my store is closed. But one of the other regular grocers might be open. If they carry my brands. Bleh. Later.
.
I took a shower first thing. Even so, I look rather tough, like too many days in the sun. I hope I didn't spook my visitor tonight. I do this, from time to time, and have since I was a baby. As I said, when my mother brought me home, for a month and maybe more people told her, to her face, that they should return me. My skin was scaly. She said it took a couple of months of tlc to bring me around. Some people even thought she had traded me in. Just a little tlc and... I'll work on that myself, now that I am usually able. Oh, and a redness to my face. Part of the reason I use the avatar that I use. This is what happens when I travel alone for too long.
I did complete the dishes yesterday, but need to finish the laundry yet. Then to move some things upstairs, sweep, and maybe make a run to town for shopping. If I get this done, a day of lighter smaller detail work, then a run for town sometime in the next few days. With shopping out of the way, I should be able to get my friend to wherever he wants to go and out for a meal. It would be good for both of us. Hopefully, a little extra care and I won't look quite so... different.
Dinner was pretty good. Garden corn and potatoes, a pork cutlet, and apple peach sauce. I realized something about apple sauce and pork tonight. Apple sauce used to be the perfect complement to pork. Back when pork was very rich, and a chop smelled like lard, apple sauce cut it alone. Now that pork has been trimmed and tamed, thinned and raised as it is, it no longer has that odor or richness. When I heard the sauce was to be peach and apple, blended, it hit. That, I thought, was the key. After dining, I am now sure, and will change my mix from now on. Oh, it doesn't have to be peach (although that is probably the best). Any sweeter fruit, added to the apple, will do. Cherries, strawberries, mango, and others will do quite nicely. No, it isn't a modernism, or revision, it is a change as food changes. Pairings exist for a reason, such as apple sauce and pork to begin with. But when one changes, the other needs to change. It just doesn't always seem apparent, even when something seems off. Seeing, realizing, doesn't always call to mind a fix, or even a need for change, in spite of the nose on our face, sometimes... often.
Well... Actually, I am out of cream and milk. I best make the run right now. My store is still open, otherwise I have to pay the really high Walmart milk and cream prices. Odd how that works. Then again, even Amazon isn't offering the best prices these days. Hmm, Sunday? Nope, my store is closed. But one of the other regular grocers might be open. If they carry my brands. Bleh. Later.
Well...
.
.
Dinner was pretty good. I wasn't sure how that would work. I have had all of it, just not in that way. I have heard of steamed hamburgers, an Eastern thing give or take, from the food lore I know (Eastern US). Dandy. It does soften the meat, in a way. Went well with the rice and brussels sprouts. While I was preparing that, I checked the dishes. The water was pretty gnarly, so I drained that and started a fresh hot soapy soak. I figure, in about another hour, I will give those a first wash. Why not let soap and hot water do most of the work?If I can get to that, I may actually just put a load of laundry through before I begin with the dishes. Nothing fancy. Just a start.
Well... back to digesting. I might have the remaining rice and the few nuggets of green stuff later. Warmed with salt an butter. Hmm... But there remains a thawed hamburger... Yeah, I like meat, when I can get it. Motivation to figure out cooking that. Later.
.
Dinner was pretty good. I wasn't sure how that would work. I have had all of it, just not in that way. I have heard of steamed hamburgers, an Eastern thing give or take, from the food lore I know (Eastern US). Dandy. It does soften the meat, in a way. Went well with the rice and brussels sprouts. While I was preparing that, I checked the dishes. The water was pretty gnarly, so I drained that and started a fresh hot soapy soak. I figure, in about another hour, I will give those a first wash. Why not let soap and hot water do most of the work?If I can get to that, I may actually just put a load of laundry through before I begin with the dishes. Nothing fancy. Just a start.
I often seem frozen, it's not as it might seem.
Saturday, November 8, 2014
Hmm? Yes. Of course.
.
.
Maybe.
I woke at 21:00 and small change. I think. After 21:00, for sure, and before 22:00. Probably. Being 22:30, and having the sense I have been awake for a while, I think that's safe. Hey, when my days and nights tumble, and I wake up a different time, and go to bed at a different time, every day and night, it's just not easy to track. It really is like a trip in a front loading washer or something. Wee! Bleh!
Still, first thing, I drained the old wash water, setting the dishes to a fresh soak. I started a pot of coffee, but also set up the rice cooker. I fished out and washed the rice pan that goes into it, first. The lid and rice paddle were cleaned yesterday. After coffee finishes, and as I set up my first dose of that, I will start the rice. I will be steaming a hamburger patty or two on top of it, perhaps adding brussels sprouts into the rice. Not fancy, but it will do nicely, I think. Soft food, but it's been a while since I have eaten. Best to start out slowly, if I don't always do that. Yank the rip cord, lad! :) Doesn't seem to matter, at least for me. Even a couple of weeks, in the old days, of no food, and I might make a beef roast, potatoes, carrots, and such, and down half a chuck roast in a single meal. Or a couple pounds of spaghetti with meat sauce. I am lowering portions, these days. Then again, I only go half a week without food, at the very worst, these days.
I am thinking that today might be the day. Dishes, laundry, clearing the hallway, then maybe some sweeping, and mopping at least in the bathroom. If I can do anything else, it will be to get the chairs and tables that I am hoping to put up in the garage up. First I have to figure out where, and how. But... I will think more on that as I get to it. If I can get that done, my next goal will be to get into town, do some grocery shopping, and take my friend for a drive and a meal if I can get to town at the right times for that.
If, after all that, I need a day or two off, so be it. But then I want to begin hitting the home and garage with more dirty deeds. Cleaning, sorting, storing, org... maybe not organizing. It truly is my Achilles' heel. But, if I do other things, and that happens to be a part of it, I might be able to squeak some of that in. I just can't do it with direct intentions. Yeah... Man genes. Women don't believe it, but it's true. Sure, women have to work at it, but many of them have the capacity. Most man type critters simply don't. Our confusion in this matter is actually what drives a woman to go organizationally crazy, or the reverse. It depends on some various factors to each, and some external factors. At least from what I have seen.
Well... Coffee! Food shortly after that! And after food is digested enough to function, dishes, a shower, and laundry. Sleep well. *grins* Later.
.
Maybe.
I woke at 21:00 and small change. I think. After 21:00, for sure, and before 22:00. Probably. Being 22:30, and having the sense I have been awake for a while, I think that's safe. Hey, when my days and nights tumble, and I wake up a different time, and go to bed at a different time, every day and night, it's just not easy to track. It really is like a trip in a front loading washer or something. Wee! Bleh!
Still, first thing, I drained the old wash water, setting the dishes to a fresh soak. I started a pot of coffee, but also set up the rice cooker. I fished out and washed the rice pan that goes into it, first. The lid and rice paddle were cleaned yesterday. After coffee finishes, and as I set up my first dose of that, I will start the rice. I will be steaming a hamburger patty or two on top of it, perhaps adding brussels sprouts into the rice. Not fancy, but it will do nicely, I think. Soft food, but it's been a while since I have eaten. Best to start out slowly, if I don't always do that. Yank the rip cord, lad! :) Doesn't seem to matter, at least for me. Even a couple of weeks, in the old days, of no food, and I might make a beef roast, potatoes, carrots, and such, and down half a chuck roast in a single meal. Or a couple pounds of spaghetti with meat sauce. I am lowering portions, these days. Then again, I only go half a week without food, at the very worst, these days.
I am thinking that today might be the day. Dishes, laundry, clearing the hallway, then maybe some sweeping, and mopping at least in the bathroom. If I can do anything else, it will be to get the chairs and tables that I am hoping to put up in the garage up. First I have to figure out where, and how. But... I will think more on that as I get to it. If I can get that done, my next goal will be to get into town, do some grocery shopping, and take my friend for a drive and a meal if I can get to town at the right times for that.
If, after all that, I need a day or two off, so be it. But then I want to begin hitting the home and garage with more dirty deeds. Cleaning, sorting, storing, org... maybe not organizing. It truly is my Achilles' heel. But, if I do other things, and that happens to be a part of it, I might be able to squeak some of that in. I just can't do it with direct intentions. Yeah... Man genes. Women don't believe it, but it's true. Sure, women have to work at it, but many of them have the capacity. Most man type critters simply don't. Our confusion in this matter is actually what drives a woman to go organizationally crazy, or the reverse. It depends on some various factors to each, and some external factors. At least from what I have seen.
Well... Coffee! Food shortly after that! And after food is digested enough to function, dishes, a shower, and laundry. Sleep well. *grins* Later.
A dame blogger offered thoughts.
.
.
Slowly going down. Nothing done beyond that first load of dishes and a call. Still, that's more than I have been able to do in a week? Weeks? A month? Don't ask me.
.
Slowly going down. Nothing done beyond that first load of dishes and a call. Still, that's more than I have been able to do in a week? Weeks? A month? Don't ask me.
It's nearly impossible.
.
.
I did get the dishes washed, rinsed, dried, and mostly put away. I set another load to soak. That's it. I am hoping in a bit, to finish those dishes, make rice and hamburger as I ought to eat. It's been a while, I think, since I last ate. A day, several, since Tuesday? Not sure but I think Tuesday was my last meal. While I am not hungry, I think I ought to put something in there. Doing more? I don't think so. I'm not sure about doing that. Oh, but I will call my mother. She's getting a bit grumpy about me not answering. I'm just not awake when she calls, and I have been eclipsing her sleep cycle with my wake cycle. Calling her at midnight will end with the same results she is running into calling me.
I'll keep pushing. Food, dishes, and maybe a shower if I can get the dishes done, at least a preliminary washing. Yeah, picky.
I keep reading the pundits. And I laugh. Wendy Davis was the most recent article. It seems the news cycle has crashed, so there isn't much else to read but the stupid little bits, like the news crumbs after a feast. Why laugh? Well, the pundit suggest that W.D. (M. in there?), lost because Texans simply weren't as progressive as people had thought. That the money poured into the state had no effect. That this, that that, that something else. Wrong. At the last minute, the law requiring proof of identity and citizenship, or such, was allowed for the election. That is the whole sum of what happened to W(M)D's campaign. It's funny watching them trip over themselves trying to twist the why and why nots into some kind of sense when the meat is sitting right in front of them. Complain that you only have vegetables on your plate, ignore the two pound ribeye if you wish, but don't expect me to bite. I think pundits are afraid the truth will get out. They aren't on our side either.
Hmm... another pot of coffee, too. Best call my mother first.
Have a good day. I'll rest for you.
.
I did get the dishes washed, rinsed, dried, and mostly put away. I set another load to soak. That's it. I am hoping in a bit, to finish those dishes, make rice and hamburger as I ought to eat. It's been a while, I think, since I last ate. A day, several, since Tuesday? Not sure but I think Tuesday was my last meal. While I am not hungry, I think I ought to put something in there. Doing more? I don't think so. I'm not sure about doing that. Oh, but I will call my mother. She's getting a bit grumpy about me not answering. I'm just not awake when she calls, and I have been eclipsing her sleep cycle with my wake cycle. Calling her at midnight will end with the same results she is running into calling me.
I'll keep pushing. Food, dishes, and maybe a shower if I can get the dishes done, at least a preliminary washing. Yeah, picky.
I keep reading the pundits. And I laugh. Wendy Davis was the most recent article. It seems the news cycle has crashed, so there isn't much else to read but the stupid little bits, like the news crumbs after a feast. Why laugh? Well, the pundit suggest that W.D. (M. in there?), lost because Texans simply weren't as progressive as people had thought. That the money poured into the state had no effect. That this, that that, that something else. Wrong. At the last minute, the law requiring proof of identity and citizenship, or such, was allowed for the election. That is the whole sum of what happened to W(M)D's campaign. It's funny watching them trip over themselves trying to twist the why and why nots into some kind of sense when the meat is sitting right in front of them. Complain that you only have vegetables on your plate, ignore the two pound ribeye if you wish, but don't expect me to bite. I think pundits are afraid the truth will get out. They aren't on our side either.
Hmm... another pot of coffee, too. Best call my mother first.
Have a good day. I'll rest for you.
Waking gently.
.
.
It's not so much a plan as a hope. The machines are old in the down below. They haven't been lit often or frequently. The whole device groans under it's own weight. Perhaps it was, or will be, brought to full and to bear. For now I just need... to get the dishes done. Oh, but I did start them. And I will shortly finish them, take a shower, put a new load of dishes in, and start a load of laundry. Running before I can stand, but, hopefully, not running faster than my feet. It's always a precarious adventure.
.
It's not so much a plan as a hope. The machines are old in the down below. They haven't been lit often or frequently. The whole device groans under it's own weight. Perhaps it was, or will be, brought to full and to bear. For now I just need... to get the dishes done. Oh, but I did start them. And I will shortly finish them, take a shower, put a new load of dishes in, and start a load of laundry. Running before I can stand, but, hopefully, not running faster than my feet. It's always a precarious adventure.
Friday, November 7, 2014
Roaring into a yawn.
.
.
Awake? Well, let me finish the yawn, stretch, and maybe a nap? Okay, I'll skip the nap. I will be awake shortly. I am positive. I am still going to plug for work. But I am not awake enough to actually discuss much or work. A pot of coffee might kick things up, though that might just make me more awake. I'm not sure it will do more than wake the mind, that is.
Yeah, I'm still in spin cycle recover. I seem to be finding my psychic feet, have started being able to get the spinning to slow. I don't know if this is the calm before the next storm or an opportunity to get my feet back on the ground, and moving. Work seems so easy when I can focus, get to it, do it. I do have limits, but I have found, with a little help, I can stretch that. Over time, I can probably stretch that even more. The garage is important, for the weight bench and hobbies. Simple things, but if they aren't available, they can't be put to use. Oh, if I happen to get trapped by a wife, I will be putting a hammock out there. I might even conceal it. Bah! You can fool a woman for a while. She would eventually catch on. Yes, you can trust me on this. I've known more women, mothers, sisters, and not so sisterly sisters, than I can remember. Most of them represent, or want, work. Hard to hide from want. All I'm saying.
Hmm... might have to think about that through the next year. Hidden man bunker, or two? Air, a bit of space, darkness, and prone body support... that's all I need. With a woman type, I'd need to make that concealed. They have good eyes, but not good about spatial or mechanical, and easily put off through emotions. Yes, yes, Jedi mind tricks DO work. Different ones for men and women, mind you. If you don't want men to look, for example, put a box of feminine... monthly stuff... in front of what you are hiding. When I had a cousin staying with me and one of my gals, a cousin prone to borrowing a sip a bit beyond my budget, I did that with my hooch. Men, women, slightly different but all... susceptible. *avert eyes* :)
Still goofy minded from waking. Take no serious offense. Memories, thoughts, imaginings, all collide into a wonderful little "morning" collusion to unseat gloom. Well, some mornings. Always a good sign, in my book. So, fine... I'll plot. Back to the basics. Trash and recycling, a few dishes, and the clearing the hallway. If that gets done, sweeping. Fie. But a goal works, sometimes, when nothing else would have.
On to waking.
.
Awake? Well, let me finish the yawn, stretch, and maybe a nap? Okay, I'll skip the nap. I will be awake shortly. I am positive. I am still going to plug for work. But I am not awake enough to actually discuss much or work. A pot of coffee might kick things up, though that might just make me more awake. I'm not sure it will do more than wake the mind, that is.
Yeah, I'm still in spin cycle recover. I seem to be finding my psychic feet, have started being able to get the spinning to slow. I don't know if this is the calm before the next storm or an opportunity to get my feet back on the ground, and moving. Work seems so easy when I can focus, get to it, do it. I do have limits, but I have found, with a little help, I can stretch that. Over time, I can probably stretch that even more. The garage is important, for the weight bench and hobbies. Simple things, but if they aren't available, they can't be put to use. Oh, if I happen to get trapped by a wife, I will be putting a hammock out there. I might even conceal it. Bah! You can fool a woman for a while. She would eventually catch on. Yes, you can trust me on this. I've known more women, mothers, sisters, and not so sisterly sisters, than I can remember. Most of them represent, or want, work. Hard to hide from want. All I'm saying.
Hmm... might have to think about that through the next year. Hidden man bunker, or two? Air, a bit of space, darkness, and prone body support... that's all I need. With a woman type, I'd need to make that concealed. They have good eyes, but not good about spatial or mechanical, and easily put off through emotions. Yes, yes, Jedi mind tricks DO work. Different ones for men and women, mind you. If you don't want men to look, for example, put a box of feminine... monthly stuff... in front of what you are hiding. When I had a cousin staying with me and one of my gals, a cousin prone to borrowing a sip a bit beyond my budget, I did that with my hooch. Men, women, slightly different but all... susceptible. *avert eyes* :)
Still goofy minded from waking. Take no serious offense. Memories, thoughts, imaginings, all collide into a wonderful little "morning" collusion to unseat gloom. Well, some mornings. Always a good sign, in my book. So, fine... I'll plot. Back to the basics. Trash and recycling, a few dishes, and the clearing the hallway. If that gets done, sweeping. Fie. But a goal works, sometimes, when nothing else would have.
On to waking.
As I drift to sleep...
.
.
I keep looking at stories, about the election, in spite of swearing that off earlier. One of the things I am noting is that there was supposed to have been a slide to the Republican side, in all demographics. Really? I doubt that. And with lower numbers even going to the polls, I have even more doubts. Democrats weren't inspired? Republicans might have been, but they are a shrinking minority. If they aren't shrinking as quickly as Dems, they aren't in ascendance. Not as a party. Conservatives may be becoming a larger part of the independents, but I don't think they will have much interest in voting Republican. We'll see what Republicans do with the chance they have been given, perhaps. No, I think it was something else.
Between a much keener watch on polling houses, voter id laws, and other laws, cheating and stuffing just isn't as available. That is what happened. I hope more states require id, strip the dead and illegals out of the lists, and require more honesty. What has been happening is that conservative votes have not been being counted. Now, I don't, completely, trust Republicans either. Crony capitalism is their socialist bent, and one that needs watching. It's not as bad as that of the left, but it's there. And, they would cheat given half a chance. People will return to vote if they believe their votes are actually counted, and politicians serve their will.
Vox has a piece up, regarding the low turn out. I have discussed it before, as a personal issue I believe. Pelosi is suggesting she wants everyone to get out to vote, even Republicans and indies. If she could, she would probably mandate it. She realizes, if people don't vote, the government will lose it's legitimacy. She is more afraid of that than she is of her "enemies" winning. And she should fear it. I hope Republicans fear it. We will see in the next election, just what happens. I suppose some of it depends on if bad deals, doing nothing, or going along for the wrong ride, continue or ends.
Republicans aren't in an enviable seat. They have a big baby to deal with. Well, and their own lack of backbone. Yeah, I realize, politics isn't direct gear drive. In the end, none of that matters. Democrats, it seems, are their own worst enemy as well. Their dear leader will get them all slaughtered, it seems, if he is given half a chance. I am not sure how the tables look for the next election cycle. I don't know which party it favors. Luck? No, that is, to some degree, made. But there are some realities that are difficult to escape. New York will not go Republican, certainly not conservative. Same with Cali and some other states. I might, or might not, try to find a list of seats next cycle. Though retirements might throw some of that further up into the air.
Just... thinking, as I suggested, while I begin to drift to sleep. I keep trying to push through. I have cheated, as hard as I can. I pushed for days before that. I am, simply and truly, grounded. Not on the ground, in the clouds though. It's been a tough one. Amazing, really. Usually, with this kind of effort, and throwing gas and nitrous into the mix, I can get the tires out of the rut. I don't even think I've gotten the tires to turn. Forget about spinning. I'm good. Just... not going anywhere. For now. I'm even still good enough to keep pushing. I... just... don't... get... it! /whine
Good night. Urhm, probably morning, for you.
.
I keep looking at stories, about the election, in spite of swearing that off earlier. One of the things I am noting is that there was supposed to have been a slide to the Republican side, in all demographics. Really? I doubt that. And with lower numbers even going to the polls, I have even more doubts. Democrats weren't inspired? Republicans might have been, but they are a shrinking minority. If they aren't shrinking as quickly as Dems, they aren't in ascendance. Not as a party. Conservatives may be becoming a larger part of the independents, but I don't think they will have much interest in voting Republican. We'll see what Republicans do with the chance they have been given, perhaps. No, I think it was something else.
Between a much keener watch on polling houses, voter id laws, and other laws, cheating and stuffing just isn't as available. That is what happened. I hope more states require id, strip the dead and illegals out of the lists, and require more honesty. What has been happening is that conservative votes have not been being counted. Now, I don't, completely, trust Republicans either. Crony capitalism is their socialist bent, and one that needs watching. It's not as bad as that of the left, but it's there. And, they would cheat given half a chance. People will return to vote if they believe their votes are actually counted, and politicians serve their will.
Vox has a piece up, regarding the low turn out. I have discussed it before, as a personal issue I believe. Pelosi is suggesting she wants everyone to get out to vote, even Republicans and indies. If she could, she would probably mandate it. She realizes, if people don't vote, the government will lose it's legitimacy. She is more afraid of that than she is of her "enemies" winning. And she should fear it. I hope Republicans fear it. We will see in the next election, just what happens. I suppose some of it depends on if bad deals, doing nothing, or going along for the wrong ride, continue or ends.
Republicans aren't in an enviable seat. They have a big baby to deal with. Well, and their own lack of backbone. Yeah, I realize, politics isn't direct gear drive. In the end, none of that matters. Democrats, it seems, are their own worst enemy as well. Their dear leader will get them all slaughtered, it seems, if he is given half a chance. I am not sure how the tables look for the next election cycle. I don't know which party it favors. Luck? No, that is, to some degree, made. But there are some realities that are difficult to escape. New York will not go Republican, certainly not conservative. Same with Cali and some other states. I might, or might not, try to find a list of seats next cycle. Though retirements might throw some of that further up into the air.
Just... thinking, as I suggested, while I begin to drift to sleep. I keep trying to push through. I have cheated, as hard as I can. I pushed for days before that. I am, simply and truly, grounded. Not on the ground, in the clouds though. It's been a tough one. Amazing, really. Usually, with this kind of effort, and throwing gas and nitrous into the mix, I can get the tires out of the rut. I don't even think I've gotten the tires to turn. Forget about spinning. I'm good. Just... not going anywhere. For now. I'm even still good enough to keep pushing. I... just... don't... get... it! /whine
Good night. Urhm, probably morning, for you.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
How do I feel?
.
.
You tell me. I feel as if I am perpetually holding on. Disoriented and a bit confused. I was created, trained perhaps, to operate with these sensations. And, with the givens, I still do. I have no difficulty standing, and quickly, walking, or such. Even with the feeling that I am perpetually recovering from what is in the video. Not bad, on the one hand. Not good, on the other. I shouldn't feel that way, not without external reasons. Has it been the last few days, week, two weeks? I simply don't know. While I am doing some things, I am not able to hang on to all things. November, is it? Yeah... Okay.
.
You tell me. I feel as if I am perpetually holding on. Disoriented and a bit confused. I was created, trained perhaps, to operate with these sensations. And, with the givens, I still do. I have no difficulty standing, and quickly, walking, or such. Even with the feeling that I am perpetually recovering from what is in the video. Not bad, on the one hand. Not good, on the other. I shouldn't feel that way, not without external reasons. Has it been the last few days, week, two weeks? I simply don't know. While I am doing some things, I am not able to hang on to all things. November, is it? Yeah... Okay.
Not doing well.
.
.
Nothing to do with the election. Pleased with it, as far as that goes. But it's not a concern on the micro level, where I live, at this point. I'm not busting my chops up or down about anything. I am having problems just living. No, not that I am having health issues, just... Weather? Season? I've dropped again.
My mother has been calling. She is probably worried sick. My friend has been calling. This, that, and the other thing have been planned, and might be on the books or about to be. Technically. Sleep has simply become a thing I get when I can. Waking time is the same.
I have been pushing to do something, anything, for the last two days. Pushing hard. No soft thoughts, like I ought to get to things. Hard, heavy, severe, shoving. Nothing going. I even tried a couple of old school cheats. Nothing. Meds are going down, usually. I seem to miss nights fairly often. That doesn't seem to matter. I've compared perfect compliance with imperfect, and can't see a difference. Stuck, like a bug on a windshield at 80. I'm not sure if I want the vehicle to slow though. Not sure if I have legs or wings. :)
I'll keep pushing. Unless, or until, I get too exhausted for even that. Hmm... I may take a shower. Perhaps see what I might cook. Meh, not hungry. A shower, air dry time, and maybe I can kick something over. The trash and recycling collected and out, cat litter? Yeah. That might be it, if I can get to it. It would be something though.
Oh, as to Republicans. A little wishlist. Undo zerocare, start the XL pipeline, lower corporate taxes (we pay that, mind you, not "rich companies"... I don't know about you, but I don't feel rich enough to pay a company to additionally pay the government, after paying taxes on every service and item I already buy or use from said company, on top of any other taxes... you get the point, all that on top of the rate sending money and jobs overseas), end illegal immigration, and restrict insane bureaucracy and departments. Oh, and, cut the deficit, reinforce all of the bill of rights, and uphold the constitution. Well, Christmas is right around the corner.
Later? Good night? Dunno.
.
Nothing to do with the election. Pleased with it, as far as that goes. But it's not a concern on the micro level, where I live, at this point. I'm not busting my chops up or down about anything. I am having problems just living. No, not that I am having health issues, just... Weather? Season? I've dropped again.
My mother has been calling. She is probably worried sick. My friend has been calling. This, that, and the other thing have been planned, and might be on the books or about to be. Technically. Sleep has simply become a thing I get when I can. Waking time is the same.
I have been pushing to do something, anything, for the last two days. Pushing hard. No soft thoughts, like I ought to get to things. Hard, heavy, severe, shoving. Nothing going. I even tried a couple of old school cheats. Nothing. Meds are going down, usually. I seem to miss nights fairly often. That doesn't seem to matter. I've compared perfect compliance with imperfect, and can't see a difference. Stuck, like a bug on a windshield at 80. I'm not sure if I want the vehicle to slow though. Not sure if I have legs or wings. :)
I'll keep pushing. Unless, or until, I get too exhausted for even that. Hmm... I may take a shower. Perhaps see what I might cook. Meh, not hungry. A shower, air dry time, and maybe I can kick something over. The trash and recycling collected and out, cat litter? Yeah. That might be it, if I can get to it. It would be something though.
Oh, as to Republicans. A little wishlist. Undo zerocare, start the XL pipeline, lower corporate taxes (we pay that, mind you, not "rich companies"... I don't know about you, but I don't feel rich enough to pay a company to additionally pay the government, after paying taxes on every service and item I already buy or use from said company, on top of any other taxes... you get the point, all that on top of the rate sending money and jobs overseas), end illegal immigration, and restrict insane bureaucracy and departments. Oh, and, cut the deficit, reinforce all of the bill of rights, and uphold the constitution. Well, Christmas is right around the corner.
Later? Good night? Dunno.
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Republicans.
.
.
Just some thoughts. You did not win. You ran against zerocare. Democrats lost. You have learned, at least in elections, that your ideas are bankrupt or you would have touted them. Listen and learn. You are servants, not masters. You have been elected to do, basically, one set of things. Undo what has been done and end how things have been being done. You have no other mandate. You have no other reason for being in office. If you fail... People will only continue to vote if they think it means a damn. If they stop voting, then government will be undone, one way or the other. Choose.
.
Just some thoughts. You did not win. You ran against zerocare. Democrats lost. You have learned, at least in elections, that your ideas are bankrupt or you would have touted them. Listen and learn. You are servants, not masters. You have been elected to do, basically, one set of things. Undo what has been done and end how things have been being done. You have no other mandate. You have no other reason for being in office. If you fail... People will only continue to vote if they think it means a damn. If they stop voting, then government will be undone, one way or the other. Choose.
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Getting dark already?
.
.
Not really, but close enough. The sun is definitely setting earlier and earlier. Not only a cooler sun, but less of it. I'll keep pushing to get beyond that. Sun lamps don't really work. Some years, lately, I have pushed through. Last year was a monster hard year, if there was more than just the weather going on. This year? I hope it will be better, after a less than successful summer. No complaints. Being that most of those similarly ill can't even contemplate more, and many have lost altogether. Hmm... I take that back. Complaining can be a good thing. It might mean you still have enough sense to try for better? I suppose it is how you use it, and do it?
As I begin planning for a few things, I have begun looking at what a wood shop really needs. I don't have the space for a full wood/mechanical/exercise shop. I have the back third of a wide and a half, extra long, garage. Even with folding, break-down, and other techniques and special tools, I am very limited. Still, the goal is to create a tool/machine shop that will see me to many smaller tasks. Compromise, due to financial limits, is beyond a doubt in any case. Further complicating matters are the number of opinions on what is really needed for a multi-use shop. Farmers, often, to be honest, are some of the best men to speak with. They do, and make do. The problem with their notions is that they often have what they have, and use it, without really knowing even if it is "the right" machine or tool, always. But, they do get done, often, what moderns didn't know could be done. When money is tight, they have no choice. When something breaks in some seasons, there might not be time to call someone in. Make do. Good for ideas, not always in a repeatable manner for someone who doesn't have immediate need.
I found a video that lays out woodworking very well. What a shop needs, and a good range of options and notions about best fit. It doesn't get down to the nitty-gritty on specific machines. It does a very good job of generalities on those, but rather more specific regarding hand tools. I think it is probably the best piece of shop setup advice, for a wood shop, I have seen. I have been reading for years, now. That doesn't make me an expert, it just means I'm not blind. There are too many who are a bit too... precise. Demanding .001 inch clearances, machines or tools that are beyond all but the wealthiest, and such. Here, again, a farmer type can often set you straight. Though a man who has worked with his hands for much of his life, in various fields, can also be of service. Avoid theorists and snobs. Oh, right, here you go. The first half is about hand tools, though the whole thing is worth a watch, imho.
.
Not really, but close enough. The sun is definitely setting earlier and earlier. Not only a cooler sun, but less of it. I'll keep pushing to get beyond that. Sun lamps don't really work. Some years, lately, I have pushed through. Last year was a monster hard year, if there was more than just the weather going on. This year? I hope it will be better, after a less than successful summer. No complaints. Being that most of those similarly ill can't even contemplate more, and many have lost altogether. Hmm... I take that back. Complaining can be a good thing. It might mean you still have enough sense to try for better? I suppose it is how you use it, and do it?
As I begin planning for a few things, I have begun looking at what a wood shop really needs. I don't have the space for a full wood/mechanical/exercise shop. I have the back third of a wide and a half, extra long, garage. Even with folding, break-down, and other techniques and special tools, I am very limited. Still, the goal is to create a tool/machine shop that will see me to many smaller tasks. Compromise, due to financial limits, is beyond a doubt in any case. Further complicating matters are the number of opinions on what is really needed for a multi-use shop. Farmers, often, to be honest, are some of the best men to speak with. They do, and make do. The problem with their notions is that they often have what they have, and use it, without really knowing even if it is "the right" machine or tool, always. But, they do get done, often, what moderns didn't know could be done. When money is tight, they have no choice. When something breaks in some seasons, there might not be time to call someone in. Make do. Good for ideas, not always in a repeatable manner for someone who doesn't have immediate need.
I found a video that lays out woodworking very well. What a shop needs, and a good range of options and notions about best fit. It doesn't get down to the nitty-gritty on specific machines. It does a very good job of generalities on those, but rather more specific regarding hand tools. I think it is probably the best piece of shop setup advice, for a wood shop, I have seen. I have been reading for years, now. That doesn't make me an expert, it just means I'm not blind. There are too many who are a bit too... precise. Demanding .001 inch clearances, machines or tools that are beyond all but the wealthiest, and such. Here, again, a farmer type can often set you straight. Though a man who has worked with his hands for much of his life, in various fields, can also be of service. Avoid theorists and snobs. Oh, right, here you go. The first half is about hand tools, though the whole thing is worth a watch, imho.
Tough to keep a day cycle.
.
.
I will keep at it. Most likely, the day cycle will slip from my grasp. I couldn't go down until 3:00 and change. I did set the alarm for 10:00, but yeah... no. Noon, and that wasn't easy. I don't have what is necessary to push out of bed early. I woke, but late, and barely. If you are in the military for more than a year, you learned. You wake when you are woken. You don't always get eight hours, you don't always get six hours, you don't always get three hours, and you might run a 48 hour run awake, working, and hard, then have a week of lousy sleep before you can ever even get a chance to get even one proper night's rest. Further, in some operations, you never really sleep. You just become slightly less conscious when an opportunity presents itself. Adrenalin, running gangbusters, won't let you drop too deeply. Well, and I suppose back then, hormone levels at their peak. Of course, for some people, that might, over time, incapacitate their normal function. Something I have considered, and still consider.
As fall is hitting, cool to cold weather has arrived, the sun is at such an angle that it isn't warming as well, just staying focused is become tough. All go through it. The older you get, the harder that hits. Turning the heat up helps just a bit. It's the heat from the sun that seems to push, at least me. The furnace, at best, merely keeps blood warm enough so that it flows slightly better. It doesn't have the umph of the sun to push the body into gear. Why not go south? Because that much hard run time just isn't my calling. Seasonal changes just seem right.
I did have a dream that startled me awake. It was too real. I was walking through my home. I was sleepy enough, in the dream, or otherwise unaware enough at first, that I didn't realize what was different. Then I realized my line of sight was off. It was as if I was two to three feet shorter. Now the dream was so realistic, natural seeming, that I really didn't realize it was a dream at this point. As I moved through my house at night, looking around, more seemed off. Yes, I can move through my home at night without lights. I can see in the dark fairly well, and I know my place. So that part wasn't strange. As I was walking through, however, I noted that my... legs... where different. Well, and I was on four of them. The musculature of a wolf is very different. How the leg bends, where it bends, and that when you move one leg, another moves as automatically as breathing. Wolves have forms of biceps and triceps, sort of, just much smaller. A wolf is merely a fast platform for teeth... and hunger. It is not strength based, as in lifting strength, but speed based. The realization of the muscular contractions, front and hind leg tethering, and a few other things, was so... different, when I realized, that I woke to a start. So real seeming. Panting was cool, and the girls knew who I was so didn't freak. It seemed to still take a bit to wake, as if going through a long tunnel. Then I found myself in bed, but a bit shaken, maybe stirred too.
I'm pretty beat up, for some reason. Not physically worn, just very tired. I may even take a nap before too long. A few hours from now, anyway. I don't want to extend my sleep cycle through the nap, or perturb my bedtime. Naps are tricky. At least I think they are. They have to be right between targeted sleep and wake times or they mess everything up. I am not sure I should nap in my present condition, truth be told. I am simply unsure if I can avoid it.
I have a lot of things I'd like to hit, I'm just not able to wake well enough. I'll keep pushing. Later.
.
I will keep at it. Most likely, the day cycle will slip from my grasp. I couldn't go down until 3:00 and change. I did set the alarm for 10:00, but yeah... no. Noon, and that wasn't easy. I don't have what is necessary to push out of bed early. I woke, but late, and barely. If you are in the military for more than a year, you learned. You wake when you are woken. You don't always get eight hours, you don't always get six hours, you don't always get three hours, and you might run a 48 hour run awake, working, and hard, then have a week of lousy sleep before you can ever even get a chance to get even one proper night's rest. Further, in some operations, you never really sleep. You just become slightly less conscious when an opportunity presents itself. Adrenalin, running gangbusters, won't let you drop too deeply. Well, and I suppose back then, hormone levels at their peak. Of course, for some people, that might, over time, incapacitate their normal function. Something I have considered, and still consider.
As fall is hitting, cool to cold weather has arrived, the sun is at such an angle that it isn't warming as well, just staying focused is become tough. All go through it. The older you get, the harder that hits. Turning the heat up helps just a bit. It's the heat from the sun that seems to push, at least me. The furnace, at best, merely keeps blood warm enough so that it flows slightly better. It doesn't have the umph of the sun to push the body into gear. Why not go south? Because that much hard run time just isn't my calling. Seasonal changes just seem right.
I did have a dream that startled me awake. It was too real. I was walking through my home. I was sleepy enough, in the dream, or otherwise unaware enough at first, that I didn't realize what was different. Then I realized my line of sight was off. It was as if I was two to three feet shorter. Now the dream was so realistic, natural seeming, that I really didn't realize it was a dream at this point. As I moved through my house at night, looking around, more seemed off. Yes, I can move through my home at night without lights. I can see in the dark fairly well, and I know my place. So that part wasn't strange. As I was walking through, however, I noted that my... legs... where different. Well, and I was on four of them. The musculature of a wolf is very different. How the leg bends, where it bends, and that when you move one leg, another moves as automatically as breathing. Wolves have forms of biceps and triceps, sort of, just much smaller. A wolf is merely a fast platform for teeth... and hunger. It is not strength based, as in lifting strength, but speed based. The realization of the muscular contractions, front and hind leg tethering, and a few other things, was so... different, when I realized, that I woke to a start. So real seeming. Panting was cool, and the girls knew who I was so didn't freak. It seemed to still take a bit to wake, as if going through a long tunnel. Then I found myself in bed, but a bit shaken, maybe stirred too.
I'm pretty beat up, for some reason. Not physically worn, just very tired. I may even take a nap before too long. A few hours from now, anyway. I don't want to extend my sleep cycle through the nap, or perturb my bedtime. Naps are tricky. At least I think they are. They have to be right between targeted sleep and wake times or they mess everything up. I am not sure I should nap in my present condition, truth be told. I am simply unsure if I can avoid it.
I have a lot of things I'd like to hit, I'm just not able to wake well enough. I'll keep pushing. Later.
Monday, November 3, 2014
Fighting for the day.
.
.
Until last night, for the last three nights, maybe four, my night had been pushing into early morning. Advancing in time. Same with the morning, of course. I was awake until 5:00 or 6:00 yesterday morning. I don't want that. Last night I was able to force a 1:00 bedtime, and tried for a 9:00 wake, but couldn't quite get out of bed until 10:00 and two snooze bar operations, if I did get out of bed before the last snooze bar sounded. Oh, but at least I feel as good as debris left in the road to be run over by a line of rigs heading out full. It wasn't just the early rise. I dreamed, all night, of other people "turning". I never saw what they turned into, I just knew it wasn't good. It was really a series of dreams. A first, then second, part, then a repeat with some variation. Someone I thought I knew would "turn". I would sort of be in danger by that. It caused me to change not once, but twice. This happened with many people. On top of that, the girls, my cats, were trying to bash their way into my bedroom all dang night! They usually don't do that. I don't know if there was something outside spooking them or what. All night, dreams and cats beating on my door. I couldn't wake enough to chase them off.
.
Until last night, for the last three nights, maybe four, my night had been pushing into early morning. Advancing in time. Same with the morning, of course. I was awake until 5:00 or 6:00 yesterday morning. I don't want that. Last night I was able to force a 1:00 bedtime, and tried for a 9:00 wake, but couldn't quite get out of bed until 10:00 and two snooze bar operations, if I did get out of bed before the last snooze bar sounded. Oh, but at least I feel as good as debris left in the road to be run over by a line of rigs heading out full. It wasn't just the early rise. I dreamed, all night, of other people "turning". I never saw what they turned into, I just knew it wasn't good. It was really a series of dreams. A first, then second, part, then a repeat with some variation. Someone I thought I knew would "turn". I would sort of be in danger by that. It caused me to change not once, but twice. This happened with many people. On top of that, the girls, my cats, were trying to bash their way into my bedroom all dang night! They usually don't do that. I don't know if there was something outside spooking them or what. All night, dreams and cats beating on my door. I couldn't wake enough to chase them off.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
I just don't know about today.
.
.
Sleep was good if bedtime was late. Waking late again, of course. It seems that day and night are flipping again. It has been getting cloudy, and cooler, or so it seems from my bunker. With Halloween finished, I suppose I can tumble a bit. A letter from the V.A. telling me I missed an appointment, two actually, and to the same clinic, if I hadn't been told, or sent a card, for one of them. A phone call, but at a time when such things didn't make sense, and I couldn't comply anyway.
I'm not sure I trust the V.A. at this point. If Zero was going to force treatment of ebola, it would be at these types of places, and behind most everybody's backs. He has executive power in these places, and the lousy command structure is so tenuously being kept in place for political reasons, that they are beholding to this corrupt admin like never before. I simply am not sure I can trust these hospitals and clinics at this point. I suppose they could come out and say they won't accept ebola patients, but then they have said people could keep their plan, their doctor, and many other things. They have knowingly lied, been complicit in the construction of the things they lied about, and meant from the beginning to lie. They continue misleading about everything they suggest at this point. At this point there is simply no trust. Not the feds, not the bureaucracy, not the DoJ, not the Supreme Court, not congress. I don't trust the state bureaucracies. I'll figure it out along the line. When I need refills, or at least after they won't do them over the phone anymore. Being as busy as they are, my efforts should be pleasing to them. Heck, if half of us, or more, stopped showing... Yeah... Then they could get back to being the political operatives they seem to believe themselves to be.
I needed a bit of rest yesterday, and today. I might tinker a bit, here and there, on this and that, in the house. It just can't be even a minor real work day. I don't have enough to put in, or even push for it. I'm not done in, though, either. Hopefully I can get to the yard and a few other odds and ends tomorrow. I did dream last night. None of it remains. The emotional ties seem to indicate just normal dreaming. Probably some mundane, to slightly off the wall, imaginative takes of simple life. Then again, isn't life, itself, just that for the most part? How many of us would believe what we have truly seen and experienced in our own lives if we hadn't actually been there, perhaps even checking with others to make sure we saw correctly? Me! Me! Oooh, pick me! :)
Well... on to some water, waking, and coffee a bit later. I honestly am not seeing any improvement with drinking water first thing. But I am not seeing any harm, either. I'll keep it up for a while, seeing if it simply takes a while to implement. Then again, if it isn't hurting, perhaps I will continue. A little more real simple water each day just can't be a bad thing. I am, not always but much more often, beginning to drink water with dinner. Ice water, I need it cold, both at waking time and meals, but not extremely cold. Rightly chilled. Just passing on notes from my experiment.
Good day.
.
Sleep was good if bedtime was late. Waking late again, of course. It seems that day and night are flipping again. It has been getting cloudy, and cooler, or so it seems from my bunker. With Halloween finished, I suppose I can tumble a bit. A letter from the V.A. telling me I missed an appointment, two actually, and to the same clinic, if I hadn't been told, or sent a card, for one of them. A phone call, but at a time when such things didn't make sense, and I couldn't comply anyway.
I'm not sure I trust the V.A. at this point. If Zero was going to force treatment of ebola, it would be at these types of places, and behind most everybody's backs. He has executive power in these places, and the lousy command structure is so tenuously being kept in place for political reasons, that they are beholding to this corrupt admin like never before. I simply am not sure I can trust these hospitals and clinics at this point. I suppose they could come out and say they won't accept ebola patients, but then they have said people could keep their plan, their doctor, and many other things. They have knowingly lied, been complicit in the construction of the things they lied about, and meant from the beginning to lie. They continue misleading about everything they suggest at this point. At this point there is simply no trust. Not the feds, not the bureaucracy, not the DoJ, not the Supreme Court, not congress. I don't trust the state bureaucracies. I'll figure it out along the line. When I need refills, or at least after they won't do them over the phone anymore. Being as busy as they are, my efforts should be pleasing to them. Heck, if half of us, or more, stopped showing... Yeah... Then they could get back to being the political operatives they seem to believe themselves to be.
I needed a bit of rest yesterday, and today. I might tinker a bit, here and there, on this and that, in the house. It just can't be even a minor real work day. I don't have enough to put in, or even push for it. I'm not done in, though, either. Hopefully I can get to the yard and a few other odds and ends tomorrow. I did dream last night. None of it remains. The emotional ties seem to indicate just normal dreaming. Probably some mundane, to slightly off the wall, imaginative takes of simple life. Then again, isn't life, itself, just that for the most part? How many of us would believe what we have truly seen and experienced in our own lives if we hadn't actually been there, perhaps even checking with others to make sure we saw correctly? Me! Me! Oooh, pick me! :)
Well... on to some water, waking, and coffee a bit later. I honestly am not seeing any improvement with drinking water first thing. But I am not seeing any harm, either. I'll keep it up for a while, seeing if it simply takes a while to implement. Then again, if it isn't hurting, perhaps I will continue. A little more real simple water each day just can't be a bad thing. I am, not always but much more often, beginning to drink water with dinner. Ice water, I need it cold, both at waking time and meals, but not extremely cold. Rightly chilled. Just passing on notes from my experiment.
Good day.
Saturday, November 1, 2014
On the other hand, liberals aren't even liberal.
.
.
Just... sharing a tiny bit more at a time. It is all some can take and I am busy.
One major point of contention. America, at least in the past, did not become great because of a love of money. It became great because it believed people should be free to create, and use, wealth. A belief that was based on a faith that God gave us laws and rights, things the state should not interfere, hinder, or attempt to end. Fundamentally, America was great because of, and through, Christian beliefs and the employment of those truths. Not a love of money. I'll give him some cover, that he was speaking about mundane economics, and not digging all the way through. For now. I have a brother who calls himself a conservative, when in truth all he believes in is money, and probably power. The love of these things, without understanding there is spirit, soul, God, is... just as empty as the other side... which he came from. Yes, I told him so. And, no, this isn't about you, mm.
I am still considering whether I am, exactly, liberal. In the sense brought up in the clip. Yes, of course, but... No less, or more, than the founding fathers had to consider, if much more than most even think to ponder. Liberty does have a place, but how responsibility, restraint, and how those and some other things tie into a cohesive civil reality, and should or should not be enforced, is... Well, it's complicated. Don't let sound-bites or emotions fool you into believing you can honestly pursue those truths. Grow up, thinking about what you owe and what you deserve, on both sides of the coin... what of that is personal, what of it is social. Mix in God, mundane realities, and what really seems to work and not work. By the time you die, it is hoped, you might understand that you can't know. If you don't have faith, you have nowhere to go but down.
Later.
.
Just... sharing a tiny bit more at a time. It is all some can take and I am busy.
One major point of contention. America, at least in the past, did not become great because of a love of money. It became great because it believed people should be free to create, and use, wealth. A belief that was based on a faith that God gave us laws and rights, things the state should not interfere, hinder, or attempt to end. Fundamentally, America was great because of, and through, Christian beliefs and the employment of those truths. Not a love of money. I'll give him some cover, that he was speaking about mundane economics, and not digging all the way through. For now. I have a brother who calls himself a conservative, when in truth all he believes in is money, and probably power. The love of these things, without understanding there is spirit, soul, God, is... just as empty as the other side... which he came from. Yes, I told him so. And, no, this isn't about you, mm.
I am still considering whether I am, exactly, liberal. In the sense brought up in the clip. Yes, of course, but... No less, or more, than the founding fathers had to consider, if much more than most even think to ponder. Liberty does have a place, but how responsibility, restraint, and how those and some other things tie into a cohesive civil reality, and should or should not be enforced, is... Well, it's complicated. Don't let sound-bites or emotions fool you into believing you can honestly pursue those truths. Grow up, thinking about what you owe and what you deserve, on both sides of the coin... what of that is personal, what of it is social. Mix in God, mundane realities, and what really seems to work and not work. By the time you die, it is hoped, you might understand that you can't know. If you don't have faith, you have nowhere to go but down.
Later.
Hmm? That's... not right.
.
.
I was just checking my blog stats at blogger. I have nine pageviews that are showing (for between the last hour, or two... all give or take as it's not set up to make perfect sense easily). Well, okay. What about sources? Only one source? Fair enough, perhaps someone is just doing a lot of looking. Alright, what about the audience? Okay, five US, three Russian, and one Canadian... Five Safari, three FireFox, and one Chrome... Seems to jive with nationality, if I think some that is jimmied (visiting through a foreign source, for example, or deliberate tracking hijinks, but... As I have explained, actual foreign doesn't show up here... never mind just... trust)... And... five iphone, four windows. Okay, seems to check. But one source? Yeah, well... I don't even think they are trying to put anything like real numbers up. It sort of reminds me of those temporary decals manufacturers place on some devices that pretend to show them functioning, but... aren't really showing anything.
I don't care. It is simply that I have been trying to make some sense of the stats, once in a while. Every time I look, I see things that just aren't so. This area, that stat compared to this one, and so on. Then again, the so-called respectable stat counters are no better, none of them even correlating with each other. All stats are dog and pony shows. So, when you see a sight that has too many hits, and you can't figure out why? Be very suspicious. Between government, leftist corporate, and personal influences... those numbers don't mean jack. Some numbers I am more inclined, through other evidence such as comments, to believe. Some? Not so much, at all. Just don't worry about numbers. They are all fiction, or potentially, at this point. It's a way of leading the herd off the cliff. I think too many are waking up, and really screwing with their algorithms though. Evil really isn't good at this stuff, and people are losing their fear of threats, because they know that murder is preferable to torture then murder. Evil just isn't able to herd them through now. But it does keep trying.
Later.
.
I was just checking my blog stats at blogger. I have nine pageviews that are showing (for between the last hour, or two... all give or take as it's not set up to make perfect sense easily). Well, okay. What about sources? Only one source? Fair enough, perhaps someone is just doing a lot of looking. Alright, what about the audience? Okay, five US, three Russian, and one Canadian... Five Safari, three FireFox, and one Chrome... Seems to jive with nationality, if I think some that is jimmied (visiting through a foreign source, for example, or deliberate tracking hijinks, but... As I have explained, actual foreign doesn't show up here... never mind just... trust)... And... five iphone, four windows. Okay, seems to check. But one source? Yeah, well... I don't even think they are trying to put anything like real numbers up. It sort of reminds me of those temporary decals manufacturers place on some devices that pretend to show them functioning, but... aren't really showing anything.
I don't care. It is simply that I have been trying to make some sense of the stats, once in a while. Every time I look, I see things that just aren't so. This area, that stat compared to this one, and so on. Then again, the so-called respectable stat counters are no better, none of them even correlating with each other. All stats are dog and pony shows. So, when you see a sight that has too many hits, and you can't figure out why? Be very suspicious. Between government, leftist corporate, and personal influences... those numbers don't mean jack. Some numbers I am more inclined, through other evidence such as comments, to believe. Some? Not so much, at all. Just don't worry about numbers. They are all fiction, or potentially, at this point. It's a way of leading the herd off the cliff. I think too many are waking up, and really screwing with their algorithms though. Evil really isn't good at this stuff, and people are losing their fear of threats, because they know that murder is preferable to torture then murder. Evil just isn't able to herd them through now. But it does keep trying.
Later.
Dreams can just be... funny.
.
.
I won't say the dream last night was funny. There are aspects of it, in retrospect, that to me, have humorous merit. In the dream, I was Spock. Not literally or figuratively Spock, but that is how I was seen by others. Somehow, myself and a companion... who appeared as Kirk, traveled back to the 1960's, when the shows were popular, but as if they had never aired. And, yet, perhaps from books, myself and and my companion were recognized as being the fictional characters. Perhaps from fan-fic art, or book advertising, or... something. However, it was taken... not that we were actors, but somehow that we were the real... McCoys. Ha.
Now, we knew we weren't. We weren't trying to be, either. Neither did we dress as such, nor try to be in character. We were sent back to check on something, perhaps change a mistake that had been made. My logical mind kept thinking that, if we were trying to change the past, perhaps being public figures, and open about it, wasn't the best tack. My mind varied with the dream. Still, as I have mentioned, even if I think something is a stinker in my dreams, so long as it doesn't morally offend, I generally let it go. Just to see where it is headed. Curiosity. So it was.
We ended up in a small town. Utah, Iowa, makes little difference. I was seen as cold, calculating, but with a good will... generally. I was also seen as alien and problematic, socially. In truth, while it bugged me to see it so raw, I think that is very possibly true, today, and for most of my life. A little different, a bit odd, stronger than what would seem natural, with an odd set to how my mind works. Sure, I am not extremely strong today, but for someone who could be on the heart transplant list, I am Olympian... you have to work in the givens, mind you. Some other things, in the dream, too. Fair enough, if, as I mentioned, a bit off-putting. My friend was seen as charming and wise. Bastard. Still, whoever it was, we were friends, and did have obviously different tacts and methods. Why do I always have to be the brunette amongst blondes, even on the male side of things? :p Hmm, I wonder if Kirk was also a side of me, one which just doesn't get majority play? Dunno, but possible.
I can't remember what we were to do, though I think we did it and then returned to our time... now really. No, I didn't have pointy ears... or eye shadow. Certainly not red eye shadow, green mascara. Bleh. I don't know. It was just a funny trip into the oddities of the mind, the past, small town life I know and love, science fiction in the dream and from real life, a veritable mix of strange and common known elements, and perhaps various elements of myself. Entertained, and tickled a bit about some things, though not completely without some realizations and frustrations... and a nose tweak at some truths. *bent out of shape just a wee* All good. A perfect Halloween treat, all in all.
Later.
.
I won't say the dream last night was funny. There are aspects of it, in retrospect, that to me, have humorous merit. In the dream, I was Spock. Not literally or figuratively Spock, but that is how I was seen by others. Somehow, myself and a companion... who appeared as Kirk, traveled back to the 1960's, when the shows were popular, but as if they had never aired. And, yet, perhaps from books, myself and and my companion were recognized as being the fictional characters. Perhaps from fan-fic art, or book advertising, or... something. However, it was taken... not that we were actors, but somehow that we were the real... McCoys. Ha.
Now, we knew we weren't. We weren't trying to be, either. Neither did we dress as such, nor try to be in character. We were sent back to check on something, perhaps change a mistake that had been made. My logical mind kept thinking that, if we were trying to change the past, perhaps being public figures, and open about it, wasn't the best tack. My mind varied with the dream. Still, as I have mentioned, even if I think something is a stinker in my dreams, so long as it doesn't morally offend, I generally let it go. Just to see where it is headed. Curiosity. So it was.
We ended up in a small town. Utah, Iowa, makes little difference. I was seen as cold, calculating, but with a good will... generally. I was also seen as alien and problematic, socially. In truth, while it bugged me to see it so raw, I think that is very possibly true, today, and for most of my life. A little different, a bit odd, stronger than what would seem natural, with an odd set to how my mind works. Sure, I am not extremely strong today, but for someone who could be on the heart transplant list, I am Olympian... you have to work in the givens, mind you. Some other things, in the dream, too. Fair enough, if, as I mentioned, a bit off-putting. My friend was seen as charming and wise. Bastard. Still, whoever it was, we were friends, and did have obviously different tacts and methods. Why do I always have to be the brunette amongst blondes, even on the male side of things? :p Hmm, I wonder if Kirk was also a side of me, one which just doesn't get majority play? Dunno, but possible.
I can't remember what we were to do, though I think we did it and then returned to our time... now really. No, I didn't have pointy ears... or eye shadow. Certainly not red eye shadow, green mascara. Bleh. I don't know. It was just a funny trip into the oddities of the mind, the past, small town life I know and love, science fiction in the dream and from real life, a veritable mix of strange and common known elements, and perhaps various elements of myself. Entertained, and tickled a bit about some things, though not completely without some realizations and frustrations... and a nose tweak at some truths. *bent out of shape just a wee* All good. A perfect Halloween treat, all in all.
Later.
Friday, October 31, 2014
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Something is happening.
.
.
Not sure. I really am feeling much better, stronger, ready. Not for war, not for running to the hills, not for taking on evil, just... better. I did get out today. A little later, of course, having waken at about the time I was roughly scheduled to be heading to town. Still, with no more than a cup of coffee and a shower, I was able to get going in spite of working yesterday. I am a bit sore, stiff, though I don't think it was from work. Just one of those things. The pains aren't in the right places for the work done. Maybe staying up too late caused me to sleep too hard. Who knows. Even so, that doesn't dampen the sense of being well.
We got our haircuts, headed for dinner. No shopping, since I got enough last night for a while. He has an item he is looking to buy. I told him I would look online, to see what I could find. He may, or may not, do that himself. I think the internet is still a bit of a mystery, and a strain, for him. No worries, it takes time. And, as I have suggested, we have the rest of our lives to work at things. Which, by the way, is every bit as true as it is useful. Well... it might help when nothing else is helping? The mind is a terribly interesting thing, hope is a powerful tool, and... Yeah.
No work when I got home. Too full, and tired. Today didn't wear me out. Yesterday did. Messing with the schedule, lawn work, and such. Actually, this has been a busier week in ways that may not be apparent. I have been either doing, or pushing and pulling to get in gear, most of this week. I don't write down every effort, every success, or all failures. Failures can be just as taxing as successes, in the right, or wrong, state of being. Doing nothing, as a car with it's accelerator jammed to the floor, but blocked from moving... That sort of thing.
I am hoping to get to more lawn work tomorrow. The wood that can be piled, the chairs and table, then, maybe, figuring out how best to cut the longer remaining branches. It is difficult to justify starting up the chainsaw for twigs. Actually, it is impossible to justify. But an ax? I have trimmers/clippers that might work for some of it. I just, honestly, don't know what would be best for that task. I've never done such a task before. Seems easy, or a simple notion, to the experienced. But is it? Or do they just do what they do as they are running out of energy, on the last of the work, without thinking about it? Dunno... I'll... be thinking of it.
Another dream, last night. A naked woman, out in front of me. No, not what you are thinking. She was not clothed, but not as an enticement, or a personal or shared shame, or in a deliberate willful disregard. She was properly shameless in just existing as she was. I did look with some lust, hunger. But then I was shamed. I was allowed to see her as God sees her, and saw how petty my thoughts were and how truly beautiful she was. It is a dream from another time in my existence, when I was just learning. Back then, it was a difficult dream. Now... a very good one. I have distanced myself from pure lust. Desire remains, but it is much tempered, and right. I wonder if God decided to gift me, in a way. A pat on the back for tendering, in the other dream, but not as a servant... as a... man. A reminder of how far I have come, mostly. Dunno, but it was a very fine dream. I wish you could see women, and men, as God does. Yes, it would change... much.
Well... on to... I dunno... Something. Later. Good night. I dunno!
.
Not sure. I really am feeling much better, stronger, ready. Not for war, not for running to the hills, not for taking on evil, just... better. I did get out today. A little later, of course, having waken at about the time I was roughly scheduled to be heading to town. Still, with no more than a cup of coffee and a shower, I was able to get going in spite of working yesterday. I am a bit sore, stiff, though I don't think it was from work. Just one of those things. The pains aren't in the right places for the work done. Maybe staying up too late caused me to sleep too hard. Who knows. Even so, that doesn't dampen the sense of being well.
We got our haircuts, headed for dinner. No shopping, since I got enough last night for a while. He has an item he is looking to buy. I told him I would look online, to see what I could find. He may, or may not, do that himself. I think the internet is still a bit of a mystery, and a strain, for him. No worries, it takes time. And, as I have suggested, we have the rest of our lives to work at things. Which, by the way, is every bit as true as it is useful. Well... it might help when nothing else is helping? The mind is a terribly interesting thing, hope is a powerful tool, and... Yeah.
No work when I got home. Too full, and tired. Today didn't wear me out. Yesterday did. Messing with the schedule, lawn work, and such. Actually, this has been a busier week in ways that may not be apparent. I have been either doing, or pushing and pulling to get in gear, most of this week. I don't write down every effort, every success, or all failures. Failures can be just as taxing as successes, in the right, or wrong, state of being. Doing nothing, as a car with it's accelerator jammed to the floor, but blocked from moving... That sort of thing.
I am hoping to get to more lawn work tomorrow. The wood that can be piled, the chairs and table, then, maybe, figuring out how best to cut the longer remaining branches. It is difficult to justify starting up the chainsaw for twigs. Actually, it is impossible to justify. But an ax? I have trimmers/clippers that might work for some of it. I just, honestly, don't know what would be best for that task. I've never done such a task before. Seems easy, or a simple notion, to the experienced. But is it? Or do they just do what they do as they are running out of energy, on the last of the work, without thinking about it? Dunno... I'll... be thinking of it.
Another dream, last night. A naked woman, out in front of me. No, not what you are thinking. She was not clothed, but not as an enticement, or a personal or shared shame, or in a deliberate willful disregard. She was properly shameless in just existing as she was. I did look with some lust, hunger. But then I was shamed. I was allowed to see her as God sees her, and saw how petty my thoughts were and how truly beautiful she was. It is a dream from another time in my existence, when I was just learning. Back then, it was a difficult dream. Now... a very good one. I have distanced myself from pure lust. Desire remains, but it is much tempered, and right. I wonder if God decided to gift me, in a way. A pat on the back for tendering, in the other dream, but not as a servant... as a... man. A reminder of how far I have come, mostly. Dunno, but it was a very fine dream. I wish you could see women, and men, as God does. Yes, it would change... much.
Well... on to... I dunno... Something. Later. Good night. I dunno!
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