Huh? Yeah, no. Fishing pole.

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Strangest of questions.  Thought about it.  Thought back.

Well, sure, I knew one.  Double, multi, entendre.  Is that all?  Is it?

Then there was one I sort of suspected, if more in retrospect.  Just liked some of the tunes.  At least at the time.  Even now, as they captured or encapsulated the moments and have vibes then and even perhaps today.  Probably?

Some?  No clue.  I don't really... get in there that tight.  And this next?  Oh, that has more meanings for me than tickets if they were to be handed out at the Indy 500...  Just... trust me.  I had no idea, until... I started digging for this post.  Now quadruple entendre doesn't even tickle it.  Makes me wonder how many women I was doing double duty with, without either of us knowing... or just me.  A third I knew, some were suspicious, most I thought... never mind.  The woman this song was roughly about... almost certainly as I consider... reconsider.  Crazy, baby.

Her?  Seriously?  No clue, again, until this post.

These groups are new to me.  Again, did not know.  This song, actually, was found as I was remembering my woman and child who died.  It was... a soft beginning... something in there trying to get out.  Nothing to do with more.  I still think she leads me to things.  When I used to run from her, some of this?  Who knows.  More than it seems.  When everything breaks and you run on steam until it all shatters... you get what you get.

Aside from other notions which I used this for, the first time I saw this it seemed like she was telling me it was time to move on... to let her go.  Don't know.  Maybe.  Odd seeing things half in a mirror, half out.  Her ghost through my eyes and vice versa.

This one?  Hmm... actually reminded me of the sister of a friend from high school.  He wouldn't even tell her I was in town.  Thirty years after, I never did anything with her then or since, she is married, and still... he... told me no, and hard.  No!  *grins*

I don't think this next one, but I can see where some might see something that might or might not be there.  Yum?  More bubble gum!  Gah!  Chewed up all that I will allow.  Oh well.  At least there is this.

Maybe her too?  Gee, no clue.  Really?  What about the real girl I was... who was...  Meow?

Could all just be... coincidence?  How could I NOT know?  Memememe?  Some I know, or suspect, or at least understand how it could be taken wrong.  Wrong?  Sometimes?  Often?  Bleh.  Some, many, I just didn't catch, see.  Why would I have just... found them?  I'll get to that.  Now... read the title.  Would you really go diving for fish... if you have a fishing pole?  Like fish all the same, one is much easier, safer, more *cough* dignified, much more easily accepted, and definitely less work... to my way of seeing things.  Still, had I not a pole... or not a good one?  *splash*  *grins*  My guess is if these women had a pole?  No splashing.

Oh, well, and there are more.  Still...  I'll explain more in the next post, or part two.  Some of this was a tangle so I didn't have to deal with a bigger tangle.  What comes first, or last, or middling, matters not to some.  Yeah.  But then, if you have read here long enough there are no secrets.  Better, worse, bigger, smaller, choose your poison, medicine, etc.

I hope this makes some sense.  It... all hit me...  questions and hints and thoughts and lines of questioning and...  I have been ill and then fasting so I wasn't putting it all together.  Then, this afternoon while listening to music...  *ZaP*  Anyway...  I tried to put an answer together.  Good luck.

Home was dead.  I was running from it and to it but could never have found it.  Lots of paths to chase down with nowhere to go, innit.  Only when I ran the fastest, by standing still, did it find me... the truth of it all.  Though that was just one piece that began to make other pieces fit and make sense.  Still a lot unexplained, unknown, harsh.  But... you all did ask.

I got the feeling, sometimes, that I wasn't the only one with such great, often unspoken, sometimes unknown, fears.  It's part of how I fit in.  Touch but don't hold, hold but don't kiss, kiss but don't...