Okay, a bit of bragging. And more.

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I really didn't think I would get to much.  I was trying to triangulate a path.  I just couldn't see it.  Sometimes that is enough to shut me down.  I gave up trying to mentalize it, deciding to just take one step at a time, each step it's own, and go where it took me.  A shower first.  Wonderful, terrific, relaxing, cleaning, pleasant, and some other things I can't remember off-hand.  I am not sure where next, but I think I collected the parts for return or insurance of fit.  I bagged those, then set them with the slacks and packages to go.  Then found my car keys, lit the auto up to pull her out of the garage... it's the only way I could load, easily, the bulk I had to put in.  Each and every went in.  Oh, and another piece from the hardware store... a flexible drain pipe elbow.  That is where the problem is.  I will try to fix that myself, with this idea I ran across while reviewing other problems.  Yeah.

Having done everything that way that I could remember, and completed my list for sure for shopping tomorrow, I looked around the kitchen.  Ah!  A pot of beans needed to be taken out and dumped, as well as some seaweed stuff.  After that, I filled the bigger tub with hot soapy water, then filled the big pot with both soap and smaller items, then the saute pan I had used recently, plus smaller items in it too.  Lots of dishes, I am really behind.  With these done, however, I will be back to near flush.  And I'll want to him them tomorrow, so as to get a shower in.  Then set them up for another wash or a rinse, as is needed.  Then it's a straight shot in to town.  Dumping the recycling first, I simply don't have room for much real shopping.  Then back to the hardware store, then the dry cleaner, and then the grocery store.  Oh, and I best stop for gas.

That may be it for tomorrow.  Though I may have a bit more when I get home.  If so?  Dishes or possibly the drain for the washing machine.  Perhaps both but I won't promise either singularly.  A day off after that.  I have to take it off, I am well beyond... anything I have ever known since becoming ill.  Weird things are happening.  I think it's good, but best to be a bit cautious at this point.  Then to leveling appliances, doing dishes, and doing laundry as I may, with that priority pattern, with first being highest.

I didn't mention it because... because.  Last night, again, she came to my dreams.  As with the song, she was offering promises both of us knew she could not keep.  Of course, until a woman has a child, she really doesn't know what that means.  I can't tell them, but I know... or more.  She was dressed as she was yesterday, in that dream.  It wasn't "her", but she was channeling her, literally.  Speaking for her, directly, as if a puppet or such.  While enticing and promising, as a woman who wishes to love will do, she asked why.

It isn't as sexual as it seems.  It was just... the promise that love often promises.  I don't know if the rest of the world is hyper-sexualized or if I am... a bit more stoic to it, in it?  I am not indifferent, or completely unaffected.  I am just patient with it, and see it for more than just... and yet less than that, too.  It's a means to an end, if a wonderful one.  Oh, never mind.  On with it.

Why?  Never you mind save that myself, she, and even others know.  But this was between us.  Why, she asked, a number of times.  But not until it was a real question, and not a denouncement, would I reply.  And you all, those who have read here often enough anyway, know my answer to just that question.  Because.  And more.  Because I can, I said.  That is never a fulfilling question to the inquisitive demanding controlling mind of a woman.  She didn't like it.  I am not sure I know or care what that means.  Then again, isn't it only a dream?  Besides, a woman who is angry at you is a woman who is interested enough to be so.  Especially when she promises herself, even if it's a promise she can't truly, always, keep.

I won't say they are terrible dreams.  I won't say they have meaning.  I know nothing these days.  I suspect, if... that doesn't mean much even if correct.  Oh well.  Good night.