Broken.

.

.

I am still awake because...  Because I couldn't do what I wanted to do in order to do what I had to do.  Huh?  I mean, I needed to get to the post office, but had to shower first.  I just... couldn't shower.  So... I... kept dragging on.  Hoping, soon, I would shower.  Finally I gave up.  Pulled my hoodie up over my hair, still in my pj's, I... went.  A package was in.  He had let me know.  I missed getting it yesterday.  I told him I would be in today.  Last night.  And, if more early morning, I did so.  But... without a shower.

Can barely stand.  The package, I had thought, would be larger.  Not so big as all that.  Ten one pound canned hams.  Yes, it's... food.  How tasty?  I'm telling you, if you are starving?  Ham will be damned nice, and pass the artificial potatoes, thank you very damned much!  And, yes, barring a miracle, it's going to hit.  It has hit, it just isn't as bad as it will get.  If even that may take a few more years.  Just status quo will ball me.  More and I'm... actually, I am at my wits end.  I'm just trying to get some food.  And will probably have to learn to live on dregs.  Assuming I can even keep the dregs I have collected.

Anyway, I got the package, and mail.  I even took that right to storage.  It's pretty.  Even food for Sassy.  But that... isn't three months.  For one.  I think, beside myself going on a diet, Sassy is too.  One can a day, though as much dry as she can tolerate... which doesn't seem like all that much.  No choice.  Even at the prices of food now, up nearly double over last year, I'll bet people are giving up their pets like crazy.  No choice.  I'm... worried myself.  Another fifty to hundred percent and I'll be sweating feeding her.  All dry?  Not sure she can handle that.

I'm trying to cut down to cream and maybe two small meals, or one and coffee.  Though... I am sorting how to cut my coffee use.  Brutal, financially, and it is only going to get worse.  I'd figure out gardening, if I could figure out how to stand.  No use in putting in things I couldn't weed, or water.  Wasted.

Still, at least I got the package and mail.  It was only 47, last I looked.  But will probably warm up a bit more today.  The sun is out.  Blood sugar, after a meal and insulin, ended up being 108.  I realized I had made a serious mistake.  I... was sure blood sugar would be higher.  With what I ate, and insulin, I was beginning to crash.  A few of the mints.  On the good side, it takes three mints to equal one carb tab.  So, really, I could have eaten thirty mints to equal one container of carb tabs.  I ate ten, and will probably have five more.  Those first broke the fall, but... just.  A few more, just... because.  Blood sugar may be high as a kite tomorrow, but... I... would rather that than to go through those sweats, and nausea, and else such.

On to bed?  Or shortly.  Goodnight, and morning... day.  God be with you.