More like a midnight down.

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Almost.  Then an 8:00ish wake.  I simply activated the brain and body hives too much to slow it all down as quickly as intended.  All good.  Sleep was what rocks get, and eight hours has become the new six, a bit tight but allows me to rock as righteously as I am able, Cain.  And so it goes.

First thing, out of bed, the growy things get fed.  I do believe my starter sourdough is well and truly up to snuff.  One feeding turning a day, and it would have taken months.  Three stirrings with feeding to of those times, ands days.  Plus I have a ginormous clump of the goo.  Half will stay as is... actually a quarter.  The other quarter is being morphed into... wait for it... ... wait for it... the Son of Doom!  Being from Doom, just using spelt, sure.  When I get to einkorn, I'll name that one the blob.

On to the others.  Milk kefir is percolating, water kefir? I moved it to a half gallon from a quart and I think it's overwhelmed, the sprouts are actually all doing well, if the clover needs another jar!  Two to three tablespoons per quart, they said.  Two I did.  But man are there sprouts.  Not much sun, but it is time so I'll give them what there is trick is to not forget them.

Then on to setting up dishes for in a bit, then breakfast.  I used whey and water to soak oats and rice last night.  I could have gone either way, chose oats.  They taste pretty much the same, but it took less to fill and there really isn't that hard feeling around the food in my stomach.  Placebo?  Doesn't matter, it is the way forward.  Old school, righteous old school, when even food prep was a humbling reminder of our frailty and a safe limitation on consumption... couldn't just eat.  That is where I am going.  Rice, tonight, with meat crumble and salad on the side.

Way too much fail.

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First, just getting going.  I think the shower was finished quickly.  Then... snow.  The machine didn't cooperate last time.  I wasn't quite up to shoveling.  I figured I had most of the afternoon.  Well, at 14:00ish, I headed out to... begin starting?  The neighbor's son the third was there.  I thought he would still be in school.

A bit of talking and I was granted permission to vacate.  So many things to do in town!  Though to be honest I really did want to drive the plow.  Bleh.  Anyway, to town.  I got there, realized I didn't have the parcels to be returned, so...  Back at home I grabbed the goods and headed back to town.  Into the shop, a few questions, at the pay machine, no debit.  MC card has been being stupid lately.  Nope.  I drove home and almost didn't go back.  Had to, for mortgage filing purposes, might as well do it all.

So, yes, back to town.  So very tired.  However, this time it all worked.  First the mortgage papers, then a portion of my bank statement to prove double payment (forgot my account number so couldn't fax that), and finally printed the returns for some items.  Ugh!  Too late to send the packages, have to go back for the fax anyway, but damn... burned out.  And it wasn't straightforward, I had to figure out how to get email and my bank to allow this new device, plus learning their system and Chrome on the fly.  Amazing how well I did.  In, done, out... with all of it... in six minutes and change.  Cha-ching.

I hope to make it in tomorrow.  Once.  And, yet, for all the fail?  I am grateful.  I was able to keep going.  I got the vital part done.  I set the rest up for a quick shot. I didn't give up and I wasn't forced to quit.  I took a hell of a beating but I seem good for it.  By the way, next time?  Bifocals.  I surrender.  My poor eyes got as abused as the rest of me.

Oh, sourdough from the neighbor mrs!  She started the way I did, from scratch.  I finally named them.  Mine is Doom, her's is her name.  As I branch out, I'll have to think of other names.  The Blob is a top contender, I laughed when revisiting that movie and I saw who that starred.  After feeding a starter for a while I also have an idea about the origins of the story so why the monicker fits.  If the goo eats the shoe...

Burned out something wicked.  A bit of music before I crash.  Good night. [20:00, or will be]

At least a three base run?

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Could hace been more but slugger fatty couldn't trip the ticket.  I mean, I got to most of it before butt gravity forced an end to the run.  The only thing I didn't do was make breakfast.  On that shortly.  Easy enough, oatmeal.  Hmm, next time I make it, I'm hitting it with an overnight whey soak.  I don't have digestive issues, It's just that soaking makes more of what I am eating nutritionally available.  Essentially I am cheap.  Twice over, as I want to start using the whey I work so hard to separate and not waste even byproducts if possible.  Cheap isn't always bad.

I may have figured out kefir, or close.  The goal is to kefir about half to two thirds of the milk, to cut carbs yet still have some regular milk.  I am still working out how many jars (quarts), jugs (half gallons), and pint backups.  Each week the process gets more refined.  As to variable want?  There is some flexibility.  Beyond some point, when I am out that is it.  As such, I am also fiddling with consumption.  A larger glass in the morning, a smaller one later?  Still figuring.

Good news.  The software purchase was refunded without a fight.  All good.  I may have to get back at the tower I was building, finish it.  Before I buy, however, I will make sure their trialware installs.  After that it's just about entering code(s).  Still, I want the tasks involving the printer done to damn day!  I may have another alternative plan.  If I can't rule the world I am going to look for a cheaper more private way to get by.

Next I'll try to print or figure out some other work around for returns and get that going. Depending on that, the kitchen will be hit after that.  I will hit it as strongly as I can.  I am really setting today and tomorrow to completely do the kitchen (proper).  The niche next?  Or back to the front room?  I'm thinking you varment.

Breakfast first.  Later.

Awake with a side of headache.

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Up at out at 4:40, to bed at 17:40?  Close enough.  Must have been tired, which caused me to sleep wrong?  Though, sometimes, sleeping in a bad position just happens.  Though, as often as we sleep, you would think we would get it right nearly always?  I have other problems, of course.  When they haven't been a curse recently it is easy to forget I shouldn't even be alive.  So, a little conscious pain, especially after having dug in?  Reasonable.

I didn't do any of the last parts of work yesterday.  I took my break then never got back to it, other than feeding the starter again, and wetting the sprouts a last time.  The clover looks good, not sure about the alfalfa... they are rather old.  If that doesn't work I have others which are newer, and will be buying more next time I get to town.  Radish, alfalfa, and there is another kind I want to try... ah, raw, untreated, sunflower seeds, if I can find them.  As I said, I don't consider these particularly tasty (save the radish, and I have heard the sunflower seed).  That isn't the final say on what is really just an ingredient.  I also don't like raw egg or a glass of bacon fat, innit.

Hmm?  Oh.  I'll chek the growy stuff, feed the starter, water and check sprouts, mess with the lettuce, turn the kefir one way or the other, do the dishes, then make breakfast?  Sounds like a lot, but it is becoming rather typical.  Oh, I will take aspirin.  I've been an awfully good boy lately, mostly.  Of course, I need to wake a bit.  Later.

As I slide from hither to yon?

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Being the man on the moon, if only in her mind?

How can time fly while dragging on?

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It should make up it's mind.  Probably a woman.

Dishes and more dishes.  Some dishes were washed in order to end up dirtying more dishes.  Breakfast beforehand, a cheese and mushroom omelette, with a scoop of salsa, plus the last of the milk.  I am trying to make it fluffy, I'll obviously have to do some research.  I probably got twice the volume, but I am looking for at least twice even that.  Not sure if cheese and mushroom can go into the batter, or in the amounts used.

I contacted the software company, my least favorite task.  I let them know my request, without options.  What good is extra time if it can't be installed?  As well I explained rather strongly why I do some things, of which I have no choice to a middling city dwelling bureaucratic type.  Don't get snippy with me, soyboy.  Then more dishes?  Yeah.  I didn't do it mommy!?!  Shut up and wash.  :p

Next kefir checks.  Another switch soon.  Then grain grinding.  I can't remember if I initialized the machine or not, which consists of running two cups through and tossing that.  Did that, then ran four cups through, mostly as sourdough feed.  Four cups was just three ounces shy of two pounds.  I held off feeding the starter for this.  I then had to switch the sourdough to another container, and learned a lesson... don't wipe the mixing spoon on the side.  Bleh.  Your grandma's raging...  Never mind.  Oh, and guess what?  MORE DISHES.

Hmm?  Well, not bad, really.  I need a short break then to the dishes, printer experiment, then the return stuff processing one way or the other.  Well, and a shower and shave.  The kitchen?  Doubtful.  I am getting much done, in rather good time, and by priorities, mostly.  I won't worry about what doesn't get done at this good pace.  I don't have much hope for the printer rigging, but why not give it a shot.  Later.

More and more still.

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Awake at what I roughly thought was 5:40 but ended up having to be 4:40, I didn't get out of bed or go back to sleep.  A bloody nose as part of why to stay put.  Not really still tired so I wrested from bed shortly, 5:26.  All good.  Dreams, but lost to the night.  Rested enough to give the day a go.  No pain, surface pain, at initialization.  Probably some deeper stuff, just... pretty sure.  No problem, there should be.  I have earned it with my efforts.  I am simply surprised I don't have surface pains, ones I can feel through my innate pain insensitivity.  I've been seriously pushing, if it hasn't felt like it, it is true.

My hands are doing better.  Thick rubber gloves, with talcum powder, while washing dishes, or anything else.  Aloe Vera lotion several times a day.  It will take time.  I have changed my mind.  I think hot water is the sole problem.  Still, slowly, better.  Actually I will also begin using Germ-X to wash my hands save in the shower.  I just pushed through a lot of dishes in a very short time using water hot enough to burn mot people outright at 160 F.  Yeah.

First thing, check my growy things, feed the sourdough starter, water the sprouts or soak them a bit... they only got four hours before it was bedtime if I pushed to give them that.  Then tea, medicine, and some thought as to breakfast.  Cheese and mushroom omelette?  Well, and time to wake.  Perhaps a shower and shave in there, plus making the bed?  Wow, maybe.

I haven't quit with the printer.  I am going to try one more thing.  If that doesn't work, there is still a guaranteed way.  I just... fear the Mines of Moria... or... the dollar per fee, actually.  Same same!  When I can, I am persistent.  Though not every battle fought can be won, nor can every battle be fought.  But damn it, if I'm going in I want a body count, destruction, and at least a little collateral.  I may not be known but I will be remembered.  I will linger.

Else?  That is just morning warm ups!  I will finish the business the printer was intended, which is actually two-fold, whatever it takes.  As well, lettuce and spinach will be cleaned and processed for salads. Dishes will be done, and the kitchen will get a major hit.  It's been a bit, it's time.  Oh, and I'll start on a refund from the security software.  If it won't load, and they can't do it remotely, I am done with them.

Anything else?  You know, no.  I doubt if all of this will be done to completion.  If I hit what I can, with a few absolutes... some things take time.  Yeah, that is my day, at it's best.  Later.

I've done what I could.

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A shower, neck down.  Maybe should have shampooed.  Time was too short.  Cooking gets to hair, frying anything especially.  Then to the post.  No package, no problem.  Then to town.  The only thing not available was einkorn in smaller amounts.  I almost expected that.  I asked for prices on spelt and einkorn in bulk sizes.  They have to research.

A bit after getting home I installed the cartidge.  Everything seemed to work.  I ran an alignment chec, which worked.  But when I attempted to print from the computer, the computer just indicated that the printer wasn't communicating.  It showed up on the computer.  Strange.  I worked with various ports, tried different usb ports and some other things, all to failure.  To be honest I think the computer is simply a toaster.  Was probably built not to work, or set up to be broken to keep it for very minimal directed work efforts and only that.  Trash.  Did what I could.

I placed a call about the ssa doctor's review.  Confirmed and got data.  Ugh.

The only thing I am working on, foodwise, is soaking alfalfa and some other type.  I'll drain them and set them to drain through the night.  I also found my grain mill.  That and the dehydrater have been brought out.  I'm thinking of sprouting spelt after these sprouts, just a bit as a hot cereal.  I've done that with whole wheat before.  Filling but a bit too filling?  Yeah.  Spelt might be different.  As well I will be grinding whole wheat for use in the starter.  Spelt is a bit off for that, at least until the starter is going well, and there is enough to split off.

Tired boys and girls.  I'll keep trying.  Good night.  [18:44]

Way too many things on my mind, and to do.

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Two business emails already.  A call yet to make.  Follow up on at least one of those emails.  A shower. To the post.  Cleaned out the fridge this morning, so more dishes and shopping to do.  Tried magic on the printer cartridge, as mentioned.  Failed but needed so more shopping.  Bits more cleaning in the kitchen if bits aren't really doing it.  A social email or two, blogging,  music...

Yeah.  No complaints.  Pleased, surprised, amazed.  If I can keep this up I will get somewhere.  I am, if not as much in the kitchen specifically or cave generally, getting much done.  Something is beginning to work.  Even with the cold crunch.

The new trash system is working well.  Anytime something is thrown that might pollute by odor, or something the cats might try to retrieve, I just tie the little bag, tossing it into the bigger one.  Plus, the little ones don't hold much, a day or two.  I finally have a fix.  This spring, when it hits the 50's, I'll see about cleaning the bins a few at a time.  Then again in the fall.

The water kefir has  passed to the next stage.  Or I called it.  I set the old water to bubble apart from the grains, putting the grains in with fresh sweeted water.  I added vanilla and a dash of ground ginger.  I'm not sure this first, or several batches out, will work.  The grains may simply not be strong enough yet.  The sourdough is coming along, if rather slowly.  Ugh.  But it is active.  Then again I can only keep the kitchen warmer during the day.  Should target brewing tea for at bedtime.  Crowd the growy things around.  Reminds me,  I'd like to set up sprouting again.  Just edible salad types at the moment.  Wheat type grains won't be sprouted, except perhaps as cereal, until... for a while.  More growy things.  Tastes like green ass, but it's cheap easy fresh vittals.  Something different to add.

Hmm?  Right, best get going.  Later.

It'll get there.

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Dishes set up and done.  Always find more, or dirty more.  I think the little pot survived.  Amazing how fast and easy dishes are, mostly.  If I could just clear the deck of so many other tasks, I am sure catching and keeping up in the kitchen and front bath will be a breeze.  Almost there, too.  Plus, with the tub open full time, showers and mopping are readily available.  With the floors clearing... it's a mess, cleaning up.

The attempt at fixing the ink cartridge was a fail.  It is only ever a hail Mary.  I'll get a shower shortly, then figure things.  Cold again, hard cold.  My gig, if it slows things down.  Hmm, while at it, eggs.  Enough for more batches of souffle?  You know what?  I think so.  And a bunch of apples, more of that super gooder (tm) sharp cheddar, and the idea of sticking with it until I feel I have it.  I'd like to get it to were I could serve it out.

Truth is, it isn't... hmm... I don't believe many would love it.  Food?  Sure, but prepackaged, like or not, has brighter notes and could be more filling... even if using wood pulp and else.  The world has moved on from real foods, has no taste for it.  I am a dinosaur.  Aiming for true old school though, so a feature not a bug.

Heck, something else I will be seeking is ancient wheat, einkorn and spelt... just trial sizes first, if Shangri-la is open, I'll give them first shot.  And I need whole wheat berries.  The grinder will get put to it's paces, or at least used to make several cups of each.  In time I will probably sprout each type, dehydrate, grind, and compare sugar spikes among regular, sprouted, then each with and without sourdoughs of the various grains. Yes, you can transition ap or whole wheat sourdough to einkorn, perhaps spelt.  Probably even to buckwheat or rye.  Crazy, cats.

Hmm?  I best think about getting to things.  Later.

Slow start.

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It's been almost two hours awake.  I did work on the computer first.  No dice.  I did speed checks, which seemed fine.  The only questionable part was latency.  I don't know what is good, though it read 12 ns, I think.  I again tried  to get the software to download and install.  Of courese I realized the system kept timing out.  So I had to reset the power saver options.  They had all of that absolutely throttled down.  Still no good.  I am not sure if the machine is messed, the Internet connection is on the fritz, or if the company is the problem.  People at amazon were suggesting not to buy it there, for the same reasons I am running into.  It might not have anything to do with amazon, I ordered it direct.

I gave up on that for a bit.  I did check the kefirs, sourdough starter, had some breakfast, and checked litter.  There is more incentive to clean that out when it is really fresh.  The girls watch me suspiciously, as if I was going to take it all, or leave my own special package.  Ha.  There's a thought.

I did finish dishes last night, minus one smal pot I really thought of tossing.  Burned.  Actually, I think it might survive.  It'll take another heavy scrub.  As to else?  I think I will see about getting the printer going, use it, get my money back on the security ware, and dump this lemon.  If I want a computer I'll have to put this other one together, and find software which can be installed.  Yikes.

Later.

Good night.

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Dishes, all of them save one pot.  I just forgot it.  It is soaking.  I may just use fumes to do it.  I've done a few other things, like drawing the whey out.  I may attempt to clarify the whey again tomorrow.  It's method, luck, and art, separating the whey.  My method is green, my luck is out, and my art is Picasso which is only valued long after death, and I don't have that kind of time.  Another shot.

She sure gets fresh.

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First, life is just...  Took hours just drifting through the unknown.  Security software is almost as hard to get on as it is to remove.  So I paid a bit extra to get it installed.  After hours getting through tons of terrible instructions that didn't work, stumbling to somewhere in darkness, adding new required software and creating accounts here and there, I finally got through to someone.  And?  They ended up not being able to install.  Most of that was wasted time.  I haven't even been able to download the software yet.

A slow day.

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So much to do.  So little energy.  I hit some dishes then set up another load of dishes.  A batch of meat crumble was fried, then a small batch of pasgetti was made.  I like how I write it better.  I found aloe vera gunk for sunburns, I have started using it.  It starts out tacky, then is slowly absorbed to a normal skin feel.  Not sure it will work, but anything to help with the dry cracking to near bleeding hands.  Just very small parts on a few knucles, but...

I figured something out with the kefir.  If I want it sweeter it needs to effervesce.  If I want it cold and effervescent then I need to give it room in the jar.  For a quart, say 60% full.  If I do this, after double fermentation, I don't mind the chunky consistency.  Though I could blend it, if I have doubts about that.  Besides, the bubbles and whatever else happens in the described scenario enhances the flavor enough that I don't mind.

I also went through the ordering system to find where whatever went awry.  Spam.  Everything was going to spam.  I will see about getting that going.  Ugh but the stupid shit can bury a... guy.  I'll get to it.

Oh, actually that isn't a bad run?  Not really bad at all.  More could have been done, if so too a lot less.  Until I did the list, and even more was done.  No, it's okay.  I'm just buried in to much pokey diddly crap, so it doesn't ever feel like I am getting anywhere.  Little stuff, none of which actually finishes anything.  Drowning in nothingburgers.  Ugh.

Wow, that was much.

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To bed around 17:50, up at 1:00, mostly.  Very needed sleep.  I pushed way into days and did much.  I was somehow ready.  Just getting the machine to work was an exercise in near futility.  The continued failures, going on through.  No trick to it, an absurd persistence beyond reason, tenacity some might call it.  As to the printer?  I will be tinkering with the cartridge.  As I recall, those can be reactivated.  Not sure these days, but used to be true.  Barring that I'll just have to go back to town, old cartridge in hand.

First thing, I set the dishes back up, had a dose of kefir, checked everything, fed the starter which is beginning to bubble (it is going to be fed twice a day from now on, stirred another time), and checked the litter... three very small gifts.  The girls are getting pushy.  But I won't feed them too much, too fast.  And back to once a day, save on feast days.

Ah, something I will be doing, once the ap flour sourdough gets going, is switching some of it to whole wheat, then, in time, some to spelt then einkorn.  After a bit of testing, to see if any are lower glycemix indexed, I'll go from there.  Rye too?  I have the rest of my life to find out.  Might as well get to it.  Plus, it's sort of fun.  Oh, and I could begin grinding my own wheat.  And sprouting the berries on top of it?  Could happen.  Yeah.  Heck yeah.

Back to it.  Oh, I best wear gloves while washing.  While the water is hot enough to burn, that... isn't quite my issue.  It's simply the water.  Too much washing and my finally healed skin is beginning to go down hill again.  I don't need pretty hands, I do need to avoid open sores.  Gloves I have.  I'll need some sort of lotion too.  Should have some.  I wonder if feet stuff would work.

Later.

I can still type!

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There is so much that has to be worked to make a new computer functional... newer.  Just getting gmail to accept the new device was an absolute struggle.  They don't want you to change devices.  That took two hours, more?  Now to the printer.  I got the drivers downloaded and installed.  But the black ink is "out".  Idiot thieves.  *sigh*  It's probably too old to have ink cartridges in the stores, so new machine, tomorrow.

The video works.  The only real problem is the highest rez is 800x600.  Bleh.  It's horrible.  I checked everywhere, hoping it was just a setting limit for the bureaucrats who had been using this device.  Nope, it's a cap, at least with the limits of the onboard card.  I'm not sure a new card can be added.  It would be a small old one, so possibly cheap.  Sometimes they rook you on even those.  "Demand", they say.  Bunk.

Seriously, a lot of work to get this thing going.  A bunch of hardware and software hurdles so far, more to come.  That I am writing my post on it is something.  Brave, first thing.  Though I will try a few others.  Well, and still waiting for the security codes.  Bleh.  They take your money quickly enough, then take their time getting you what you need.

Grumpy, from hits and misses.  Tired, it's been a long day.  I've done good work.  Until the machine and printer are all going, I'm out of the kitchen.  Mostly.  Perhaps I can get to dishes in the morning.  Good night.

Not bad.

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Half of the returns, or all returns to one of the two places where returns are to be made. Have you ever noticed that in order to be precise and accurate... well... it takes a bit.  As to the other returns, they require a printer, which then needs a computer and Internet access.  The computer has the wrong port for either of my monitors.  That has been ameliorated.  A simple connector and it works.  Before I jack into the net I'll see what security software is worth adding, free or pay.  Although before that, a real browser.  Brave, perhaps others.  Ad blocking, full stop ahead.  Messy business.  I wonder if I can still type!

Beyond that, cat litter, cat food, a stop at the post, and a few other things.  Oh, I was wrong about the gas.  The tank was full.  It just looked empty.  I'm such a clotz.  Anyway, I can't get the machine to kick over, if that may just be operator error.  Probably.  However, I do have gas.  And am an idjit.  :)

I'm telling you, I think I'm turning over a new leaf.  If things are still odd.  I seem to have puffed a bit, in the belly etc.  So, what do you, or I anyway, do when weight gain is suspected?  No, not cry like a girl, if I had such intentions.  You jump... uhrm, tip-toe... onto the scale.  260.  260?  I thought I'd be ten, may twenty or worse, above that.  F'ing fat days are stupid!

I am getting to things.  Working as I can.  Chugging along.  Getting places, doing things, cooking as hoped, kefiring kefir, attempting sourdough (as well as thinking about sprouting the grains, as well as considering einhorn and spelt)... Oh, and catching up on the cave, a bit.  Even remembered a syphon for the whey... with a bulb.  No sucking or worse.

Off to do some research.  Of course, who knows if the printer still runs.  Just another thing to fix if not.  Later.

Naps are usually worth it.

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This one was perfect.  A bit long, down at 3:13, awake at 6:30, but Iam as fully charged as possible.  I found a receipt for a larger return.  Now to get the printer working for some amazon returns.  All good.

If I get those finished, then it is back to the kitchen.  While I turned my back for what seemed like a second, dishes piled up.  Wow, just wow.  Oh, I'll get to them.  The good and bad of a kitchen sink is, generally, you can't do more than a basinfull or two at a time before needing to change water, which for me, often, is break time.  When doing it in the big tub it was all or nothing.  I like the new way much better.

Hopefully I can do most of my business functions today, then rest a day or two, along with the rest.  The nap could help me dig further back into a day schedule.  With the return of winter on the heels of spring, everything is up in in the air.  As days lengthen, but some of those days are hidden in darkness, things just get fuzzy.

A bit more waking, a shower, then the printing... hopefully.  Good morning and day.

That's a bit odd.

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Just a food thing.  I just realized I have been fasting more seriously right through cooking.  I haven't been eating all the souffle.  Even if I had, that doesn't amount to much.  That has been all I have been eating.  It isn't even that I don't have anything to eat, even food already made, roast beef, boiled eggs, salad, and more.  Just... forgot to eat else.

Trash and recycling went out.  It doesn't look like a recycling day though, by what the neighbors have out.  That truck must arrive terribly early, before 6:00.  I'll tell you, packaging the trash, filling liner bags, and that, for the house, was more difficult than shoveling.  It's the bending, not the weight or anything else.  I did reset to the new system, where I have two small portable bins which can be tied shut then those put int a larger bin.  Especially good for specific trash.  It would be nice to remove recycling, specifically cat food cans, more often, but they simply don't accumulate quickly enough.

Oh, I usually keep four bags per bin, small insurance against leaks.  That had lapsed.  So, with eight cans by four bags per?  That explains it... seven actualy as I washed one out.  It is drying.  Still, that is 28 bags installed.  Oh, and grocery bags over the smaller, lessor, cans with the bags mostly as backup.  Ugh.  Tired.

I thought about a shower, setting up the computer, and digging in elsewhere.  I just hit a wall.  Nap time.  Later.

No gas.

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The machine was empty, the can too.  Have to get out soon, won't compact the snow.  Back to the shovel.  For as deep as it was in some places, it didn't cover the whole drive or all the walk.  Very strange.  That left twenty yards to shovel, from an inch to five with a smooth tilt from one depth to the other.  A very odd leaving.  Oh, I'll remember the tank next time I get to town.

Not a complaint.  The fresh air, chill, and mild work was a resplendent constitutional.  Seriously.  The machine actually does a better, cleaner, tighter job.  I believe it's faster, if on small jobs that wouldn't show or it might lose out.  Still, I was not just happy to do it, I was glad to be able to do it.  Amen.

Now to shower, put the computer up, then figure out the rest of the night.  Oh, also, I really don't mind being misunderestimated.  There... probably isn't another way to it.  I've understood for a long time.  It isn't me I worry about in that regard.  I'll give you the first stone to cast, should you wish.  If that... isn't what it seems either.  :p  Later.

Snow, a headache, general pain.

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Can't complain.  I've had a good run and I'm not out just because I am down.  I'll get out on the machine shortly.  Even with how easy winter has been I knew it wasn't over.  I almost (do) expext more, maybe a touch of what is happening in much of the rest of the winter world.  My mother says that while they aren't getting snow, the bitter cold has gotten to her this year.  She isn't a winter bird, but she is hale.  ;}

Hmm, this will be the first time I have been on the machine.  I guess the neighbors didn't need or want it.  I'll get to give it a shot.  I should have watched him, if I think it'll work out just fine.  I am definitely curious.  After that I have to set up my computer.  Bleh.  I just hope the monitor cable I have will work.   Yeah, it's about time.

I really thought to take a shower first, but no.  I'll do the blade work first.  Just literally thinking out loud.  Hmm, I wonder if I scared the neighbors off, or finally?

No cooking tonight.  Or nothing fancy.  Just don't want to, if the eggs might be suspect at this point.  Brought them to room temp for a while, hours.  Oh, on a good note, whatever problem I was having with eggs is done.  I am careful though, making sure they are fresh when I buy, that they go right in to the fridge, and that they get tossed after about two weeks.  A new fridge would add a week or two, but this old machine has absorbed way too much... odor... and else.

Ah, souffles.

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I did get going on them.  Finished.  Good?  Yes and no.  Needed powdered sugar to make the apples pop.  More, I couldn't taste the cheddar.  I was a little miffed, mostly at myself... I ended making too much roux batter to fold in with the egg whites, by at least a third.  Which means I both watered the flavoring ingredients down and then only used half of those ingredients.  Practice.  I did figure how to partially salvage the souffle.  Oh, and I keep forgetting to light the oven.  However I figured out how to check doneness, or better.  When it smells right, look at the color and level.  Give it three minutes.  If the color darkens and there is no rise I would call it done.

I don't think I am up for another batch.  It's just a bit much.  Much is clean, some of it reset.  But, yeah, no.  I keep checking else, kefirs and sourdough starter.  It's all getting there.  Not much else.  A shower shortly, then?  Perhaps general cleaning in the kitchen and trash and recycling out.

Oh, I ended up double paying my mortgage and they are being jerks about it.  They did that on purpose too, scabs.  Yeah, so some plans are set back.  There is something rotten with their billing on top of that.  I'll have to dig into that soon.  Damned thieves.  Later.

Jack's raging...

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A friend with some... odd musical tastes.  My own varied tastes.  Reality and... Jack.

It is amazing how long it takes.

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Time is a funny thing.  Though tasks are never what the seem.  There is always more to do.  And I think I can do more between the caramelizing of apples and grating of cheddar.  While I can, it often slows everything else down, especially if I find other tweener jobs.  While that will always be a problem, if the kitchen gets stowed it will be less of a problem.  Which is what I was doing.  The surfaces near the stove and the stove top, dishes as they were being used.  Other bits.

The next souffle is waiting on the roux and then the egg whites.  I tasted the cheddar as I was grating it.  That is the best tasting aged cheddar I have ever eaten.  I will definitely save the package.  Amazing.  Difficult to grate.  I have to bet there is a better way.  I'll look that up.  I am looking forward to this.  The apples were carefully diced for size, then prepared.  I may have slightly overcooked,but I think it'll turn out swell.  Real sugar this time, monkfruit next?  I want to see what I am up against.

All of the experiments are doing well.  Nothing seems to have died, or become aggressive.  I could separate some of it, some not so much.  The kefir water is maturing, becoming less sweet, while the grains continue to expand for whichever cause.  I am, actually, beginning to taste things at various stages... foods while cooking, the various kefirs, even the starter.  Back to cooking in earnest.  It'll take a while to get the tongue back to food wisdom and knowledge but it will get there.

A bit of tea, then to finish my break, then back to it.  Perhaps another batch later, swiss and?  Later.

Right? Right.

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Awake at 21:40?  Thereabouts.  First things first, of course.  Then the mind went right to a next batch of souffles.  Oh, but dishes in the way!  Without thinking I just hit them.  I had done a last bit of kefir and didn't want to fuss with the remnants, all right before sleep.  There are still two jars to clean, kefir is like glue so one shot won't always work.  I need a jar brush.

Then I stirred my experimental starter.  With that the goal for the first week is to feed it once a day and stir it three times a day.  After that, for half a week, I will feed it that once plus an extra per day for four days.  Something like that.  I am not seeing anything but wouldn't expect that.  It'll be days, perhaps weeks, before I see anything, and longer yet before it is good for bread.  Pancakes, waffles, sure, but it needs serious action going before loaf lifting.

Next I checked the water kefir.  The supplier added instructions, which also suggested to expect nothing in the first 24 hours.  Cool.  But there was either some serious hydration or growth of the grains.  No bubbling, just expansion.  The way to see if it is done is by taste.  When finished it will taste more like a vinegar?  At the very least it won't be sweet.  The first batch I am hoping to turn into a true ginger ale, next a vanilla cream, third I'd like to see if ginger vanilla works for me.  Then I'll check blood sugars with it, and some other things, including milk and kefir, as well as the various alternative sweeteners.

Then I checked the kefir that is still brewing.  One batch separated, one is just working, and some I hoped would separate hasn't.  I am trying to get the whey definitively parted, to be drained clearly, for use in cultured sauerkraut this week.  Yeah, curious.  I'll have some work to do, getting the clear whey out, alone.  I think, unfortunately, the tube trick is the only way.  It is still a whacky experiment.

Though, look what happens when the world is opened a bit more to my capacity!  I'll hold off on breakfast for the apple and cheddar souffle(s), go do the last dishes, then review that recipe.  The ramekins are ready, the mixing bowl is chilled, I'll warm the eggs to room temp, and milk while I wash, straighten a bit, then take another rest, THEN hit souffles.  Still feel as if I am swimming in sand just to get to a starting point.  At least I am actually moving.

No.

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I did the dishes for another batch.  As well, a couple of kefir batches were turned over with most dishes being washed, the few remaining are soaking.  As well, the ramekins were buttered and had cheese crusted on the surfaces and then, as with the now clean copper bowl, all have been put in the freezer for the next batch.

No other work, mostly. The thing with cooking is that, between this and that other things just get done.  The trick just gets learned by osmosis.  First you learn to cook, then keep up, then get ahead, and finally all that plus anticipation... you begin to know things well in advance, and how to navigate prep, cooking, and cleanup on topic plus with else happening.  I will always be banned from full success by bad health.  But I can at least see the program.

Time for bed.  Good night.  (11:37)

The first of the souffles.

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I am certain it was done.  Each ramekin and the patè mold pressed into souffle service worked as intended.  The only problem was knowing when they were done.  I'll look back over that.  The first one I pulled was not done.  The other two, in the smaller ramekins, came out very well.  Further, I took those out seven to ten minutes apart, to test oven hold capability.  That buys serving time, but only minutes.  The bigger one, if only initially half full took another fifteen minutes past the latest smaller ramekin,as expected.

Oh, part of what threw me was not having the oven preheated.  I was so embarrassed I actually blushed, then flushed from a bit of anger, then just put it in with a little prayer. So, now I know, it can be put into a cold oven.  Crazy, Kittycat!  Learning as I go, but well, and as usual by unintended operations, aka oops.  As well, one of my abilities served me well.  I grabbed one of the ramekins thoughtlessly.  They were in at 400.  I didn't burn or even sting, but I used mitts after that.  So very strange.  Oops indeed.

Taste?  It was good enough.  I liked the one cooked longer and the bigger portion, they developed a bit more skin on top which offered contrast to the fluffy center.  It wasn't too eggy, at all.  The real problem was the cheese was far too mild, if a perfect food for someone who is ill and can't handle much flavor or is prone to stomach upset.  Me?  I'll try the swiss, but I am thinking Gorgonzola.  Perhaps with olives.  Hells yeah.  Or chocolate, perhaps the apple and sharp cheddar.  Otherwise the texture was right, color and spooning and plating worked, just too mild for a young jazzer and all that jazz.

As to making batch after batch?  I would need more ramekins.  Which... I will buy another group, and a few larger ones, but... I'm not going too deep in.  I need more for other cooking and baking anyway.  I'll do the dishes and see if kicking out another batch is possible.  Apple and cheddar?  If I can, yea.

Short darned nap.

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Not as snappy about it as it might sound.  Just a bit miffed.  Wanted to sleep to attempt to make some timing issues more easily.  Just would not work.  I may have gotten a few hours of rest, sort of?  It was something.  Perhaps an actual nap later and this will work to move the hands on the internal clock.

Before going down I set up the roux, mixing bowl, ramekins, and else, for a first run at a cheese souffle.  The else where washed, dried, then put in the freezer.  Hmm, I wonder how extra egg yolks could be used?  I need to beat the egg whites, fold that in with the roux, then bake.  Hmm, best butter the ramekins, and coat them.  Some say to use breadcrumbs, but for savery, using asiago sounded much better, also with butter of course, and probably more lowcarb compliant.  For sweeter, dust with cocoa powder.

When I got up, however, I noticed some of the kefir was ready.  This time I watched the kefir much more closely.  I caught it just, from my experience, when it might be just right.  I think I caught it.  Then while straining I was careful in getting the highly liquid out in one batch before getting the grains and cream out on their own.  Perfect, I think.  The two quarts of gooder(tm) cream kefir went into the fridge, bubbling away nicely still.  The whey was left out in the hopes of separating more solids.  I really prefer my kefir cool to cold.  As well, I am experimenting with growing large grains.  I only have small little things.  I have several "labs" going, in and out of the fridge.

A few more eggs to be separated, the whites beat, the roux awaken, then we'll see.  I only have enough eggs for six to eight double batches.  The next time I am out I will purchase four dozen eggs.  I'll crack the case, Hoss.  The first batch cheddar, then swiss, perhaps chocolate, then who knows.  The goal is to get them to rise and look right, then taste right.  On the later I am flying blind.  I've never eaten them before.  Who knew.

Later.

Something going.

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Two or three, four loads of dishes?  Probably four or five small loads, with one more to be done after this post.  Plus with raw milk in, I am kefiring half a gallon of that right away, plus the spare quart is set up.  I may just have to run enough batches so experience will give a better plan or I just get used to how things are.  There might be thickeners to add, such as phylum husk?  I am a bit disappointed in all my efforts I haven't been able to get it as thick as the store-bought, not even close.  

I've done a few other things.  A shower, a bit of straightening in the kitchen, and checking schedules for business.  Ugh.  I believe a nap, then back at it... after the dishes of course.  Later.

Sleep is moderating.

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At eight hours, plus or minus, the modulation is there.  The frequency is now the problem.  Sort of like starting with both feet nailed to the floor, loosing one is gooder but not quite betterer.  With it getting so dark in the day lately it has been difficult pushing even to work.  Kicking nights to days is brutal.  Much more than work.

The stand mixer arrived today.  I haven't unboxed it yet.  It is 28 pounds shipping weight.  I thought that was going to be a test.  Not so much.  Scooped it in one arm as easily as a gallon of milk.  I am curious to see this monster run.  Yea, I bought better attachments, a cover, even a smaller bowl for smaller batches of lighter stuff.  I don't think the small bowl will handle dough, but I could be wrong.

While I have to be cautious with carbs, there are a few ways to mitigate.  Sourdough and sprouted wheat, actually and a mix of the two.  There is also grinding your own wheat, perhaps.  Not sure how glucose stabilizing any of that is.  Will be finding out.  Though that is far from the only thing this will be used for.  Just... to find a place for it.

A shower first thing.  Next a bite to eat and a call.  What else?  I am hoping to get back to work.  Today if possible.  Just diving back into the kitchen.  Even dangling toes in would be something.  On to breakfast.

Still feeling it.

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These were from a day before the last sets, save the last song.  A friend reminded me of the musical capstone which allows me to finally send, post.  Yea, works that way.

I am not getting far.

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A bite to eat, setting up two sorts of kefir, beginning with sourdough starter, and that has been it.  I have plans for other starter.  Maybe.  Dishes, plus new, are ready.  I am not.  All I am hoping to do is abit of business, then a nap or full sleep cycle.  I simply don't have much to offer today.

Meds, I think, are helping.  There is always a price.  Feeling better for exhaustion.  I best get to things or I'll stretch and break.  Later, or more likely good night.

The trouble with kefir.

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On the one hand, as with tribbles, the culture(s?) can take over.  Not a major problem if one is willing to act as judge, jury, and executioner.  I have no difficulty with that, save my hoarding instinct.  Do I have enough?  Ever?  After some struggle with that I have foud a way.  Actually I went too sparse, I will be adding one more quart backup.  Umkay.  One problem solved, if it took a damned year.  Two!?!  FFS!  Still, it is solved.

Next problem?  Thickness.  What I buy at the store is akin to oatmeal powder hydrated into a glue.  I like that.  From following online tutorials, I was getting something less viscous than milk, almost water.  So, in looking around, I found what was missing.  While vids might (or might not) have mentioned, but heretofore had not been showing as per recall, was the separating the whey as well as separating the kefir grains from kefir cream.  No whey, man?  Yep, man.

Super sleep.

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Not a long sleep, just sound, deep.  Down I think right at 13:00, waking just now at 21:40.  No dreams, save that it seems cold farther east, and other places, still?  I haven't been tracking and they seem to be downplaying it.  It's killing their agenda even with the low-fo's, and beta and below rabbit soldiers, especially since it is global.  How fitting for globalist propaganda.  Cold.

Tonight?  Some chow while waking.  Cooking in a bit.  With the pork roast having gone south,  burger and sausage was thawed, if more like two beef to one hog this time.  I'll fry that and make a rare but small carb heavy, spaghetti and meat sauce.  With half a can of plain tomato remaining from the egg casserole I want to use up.  I'm getting better and trying to use it all.  That should be it for cooking, but not food.  I'd like to work on kefir, and clear and clean the fridge as a start to hitting the kitchen.

As to the kitchen, any surfaces that remain, inside the range to prep it for a self clean cycle, clearing the table, organizing the shelving, setting up the new trash system, then sweeping and mopping?  It's on the list, in the queue, and will all be done in time.  It might get done tonight.  I am surprised with what has been done and that it is mostly being maintained.  I am nearing a rough half way point.  The kitchen since it is in use, as with the living room and bedroom, are the most difficult.

I am sure I will get there now.  On to something to eat.  A small slice of roast, a salad, and milk?  Later.

No nap.

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It just wasn't in the cards.  I am not terribly upset.  It was a soft plan on an easy day.  I hoped a nap would help push my evening on further into the day.  I am certain it could help.  Wanting and  getting aren't synonymous.  I'll still make it to 10:00, if not much more.  It's better than 8:00 or 6:00.

I did cook the mushrooms before they went bad.  Sampled about half of them.  Since they didn't seem poisonous I really thought of eating what was left.  Fine, instead I stowed them for later.  Probably to be doled out in small portions with the egg casserole they were supposed to have been in.  Other than that and a salad, plus strange music, it's been quiet.

Very strange with the music lately.  Someone is almost a shadow.  Gotta be?

Later.  Wait, no.  Good night.

Resting while enjoying the vibes.

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Other than the food and folding laundry, plus a shower shortly, no other work is planned.  The vibes?  Who knows.  Someone must have dug pretty far back.  Sure stirred fond memories.  Scents, textures, sights... tastes.  Yeah.  It's all right there, waiting to be caressed into fullness of contemplation.  So it was.  Responses, someone goofing, algorithms, or someone just enjoying the best of my... worst?  Dunno.

Hmm?  Here.

Got it.

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The only bits remaining is folding clothes.  Mostly socks, kitchen towels, things that don't matter as regards wrinkles.  Even the beef was roasted.  I am speeding along like an ordinary turtle, which isn't bad, beats a rock, and is vastly superior to going in reverse.  Just having the drain moving, but adding in the kitchen faucet, are amazing.  Getting rid of the dripping tub and leaking plumbing under the sink is golden icing on the cake.

I find it much simpler to stay on top of things than imagined.  Still getting used to the new system.  Changing a mind is rather more than it seems.  But when I see the shorter path, like lightning my mind grabs the new way.  It will be automatic soon.  The only thing I'd really like to do further is sand with one of the power tools, then paint under the sink.  The paint saved it from total ruination, but at a cost.  I'd like to repair that buffer before it fails, perhaps putting a drain plate down there, with whichever sort of trap is best, so water won't ever just set.  It was rough as was, I just didn't help.  I'll fix that.

No complaints regarding the previous owners, they had there hands full.  And the owner before was a widow who couldn't keep up.  I'll, hopefully, improve and repair at least a bit, especially as things are finally coming together.  It might be at a turtle's speed, that will do.  Yeah.  If I can get the second bathroom, a new electric panel plus run a heavier subpanel to the garage, and get the kitchen floor replaced, with what else has been done?  Then new doors, and a few new windows?  I can see all of this in the next three years...  Yeah.  Added value?  Not the real issue or a problem.  Just improving living standards.  And passing things on in an improved state.  It's rarely as about me as it may seem.  :p

The egg casserole, this one, isn't tasty cold.  Too wet, throws the texture into the chalky mushy zone.  I hope it heats well.  It was fantastic right out of the oven.  Hmmm, probably best to heat in the oven.  Microwaves don't do the best with this.  I'll experiment.  For food today?  Bacon, brots, a pork roast, and I think that is it.  If the roast 'timed out' I'll pull burger and sausage to thaw for more crumble and spaghetti tomorrow.  Update: okay, the microwave did just fine.  Bleh.

Yeah, I pull what I think I should eat, then, sometimes, eating just stops... I get too busy, I crash, or just because.  I waste a lot of food but far less than I used to toss.  It used to be in the 60% range, now it's 15% or so.  That's raw.  There will always be leftovers tossed.  You, and I, can try to increase efficiency, but there are serious limits.  Just thank God we don't have to eat moldy food, and pray Dems don't win enough to ghettoize us all.  Equality of misery is all their plan offers.  Anyway...

Best get back to waking.  I went down around 10:00, woke around 18:15, give or take a quarter hour.  Still feel robbed by time, a quarter only being fifteen and all.  Don't strain, you'll hurt something.  Later.

Yes, it got done.

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The dishes that is.  After folding the laundry.  I attempted a nap after that.  Resting for an hour without sleeping I finally just got back up.  The beef roast is setting out, seasoned, to be seared then roasted.  A dozen eggs were soft boiled.  I think I have that process down.  All but two peeled perfectly, so I ate them.  Oh, didn't set the laundry to going again.

I'm really tired but sleep just isn't happening.  It's as if I am too tired.  That and I don't want to leave anything wet in the washer.  Yeah, I'll switch the dryer on to work that out.  Things are really doing well.  I won't be getting a shower... wait, the roast has to be roasted.  Perhaps I will shower.  Might even finish off the laundry.  So want to sleep.  Later.

Technically...

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Everything planned was done.  Only every thing I wrote that I would do was not completed.  I wrote that I would do the dishes.  Three stacks of dirty remained.  Didn't want to, did them anyway.  Then?  A stack of new purchases, lids for the stand mixer bowls, a smaller bowl for smaller batches, better lids for sprouting, silicon bowl covers, reusable baking pan sheets... experimental gear.  Yeah.  That is now soaking.

As I fold the laundry I'll decide if I can get to that.  Ah, this last time clothes weren't dry, I checked.  It did run the cycle.  The problem is that fluff won't cut it, at least in cooler weather.  I do have enough for two small oddity loads, synthetics are in, wools next.  I am really jonesing for a nap, and yet I'd like to have dishes out of the way when I wake.  Later.

Superior egg casserole.

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Yes, else is going forward.  Dishes are almost done.  I will be checking laundry shortly.  And of course the casserole.  The wonderful thing is, when I use a bowl or knife, it doesn't just sit until I have enough to take to the tub.  Not everything needs washed, a simple rinse for a pairing knife used to cut, peel, then slice a portion of daikon radish, as an example.  All good.

While I forgot mushrooms, which need to be cooked as well anyway, so can be added as a side, I did put in; canned petite diced tomatoes, a cup of mixed cheeses for pasta dishes, hamburger and pork sausage crumble fry, spinach, and then topped it with cheddar.  The eggs were beaten beyond just blending, if tomato juice undercut that.  Next time I will know, hold the liquids.  Even so, I just watched and stirred as needed. It came out just short of gourmet?  The taste was there.  Texture and plating missed the marks slightly.  Not a problem for me, myself, or I, if the goal is to do better.

I'd like to finish laundry, or turn over a load, but truly finish dishes before napping.  Not sure, but that is the hope.  With dishes out of the way the rest of washing cleanup should be a snap.  The oven is self cleaning, whatever that means these days.  When I get to that, airing out the place might be good.  It gets so hot.  Sweeping and mopping, after surfaces including the to be cleared table.  Ugh.  Maybe not all today.  I'll just keep at it, while keeping up as I go. Later.

A reasonable beginning.

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Several loads of dishes and wondering where they all arrived.  I set some here and there, yea.  On the good side I think I am down to small groups, one soaking and two small piles, and all of larger items.  As well, I put up two loads which were dry, relit the dryer for a load that didn't dry fully or just... I think the dryer flickers off?  Anyway, I have a load of whites after that, then will do one more load, two or three if there are enough wool or synthetics.  All will be small loads.

Once the dishes are done the kitchen will be so easy.  Keeping a small tub in the sink, with soapy water, to soak dishes, or quickly wash them, but definitely finish them at the end of the day.  And anything needing washed, bam.  I'll keep up on my tea jars so much better.  And every day will be a potential shower day, no worry about needing to wash a tub of dishes first.  This... will do.

I may take another shower.  Several this week.  It is a luxury.  I'll enjoy daily if I can, until I feel better.  Going without sort of got to me.  I kept clean enough, I just didn't feel like it.

I'll set up the smaller trash cans on my next shot at dishes.  Laundry should be dry by then, or close.  If I can get easy dishes done, just soaking a few hopefully, there is a good chance I can hit the kitchen hard, possibly finish it tonight.  I'll just cook while at it. I'll hit the oven and niche off the kitchen on my next work day.  As tired as I am, that may not be tomorrow.  I may need a day or two down, perhaps to attempt light sorting. I am getting there, if at a snail's pace.  I'll take it.  Later.

Hmm...  Yea.

Awake, I do believe.

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It is 17:00.  Awake and well, I think.  Still slightly foggy if off to a good start somehow.  To dishes and laundry.  I think those can be finished today.  And more.  I am hoping to really hit the kitchen.  I am so close to making it over the hill, cleaning-wise.  I am just so winded.  A few more things, then back to the front room, then main bedroom, en suite, living room, then upstairs.  With much of that, when done it will pretty much stay done.  Then I'll think about hiring in help.

Oh, no need to buy small trash canisters, I have two.  They must have been for the bathroom.  I had been using them as water collection under the dripping plumbing.  As I recall I eventually purchased a larger one, then even a bigger one which is in the bathroom now.  While that might indicate they are too small by far for the kitchen, that there are two, and I'll be keeping the big can as a collector for smaller but already bagged portions means they will do.  Going from a simple operation to a system, if it only sounds more complicated.  Not having to buy anything is a good thing is all.

Oh, and food.  A casserole works well, more boiled eggs, roasts, and I'll thaw bacon to fry tomorrow... a piece of that every day, every other, on the side or diced in is a little chunk of culinarily heaven.  Hmm, while waking, I'll have a piece and the last two boiled eggs.  Perhaps half an avocado?  They age fast, we'll see.

Later.

Coulda.

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Shoulda.  I got the work finished and lunch made, plus an extra load of dishes and several other bits and pieces.  All within the time.  A nap will still happen, just not as early as hoped.  A dame has been leaving vids.  I even tried to push some out of the queue only to have them return.  Another I simply ignored.  They just persist.  It isn't just random.  Though, could it be ai, or even employees just tinkering?

No, I won't share.  Mine, for now.  And rather fresh.  At least two of them, if in mostly different ways.  Not something a dude would send, as the worst sort of trickster or worse still, definitely from the... a women.  Every time I think they are unsophisticated troglodytes when it comes to all but just receiving complex romantic intentions... could be ai.  It just doesn't have that feel.  Although, if human, thus female?  Wants to love from a distance and would have to be more... mature.  Too mature, probably.

Anyway, after following breadcrumbs through youtube, trying to catch that scent, discern, it's time to sleep for however long.  Perhaps with sweeter dreams.  Damned woman knows too much, and doesn't mind.  Nighters.

Slow.

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One load of dishes from start to finish.  Another load set up and the dish soap dispenser filled and primed.  The soap was too thick, had to be cut with water.  A bit of a trick having filled the container rather full.  Oh, and I figured out it can be filled from the top.  It is so weird to be washing in the sink again.  I was almost afraid.  Why?  Maybe something would break?  It was just like a new tech?  Oh, and I had to empty the dish drainer.  Yeah.

It was wonderful.  I just wish I had more zip.  It is actually nice to wash, have an area to rinse and then set things to dry while hitting the next batch.  The kitchen plumbing is not leaking, the drains are still going down like a tornado, all is good.  The trash and recycling bins were brought back.  They didn't take recycling.  I think I mentioned...

I may take a nap, or do a bit of work then nap?  Yeah.  As soon as I can get up.  Hmm, and scrambled eggs with the remnants of the mushrooms, a bit of cheese, and perhaps just a touch of sausage?  Gouda, cheddar, or asiago, I'll pick or not?  Sounds about right.  I bet I can get it all done in an half hour?  I'll aim for it.

Later.  Good night should I not wake in a timely fashion.

A bit more to gourmet.

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Starting with cold boiled eggs, a slice of cold bacon, and half an avocado, I rummaged through the reefer for dots and dashes which might be had.  Spinach, some was used in the salad, some remained.  Mushrooms, two packs, I took the one that looked the sketchiest.  The other will be sauted, with onions and garlic, for an egg casserole.  These, sauted, then plated over the greens?  Along with several eggs and the avocado made for a superior breakfast.  Oh,  I could have added a sprinkle of cheese to melt into the mushrooms.  Though no terrible loss, and less really is better.  You never know that latter until you overdo.  I hadn't.

Next?  This post, a minor rest, then to dishes.  One load of dishes through, then laundry shuffling, then another break?  It's a plan.  Yeah, I got the bins pulled back in.  I hope it wasn't recycling day, or I missed them.  Out Sunday night from now on, in theory.  Gah!  Though the nice thing with recycling is that I can  actually compress all of it if I really need space.  I would bet the space used, with almost no effort, could be cut to a fith.  With hydraulics, even manual like a bottle jack and solid container, I'd bet I could open up twenty portions.  We did that on subs, using 4k psi hydraulics, with manual hydraulics as backup.  I have an idea whatfor I write, matey.

Oh meds.  It looks like I missed from Friday night until taking Sunday night medicine.  not as bad as I had feared.  When one has three or four days within days, can't quite crawl out of sleep to gather bearings, time just cannot be rightly fathomed.  Yeah, I'm back on them.  I am going to attempt a full "day" again.  A nap in there, and stretch the day a bit to do business.  I've had to pay my mortgage twice.  Their automated system is broken.  I want to keep checking it until I am sure it goes through.  They keep busting my chops on that.  If there is a failure to pay again I'll talk to a human.  I so much prefer auto to Shaenique, at the Georgia Corrections facility for  (mostly, these days) Women.  A few other things to do, if I can.  A nap or two might be required.  Later.

Rather awesome.

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It doesn't take much to satisfy when life has been so out of trim.  How long have I been in that warped event?  Waking last night at 17:37, going to bed at 8:18 this morning, then waking at 16:15ish just a bit ago, makes for the sum of my first regular day and night cycle as far back as feeble current memory allows.  Quite happy.

I did get trash and recycling out.  That was it, no dishes or laundry.  As was I ended up staying awake several hours longer just mentally willing at work.  The trash had to go, recycling more so.  So I don't mind, if I wish other work could have been done.  Working through exhaustion is a tough racket is all.

I'd really like to get caught up, especially in the kitchen, so I could take a few days of to normalize, then try some fancy recipes.  Well, and some mundane but sustaining recipes, like that egg casserole or another version of it.  But when I am in shape to cook and clean up behind while at it.  What is next up to cook, a couple roasts and brots, are easy enough.  Oh, I boiled a few eggs to, perfectly.  Hmm, with a slice of bacon, that sounds like breakfast, plus half an avocado and glass of milk?  Yep.

Oh, I'll pull the bins in first.  They were out by 6:00 or just a smidgen after, I hope that was early enough.  It may be that on lighter days they just run crazy early?  Or maybe they have cause (road repair or an accident blocking things up) to run the rout backward?  I won't fuss at all.  Imagine what it would be like without them.  Gratitude, even if I miss out, actually through missing them.

 Good afternoon and day.  Oh, just remember, if I ever accidentally, incidentally, or even if you think I do it on purpose?  Realize I am often in solid pain, on the surface or deep in.  Just... wish me a long life.  As if that would matter.  It was a frail old blind man who slew Baldar, with but a twig... mistletoe, as you would know it, if memory serves.  If... the devil is in the details?  If too, the devil isn't the only, or best, guide.  Later.

Oh, right.  At this continued rate of stupid I am not sure you will get a summer, except you, Cali.  Oh yeah.  Enjoy the queer Olympics and all that goes with it.

Hmm?

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An old... friend for my part, family of a sort once, now enemy, made an appearance.  A threat?  Sure seemed directed.

Impressive.

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I am pleased with the results in the case at any rate.  I woke at about 17:30... 7, I believe, to be as exact as was noted.  It is, or was, 3:22 when I got to this point.  Is that almost nine hours awake?  Yeah, I am having to work at it.  Truly, I have very little ability beyond just being awake, with a few worries.  For having sight I sure can be blind, if I think that may be part of the price, desired or not.

Laundry is slowly moving forward.  A fine lamb chops and greens dinner was enjoyed.  And, yes, bourbon coffee went forward, kept to medicinal levels.  A shot per 26 ounces, consumed over two to three hours, kept to two drinks thus shots, just...  It'll stir the blood.  Especially if all ingredients are very rarely consumed.  But a demi-giant can't get even a flush.  And, but, yeah, it helped.

I am hoping to do dishes, but getting the trash (and recycling?) out is priority.  If I can get a nap in, it would be good to tend some business after that.  There is always tomorrow.

Oh, about that shower!  In a spic and span tub, with no drips or backing up?  Not having to wash and rinse with a cloth?  But, hey, I actually did well.  As well, I put a hair catcher in.  I didn't think it would catch all that much... it got twice as much as anticipated.  Just a plastic basket with ramps rising toward the center and plastic fingers to grab hair before it might get through.  That right there will save a lot of hassle, forestalling trouble along that lane if not eliminating that portion sum total.  One can hope.

Hmm.  Later, much later, or good night.

Can't stay awake.

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If you ever dreamed of sleeping for days, this would be your dream.  It is my nightmare. I can't stay awake for more than six hours, and that was a stretch and an outlier.  Three to four hours is average, two hours is the shortest time awake.  Not sure what the problem is.  I have lost track of meds, but not until I was well into this.  I have been eating, maybe too much?  Actually I lost five pounds, which makes no sense.

It may just be the dark.  And as spring hits, while it is warmer, it is a wetter type of cool to cold.  Perhaps that is it?  Sleeping so long is hard on the body.  I feel as if I've been through a tenderizer, or to one of those masseuses who thinks pain is pleasure, or even in the saddle for days after not having ridden for years.  As well, the mind is a bit stressed.  If you have ever overslept you probably know these sensations.  I am trapped in them, not quite sure how to escape it.

Hmm, do I have coffee?  While that is supposed to have less caffeine than tea, it doesn't seem that way. Add real sugar and that stuff is rocket fuel.  Whole cream works well in that too.  A touch of bourbon or whiskey can add, but with a higher price unless it is kept to one or two, shorts at that.  Kept to the literally medicinal.  Worth a shot win, lose, or draw.  I'll check.

Interesting dreams.  In-laws, family issues, general life problem solving.  Not much is remaining after waking.  Only that these toils, troubles, mistakes, and sins, when dealt with rightly... life is good.  Take your medicines, accept your dues, then get on with it.  Life is worth the price of admission, then more if you do it right.  Death won't be a horror if you really do it right, nor will life.  Your preference might be telling if for the right reasons.

Later.

Some things!

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I really can't be certain.  Sometimes I wake and am sure I will work, then I crash.  Curtains were put up out back and a load of laundry was put in.  Dishes were set to a fresh soak the last time I was awake, or the time before that?  I may try to hit those while I cook something more to eat.  If I can finish dishes I will try to get a shower and shave in.  Another load or two of laundry as well.  Then I'll be set to finish the kitchen the next time I work.

You know?  I am thinking of going with smaller trash cans, inside.  Then I sort of have to tend it more often.  Although, if I keep what I have, I could bag the small into another bigger bag.  Who wants to go out twice a day?  Just thinking about a trouble area.  I could keep the medium bins for dry, as they mostly are already used.

A pot died.  A favored anodized aluminum.  Spendy pots but well worth it.  Replacing but I can't find the exact one.  There are cheap and nosebleed, I tend to stick to more familiar middling.  These time as well as wear out.  Which... I won't buy nonstick almost anything anymore, but these heavy pots just... there isn't a close second.  I'll get a couple.  If one or both don't do... if both are good?  I've always wanted two, and this one lasted ten to fifteen years.

Well?  A bit more of a sit.  Hmm, after I check the dryer.  Then to a spot of cooking and dishes.  Later.

Crashed again.

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Right after the last post I was compelled to sleep.  I could no longer keep my eyes open or keep from nodding off.  Zounds.  Waking at 17:16, if I can't remember when it was that I actually slept.  It was more like an half hour to hour after that post.  No cats this time.  As suspected I needed to roll.  Though I have figured out how to make the bed so it doesn't fly apart.  One blanket just didn't work... I'll keep that as a spare for rare extra need or for naps.  Blankets are something which shouldn't be thrown barring severe issues.

I will try to eat right away.  Fried eggs with some torn spinach and a pork chop or two.  Perhaps some hot pepper sprinkles and a glass of milk to top it off.  The Lord loves a man with a right plan.  At least if he fulfills it.

I had hoped to make confession and mass.  As can be seen, my will simply isn't going to cut it.  As well, and again, I am so out of sorts that I don't dare schedule an appointment until some regularity returns, hopefully yet this week.  Brutal.

I am still hoping to work tonight.  I really need some food.  Perhaps that will help.  Later.

Sleeping with the fish?

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Three or four sleep cycles, back to back, with small wake cycles of between, what two to five hours?  I am still not certain it, whatever it is, has been sorted.  No dreams in this junket.  The girls, stowing in, and their fussiness, may have replaced that.  Who knows. I do know sleep was much needed if I would rather be doing something.  Titrating medicine isn't helping.  After a certain point, adding medicine becomes brutal.  Stretching sleep while adding medicine is a recipe for potential disaster, of a minor scale.

Today?  Depend if there will be a day this time, again.  If so, just back to the list already developed.  Day?  Just Saturday?  It is so difficult to track days when sleeping like this.  While I have probably overspent, I can recover, and that... needs and a few wants... I am satisfied.

Food?  Pork chops and salad?  A few boiled eggs or fried eggs and maybe a chop?  Or even a lamb chop and various radishes?  I have other choices.  Or, as often as not, nothing.  Too many choices can be as bad as too few.  While I am still losing no weight my shape continues to diminish in the strangest ways.  For now, as an example, the area I can use as my waste, which had been a belt-wide area about two or three inches above my hips, is now from three inches below my hips to a few inches above the old belt region, all that area being the same or close enough.  I still have a belly, but it is obviously shrinking longitudinally and latidinally.  *smile*

The good thing about loss is, well, loss.  The bad thing is I never know just how things are going to fit, or how to make things fit.  At this time, I cinch the belt as tight as possible and pray my britches don't drop.  I am hoping a true waste returns.  I guess that will take more weight (or size actually?) loss in a very small band.  I just don't understand how the loss is working.

On to waking.  Good morning even yet, and day.

Sleep, and lots of it.

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Most likely a good thing.  I have been shunting sleep severely and if unwisely necessarily.  Dreams.  Sweet, pleasant, being tended and tending another.  Not in some specific or worldly way.  A strange song seems to have captured the ideas, assuming the words match the visuals.  I have lost my taste of the tongue.  Just désert, simply désert?

A pleasant start.

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Plans are wonderful.  Often their construction is wasting time.  There are good reasons to plan, and a plan can help.  But everybody who has ever stepped out of planning phases and into the shit realizes, the deeper the more certainly, plans are sometimes the slow burn psych ramping which helps people talk themselves into trying the nearly suicidal.

Not today.  The plans are a rough roadmap, without enemy encampments, fortifications, land mines of any persuasion, or any real danger at all, mostly.  Boredom is worse than the others, in a different way.  Can't we haz a fews minz!?!  Oh well.  The plan is moving ahead, if it has already hit the first unanticipated fork, which was taken.  Food.

While not completely unforeseen, when where and what was undiscovered territory.  Nothing fancy, mostly.  Pretty jazzy for these digs, if that might be changing.  A salad.  Starting with three quarters quart of romain with raw spinach leaves for added punch, three sliced red radishes, six fifty cent to dollar sized slices of daikon radish, two sliced boiled eggs, four green onions diced,  half an avocado diced, a slice of bacon diced, a tablespoon plus half of cheddar, and similar amount of blue cheese dressing.  Keep portions of additions small.  Or that seems to work  for me.  Ah, forgot freshly ground black pepper.  Even if you can't taste it directly, it is missed, if in retrospect this time.

My favorite?  Not at all.  I can't eat just by favor.  Not a bad meal though.  And portioned down it will make an excellent side.  While I was at it, I processed the rest of the red radishes, green onions, and did some of the daikon radish... that isn't best to do too much in advance.  Heck yeah.  I hate tossing food yet so often...

A bit of a break then to dishes?  Hmm, I'll check laundry first, throw in another load while at it.  Would rather load the washer the old way, Drambuie!  Well, as a start.  I think I might get more done tonight.  Can hope.

When, what?

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I hit it like a train.  Sleep.  I had hoped to remember the time.  No dice.  I was hurtling into tunnel vision faster than I could hope to connect back with reality.  The timestamp on the last post seems bogus, by two hours (ish), it seems when government flunky tech megacorps bungle for government tyranny they can't even square the, well, square?  All that lame Indian brain power for you.  Yeah.

Up around 16:30, down somewhere between 9:30 and 11:30?  Yeah.  Which means, no matter what, way too little sleep.  And I am feeling it.  It... just tired.

On the really good side, I am almost catching back up, nearing normalization, finding a way toward having things all working and tacked back down.  It's been a brutal haul, starting with social security, actually before that with the V.A.  Pretty much bureaucratic malfeasance.  Almost finished sorting and back to automation.  Wrung out and still put up wet and the worse for wear.

Today?  If I can, dishes, laundry, and a bit more in the kitchen, plus two bills and a shower.  If not, at least those bills.  So worn.  All good, much has been done.  Later.

Some of most of it.

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And change.  The bedding was stripped and replaced, bedding and other laundry is drying, half of the dishes were done, some clearing in the kitchen, then surprised myself with a trip to the post.  One of the parcels was a form for my mortgage settlement.  Due in tomorrow?  I had received an email suggesting something had run out.  Had my paperwork not gotten in on time?

Without being too nasty I let an email fly.  So stretched, all I needed was an accusational confrontation with what might end up being...  I was careful to not corner.  Appearances, missunderstandings, and so on, back and forth, yet with a nicely barbed potential point.  Not two minutes and I receive a call with the all clear and solid explanations.  Everything is on time, on track, moving forward.  Goodie.

So tired.  Could barely get to the office.  Then got so jacked.  Just coming off the ceiling now.  Crash time.

To the store, beginning other things.

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Just groceries.  Enough eggs to really hit souffle practice, boil some, and have some around for general use.  Several cheeses, apples, basic raw salad makings most of which have been prossessed, a few meats to top that off, and just a few odds and ends.  Oh, I found a package of cod, US.  It was on immediate sale.  I looked for other packs, but they were all shorts.  The regular price was good.  I will start checking fish in my store again.  However, if I find it is processed by the Chinese, or "caught in US waters" then transferred to Chinese services... no.  It means they will be sliding their poison fish in.  It's how they do.  Notice how they say only half truths on packaging?  It's why you have to be so cautious.  Ask, check, verify, several times.  As soon as they think you have lost track they'll gank you.

Everything has been put up.  Some of it processed.  The fish has been cooked.  It, yeah.  Old fish just.  I don't think it was bad, it just wasn't tops.  I'll try 'late' lamb.  Ugh.  Dishes have been started in the main sink.  I'll hit the bedding after this post, then at least a load of laundry.  Then?  Perhaps a nap, or to the post if I am still awake at the right time.  There is, or was, a package in.  I forgot.

I can't keep it all together.  I'll keep trying.  Oh, good news.  My mother had her heart checked.  That is not her problem, her heart is in excellent shape.  She was right, but better safe than sorry.  I don't regret siding against her, only do so because I actually care.  I'm often her yes man, so long as it isn't... a vital area.

Yeah, maybe.

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I have to admit, I want to cook, bake, something special.  A souffle of some sort.  Cheese, maybe cheese and apple?  I have a reasonable sugar replacement now.  It seems a fuss, though what hobby isn't?  I'd like to work the process until I can feed some folk I have been thinking about.  Though this might be tricky.  It would have to be baked there.  I'd want to have made it a goodly number of times... using foreign equipment, even a stove, if you don't know the score, can lead to a pricey pizza night.

Why they don't visit.

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Mood.  Nature.  Perhaps.

New day, same as yesterday.

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Tired, disoriented, minor aches, a shadow headache just off in the distance.  Food might help.  Waking could help if it really didn't do much good yesterday.  It isn't about how I feel, only about what I can do.  No more aspirin for a while.  Food would be best.  Tea.  A bit of time.

Today?  Everything left from yesterday plus putting curtains up in the back 'porch'.  I can't be certain it was ever an actual porch, and even if it was, being reformed, enclosed rigidly, and all, is it still a porch?  I think I can.  But I have wrongly thought that before.  Though, with the whole day before me, I am hoping, while doing the dishes, to do more in the kitchen.  Having the bathroom looking so clean excites me to top off the kitchen.  Then get to the front room, to mostly just top it off.

Heaven knows, but I might be getting somewhere.  I still have an ax hanging over my head, I still have things to do and sort, I still have enemies of all sorts, and I'll still do what I can, starting with one pant leg at a time on to one step at a time.  Actually, I think I will have aspirin.  Much to do and rather behind the eightball.  Later.

No more work.

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No real energy, and other things.  Which is fine for now.  I did make an omelette the Julia Childs way. It worked.  Rememberd from my last attempt?  No more than a teaspoon or nearly two of cheese.  No fresh herbs so I went with a touch of tarragon.  It was... rather plain, if that beats too much much.  I'll work on it.  Yeah, no.  I'll get to it tomorrow.  Just hit a wall.  That wasn't completely unexpected given the last few days, plus months of stress.

I am trying a new sweetner, monkfruit.  Very spendy, even then a blend.  Still cutting sweeteners, just trying new kinds for different applications.  When I have a bit more of a collection together I may do a blood sugar grouping, for a week each, three times a day, then longer term for those which seem to pan out.  Perhaps seeing if cooking makes a difference.  I wonder if, after a bit on low carbs, if most of the alternative sweeteners become carbs as far as the body is concerned.  I know, with regular splenda, it was fine until I really cut carbs.  Then it became worse than sugar.  Yes, I am looking fot near magic bullets.

Not losing weight but size is slipping down fairly quickly.  It's crazy.  I have been more active all givens but I realized I am not eating enough.  I just don't get it, either way.  Ah well.  Later, good night, I'm not sure.

Sometimes it just pops.

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Still a bit rough, and with a major headache off in the near distance, as storm clouds on the horizon while setting out picnic placements.  The idea of a shower really got to me.  So cleaning the tub got top billing.  While I was at it the floor got mopped.  Then the sink got hit.  I haven't had the whole bathroom that clean in quite some time.

The shower is still last on the list.  Dishes, changing bedding, and laundry, oh and trash as well as recycling will go out.  Not what I would rather be doing.  What is to do and by who is left to do it.  I am catching up and keeping up on the cave.  If I can top it off I will begin advertising for help, say five to ten a week,  split betwwen two different days?  That is what I am thinking... depends on the price.  Probably won't start looking until I return from the spring trip.

Better?  I was able to work without aggravating the conditions.  Got it done in nearly a snap at a cheetah's pace, but now will need to idle, maybe nap.  I'll finish the rest today though.  If I can do the unpleasant...  Hop to it Hopsing!  Later.

Fan

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tastic.  The drain cleared.  I have been checking through the morning.  After the third hard endurance test success I called to cancel the routing service.  Tickled, floating on air, all good.  The other worry had been a full septic tank, which wouldn't be a normal concern with just me, however, with the drip, maybe.  Perhaps with the drip gone the tank could drain?  A bit of both?  Pleased.

I slept so well it hurt again.  I suspect that will be happening off and on until I recover.  I really pushed it and while in poor shape.  Though the pain, mostly, as before, dissipates as fog on an otherwise sunny morning.  All good, I think that is more likely why I yet live... if some would rather it otherwise.  Not my problem, or choice, or any choice but God's.  I have learned that more truly than any others, more directly, and taught the only way a thick fool can be taught.  Doubt me?  Of course!  Just don't doubt Father, or test Him.  Amen.

Uhrm, today?  The tub and sink need cleaned.  The dishes, I really want those done, just a few, and bedding and laundry.  I didn't finish the kitchen, but I put a few more dings into the notion.  I won't do more in there though, or not much, not today.  If I can get the rest to zero I can hit the kitchen hard, soon.  If I get all that?  A shower!  Oh, loverly, fantastic, joyous, noun and verb, twas dearly missed!

Partial.

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Success would hold no value if it were easy.  I have found a sediment filter for cold but not hot water.  Oh, they advertise things as under sink, but with inch and an half fittings.  Now THAT'S a sink!  Most others found have at max a top temp of 110(F).  I need much higher.  The easy half is done.  A few calls might pan out, or put the kabosh on the theory.  But not tonight.

Actually, I think I saw my shadow.  Six more hours of sleep?  One can hope.  I do have the sense of having been run over.  On the good side they backed up over me to check, driving over me on their fine way when they realized the situation.  Did I write "good side"?  At least they didn't peel out.  Good night again.

Strange.

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Exactly an hour after the last post, at 19:05, I crashed.  Hurtling toward sleep at a fearsome pace, I suspected there would be pain in there, during though definitely after sleep.  I meant to take aspirin.  That damned collapsing tunnel vision mind vortex ate will and thought.  Which is fine as it works out.  Awake at 23:00 (and some change).

Waking to... solid pain, I just move slowly, attempt to regain focus and poise of first spiritual then mental natures, recalibrating my various x,y,z,and t axes.  If those things can be set up I can then triage.  Today, as usual, recalibration was sufficient to the task.  Pain, if not completely gone, can be contained... no running, jumping, or wrestling bears, the stays are weak.  But there is plenty of room for most else.  That's what I get for hurtling the moon by remaining awake so many hours in my shape.  No choice.  Had to be done.  Got done.  Ugh.

I will begin the returns on the other faucets.  Urhm, once I wake.  Lord knows, that process will be slow and arduous this... day.  If I need and can afford sleep later, I will gladly take it.  What else today?  Not much, until after the drain is cleared.  Not much after even that.  I am in recovery for the next few days.  Then I'll have the kitchen sink and drains all going and can keep up on regular life.  Ugh.

I spoke to him about the en suite.  He suggested changing to plastic piping, as the galvanized is probably the source of problems.  He strongly suggested inline sediment traps, just using flex supply line connections to install under the sink.  So I will get on that.  I can easily do that.  And the faucet, if just on the sink, fails after just a few weeks otherwise.  Yeah, I can do research.  After that, and the routing costs, I'll decide if I can get someone in to mess with the water softener.  I don't think it's working.  Though I will take a look at it again, emptying it down to nubs, myself, first.  If my efforts fail again...  Then I should be back to full optimal operation?  I sure hope.

Late.

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It is how it works.  No fuss though, as three of four goals were managed.  The tub faucet from shot springs no longer drip, the plumbing under the sink has been rightly installed, and not only did he get the faucet installed he used the original so I can return the others.  Meaning I am in the black on the visit.  As well, the UPS driver gladly took the package of paperwork for the mortgage.

The only thing he couldn't manage was the clog.  Or so far.  The stuff he put in might still work.  I called another he suggested for that.  If it doesn't clear overnight the other guy will be here tomorrow afternoon.

Zapped.  At 11:30 I was awake for 24 hours.  It is now 18:05, you'll have to the ma... 31 hours up?  Didn't want to do that.  I'll have to chill a bit, come down, before I can crash.  Pleased.  I was even possibly helpful if probably not the most erudite of conversants.  Aspirin.  I am running on ground to a powder Doom.  Oh?  Yeah.  Not as happily sing a song as that may seem.  Good night.

Awake so long.

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Pain. Neck, shoulders, plus a solid headache, even after a slug of aspirins.  Just.  I have been awake nearly a day.  The plumber will be arriving shortly.  I did a bit more cleaning but thar wasn't the reason I stayed awake.  I knew if I went down when I could have I wouldn't have stirred when he arrived.  I thought about a note, but, no.  It isn't a good time to be pushing.  I simply have no other reasonable option.

I would like to clean up a bit.  Lord knows I need it.  I am airing the place out a bit.  Sure the furnace will belch, which if seemingly wasteful will assist in the aim.  I suppose I could shut it up now.  It's done what it can.  Messy.  Trying to plan and implement those plans while so tired.  Oh, if I can fill out the paperwork and have it ready, then catch the UPS driver, I might not need to go to town.  One can hope.

On to work.  I made quinoa, turned out perfect.  Will try it as a cereal.  Not sure it works that way, will find out shortly.  Good day.  I hope you get your things done.  Later or good night.

The closer to death the closer to her.

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I wasn't the Narrator trying to become Durden.  Just the opposite, after everything fell apart.  I couldn't seem to die.  No one near me could remain alive.  I burned myself with a cigar, but I ate the lye.  If you wonder why I doubt I am human... find any one else who ate half a cup of the stuff and even lived.  Yeah.  I was trying to forget, or the rest of it, not intending to become something special.  Well, since death was being such a fair weather friend.  I have forgotten most of it, save the recent rent about to be mended.

Everything is off.

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Heat?  As spring approaches, so it seems, it is really warm.  Certainly for this time of year.  I can't seem to hold a schedule, sleep as well or as deeply, or else. It's an ugly moment, probably won't be better until it stabilizes into summer.  Though, maybe, sometimes, the wave is smoother.  Ah, meds too.  Just a bit more is hammering me.  I wonder what would happen if a normal took it?

I was a bit worried as to whether the other faucet woul arrive. It did, as did paperwork for home refinance.  I have to do that today and turn it in tomorrow.  It didn't arrive on time today.  Ugh.  Getting it in early tomorrow will be a trick.  The plumber is coming sort of early and will be here a bit.  Not sure I can be awake early enough.  Heck, worried about being awake for him!

At least, with food made ahead, that isn't constantly being tripped over.  Though I suspect some part of my problem, while it may not seem so, is not eating enough.  That shuts down the engines and wants everything turned into fat.  The trick is figuring out how much to eat to just keep as much lit as possible, but also given my conditions.  With the bad heart I can only run at a partial burn, inconsistently, and not always the same engines.  Though, whatever else?  My organs haven't been hurting regularly.  The other day was a rare event and of a singular area or organ.  Weeks, a month, more, since my internals were troubling, and that last was some sort of illness, perhaps an infection, not my usual.

As is I can only do what I can.  Today?  Finishing the kitchen, doing all dishes by the end of the day, topping off tea jugs, touching off the bathroom, and doing laundry?  Well, in theory.  It isn't all that much, but for me, today, it is a brutal lot.  I will focus on the main things for plumber facilitation, then hit what else as able.  I'll need to be cautious with the wash.  While it is an high efficiency, it might flood the bathroom...  Careful!

Hmm?  Ah, a bite, medicine, waking time.  I'll need to wash body and hair too. Ugh.  Later.

Yesterday and today.

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I did a few things yesterday.  I cooked another package of bacon, for use with salads and as a snack.  I'd best watch snaking or it will be gone before any other use.  As well I made the grated cauliflower pizza.  Actually?  That was really good.  I am buying smaller cans of lower carb diced tomatoes, with nothing added.  Along with tomato paste (from a tube so the can isn't wasted), perhaps chopped onion and/or garlic, spices of my choosing, I can really go to town or go easy.  I need to find anchovy tubes as well, thinking about it all.  You want umami?  Anchovies.  Italian's love their little fish to add richness, a meatier taste, and that... something else.  The culinary parallel to the stinky additive that separates good perfume from exquisite.

Hmm?  Oh, the crust was two(ish) cups grated cauliflower, a large egg, and about a cup of cheddar and monteray jack mix... I thought that would bind better than the cheddar alone.  Combined well, formed as a circle, then baked for twenty minutes.  Then cooled while I put the sauce together.  On top, bigger mushroom steaks, raw spinach, sausage crumble from yesterday, and cheddar.  Good?  No, I'd honestly call that great.

I suppose seeing worse is for a reason.

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A dream, as an observer.  A kid with some sort of mental retardation was the focus born to a war widow in WW II, by what I could tell.  He was doing well enough, if things had remained as they were he would have been ready when he grew up.  But then his mother died.  There ended being three choices, a decision he didn't get to make.

He had grandparents, on her side.  They didn't care for the boy.  It wasn't his condition, they didn't want the fuss.  The retardation was simply an excuse.  They would be hard on the boy, brutal, worse.  I realize now, as I see in the hearts of those around me in real life I also see as such in my dreams.  I wouldn't call it a gift.  Though something about that?  I don't need to be near, and I see other things.  Might have started with INFJ, if I doubt even that.  Either way, it certainly doesn't stop there.