Nearly miraculous.

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Miraculous?  I'd... have to say so.  Started late, moving slow, but when I got the groove...

First, of course, a shower.  No big thing there, but... it... took a while and a lot.  Then on to the grainery.  I picked up enough for... a while.  Twelve bags of various feed.  No help there, but it was close.  At home... I decided to unload what I could.  I was... nervous.  Six bags out back.  Three of those mixed into the active feed barrel.  Then a rabbit feed in on the back porch.  Was getting low.

Not sure I could go on, but... was... feeling okay?  So, the last five bags into the garage, hoisted a bit in hopes rodents can't get to it... or... easily.  Hmm.  Really?  I... think it is the kefir.  I really do.  That, alone, might not even have been possible for the last year.  Well, on to town, for a bit of grocery shopping, and else.  That is that for spending, it looks like.  I might be able to eek through the month.

As well, something I had heard about.  A two in one 18 gauge nailer and stapler, for ~$30... plus expendables.  Still, worth it for me.  So I don't have to beg the neighbors.  Does it work well?  I will find out.  As well, they had some bigger screwdrivers!  I have been hankering for those for a while.  Their biggest was in a set, but the ala carte were far bigger than any I have currently.  Why big screwdrivers?  They are the next best thing to bigger hammers... from deconstruction to mechanics to... other things.

Finally, on my way home, I wanted more milk.  My kefir is doing well, but, currently, I am eating it almost faster than I can make it.  I will do so for another week or two, then, hopefully, settle into a lower rate of consumption.  But the stuff, I'm telling you, is doing incredible things!  On almost any given day, for the last year, any single part of any single project would have done me in for a week.  I just pulled off four or five days of work.  

Just finding the milk farm, on my own, at dusk and beyond, was more than I would have attempted.  I even saw the sign, not from a mile away, but from the turnoff.  Couldn't have read it, five feet away, but I can see it a couple miles away!  :)  Oh, what a day.  I may even take another shower yet tonight.  Then set dishes up?  I can hope.

I need to call the V.A., make sure a blood test is still available.  And they called to set up another appointment with the doc?  Okay.  I'll call about that, too.  The earliest I can get in, for blood work, is Monday.  I... am a bit shot.  But that doesn't mean I am quitting.  I am hoping to, possibly, do some work tomorrow on the feeder box.  And maybe some other parts of the cages.  As well, perhaps, set up the outbuilding boxes, putting a few in if I can get to that.

Ah, but... quite a good day.  I may not be able to do anything tomorrow... or for a few days.  If I can, I will.  That is why I don't plan on a trip to SL City for a while.  I'll do what little things I can, or rest if really needed.  But, yea.  It pleases my little dark heart to push until I bleed.  My heart is sore tired.  My muscles are all burning.  My neck and shoulders are stiff, to the point of starting up a headache.  Pleasing.  And, all any glory garnered from said is to Him.  I... think it pleases Him.  Amen.

A late morning.

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I may be losing the day, but I am improving in very odd ways.  My vision?  Well, it isn't improving, itself.  What seems to be improving is eye fluid.  When I drink a lot of tea, then pee it all out, it sort of steals the fluid in all parts of my body.  A dry throat (if I stop drinking), dry eyes, probably drier skin.  All that liquid just shoots through, pulling fluid from everywhere else.  The kefir... allows me to drink a lot less actual liquid.

While kefir is rather fluid, sometimes more than milk, though often a cross between milk and yogurt, it has a lot of... bits.  Whether smaller, as pebbles or even grains of sand (albeit made of dairy, bacteria, and yeast rather than hard minerals), or bigger clumps like slivers of chalk or cauliflower like growths of rather larger size (as overdone medium flowerets) (as well, both made of dairy rather than their various counterparts), it is more like eating than just drinking.  Further, when some of this hits the stomach, it changes.  I think it grows, and expands, within the tight confines of the various organs it passes through?  It sure acts as roughage, so I suspect so.

While I do get fluid with this, it isn't the same as drinking simple water or tea.  Those just shoot right through, mostly, especially at the volume I had been consuming tea.  Up to three to four gallons a day, now down to, say, a gallon to a gallon and an half... so more than an half reduction.  As well, I am eating better.  Not always the perfect foods, but better foods and heading to even better foods than of recent.

I can't always go the absolute keto dietary path.  I can only do just so much.  If I am cleaning, doing business, and doing extra with the rabbits or ducks, I don't always have time to cook properly.  Sometimes I just don't have anything extra... beyond simple chores.  I lead a small life.  Still, it is better to eat something, even the wrongthings, than to eat nothing.  So... I eat... if I have the coin for it.  Bleh.

But, this kefir, beyond being a drink replacement, and food, is also helping with bodily liquid balances.  And, it covers a bit when I don't have other right foods.  As well, regularity on this stuff is absolutely amazing.  But my eyes... my sore, tired, dry, eyes are coming around.  I won't ever see extremely well, but I can see as good as I can see or I can see worse.  Seeing better is much better.

Warming the waterers, treated the girls, will get their litter sorted before getting to other chores.  A shower, dishes set up, and after a break, cleaning the area for dishes to air dry.  Maybe a nap in a bit.  Ugh.  Later.

Oh, you tease, flirt, jest...

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Echoes of others?  I... don't think so.  A warning or threat... or offer... more like.

To it!

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I got the call, to the ssa.  The primary rejection, and reconsidered rejection, letters are being sent.  How soon?  Who knows.  Soon.  I'll check Friday.  But, very good.  The call didn't take too long, and it wasn't complicated.  I'll take it.

Now, if I can do it, I might get the pork ribs.  Today, or tomorrow, though I am hoping today.  But what with it?  I just don't know.  A can of veggies, or... what?  I'll figure it out.

I am still feeling pretty good.  I'd like to hit dishes.  I will see in a bit.  Still moving slowly, though... with some hope.  I have checked on the critters.  I look out from time to time.  Not purely out of concern.  It is as much because I enjoy the critters.  They are friends, for my part.  As a good friend, I try to stay out of their way.

I am planning to call my mother again today.  She was tired, napping, yesterday.  If she needs more sleep today, I will let it go, and wait for her to call me when she is able.  No worries.  She is... aging.  I just hope her naps are pleasant, as with her dreams.  Good day.

Are you sure you want to play this game?

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Someone sees.  Knows?  Or... suspects, most likely.  And so it goes.

Good morning.

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Difficult to wake this morning.  The sun isn't out.  Dark days make it difficult to wake.  Still, awake and going for things.  As I was dressing, I began making plans.  First thing, simply, was turning up the furnace for a bit, and putting the waterers out to warm up.  As well, I grabbed a few treats for the girls.  Oh, and I finally remembered to pull the ac's upstairs.  Yea...

I had feared the ac's might be full of water.  I wasn't sure where to put them.  I didn't know this, I wasn't sure about that, and else!  Then?  I simply forgot.  I pulled the first and... it sits in the area easily.  There is a very long sill?  Something.  Anyway, it pulled very easily, and can stay in place.  The other one was the same.  That... may well help cut my bill.  As well, it cut the sounds of vehicles.  Oh... such a fool.  But... live and learn.  And enjoy what you can.

A call, today.  A shower before long.  Dishes later.  Chores in an hour, giving the waterers time to warm.  I will call my mom, again, today.  Just to let her know she is on my mind, and I am concerned for her.  She is having surgery in the spring.  I offered to visit, somehow, and help her.  But she... thinks she has that covered.  It wasn't an empty offer, but she has a good situation.  So...

As well, I have been thinking about kefir.  After a few days, I was beginning to wonder if the acidity was just too much.  It was... definitely... changing things in there.  I liked most of it, but felt the acidity might be becoming too much.  I have been having three drinks a day.  Which... might be too much?  I kept thinking, wondering, and continuing anyway, the last few days.

I figured a few things out.  First?  Only have a larger portion if using it as a stand-alone meal.  Nearly sixteen liquid ounces is fine twice a day.  Second, having a smaller amount before any other meal really helps digestions.  Further, I suspect it helps non-keto, non-diabetic friendly meals, digest better and seem much more friendly.  It... changes the whole board.  Not that I should eat those things, only... it helps when I fail.  What it does for keto and diabetic friendly foods is boosts their function into the stratosphere.

A bit odd and rough.

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I have been doing bits and pieces, making calls, eating as rightly as possible.  I am making plans.  A business call tomorrow, soup tonight or tomorrow, dishes... a bit as I go, and of course tending the critters... feathered, furry... hairless... well... I still have a head of hair... and a bit more.  *blush*   Anywhile.  I actually think I am doing better, if not quite perfect.

Oh, medicine will be set up and started tonight or tomorrow.  Eating keto helps, but it can make some things... like insulin... a bit dangerously slick.  I do have carb tabs, a few stacks.  But... that can go really fast.  Ah, I need to get to the feed store tomorrow, as well.  Ugh.  So many things, but... I think, in pieces and parts, I can get there.

A bit more.

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My brother called.  Funny thing, I was going to call him, but thought it was late.  Actually, it was too early, when I went to call him.  Now I know.  I had thought his state wasn't on the daylight savings program, but it is.  I asked about their last homestate, but, no, they had it there too.  The time difference is constant, good to know.  We had a good talk.

I then called my mother.  She was napping.  I asked if we could talk later.  She thought that was a good idea.  I can tell when she is tired.  I am tired too, just... it isn't dragging me down, quite yet.  No worries.  I'll try to be the one to call my brother next time... in a week or so.  We are running out of new events and things, but... perhaps we can talk about worries and else... just... talk.

We made it around some things.  I won't be taking the jab, especially if they try to mandate it.  He, and my mother, have or will take them as soon as they can get them.  They are true believers.  Whatever the news says, they... pretty much follow.  It's always been that way.  From when I was a kid.  I never... quite fit in.  That was tolerated, but just.  They wanted to go along to get along.  I had no interest in such.  Yea, it was... difficult, for both sides.  I have always walked alone.  Not (or just) because I was right, but because I simply see things differently and choose what is right, wise, better, if only just for me.  But that is too much.  They want an authority to tell them what is good, right, and then to follow that.  Not too... uncommon, actually.  Pretty typical.  I, in truth, am the problem.  I know this, but it is my way.

I won't be able to call today.  Tomorrow, almost certainly.  I must admit, the start of keto, mostly, through kefir, and soup shortly, and the meat crumble and else, is beginning to help.  I am hoping I can set up a few monthly medsets tomorrow, maybe today, as well.  Adding in particular vitamins and minerals, which I had partially set up before.  Bit by bit, I think life might be coming back into a sort of better function.

As well, the kitchen and bathroom are beginning to be sorted out.  Just little bits, each day, on top of chores.  It's a slow process, but something is coming back into play.  A bit more sun the last few days has helped.  It is a joy to have the sky sparkly smile, after being gone for a longer time.  It almost feels like spring.  If I suspect we are far from it.  How to enjoy a moment, without becoming dependent upon it?  Well... it's to have hope, faith, charity, but an realistic understanding as well.

All good.  Still full from lunch, but I might steal just a touch more of kefir.  Check the cat litter, look out and watch the birds for just a bit, then take a nap.  I am hoping to hit dishes this afternoon, and maybe take a shower.  It's a handsome day out there.  Oh... I have added an extra medium waterer to the mini does, to see if that helps.  They are drinking so much!  If I must, I may have to add another large waterer.  I'll... do it for them.  I want them with as much water as they desire.  I don't think it is bad for them.  Later.

Tricks, hints, tips.

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Okay, not original to me, but they work or don't, at least for me.

I have been having problems with my tea jugs smelling, the ones from which I drink.  The refrigerator storage jars do just fine.  Better if I clean them from time to time, both, but even so, the drinking jugs... I have had great difficulty getting that... sour, moldy, smell out.  Someone suggested efferdent... a cleaner for dentures.

I suspect it is the plastic bits, not the metal (which does seem like stainless), which holds the bacteria and mold, thus odor.  And, that stuff works on plastics usually kept in the mouth.  So, perhaps, there was a possibility.  One of my jugs is an half gallon, the other is half that... a quart.  So it would take a goodly lot of packs.  Still, I ordered them.

They arrived several days ago, but the effort wasn't on my schedule and I have so much else going, that... I had to add it in slowly.  Finally, last night, I put enough tabs to make the water and else spirt through the closed cap... think giant sippy cups.  Right up and out through, which I guessed would clean parts unseen.  However, that... taste... you either like it or gag at it.  I'm near to gagging at it, just me maybe, but...  Still, I let them soak overnight, turning them and shaking them from time to time.

Then, right before chores, I put baking soda in, then charged that with vinegar, and let it spout through the straw opening again.  Then I let that set while doing chores, and then taking a break.  Finally, around lunch, I rinsed them well, thoroughly, and several times, until any odd smell was gone... or seemed so.  I was a bit nervous about the first tea.  Now, there is a very mild minty efferdent flavor.  But so mild I usually miss it.  No issue.  And, to my nose, for now, it seems clean of the other moldy smell.  Now, I think, I just need to do that once a month or even every two weeks.  It seems to work.

And efferdent doesn't cost a lot.  I paid, like, $6, and received 226 tabs in sheets of eight.  Hmm, that doesn't seem to come out to an even number of sheets.  Odd.  Anyway, there are 28 sheets and some, of eight each.  The big jug... I used eight tabs (though will only use six next time.  And the little jug I used three, but will just use two next time.  So, that will last me a couple of years!

Further, I may not need to clean as often as I suggest.  The problem was that I had not cleaned these jugs for years.  Yea, it... catches up.  After, I had a taco salad for lunch.  Not bad.  There are a few other things I am trying that seem to be working.  Life isn't perfect.  But if you keep it small enough, try little changes from time to time, and keep on top plus remember... it does get better, even if you are busy dying and close enough to spit in Death's face.  Not that I would, to be honest.  Death... is my oldest friend, at this point.

Later.

Ugh, oof, and such.

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Oh, well, a pleasant morning.  I am just still sleepy, very sleepy.  Not sleepy enough to stay asleep, in spite of being so very sleepy.  Not tired, not exhausted, just sleepy.  I woke at 08:00, and couldn't get up.  I didn't want to sleep the whole day, so I set the alarms for 09:00 and 11:00.  I woke fifteen minutes later, turned them both off so I didn't have this dread in my mind, and went on back to bed.

Here, at 08:58, I find myself quite awake, and laughing.  I am happy to be awake, pleased at the time, just... the circumstances leave me chuckling.  At or with myself though, that... I can't answer.

The vehicles, shoving through.  Can tell it is Monday.  You can tell which vehicles are late.  No one, otherwise, is in a hurry to go back to work.  Do you remember when we dreamed of what we would do when we grew up?  No one thought they would be rushing to work, hoping they aren't late one more time... to a job they often hate.  But food... table.  Further on, I never thought I would be stuck at home, listening to traffic, wishing I was a part of it.

Thick-necked bastards?  It's the only way to make a dime.  You drive your flesh until it dies or breaks.  Better to die.  If it breaks, it's... hard to kill.  Though, in time, for moments, even that can be endured.  Oh, not a whine.  Just a note.  I'm over whining.  Doesn't help, isn't fun, and life, even now, is worth more than being reduced to complaining.  It just won't ever be what you thought, or even think, it will be.  Enjoy what you can, endure what you don't enjoy, and get out and do your best... even if that isn't much.

I know have four half gallon jars of kefir going.  As soon as I make some room, I'll probably add another, keeping one as a deeper reserve.  Of the four active, I will pull a morning and night draught.  Then fill with milk, leave out a day or two, then put back in at the back of the line.  The reserve will be pulled for similar every other rotation... to keep it fresh and sharp.  If a particular jar starts looking a bit rough, I will empty it into a clean jar and go on.  I... need more half gallon jars.

I have cut tea jars to three, but am using five for kefir, so there is no savings of jars.  Four more, for reserves for whatever, plus a few extra.  As to pickling, say of onions, I do believe those will go into quart or pint jars.  I just don't eat enough of those.  Hmm, I wonder if there is a level of too many probiotics?  My guess is it would begin pushing food through, without taking in nutrients.  I sort of get the feeling that it continues to bubble while in the gut, which allows it to act as roughage.  On top of what all else it does in there, chemically, perhaps mechanically.

Kefir was rather thin, this morning.  Somedays it will be.  If I think this is one of the kefirs which I just used and refilled.  Fine.  It won't usually be like that, once I create a proper rotation.  It is still pretty good, if the milk isn't as broken down as would be best.  Like I said, I am just starting to develop a rotation which will mean only kefir which has worked for four days will be consumed... one to three days on the counter, one to three days in the fridge.

I forgot to put the burger up, but I did cover it.  I turned the furnace up to get the waterers warmed.  I set an alarm to know when those will be ready.  Then I do chores and will put the burger up.  I best put out the chicken, to warm to room temp and get shredded.  Soup will begin later today.  Lots of mushrooms, plenty of veggies, of several sorts, life will be good.  I am hoping to have that ready by this afternoon or evening.

As well, a phone call.  Dishes to be started again.  Hmm, perhaps other things.  Yes.  The week has started.  It is Monday for even me.  No escaping Monday.  It doesn't hurt, anyway.  And it's not a bad day.  It would be slightly better if I could get beyond that want of sleep.  Later.

Late, for good reason.

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Chicken is finished, and put away.  Burger... a mix of ground beef, pork, and turkey, is finished, and served as a taco salad.  No real heat added, just not in the mood.  It has to be put up, and will be.  Then to bed.  It's more a matter of... getting going.  I cleaned the dutch oven I used for the chicken, and will hit the pan with the beef.  Just a simple wipedown, mostly to remove moisture.

The girls are being weird, so I am not going to let them up tonight.  Sassy... can be a real annoyance.  I'm not sure why they do it some times, then not for a long time.  Oh well.  They do get the hint.  Though, to be honest, it seems that they know they have annoyed me.  Often they ignore my fits.  This time?  Sassy actually had guilt in her eyes.  That helps, but it won't change me locking them out for a bit.  Three or four days, then we'll see.  She has been so good for weeks.  I just don't get it.

Food for the rabbits is prepped, most of the trash is out.  I had to hide trash from tonight, or Sam was getting into it.  I just don't get it.  It's as if the girls are starving.  I assure you, they are not.  Though, with Sam, anything chicken, and much else I cook, she... really wants some.  I didn't even have chicken tonight, so...  And I gave her some of my last bites of my taco salad, saving only the meat.  She enjoyed, but still wanted that chicken.  She is a fiend for cooked chicken.

Well, on to put the meat crumble up, then on to bed.  Good night.

No nap.

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And sleep won't be early.  I am going to bake chicken, then fry a mix of ground meat.  The chicken will be put up, overnight, then left to warm tomorrow... so I can pull it off the bone.  A terrible task, if it's cold and slimy.  So, as said, left out to warm a bit through the morning.  The burger will make for supper tonight.  A taco salad.  I really don't get bored with those.  The rest will be bagged and used for various things through the week.

Actually, even as good as I have gotten at making baked chicken, I like it so much better in soup that I am not going to bother having even a single portion of the hindquarter.  It just isn't as good.  Fried?  Yeah, maybe.  But I can't have properly fried, and my keto versions just don't cut it.  Soup... stew hopefully actually, will do.

Tomorrow, if I do what is needed, I will have a rack of ribs.  Oh, not all at once.  I will bake it, just before being done, then finish it on the grill.  I'd love to have gotten to a keto ketchup, from which to derive a keto barbeque sauce, but that just hasn't happened yet.  Then again, I do have dirty keto ketchup on hand.  I could start from that, if I could find the gumption.  Still, if I call ssa and get the rejection letter sent, I will have the last ribs I will have for some time.  As with the steak, it was a leftover from summer food fun.

I have checked the waterers.  Then, after the second check, I checked the temp.  It was 38 F, quite nice.  No need to check, actually, at least for flow.  But the mini girls drank all of their water.  I replaced it.  Ugh, but they are piggies!  They eat and drink everything available to them in ten hours?  I also put Rusty in with Hazel.  Nada.  He was too interested in sniffing her... scents.  And she was getting... hostile.  She tried everything to get in his way.  He absolutely ignored her.  She was getting mad.  I pulled him before she ate him.  Bleh.  Yeah, do have to put her in with him, it turns out.

Why the opposite worked for the woman I bought them from, she showed me how that worked... and doesn't work for me?  Bleh.  And, they are next door neighbors, so the scent is right there.  Argh!  Maybe he just wasn't in the mood.  I am going to try to breed, but will hold off to get things better arranged.  Get all the bucks their own cages, and any breeders their own cages for after... so I can put the does in with the bucks and the does will have their own place to settle in after.  Bleh.  Tomorrow, I'll see what I can do.

Since I'll be up a while, I may try to get into dishes.  I have gotten trash and recycling out, but there isn't enough to pull to the curb.  If enough else is brought together, it might still go.  Just trash tonight, recycling is next week.  I think.  But it is out.  Now, to get to cleaning the counter, clearing the fridge a bit, and the food for the week.  Life is doing well, if I can just keep up... a bit... mostly.

What else, besides a letter from ssa?  No reason to contact the lawyer, until I have the rejection letter.  Hmm... I would like to find a source for chicken feet, chicken carcass bones, pork hocks, and beef bones.  Oh, and honeycomb tripe... at least for the next beef stock production.  I can use some of this in the chicken soup, but most is for the stock.  And I need 16 and 32 ounce containers for that.  So... not quite yet, but I want to be stocked up for it, when that comes through.  It's on the list.

Oh, someone brought up roasted onions.  Which... sounds worth a whirl.  But that made me think of roasted garlic.  Now, this guy uses a smoker/griller.  Not how I will do it.  But he offers the three ways which are on my mind.  Excellent for stews, or a variety of things.  Same with onions, pickled or baked.  Oh, yes, I think so.

Later.

A bit late, slow, and pained.

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I have had worse.  And the sun shines through, sort of?  From time to time?  A good day.

Chores are done.  It is probably in the mid thirties to low forties?  It's nice out there.  Wet, so cool in that way, but... nice.  Oh, best feed the girls, and fix their litter boxes shortly.

Kefir has gone down.  Something about kefir?  It really helps regulate that which sometimes needs regulating, especially for those of us who can't, don't, eat regularly.  It doesn't turn out bricks, nor liquid, if you know what I mean.  Soft serve.  Hope I... didn't ruin that for anyone.  :p  Not only that, but if I haven't eaten enough, it seems to create the bulk needed to push everything out.

As for kefir, it is a strange drink.  There isn't just one type of critter growing in there.  Some if it is like highly softened cauliflower, some of it is like milky chalk, if most of it is like liquid yogurt.  No matter how much I shake, stir, or else, there are always bits of the growing things.  Initially that was a bit off-putting.  Now it is like finding the CrackerJack prize!  It... will take you a while to get to that point.

Oh, a few things for the morning...

One last thing...

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While making kefir, usually I prefer to mix the whey back in, for a more sour result.  I... do love the sour.  Still, there are other things you can do with it.  Today, in my order, I ordered four red onions and a bigger batch of carrots than needed.  Separately, I intend to produce a quart or two of each, as fermented vegetables.

A bit surprised.

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No nap.  I did get a shower and the dishes back in... if I didn't mention it.  I really wanted a nap.  Mostly I simply waited for the time to go.  Milk was delivered.  Very welcome.  Some of it was set right to kefir.  I can begin drinking that stuff twice a day.  Usually raw.  Sometimes sweetened.  Sometimes sweetened with fruit.  Sometimes with fruit but otherwise raw.  Between a tablespoon and two of fruit, or five larger strawberries.  If sweetened, two drops per sixteen ounces.  I think I'll do mornings plain, then mix and match nights.  Ten ounces of frozen fruits will last two weeks, at that rate... or well past a week anyway.  No, I'm thinking two weeks a package.

I really do love that stuff.  Something about the tang.  You have to get almost completely away from sugar and the faster carbs.  It would be even easier if you got away from almost all carbs.  But, if you get away from sugars, your taste buds change.  And that sour begins to present a hidden sweetness that just doesn't make sense to the senses when sugar is a regular item.  Though, too much and it is like eating too much lemon or lime.  It'll dig into your gut and make it sore, sour.  Two glasses a day is as much as I can do.  Perhaps, in time, more can be consumed.  If I don't think that is wise.  Two glasses, between twelve and sixteen ounces, is about as much as I really think is needed.  Less if you are smaller.

Green kale was available this time.  I have chicken hindquarters thawed.  That might be cooked tonight, or tomorrow.  All of it will be pulled and used for soup.  I do have beef stock out, but really need to remember chicken feet, and maybe extra bone from somewhere.  Uncooked is best, perhaps the store will have some?  I'll call, it's not something they list in their online listing.  Well, and pork hocks... for both types of stew.  It really thickens, and fattens.

I think I got everything on my list.  If they don't have something, I don't quite have a good way to compare what I ordered with what I received.  They said the receipt was mailed.  I'll... have to review.  Still, it's not a bad program, just a bit... confusing, for me, currently.  I'll try to get my head wrapped around things and work it out.  Oh... the good thing about the drive?  On the way home, the sun smiled at me.  Two days in a row I got to see the sun.  Life... always seems a hair better with some sun... in the winter.  Some clouds, especially rain, in the summer.  And a smiling woman on most days.  Unless... she knows what I'm up to?  No, that's... even better.  *grins*

Everything is put up.  Except something I am snacking on.  Not sure it will fit back in, but maybe.  I'll give it a shot, when I can stand.  Tired already, then well fed, means... not moving anywhere or fast.  Later.

Actually, good night.  I'll be sure to include you in my prayers, if I usually do anyway.  Friend, enemy, family... you all need it.  Amen and sleep well.

Not sure how much today.

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.

Absolutely exhausted.  A bit sore.  But not feeling ill.  Just can't get going.  Even playing games is difficult.  I'm thinking about a nap.  It may end up throwing my day off, but it's going anyway.

Chores were done.  Oh, and I have things to do this afternoon... best not nap.  Gah!  I had hoped to get dishes going, but need to take a shower, then get ready to do some things.

The real trick is just figuring out what to do in order to stay awake long enough to do what is needed.  It isn't the cool.  I can tell when that is getting to me.  It is just... I have done too much lately.  Tired, energy spent.  Ugh.  I am hoping the store calls, to see if I need anything else.  Eggs!  Cheese, cheddar, too.  I love the idea of shredding my own cheese, but that is a lot of work, with the cleaning, packaging, and else.  So, I go with the middling shredded cheddar.  It's all I can do.  I'd like to add other cheeses, but... edam, gourda, and a dozen others.  Beside their expense, it's figuring out how and when to eat them, before they go bad.  I do what I can.

More milk will be on the way.  I offered to pick it up myself.  Though not today.  I couldn't do both trips.  But, Monday, to sort of force myself out, perhaps.  Neighbors pick it up for me.  I offer them little gifts, if out of appreciation, not in payment?  Something.  Odd things.  I hope they find use or enjoyment with the items.  Ugh... life is messy.  Always owe more than what I can pay, get what I don't deserve.  Just waiting to die, but... not, too.  I'll live as much as I can until then.  Amen.

Well... just... getting out what bothers me.  Have a good day.  I hope you can do a bit more than I.  I really may just have to nap.  Oh well, or all good?  All good.  Later.

Up late.

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.

Couldn't sleep until nearly eleven.  I don't know why.  The goal is to be to bed earlier.  One can hope.  Up at around 08:48, or so.  I will turn the furnace up first thing, just to warm the waterers.  Then back down.  I really need to layer if I am going to keep it in the mid sixties in here.  But that is doable.  It just isn't always enough.  I may have to warm the house, from time to time. just to 70?  Just for an hour or two.

The girls are hungry today.  Can tell.  Some morning they are hungry, even hangry, for no particular reason.  They are almost dangerous in this mood.  I particularly, on those days, do not feed them immediately.  If I do, they will begin trying to force me to wake, pushing the envelope.  They have to know who is in charge.  The problem a lot of people have is that they give in to their pets.  If you do, you begin, slowly, losing control.  I don't mind, I'm hungry almost all of the time.  I eat less, by portion calories, than they do.  Plus, they have dry food always available, and plenty of very fresh water, beside two to three treats equaling a small meal a day, plus two large meals a day.  I wish I had it so good!

I think I have to get feed ready.  No real problem.  Just a few scoops.  And, perhaps, I should pick up feed today.  For the birds, and maybe more for the rabbits.  I will just dump one of the bags of wheat, per two bags of real feed, until it is gone.  Ugh, money, money, time, energy, push, and shove.  So tired, worn, achy... and it's dark.  The little bit of sun yesterday was quite the gift.  Just a few moments, but it helped.

Well, on to waking, then chores.  A shower sometime after.  Dishes started... restarted really.  Plus washing off the freezer top, getting ready to dry some of those dishes.  Laundry?  I don't have enough for a load.  Other cleaning?  Trash out, perhaps, and recycling.  Recycling isn't this week, but I don't have much.  Still, good to get it out of the way.  Hmm, perhaps start taking boxes down and putting them in?  Maybe.  If there is room, and so long as it doesn't block the exit.

Anyway... yea, maybe.  More tomorrow.  And, a trip for a blood test soon, plus calls to the ssa, for letters.  And then hooking up with a lawyer, if possible.  I can't believe a local lawyer turned me down without even any real consideration and a lawyer a state over at least wanted to find out the details before choosing.  More to it than what I can see from my side, no doubt.  Do states have costs, inputs, and say in the matter?  I don't know.  Anyway...  More, soon, including medicine.  My medicine is in, so... I need to get that refilled.  So tired, confused, but... I've got to do it.  Later.

So ready for bed.

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.

The thawed meat was put in the fridge.  Old and new waterers have been set up, so that I have two larger batches ready at any moment.  Tomorrow I will also reset a second, smaller, waterer selection.  As it gets warm enough, I want to put out a smaller set at night.  Currently, I have two large sets, one medium set, and a partial very small set.  I will work on getting one more medium set and two smaller sets.  It just allows me to coast, from time to time.

I am hoping to finish setting up food for the rabbits, and getting the girls a late dinner.  I will shower in the morning, and set up dishes after.  As well, perhaps, wash off what has been cleared.  I have replenished nuts, and with kefir going, am almost ready to dig back into keto.  I ordered wrong food, some, to be picked up tomorrow.  It is my... blow-out before going back onto keto.

Keto, in one sense, isn't difficult.  My problem is keeping up with food at all.  Then, when I get too hungry, I eat like hungry animals do... messily and whatever is easy, handy, available, quickly.  You can only eat just so many sardines (which are keto by the way), or packs of tuna, or such.  If your body needs hot, varied, full meals... pizza or McDonalds or... any of a thousand things which it craves will be had.  My will is good, right until it tries to drive my body off a cliff... or my body believes I am doing something wrong, or hurting it.  Then it will take over and do what it wills.  At that point, anything I "say" is seen as... dubious, perhaps dangerous.  It may do the opposite, or angle away in some way.  That is the truth.  Trying to kill yourself, and hurting your body a great deal, quite some number of times does make the body both separate from the mind a bit, and create it's own will... our flesh has a will to survive I doubt most of us understand, until it has been unleashed.  Unleashed some number of times, by accident or ill intent, that will is... incredible.  Think of antibodies... but of the body against the mind.

Anyway... it is keeping up on food.  I have small stores of keto, a system of meeting demands, and a will to it.  I have been slowly working back to it, but... so tired, sometimes, I haven't been able to focus, resist, and have needed food.  I am coming about and regaining focus.  Still, with soon starting meds, it... might become difficult.  Storing up helps, being able to order food helps, but finances being screwy from becoming behind on energy hurts.  I have to have some freedom to just buy, and buy keto.

Keto doesn't have to be expensive.  Actually, with something like stews, it is cheaper.  IF you can make the food from raw ingredients, or nearly so.  But that takes a clean(er) kitchen, clean dishes and cookware, and such.  OR it will be expensive... and often dubious.  They slap the keto label on things dogs shouldn't be allowed to eat.  And they lie, stop to start.  You don't know who or what to trust until you've invested.  It looks like companies try to destroy your keto, as with diabetics where they lie about sugars.  It is easy, if you have the money, and focus, and access to a kitchen and fresh foods.  A lot of if's for a dying fool.

Still, I am getting close.  This month or next, I will go full keto again.  I will be edging that way even until then.  I need more stock bones, for chicken and beef, then to get to that.  Hmm, pork hocks would help, and chicken feet too.  Those really add a lot of the thickening agents.  Still, mostly beef and regular chicken bones.  Oh, I probably need freezer containers too... 16 ounce and 32 ounce work the best.  Anyway...

Good night.

A rather nice day.

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Tired.  Achy when I woke.  Still, chores were done reasonably well.  And I keep checking.  The rabbits water is still flowing, and they are eating well.  The little gents are still a bit miffed at papa, but seem to be slowly getting over it.  And the ducks have been pleased to have the driveway opened.  They like hiking around the place, and snow makes that less fun.

I have shoveled twice, and now plowed the driveway and frontage areas twice.  Once with a little help, the last time all on my own.  As well, I took care of a bit of business... for now.  Have to figure out how to stay up on that.  Quite cruel to jack fuel like that.  A one time miss ends in four hundred in arears?  Then with a two day cutoff notice?  They have a phone number, probably my email, but those are too much?  Really?  Still, I have it fixed, for the moment.

As well, groceries have been ordered, again.  I am hoping that works this time.  Just enough for a few weeks.  The only thing I need through the month is fresh veggies from time to time, and dairy.  Dairy is paid on the first, for the month ahead.  Oh, and I found a steak from... a... while ago.  I thawed it, with some hopes.  Grilled it.  It was quite good.  Probably the last ribeye I'll have for... most likely from here on out.  Oh well.

Oh, I am also turning the furnace down.  I'll start at 68~70.  See where the bill goes.  I may have to push the 66 line, and hope electricity doesn't go out.  I would like to have alternatives, but those are all probably more expensive.  Even the propane heater... which I'd have to be careful with as well... would cost a big chunk.  And kerosene heaters would be twice that.  But those would be good if all heat gets lost for a bit.  I can probably handle it, mostly, but the girls can't.  Cats just really don't do well below 50.  I'll have to figure something out.

Ah, but, in the end, the sun was shining at the end of the day.  Just... a bit from the west.  It was a pleasant thing.  Like a gift, or some hope, in these very dark and growing darker times.  Later.

It could be worse.

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I could be using just a shovel.  I must admit, the little I shoveled earlier got to me.  Aging, ill, but slightly able, sometimes, for short runs.  It looks like as much is back down as what had been removed?  Thereabouts.  I need to get out again, and shovel that little spit of are so as to get the plow out and working.  It's all good.

I thought I had a grocery pickup today.  I am certain the order went through.  But, checking today, it looks like it didn't go through.  Which ends up being fine, for me.  I... am running out of fumes.  I didn't want to go.  I am tired.  The order was still in the 'basket'.  I am sure it went through, and that I received a code.  They were extremely busy, when I ordered.  I ordered on Monday or Tuesday, and Friday was the earliest pickup.  So, perhaps, their machines or capacity was overloaded?  All good, as long as this goes through.  Tomorrow, if it went through.

I have enough kefir.  And, tomorrow is milk day... with two on the way.  I have two in the fridge... well kefir'ed.  And three out kefir'ing.  Half gallon jars.  I have started eating some, since I have plenty and milk is arriving.  The stuff gets slightly addictive... if you can get past the strange nature.  I would call it milk umami.

Oh... the energy company's suggestion was that I get their app.  Apps are so insecure.  But... that, to modern... even old... companies, is a feature.  They have always been nosy, they want to get into your business, know what you are doing, and as a front be two steps ahead of you... not in the good way.  It's about the bottom dollar, they say.  But that isn't... the whole of it.  Power is as good as money.  I'll look it over.  In the short term, may not have a choice.  Though, if I am late, not sure there is much I could do about it.  Ugh.

Not quite ready to get out and plow, but will be shortly.  It is slightly above melting... a good time to do it.  If it drops below that, things could get nasty.  You just don't want frozen snow on your driveway.  It does feel colder, with all the moisture in the air from thawing a bit.  But... that's what gloves are for.  I'll get to it shortly.  I'd love a nap, but it's a bit late.  Past 11:00, or noon even, it's pushing it.  The probability of ruining sleep is very strong.  I've kept days for... a while now.  Slowly losing it, but still... a miracle I'd like to maintain just a bit longer.

Later.

That snow is coming down in heaps.

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I did get a section of the drive shoveled, up near the garage.  I had to rest, I did it after feeding and watering the rabbits.  An hour after, I was ready to use the plow.  I had to shovel again!  It was as deep as it had been!  Well, fine.  I did that, got the lawn tractor going, and made a pass then did one side of the frontage, when low and behold, the neighbor showed!

It was fun.  To be able to be out, to visit just a bit.  And the thing is good.  Plus, I opened a path to the front door.  So, all very good.

On the bad side, the gas company sent a runner, who put a notice on my front door.  Gas is overdue, with a two working day shutoff notice!  I called immediately.  Very difficult.  The tech/accounting is done by real people, payment by an automated system.  Apparently, missing one payment (not having enough in the account), will cause the auto pay to lapse.  And they don't call or email, just send a (one more in a pile of others) letter.  I might well miss such.

Well, deep in back pay.  But... they are going to put me on a payment plan.  Still, one miss, and they rescind the payment plan and everything is due immediately, or they shut off heat.  I am going to have to be very careful.  Oh, and my bill went from ~$30 to ~$150.  So... yea.  Anyway... Then I called their number, and was having trouble with their billing, on top of that, my phone was having a lot of trouble, trying to tell me this was a potential spam call!  Ugh...  I think... think I say... it is worked out.  I just have to make sure I have enough in the account to pay the bill.

I called to let them know they are showing as spam on my phone, and the guy was not only dismissive, he didn't care.  If I were a major company, and spam warning were making phone calls difficult, I'd really want to know that.  Maybe they just don't care anymore?  Or, maybe, the workers just don't care?  I... did what I could.

Life sure gets rough when it gets rough.  Later.

Later than planned.

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Earlier than actually believed... hoped?  I went to bed reasonably early. 21:00? 22:00?  Somewhere in there.  I set the alarm for 05:00 and 07:00, with some slim hope in planning that I might be up by then.  I... worried that I would turn off the alarm, or even not hear it.  I am that tired.  I felt better, doing little yesterday, but was so tired.

I turned the 05:00 alarm off immediately.  That was going with the plan.  I worked with the 07:00 alarm, running through three snoozes, to 07:30.  I... knew, at that point, that I wouldn't wake.  I almost... no... I did shut it off.  But then I reconsidered, rolled over, grabbed the alarm, and reset the alarm for 08:30.  Even that was just a hail mary.  I hit the snooze three more times, yet waking at 09:00 was better than other options.

I gave the girls treats right first thing, then went downstairs.  I left my pj's downstairs, after being out yesterday?  Or... had I... put them to launder?  Yes, the latter I think, dressing in real clothes to go out.  So I had to find clean pj's for at least this morning, around the cave.  Oh, and just remembered to turn the furnace up.  While the waterers are ready, they aren't warm.  And, yes, that really helps them stay thawed nearly all day when it is 28~32 or warmer.  Below that it's a crapshoot... depends on how often they drink, whether wind or breezes are involved (and whether those are warmer or cooler), what humidity is up to, and some other things.

It is snowing.  I didn't dream it was snowing, I dreamed, right before waking, that I knew it had snowed all night.  Looking out, at least from upstairs, while it is snowing very heavily, it looks more like it just started snowing.  There isn't much on the Cruz window.  Just looking at the driveway doesn't show much, but the window of a vehicle... which was clear since the last snow, makes depth guestimates much simpler... assuming my rheumy eyes saw well.  I'll... check in a bit.  Certainly when I do chores.  Hmm... I may do the ducks right now, and get to the rabbits when their water is warm...

Ah.  I had been correct, but things change.  It had been between a bit less and a bit more than an inch (of fluffy snow, not packed, wet).  Now it is closing on two inches.  It is snowing fast.  Small flakes but many and fast.  Makes for a wonderful show, if you aren't lined up against the snow somehow anyway.  Not enough to really even shovel yet.  Still, in a bit, I will grab the shovel and at least open up in front of the driveway so as to more easily facilitate plowing later.  Oh, and it is 28 F out there, but... on the colder side of that.  Still, a wonderful winter day.

Ducks are out and fed.  Rabbits aren't happy that I'm not getting them, but warm water helps sooth... issues.  :p  I do love my critters, and will do what is better for them over just what they want.  Oh... all the bucks are glaring at me, the minis who escaped and are back.  They enjoyed their freedom and think I was not very nice to put them back.  I get it, safety isn't everything.  But it's not just safety.  Oh, now I best get plans to cull underway.  Two bucks, and maybe two does.  Even at worst, that would leave 36 fryers.  Though I may hold onto the does until these others prove out?  Learning curves while nearly comatose and unsure otherwise are massive.

Oh, another thing for keto people.  Hazel nuts are actually better than macadamia nuts.  They aren't as tasty, by far.  But beside being slightly better on the macros, they are much much cheaper.  I can't afford steak or macadamia, even occasionally, anymore.  I'm doing good to afford a roast, and even that I need to dice down to stew meat.  Why not buy stew meat?  Costs the same, but I have no idea what meat they are using.  Round and/or bottom roast is so flavorless, and some others... plus, as mentioned, there is no price difference.  I can... cut my own, from a better roast, thank you.  As with hazel nuts, I can handle the dryer, less flavor, to have something as a snack or middle food... convenience food even.

Later.

A bit more.

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Bedtime though.  Late, but earlier than the last few days.  I didn't work up so much that I had to come down.  The stress was in the morning.  I have had time to come down from that.

Some of the dishes were put back to a soak.  Just couldn't finish that.  The waterers and food are set for the rabbits.  The ducks were put up.  Well, and of course... mostly... the waterers were brought in.  As well, the girls got fresh water.  They get what doesn't go into the rabbits waterers.  Though, sometimes, they just get a fresh batch, as they will in the morning.

I also got the freezer cleared off, if not cleaned.  And a small bag of rather... bad trash out.  I didn't realize there was something in there... there was.  Ugh.  I have also been turning the kefir.  It isn't ready to consume quite yet.  It probably won't be for a few more days.  Even then, I'll be splitting the majority into fresh jugs, which will need to incubate... cure?  whatever kefir grains do.  I will also pour off portions for drinking.

I will be trying to take it easy with consumption until I have a gallon and an half ready, and maybe gallon percolating.  Even then, I will go a bit slow.  Until I understand where I am with that, how fast it goes and such.  I'd like eight to sixteen ounces of that stuff a day, until I get bored or such... then put some into hibernation?  It is odd how tastes change, hungers come and go, and such.  For now, I could probably drink three to four gallons of the stuff a week.  And, with frozen fruit, perhaps with fresh vegetables (such as cucumbers, tomatoes even if they are really good, or else... perhaps even fresh fruit when it looks good and is in) the options become vast.  As with soups and stews.

Meats for that are out.  As well, a few containers of beef stock.  I'll do another beef stew soon.  Kale... I am really enjoying kale in this stuff.  Just chop it fine.  Not quite parsley fine, I like more bite.  But not as big as, say, lettuce.  Well, I like bigger bites of lettuce, that might just be me.  I would have liked to have eaten something more substantial today.  I just didn't have it in me to get out, or to cook.  Nothing thawed, it would have required inventiveness and some energy.  I just didn't have it.

Not bad.  Not great.  But... after yesterday, and this morning... better than expected.  Good night.

So very tired.

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I really want to go back to bed.  But I have things to do during the next weeks.  I need to keep the day.  Even if I can't do anything in a particular day, it must be kept as a placeholder.  Today, for the most part, is going to be a placeholder.  it is 16:51.  I have held out well.  Just two to three more hours, pulling the waterers if it seems to be cooling, and putting the ducks in.

Another shower tomorrow morning.  I feel so cold today, in spite of it being above freezing.  With a shower right off, I would normally be warm, warmer, even hot.  Little food today though, that might be part of it?  Whatever.  As mentioned, not much done today.  Tomorrow I am hoping to make a few calls, pick up feed, and... perhaps begin sorting out the rabbits, and getting them to breed.  It's time.  One batch of rabbits, from each doe, even if there were few... say six?... would provide a fairly hefty bounty.

I have checked with several neighbors.  They... aren't sure.  There is another neighbor who seemed interested.  There is no way you will sell these for their cost, mind you.  I am not actually looking to sell... just offer them.  I don't think these would ever pay for themselves.  But what they do is provide the potential for food if all else goes away, even for a short bit... if defending that food source is a whole other issue.  Ask even beef ranchers of their fears should a major calamity occur.  Yours, if you can keep them.

Still, it's the idea.  Same with ducks.  If they would figure out how to go broody, in any case.  And if I can sort out how to get them a place to safely brood and raise chicks.  They are cannibals.  And brutal to their young.  It's just the way it is.  If it works out, in any case, I should have twenty to thirty young in a month... plus or minus a handful... which would take a month to ween and a month or two to feed up.  Some portion will be smaller, most will be larger... say five to probably nearing ten pound dressing weights (bone in).  All... give or take.  A few batches of those a year would seem me very comfortable.  And with enough to offer out.  As to ducks?  Squat, so far.  I need to build a few brooding cages.  I just... don't know what I am doing that way.

Later.

Strange call.

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Someone from India, or with an Indian accent, just called.  Something about a problem on my computer.  They wanted me to check some things, which I did.  Suggested they had sent notifications, about security issues on my computer.  But that I hadn't followed through.  Well... it looked like there was a problem.  A lot of things are shut down on my computer.

Then he wanted me to go to a website.  I wouldn't do it.  I'm not sure what is going on, or not, with my computer.  But I have no idea who this guy was, or anything about him or who he employs him.  Absolutely not going to some random place, just because he has my number and knows things about my machine.  Microsoft wouldn't have anything to do with anyone's machine.  Nor would they hire tech to deal with personal security.  Wow.  Brazen.  Watch yourself out there.

I have to laugh, even thinking that ms would employs techs for our security, or that they think we would fall for it.  Mostly likely, he is involved with the breakin.  He just wanted to complete it, or transfer more data, or such.  Be very careful out there.  I may simply have to abandon my computer, until I can get a secure os installed.

Later.

So many worries.

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I started to fear, last night, that the timing of the event was off.  The case was actually in the MidWest.  Central time.  What... time... was it supposed to be, what time was the event... local?  I could barely get going to be available for the event, so had no time... or means that I could think to check... to tell.  So, I just did what I could and was where I need to be in time to do what I thought I was to do, as planned up to point.  You have no idea what it is to be totally lost in this world at times.  I do, I do.

The time, presented, was correct... to local.  A small glitch connecting using the software, but a simple quit and restart reset the glitch.  The event went quickly and an extension was granted.  Now, to contact SSA, local, have them send the rejection letter(s), and get them forwarded to a lawyer or three.  Of the backpay, should that come through, they can only receive 25% or $6k, whichever is least.  I didn't know that part, which sort of frightened me from obtaining a lawyer.

It was short.  Easy.  Now done.  I then returned to do chores and begin actually waking.  Chores are done.  Now to begin dishes, in a bit.  Well, and later, get feed.  Four more bags of rabbit feed and four bags of bird feed.  Next month, four more bags of bird feed.  I want to have two or three months on hand, of anything, more if I thought it would hold... then just keep that topped each month, and rotate.  Same with cat food and litter.  Hell is upon us.

On to... waking, more.  Have a great day.

Down late, again.

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Had to be up earlier though.  A call, probably to postpone the hearing in an attempt to obtain council.  Still, it's required.  Most of this week, getting up this early happened naturally.  But my days are shifting.  Not quickly.  And, maybe this is just a blip.  But, to be sure, I set an alarm for five... to give me a warning.  Then set the second alarm for seven.  Being as that is pretty close to my local min-max natural... it worked.  Still, I need a shower, to brush my teeth, and to unload the... well...

I could take the car.  No... most of the gas has been stolen from it.  Actually, about half the gas in the suv has been stolen too.  It's sitting at half a tank with a hundred miles on it.  They are back to stealing my gasoline, and things in my house.  Whatever they want, I guess?  When you are alone, you can't be awake all of the time.  And I sleep pretty deeply.  Too deeply, if with little choice.

I did clear the way for a shower.  Dishes which were soaking.  I had hoped to do that last night, but there was no more 'go' in me once I settled.  I spent all my energy, and then some.  A great day.  Did so little, but for me a lot.  Actually handling the piano was less than anything... even shopping for waterers wore me out a lot more.  Strange that.  If... it is even true, mind you.  The problem is, when I do that much, it takes a long time to come down.  Sleep requires a lower gear, and that just takes time... last night it took six hours or more.

All good.  Today?  The conference call, of course.  Then picking up feed.  Oh, chores before that, but after the shower?  Time is getting tight.  I best get going if I am to be there in a timely fashion.  Hmm, chores first, actually.  The waterers are being warmed, with the house.  Food is ready, for the rabbits.  It's just a matter of putting it out and setting things up.  Should be quick work.  Then a shower.  Perhaps a trim first?  Beard, anyway.  Yea.  We'll see.  Later.

So slow, intially.

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Very successful in the end.  A contest, doubled upon.  Waterers and a few other items purchased.  Shopping for this and that.  Milk, in plenty, kefir set to go immediately after officially having returned.  Rabbits caught and reset well enough for the day?  Hopefully.  Many things, actually.  And I was ready.  Oh, I even reset dishes this morning.  I am hoping to clear the counter, do some, and reset the last of them.  I want another shower tomorrow morning.

Oh, the bet?  A speed eating test.  I'm getting... a bit old for those.  Still, it had to happen.  I can't eat as much, clearly.  So a portion of a portion.  First, two thirds of a double-double decker for me.  A whole triple double-decker for him.  He... didn't think I would... or even was able... to shut up and eat.  But this was serious business!  I cleared that one easily... or... more easily.

Next?  The rest of my burger against all his fries.  Man, I really wasn't sure.  Already on shaky ground.  But, hey.  The puppy-dog eyes this guy has?  I had to roast him!  And I did.  He was... so close to beating me.  I had to stuff and swallow... and pray.  It turned out God wanted me to win and not die!  It's good to get out with the young ones from time to time.  I can't keep up, but with a reasonable handycap and a bit of luck, yea, even an oldster can doomster an youngster!  WooHoo!

They had waterers in.  I got enough to have four, or nearly four, sets of waterers.  I had two already, so...  I will, probably, get a few more sets.  Having them set up, for days, then just having to clean and fill every few days, makes it easier.  Less stop and go, hurry and wait, etc.  Too many and it would be a problem of falling behind.  As well, this allow for heating in the winter, and refrigerating in the summer.  Yea, it helps them, and they... deserve good treatment and respect.

Oh, and chasing the rabbits?  The youngster did most of the chasing.  That lad is a hunter at heart.  He caught, in the end, two of them, I caught two.  He did most of the leg work, but in the end it comes down to just picking the dang thing up without losing skin, blood, or ones head.  Gnarly teeth, and wicked claws, can jump clean to... said Tim.  And, he... wasn't making all of it up.  A rabbit can actually be dangerous.  I could easily see one opening up an artery.  Or three.  Still, all fun.  The final contest of the day.  Unlike the meal, I give him the accolades, and a win in this circle.  I just let them run and sometimes trap them, then... picked them up.  He did have fun.

Up late, moving slow.

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No great difficulties.  Going down so late, 23:30 or so, I expected a late rise.  Up so late as I was trying to do a few last things, including a shower and then letting hair air dry before bed... mostly.  Up at about 07:00, and small change.  It is almost 10:00 already, and... I am dressed!  Not just wearing pj's/bed clothes.  Hmm, it is about time to feed and water critters.

After that, I will put dishes back to soak, and perhaps clean off the freezer top, pull meat for the week, and then take a break.  A few more things this afternoon and evening, and to bed earlier.  I don't want to lose my days.  I have... things to do.  Oddly, not so very tired.  Even so, it is difficult to get started.  Hmm... the furnace is still turned down.  That doesn't help.  I'll fix that as I get to chores.

No pain?  I know as I began waking, I woke up in rather serious pain.  Neck, shoulders, headache(s)... at least one, and other problems.  As I've been drifting about the net, lost in some fog, not even quite sure what I did, the pain... seems to have gotten lost in the fog, mostly.  There is a bit, but it was acute initially.  It is a gentle, rather easy, pain now.  I would currently classify this as one of my best days!  Not that it, always, matters.  I am used to... whatever happens.  Smile right through most of it... until it stacks day after day, then I... begin thinking about painkillers.  Just a break from it, from time to time.

One of my attempts at fixing a problem did work.  The plastic lids, which were advertised as air and water tight?  Proved out.  At least in the short run.  Who knows how long they will remain so.  Still, for now, I am happy with the product, so will be ordering more.  I won't use them with kefir, which needs to breath and creates an net positive pressure so invasion isn't as much of a risk.  Plus, if you have the jar too full, and make it air tight, it can break the jar.  It's good to have something that actually works.  Rare anymore.

I best get going.  The girls are fussing.  And the outdoor critters deserve feed and water.  Later. 

Yea?

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A bit.  Not everything.  Though... perhaps more than planned, if not all that had been planned as well.  Plans... change.  The ducks are in, leaving waterers out for the hoppers, their food and water is ready for the morning though.  Well, and, now, all of the buck mini rabbits are out.  Sticking around, so far.  I need to wrangle them before they get eaten or just wander off.

I didn't get the counters, but I did clear the bathroom and tub enough to shower.  I thought about doing it in the morning.  And I may.  But I want to do it tonight as well.

Tomorrow?  Feed, for the ducks and rabbits.  Real feed.  A lunch... somewhere.  Checking on more waterers.  Well, and my balance.  Anything else?  Probably.  Oh, definitely more milk, for kefir.  A gallon doesn't go far.  I am thinking two a week won't be enough, but I really need to get to that point first, then decide.  Truth is, I may drink more, in the beginning, then back off.  It's often how it goes.  Or... maybe not.  It might replace half of my tea?  Which I am now back up to three to four gallons a day.  Ugh.

I did send information to the folks helping me.  SSA wants to use a system for video-conferencing over the phone.  I'm not sure how to install or use it.  I sent the details on, and... have tried to read through it.  Right now, I just can't get going on such things.  Too tired.  I'm not stupid... or even lazy.  I am simply bushed beyond my ability to think.  Losing bits every day, it seems.  Hopefully that could be set up tomorrow.

Oh, and I have been looking at traps, for the rabbits.  I suspect a few very strong springs, and the cages as are, plus a little creativity, could end up with the rabbits back in cages.  It must not be too bad for them, or they would be gone.  Ugh.  Of course, now it will be easier to get the mini does somewhere else, so as to fix this cage.

It's about time for that shower, then on to bed.  A few prayers.  Lightly, as I really am dying of thirst for both liquid and sleep.  Good night.  Blessings.  And may God be with you.

I sent in

Not bad.

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Certainly not all of it.  More than I thought I could do before crashing.

The trash cans were emptied.  That was precarious.  But, done, with no spills.  Splashes?  Of course.  As well, I found cast which was rusty... other than what I have already fixed.  So... I started in.  These didn't have recent rust.  They have rust from years.  And, actually, from being outdoors.  So... it's taking a bit more.  But it is working.  Amazing.  I just hit those again, actually need to hit them with vinegar now, then take a longer break.

A few other, if very minor, things were done.  The waterers are warming... another hour, I suppose.  But... it will get done.  The next actual task, when I can get to it, is to clear the freezer top to use it for drying dishes.  Not much there, but enough that it'll be after a break.  I will rummage for meat to bring out as well.  Then have it ready for dishes later.  A shower.  I am not going to shave or trim.  I have no way adding that to my already extensive list.

There are other things I need to do, have to do, but I have so little time.  Too many things!  I'll... do what I can.  I am doing better than I thought I would be.  More painkillers, though, I think.  I'm running into trouble.  Yes, a rest, if not a nap... not enough time to get one in before it would be too late.  Too much to do.  I really would love a nap though.  Oh well.  Later.

Very rough morning.

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Aches, headaches, things to do, a few things done.  Ugh.  I had to haul bags of feed out, then fill the outside container.  The waterers, from last night, as still partially filled and flowing.  Still, I need to get the other waterers refilled and out.  I usually do that at night, but with all else going on it got lost in the shuffle.  Getting some of the things done in the bathroom would help.

The trash barrels are in the way.  I suppose I could empty them in the toilet, slowly.  Plus, dishes are in the tub, blocking other things.  Then the waterers need to be managed, which is usually in that general area as well.  They generic tylenol helped, but I'm still in rough shape.  I am really thinking of taking a nap, to try to push through when I wake.  Thing is, I want at least some of the counters done, and the waterers filled, warmed, and put out with food.  The ducks have been fed and watered, but the rabbits lament their lot.  I'll... do those things before a nap.

Then, a nap, dishes and to air drying.  Perhaps, after draining the trash cans, those will get hit a bit better, and again, before a shower.  Ugh.  I'll...  I... have other things too.  Later.

A difficult morning.

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To bed a bit late, as probably mentioned.  Was it 22:00?  I think so, and small change.  Trying to push through, then trying to back away from the push, too tired to make sense of things, so going to bed on time becomes a problem.  Still, a few hours off isn't too bad.  I am hoping to correct that tonight.  And, I was up by about 06:00, so... it's... okay.  The thing is, sleep could extend to ten to fourteen hours in a moment.  And I need days.  So I need to go to bed earlier... for that margin of error.

I am waking in great pain.  I didn't take tylenol last night.  Between the fog of war and procrastination it just didn't happen.  Oddly, I slept right through it.  Didn't notice the pain until I was waking.  That, actually, kept me in bed and hour or two extra, as I was trying to sleep it off.  Sometimes, rarely, that works.  If nothing else, extra sleep allows me to face the terrible breath of such ferocious pain.  And it was ferocious this morning.

The neck, stiff as a board.  A couple of headaches stemming from that, one bringing nausea and minor migraine symptoms, if I don't think it is a migraine, just an intense ache from a sore neck.  All of which are from yesterday, not from sleeping poorly or wrongly.  I am trying to do too many things, and types of things, all at once, and it is coming with a price.  Even so, I seem to be sprinting in quicksand... getting nowhere.  Or... nowhere fast.

I need to do the dishes quickly, but I have to open up a place for the finished ones!  Ugh.  Then a shower, and a few more phone calls.  Chores, of course, in a while.  I also need to place a grocery store order, and plan to pick up real bird feed.  I may add a few more rabbit feed bags in there.  I would also like to check for more waterers.  I am leaving the waterers out, more often, lately.  They are frozen in the morning, but it does look like they are drinking the water down, so only a cup or so remains.  I would truly rather they have water available 24/7.  It just isn't possible.

Well, and I need to figure out the rabbits.  Someone thinks a rabbit trap, non-wounding, might help me with my problem.  I think they might be right.  Well, this particular one might be wounding, so I'm not sure I will use it.  But... I am sure there is another out there which would work.  Thing is, if I set them up, I will have to check fairly often, so some predator doesn't dispatch the trapped critters.  It's a risk, but I don't have another method.  As well, I need to get the breeding process started.  It's time.  Plus, getting them, mostly, into their own little places will help with a number of problems.  Later.

Late, but within reason.

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Stress... trying to be up on time.  Calling and resetting, or trying to reset things.  This, that, and the other thing.  Running through quicksand.  Hiding from shadows.  Pushing to get through.  Trying to tend animals and domestics.  Too much too do, little capacity, tired, sore, hungry, and thirsty.  Too much, but... I must try.  And, so, I do.

Bedtime.  I need to attempt sleep.  Dishes and more, tomorrow.  I'll do what I can.  For now, sleep.

Tylenol.  The last time I had aspirin, at night, I got a bloody nose.  Caught it before I bled on the bedding.  I don't want to have to catch it.  And, tylenol does work, it was ibuprofen which wasn't working.  Depends on the pains.  I think aspirin and tylenol treat similar ailments.  Mostly... from what I have seen.  Ibuprofen treats what those don't work on.

Good night.  I did get some of it done.  From trash collect and out, to chores, to... this and that... plus calls... important ones.  More to do tomorrow.  This all is far from over.  Good night.

Oh, ugh!

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Not everything.  Trash was late, but it did go out, possibly... probably... in time.  Recycling not so much.  And, dishes were given a final shot and set to rinse.  Plus, a few trash cans were set to soak.  A few of them were absolutely nasty!   Ugh!  The rest probably could use a cleaning, but aren't stinky.  Brutal.  But, a start.  I... hope for more today.  Oh, let the ducks out, but haven't fed and watered the rabbits yet, too cold.

Then, I called about a lawyer.  The center didn't have one in Utah.  Arizona?  Okay.  I asked for one in Colorado.  She said she needed a zip code?  Then how did she get one in Arizona?  Whatevs.  Anyway, I called his office.  I didn't speak to him, his receptionist.  Not going to happen... without changing the court date.  I get that.  But... further... they need the rejection letter, which I don't think I have.

They won't deal with the case, so won't do any calling on my behalf, until they decide to take the case or not.  So... I have to attempt to change the date of the case, then contact SSA and get the rejection letter(s) resent, then fax those on.  Ugh!  So... I called the office of SSA dealing with this, and requested an extension.  They will call back when the judge decides.  Ugh.

Now, to wait.  Ugh!  And, possibly, try to contact the local SSA to see about getting the letters... either way most likely.  Such a difficult thing to work with.  Ugh!!!  Still... I... finally am getting to it, if after many rejections on many fronts with two hands tied behind my back, while dying and drowning in confusion and pain.  It's... something.  Later.

A more regular day and night.

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I was actually up a bit later than has become the usual, but not excessively so.  To bed at 20:00.  I am not sure why I was up later.  The beginnings of a potential episode of insomnia?  Or... was there something I was hoping to do, or did do, which kept me a bit later?  I... just... can't remember.  Still, that was early enough.  Waking, and only once this morning, at about 04:30, I woke, and got up rather easily.

Minor aches and pains, but minor enough that I count this as a pain-free day.  There is a lot of pain in the background, but I... that is almost every day.  My body has learned to buffer a lot of pain.  I appreciate it's efforts, and acknowledge those efforts.  I can't tell what sort of slurry my body produces, but it is rather potent.  Whenever I get a glimpse of what is beyond, the pain that is blanketed, my eyes become as a horse in a barn smelling fire.  Why do you think someone would attempt suicide so many times?  Pain.  It took decades to find some balance... well, that an a seeming inability to die or kill myself, then a negotiation with God.  Meh... then some... toughening and conscious pain allocation and defenses.  Yes, you can.  We can't, you might be able to do it.  Certainly, no one can do it for you or even with you.

So very odd.

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I crashed early, and very very hard.  Taking the water pills late, I assumed I would be waking every hour or two.  To the best of my recall, I only woke three, maybe  four times.  I should have been awake eight times, maybe more.  One of those wakes doesn't even count, as it was my normal pre-waking wake up.  I usually wake an half hour to two hours before I actually wake, and begin extricating myself from that world.

Further, I woke so very late.  My pre-wake was about 05:30.  I went to bed at just a small bit of change after 19:00.  I suppose that isn't a terribly long sleep.  It's, just, lately I have been doing seven to eight hour sleeps... it had  become pleasantly regular.  Ugh.  I try my damnedest to sleep and wake as regularly as possible.  It just isn't in my hands, I guess.

A bit achy this morning.  Not exactly sure why.  I have been doing more... not much but a lot more... comparatively.  And, yes, I suppose that can get to me.  Bending to do dishes.  The acrobatics, sometimes, of laundry.  And just the stretching of chores, or slipping.  Slipping, even if you don't fall, can pull muscles.  Things happen which I forget before I am finished with, such as slipping.  I don't even remember, even the next day when I realize my back is out.  Still, more minor aches and pains.  No need or want of painkillers.  I haven't hurt in a while, not seriously.  Or... more... not consciously.  A lot going on in the background.  A lot of pain, always... always pain.  It's all I've got, as I've mentioned.  Plus, there are many in purgatory who could use it.  I don't understand all of Christ, but this?  This I get... to the degree possible.

Dishes should be quick.  but there are a lot more in the wings than I had thought.  I best get going.  The load in, and one more load today, plus maybe a last load set up for tomorrow?  Laundry... I would like to get most of it upstairs and begin sorting.  Trash and recycling, probably a first thing... so as I am doing else, if anything else pops, it can go out too.  And counters... second... so dishes can go forward.

I did thaw some meat.  Bratwursts last night.  A beef roast, for stew.  Hmm, I need veggies, which I can't get until Monday at the earliest.  Mushrooms, cabbage, the stew mix... carrots, onions, and celery... rutabaga, potato, turnips, and other root veggies.  I'd like to make a day pot of just root veggies.  Higher in carbs, but can be offset with extra fats... cheese, whipping cream, sour cream, butter... just a dab of each for a full bodied filling warming energy rich thing.  Oh yeah.  Still, I probably should pull other meat out.  Some ground turkey, pork, and beef, for more crumble.  That stuff is awesome.  Warmed, topped on greens of many types, spiced, and with fat so no need for official dressings.  Yum.

I... best get to things.  Then again, I have to wait for dawn for chores, and don't want to burn much energy until then.  I'll be curious to see if the rabbits emptied their waterers, or if they just froze.  Ugh... forgot to put the ducks in!  That... always worries me.  It is a dangerous world out there.  And a cold one.  And I do care for my peculiar feathered and furry friends.  Not quite like children, but of concern and personal interest.  Friends of a sort, family of another sort.  They aren't just dead things.  There is even a love involved.  A right one, albeit.  One God tried to imbue upon us, so we don't become thick-necked bastards.  I'm already running pretty close to that line as is.  Still, I... try.

Good morning and day.  Blessings and may you find the yoke of efforts a joy, grace, gift.  Amen.

A long shorter day.

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I am about to crash well before I went to bed the last few days.  Dropping like a rock, too, not just going to bed in a timely fashion.  Crashing.  Okay.  No worries.  Just... noting.

I am leaving the waterers out with the rabbits.  It has been well above freezing all day.  So I will just let them drink all night.  I have enough extra, if smaller, waterers so that I can refresh tomorrow.  And they are ready to go.  I will simply exchange waterers, and reset the ones I am pulling as soon as they are thawed.

A few minor things more today.  I can't... remember what.  Just... some things.  The cast iron skillet is so well done it has a minor mirror effect!  A shadow mirror, but it's... in there.

Dishes, a shower, and trash tomorrow... aside from chores.  So very tired though.  Good night.

Oh, a quick starting tip.

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In my efforts, I found my cast iron pan had gotten rusty.  I had let it soak, but emptied it.  Mostly.  Rust was only in the inside of the pan, and mostly just on one side.  Anyway, I went looking for methods.  Youtube can be very dubious.  Still, it is easy.  And, I found a piece of advice.  It looked too good to be true.  And, you know what they say, if it's too good to be true, it probably isn't true.

Still, it would be easy to check.  Fast and easy.  And I have all the products needed on hand.  All?  How about both.  Paper towels aren't required, but, okay, three things.  Baking soda, paper towels, and vinegar.  Well, a very little elbow grease.  The deal was to make a minor slurry of baking soda and water.  Then, scrub the heck out of the rusty areas.  Well, not much was really needed.  But, yea.  Then, rinse with the vinegar.  Let it fizz and work, rubbing while doing that as well.

Dry throat cure.

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Well, until it becomes dry again.

Kefir.  With trying to balance the water pills and liquid intake, again, as a start, my throat has been dry as dirt in the morning.  Kefir, that probiotic milk product I make at home on my counter?  Cuts right through it.  Two cups is better.  I have asked to change from two quarts of heavy raw cream and a gallon of whole raw milk to the obverse, so as to make more kefir.  Almost all of the milk will become kefir.  And, yea, I can drink two gallons of the stuff a week fairly easily.  Though I would like to try making cream cheese as well, once or twice a month... or at least out of curiosity.

Kefir is slightly acidic.  Think lemons or limes, only milk based.  It cleans the throat, even if it has coated with dust or just a handful of dry.  I added about two teaspoons of blueberries to one, nothing to the other, it works either way.  Now, I didn't add sweetener.  I just went plain.  Sometimes I can do that, sometimes not so much.  Mood?  Or variances in the berries?  it makes for a wonderful breakfast... if you have the brass to tackle that bareboned, in your face, tart.  I do, sometimes, did this morning.

It's about time to try to push through.  Dishes have been being hit, laundry is mostly done, trash and recycling have to go out... and I think this week is recycling week... it's every other week.  As well, perhaps some efforts out with the rabbit cages.  The birds are good, for now.  If, in time, I would like to get to the other outhouses.  I may, actually, move some of the rabbits out there.  I can still create a split-screen, which would allow enough room for two does with kits, per container.  I... think.  Which means I have four cages out there, for breeding boxes.  And, I should move a line of smaller cages out there, for the bucks.  They don't need much room, but vastly want their own spaces.  So... yeah...  Though I need more waterers.  I shopped them last month, near the first, but they didn't have anything on hand.  Bleh.  Maybe this month.

The girls have been treated, rabbit food and water are ready... just waiting on dawn and a bit more.  Then, perhaps, after a rest from that, I will hit the dishes, get in a trim, and then shower before resetting the dishes.  I think they will just need a rinse, if too I need to clean counters so they have a place to finish drying after a bit of initial hand drying.  Ugh.  Then, later in the day, trash.

Morning?

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Well, actually, yes and... yes.  I went to bed a bit after 22:00, needing to be awake for a visit, then a late... snack.  Someone is going to use my router, and various bits, for the first time.  Teh cherry, she will be broken.  I don't get to watch, but I may end up seeing the end product.  All good.  Something about a borken cutting board, some sort of creative channel development using the tool, then an epoxy type river as a fix.  I love it when creativity is combined with the mechanical.  Really, that is working or living art... my preferred art.

I woke just around five, probably just a bit before, if I got up rather quickly this morning.  Sassy was up twice last night, that I know.  Perhaps she was up more.  Or not.  I don't think I slept any harder than usual.  And, usually, I notice.  Especially with the new automatic on/off nightlights.  Oddly, I think those are what keep Sam away?  She is such a strange girl.

First thing, I reset the waterers, and have them near a furnace output to warm.  I'm telling you, the bunnies absolutely love their warm water.  They all but thank me for that.  As they will enjoy cool water in the summer.  Plus ice bottles.  One in the morning, one in the afternoon.  With a pool, or maybe two, the ducks will do well and remain cool as needed.  It's myself, actually, which as me worried.  With the shade over the house gone, this is going to be an oven... two or even three ac's or not.  I may have to get another ac, for the kitchen, a big one, and fans.  It's... gonna cost both upfront and in electricity.  I have no choice.

Oh, because a visitor was arriving, I... pushed through, got the dishes all one shot, so I could take a shower.  I'll reset them today.  Trash and recycling are still top of the list.  The counters and meat thawed, then finishing dishes so I can get another shower tomorrow.  Two shower in three days, perhaps three in five if I can get one tomorrow.  Loverly.  A call about a lawyer today.  Dubious, but it's what I have.  So tired, sore, but... want to work.

Oh, next time I have a visitor, may figure out a way to put up a hammock, outdoors, and a tarp over it.  So as to practice winter camping.  Practice close enough to home so that if I bungle, I can go in.  I think it can be done warmly, and yet lightly enough packed, or easily enough packed, so as to be functional for a day or two out?  It's a working theory, it will have to be tested.  Remember, it was that dream that brought me out here.  I... may be running late, running out of time, perhaps dying too fast now.  But, until I am dead, I will continue to plot that.  And, if I ever start, and can do it reasonably?  I will never stop... until I die.  Heck, it may be a part of how I... let everything go and just move on.  I may have no choice.  Later.

The last of the stew.

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It was truly excellent.  I had to cut the last pieces of beef.  That really tastes much better.  I like the idea of larger pieces of beef, but it doesn't work with soup.  A neighbor is planning on doing pulled pork, I believe with a chuck roast... bigger... big family.  That might be the way to go.  I am sure if I can get a pork butt to pulling doneness, I can do a beef chuck roast... even a small one.  Oh... I think he said the meat was supposed to be cooked to 201... or 221?  I'll look, but it's an internal temperature thing.

I hated watching the last of it go.  It was as good of a beef stew as I have ever made.  It was nearly as good as I have ever had.  A bit more work on thickening.  But flavor, vegetable to meat portions, and sizes (once I cut the meat down), background and main spices, all good.  I did have to add salt, but that is how I prefer it.  Oh, and adding various veggies and fats on any given serving or day was a super thing.  I will always cook the meat and gravy, along with mirepoix, then just having mushrooms, veggies, and fats to add per pot is the absolute best way to go.  Oh, and not heating the whole pot, just enough to eat, so the food isn't cooked absolutely to death.

It's strange out there.  The thermometer reads, or read, a bit lower than freezing... 30 F.  But it was melting out there.  A strange way of things.  Too slick to chase the rabbit.  But it is going into the cage to feed.  I may figure out a tripwire.  I won't hinge it on entrance, by on feeding.  So the rabbit will be fully and further into the cage.  I have an idea about how to close off the hole in the main cage, so I can transfer rabbits without escapes as well.  Not today, but... soon?  Ugh.

It's a good day.  I do have aches and pains.  Relatively mild ones.  It is mostly that I am tired, worn, exhausted.  I'd like to hit dishes, and maybe put some laundry together and take it upstairs... and do a bit of cleaning, getting trash and recycling out... to clear counters, prep for dishes, and get more meat thawing.  Pork, a roast again I think, to be cooked to pulled pork portions... some for soup, some for this, some for that.  I may need a nap before long though too.

Later.

A very good sleep.

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Warm, almost too warm.  Had to open up the blankets, kick my feet out, both, and more once in a while.  Mostly as I started the waking trajectory.  Sassy sleeps with me, pretty much, every night.  I wake through the night and itch her back, shoulders, and else for just a bit, then go on back to sleep.  Sam doesn't visit anymore.  Not sure... what that is all about.  Then again, Sam has me to herself, mostly, downstairs.  Do cats make deals?  Sure seem to have.

Some aches.  I have been slightly more active.  But very mild aches.  I may take anacin, as I have only had one actual dose, for all my chatter on the topic, in the last week, perhaps two weeks.  When I say "I'm gonna", "I will", "I should", even sometimes "I have"?  Well, it's not always so much how it ends up.  Or was.  Still, I don't mind once or twice a week.

I made a small pot of soup last night.  Turned out fantastic.  I don't know how that is possible, but I'll take it.  Some things get better with time, this was one of those things.  I have just enough for one last batch of soup today, and I am going to enjoy it.  Laundry, the last load, is getting a warming fluff first thing.  I'll hit the dishes, pull them so as to shower... trim my whiskers first, then reset the dishes after I finish.  Trash and recycling are the major domestics for today.

If I can get out, today or tomorrow, perhaps a very small little bit of shopping.  More veggies for more stews.  I think a pork stew would be good.  And, so, pork hocks, chicken feet, honeycomb tripe, and maybe various meat bones too?  Oh, and I really need to begin making more bone stock.  This time I'd like to make chicken and beef.  I really don't want to make pork broth.  I'll tell you, if you want a cup of good, a cup of that... chicken, beef, even pork, you will get what you desire.  

And, as for soups and stews, you honestly can't beat this stuff.  Does it heal gut leak?  Shut up with that metro soy shit.  It just returns things your body burns through and very little of the modern diet replaces.  And there is a taste, once you get trained to?  Your body knows what is good for it, when you quit sugar and else.  It knows this stuff is golden.  Curative?  You were born dying, get used to it.  It's a one-way street.  But you... don't have to cooperate with it.  Neither full on hedonisms, nor pure austerity, will save you.  This isn't a mix, and it won't save you either.  It will just allow you to live a little more... of a reasoned little life.

Yes, I opened it back up.  Why?  Because.  I said so?  I did so.  Oh well.  Though I don't if any will return, so...  no problem.  Later.