Bits, parts, pieces.

.
.
More sorting.  Something found that was thought lost.  For a while I lost so much weight or size my chastity ring fell off.  I didn't know if it was indoors or out, though I had been to town quite a bit in that time, and was working outdoors often.  Good to have.  It doesn't carry my conviction, only signifies my time.  Bought around the ten year mark, give or take a few years.  Must be nearing the fifteen year mark, plus or minus a few.  My last would know.  It has not been an easy thing.  I almost like women and their... peculiar... oddities.

Bits of stuff is being sorted for saving, shredding, or direct disposal.  It's a pretty quick process, the volume is the bottleneck.  Oh, I finally reordered silverware, so pulled reserves.  I keep 'losing' pieces.  I didn't 'lose' a single piece in five years in Iowa.  Dishes were washed, are rinsing.  One wash was enough.  Easy, actually.  I'll hit them again before gaming.  It'll knock those out, so I'll set up a brand new double batch.  I think I'll get to the bathroom, and maybe yet asses the bedrooms... do a bit but more draft a plan of attack.  Put it all in one room, then figure out what where?  I really have to push.

I have figured a way to send an email but it has to wait for Monday.  I absolutely have to be up and going Monday, for at least two other vital reasons.  Add another to the list.  It's a lousy game, perpetually behind the eightball.  But that is what being disabled and hated grants. Some of it deserved, until it becomes self-inflicted.  Some of it not.  It is the way of it.  I... don't even know if life would make sense to me without it.  I'd sure like to find out, but that will never be.  At least this one is my fault.  Even filled paperwork out twice, if I... have no idea where either form got.

Blood sugar finally dropped.  It took a full day and night of sleep, but it is down to 138.  Ugh.  That was like pulling teeth.  I was beginning to think my tea had been spiked.  Fasting is much easier today.  I may be able to do a longer fast.  Perhaps much longer.  If so, I'll cut testing to four times a day, unless I get 'that feeling'.  The shakes, cold sweats, heart weirdness, etc., which comes from low blood sugar at 60, perhaps starting at 70?  Only had that once, on insulin, though.  I doubt if my body will go that low on it's own.  I used to starve for weeks, never had that.  If I can go five, I might try two weeks... with a close watch on things.

Funny, they don't believe any of this, officially.  Just can't get over they were so horribly gullible to a false diagnosis from the Navy.  People are going to burn for what they did, and continue to try to do.  Go gaslight yourself, I am out of your grasp.

Now to hit the dishes, start the bathroom, then game a bit.  Later.

Making it back to terra firma.

.
.
Literally and figuratively.  Playing, well, Doom.  Uhrm, no reference back to the music from the recent dream, mind you.  The console game.  The newest version.  Which is either based 140 million light years, as miles wouldn't be far enough?, away, or crossing dimensions into hell.  As well, I did a bit of work, after setting up medicines.  I think the heat is thawing me out of my mini iceage hell.  Was quite stuck.  Picking up around my chair.  Then setting up dishes while eyeing the bathroom for a solid hit.  And, well, giving the old stink-eye to... well... the whole rest of the joint.  It will take some work.  It might be doable.

After the dishes soaking, whether they need washed twice or not, I'll tackle the bathroom.  I think I can finish it tonight.  Easily if this feeling, sense of being alive, remains.  Then a shower.  If I have more, I may hit my room and the spare room... beginning to square those.  I expect one, perhaps two, visits this summer.  If it goes well, perhaps more, from others, in the future.  Yeah, I need to try.  What is it about striking while the iron is hot?  And it is only going to get hotter.

I need to call about a bin, or figure out some other means of dumping a lot of stuff.  Hmm, metals... I know where those could go.  I really need a wagon for my mower.  It would make a lot of things a lot easier.  The thing is all the sorting first!  If I can push, perhaps in a week or two I could be ready for a container.  It would probably be a useless expense unless I could get it for just the price of pickups?  I will look that up now.

Windy, outside, but not as cool.  I am guessing cooler nights are gone.  Probably the low 50's, when luck holds.  Rarer as summer ascends.  Eventually 70's, or was that a particularly hot summer?  No complaints.  I am enjoying this early part of summer.  If I can just barter that into real work.  I've got to kill it.  I want visitors, ones who wouldn't mind returning.  Even bachelor friends have limits.

Blood sugar has been annoying.  Starting at 195, it moved on to 218, 211, and now 173.  I am fasting, I remind.  BP is higher, worst I've seen it since the emergency room, if pulse is good.  I did begin calcium, magnesium, zinc, and super b complex, but that shouldn't do it?  Gaming, but I often game and it doesn't do that.  Not sure.  I'm taking a double dose of vitamins and minerals today.  I am certain they are really low.  Potassium was good, so my dose with outflows is good.  But the cramping was bad until Desert Cat let me in on that hot tip, at least of taking minerals.  I've just slipped a bit lately.  Taking meds has been about it.  Oh, couldn't find my multivitamins, so have those four in daily for the next two weeks.  Should have my regulars back in stock, or found, by then.

Fasting, and email problems.

.
.
I have no idea when I went to bed.  I woke around 15:00.  Blood sugar was 195, has since climbed to 218 for no good reason.  It was down to 145 yesterday, between meals.  No, I don't understand.  No food today or tomorrow, if plans follow.  Perhaps longer if possible.  If I can fast for five days I will.  I'll just have to crack down.  As I have brought bp down, and am bringing blood sugar down, I will bring my a1c down.  BP was good, enough.

I received great news.  An old friend sent an email saying he would like to visit.  He was a neighbor physics grad student when I was in engineering school.  We split a ranch.  He mowed for a meal or two a week.  We used to... butt heads on everything.  Not quite Archie and Meathead, both of the conservative side, both going more conservative, just at different places and at various speeds... uhrm, velocities.  :p

Anyway... the one time in years I have needed gmail it fails.  Says something about not being able to confirm the host.  He has the same domain, is it, since then, perhaps back to high school.  Their suggested fix?  Contact the sender to have them go to a link and figure it out.  It's my only contact point.  I checked a number I had, but nope.  He must have changed it, or lost it while figuring out finances after school.  I tried to look him up.  May have found him, but no new or local number.

I even tried to create new email accounts, but no.  I'll figure something out.  Apparently he doesn't read here anymore, if he ever did?  If you do, just talk in the comments, B.  Dratted drats.  I was going to warn him about the dry heat.  He lived in L.V. for a goodly spell, no need.  I'll figure something out shortly.

I'll have to get cracking on the cave and my guns.  For an academic he was alright.  We used to do scotch if we have both at least cut way back.  A few shots a month, mostly.  Not even every month.  He might be interested in boating, and seeing the valley and canyons, a bit anyway.  I've been itching to get out, just can't do it for myself.

Oh, I best get vitamins going.  While the water pills are keeping my lungs dry, they are also washing a lot of stuff out, minerals... the electrolytes... which leads to leg cramps.  While it isn't causing spasms, it has become a near permanent ache from a mild charliehorse, in my left lower leg, mostly below the calf.  Yeah.

It got at least into the low 80's F, remaining much cooler in here.  It is almost time to start the ac upstairs.  Just a few hours in the morning, perhaps, if I'll hold off for a bit.  It is getting as low as the low 40's at night.  Opening it all up helps, just have to close it all before noon, earlier now probably.  Hmm, running just the fan upstairs, at night, might be good.  But it's a memory and physical effort issue to mess with it every day.  Perhaps another timer?

I best get to something.  Perhaps start cleaning, get returns together and set to go, and shower?  In a bit.  I'll look for vitamins, try to get that all set up first.  Later.

Always something.

.
.
Boiled eggs, belt sizes, returns, towels, and more?

I do like boiled eggs.  Often tricky to get just right.  A bit trickier when of different sizes.  Yet so much better home raised.  Only nine fit in the pan I grabbed.  I'll fry the rest shortly.  I even got them semi-hard boiled, how I prefer them.  Questionable?  Are you nuts?  If you eat runny yolks (which I always do), that yolk is more undercooked.  Anyway, I am definitely enjoying country living.  I am cutting back on milk, but I enjoyed going long on that for a while.

As to belts?  A size up is what I was supposed to order.  My bad.  And, no.  There is no wiggle room.  I'll try the jeans before returning, just in case they don't fit.  One return if possible.  I have so many returns I am choking.  Some might have timed out.  I'll find out soon enough.

Oh, the towels which didn't impress me?  By eyes, no.  In practice?  Absolutely wonderful!  I can admit when I was wrong.  Thankfully I don't have to eat crow anyplace but here.  Beyond truly being plush and absorbent, they are massive.  At least 25% bigger than my old bath sheets.  Like a million bucks.  They don't look it though.  I might get a shower tonight just to use one again.

I do need to get vitamins going again.  Cramps.  Legs.  The water pills drain harshly.  A daily multi, plus the major minerals boosted three days a week.  While I am doing exceptionally well with medicine, I never did find and refill vitamins.  I need to refill everything again, again, so now would be a good time.

A nap transformed.

.
.
Down at 8:00.  No choice.  Could not wake until 17:48 or such.  Well, I became aware a few times, had to use the bathroom at least once.  Just couldn't pull it all together.  I was sure it was warm, maybe hot today.  That didn't help either.  Dead, by rights.  Sleep was deep and rich.  Dreams, good ones, out of memories reach.

I couldn't figure out how to tell time.  The girls have managed to unplug the clock in there.  I'll fix that, but it won't change today.  Why would they do it?  Because, or to turn off the glow, or because CORD!  I sometimes think they do have some idea what they are doing, set out with a plan.  Sometimes they just do things.  As with women, which event is from one of those sources or the other you will never know.

No call to the doc.  I may just call, request the information.  I really only need a bit of the data.  Oh, and my post office box has been closed again.  I'll have to get in Monday.  I really need to set up the phone device so as to get rid of the cellphone soon.  Always something, more, else, new.

Blood sugars are bouncing between 170 and 225 without good cause.  Bp is becoming more regularly lower with pulse hitting the lower 80's mostly.  I'm doing what I can.  Sure is getting warm!  I am actually happy about that.  Oh, and my 38's from Dulth are in.  Later.

A short, off, down cycle.

.
.
So hot, tired, and grumpy by the time I got home.  Then not being able to sleep until much later.  Grumpy about more than just the long day.  Restless and more.

I realized my phone was still on airplane mode, and off.  Put it back on and received a message from the doc.  My a1c is... rather high.  As are a few other things indicating my kidneys are taking a beating.  I had decided to hold off to see if my glucose is going down, but realized that isn't necessary.  My local doc took the readings recently.  I forgot to call in and check.  I will do that today.  If the two a1c's are similar I may have to... reconsider some things.  I am not practical at every turn, definitely not at every point in time.  In the longer haul, if that timespan hopefully is shrinking due to an association to, appreciation of, wisdom, it is hoped practicality is becoming surer sooner.  Still not sure about this, or that.  But I will review, reviewing further as needed.

Down around 18:00?  Up at 1:00?  Not perfect, not bad.  Fasting blood sugar is 177.  It was 253 before bedtime.  BP, while not way out, is ugly.  Hey, but I am going to start taking carvedilol twice a day, as intended.  If efficacy diminishes, an easy fix.  I'll check bp again in a few hours, as with blood sugar, before eating.  Bacon, eggs, and milk.  Zounds!

I called my mother, with some information, and curiosity.  She has started working.  Four to six hours a day, perhaps four days a week, plus occasional slot fills.  Enough to keep her active, involved with the world, but hopefully not too worn.  What I wouldn't give to be able to maintain a schedule to do even just that sort of job...  just to be up, out, have some function, use, relevance, social and public presence, if still be slightly personally invisible.  Odd how some people are invisible to others.  These are some of my favorite people... especially when they are so alive when... noticed.  Oh, she did receive her utensils.  Good enough, more than enough.  That is what I like to hear.

Yes.  A bit less grumpy.  A plan.  Not quite so boxed in.  We will see.  Be good, peoples.

We will!  ;p

Brutal day.

.
.
Not a bad day, just a long one.  Bedtime lately has been 9:00.  Which was my appointment time in SLC.  Primary.  Blood work first, so I aimed to be there by 7:00.  Leaving here at 5:15, plus with probable traffic problems?  I could hope to be there by 8:00.  I might have to skip the lab, just do it after.  Traffic was excellent, I was there, parked, and after a short wait, getting my blood drawn at 7:30.  I do my best, it worked today.

I then found where optometry is.  I wasn't able to do more than locate the room.  It didn't open untill my appointment time.  I also checked and they did have my bank set for transportation reimbursement.  No time to fill out a form for today quite yet.  Little bits anyway, then back to primary to wait.

BP was a bit high, but came down after a bit.  Their scale is 20 pounds more than mine.  Since I am wearing 38's, I think they jack the scale.  With vets they hate, they are very passive-aggressive.  They can't be trusted.  As usual, they ignore me when I tell them my main symptom is and always has been exhaustion.  Painful, crippling, exhaustion.  And that most medicine exacerbates that.  Tried to tell me my condition was from heavy drinking after the Navy, but slipped because I got sick IN the Navy as a rare light drinker.  As well, is trying to push insulin.  No.

I had my blood sugar reader, and bp data, out nearly in the vehicle.  Then had to bring something in, brought those in, and forgot them.  Ugh.

After, I did get up to where to get the scripts turned into actual glasses.  A bit of a wait but I felt bad for them.  I went with bifocals, progressives.  As well I got my cd (something diapter) measured for the way the site I will be buying from wanted them measured.  As well, I got a copy of my prescription.  I'll just order distance vision glasses first, online.  If the VA and online glasses check out, then I may bite the bullet on a pair of backup bifocals.  I asked a few questions about how to order, best sized frames, and what a few things meant.  Learning, trying.  They had so much gunk in my eyes when they tested that... I'm not sure it was done right.  That won't happen again.

Finally, I signed for travel.  Deserve?  I expected them to shoot me, if I failed.  But, as I have learned, they were trying to cheat me from the start.  Just weren't quite up to pure murder.  Mostly.  They did have me on 100 mg of carvedilol.  I... think they have tried.  First they try to kill me, then act as if to save me.  Then try to force medicines.  I simply don't trust them.  I will be getting medicine through them, for now, is how I was told.

Someone has a bee in her bonnet.

.
.
Must have hit a nerve.  I'm pretty sure where.

Yeah?

.
.
I believe my elders hated when we, as kids, said "yeah".  And we cared deeply enough to remember their umbrage and say yeah every chance we got, until they started to slip, then correct them.  Or... maybe that was just me?  Just chuckling about the simple evils of youth.  It's about as far as it went.  And only for those with powerplay minds or one too many pet peeves.

Dreams.  Ones who got away through no fault of ours.  One I met in some nowhere airport, both of us coming from and going to different points.  I remember her name, or close.  Such a freak, ugly, name for such a pretty woman, if I am not sure how to spell it. Phillamena?  How we ended up even meeting?  Then looking for a closet or bathroom to, well, do what we intended?  All but a home run, not from lack of effort.  Everything was battened down.  This was before security insanity, and foreign to boot.  It was just shut... because.  None of the kiosks were vacant or well enough enclosed.  Ran out of time.

A snack helped.

.
.
Usually a snack will push blood sugar higher.  My blood sugar was 251 before the snack... spicy pork rinds... didn't want to fuss with popcorn.  Too tired.  Whatever is the problem remains.  I was suspicious, the third ingredient was dextrose.  That is usually a bad thing, like sugar or worse.  This time it worked.  Two hours after the smallish snack and blood sugar is 206.  Crazy but I'll take it.

I will put the towels in the dryer then go on to bed.  I'd like to get to the post office, and UPS.  I just can't.  Zapped, harshly.  Hmm, might fry a few eggs.  Quite good.  Try some salsa on that.  Good night and day.

Between here and there.

.
.
Getting to work seems improbable.  Why?  I don't know.  Just getting things done in the cave is like pulling teeth.  A shower today.  Really need to shave.  I did toss the towels in for a wash, will dry them shortly.  Need to do dishes, other laundry, cleaning, clearing.  At least the trash and recycling cans are set back up.  Well maybe not recycling yet?

Blood sugar was still high, but dinner went forth.  It dropped to 250 before dinner, went to 317 two hours after.  At 1:45, in 25, I'll check the four hour mark.  I'll check bp and pulse too.  If that was the high, or seems it, and it came down to 250 or less, it isn't the food, but volume, that was the problem.  Two burritos with everything except black olive slices.  It's what I have to eat.  Oh, tea instead of milk.

Spearmint is in going with tea.  I purchased that and peppermint with other spices and herbs.  I really should grow some.  That and popcorn if I get hungry.  I need to shop.  Snacks.  Various nuts, perhaps try better nut butters as peanut butter really is pretty bad.  But that would go well with fresh vegetables and some fruits.  By the way, what do they do to some fruits?  I bought granny smith apples and they never went bad.  Shook me up a bit.  I just let them go, eventually throwing them out in disgust, almost fear.  Then it got worse... I wondered how old they were when I bought them.  A plastic world?

Bah.  Blood sugar, after four hours, is still very high... 308.  I'm betting on the salsa.  Everything else I have had in various mixes.  No sugar?  Possible if the use certain tomatoes, if I have my doubts.  I'll try it with something, like pork, that I know isn't high in the glycemic index (or at least for me in my typical doses).  Well, and I can try burritos without it.  Hmm, and white flour tortillas.  Yeah.  Still, need to find out what I can use.  BP went up, 156/106 p. 80.  I don't write that slow, just fiddling, tea, and other things interfering.

Since I can't do else, gaming... if not even much of that.  It is something.

Enough for now.  Later.

A split decision.

.
.
Awake, late.  Went down after 9:00, woke after 17:00.  A shower first thing.  Then blood sugar.  Terrible, 300.  I have to rethink burritos, if I crowded my plate.  However, bp was smack, 130/79 p. 50?  I did both arms, 122/89 p. 51, so, yeah.  Whack, Jack.  I can live with those numbers.  Weight is 255.  I would love to see 250, and 240 is my reevaluation number.  Plateaued, though.  Ugh.

I should have a few packages.  My towels were getting pretty ratty.  Serviceable but for how long?  And I was lead to the notion of white towels, so I could sanitize if needed, as well as bleach if else failed.  I use bath sheets for obvious reasons, and turkish are among the best.  I'll wash them first.  I am hoping my reasoning and planning pay off.

I'd best get ready.  Later.
------------

Just coasting.

.
.
Burritos, with everything save lettuce.  Two meals of it.  I don't make them well, to be honest, or my taste buds are down for maintenance.  Still, something new.

Blood sugar is remaining high.  Burritos don't seem to raise it more than other meals.  Blood pressure has been on the lower end of the ranges.  Medicine is back on track.  I tried a new type of salsa, with no advertised sugar.  I think it might work.

I called my mother.  She seems to think she might visit.  I best figure out how to dig in and get things ready, as ready as I can.  I let her know to look for a few things.  If I am going to spend good money on pans she prefers, to get rid of bad nonstick pans, I decided to make sure she had cooking utensils which wouldn't scratch the pans.  It's just covering my investment.

The side veggies were watered.  Nothing but the hand sprayer worked.  It worked easily well enough.  Every other day, for a bit.  I want to see growth.  It is also about time to bring my houseplants out.  I winter them in the bathroom.  Another shower or two and they should be ready.  I am thinking of setting the tea plant out, get it used to the outside a bit first.  I'd like to see it bloom.  Just to see if I can get that to happen.

Ah, I have heard the boat did well.  Easy enough to work, probably even solo.  I don't know if they tried standing, but I had it that it's floor can be inflated to a rigidity which allows stand paddling.  Not sure about my size, if there is only one way to find out.  I would need a new type of paddle, but that is doable.  I am excited to try.

Not much else.  I have to go down, sleep is calling.  The boss thinks I will be working later.  I suspect he is right.  Something about weeding, clearing some of the living room, and something else.  Oh, and best settle accounts.  He'll be happy to hear a toy I returned is being replaced.  Not sure when it will arrive, if probably this week yet.  Though who knows.  Good night, day.

Tomorrow is here.

.
.
If, as soon as you realize and square that?  You realize it is just today, again.  And in worst case general scenarios, it's a Mon day.  Which, you probably know by now.  I am just discerning this.  Thankfully or not, every myday is pretty much Anyday.  It's just dealing with Mon day gloompusses that can get me.  I much prefer Hump day attitudes, even if I am sure most of you aren't going to.  Back to the mines, slaves!  But at least you post perty pics and shut it about Monday.  :p  No hate, I'm actually jealous.  Mostly.

Blood sugar was 234.  BP is 132/102 p. 82.  I finished the last of the soda last night.  Yeah.  Waste not.  It'll come back around.  About to grill a steak and do more eggs.  Did I say how delicious home raised eggs are?  They are.  Rich, orange, yolks, perfect whites, a flavor not offered in the organic section of the stores.  All eggs there were off... I was starting to wonder if I had become allergic.  Nope.  And duck eggs?  Bigger, with a lot more yolk.  If you a love yolk, this is your golden egg.  Life is good.

As to steaks?  From now on, I will be getting about thirty half inchers and fifteen inchers.  When steak becomes regular, eating roast size isn't quite the thing.  Or I'll see about other steaks.  Variety.  But, yeah, steaks are the main food, just... smaller bites.  I still have enough for a bit.  I'd also like to price lamb again.  That both helps the 4-H'ers, but provides a rich bounty.  That won't be until late August or later.  How to arrange meat purchases so they don't trip up finances...

I thought, from senses and sounds, that gloom had returned, and rain.  It made getting out of bed difficult.  Imagine my surprise and joy to find it otherwise.  The cave is just rigged well.  And the roof sounds were from metal expansion.  It is 85 F out there.  Coming out from a house in the high 60's it felt good.

I'll hit dishes, do some cleaning, maybe strip the bedding, do a lot.  Oh, and water the side yard veggies as soon as the sun is off them and it has time to cool.  I may begin doing that in short bursts, every other day, once set up.  Until I see more good growth again, then go to biweekly, but longer waterings?  I have no idea what I am doing.  I wonder if I have a hoe?  I think I have a short tined type thing, with and adz adjacent.  Tinny thing, but works for as insubstantial as it seems.  I will try it.  Oh, could spray weeds and bugs sometime soon.  The weed spray is working, slowly.  Rain and cool have thwarted that a bit.  Ideas, anyway.  I best check on that grill.

Have a great Monday.  *grins*  Later.

Not much and no more.

.
.
Trash and recycling were collected, plus cat litter care.  Only trash pickup today.  Still, it is out.  I have been having difficulty getting things done.  A product of medication and cooler weather.  If it heats as they suggest it might help.  Into the 90's, through much of the week, last I heard.  If I can keep that a bit in check, through window opening and closing, plus judicious use of fans and ac units, yet let some heat in, and go out in it, life might improve.  It's having two gorillas, or three, in tow.  I am used to having one, always.

Lost track of medicine for two days.  Back on it fully today.  A side effect of the medicine.  I'm trying to get back to it, full time, to see what else could be done.  Not sure I can sustain higher doses of the main pill, others seem to cause worse crashes.  I found a script of losartan, and am already taking that.  So...  I don't know.  I also haven't been doing bp this weekend.  I'll begin tomorrow.  Just zoned it out.  Concentration, focus, wasn't available, before the whisky pile-driver.

Grass was watered.  It's looking better.  I need to water the side yard, with the growy stuff, afterthe sun moves well over the house.  I may yet get a shower and shave in spite of the title of this post.  Of course, then I'd have to stay up for a bit longer.  Not sure I can sleep yet.  If I'm not sure I can get going either.  Stuck?  We'll see.

Is there a full moon thing?

.
.
Something seems to be in the air.  From news reported and not, people online and off, and yes, yours truly.  Just a strange moon if not a full one.

I went shopping for new cutlery.  A brand I like, trust.  The ones I bought for my mother.  This time I bought the set.  Expensive, but the set was at a steal price (will look them over carefully to be sure they aren't knock-offs, but it was from the manufacturer's mini-estore).  Odd thing though... I wanted extra pairing knives.  While looking, and about to add to my cart?  I realized another set was cheaper than the two pairing knives, or even a single chef's knife!  So I just went with an extra set.  I hope they aren't fakes, or bad seconds.

Still a bit green.  Blood sugar has been unstable. As low as 172, as high as 278 after the small bit I could eat, 192 right after I ate... forgot premeal so got it as soon as I remembered.  Now up to 212 or such without a bite since the low.  The numbers are from memory, but plus or minus five or so.  Still, a bit surprised it's not in the three hundreds, or higher, after yesterday.  Still, annoying.  I guess today will be a fast, maybe tomorrow.  My system just isn't used to Coka-Cola ramped booze, yes, regular, three liters.  Well, with the hooch on top, about a fifth of it but only 80 proof.

Later, or good night.

Tricks for summer.

.
.
Actually, they work for winter too, some of them.  Keeping heat or cold in the front rooms.  Most back windows open, which won't work much longer, save at night.  Heavier curtains with sheers as well, heelps aton.  I would like an exterior door between one of the rooms, as both more weather shielding and extra security.  But those are terribly expensive, doubly when installed.  For now a curtain rod and sheet, but it did quite well.  It got to 90 F, or really close.  Actually it even helped the front room remain cooler.  It only got to 74.  The rest of the cave stayed in the upper 60's.  I haven't needed the ac upstairs, if in the main bedroom, on hot days, it is sometimes necessary.

Funny, I sometimes need ac in the winter, if we get a relative warm spell.  I suppose the warming has been gradual enough for even me this spring?  Well, and it will take a bit to really heat, at which time the cave will hold heat and the ground won't sop it up as well.  Still, I am slowly learning how to better rig the cave.  At least until I get central air.  Some of it will still work, getting ducts to the front rooms would be an engineering beast, at some real risk.

Dinner is going.  The last of the roast, a potato, and corn.  I think half a potato will do, the rest can be warmed in a couple days.  Smaller potatoes?  No, they are more expensive and ding my blood sugar more for some reason.  Just normal potatoes.  I should try red, gold, and finger potatoes... for variety and as raw data.  I was tempted to buy squash the other day.  Soon.  As well, with cottage cheese and fruit, I am cutting portions.  I am trying to figure out what, how much, and when to eat.

I bought more corn, but somehow got a bunch of creamed corn.  They faced boxes with regular corn, then had the other behind.  I'll find a home for it and shop more carefully.

Most eating advice, other than cutting most sugar and fast burning carbs, if what even those are, what those mean, is inaccurate, hugely, at least for me.  Finding which foods that work, then controlling volume and frequency of consumption are the tricks.  The latter are equally important.  A difficult set of obstacles for a nearly sleep walker much of my time.  Such precise balance must be developed to gain control, something obviously not sustainable.  And, yet, the only option I will risk of the options available.

Stubborn?  No.  Alive beyond all reason and unwilling to let fool's jeopardize that for big pharma, medical industrial complex power pushes, especially combined with a growing government involvement in medicine.  Socialism always leads to genocide, usually of the sick first.  Just stopping insulin production would get rid of a lot of expense fast.  If the truth is it has nothing to do with money.  Unlike other "medicines", insulin creates a dependence, a vital one.  If I don't see it my lifetime I will be a bit surprised.  And it won't just be here.  Global.  It also won't just be insulin.  They might even base it on something true, in many places... water contamination.  Though for that to work they would have to kill the pill too, which is why it hasn't happened yet.  They need much higher levels of infertility.  Killing of the masses is tricky business.

Well, couldn't eat much.  Definitely still green about the gills.  Later.

Someone dipped into the magic juice.

.
.
Well, more than usual anyway.  I have a nip on rare occasions, to stave off chill, flu or cold (works for me mostly), or to add a hiccup to my step.  Long has it been that a nip or two wasn't all... a year, more like years.  Not sure what I posted.  Almost afraid to look.  I just, as matter of fact anymore, pull posts then review when I am less green about the head, shoulders, and gills.  Green with a bit of blue on black.

Finished off the Hell-Cat Maggie Irish.  Not a bad poison.  Then got through another half of Tullamore, if my last cup, with several shots, remained mostly untouched this morning.  *flush*  I, for one, do not do hair of the dog.  More drowsy than anything.  A little dehydrated as well.  A good meal before helps.

Dinner was fantastic.  I was missing roast beef.  My round up is beef and pork roasts, steak and pork ribs and chops, burger mixes, and more rarely chicken either hind quarters or whole.  Oh, lamb when I see it on sale... usually too brutally expensive.  I really need to mix that up or I get bored with food and, well, all sorts of things can happen.  *cough*

I ended up eating a third of the roast!  The rest will get heated in a bit.  I really like chuck roasts, but they have been too high.  Even at $4 a pound I nearly balked.  If the best price I see them is $3.50, if that has been some long time ago, if too I don't check every time.  Last few times I did check they were $5.50 or more.  Nope.  Heck, burger pops to nearly $5 a pound, and not the lean which is higher.  This time it was an incredible $2.89 or sich.  I grabbed several, always do when it is lower.  I really need to save up for a quarter or half a beef and hog again.  I end up paying less per pound for everything than I pay just for hamburger that way.  Thing is you have to have half a $K to burn on the lower end of beef or per hog (or lamb).  It's a wise stupid trick though.

Uhm, on to waking.  Good day.

Not exactly a tattoo: The next.

.
.
Know the enemy, especially if you are the enemy, love.

Better.

.
.
I've been messing up with blood sugar recently.  The wrong food, too much, too often... you know the drill, weather weight loss, gain, diabetes, or some others or mix is your game.  Some of it has to happen.  From figuring out how to control hunger using the right foods and amounts, to finding out which foods work, and that some labels seem to be false, mistakes have to happen, will happen.

My aftermeal blood sugar is 166, only a 14 point rise.  I accidentally purchased cream of corn.  I was sure that would jack blood sugar, but decided to test.  Learn a bite at a time.   It obviously didn't, of this brand.  It just isn't my favorite, though good for a change.  Problem?  Still hungry.  Too close for a snack.  So?  Oatmeal, with my mix of half and half.  I'll see how this does.  Gooder foods are generally worth the risk.

A kink in the back for no good reason.  Perhaps I'll do dishes tonight.  Maybe a shower and shave, I trimmed whiskers recently.  Random odd jobs through the weekend as possible.  Later.

That wasn't a nap.

.
.
Not a full sleep cycle eother.  A neep, slap?  Neep if I must.  Sam kept banging on the door.  They became too used to canned food.  I'll have to stop feeding them canned food at all until they start eating dry food again.  If they keep up the fuss, they will go into their transports overnight, with some food, water, and paper.

Blood sugar is down to 142.  Not great, but sure beats 202.  I'm preparing supper.  Pork roast, corn, and tea.  It'll go back up then go lower quickly, if history holds.  If I need a snack later, I'll have a small portion of popcorn.  Hmm, or peanuts.  Those and most nuts are good for blood sugar, as is a small portion of cttage cheese and canned unsweetened fruit.  I need to find other snacks.

It's rather chill tonight, which made getting the grill going difficult.  Another part was the gloom encroached making it difficult to see coal density.  There has to be enough to get a good glow but with enough room for air.  I can barely believe this is June.  Summer will get here, eventually.

Later.

The boat is getting "sea" trials.

.
.
The boss stopped by.  Wanted to borrow the inflatable canoe.  No worries.  I had to find bits and parts.  I have four seats, only three fit at a time.  But they are different types.  Paddles, air pump, anchor, and anchor rope were all rounded up.  I offered him one of my wetsuits, but it was too big.  Oh, the one life vest I have or could find went with.  I have other things, if I can find the items.  A screw-type beach tie-off, flashers for boat and crew, large and small dry sacks, just vicarious tackle and gear.  What they have should do.  I am dying to hear how she handles.  As I have mentioned, for me at least, life is about stories.  Though if she handles easily I'd like to go out with a small crew, then solo.  Perhaps on minor whitewater runs.  She can handle class III or IV white water, and I "swam" in worse.

Dinner was just so-so.  Not because food was bad, my body just wasn't interested in eating.  I have enough meat cooked for several days, if I can eat.

One other note.  I finally found Latin lessons with audio, which have better reviews and referrals.  So I ordered that.  I have other lessons but realized, without oral and written, and it being a dead language, I was headed nowhere fast on my own, or worse.  If I do well, Greek next.  It's for religion but has a multitude of uses, as well as being the mother of many languages and the grandmother, daughter, and aunt to others, including my own.  Veni, vidi, vici?  We'll see.  Or awkward.

A nap?  Yes.  This weather is killing me.  Either edging on too hot or crashing and taking me with it.  Later.

Up, going, slowly.

.
.
Blood sugar was ugly.  The first time north of two hundred in a while, if by just two points.  It was 122 last night, then I had nachos.  Cheese is carb free, chips said the were low carb.  I trust the cheese.  The chips not so much.  It wasn't even as if I ate much, say thirty chips max, more like half that.  Shredded cheese was the only topping, melted.  No more nachos.  Wow.  Or at least not with those chips.  Don't say it was corn.  I eat large portions of canned sweet without a glucose hiccup.  They must add sugar, hidden in there.  Perhaps there is a brand that doesn't.  Yeah, they mean to create diabetes.  It's down to 173.

It isn't even 60 F outside.  Yikes.  It's easily good enough for me, but it is tightening the growing season.  Amazing.  Partly cloudy, as has been the norm lately.

I've been good enough I am taking some risks.  I ordered 38 belts and several more 38 jeans.  Even the 40's I have are looking baggy.  The Cabela's jeans I loved are gone.  They have some others I may try.  I went with Duluth 5-pocket ballroom jeans (for exactly what that sounds like, room for), on sale.  More expensive still than old, similar to new Cabela's jeans.  I will give Cabela's new jeans a shot next month.  I just hope they didn't make them woman thin with Eddie Bauer queer (small) pockets.  Gah!  Duluth is good, if pricey.  Upper lefty blue collar, engineering to overpaid union type.  Snooty in it's own way, but... more doable than do-nothing sniveling academic snootiness.  I told you, I hate equally, mostly.

Pork is grilling.  Green beans too.  That and milk.  All good.  Lower and slower, in part because of the cool day.  Oh, the musical responses?  Manifold.  Immediate.  I may put up a montage, or two, or not.  Later.

Sometimes I do remember.

.
.
A dream reminded.  A love, a real one, more recent as far as it goes.

Rollercoaster ride.

.
.
Down around 5:00, up at 13:00.  My preferred sleep length, there is that.  Fasting blood sugar wasn't so good at 198.  BP and pulse were gooder(tm).  Anything in the 130's/100's and sub 90's pulse is considered superior, for now.  I may see about doubling,or nearly, carvedilol, and going back on losarten.  The former adds to exhaustion, the latter works but only some so is too expensive for self-pay.  At the better end of the bp/pulse range, five to ten points might really shine.

Dark, as yesterday, as it has been, mostly, for the last five days?  It makes it difficult to get going.  Though it's that or 80 F plus days.  Ugh.  I am going to try to find the number, to see about swimming.  As well, I'll set up the packages for return.  Probably not today if I'll push for tomorrow.  I need to do grocery and cat shopping tomorrow.  I got some dry, but need canned, more dry, and litter.  I like to keep well up, just in case I can't get out.

I finally got over busting my big toe, then I caught my small toe.  I so rarely hurt my feet, I guess it was time.  I thought the small toe had improved, then it started swelling again.  It'll... heal, in time.  It doesn't hurt, it just squeezes the other toes, mostly.  And doesn't fit in shoes, house shoes, or even socks, well.

A shower, shave, dishes, and packages?  Yes.  At 15:00 I'll take another blood test, then heat up the third of the steak I couldn't finish, plus green beans.  I need to boil eggs, because I can't keep up on frying, scrambling, etc.  Hmm, and potato salad would be super, only homemade.  They dump sugar, one way or another, in every plant and store processed potato salad.  Then lie about it.  The blood test unveils the deception.

Hmm?  Best feed the girls before I get sliced, yelled at (more), or just voted of the island.  Good day.

Up too late.

.
.
I was hoping to see blood sugar drop, well, before going to bed.  And it finally did.  Down to 137 anyway.  I pushed it, in every way today.  Eventually, even simply by happenstance, I won't.  And I won't in vast majority regularity... when I am not looking.  And then maintenance will be vastly easier.  While watching a teapot come to a boil won't actually stop the intention, observing phenomena, especially when one's self is involved, may well have an contrary effect.

I have noticed an odd thing.  I am not absolute about a direct link.  I am exploring it.  If I stay up until my blood sugar comes down, I do better, generally, the next day.  It isn't a perfect fit, but it seems probable, mostly.  Worth a shot, especially on days I push things, for whatever reason(s).  Win, lose, or draw, tomorrow I will have more data.

A good bad boy.

.
.
Today was mostly shopping.  From cat food to charcoal, weed spray, a new sprinkler, etc., and returning a package.  The boss drove.  Only things not found were various smaller sprinkler heads and drip line hoses.  I have several returns to make, so can look at another store.  Three bags of charcoal has lasted me a year, but I am using it more.  Even so, especially in the summer it has many values attached to the small price.

Another surprise.

.
.
BP isn't great, the left arm gave me a still ugly but better reading.  I just took medicine, perhaps that is the problem?  My blood sugar, several hours after my second meal read 122.  Which... I wasn't sure.  So I just took another reading, 111.  Crazy, but I will take it.  That is absolutely amazing.  Fasting really does work for me.  Now, if I pay attention, fast multiple days occasionally, do day fasting as a usual, I may be able to... fix some issues. I am not guaranteeing I am cured, yet.  I simply believe I will get there, soon, if not.

I did finish the garage.  One corner was too much.  The rest was emptied, swept down and out, then everything put back in better order.  Far from perfect if much better.  Backing in was much easier, more room and easier to see.  It wore me out, which is good.  The boss did stop by just to plan.  He had an event tonight, after work.  Tomorrow.  Early in the day, morning.

I best get to sleep.  Oh, packages to be returned tomorrow.  Good night.

Two concerns with no stones.

.
.
Blood sugar dropped after the meal.  From 171 to 191 while fasting, then to 122 after my meal.  How crazy is that?  I'll take it.  Then my mother called.  She found the missing packages.  They left them at a door she never uses.  That was about to turn into a real hassle.  The other thing, that actually did go missing, is covered.  Ugh.  That woman and packages.

I started in on the garage but fell down on the job.  I have some things out.  I don't need the push mower or push snowblower anymore.  The engines and parts could be useful.  Perhaps to run a grainmill?  Though there are other things.  I can't get a well, if I am not sure those would work, save as emergency... not really meant for that heavy of use.  Who knows.  Probably a bit small for gocart engines?  Just tinker thinking.

Not sure what tonight.  Not sure he will be back.  I may sweep some, then put it all back.  Another meal is planned.  Just a small steak and one glass of milk.  I can't believe the blood sugar.  Odd how it worked.  Later.  Perhaps good night.

Looking into the eyes of Doom.

.
.
I wasn't curious.  Until I saw what videos popped.  I asked for a few details, suggested a general notion.  I keep things benign in... certain company.  Not for my wellbeing.  Fragile, but not I.  Not now that I am awake, aware, and immune to gaslighting.  Even so, I think they see beyond what science says will be there.  Difficult for most to look into my alien eyes, but to plumb their depths is to court the unkown.

Down late.

.
.
Could not get to bed.  The cold front, storm, whatever, seems to have parked here.  I don't think that is the problem.  It is better a bit cool.  Stuck, unable to gain traction.  And had to eat last night.  Fasting blood sugar was up to 171 fasting, then continued to rise, at 191 now, while still fasting.  I am not up to much more fasting.  Smaller meals though, and closer together.  For now.  Forgot morning bp, currently 130/102 p. 78.

A steak, small one, half a can of vegetables, and a small portion of pears and cottage cheese, with tea.  A second meal of just a small steak, three hours after the main meal, is the plan.  I suspect you have to feed, sometimes, to get it to adust.  I ate the last third of the bigger steak and half potato left over from supper.  I am a bit surprised it jacked blood sugar as it did.

Back to real time is it.  True, but not starting on a Monday and a short week for it.  I best get some things done.  Later.

Snack!

.
.
While another full meal seemed too much, a snack seemed possible.  Another blood check, to see if blood sugar had continued to rise.  Nope, down to 124.  An eight ounce (liquid) container of unshelled salted peanuts.  It handled hunger well enough.  An hour and change later, and blood sugar is up to 128.  Not a bad rise.  Still hungry, just not painfully so.  I will need to experiment with various snack items.  Home popped popcorn is good, and pretty much all I can eat, from what I have seen so far, salted and buttered.  Herbed and buttered probably then as well.

I'm not up to going to town.  Still a bit green about the gills.  Premeal blood sugar is now averaging 136 for the week.  I... just don't think my body is used to that, or the lower bp and pulse.  Actually, that I am on meds, and the weather cooled with no sun for the last few days?  I'm doing well to be able to stay awake and on meds.  I am doing very well for having every major negative active.

I have another change.  I will be aiming to take night medicines earlier, say around 18:00.  I am curious to see if this will have a readable reduction in blood pressure before going to bed.  Perhaps that will shift things down before sleep, improving things.  At this point, while I can check so regularly, I might as well experiment.  Optimizing systems, programs, techniques, when raw data and processing power is available improves function when forced to coast.

Weight, again, was 255.  If I can keep blood sugar down, and continue to work, especially adding swimming, I... think losing serious weight won't be a problem.  Then again I have lost thirty and gained some muscle.  I just can't push too hard until I lose more.  But I can do some.  Yeah.

Good night.

A major crash nap.

.
.
It wasn't the food, it was the end of the fast.  My body simply isn't used to low blood sugar.  It had risen to 111 before eating anything.  I couldn't stay awake long enough after dinner to get that read.  But after three to four hours down, it is 133.  Good enough, but not good enough for a second meal within daily fasting.  A second meal will require a blood sugar of 110, or rarely 120 if it is needed, but within four hours after the first meal.  BP was best from the right arm, at 127/93 pulse 93.

Headache.  I had the door shut, it gets warm and stuffy.  Should have had the ac going.  If I can get going, I will get a shower and go to town.  Dry catfood.  I'd also like to hit dishes, and buy disposable cups.  I just can't keep up.  Which, in part, is why I am grilling.  If that has the side benefit of flavor, general ease, and keeping the indoors cool.  Ugh, aspirin might help kick the aches enough to get going sooner.

Steak.  Quite good.  Broth first, to ease out of the fast.  I don't salt broth while making it, so do need to add some.  It is never as salty as store bought, by taste or beyond.  Add a bit of fresh cracked pepper and even less salt is needed, same with cream.  It was a good meal, if it took a long time to eat it.  As mentioned, I had already begun falling before eating anything.

Well, on to waking and maybe to town.  Walmart is probably open.  For the lame, Walmart is a treasure.  May you never understand having no control over your schedule most of the time.  I have been lucky, and aimed my appointments well.  That... won't hold.  Then again, I have still missed an appointment and had to change an half a dozen.  Yeah, they really help the mostly dead.

Later.

Surprise.

.
.
Didn't end up going to bed as early as planned, and had trouble falling to sleep.  Which was part of why I didn't bother going to bed earlier.  Even so I was up an hour or two earlier than what was, is?, becoming normal.  Up by 8:00.  I'd like to keep that, roll it back some if possible, unlikely as that is.  Sleep was good.  Dreamed of catching a wildcat.  Then I wasn't so sure.  I think it is supposed to work that way?

Fasting blood sugar usually goes up.  Fasting, this time... or just because.  A new record fasting blood sugar low 92.  BP isn't great, if it isn't really high, at 159/108 p. 73.  I like that pulse at almost half the highest I've seen it.

Yes, I'll break my fast today, but later.  I'll check blood around noon, then have broth, perhaps then prep for the steak and vegetable(s) plus milk.  While it isn't too low, it is getting there.  The goal now is to only eat what it takes to maintain 80 to 100, +40.  Don't eat again until the blood sugar is + or - 10 of 100 again.  This is were I will really begin learning foods.  Sometimes I will overeat, that will fix itself as it will require extended fasting.  And, sometimes, just because, it will go stupid for no good reason.  A lot of moderation will be required.

I suppose I know why docs don't just say it.  Most people can't do it.  Not sure I can.  It is merely the plan.  *gurgle*  The innards sure whine and rumble when not fed regularly.

Later.

Not much.

.
.
Bone broth.  About a cup, with nearly that much water, a pinch of salt, and a tablespoon or two of whole cream.  My blood sugar was at 105.  An hour, now two later, and blood sugar went from 109 to 110.  My guess it will only go down, if I were to stay up.  Fasting blood sugar is often the highest number of the day.  If, perhaps, as my body changes, it begins to do things differently.  Oh, and the broth was just fine.  And I can gladly live with the mild increase in blood sugar .  I didn't need it, I was merely curious and with blood sugar finally good it seemed like a good time to take a risk.

I may or may not fast tomorrow.  Either way I will have another serving of broth and cream.  I think I will have a steak tomorrow though.  Steak might sound difficult to break a fast with, but it depends on the steak.  Lean, yes, fatty, no.  Or, from my experience.

To bed early tonight.  No goofing tonight.  Right after this post, medicine, and brushing teeth.  It doesn't mean I will wake early, though I do have that hope.  Good night.

Hungry.

.
.
It is a good thing.  While fasting, at least the first few days or during single days, hunger pains mean deprivation.  For me, it is precisely what is desired, required.  On some days it is more difficult.  Knowing, possibly smelling, barbecuing adds levels of complexity.  Oblations, as I have noted.  Actually, given my station, and the day, some might suggest the sacrifice is partly in my honor.  Oblations indeed.  A closer walk too...

Blood sugar went up, to 131.  A bit frustrating.  It will work out.  It went up right before, or as, the hunger hit.  It must be connected.  I sensed something, but can't say if it was hunger, not quite.  If I am sure it ended becoming hunger.  Oh, of all the weekends to fast.  Perhaps this is a better one.  And Monday is a null day too, right?  That'll get me three fasting days without losing a business day.  If I can keep to it.

Out of dry catfood.  Yeah, the carnivorous squirrels are protesting the man.  The man, especially while fasting, is having none of it.  I am giving them extra canned and treats but not taking any grief.  Things have settled a bit.  It is overcast.  More rain seems probable.  High sixties.  All good.  Oh, I missed this.  But I do have a smaller flag. I'd like to get it mounted for the fourth.  I may start figuring out a big flag and pole, both fed and state, for in a year or two... buying things in parts if necessary.  I can have at least a smaller one this year, out on display more too.

I might not trust my government, all my fellow citizens, or the VA, etc., fully, always, but I consider myself fully and solidly American.  The flag is important.  I will display it.  Then again I don't believe we are supposed to trust blindly.  That is what separates Americans from the rest of the world, which seems to all be choosing to be third worlders.

Later.

Down later than expected.

.
.
I just... couldn't go down, or rember to go in?  It gets fuzzy at the end of my days.  Sleep was good but the body is still cranky everywhere.  Up at 9:30.  Muscles and joints are paining anyway. My organs haven't given grief in a goodly while.  Headaches, other than muscle types, have gone extinct.  Still, battering every muscle group has it's costs, if it also has benefits.  Hurting organs have no health benefits, zilch.

Readings were slightly better.  Blood sugar is 127.  BP is 136/110, p 82.  My right arm was 147/101 p. 81.  Better and worse, I suppose it just has to go stupid from time to time.  I think that is my lowest fasting blood sugar.  If blood sugar hits 80 or less, I eat.  Nothing sugary, or added sugar.  Unsweetened fruit and cottage cheese would work, though so would steak, small one, an half incher.  If fasting, a smaller amount, just enough, if more frequent checks.  Although it could end up breaking the fast.  I don't anticipate it going that low, just set out guidelines in advance.  You never know.

Bloody nose is back, but much lighter.  Actually my blood sugars are slipping up this week averages over last week.  Before meal and all averages slipped up, while after meal averages are down... just a few points either way, so... no major issue yet.  Oh, best hit medicine.  I have only missed about three medtimes since seeing my local doc.  Yeah, bp and chatter got me back to it.  More chatter since too.

It did rain.  I need to get a rain gauge.  Age brings more weather curiosity?  It looks rather dry, so either it was dry and 'ate' the water or we didn't get much.  I heard it, but was so zapped I have no notion of length or severity, or time(s).

Still sore, achy in some areas, but satisfied.  I hope to push this week too.  Might hit the garage this week.  Install the bench grinder and vice, order things, and clean.  Insulating, adding interior walls, and adding a lock to the door would be good or in time, then maybe a propane heater for there and the front rooms.  Eventually, getting a sub panel out there, and a garage door opener, would be awesome.

Always more.  Money, money, money though too.  Actually slowly getting things done around here though.  Later.

Not much today.

.
.
I don't always like that.  Today I didn't mind.  I needed the rest.  Little music, only some gaming, mostly drifting through the Internet, which seems to be closing shop.  News is mostly going left, only a few blogs hanging on, probably going to use the EU to shut of more sites.

No, not much.  Still working with the bloody nose.  Since the nap, perhaps before.  It just won't stop.  I will end up going to bed with it.  Blood sugar is finally down, to 136.  BP has remained middling all day.  All readings have dipped about 10 off their highs.  I missed morning meds, but those are water pills.  I can miss those occasionally without fuss.  I do like having my pulse down, 145 is crazy, 82 is doable.

Even with the nap I am going down earlier tonight.  I am hoping to wake much earlier too, but it often doesn't work that way.  Good night.

A good nap.

.
.
Started at 15:00-15:30, going to 18:00?  A bit long but well needed.  I've pushed my body hard this week.  Two days, perhaps three, of work, then two days of driving long spells, and the emergency room.  The nap eased some of the soreness and stiffness.  The neck is up to 65% or so?  I must have slept exactly wrong on it and not moved that night.

I called my mother, but she didn't answer, before napping.  She probably didn't answer.  Called after the nap and she was there.  She has a cousin and his girl type friend over, putting a new grill together.  Not enough nuts and bolts, poor instructions... another life in the day.  Still, I am certain it will work out.  I caught them just as they were taking a break before heading to the hardware store.  My bet is someone is getting fed from the grill tonight too.  Just good to check in from time to time.

My blood sugar isn't tops today.  Yes, fasting.  It was 199 fasting, 198 before the nap, and 160 after the nap.  Fasting today, tomorrow, and maybe Monday.  I would like to make more bone broth.  That... and sometimes raw whole cream... helps with fasting, in small amounts, rarely.  Plus it offers a softer exit food when coming off a multi day fast.  I may still have some, if it's still good.  Only one way to find out.

BP is 156/106 p. 85.  Once a day, now, I measure both arms.  The left has always been five to ten points shy of the right, on most readings.  The pulses are normalizing to each other, almost.  I tried left arm first, then switched to see if there was psychology involved.  While not definitive, as observing may have an affect, I am satisfied that the left arm provides a lower real reading.  Still, one random reading a day, variously first, I take a reading from each arm.  Oh, and I figured out how to set the date and time and use the memory function on the contraption.  Good, good.

I've got a monster of a bloody nose.  Probably weather related.  Storms, if usually though not always big or powerful ones, will, can, do it.

It looks like rain might be arriving, or just a dust storm?  A little rain would be good.  More, if not extended, would be better.

Later, probably.  If you don't read from me in a few hours?  Wait longer.

Ouch. Good signs.

.
.
What isn't stiff is stiff and sore.  My whole body is tight, like a giant knot.  From my waste up those knots are taught to pain.  Except my neck, if that still doesn't have full mobility, is rather taught.  Improving.  Now, both the stiffness and pain are precisely what are desired.  And a sort of hollowness, as if my body is partly insubstantial.  I can't explain it better, but if you have ever been in at least coached athletics at even the highschool level, and you actually applied yourself, you know this.  If you lived for things in that range, you might know that humble beat-down sense for years at a time.  Or so it seemed.  Being in top-flight shape is NOT about feeling "good".  It's about always hurting, up to and including injury, but carrying on quietly, ably.

I couldn't sleep until, perhaps, 1:00.  I woke at 9:30.  I was a bit too sore to sleep.  Which is fine.  Readings aren't great, but were taken and recorded.  Not great?  Compared with what?  Other people, true... myself over the last few months, false.  Fasting today.  If help shows, he might get a steak.  Thawed but fasting, don't want to risk that meat going bad.  Fasting, and mostly resting today and tomorrow.

Ah, another good sign.  I grabbed a shirt, for over my T-shirt, yesterday.  While I don't go all in dapper, I do attempt some civility.  Anyway it fit almost loose.  If it was an 2xl tall... it still meant I had lost.  If it was the single extra large tall... it meant I lost a lot of size.  Last time I tried that size, it didn't fit well by itself so definitely wouldn't have worked with a t-shirt.  It bugged me all day yesterday.  I was so flat when I returned I forgot to check.  Just now, yep, the single extra large, and easily over the t-shirt.  Shoulders probably exempt me from just a large, but I may be headed towards fitted!

I need to go to a good clothier.  I am way out of what had been my dress clothes.  By, say, six to eight sizes... no taking that much in.  Slacks, even shirts.  Oddly, the neck is the same... plus stiff.  ;p  I looked like a hobo or clown last time I tried to dress up, with enough extra material I could also have passed for a landbased sailing vessel.  A pair of slacks or two, an inexpensive intermediate suit, a couple of dress shirts, and maybe belts or suspenders.  I like loose shirts but there are serious limits.

On to a slow day.  Never did fold laundry or do dishes.  Without else, those should be easy enough.  If the boss shows today?  Some work in the garage and living room.  If not, just rest and light duty.  Cheers.

Another trip to the VA.

.
.
The eye doc this time.  I let them dilate my eyes.  They really like looking into my eyes.  Another appointment in a few months.  Oh, this time I wrote what information I needed, then checked it with the prescription.  They weren't going to give me some measurement, which I only got through insistence.  I wonder if the forget, or mean to forget... don't want us shopping around?  No worries.  I am ordering a pair, maybe two if cheap enough, soon.  I'd like several bifocal and several plain, for now.

I keep trying to figure out rush hours.  If I don't leave about two hours early, I always end up late.  If I leave even just an half hour early, I will be late.  Now, when I leave way early?  I arrive very early.  It doesn't seem to matter when my appointment is.  Annoying, I suppose it just is what it is.

Blood sugar is 138.  I am about to eat.  Yes, it is Friday.  But with the work yesterday and driving today, I need food.  Perhaps I can fast tomorrow.  BP, 132/102 p. 96.  Not too shabby.

Neck is getting better.  I work it when I can.  Doesn't hurt on the outside as it had.  Still have very limited range of movement, if vastly better.  Driving was that much more of a chore.  Still, did it.  Later, or good night.

Well, that was a serious work day.

.
.
It wasn't just what was done, it was the heat, the neck cramp, not really being up to work, the combination of those things, and maybe more.  Working the other day, even bits the day before.  It adds up.  Oh, I got a shower but no laundry folded.  The shower was divine.  Helped the neck too, a bit.  The neck is improving, but still required aspirin last night and this morning.  You should know how much I hate pills by now.  If I can, I would usually much rather suffer.  That just isn't an option.

BP reading was 142/101 p. 83.  Meh.  But resting blood sugar was 164!  I even had an ice cream cone yesterday.  The pulse is what used to be my normal, always a bit fast... a hummingbird heartbeat, especially for a giant.  But the blood sugar has me excited.  I really need to get swimming going.  Medicine taken, tea, and waking now.

I am feeling it today.  I definitely did some work yesterday.  Nothing stands out and yet pretty much every muscle group got hit.  It's like an aura of sensation, a warm glow.  I remember this!  I used to have this almost all of the time, only much more intensely.  Not warm, hot, always.  Radiant, women could feel it from me, it... they liked it, a lot.  Wanted to get closer, moths to a flame, I said to more than one, with a terrible grin. Such odd memories.

Today.  Some scheduled events?  I'll... figure it out when I wake.  Later.

A goodly bit more.

.
.
Even with help, the rest of the processing was quite a chore.  I did some branching, but took over the chainsaw when that came out.  While he went to branching and loading, I made it half way through cutting the logs into usable sized parts.  He had to go do pipes, farming watering pipes.  He suggested he would be back, so an half hour into his believed hour of work I put potatoes in.  A quarter hour later I started the grill.  The grill had to bet lit twice, then a lower cooking platform had to be used.

On his return, we gathered the last branches to go to the town receptacle.  I had, after a break, finished with the chainsaw, put the logs in a wheelbarrow, scratched the rest of the debris into a pile ready to add to the rest, then put the chainsaw up.  We got that in and all of it deposited.  Then got the ac in the window upstairs, ate, then gave Sassy her minor trim.  I think he liked pork grilled.  He left with an empty plate and blankening stare.

My neck is still rough.  I didn't see any swelling.  I keep taking aspirin as possible.  Working heavily has loosened it up a bit, and numbed me too.  If it is still bothering me I will bring it up at the VA.  The cost for private oncology(?) is out of my league, or even ent.  Hopefully it just goes away.

I think everything on my list was hit, save dishes and a shower.  I am hoping a break will get me in shape to shower then finish folding laundry.  Yeah, I worked today.  With some help, and push, I am doing solid work, if only a few days a week and only a few hours a day.  And... in 38 jeans.  Hell's yeah.  If it doesn't kill me it'll... cripple me.  ;p

Later, or good night.  Hmm, I'll take medicine now, so I don't forget.  Readings can hang if I crash.  Priorities.

Not everything and all of each, but I am getting there.

.
.
The only things that haven't been done at all are dishes and a shower.  I did start late.  I haven't completely finished the wood, but there was a lot more than appearances indicated.  And size was deceiving.  I did get an half of the branches parted, all major branches off the trunks, and all the groups into their own stacks... mostly... to all of those.  Ran plumb out of steam.

At least I couldn't do more of that.  I was able to transplant one of the horseradish plants.  Watering it in well and giving the asparagus a sip while at it.  If it is doing well in a week I may move the other bulb over.  Wasn't willing to risk both of the last two of four roots.  Then I watered the remaining root still in the big planter.  Didn't need much before draining.  Still, may have disturbed it when removing the other, and just because.  Be good to your growy things, green or not.

Oh?  Oh!  I blindly grabbed a pair of jeans from the stack.  I have 44's down to 38's.  I thought I'd be getting a 42.  They, especially, are whatfor belts.  But no, 38's.  I... almost put it back.  Me ego can be a fragile little petunia.  I have, once, since I bought it during a weight loss streak, been able to put them on, to and including buttoning and zipping, but not functionally wearing them.  Man corset things just don't fly.  Still, curious.

I got a leg in.  Almost a sign.  Seemed rather close though.  Then the other leg in.  Okay, tighter.  Is anyone else conditionally claustrophobic?  Was it the jeans, though, or history, memory?  What if I get them on but can't get them off!  The top button through?  Good.  Good!  Zipper... yep.  But, can I move, or more importantly breath?  Yes, and... yes!  It looks tight but I was able to work well enough in them.

I won't claim the size just yet.  I can wear them today, but is today a skinny day?  I am sure it isn't a fat day.  It could be a middle day.  Whatever else it is it is two definite things.  It is exciting and it is incentive.  The goal is a 34 waste.  Only four more sizes, down from 44's or 46's, I was pushing one of those two when I moved here.  It's getting there, if I look fatter in 38's than 44's.  Bleh.

After this and a break, I'll crack on dishes, perhaps do some laundry, maybe hit the wood pile again... going to need the chainsaw for some of it.  The shower will have to wait until the end of the day.  I did get medicine, midday reads, and then an oatmeal lunch.  Not great, just... just.  I'll be taking an after meal blood test shortly.  Curious how oatmeal, old fashioned, does... a cup of dry, then cooked, with about a cup of milk. - After three hours, bloos sugar is up 10 over premeal.

Well, on to my break.  Later.

A bit of a ugly thing already... so far.

.
.
Hmm?  Oh, the day, younglings.  I woke late, a quarterish to nine.  Going to bed well past midnight makes it fair, if still late on a localized timeline... mostly, barely?  As well, my neck is still knotted.  Either I have a charliehorse in there, or a gland problem.  I am definitely hoping for a muscle problem, which it probably is.  Hurts a lot to swivel in any direction, even swallow.  I had to take aspirin just to begin working it, in an attempt to open it up.  The pain is inside, and out, of my body.  It centers on the right side of my neck where my jawline meets the neck proper, actually an inch into and below the jawline.  Not a good spot.  Although also exactly where a kink would form from looking at the tv while gaming too long.  Which... yeah.

As for readings.  Not the worst, or best.  I am hoping to be up to fasting this weekend.  That would help some, maybe all.  Especially if I can do Friday through to eating Monday.  In time, with potassium back in the queue, I'd really like to try five or six days.  I'm betting three weeks wouldn't be bad.  It is figuring what foods to get back to after.  What I have been told is false, much of it.  Potatoes are fine, as are most vegetables and at my serving sizes.  Steak and lamb are excellent.  Milk is at least okay, if volume is more of an issue, though with each item and all combined.  Smaller bites.  Still, learning foods, if no reason not to cocurrently explore fasting, which more importantly enhances a good spiritual life, makes the walk with God a bit... more pleasant in an odd way.  Oblations, alone, as all Father receives and the while, add even greater togetherness.

Today?  Wought is this today business?  :p  Well, I'll do dishes, fold the laundry, replant one or both horseradish plants, process limbs and the small trees, take a shower, and... be ready for work and dinner later.  Putting ac upstairs, removing wood, maybe work on the gutters... oh, and trimming the last bramble on Sassy 's back.  She has gotten much better at taking care, just a little help from time to time.

For dinner?  Just a butt roast, pork, potatoes, carrots, milk, and maybe cottage cheese and pears?  Yeah.  He has had my main foods, grill regulars, save pork and lamb.  Even my chicken is good, if I remember TO NEVER BUY CHICKEN (OR SEAFOOD) ON MARKDOWN!!!  Sale, yes... but look, smell, check dates.  Chicken is not... times out almost before the sell date, definitely by flavor/texture.  Time crunch sale?  Never.  I have two packages in the freezer I'll be throwing Sunday.  Actually, they aren't bad, just not tasty.  I ought to see if a neighbor might want some for a dog.  I'm no dog hater.

By feel, no swelling on the neck, or heat.  I'll look in a bit.  Tea and medicine, plus waking.  Oh, I realized how to explain what my conditions collude toward, summed, while dreaming.  The dream was sorting symptoms, as if discussing with myself, others, the universe.  It would be as if superman came from earth and went to Krypton.  Just barely able to survive, in a gravity field at least multiples higher than that of my original home.  I can never fully rest because I am always being squeezed, even while I sleep.  Always, everyday, every moment.  Torture.  I know that.  And, still, I have learned to love even this life, to abide and thrive in suffering, and to cherish hope in my life and for others who suffer.

It's STILL a ugly day.  ;p

Later.

Not much.

.
.
I made lunch, am heating up the grill for supper.  Ribeyes, corn, potato, and milk for lunch.  I was going to just have steak, but my blood sugar was 170 for no good reason, so I went all in.  Phuc eet.  Checking premeal, it is 130?  Yeah, bigger hammer.  Tonigh I am having lamb chops and snapped green beans.  I took bp earlier, but forgot to record it.  It was 141/94 p. 92, or so.  Mostly.  Currently it read 150/99 p. 85... left arm was 10/10 and 5 lower than right arm so I took it.  Doctors and nurses do it all the time, and use the other arm if it reads lower.

I dug holes to transplant horseradish into, cooked, got laundry going again, and did a few odds and ends.  It's a dark day, partly to all cloudy.  It is warming, if not at great speed.  I am so used to the low 70's now, that as it cools for the night, from nearly 72 inside, I almost catch a chill.  When it jumps to the 80's and 90's, I'll be a low dog again. For now all good.

I may try to do the dishes tonight, and finish what laundry there is.  It isn't a lot, but it would be something.  Got a pull in my neck, along the right side.  Bad enough I took a handful of aspirin.  It isn't helping.  Oh, medicine.  I've been doing that, well, if I sort of already almost mostly had been.  Just a bit better.  Brushing, showering, meds, general care, on to more work, with swimming soon.  I may see if the VA would cover that.  They offered once.  Maybe even help with pedicures.  If something will go first, it is the feet.  One major issue, and just the specialist visit would be more than a lifetime of pedicures.

I am going either way.  A health go getter helps them do their job.  The worst they can say is no.  And, if I keep up on readings and logging, it'll show... interest.  Yeah, I'll let them help me, now that I don't feel so boxed in by them.  I will not give up private care, entirely, ever again.  As to sharing info?  Other than medicines, and only if my Doc wishes it.  The VA can be a real mess, even danger, to work with.  They have good points and bad, but are Juggernaut Legion if they go against you.

Someone has been digging deep, far, long.  The harder nuggets of music.  Some of them.  I have to guess, by the nature of what surfaced, they have some zeroes in some areas.  They didn't show up on blogger, which tells me they are still cutting my hits, drastically.  Unless the purveyors are system spies, or turncoats.  I'd love to think I will help gut the politically left big tech one freed, ball dropping mind at a time.  Women?  Useless.  But the ones worth the price of admission will find, not where the boys are but, where real men are.  Let them keep the cat broads.

Hmm?  Dinnertime.  Good night.  Oh.  I'll put up the batch of tunes tomorrow.  Or later?

Work makes sleep pay?

.
.
I think so.  Down right at 22:00, up right at 7:00.  Still tired, if that is why it is called morning.  They just dropped the "u" to try to convince us it is a good, or better, time.  Dreamed.  Funerals.  The last was the most difficult.  My mother makes a wonderful and terrible mourner.  No more details, just in case.  Though, if it will, it will.

Resting blood sugar is 198.  Morning bp 141/101 is and pulse is 77.

Today?  Stuff.  Well, limb processing.  Perhaps work on the gutter system.  Dishes, shower, laundry, and getting packages ready to go.  I should have something to eat while at it.  I am not eating much or well, if I need to try.  I may also dig holes to transplant the horseradish.  As well, water the starts just a bit again.  Unless it is raining, or has.

All good.  Later.

Just a bit more.

.
.
I wrangled garden hose around, to water what has been planted.  Not a lot, just five minutes or so.  I will have a lot of asparagus.  Probably a ton of jerusalem artichokes too.  Horseradish?  Probably enough for a village.  Hopefully this year I will harvest some of all, if not everything.  Asparagus should be ready in 2020.  Advertised to be ready next year, I'd rather let it have another year... probably.

A few other minor chores while out.  Sam sure enjoys the company.  But does she have to express her incredulity EVERY time I step out?  :p  It is starting to look like someone lives here.  I am hoping to get the limbs processed and hit the eves again.  If the compressor does well enough I may not need water.  We'll see.  If I can do those, then hauling wood out and installing ac, perhaps transplanting one horseradish plant... both?

After popcorn, blood sugar rose to 180.  Couldn't eat much.  Hungry yet not.  Took blood pressure before meds, 160/11 p. 86.  I'm staying up just a bit to see if meds have a quick affect.  I just don't know how fast that works.  I created a little note book of printer paper.  I have been trying both arms.  No difference so I haven't been adding the second reading.  I'll check again, now, after an half hour.  No later, bed is calling.  147/102 p. 87 - maybe, or just falling to sleep

Good night.

Only an hour?

.
.
Glad for the help I can get.  The gutters weren't what I thought.  Rather than trays, the back porches are panels, from upper roof overhangs angled down and out several feet, then more to aluminum end pieces which roughly channels water out.  We couldn't just scrape all out.  The air compressor was used.  May need to spray water, let it dry, then use the compressor again.  Once it is cleaned to metal, it should clean easier every year or two.  I'll take responsibility on this one.  It took years to just figure out my lawn, remember.

After, or while the compressor was charging/recharging, we planted the rest of the asparagus.  While late and stunted, asparagus is growing into the old patch too.  I will have more asparagus than... I don't know!  Lots of it.  All good, if I am worn.  The sort of tired I like.  If I do anything else today, it will be inside, light, and little.  Maybe or not.

I would like to get packages ready for return, hit just what dishes are ready once then reset, see what laundry is doing, and maybe a shower.  I am pleased with today.  I have even started organizing.  Work gloves, goggles, knee and elbow pads, all go in one of the small tool duffles.  From now on, things will be finding their places, especially toolwise... or, actually, everything.  It's been going that way for a bit.

Dinner?  I am almost hungry.  Maybe just popcorn.  I did take morning medicine, blood sugar, but forgot bp.  I'll take it after I rest.  Blood sugar is 160.  Medicine and readings for certain tonight.  Later.
--------------
BP 144/92 Pulse 91 - Gooder(tm)

Not a bad start.

.
.
It took a while to start.  Closing on 15:00?  Anyway, mowing is done, the sprinklers are roughly set, if there are only two areas to be watered.  Still, set up for as needed and more.  As well, I have branches in a pile, for easy processing when I get to that.  No need to weed whip today, as I see things.

Oh a visitor with an offer, and I with homework for him.  Eggs?  Yes, already.  Duck eggs?  Absolutely!  As well as chicken eggs.  Do you have any idea of the rarity?  I have honestly dreamed of these, never really thought...  Yes, yes indeed.  And thank you.  As to homework?  Iron sights.  He gets to set those up.  Give a man an assignment, then he isn't just along for the ride.  Invested.  I'll do the scope.  Need to do my own homework.

I have begun researching spotting scopes.  Sure, Swarkovski.  Sure, $$$$$, plus tax, title, shipping, etc.  I've found an $800 I like.  Now to find as close to it for half, give or take a bill.  As close as possible.  Not for real soon, if maybe by fall.  It's the only way to fly.  A bit of a break, then I'll see.  Later.

Down late, up late.

.
.
It makes obvious sense.  All the driving and fuss yesterday wrung me out too much to sleep.  I think it was 3:00 when I was finally able to sleep and 9:30 or 10:30 when I woke.  Fasting blood sugar was 201.  I ate at Red Robins, then had a roast beef meal on the way home.  Is RR going downhill?  Though, even cooking burgers, myself, when I knew all was as good as it gets... and the burgers tasted... just like RR's.  I wondered if it's a bad time to buy burger, if my taste buds are off.  Mushy, mealy, old.  Or... It's me.  So if it is the meat, it seems universal.  If it is me, it is ongoing.

The waiter was way too gay for my tolerances.  He, wisely, understood, dialed it way back, understood who was paying, did his job sufficiently, and was properly enumerated.  Would have preferred the delicious blond, even with tatts.  And, yes, she would have gotten more.  Still, keep your problems to yourself, do your damn job, and I'll be fair(ish).

It's dark.  At least partly cloudy, last I looked?  Just waking, didn't check the whole sky.  Will check to see if it is dry enough to mow in a bit.  If I can, that.  Maybe weed whipping, perhaps branch and actually small tree parcelling.  Then, later, a few odd light jobs.  If everything is wet, I'll hit it on a sunnier day.  Perhaps do indoor work.

I've had three packages go missing from amazon lately.  One here, two to my mother.  Mother's Day was a bit anemic, if she got the big present but more seemed happy that I even remembered.  I'm not sure what is up.  Having to use reviews as the other request systems require I return... something.  If I didn't get anything how can I return something.  Required to return what wasn't received.  Hoping to get this sorted.  It happens, but usually very rarely.

Oh, well.  On with the day shortly.  Good morning, still, here, barely, and good day.

A long day.

.
.
A dental appointment.  Turned into an E.R. visit.  B.P. was 188/118.  Pulse at 145.  I told them that IS better.  No telling some people.  To the principal's office I went.  After a while, on my own, it dropped to 141/91 with a pulse of 108.  Or... so it seemed.  Whatever.  Yeah, I get it.  But I have been doing better on meds.  It really IS down, a lot.  That's a nearly 40 point drop.  It had been 224/126, if I didn't catch the pulse.

A stern talking-to, again.  Didn't my other doc...  Collusion...  Rigged...  I'm not even smoking in the boy's room anymore... or... anywhere else.  They finally let me go, just in time for the traffic crush.  No major problem.  I even ordered potassium today, picked it up on my way home.  All else is good.

I hope to mow, then set up the sprinklers tomorrow.  Perhaps handle some branch processing.  That would leave room for cleaning gutters, planting the new asparagus, and putting in the new ac unit.  I'll be buying another one this coming month, perhaps another after that, also this coming month or next.

I'll keep at it.  Days are days again.  I best use them as possible.  I did pick up packages at the post AND finally got utilities paid, with checks out for a year signed sealed and delivered.  If I can get to it again, I'll do another year.  It's the only way I can keep up.  Was only a month and change late.  I even got trash out, then brought the bin back before leaving.  I wouldn't want to eat from it, but if forced, it doesn't stink, other than that plastic smell.

Oh, yes.  I did well today.  I even flirted up a dozen birds.  Dames are screwy.  Which... has it's advantages, especially for Louies.  :p  Made one guy so jealous somehow he split with a huff.  Hadn't even started working the room.  It's just dames were including me in his discussions, with nothing but a glance from my way.  Good night.

Monday? Why?

.
.
Why indeed.  Because, I believe, is the correct answer.

Fasting blood sugar is 192.  Not all my fault.  Actually I couldn't eat much supper, or lunch.  It isn't about consumption.  My body, as a device, is ooc, not working.  I can eat, a bit, but it just sits there.  My body isn't working.  It isn't fully disabling currently, it does slow things down.  I'm not sure what the root cause is, or if it is a group of smaller things.  I really suspect, at this time, it is the body.  It doesn't seem to matter if it is warm or cold.

I am sort of back on medicine.  I miss a bit much, not too much for a restart.  But this doesn't feel like medicine.  Weather is beginning to switch to summer, but not in fast large volleys.  This has been one of the tamer springs, if colder, in memory.  It actually helps.  Something is just wrong, not terribly, just annoyingly.

A shower, shortly.  Tea, after an half hour... to let the mouth wash do it's thing.  Oh, perhaps getting trash out, and getting the checks going for utilies.  Yeah.  Perhaps mowing this morning, before a shower?  Some will be done, some not.  Looks to be turning into a good day.  Later.

Can't fast.

.
.
Burgers earlier, around noon, more like 10:00?  Grilling chicken now.  I do love grilling, especially as it warms.  It's 75 out there, the warmest in a while.  Maybe, from what I have seen, as warm as it has been?  I might have missed hot days, with my schedule off.  If hot days mess up my sleep, so I notice.

I've fed the girls twice today.  Fatted calf for the prodigal girl cat.  The festive mood is part of what is throwing fasting off.  I'd love to make potato salad, I'm just not quite up to it.  Green beans and milk are the sides.  Maybe pears and cottage cheese as dessert.

Gaming today.  I simply can't do more.  I have been going out with Sam.  She's a bit unhappy about Sassy's return.  And I need to get used to being outside.  I would like to mow, but not today, tomorrow is claimed, perhaps early Tuesday, if I can get up and get going?  I just... want it.  I'd like to start doing it more often.  Hmm, I ought to get the weed whip going as well.  It doesn't have to be quid pro quo, only when I fail.  I'll... aim that way.

Oh, I think I forgot to set the timer.  The grill should be ready.  Later.

Guess who is back!

.
.
The same distant meows.  Some disturbance at the front door this time.  I went to the front door, turned on the light, opened it, and... nothing.  I suspected a tom, trying to get Sam to come out and play?  And the meowing?  The same, or just very distant goat or lamb, maybe calf, calls... confused from distance.  Oh well.

Still, as I do, I was thorough.  I went to the back door, turned on that light, opened it.  Without hope, but strongly, confidently, I called her name.  Something came at me, quickly.  Spooked me, I really wasn't sure what was approaching.  It looked like her, or a raccoon.  Meow!  It was definitely her!

She meowed for her first half hour, searching here, there.  Sam... avoided.  I know Sam missed her.  But, too, came to the notion that she was gone.  Much like seeing a ghost, even of a loved one.  Adjustments had to be made.  I fed her right away, after she toured the place.  Inspection, you know.  She still meows off and on, trying to be sure she really is home?

She seems to be in very good health.  She hasn't starved, if she may have lost just a bit.  She isn't ragged at all.  Well, she is back.  More, I am sure it was her meowing before.  She just ran away, not sure this was the right place.  Very good.  It will take some realignment, which is fine by me, not so much by Sam.  :p

Like it or not.

.
.
Yesterday I ended up hungry.  My resistance fell.  I ate.  It was actually a smaller meal, as the protein was a lamb chop.  My midday blood sugar was 144.  An hour and an half, after eating at 18:00, my blood sugar had jumped to 256.  Crazy.  I took my blood sugar then because I was crashing... had to go to bed.  Fasting blood sugar is 196.  Let's see if I can fast today.

Feeling just a bit (extra) ragged today.  Nothing too hard.  I may or may not get over it.  No major issue either way.  It's a mix, part minor headache, slight muscle and joint pulls here and there, a small exhaustion not handled by sleep, feeling a bit stretched... thin.  Not much by parts, but the sum mass adds to a general mild malaise.

I am, roughly, back on meds.  The weather is remaining on the cooler side.  I went to bed at 19:30, woke at 3:20.  Though the problem(s) may have nothing to do with anything.  Sometimes that just happens.  Whether it is luck or God's will which allows, or forces me, to remain, I do not live by natural means.  So, a slightly rotten day is at least to expected, and far more than I have.  In other words, for all the words written to apparently counter what I am about to write, actually I have no complaints.  The caveat?  On balance, given all else, in summation, I have no complaints.  Further, I am all but sure this too shall pass, probably before dawn.