Dinner time.

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Actually, on the 24-hour fasts, I am simply not crazy for food.  It's... pretty much normal.  Which means I really do fast fairly often.  My problem was that I didn't capitalize on fasting.  Fair enough though, I wasn't fasting by choice.  It is sort of like swimming.  You can swim underwater for anaerobic exercise.  However, if you can't keep topside, and sink, while you are fighting to get to air you won't really use the exercise as well as could be.  You just have to starve, without choice, a few times to begin understanding, in my full condition, why I couldn't capitalize.  Things have changed.

I keep thinking of foods that I haven't eaten.  There are many.  Some I might be able to do, some not so much.  Simply finding fresh blood, certain organs, or such, seems impossible.  Even butchering a lamb or goat might be a bit much for me.  At least in my current condition.  Even so, there... might come a time, access, or a butcher willing to go the distance.  I have learned patience, but to keep my eyes open for an opportunity.  What else makes me curious?  These... doesn't matter which animal, though pig or smaller, no smaller than goat.

I have never made this, but I have eaten this... a man, neighbor, in Iowa.  He made it just as so.  Now he pickled it, really, so it took a bit longer... but really all the same.  What I haven't had is other ways they cook heads of animals.  Roasted, I would say.  Though there are probably other ways.  I simply hate wasting.  Some say we live in times were we don't have to worry about eating 'terrible things' like these.  But... these aren't terrible.  Maybe not pretty, but if you saw almost anything you eat being processed, even grains at some points perhaps, you might not think food is pretty at all.  And, really, it's not.  So many want the curtain behind which stands the wizard to remain closed.  They don't want to see or know.

Me?  I would rather see it as it is, deal with it, live with it, even enjoy it.  Neither squeamish nor weak of mind or will.  If, at times, too tired to do it all myself.  I will gladly kill the thing if someone else will butcher and another cook.  Or I will try to find a way to fit in with some program like that, but an honest one.  And I will enjoy greatly.  It sure beats trying to hide from the truth, the work, the costs, and such.  Those people spend more time over-consuming delicacies based on lies.  They are eating everything I eat, and probably worse, they just don't know or pretend not to know.  Honesty, in all things, is where it is at... as close as I can get.

Oh... right... dinner.  Blood sugar was 277.  Yeah, well...  I realized, last night, that I cannot keep treats around for the future.  I simply can't.  Something about a fox, a hen house, and guard duty.  Doesn't work, not for me.  So... I will be getting rid of anything I can't do.  Regular sugar I can keep.  And use from time to time.  It isn't as much of a temptation as, say, black licorice or even chocolate.  On the fair side, I read that I was buying ten 1 ounce packs.  It ended up that I bought ten 10 ounce packs.  So...  Oh, and I tossed the sugar bubble gum.  Yeah.  Live and learn.  Fasting was 249, and the last one last night was 309... after two packs of licorice and just the one meal otherwise.  That sugar really is a problem.  Bleh.  No, I DIDN'T want to tell on myself, and really almost didn't.  Gah.  Still, this is real, and a diary mostly, and I do attempt honesty.  So... happy?  Fie.

Alright... 15:30, I can go eat.  Later.