I'm going to try.

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I probably won't make it to town today, not during the day.  I was, at least, awake in time.  I simply could not get going.  Further, I want to do some small things to clean my home just a bit before help arrives.  The bathroom, trash out, kitty litter boxes, and maybe open the doors and windows to allow for fresh air.  Yes, yes, a bit of work.  I know I can get to some of it, maybe all of it, just not that and a trip to town.  Or, not when I had hoped to go.  If I am doing okay after I finish, I may yet end up in town but later.  I really want to get a few bulbs and a few other things in town, and a hot meal. 

While dreams have backed off a bit, I still see women almost every night.  Intensity seems to have let up.  I still don't quite get that.  Usually this happens when coming out of the medicinal coma, not potentially going into it.  Unless I still had enough of the medicinal effect that starting medicines was more like the end stages of that startup cycle.  I simply don't know.  And I have been able to keep the darkness at bay.  I haven't been able to be all that functional, but I have been able to get to, then maintain days, and to be more aware.  Yeah, something odd in there.  Or...  Perhaps my heart has improved enough that the effects of medicine are different, that I can handle the load a bit better?  Terrifyingly hopeful, that last.  A few more stages and I might even begin to know one ounce of what you know of as a human life.

I have said that even at my age, and in the shape I am in, if I could get back to health as most of you know it, I would run the game.  I am not typical.  Even mostly dead I am Olympian, and more, much more, for my health level class.  If I can learn to walk at will, I will be sprinting soon after.  I may figure out how to guarantee my gasoline isn't stolen in town, a mechanical fix so that my tank cover can't simply be opened.  A locking gas cap was absolutely useless.  I was spending $300-400 on gas, and that is impossible for me to maintain, and it wasn't from driving.  College towns do have their serious downsides.  Hmm, might actually call around about that before I begin cleaning.  Yes, a body shop might be able to install a hidden lock mechanism.

Later.