Up and about to shove through.

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A shower and shave first, opposite order.  Then to painting, right as fast as I can.  The goal is the window on the roof, two upper windows on the sides, and the last lower window.  I might run out of light, so I'll save the the roof window for last.  It is the only window I have access to power for the light(s).  Did I mention?  I found the bulbs for the lanterns.  Hmm, may have to buy (another, since the other longer one was stolen... expensive!) three prong extension cord, if 50 feet is about as long as they work for heavier applications... in my stretched at that price price range.  Or, last I looked.

As well, I want to set up automatic watering.  It will give me a while to see how well it works, then figure out arrangements, as to placements, so as to leave explicit instructions.  Less work, more frequent though.  If I get that, then maybe the bathroom and where else I left off.  I'd best get going.  Hot or not, I plan to push through.  Later.

No work.

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Couldn't.  Just... couldn't.  I had a good dinner.  Some of the best tomato meat sauce for spaghetti I've made in a long time.  The only thing missing was a few anchovies mashed in olive oil, them mixed into the sauce.  A very good dinner though.

It would be good, if risky, to paint.  Overcast, but sprinkling, at least a bit earlier.  Hold that cool for later!  I just can't.  Perhaps later.

Often I fear trying new songs.  Some just... don't do anything, but many annoy, in one to a hundred ways.  Still, sometimes, I take that chance.  Opening my heart to more beautiful wounds.  And, yet, the pain is all that is holding me together and upright.  It might as well be beautiful and honest.  As well, I have some tender wounds to share.

Good morning, day, and night, Bane, Desert Cat, darkfoam, and Jean.

More.

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Not much more, or yet.  I did get the last window sanded.  I am ready to paint at will.  I believe I will be hitting the unpainted windows first.  Thinking on things, I am beginning to suspect I will need an extra gallon.  Which is fine.  I ran out of light by the time I started, to do more.  Could I have started earlier?  By temp, probably.  Not by readiness. Which is part of why I am trying to beef up before I go to my mother's.  I want to be in better shape for there.  Though, with house ac, and regular food, even with humidity, it should be easier.  It doesn't hurt to get ready though.

Hmm? Oh, right.

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Such strange dreams, again.  As an analogy, imagine walking into an aviary at night, while all are asleep.  Mkay?  Then dropping your flashlight, both making noise and triggering from spot to daylight-like lantern mode.  Mkay?  The cacophony that could erupt?  That... you... I am causing, then sensing, a disturbance in the force.  At times, I infuriate women.  Other times it is men.  Sometimes it is both.  Sometimes I loose them, one sex, or even individual, upon the others.  I... don't do, with intent, I'll remind you, I just... do.  Or, at this time.  I really did this time.  I am receiving a flood of conflicting spots of dreams and thoughts.  I touched a nerve (bundle), or dozen, on every side.  War has been loosed.  You ought to see when I try.  The truth will set you free.

That's that.

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I did get everything in and put away.  I couldn't get back to it, even now.  Another problem, anyway, is that there was no bulb with the lamp I pulled out.  It says it is included. It wasn't.  I have several others. Not hopeful.  Simply to tired to do that now.  As fast as I was able to work, if I can get to it tomorrow, I will.  I might paint.  Sunday and all.  In my condition, if I can work I have to work.  My next opportunity is a great unknown.  I won't promise anything, just saying.

I finished to putting up two loads of laundry.  One more load is dry, another drying, then I'll handle those.  Then, maybe, dishes.  A shave, shower, and cleaning in the bathroom tonight yet?  Maybe.  Trash and recycling at least set to go tomorrow.  Yeah, maybe.  With a cooler day perhaps a cooler night, or cooler quicker?  One can hope.

I even called my mother for her new address.  She had that, but not her p.o. box.  A bit of phone tag, an easy short one this time.  Didn't work, but I know why.

Blood sugar was a few points over 200 earlier, even fasting today.  It is down to 144.  Fasting again tomorrow.  Out of most meats.  Don't want to replace until I get home.  Steaks are disappearing.  Might have to lock the freezer.  Drug zombies everywhere, if that might not be all.  I really don't want to, but spaghetti and meat sauce will do.  Not good for diabetes, but cheap and easy in the short run.  Well, I do have plenty of eggs.  If there is a limit on any one thing.  I am not close to it, with them, but could overdo in a hurry.

Later.

Two out of three.

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Windows, sanded, so far.  Tonight?  Maybe.  I am all set up for it.  Moving the ladder, alone, is a bear.  But holding onto the ladder with one hand, while using the grinder, stretched well out is pretty testing.  I thought about painting in place, as I finished grinding.  I didn't end up liking the idea for several reasons.

That was some nap.

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I don't think ten and an half hours count as a nap, actually.  I did set the alarm for two different times.  I knew I was going down hard, hoped I could manage.  Nope.  A beautiful sleep though.  I must have needed it... heat build up.  If I have a good idea about why else I couldn't wake.  A weak front moved in, it is overcast.

That last means it is cooler today.  It is 82, for now.  A good temp to work in, especially with the sun partly blocked.  I just hope it holds, so I have time to wake, and find my painting shirts.  I can't, always, usually, just pop out of bed and hit it.  I suppose I could more often, even today, but until wires are attached correctly I have a high probability of little and or big mistakes which lead to more work or injury.

I... am not sure.  Painting or paint removal first?  Hmm...  I think paint removal.  Why?  I can paint almost any time, to later in the night than removal anyway.  It isn't loud.  Paint removal is extremely noisesome, and needs better light.  I have three windows left to strip, all high up, each requiring two different ladder placements.  That doesn't sound too bad, until you count in all involved, two different tools up and down, and balancing while working.  I really ought to consider scaffolding... nah.  Putting those up is a lot of work.  If I was going to work on the stone walls, maybe, but they have been done recently.  Although, for painting the interior... if that is a while off.

I am thinking of saving several $k, after a new furnace and central air, and getting cleaning done, then figure out maintenance costs after that.  My mother may or may not want a part of that?  I want to be as hands off as possible.  Gotta keep a bit of an eye on things though.  Women don't think right sometimes.  We'll see.

Fasting starts today.  Just today and tomorrow this time, as I want to work.  With blood sugar good, and last week in the immediate rearview, I don't mind a short one.  I'll make my rounds, find what I need, and get to it before too long.  Later.

A nap?

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Will try.  Not getting anything done.  A meal in, at least.  Blood sugar is averaging 137 this week, 147 last.  Lower would be good.  Oh, it's time to fast.  When I wake.  I will have milk before bed, perhaps fruit and cottage cheese as well.

Just not clicking.

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I had the plans set.  It did take longer to cool off.  I had a light ready to go, didn't worry.  Then, when I got ready, I realized the light was three prong.  I have (had) a longer three-prong.  Either it is misplaced or, as with many things, has been permanently "borrowed".  I know where I put it, where it should be.  Haven't used it since my last Christmas light adventure.

Now, I stewed about it for a bit, then could have kicked myself... if there was a point to that.  I realize I could have opened a window or two, and probably had as many lights up there as I have or want.  Learning takes time.  The heat doesn't help.  Slowly I will have arrangements and preps.  I will have that done and saplings, and tree shoots cut, before I go.

I should be able to do work in the morning.  Painting.  I don't want to run powertools too early.  Though, to some degree, it will have to be one or the other, early or late.  The last time I worked when it was nearly 90 it looked like I had bobbed for apples in boiling oil, plus been bit by bees in several places, and that was in the shade... if I had failed to drink enough tea.  I... am little shy of working in that high of a heat, especially with no place to truly cool off.

Dishes and more laundry, if to be honest, doing anything while it is still 80 in here is difficult.  I would sleep if I could.  Bah.  High summer antics.  I'll survive, and get to things.  Later.

Hot.

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Awaken earlier.  Annoyed at first, but it was for a good cause.  Boys will be boys, more so on their way to becoming men.  Hopefully after.  Back to sleep even so, after arming the younger one with special items for his trials.  A bit more sleep and it was time to rise.  Dreams, if I only remember knowing.  I usually know I am dreaming.  Dreams, native ones, are fragile to my conscious mind so I tread gently there.  I think we need to dream, so crushing them with too focused of awareness, or will to alter, will dispel the needed psychic cool, or hard, waters.  These dreams were cool waters, if I have learned to cherish each.

Can I pout yet?

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Planning to sleeping, even with the best intention, can, did, mean nothing.  I couldn't sleep.  To warm.  No.  Hungry?  Yes but not that hungry.  I gave up and grilled a cornish game hen.  I think I'll get six more of those... a great light meal for a giant sort, ogre perhaps.  Add a potato and veggies and it works as a feast.  They are either 20 or 24 ounces, if after considered, if not qualified quantitative, analysis, I'd guess a third of the relevance of the bird is bone or otherwise inedible.  Still, a joyous little meal.

Some things going.

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It didn't cool of fast enough for me to work outside.  It didn't seem like it to me anyway. Even with a spotlight, I don't want to be fussing past 22:00.  It is annoying, potentially, to neighbors.  And they already endure my strange ways, words, and writings.  So...  I may sleep, hoping to get up early enough to paint while cool.

Blood sugar got back down to 128.  I have had food since, peanuts.  I am hungry for more but not up to cooking.  Bp was good if not superior.  I have caught up on medicine, but keep slipping near the edge of missing.  Sleep is wonky and heat is heavy.  Things slip.

I just don't have enough cross breeze through the cave, especially west to east.  There needs to be a breeze, fans don't do it.  Ac only works in the room it is in.  At least the place stays fifteen degrees, often, cooler than the outside high.  It's getting it to cool later that's the sticking point.

I have started research on ducks.  Not a lot of luck so far.  A major concern is water in the winter.  Though knowing how long they live, the right feed, and many other things, remain unknown.  The breed is a type of runner.  Their eggs are actually prized for baking, though great just cooked.  Bits and pieces, nothing coherent.  If I do meat, I may just buy those chicks, and raise them separately.  I have three buildings which would work.  I may just try different breeds, culling all, so I don't have two safes (landlocked group of ducks) always.  I may even try meat chickens to compare, once I get the first safe figured.  If it works.  Yes, excited... and apprehensive.

If ducks are on the water they are called a raft, bunch, paddling, team... and some others.

I'd best nap if I want to try to work in the morning.

Ducks.

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I don't think I mentioned?  My source of chicken eggs, and occasional duck eggs, has a... problem.  One of his duck hens went broody.  Sixteen little surprises have hatched.  These aren't meat ducks, however.  Eggs it seems.  He was looking to sell a few.  I... have doubts, fears.  I asked a lot of questions.

In one way I was a very hard sell.  A lot of rather direct questions.  I was already almost sold, on the other hand.  An easy sale, after more information.  I won't be taking possession until my return.  I need to clear and clean one of the outhouses, perhaps build nesting boxes, cut an opening and put in at least one window, get a kiddie pool and feed...  I am not sure if leaves work, or if hay is required for bedding.  I will, eventually, build an automatic feeding system and develop a watering system, heated for the winter.

Six to eight ducks.  A starter kit.  I would sure like meat ducks too, if I am not sure... interbreeding might become a major snafu.  Unless I replace the layer breed drake with a meat drake and added meat hens... hoping any replacement hens born of any mix could still put out good eggs, with the meat breeds putting out dinners?  Unless they breed to their own?  It'll be a learning process until it isn't.  On the good side, I have the previous owners for advice.  We may end up learning from each other.  Hmm... if I wanted defense?  Geese.  Not sure, might need fencing with them.  Might end up needing yard fencing as is?  Learning.

It is already down to 82, was an hour ago.  Hasn't changed yet.  I have started going out for short strolls, to give Sam some appreciated attention, look over my humble kingdom, and... just be alive in and enjoy the summer.  Another hour or two and it could be time to open up the cave and go to work.  It got down to 48 last night.  A duplication would be wonderful.  Though, I suppose, extra cool nights are more of a luxury... to be enjoyed as much for their rarity as simple pleasure.

There are the eggs, but also just having critters.  Perhaps they will get me out even more.  If I have to fence, I may look at meat geese, meat chickens, and a milk/meat goat/kid.  If you go country, go all in?  I wonder if a goat can bed in with ducks?  Research material, if experience will tell the real story.  Well, then, I'd almost have to get a dog.  I'd... better relax, and just see how I do with ducks, innit.  Later.

A bit of a lazy day. So far.

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With yesterday I am okay with that.  I even watered the lawn last night, manually.  It's a lot of work.  Moving, switching things, but easier than before adding quick change fittings.  And they don't leak, at least when treated right, on lighter duty, and so far.  I can't believe how well the grass is finally doing.  Now to fill a few areas.  Grass is pushing into to more barren or weedy areas, seed will just help.  I would like to pen in the areas.  As much to keep mowing out as to be able to track growth.

I didn't get to more work last night, other than that... well, and putting one of my minor work/spot lights together.  I have been sleeping as I can, in odd shifts.  I don't have a day or night.  I don't sleep a set amount.  I attempt to sleep more in the cool and dark, but take what I can when I must.  Summer is wearing on me, but I... after work yesterday... am getting into it.  As long as I work some, go outside from time to time, sit and sleep enough, and cool off when needed, it'll work out.  I may not have a square day, but it is deep summer.  Gear, plan, and live for it.

Eggs for breakfast.  Blood sugar was a bit high this morning.  I took the Boss for pizza last night.  Once, even twice, a month is fine.  And it isn't that high.  I should make mushroom and burger pizzas again.  I really love pizza type foods.  With the lower carb tomato sauces, purees, and such, it's good with diabetes.  I'll check blood sugar again in a bit.  If I don't nap soon.  I'd like to paint tonight as it cools, a nap might make that more likely.  Still hungry... popcorn!

I have a cornish game hen thawed for supper.  I don't know, something about eating a whole bird, my own bird, makes me feel like a king.  Split, flattened, then grilled.  Basted, with butter this time.  That, green beans, a potato or half, and milk will be my desert for painting.  If I can, I might paint the one raw window and the four already painted windows.  Which leaves four more windows to be scraped and painted.  Actually, I might be able to get a first coat on one of those?  Maybe.  Some haven't needed prep.  If I get half way, or more, through, I'll have dinner.  I'll save the easier ones for later.  I'll put a load going in the washer and reset dishes.  Bleh.

Later.

Fantastic nap, even better shower.

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I should have showered before going down.  Couldn't.  I was glad to finally drag my sorry but to bed.  Besides, bedding and laundry are on the very short list.  So down I went, if I had to cool off then get up to go down first.  I have learned a few tricks about showering... or come full circle back to some things.  I don't know what behaviors I lost or had to surrender to health decline.  As health is upgraded, if marginally, I am taking full advantage, and then some.

I seem to have been correct about blood sugar.  A gallon down, a nap, cooling, and a shower, blood sugar is down to 129, or less.  Food was not an issue, just heat and hydration or lack of it.

Ah, the moisturizer?  Don't use it on your face.  Probably nowhere sensitive!  I do use the soap there, when I want to clean down to the shine.  But I have... I like brisk risks.  Some of them.  Lesson learned.  I'll... have to think about the face.  Hmm, maybe I have some after shave stuff... but is that good for the whole face.  After peppermint... I'll try it.  It won't be as bad.

Perhaps driving tonight. If I am back in time, the plan is to do the three dormer windows over the roof tonight, then bedding and laundry plus dishes.  Tomorrow, if up early enough, back to sanding windows.  Early and cool, or much later.  That and back to wherever in domestics I left off.

I might be back to it.  I want to get back into some kind of shape before visiting my mother.  I going am there to work.  I want to throw myself into it as deeply and heavily as I can.  For it, I will request a few days down, food, and a favor... help seeing me somewhere at a righteous time.  For that, or either way, I will do what I can.

Nice.  More fridge cold tea.  Minted.  Fresh.  Later.

Painting.

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It was 88 or so, and, yet... with help on hand we got to it.  Up the ladder.  First the angle grinder with steel brush treatment, then to painting.  Prep is no small part of it.  Getting the ladder configured and in place, mixing paint, setting up the sander and angle grinder, plus the power cord.  Lots of little and big things, here and there.  And nearing 90 F, everything is felt.

One upper and lower window trim was stripped and painted as needed.  On the good side, there were two of us, so while one was working, the second could hand things up or whatever else needed on the ground, if mostly allowed time to cool off.  It's  a good way to work, if you can.  Most of the world... frowns on such effort however.  Me?  I like being the limit.  I push as I may, if I don't think it affects the boss, not much.

We worked two to three hours.  Probably should have driven in the heat, worked in the cool.  Next time.  Oh, the hoses were fixed, checked, and mostly put up as well.  I got several sets of fittings from different companies because China.  They don't do non-metric, or even metric, well.  I was proven correct.  Even then it isn't optimal.

I... really need to remember to drink out there.  With company, and while working outside, it is easy for me to forget.  My face was beat red, and blood sugar spiked to over 200, I think from a sort of dehydration.  Definitely need to drink, even while driving... the right drink.  Yeah, I'll see about a canteen of tea for this afternoon.

I have ordered more of the right repair kits, a few more inline shut-offs, and several quick connect kits, some to be gifted.  Good work is worth pay and outright bribery.

Now, a refrigerated nap, then a shower.  Of course, after we finish it gets partly clouds and goes down to 82.  ;p  Later.

Will probably be sleeping more.

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Too warm, the cave isn't cooling as much lately, so retreating to the air conditioned bedroom, for now, is the only way to get cool.  I am not sure when I went down, perhaps 3:00, give or take.  Running the ac for just a bit at night almost guarantees a morning wake... the heat from the rising sun does it.

Fasting blood sugar is 118.  I won't do bp until later, at least several hours after medicine.

After watering last night, I moved the hoses for mowing.  I had hoped to be up to that today, but not.  And I have an appointment anyway.  Still, having the watering systems out of the way helps.  With the rider, moving the sprinklers and hose is the hardest part, if not the most time consuming. I will probably need a nap before heading in.  And a shower and shave.

It looks like the summer doldrums are upon us.  The mid 90's F, at least, mostly, until possibly a few cooler days in August, but really either September or October before some real cool returns.  I still prefer having deep winters and summers.  The hard changes mean preparation and time-outs.  At least for me.  Mostly.  Even so, central air would help a great deal.

For now it is what it is.  It is cooling enough, outside, with enough light to work, for me to get to painting, and sanding.  Well, calking to, up on the roof in a few places.  Which reminds me... while in town, some of the heavier silicon, and a gun if I can't find one before I go.  As well as sidewalk calk, if that is different.  Plus cat food and litter.  Twice daily litter cleaning sure makes litter last longer.  Adding a bit more from time to time helps quite a bit.  Don't need it immediately but am completely out.

It would be good to clear the car, then get it cleaned.  Probably just a wash today.  Oil change soon as well.  Perhaps a complete clean before I head out?  Yeah.  It's good to be up on all that.  Long trips are spooky as vehicles age.  Rambling?  Aye.  Later.

Strange how music finds me.

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I was pondering... something... someone... the other day.  Pulled to this unlikely song.  It tested my patience.  I stuck with it.  I think so, it is right.

Getting started.

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One of the packages was a multivariable sprinkler, for the gardening sideyard area.  I figured it wouldn't be variable enough, if I had already probably solved the issue.  Needing two hoses t get to the area, I purchased inline ball valves so I had a shut off closer than the hydrant.  Well, a ball valve doesn't have to be shut completely.  Even so, absolute perfection can't be had, if my rig gets very close.  Done.  And the sideyard is getting watered. Now I can hook up the timer and have it mostly automated.  I will have to turn the hydrant on, then turn it off, as it leaks no matter my efforts to curtail that, but I am satisfied with that.

I have the cave opened and fans going, for as little as that is seeming to help.  I did find one of the windows still open, a worse west facing one.  It is cooling out there, at night, but that isn't helping much in here.  Yeah, central air, with the new furnace, next spring.  I won't needlessly suffer this damnable heat another year.  Window ac's don't cut it, and cost a comparative fortune to run.  Still, I will be buying another and bringing the one upstairs down.  It does nothing for me up there.

Heck of a world and way.  I have a potato baking.  When the timer for the sideyard indicates shutoff time, I will light the grill and put veggies on.  When it is going, I'll put a steak on.  The second, non-fasting, aftermeal blood sugar is 126.  BP is 119/90, p. 96.  Good enough.  Small steak, half a potato, and half the veggies.  If I am still hungry, or become hungry, I'll have a light snack later.  Trying to keep feeding to a six hour window.

Later.

Up and down all day.

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No choice, if I am surprised I could do it.  I was sick, fried, when I crashed.  While tunnel vision had backed off some, stars were still on the extended periphery.  Actually, that remains unchanged.  Still, I had packages incoming.  And with the heat I didn't want things to cook out there.  I set my small portable kitchen time for two hours, and hoped.

I honestly didn't think it would, could, wake me.  It turns off after some time as well.  Oddly, it woke me, each time.  There were three delivery services, all arriving at different times.  Three resets, at two hours per, and everything was in... I could just sleep from then on.  Running the ac actually ended up hurting my leg.

It is the cold, I now realize, that had my leg hurting this spring.  I had wondered if it was the cold or a lack of minerals.  Being on daily vitamins and extra occasional minerals now, I am sure it was the cold.  When I first went in, it was hot.  I turned the ac on full blast and slept without blankets but couldn't stir until the alarm.  By then my leg had the severe ache.  I'll have it for several days.

I was hungry first thing.  I reheated the uneaten half of the steak.  I thought about a potato, or can of veggies.  No, hungry.  Now.  I did manage to do a blood sugar check before diving in.  Barely.  It was 99.  Wow.  I thought my feast would have ruined the numbers.  BP is 127/95, p. 98.  I pushed things, and it is really hot in here.  Still, that isn't bad.  Oh, and... medicine.  I'll check in a couple hours after taking it, missed this morning too, if I might be able to make it all up.  Still?  Wow.  Not bad for being on the verge of passing out for four hours, probably on the cusp of death.  Woot!  Love me some risk.  Frisky!

Black, at the speed of light.

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Wow!

I haven't been that close to passing out in... ever?  I saw stars last time I stretched fasting.  This time my entire peripheral vision was stars, tunnel vision came and was narrowing to a pinpoint.  And as mentioned, darkness was coming at me so very fast.  I got food in me as quickly as possible.  While it took several meals and snacks and four hours when passing out was imminent, I made it.  As soon as I was safe, I began checking things.  Blood sugar was fine, at 114.  But bp had crashed.  I'll bet it had been lower.  At the time I read it, it was 103/68, pulse 80.  I am guessing it really dipped.

I really would rather stop.

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I am really hungry.  I think it is mostly mental.  I simply want food.  Plus it hasn't cooled off outside, so isn't cooling off inside.  I am being chewed up by two annoyances.  Yeah. I'll keep to my fast anyway.  At least for tonight.

I hit the dishes, watered the front yard for a bit, did some work on my feet and legs, and will finish the dishes soaking.  I will also set up the last dishes, get trash and recycling out... at least out of the door, and get laundry back to be ready tomorrow.  A shave?  Maybe, and shower, after the trash is out.  Will need the ac and door shut.

Blood sugar is 111.  I only check bp a few random times a day now.  If the reads are good enough, I don't bother checking the other arm.

I'd love to make an egg casserole for whenever I start eating.  But with the heat staying I won't.  If I am going to cook, it's better to do it during the day heat, where it really isn't noticed.  I wonder about chocolate pudding?  If it is stove top prep, that wouldn't be a problem.  Perhaps jello as well, with fruit, pears.  Or... just refuse out, a nap, then see from there?  Yes.

I noticed vids, from long ago, being stirred.  Some of laments, some of possible realizations.  Strange.  Someone(s) went digging, and fairly deep.  There is either a mismatch of when those were viewed and when that became apparent, or the viewer(s) aren't showing up as having visited.  I suspect they are running invisible, by the nature of what was viewed.

Later.

It is getting hot in here.

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Even though I cooled the place off last night, the sun is really hammering the place today.  Last I looked, it was 94 F or so outside.  Inside it is up to 78.  I don't mind that so long as I can cool the place down, even to 72, at night.  It should be cooling enough, or almost, to open things back up.  If the final trick I figured out last night works as it did, it won't take long to shove the heat out again.

Blood sugar spiked to 152, then has dropped back to 124.  BP is at 118/82, pulse 79.  Good.  Great, really.  Now to get food intake to maintain it.  It is both volume and variety, not just how that seems.  Too much or too little, other than true fasting, can be a problem.  True fasting has serious limits.  As well, some carbs are very good, with a neutral effect on blood sugar.  Red meat is excellent, the fatter the better.  Beside not liking lean, it actually turns to sugar drastically quicker and more of it.  From what I have seen, cholesterol problems seem to be an age, not food, thing.  And they don't have a way to fix it.  Their idea of a fix is akin to doing facelifts as a cure for old bodies.

As soon as it is cooler outside, and I open things up, I may take a nap.  Well, after dishes.  If that all works out, on to bedding and laundry.  Later.

A great day.

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I reversed my wake-up time by three hours.  In hangover mode for it.  No, no alcohol involved.  Changing sleep patterns that quickly will do just the same.  In spite of it, actually in part because of it, is why the day is good.  I love beating the odds.  Of course, now I have to continue the process.  Grueling.  But... I love the gruelling.  Wish I could do more of the useful sort of it.

I was able to break my troubled sleep cycle by figuring how to cool the cave.  It was getting and staying about 75 F or more.  Day after day and, as a low, it was too warm.  Last night, with just fans and a few particular arrangements, I was able to cool the place to about 70.  That I can live with.  I am wondering if being too hot too long exacerbates diabetes.

Speaking of which, my blood sugar got to 100 last night.  After that first jump, the rest was a slow decline.  Odd how it works.  When my blood sugar is high, my fasting blood sugar is often the highest read for the day.  If it is below 200 or 150 or such, the resting blood sugar is the second highest read (at least while fasting).  My second read then becomes the highest.  When it is near 100, the... it loses any pattern.  Usually.  There are no absolutes, just rules of thumb that can be upended for some or no reason.  Fasting blood sugar was 118.  Waking fasting blood sugar is 154.  BP is 124/91, p. 78.  See?  Good day, very good day.

Today?  A few domestics, as I can.  Fasting is taking it's toll.  And it is a holy day.  I'll get some ketonic down before long.  Gotta watch, remember... sharts... all I'm saying the more.  It's twu.  Today and tomorrow left of fasting.  It's going well.  Later.

It is a trick to fast and work.

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It wasn't a lot of work.  So far, I showered, reset soaking dishes, then finally made it up on the roof with the small sander and got busy.  By the way?  Paying more for paint is worth every penny.  I will give what is painted a second coat.  Just for a smooth sense, and... because.  No absolute need.  I'll never go another way again.  It even covered the purple, first coat.  Wow.

As to the sanding, the untouched window dressing was all that really needed it.  I tried several areas which were painted.  The concrete like paint just laughed, suggested it tickled.  Not liking to be mocked, and to truly test, I leaned in like a bull on a tourist at the runs.  Nothing doing.  Still, I kept trying various areas.  No really doesn't always mean no.

Blood sugar jumped to 171 then fell to 138.  Crazy system.  I did get one ketonic down.  Will get another in a bit.  I can have two, probably three, of those a day.  My aim is to have one a day, more if I do more.  It helps, slightly.  Enough to bother to make it.  Hunger comes and goes, but mildly.  It shifts from hunger being the problem to phantom hunger, the habit of eating, becoming the problem.  I haven't yet gotten past that and something else.  Is it keto flu, or a real limit, I am hitting?

What a gig? Gag?

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Days are tumbling. It's the heat.  It is 88, again.  Not typical, actually. It is cool... for the time of year.  I am more familiar with 95 F days, in July.  August is cooler, if more in the lower 90's, and more overcast days.  But by then, heat tolerance is shot.  The cave is now staying about 75.  Which is too warm.  I may have to bring the ac down, set it up in a back window, and run the two for short, staggered spells.  Or give up on a day cycle, which I don't want to do.

I missed medicine last night.  I will take everything but carvedilol, doubling on that will take me down like a lodestone, for days perhaps.  Still, bp wasn't horrible for it, at 146/86, p. 83.  Blood sugar is the best fasting I have had in a while, at 148.  It is below the average I showed the doc, and should continue to decrease... should.  Plus, I have two more days of fasting, after today, on the schedule.  Should work out.

Oh well.

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Again.  I just can't climb out of the hole I have fallen into.  No worries, I'll get there.

Blood sugar is down to 122.  Ugh, but it is a major push to bring it down.  BP was good, gooder.  At 138/98 it is nearing reasonable.  I am draining well as well.  I have gone back down to two water pills.  A weigh in at the first of the week, or my gut feeling, will let me know when to drop to one.

Oh, I received something from amazon I hadn't ordered.  At first I thought it was a mistake.  Nope me, and my address.  Then I checked billing.  I hadn't been.  Initially I thought it was Dr. Bronner's peppermint soap.  I already use that.  On closer inspection, it turns out to be the above, minus soap.  Hand and body lotion.  Seemed fubar to me, but I'll try anything once.  Free, twice.

I... am extremely impressed.  I don't know how much it costs yet, but I'd be willing to pay a premium for it.  Why?  A very little actually does an excellent job.  I am perplexed why so many lotions fail so spectacularly.  And if you like the scent of mint?  This is where that is at.  -  Price checked, between $10 and $11, for eight ounces.  Considering a dime spot covers both legs, ankles, and feet, to and including the knees, with my alligator skin?  Inexpensive.  They also have other scents... lime, lavender, perhaps others.  Just saying.

I might yet shave and shower.  Try the lotion after.  Hunger returns, then fades.  It is mild, some of it is just in my mind... a want, from habit.  Some hunger is real, but not biting... not yet.  Whatever. Good night.

Yeah, not today.

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Simply too hot.  It isn't what the fake weather reports say.  It is 88, they are claiming 97.  Still trying for grobble warbling I see.  Even so, just too hot.  I may check in an hour, though light might be a bit scarce by then.  The problem is there doesn't seem to be a cooler day in the forecast.  Then again, this is from the bozo assclowns who have 100 year forecasts nailed.  I guess if they can't figure tomorrow's weather, going so long they won't even be remembered when they flop... and Soros/globalist money spends good today.

I WILL get dishes, a shave, and a shower.  Once those are completed, I'll think on more.  I did water the side yard just a bit, and will complete that later.  And a narrow patch in the back yard is being hit now.  I'm trying to... bring back the lawn.  With some help it is working.  More seed, and cordoning off some areas from being mowed until growth is next.  If I can keep up on the watering, yeah.

Dishes should be easy.  Shaving won't be bad.  And the shower should be really good.  Hunger pangs earlier.  Need to mix the ketonic (a combination of three powders/crystals, an oil, and warm to hot tea).  Yes, the tea is hot.  That stuff... can help.  Cuts hunger, or offers some energy.  I really need to make bone broth.

Even hot, it's a good day.  I think I'll run the ac for a bit.  Later.

I love it when fasting is... cake?

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Talk about not having your cake, and not eating it to!?!  I... think so.  When fasting is easy, life is better.  The start of the second day and all is well.  Blood sugar finally got down to 145 last night, early this morning actually.  Fasting draw was 201 or such.  No idea why, really.  I'll do what must be done.  BP is fantastic, at 123/86 with pulse at 44?  Maybe I am learning to Zen again.  You would be amazed what you can train your mind and body to do, if first you have to part from them.  Death gave me that opportunity, many times.  So much so, they are... sometimes foreign to me.

My mom called.  She is pleased with her blender.  It was spendy, but can probably handle small, single loaf, bread dough.  Firetruck red, so she won't lose it.  It sounds like she has work lined up for me.  All good.  Using a tractor scoop to get limbs cut, painting roof fronting, more I am sure.  "Afraid of ladders?"  Heck no.  It will be good to help.  I am taking some of my tools.  Life is good.  Hmm, I should get to my windows... extra practice.  And find a hat to keep the sun off.  She has to have a way for me to cool down.

As well, I remembered my bills.  I paid them over the phone before calling my mother.  I also got the mailing address for the one that charges, even for a bank drat.  I may start mailing that in, then decide how much to pay extra, get it automated, possibly sending more in, if I have more than more *wink* at the end of the month.  Triple down, if I can go without so much Amazon.  Arghhhh!  I am thinking one and two thirds on auto, the enough to double or triple pay, depending how the month goes.  We can't, but I can.  Hup!

Yeah, dishes, sanding.  I know... echoing.  But, for sure tonight?  Yeah.  Right.  Later.

Oh, well?

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Dishes?  What else?  Oh, trim... inside, of the outside, windows... the trim next to the glass panes, on the exterior portion of the window.  Some things take a passel of words to convey, or perhaps a few technical words possibly not found in any particular dictionary.  Hmm?  Never to worry.  I mean, I did start on dishes, then sort of fell down.  I'll... get them yet.  But the trim I skipped.  It was 90ish F most of the day, and still 80 as it was growing dark.  Nope.  Just... nope.  As it cools, I may do a bit of prep, so if waking, light, and cool converge, I will be ready.

Fasting is going well.  I seem to be unable to drink as much as usual.  Strange.  Which means I haven't brewed fresh tea, which while warm is what I prefer for my ketonic... the powders mix better and the warmth brings out the flavors more richly.  Yeah.  If I run into that problem in the future... I need to introduce an override or bypass routine.  I am doing that much better in recent years.  Everything from recently learning to take medicines properly when I miss a day of sleep, to brushing regularly, or taking my meds backwards when I lose my day schedule.  I... can learn, train myself.

Blood sugar is coming down.  It's still high, higher than the average I showed the doc, honestly at that time.  I'm not going to worry.  It'll do it's weird thing, I'll just test four times a day, five if my day stretches long, double if I do a double day.  BP is middling ugly as well.  Annoying.

A time of fasting.

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Blood sugars remain ugly.  BP remains middling ugly.  Medicine is taken rightly, foods that have been tested out remain the menu.  It just doesn't seem to matter.  Then again, this isn't completely a surprise.  Perhaps volume, if I don't think so.  I still suspect the brots did something really off.  Something strange about those...

So, today, back to fasting.  The goal is to fast through Monday, at least to it.  If needed, then again next Thursday through Monday.  I will hammer this back in shape.  Oh, I gained 15 pounds in three days when I was having blood sugar problems.  I was drinking less, but enough less I wasn't priming the pump.  So that gallon to gallon and a half per day mostly stayed... enough of it.  I doubled my dose, but have again added another tab... just to push more.  When the pump becomes un-primed, it must take a little more to get the pump flowing again.  Been on this high of a dose before.  All good.

Do what it takes.  If you don't, they will.  Fasting isn't so bad, especially if you have extra to tide you over.  I would like to push both the length and activity level.  The ketone gunk might help.  I keep forgetting it.  It tastes odd, and helps mildly.  But I haven't seen huge gains... marginal only... which means only slight gains.

I may also have to return to full keto.  What's not to like with keto?  All food loses flavor. While that limits temptation, since it all tastes like cardboard... who wants to eat cardboard!?!  Ugh.  Trying to figure the world out, two seconds from death in any direction, is trick.  Well, they say I am close to death.

After searching, many times, for the book I was reading as a devotional and failing to find, I gave up and reordered.  It arrived today.  As well, it's curtains, for me.  Doc.  Well, some of them.  For upstairs.  As well, now that I have mostly figured out water kefir, I ordered more bottles, which arrived, snap-tops, resealable button tops, 16 ounce, strong enough to hold serious fizz.

I'd best get the ketotion, medicine, tea, and then on to my waking and life.  Today?  Dishes, and window inside trim sanding.  Anything else will be incidental.  The trim will have to be later, it is hot, and as any cat on such a tin roof might know?  Youch.  Later?  In more ways then... three, somehow.  Don't cross your eyes!  Dot them!  To a tee?

Cornish game hen, with a twist.

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Several twists.  First, spatchcocked, then grilled, finally basted with coconut manna (butter).  Done perfectly this time.  However, you can keep the coconut manna.  It wasn't overpowering, on the good side.  It had a heavy fatty taste, even grilled, that just...  Now, I did baiste almost as it was coming out.  Maybe that was the problem.  I plan to experiment with it as a food and lotion stuff.  Yeah.  I am trying to find double, even triple, duty stuff.  I wonder if this would work as gun grease?  Seriously.

Anyway, tentatively not giving the nod on this for that.  Although, I finally found a use for my tiny cast frying pan... as a butter, of whatever kind, melting and basting device.  I have several, if the next size would be better for two, or three small, eggs.  I bought a group of them out of curiosity, and because I love cast iron.  It feels... real.  So much of what I find in this place is insubstantial, seems weak, feels too light, reminds me of death.  I want more life, Father.  For myself, and my things.  Iron.  It's not perfect.  It is better.

It was 82, I think, last I checked.  Probably warmer now.  It is 73, and points, inside.  When it feels too warm in here, stepping outside, sitting in the shade until some comfort is obtained, then returning inside does the trick.  It's, really, the perfect weather for the 4th, as an Iowa boy.  No humidity and all is good.

Hmm...  I'll try pork in a bit.  I purchased pineapple, canned, with no sugar added.  I am thinking of trying that on top, just to see.  It's probably beyond the pale, even should they be telling the truth.  Pineapple is pretty sweet.  It's a feast day, it happens, and I am still testing.  Plus with blood sugar gone wild anyway...  I will wait until my blood sugar has time to settle, say three more hours, so I have a flat starting number.  If my sugar is high, but it doesn't spike much, I have a initial positive result.  It takes a number of results to begin making a conclusion... Barring catastrophe.  By the way, when are the French going to learn to write proper (US) English?  :)  It's our national birthday.  What better day for some international incidents?

Back to music, resting, and gaming.  Good day.

The 4th!

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First things first.  BP is a little high, blood sugar is and has been ugly.  Nothing I am doing is working.  Multiday fasting will probably work, but not today.  Today is a feast day.  Pork ribs and a spatchcock cornish game hen.  Last one was grilled whole, someone, over at Ace's (should it be Aces'?), reminded me of the method.  For a 24 ounce bird, it's mostly bone.  I think being forced to peck through the bones for meat makes the meal... much better, sort of like shelling pistachios.

I did not get the flag up.  I'll... it'll get there.  I hate when I remember the important undone tasks in while-waking dream storms.  You can't make me feel more guilt or shame than I already know.  And you probably have no true idea of what might, or even should, grieve such a one.  I do.  Know, that is.  While I won't beat a dead horse, I do know the faults and failures, and try to fix, do, change.  And, slowly... I fix, do, change.  If never will I have all of it.

I have to admit, president Trump... is superior to even what I suspected.  I did have some concern that populism and ego might be the limits of, to, his time in office.  I easily see he has clearcut pro-American goals that supersede those limits.  Further, those weren't what I thought.  They are elements of his game.  Like all men, he struggles with ego, but that is a small personal thing, one he manages well, in my humble opinion, especially given his station.

I do worry about him putting a lefty in the scotus.  When Schmuck Schemer fights against a woman, he is more likely saying who he wants, or what he wants.  Something he should be denied.  Women are fearful malleable weak creatures.  Gave in to Satan quickly, easily, dragged man down with her.  I just hope Trump... he knows.   It would be a trade of some sort, not a good one, especially with that party committing suicide.  Don't surrender now, Grant.  Some associations can't be fixed.  Who would have thought the right party then would turn into such a whiney, self-loathing, anti-American, group of Sodomites?  Sad.

Yes, America is looking better.  But Trump's fixes need to be made law, Dem ruinations such as Zerocare need to be eliminated.  President Trump's appointments need to be shoved through.  Establishment GOP need to be denied entry *cough* Romney *cough*.   Others need to "retire"... many are leaving, as Ryan partly and others completely, if not enough  *cough* McConnel *cough*.  Still, the road back from hell isn't an easy one.

We haven't yet hit the impending economic collapse.  Fed spending is what is artificially sustaining.  It isn't the economic driver, as Zero tried to make it.  The spending is merely an umbrella to buy time to rebuild, design, focus, and unleash the only possible economic engines of commerce, production, construction, and such from the private sector.  We will get hit, hard, often.  It is a matter if we have cut the swill of social socialism and crony capitalis enough that we don't collapse from what is due, coming.  Though, if we go?  They all go darker still.  They know it.

More winning?  Sure.  But for now, have yourself a fantastic, hopeful, patriotic, family and friend filled, delectably edible, celebration of the birth of the nation that has brought light, in a thousand ways, to every corner of this dank, dark, retched world, or died trying.  And remember to thank the soldiers, marines, sailors, cops, and others, who do stand against the filthy darkness so you don't have to face the dragons yourself.  Amen.

A bit, so far.

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A bit of simple rest got me over the want of a nap.  So, after doing my regular affairs, and cooling plus relaxing, I started a bit more.  The new garden hoses arrived, so I was able to bypass the broken hose.  As well, I installed the timer and delink devices, so as to be able to keep the hoses connected, and switch them, and even the timer, with ease.

With it being overcast, or was, I started watering.  Of course, this time the sun sort of came out.  I turned it all off, if I may move things a bit and give a soak to a slightly different area tonight. It is helping, but it will never quite make it without more shade, and perhaps fertilizer, maybe else?

I had to call my mother, though it is good to check in, it regarded an exact address check, for a delivery.  Her birthday present, one of them, for this month.  Surprisingly, a name brand.  She is usually a very country girl, and usually right.  But sometimes she finds a quality item, and knows from experience that it isn't just a name thing.  I am just proud she, mostly, wasn't afraid to ask.  Of all the cooks in the world, she has done the most with the least.  It is good to get better tools in her hands.  Pleases the soul, and many bellies even to this day, and so long as she lives.

As well, and finally, Duluth returned the money.  I was tempted to not buy again.  Save that their belts, while spendy, are truly the best belts under the sun.  And, the other things I like from them, even for the price, are excellent.  I just can't hate them.  So I ordered belts again.  I don't even need to throw the fifteen year old one away.  I can just use that for around the house.  Yeah, they are that good.  I am murder on regular belts.

Up and over.

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With such a long, hot, busy, exhausting day, I wasn't sure how things would work... through the night, or waking today.  I ended waking at a weird early time.  Perhaps I already wrote about it?  Waking after a short to normal sleep period.  I then crashed, hard, around 1:30.  I fell too fast to set an alarm.  I woke at 9:30, an half hour before driving was planned.  I really wanted to tuck back in but didn't.

Up, hair fixed, medicine, dressed, and teeth being brushed when the knock came.  I got the grill going, then we headed out.  It was better, but not stellar.  It just takes time.  Then a steak dinner.  And right as he goes in to get his braces out.  *grins*  I bet his ortho (is it) will be happy with that.  Driving and work next time, and a... chat.  He has broken two hoses and the brass splitter.  He... has some work to do, off the books.  Repairs.

Today?  Resting.  I have pushed far too hard these last four or five days.  I need rest.  It's a cool day, at 64 F, last I looked.  Mostly overcast, with a mild breeze last time I was out. Now to strip to shorts, t, and house flops.  Then daily do's, news, and on to gaming, or a nap.  A nap will happen, soon or late.

Later.

Rough day, wake.

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What a mess.  Too little sleep, dehydrated, overheated, hungry, and bulling on through?  There was a price.  My blood sugar sot up, and the meal and fluid exacerbated that, spiking to 300/275.  (I did a second test, not trusting the first, not sure which to believe.)  Then I crashed so hard I think I hurt something... no, not really if almost.

I thought I would sleep for days, or at least half a day.  Nope!  Seven hours and I popped out of bed like a perfect ice cube ejected out of it's mold.  It pretty much hurt right then, but the bed was finished with me.  No going back.  I am tempted to take aspirin.  I like to hold off, though.  Reserving that for persistent, harsher, pain.  It makes the stuff very effective when something is on the edge of tolerability.

I immediately checked the outside temp.  It was cooler than indoors already, barely.  Good enough.  Everything was opened save the window on the sunny side.  Way too much heat, even with the fading sun.  It is time to open that window.  Sundown is heaven, hereabouts.

Ah!  My bad about the boss.  He didn't just forget, or get busy.  He was camping last week.  He told me, too, I just... reckon time... differently.  I thought he had already gone, last week.  So... lessons are back on.  At least I... didn't have to eat too much crow.  A minor apology seemed appropriate, and to suffice.  My can I be a big baby.  Oh well.  At least I... left room to sort it out before harm.  Though, I was trying to be understanding... I thought, maybe, he got in too deep, too many jobs.  All good.  Only the cap toe, not the whole shoe...  *tap dancing with the devil...*

All things are getting better.  The pains are easing, the cave and bod are cooling, blood sugar is at 185, food is being planned... the same old regular, ribeye, corn, potatoes, and fresh milk *WOOT*... medicine is down, plus I finally added the extra minerals to my kit and going to need them with double water pill dose.  Oh, I best brush.  For why though?  Fie, for now, I will continue.

I am hoping to sleep earlier tonight.  Even a nap would do.  I want to be ready to drive tomorrow, and do some other things.  I may have a bargain for the boss... a deal he can't refuse.  We are all momma's boys, in even our darkest hearts.  Some run from it, wrestle with it, face it, or else.  Just best to take it like a man, for whatever that means on any given day.  Yeah, cooties and all, I suppose.  It's a trap!

We'll, I best brush, open the lee window, and get the grill hot.  Hmm, not the grill quite yet.  I must thaw steak.  Good evening.

Still awake.

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No choice.  I thought the doctor appointment was tomorrow.  At about 4:30, I checked my email.  Yeah, well, too late for me to back out fairly, to the doc.  A shower, my readings/devices, dressed, and then out.  I was nervous.  Blood sugar has drifted up, averaging 151 or so.  He was fine with that.  BP, which I lost track for these problematic days, was around 122/82 or such.

With the tester data, and the V.A. a1c, he didn't see the need for more labs today.  Cool. I do seem to be retaining water, so upping the dose on the water pill.  All good.  Should have realized to do that myself already.  I let him know i upped carvedilol, and started losartin.  I think he was impressed.  Asked me how I did it...  When I saw him two months ago, my bp was 224/126, pulse 120-145, and blood sugar hitting over 400.

Fasting, of two sorts, and care with foods.  Yeah, I think he was impressed.  I asked if he could tell I had started brushing my teeth.  He said he couldn't.  I guess I assumed I had to have bad breath.  Nope.  He said he would have remembered.  Odd, but okay.  Oh, and I asked for and received handicap tags.  I just had to get them processed.

Then to the library.  The return labels printed perfectly, quickly.  Then the package finally was sent.  Crazy.  The disability cards were obtained next.  I'll only use them rarely, when needed desperately or if gasoline is going missing at a particular place.

After four hours, in the heat, without anything to drink, my blood sugar jumped to 212 or so.  I was hurting.  Something to drink and eat quickly after returning.  Trying to make it up to mid afternoon or later, to reset the internal clock, maybe.  Rough, long, hot day.  Later, good night.

Did you ever see too far?

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Perhaps it was seeing to cosmic inheritance too soon.  Maybe seeing falsely.  Maybe one sort of corruption, or another.  I was so sure.  When I found her, I knew.  I was going places.  I was doing things.  Then I was alone.  I couldn't think.  I stopped being able to remember.  I was dead before I died, only moving forward through momentum.  Such grand momentum, it carries me to this day, from time to time, when my feet can keep me up.  I DO remember... some of it... sometimes.

Deprivation wasn't working.

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With a fasting blood sugar at 188, then the next read, two hour after... still fasting... at 202, I had to think.  What else changed?  Hmm, less fluid.  A lot less.  From two to four gallons a day to, perhaps, a gallon plus up to another half, max.  It's rather difficult to drink, for me, without at least an occasional sweetening.  And?  And cutting food.  Both based on numbers that went crazy, due to bad brots.

Okay.  So, if it was the brots, and I wrongly cut food and fluid, if I go back to drinking much more and eating the right foods regularly... could that fix it.  Fasting wasn't helping, nor was running dry.  Worth a shot, and I was tired of pushing and pulling.  So... I ate.  A goodly meal.  And started sweetening every other tea.  Within the hour, my blood sugar dropped to 183, then rose to 198, then dropped to 140 and just now down to 125.  Why do I feel like I am playing Go with my body?  Uhrm, because I am.

So?  So, dinnertime!  I've got the grill going, just to heat some already grilled meat.  As well, green beans, and three or four eggs.  Sizes vary a bit with "wild" eggs.  I think it was a lack of fluid, but food irregularity was adding to the problem.  Of course it may have been linger syrup, other issues, or a combination of knowns and/or unknowns.  It may not be solved, this could be a fluke.  Time is a distant relative to the Truth.  May do for now, soon.  Huh?  Give it a while.

I did water the front yard a bit tonight.  It is all looking a bit better, and will until the world heats back up again.  I best check the grill, put veggies on first... they take longer. I may not be a grilling godfather, or yet, but I am learning.  I will do if a true patron of the man-cooking arena is not to be found.  I know that good food isn't about my feelings, but about satisfied bellies.  I'll make it as guests, or myself if I am it, prefer... with a smile even if I have to do it over and again.  Though, too often, same one, invitation list, scratch.

Well.  Have a great evening, night.  Uhrm, morning for some of you.

Going off schedule is rough.

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No matter what, I had to go off schedule.  Either sleep or food had to be missed.  Actually, it turned out that a bit of both was lost.  I did get a full night of sleep.  Only after staying up too late.  And, a shorter sleep, between six and seven hours, heat woke me.  It's not really hot, 78 F or so, in the early afternoon.  Only 73 in here.  And, yet, you can feel the increase in intensity.  My body hates sleeping in those conditions.  Better to cut sleep shy then get heat-sleep sickness.

Fasting blood sugar is high.  Not as bad, at 168, if not great.  After four hours, after supper, my blood sugar had only gone down to 148, so I didn't end up eating again.  As well, today I will not eat until/unless blood sugar drops to 135 or less.  I don't want to fast.  If required to manage blood sugar then so be it.  It seems I can do it.  I can't do it and get much done.  But I can do it.  I am still suspicious that more is going on that appears the case.

I have been keeping up on brushing teeth, medicine, on top of other usuals.  I had to get out of bed the last two nights, to brush, and last night for medicine as well.  Both were harsh, but last night was brutal.  I don't care, as long as it gets done.  Roll, remove cat, remove blanket, roll and twist... are eyes open?  Open eyes, check.  Etc.  All good.  I sleep better with those things done.  I haven't missed a medicine back to two, maybe three Mondays ago.  Not bad.  Brushing?  I haven't missed morning and night for a month, more.  I have missed a few 'lunch' brushings, this month, two I should guess.  Not bad.

Trash today, what little there is.  A shave and shower, maybe bedding and laundry?  We'll see.  Some of it might depend on food.  I can do some, but without food, I do slow down a bit.  A lot, sometimes.  We will see.  Later.

So far so good.

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I wasn't sure what to honestly expect.  The last few meals exploded in my face.  I am more and more sure it was the brots.  Dinner was very good.  The cornish game hen was fantastic, if a bit overdone.  If I have to go more one way or the other, I prefer extra crispy, especially for fowl.  I also had a slice of beef.  Chuck roast, grilled as well, but nowhere close to overdone, if not underdone either, just right.

Blood sugar went up to 161 from 132.  It has probably risen as high as it will go, and in an hour it should be on the way back down.  If I am lucky, and it doesn't explode, it may be back down to the premeal number.  I'd really like another full meal, but I think not.  A small bowl of pistachios, or fruit.  Not more.  Then back on to bed.

I sure hope I am back on schedule.  I won't have to reschedule.  I will check everything I buy much more closely.  Corn syrup in brots?  Poisoning us, intentionally.  The meat tasted wrong, underneath.  I wonder if syrup allows them to use what should be called bad meat?  Thank you, FDA.  You should be outlawed.

Good night.  I'll write a report in the morning.

Ugh, finally.

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I have been testing frequently.  I am really not ready to fast.  As with yesterday, I set a goal, before eating.  Instead of the 150's, I lowered it to 135.  And only unsweetened tea has been consumed.  I'll do every other read, as it covers everything, and was similar to yesterday.  Fasting was 195, then 222, 161, 143.  At which time I realized  I would hit my goal, so accelerated thawing of a few things.  A final read of 132 just now.  No potatoes, no fruit and cottage cheese, just meat and corn, and a smaller meal.

I still don't exactly know what went so disastrously wrong.  The brots suggest there is only one sugar.  I don't think so.  Or something else changed.  Did I pick up a lite, rather than unsweetened?  Did they mislabel something?  Too much of something, or a mix of things?  I will see how this meal works.  If the reading is back to nearly 132 in three hours, I will have a second meal, then stay awake until the blood sugar drops to, or below, say, 135?  Or, I'll give it another hour, failing the wanted drop, I'll just go to bed.  Yeah.

I simply am not back up to being able to fast again yet.  Not of body, not of mind.  And, yet, I had a blood sugar problem.  I'll do what it takes to not be on insulin.  I don't believe doctors, they lie all the time.  Every time I offer them some trust, they fail.  No insulin.  And I'll stick with higher fats and proteins, occasionally veggies.  Salt as I desire, as usual.  Sure am hungry.  Later.

Almost.

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The first woman I could have had has been haunting my thoughts this week.  Usually these pass.  I try to ignore these sorts of thoughts, memories, or just enjoy or suffer them quietly.  I have to write about this one.  Every time I turn around, look closely at something else, or look away, there she is.  No, I will try to ease her from my mind through my blog.

She wouldn't have been my first lover, if we had gone there.  No.  What she would have been was my first love.  A very different thing.  A love is owned, a lover is had... once or several times.  She was the first possibility, as a man, to have, own, a woman.  It would have led to marriage, children.  I knew she was open to me.  I was interested.  It was a serious, often unspoken, series of events.

Ah-ha!

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I found some of the problem.  Brots, Johnsonville, they add corn syrup.  As expensive as they are...  On the good side, they were a trial, one I didn't like.  I will see if the neighbors want them.  The remaining packages are still frozen.  Yeah, but, could that still be tagging me?  I ate five, over two days.  Two, two suppers ago, one as a snack yesterday, and two for supper last night.  Maybe.  It is just odd that blood sugar keeps going up today, only drinking plain tea.  I guess I am back to fasting, at least until I hit the 130's.  Yeah, added corn syrup, and manufactured in sugar (in bread, etc) seems to really bash my diabetes, whereas adding sugar, or even having a soda, doesn't... or as much.  Something about what they add, or how they add it.

When did they start pouring sweeteners into brots?  Maybe they have for most of my life?  Are they somehow adding it to raw pork as well?  I'm not sure.  I just don't trust... anybody... at this point.  I'm throwing the rest of the pork I recently bought and cooked. I haven't had this problem with other batches bought.  Though I am not sure that is the problem, just an abundance of caution.

I was thawing a cornish game hen.  I had to go check that, and the raw pork.  Thankfully neither indicates anything other than meat.  Who ever knows anymore?  I'd like to try to grill the hen.  I'm not sure how well that will work.  If it does work it will be fantastic.  I am hoping to be eating by tomorrow.  Later.

A tough week.

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I can't say why.  It is warming, if today and yesterday is and was cooler.  But that isn't it.  I have been staying on medicine, which is usually good, if I am on a steeper dose which could be part of the problem.  Blood sugar has started running high, for no good reason.

I have completely eliminated the sweetener.  I am suspicious of the brots, perhaps ribs.  The brots are processed.  I bought sweet, but that was an assortment of Italian spices, not sugared... though perhaps that changed.  The ribs were cooked from what I presumed a raw state.  I even washed, then changed out the jar I was drinking from... which worked a bit for a bit.  I even did fasting for a while.

I am honestly suspicious of outside influences.  This, happening right before a doctor appointment, with a doc who is going to try to force insulin?  Very suspicious.  I've never had this happen when I could focus before.  I'll figure something out.  I won't let them force me onto insulin.  Oh, and with elevated blood sugar, typically cool has become hot, according to my senses.  For now, back to fasting.

After fasting, cleaning than changing out my drinking jar, the number dropped, so I thought food might then help.  Nope.  I'll have to change my appointment.  And watch my back.  Later.

Waking early is good.

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It's a tough one, this morning.  It may not be continued in the future.  It has always been the intent.  If I were simply a night-owl, I would learn to live with it.  My schedule bounces, more so when I am able, then work.  The problem isn't just sleeping to much, but can be staying awake too long and or too little.  Those things don't go together, each can be it's own problem.

I have been doing well for a bit.  My day is slipping though, slowly.  Later and later.  Actually, after this post, I have to go back to bed.  Meds have been taken, teeth brushed.  My day has been started.  Something feels off though, as if my innards slipped a quarter off track.  There is some direct discomfort, and some odd organ affects.  I hope it's just a bad day.  Milder than such events in the past, but it's been so long time since my innards hurt that it's having more of a punch.

Dreamed.  Not a pleasant one.  The evils of jealousy.  All you have to have is one more item, comparatively, for some people to be murderously jealous.  The young are greatly susceptible, if some never grow up.  I ended up getting rid of all possessions, none going to those who were thinking of murder for gain.

Another day.

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I didn't do much.  Blood sugar is higher than it should be, if easily below 200.  Still, it's being fussy.  I have started wondering if sugar is being added to something.  Something isn't adding up.  I may fast again, early.  Do what I must.

What seemed the makings of a storm rolled in.  A dry one.  The wind is gone already.  It did provide cover so as to water the lawn again.  It may simply be too sunny for the lawn to survive well here.  I'll try.  It may simply not work.  I really should put the timer out, and get a few other things in place.  Not tonight, if it is time to shut it all down.

The temp went from 88 to 65, outside, in an half hour.  I opened the cave accesses right away, but it didn't cool off any better... well, it was 75.9 yesterday, 75.6 today.  :p  I do run the ac a bit in early afternoon.  While it doesn't seem to change the temp, it does feel cooler.  Then again, all my thermometers are higher up.  I may check something the next few days.

I had to laugh.  I sensed that someone was trying to use a song I showed to suggest I was the same type of monster I was suggesting was the enemy.  I can never tell if I am dealing with an idiot, a poser who should know better, or a typical evil actor.  Letting one who is too young go is... a good thing.  I don't have to feel good about it, but I must.  At my age, in my health, finding a woman with whom to have children with is tricky, unlikely... if that is half the point.  Too young is just that, too, again.  But, anyone with half a brain and even a modicum of morality, wouldn't have an issue.  Unless they are simply stupid, or evil.

I may get to bed earlier tonight.  It's about time, if so.   Almost.  Good night.

A strange morning and night.

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As for the night, a dream.  Most, actually all, monsters either can't (usually) or won't (rarely) be able to see just what kind of monster they are.  Only, I suspect, those who were once powerfully on the side of good... who kept themselves clean, knowing both sin and virtue exceedingly well... may be able to still see their own faults.  They simply refuse, for... pride?  March, if you know it and wish to show it, I suppose.

In my dream, I saw the nature of the monsters which are the most common threat.  Addled with hungers, addictions, lusts, none of which can be satisfied, and the women who live much like them, refusing to sate lusts, merely egging their pseudo men on with  lust invoking but unloving, or simply crass but unsatisfying, approval behaviors.

Of course, there is their dark lord.  Even when I walked in darkness, he was not my lord.  To the powerful, he is not a king, just a greater, the greatest, betrayer.  The king of fools?  I think that is how he was known by me and my kind.  The oldest any of us knew, until... until God... became known to a few, and worshipped by fewer still.  There is him.  He isn't the earthly threat.  For now.  It is his knowing and willing minions.  Again, for now.

Watering, food, and remembering a dream.

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Not much, if pushing creates *stars*.  That is not nearly as severe as it was yesterday, if enough to keep my plans simple.  The yard really needs water.  Longer tonight, and longer Saturday.  Longer until I see solid results.  The side yards are better.  I may look into smaller indigenous shade trees.  Something to give the front yard a chance.  Perhaps evergreens of some sort.  We have a brutal sun here.  Wow, that water is C O L D though.

Blood sugar isn't great.  BP has been good.  Another meal is about to get going.  Pieces of pork rib, crisped on the grill, and eggs.  Perhaps milk, though definitely cottage cheese and a few slices of peach.  Those unsweetened canned fruits are truly a treat.  Convenient, no hits on blood sugar, not expensive, with a can lasting out five meals over a week.  Almost anything is edible, just a matter of dosing.  Except added sugar, corn syrup, or such.  I may try a roll tonight.  They may add sugar, but not include it on the ingredient list, a common treachery.

Personally, I think the government knows, approves, pushes, such.  We need to end both public sector unions and lifetime bureaucratic positions and the safety of those jobs, be able to fire anyone in the government for even a hint of corruption, impropriety, or just being assholes.  They have forgotten who they work for.

Ah, the dream.  I saw him leave.  I thought it was after she fell.  And there is another woman to go.  Which is when, who, is another matter.  If the left is crazy now, rabid soon.  That can, will, be handled.  Amen.

It got to 88 today, by early to mid afternoon.  It was 73 F in here, until late afternoon when the house finally surrenders a bit, and hit 75, nearly 76.  Almost as soon as the sun drops, for now, the temp plunges.  It is 62 and probably still falling.  Everything gets opened and the fans continue their tiresome but beloved job.  I am enjoying summer a lot more.  With diabetes and bp more controlled, the heat is much easier to live with.

Later.  Perhaps good night.

Another opportunity.

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Is there ever a better time than now to start, start over, start again?  Actually, is there any other time?  Now or never isn't wisdom, merely a truth... given the constraints on time with which we are faced.  Even if you don't begin now, it is only now, in awareness, when plans may be formulated, and some current or future now when those plans may be implemented.  It's... always now... when one plans or does.

So, plans for today?  Same plans as yesterday, minus what has been done.  ;p  It's too early for recall.  Though another shower, maybe a quick shave, might be good.  I already cleaned the litter box and topped off their dry food.  Time to see if Sam wants out.  I try to hit litter at least twice a day.  It pays... litter lasts longer and odor is controlled... especially since I can and do vent daily, while it is cooler.

I experimented with the ac upstairs.  One tiny ac does the trick.  I thought it might help cool the downstairs, but nope.  So...  Actually I may buy another, but not for up there.  Perhaps for in the north-facing laundry room, one with a timer, to run in the mid afternoon, daily.  Just a bit of a boost to cooling.  A few hours is all it should take.  And a few hours in the bedroom as I go to sleep, better started an half hour before sleep.

It's only 72, but for some reason it seems hot this morning.  At 9:30, it was 65 F outside, but the sun was blazing.  I closed everything down.  I have two fans going.  I don't want to run ac until it hits 74.  Why do I feel so hot?  A shower may help.  Though even cool showers end up heating me up, sometimes, often.

No stars, at least so far.  When I shave and shower I'll know.  A mild... headache type thing, but different.  I'm definitely chalking that up to fasting, it's similar to one of the mild complaints from while fasting.  There are several, but so mild as to be easily ignored.  Just mentioned now because it is occurring outside of fasting, which is unusual.  I think strong heat, or severe cold, probably extremes of any kind, don't go well with fasting.  No worries, just something to consider when fasting in the future.  Yes, fasting is a permanent part of my life.  Always has been, just... now it is controlled.

I'm doing bp with my waking-fasting blood draw, roughly two hours after waking.  It will give medicine time to work.  Eating will be after the blood draw four hours after that.  I may eat as hunger dictates for the next six hours (roughly for now, four to eight hours as needed until I can tighten, then take it down to a four hour food period, as my regular consumption rules).  Yeah.  Fasting and feasting, sinning and saintliness, it is the way of those whom I have sought more understanding.  Want better?  Here?  Living with both is... even if you don't sin, it's all around.  Actually, by not sinning one becomes insane, according to the world.  Probably why I am so hated at the V.A.  Or they think I follow up on my notions... if I doubt that is the problem.

On to waking.  Good morning and day.
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Somone... remembers... the gig?

Just a bit.

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Freshly grilled meat is too delectable for me to pass upon.  Just a bit, with mustard.  It took my blood sugar to 119, which is lower than any fasting read, I believe.  Still, I am chalking these up to fasting.  Another reason to eat is because something is really off.  The 'stars' are back.  I feel nearly dazed and confused.

Not sure what the problem is.  I know it isn't dehydration, hunger issues, low blood sugar... bp is 119/77, with a pulse of 80.  I think that is a record, for the second number?  Close if not.  Perhaps my body just isn't made to have such low numbers, or isn't used to it.  My body is really off, that is for sure.

I will rest pretty soon.  Perhaps that, with the food, will put things to rights.  I sure hope so.  Could it just be the heat?  It feels heat related.  Nah.  I was feeling this when it was just 70, this morning, which passes for chilly around here recently.  I just don't know.  I sure need sleep.  Good night.

Well?

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Food helped, a bit.  A drive to town, shopping.  A few new things, a few things I was running low on, regular items.  Even with food, the trip was tough.

I knew the meal I had was going to destroy my blood sugar read.  Jammed it, after two to three hours, up to 99.  Wha?  I've been fasting for half a week and didn't come close to that.  So I break fast with enough food for two meals and hit the jackpot?  I'm telling you, it just doesn't make sense.  Grilling brots and pork ribs.  I might have a nibble, but most of it is for the rest of the week.  Chop and heat with eggs, grill again and eat with mustard, perhaps on a bun.  Hmm, might make an egg casserole with bits and parts.  Life is good, more so when, if, you do your part.  I am trying.

Ugh.  Hot, tired, but... pleased.  I'll keep at it.  Good night.

To work I must eat.

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I could continue my fast.  I can't continue my fast and work.  I hit a wall.  Seeing stars a bit too frequently, just doing minor things... showering and shaving, then almost anything outside.  It isn't terribly hot, 85 F and dry.  It is hot enough that being outside is slightly taxing, generally.  Saw stars, so stopped my efforts and returned to my chair.

Choices.  Though not really.  I have things I must do.  Obviously not today.  Food won't work that fast.  Tomorrow or the day after.  I have things which have to be done, inside, out, and business.  A choice that isn't. On the good side, I was able to fast well this time.  The Thursday after the next I may try to hit five days.  It seems even my schedule has limits.

I could drive, just not work.  Dinner is on.  Later.

A great start to a new day.

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Up late might be the only complaint.  But not by when I went to bed.  Late, very late, to bed.  Season lag?   More sun, more heat, harder to even remember to sleep.  I'll work on it.  I haven't been needing the ac or fan, which is incredible.  Perhaps turning those on for a bit, to help sleep earlier and more quickly?  Yes.  But to remember to do so, then follow through?  If I can learn to brush my teeth again, it's possible.

Dishes were reset, teeth brushed, cat litter tended, Sam was let out right off.  At 10:00, it was just around 70 F... going to be a warm one.  All good.  With the watering timer set and seemingly functional, I'll get that set up.  Dishes, bedding, and laundry remain.  Well, there is always more.  I'll do some named and some unnamed.

Fasting blood sugar was better, at 123.  BP was superior, at 119/94 p. 74.  Actually before medicine, right off the flattop.  *zoom*  It's the fourth day fasting, doing well.  Doing exceptionally well.  I am certain to make it to five days?  How about fourteen days?  We'll see.  Those are eventual goals, just to see.  If they work, perhaps a twenty one day fast.  If I succeed with that, it may become a yearly lent observance, with three-day fasts every other week and daily fasting as a general rule?  Aye.  Yes.

Best to shave and shower today.  I am pleased with the direction and velocity of this week.  Even with fasting it is going well.  There are always more tasks, jobs, chores, duties, responsibilities, and opportunities than time, for now.  But that is half the beauty of the gig.  You carve your face into a block of reality with the choices of the usage of your time, becoming what you do, if only parents and the holy transcend.  Amen.

Hmm.  Shut up.  ;)  I suppose a shower and shave, in case the boss shows up with keys and time.  Then to just wake via gaming.  Later.

Some of the plan.

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Through the third day of fasting, I honestly wasn't sure if anything would get done.  I saw stars a few times.  More a bp, or pulse, thing than glucose.  My pulse did go up to 65 by midday.  BP was middling okay.  Bleh.  I haven't checked it yet tonight as I just remembered medicine... want to give it an half hour or hour to work.  Blood sugar is better, now that I am limiting sweetener, at 114.  

I got all the watering done before it got dark.  Nasty dry out there.  Despite reviews, or maybe because of old ones, the watering timer actually works without waiting a week.  I wonder, if they fixed that, perhaps more than one of the four outlets can be used at once?  No, I think that failed when I was tinkering, if that was manual.  I may experiment.  I hit the yard in two shots.  I don't have enough functioning garden hoses for a single pass, nor water pressure probably.  So, for now, it is as it is.  I plan to order two more hoses this next month, hundred footers.  That and repair a few.

I also did dishes, almost.  Two washes.  Rinsing now.  Won't finish them tonight.  Pulled weeds while out there, picked up sticks, made an effort to fix one of the hoses as well.  Lots of standard things too, like feeding the girls, tending their litter, oh and got the trash and recycling barrels pulled back.  Yeah, not bad.  Not all planned, but that wasn't... likely.  I am a bit surprised and pleased.  A gift to and from God.  To His glory.  Hmm, something about... to He Who has, more shall be given?  As below, so above?  I suspect.  Good night.

Oh, bp is 139/99, p. 76.  Good night.

The satisfaction of hearing success.

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It took until nearly 3:00 for me to get trash and recycling collected, to the bins, then the bins out for pickup.  I was honestly beginning to think I would time out.  Sometimes I literally cannot function after some point, or for various reasons.  I was pushing, it worked.  It is more exhausting to push and do nothing than to simply do it, but if I can't, I can't.  The satisfying rumble of one, maybe both, refuse trucks, the sound of the breaks, rumble of the engine, clanks of the lift arms, as I remained just that side of sleep, satisfied in knowing I did not miss another trash day, chore, duty.  Odor, in and out, has been managed.  Then drifting back down to a kind rest.

Sam did wake me again.  I "forgot" to close the door.  It was half that, half being undecided... wanting to see what she would do.  She gave me a bit longer in the day, if pushing my actual sleep time.  Letting me sleep in to 9:30, if cutting sleep time to six hours, plus up to an half hour.  I'm tres bon with that.  I'm liking my little living teddy bear girl cat alarm.

Fasting blood sugar is a wee high, at 145.  We'll see if sweetener control helps today.  BP is... weird, 151/89, pulse 40!?!  I... have snuck in extra carvedilol, two by 6.25 mg, in the mornings.  I have been on four times that amount, which wasn't sustainable.  Now I know why.  They were trying to murder me.  Good to know.  I've just started.  Would like to give it a few days to week to settle out.  It's the pulse that concerns me.  I had been on a single extra in the morning for two weeks, with pretty much no effect.  I've only been on the current dose for two or three days.  Ah, weighing in at 252.

A shower, some calls, dishes, bedding, and laundry?  It's a plan.  Fasting will continue.  Feeling good with fasting so far today.  I need to remember bullion or broth the next time I shop.  Oh, and watering again.  I can hit the food type greens a bit after noon, when the sun is cut by the roof.  The rest must wait until long shadows fall.  Perhaps earlier, and with better zone planning.  Ugh.  I hate doing stupid, but sometimes it has to happen.  Ah, such a low pulse may play a part.

Hmm.  A shave and shower as a first, beside already brushing teeth, meds, and blog runs.  Now for tea and a spot of gaming.  Good day, chuckle-heads.  Blessings, wise thoughts, and stupid grins.  Later.

Is it?  Innit.  Of course.

Watering the green growy things.

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Took longer than anticipated.  I kept finding dry patches.  Didn't help that it was getting, then got, dark.  Still, I finally got it all.  I may hit it tomorrow, briefly, then every other then third day.  Yeah, it's a pattern, that will fit in a week; Monday, Wednesday, Saturday... an half hour per.  The front and side lawn needed it desperately, which is why a quick splash tomorrow will happen.  I got the garden stuff yesterday.  It was still looking good, only gets sun half the day.  It'll get hit tomorrow too.

Not much else done.  While late, I will get the trash and recycling out.  Recycling is mostly out.  I'll take the bag I've been using, mostly just to be tidy, and for odor management.  Trash.  It... there isn't much, but out it will go also.  At least the effort should be easy.  Should be.  My body doesn't want to, I don't want to.  I will.

Blood sugar was elevated much of the day.  I realized I have been drinking a lot of artificial sweetener.  I usually use it in half my tea.  Lately I've been using more and every time.  I cut that, and... bingo.  I'll have to both cut volume and frequency.  No problem.  Now I know, and that is a relief.  I was beginning to think... something broke, permanently.  Not sure if blood sugar is, or how close of a, glucose model it is.  Not sure if everything that affects one affects the other?  Do they know?  BP is ranging lower to lower middling.  Bleh.

Fasting is doing well.  I was tested earlier.  Popcorn really sounded good.  Powerful, the temptation, but short lived.  No?  No!  My leg is doing better.  I did find my regular vitamins.  I took the minerals off daily, but kept extra in the cycle four days a week.  I may go back down to thrice weekly if the leg does well enough for long enough.

Health habits are taking hold.  Medicine, brushing teeth, taking readings.  Oh, must add foot lotion, which ends up getting hands, arms, knees, and elbows.  The leg is doing much better, but it's not quite there.  I may add Listerine in, for lunch gargling.  It and my other do different things.  Docs, of the dental varietal, want me to use both but resigned their hope to the main one I use.  I am hoping the new kind will help.

I best get the refuse collected and out.  Sam has her work cut out for her tomorrow morning.  I may shut the door?  Good night.

I have the quad timer set up.

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Mostly.  I have two zones ready.  The odd thing is that the system will only allow one zone to run at a time.  Usually water pressure is a bit high.  I am considering using just one zone, with a splitter.  I don't need to water the back.  A benefit of allowing someone to farm grasses back there. Probably the side yard in time.  For now I have the side and front yard.  The water pressure should be enough for both.

I plan to water more often, but for short runs.  Once I have it set and going, I'd like to put grass seed out, then do that again this fall, everywhere it has become sparse or worse.  Then put up barriers so those areas don't get mowed.  If weeds appear, either pull by hand or use the weed whip.  I'm never sure what variables might be in play, so which solutions could do.  Tick-tock.  I just know I need to water.

I actually will water manually this week, or until I hear the timer working.  I have heard it takes a week to activate, switching it to manual will reset the cooldown.  I'll see.  No problem doing it manually until I am sure it is working.  Annoying, but every timer out there has bugs or limits.  I don't understand why they can't, or won't really, simplify.  I suppose engineers up to snuff for that get paid a lot more to do more important things.

BP was a bit high, blood sugar popped up then dropped ten points.  My body seems to be ignoring my fast, or doing it's best to do so.  Blood sugar went from 128 to 160/165 to 150, well into the second day without food.  Nutz.  BP is sometimes higher, if mostly better.  I am beggining to feel the pain... just starting to feel hunger.  Perhaps a nap?  Later.

Sam has decided to wake me?

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I don't know if this is a local fad or if it will become a regular thing.  She shaved sleep a little tight this morning.  But being up earlier is... good.  I wouldn't mind her pushing my wake back to 5:00 or 6:00.  She doesn't get fed any earlier, or even let out.  But she does get positive reinforcement in the forms of petting, mild itching, and massage.  And this lets her know she is top cat.  She is often in the dog house, so this pleases her.  She likes... to be liked.

Fasting blood sugar, through yesterday, started high, went higher, then started coming down the last two draws... 150ish, a couple 160's, a 140, then a high 120.  It is 128 this morning.  BP is a bit better, but increased from middling to the bad numbers by bedtime.  I am taking medicine and change.  It was on the lower end of my usual range this morning.  Odd thing is that my pulse has dropped into the 70's, almost every time, except last night, for days.

Fasting is going very well.  No pains or... what I call... withdrawal symptoms, yet.  While I do need food, I am also prone to addiction.  As are we all, I believe.  Born to eat, poop, and die.  Thank God for commas!  And you thought my jokes weren't funny.  Uhrm, I sincerely hope that's funny to you.  I suppose there must be proof all cultures aren't equal if not.  Here's to laughing at you, kid!

My mom called.  I missed but called her back.  This time it worked.  It seems she is moving.  Out by August seems the plan.  I don't know that I can make it, but I may try.  Perhaps for the last week or two?  If, that is, I can make it.  Gas one way, one month, the other way the next month.  Got to have a cool place to sleep though.  Still not sure.  Maybe.

Medicine, brushing, stats and blood tests, all becoming routine... for now.  Fasting becoming easier, so far.  Pretty tired though.  Which, if I can keep up while exhausted, there is that.  Now to add a bit of work and exercise in.  This is a very good downtime.  I am yet hoping for a better uptime, perhaps an extended one.

I ordered a few more parts for watering the lawn.  I looked in town, to the limits of my ability.  If it's not even there, I can't buy it.  I'm watching my money.  Slipping just a bit, if I put more in this month than there was last month.  I really need to open a saving account.  What I don't see...  Just for emergency and home repair use to keep it in check.  No use to save when value is lost through interest versus inflation... just another form of theft.  Worse than loan interest, especially credit cards.  They took mine away because I paid it quickly.  Now my account is my positive "credit card balance".  I am laughing all the way to the bank.  Except for interest theft.

Later.