Delays.

.
.
Because I can and because I am able, plus because I should, I stay up.

A duty of care to self is no less a duty, perhaps moreso when... the heart is amiss concerning the matter?  I... think so.

Of course, I feel bad.  As the cave cools ever so slightly there is easement.  But the numbers, they keep dropping.  An hour after getting blood sugar up to 112 it fell to 92.  I believed I could eat by then, and obviously sensed a need.  Green chili with beef and bean, and keto pita, plus a glass of milk.  I can't handle more than a small bowl.  I didn't check bp.  There is nothing I can do about that anyway.

I will finish the milk, then check numbers in another hour.  I want to see blood sugar satisfactory and stable for several hours in a row... three, two if really right.  I just have no way of bumping bp.  Still not sure if it is a cause, symptom, or both.  I am pretty sure it has been both, both bp and insulin have been both.

Someone seemed to tease... mock.  Definitely seemed a mocking.  Then... seemed to take another pass, from a different angle.  And, finally, pulled a video I didn't play before... it used to not be available to play.  Just... resemblances.  It must be someone who knows me.  Thought I was younger?  Now understands?  Sometimes I look older.  Sometimes not.  Sometimes, I think, even my real age shows through this vessel.  I was about to be peeved, until the last two popped.  But whoever never uses my favored videos.  Odd.  Toying with me?

Here.  See what I mean.


It felt as if they were suggesing health and age in a jeering way.



Perhaps you should be very careful where you put your hand.