A jalapeno and tuna salad.

.
.
A jalapeno and tuna salad?  I don't stutter.  That and a can of spicy vienna sausages.  It wasn't great, and I meant to grab plain vienna sausages.  Probably much better blistered over a fire.  Not exactly a super meal but keto friendly, enough, and just barely good enough.

Further, I reorganized one of my cabinets so as to remove foods I don't like or don't eat, filling those shelves with the packable trail foods and snacks.  They aren't great tasting, but when hungry, will do as snacks or meal additives.  Trail meals are rather lacking, especially for biggens.  Doubling is too much food, too expensive, and weight prohibitive... these things just add a few more needed bites.

Food, at home or on the trail, for me, is no longer primarily about taste.  Once in a while, sure.  But food is now about energy, nutrition, function.  Even on keto, I have to limit pleasure.  Keto helps, but I have to do my part.  That means eating whatever it takes to win.  That will often require boring food, and often more than I want (of the boring food).  And weight loss has become a part of the lead targets.  Diabetes and weight loss, now, are equal aims.  Which means weighing twice a week, say Monday and Friday?

I have now had three work periods of about two hours.  I am hoping for enough more time at work to get clean clothes folded or hung and put away.  We will see.  All of it has been sorted, some of it folded, but there is a lot of it.  If I can get it done, I will shower and change the bedding again.  Yeah.  Getting things done.

I definitely have boxes to break down.  As well, a lot of packing material to pop, compress, and bag.  I am surprised at what has happened.  Work is moving right along.  Of course there is so very much to do... as with climbing, if you fear heights, looking down is ill advised.  In my situation, looking around is what is dangerous.  Work everywhere... fear inducing volumes of work.

A bit of gaming as aspirin hopefully begins to relieve knots.  Then more work and a shower.  A fresh bed and shower would make tomorrow an easier work day.  Later.

It isn't working.

.
.
I can't find my smaller pack.  The place is rather rough though.  So I am just going to dig in by digging out.  I started in my room.  Thankfully I have plenty of boxes.  Nothing is well organized as is.  Everything will have to be roughly sorted.  After enough is tossed, then much will need to be reorganized.

Some boxes will be broken down in the process.  Too big, too small, odd shaped, those must go.  I have no idea about priority, though perhaps that will make sense in time.  As is, I am packing as possible while setting unusable boxes off to the side until there are enough... or too many in the way, then tearing them down.

It will take a while.  I think, if I can hit three to five hours every other day, a week could see a much better situation, and probably a lost pack.  Two weeks would make the place nearly righteous.  I do have my big pack, which can be taken down to a tiny day pack, doubled, or with the main pack alone as a major pack, or completely collected into a massive pack which can easily carry 150 to 200 pounds of gear, if one was capable and so inclined.  I'll begin breaking that down and reorganizing it... or just organizing gear outside of the pack for better loading as I get closer to going?  Yeah.

I wanted to do this anyway.  While I didn't order the dumpster, and won't for two months, not until mid-July, I can gladly have boxes ready to load, getting one delivery immediately, and another and hopefully the last out by very early August.  A few chairs and a lot of... other stuff.  Maybe an old bed if possible.  Ugh.

If I can't get out, it is time to get hella busy.  A few more work periods in the room tonight, then on through to Saturday.  I will probably crash Sunday, maybe Monday too.  If my health is actually improving, I should be able to dig in for several days next week, and per run.  We will see.

I've got to figure something out for dinner.  Country eggs are back on the menu.  So much better.  Sure, duck eggs, but I am trying to let the ladies figure out brooding, and I desperately need hay.  So, until that is sorted, I am stuck not using those.  So I was pleased to see the arrival of real eggs.  The others, store bought but free range, have improved, but they just aren't farm fresh.
---------

Ha!  I was writing, then something caught my attention, then I got lost in work.  Almost an hour.  Five boxes filled, a bunch of empty boxes sorted, most to be broken down.  I hurt my back with all the bending and lifting.  A break, then I will get those boxes moved out to the spare room.  A few baskets of clean clothes to sort, which would both resupply clothes... I had thought I was somehow out... open a lot of space... and really get me set for more work.

As I work through, I should get to a point where the extra standing closet and wire shelving can be installed.  Gotta happen.  Though, once things are opened, I may not need that much extra space.  If not, I may put those in other rooms where the space would be needed.  As an example, put it all upstairs for organizing camping gear.

Blood sugar is 136.  The reading earlier was 237, but as low as fasting and now, I have doubts.  This meter, or the strips, seem to go wonky every fifth to tenth read.  It is better than it used to be, but just off.

I do need to eat.  Not sure what.  Chia and flax is fast and easy, but doesn't sound good.  A tuna salad?  Bleh, but maybe.  After laundry is up, a shower.  I shaved yesterday, so that is still excellent.  Yeah.  We will get there.  Ugh though.  Just... ugh.  Later.

Strange and good collide?

.
.
To bed by midnight thirty, up, mostly, at 6:30.  I didn't actually get out of bed officially until 7:15 or a bit before.  I went to the bathroom, then tried to go back to sleep.  It just wouldn't happen.  Then the girls decided to knock.  I shut them out last night.  If they can't get me to grant them entrance then they try to get me to wake.  I can't believe I was able to wake so early.

Blood sugar is very good, 161 fasting.  A seventeen point drop from yesterday morning.  I wasn't sure after what I ate yesterday.  I had a lettuce wrap burger, which is keto, but also fries.  No soda.  Still, I suspected that would severely set me back.  I tried a can of hot and spicy vienna sausages for supper (canned mini hotdogs in slightly spiced weak tomato sauce, really).  It is under consideration as trail snack or meal supplemental food... high fat, medium protein, few carbs.  Not fantastic but it will do.

A bit on the groggy side.  To be expected.  I hope to get my gear together today.  I only want rain gear and hiking clothes, a simple grouping of cooking kit and foods, and a few minor other pieces of gear plus three days rations to get an idea about weight and stowage.  While I have hiking boots, I may change to trail runners for longer treks.  For now though, just hikers.

I am hoping to get to my list as well, house cleaning.  We'll see.  Oh, I missed medicine last night.  Not worried, less than once every other month.  Later.

The problem.

.
.
At least one solution.  When hiking for longer periods, while trying to do keto, fat is a problem.  One fat, certainly, that holds up to outdoor conditions... to some degree or another... is ghee.  It is expensive to buy, but reasonably priced to make.  And, actually, making it yourself is the only way to be sure what is actually in it.  I have ordered a mid and higher priced container of it to find it had other oils in them (other oils are cheaper, weren't listed on the labels but you can tell by stratospheric pooling).

I would guess superior lard and tallow would work for shorter runs.  As well, coconut oil would work.  Variety is necessary.  Package and send certain staples, or have someone send them, to keep some stock, or all.  I would guess trying to buy food out there would be ridiculously expensive.  It's bad enough on Amazon.

Now, that is fats.  For general foods, for keto, I think I will need to dehydrate my own foods.  Jerky is okay, but has too much salt for all meals.  Dehydrated steamed ground meats, with as absolutely much fat removed, some canned meats, mre's (rarely), and freeze dried meals (rarely), should work.  To get enough food prepped, boxed, and ready to send?

Yes, I am considering a few weeks to a month or two out.  Perhaps as a gift for escaping diabetes.  If I can beat it.  I have everything I would need.  Humping the hills?  I suppose hunger, facing starvation, would be a factor.  I would definitely want to see myself prove capacity.  Only in Utah though.  Perhaps Idaho?  It would depend on a few things.  Yeah, just thinking as I plan to get going on my first hike soon.  I will get my small pack ready tomorrow.

Oh, pedicure today.  It's always a good thing.  I may need that less.  I'm thinking on it.  It is quite relaxing.  But my skin has healed and lotion is truly keeping my body in good straights.  I'll see how tough summer is on them, and hiking as well as swimming.  Those will happen.  Later... or good night.

The first hard morning in a while.

.
.
Ever gone for an extended swim, run, or such when you are out of shape?  Or stretched your routine just enough to dig in?  That whinge in your side that goes deep, when you do it right?  Not the little one which passes almost as soon as you stop, or fully catch your breath, but the one that is going to stay with you a week... you just know from experience?  Right.  Well, that is everything from the ribs down.

Oh, I have definitely had worse.  This almost feels like that gassy bloat, on the medium to high level, but in every organ.  I almost suspect the coconut flour.  Maybe.  My only drawbacks to that suspicion are that the bloat seems to be everywhere (which can be countered by one area actually expanding enough to push into other areas), and that it took so long after the meal to manifest (possibly countered by my not doing anything to place demands on digestion, so it wasn't activated very quickly).

I don't know yet.  After Drano, even so long ago, my body... doesn't react completely normally.  No complaints, just an understanding.  I think, if it isn't sure about something, it quarantines it.  Really really.  I think that is what it is doing.  I sort of know, from experience.  Due to my and other abuses, my body is not my own, and will act in, on, it's own behalf.  I have learned, if I wish to participate, to... acquiesce.  Yes, my body used to be able to shut me out.  What it did on it's own?  I will probably never know, if I think, like any dying animal, it just sought a dark, warm, safe place to hide and curl up.  We have been dying fast most of the last thirty years, after all.

Blood sugar right out of the gate is 178, down five from yesterday morning, which was down seventeen from the previous day, which itself was down five from the day before.  A very solid, steady, decline, with only one reversal since restarting the process, if of only three points.  I'll gladly take it.  I will still have to take 10 cc's unless it drops a lot before breakfast.

Oh, I read or saw somewhere that chia seeds were like soy, anti-androgenic... or worse.  I can't recall the source because I shut it down in fear and loathing.  Believe what you may.  And while I may play a good, or bad, game on the edges, truth is, there is no actual there, there.  So... I was far more disturbed by the notion than you are by my toying.

Eventually I got over my horror and went looking.  I didn't want to quit a good, easy, food... not from one source.  So I went digging.  I checked specific peeps I generally follow, others I suspect are on to something... nothing.  Not involving chia.  So I reverse engineered my searches for phytoestrogens... plant based estrogen... and anti-androgenic foods to avoid (often just as bad for women as men, unless they are post-menopausal, if even that is still debatable).  Nothing, nowhere.  Chia and flax will continue.

They sure pick them.

.
.
A dream last night.  I found an ancient, by US standards, Catholic church.  Irish as hell.  They accepted me easily, strangely.  Some sort of construction project was underway.  They were drilling from the fourth or fifth story to what seemed the eighth or tenth subfloor basement or catacombs.  Something about getting water from a holy spring up to a new font, wanting no bends... a straight shot.

I ended up travelling with some men, younger bachelors.  I learned of their ways.  Catholicism is... not... one notion.  It is all of the various faiths prescribed by the Magisterium, bible, doctors of the church, under guidance of the apostolic ascension.  And, really, each diocese, even individual church, monastery, or other institution, can have variance... great variance.  This church was certainly... different.  Much looser in many ways.  Then again nearly everybody was at least fourth cousins and to everybody.  A bit of laxity was from familiarity.

While I, mostly, accidentally led the lads astray, it wasn't too far off.  Nothing confession was needed to address.  However I was able to find a confessor and do this rite.  For care's sake, I did include my... near sin earlier.  The father just shook his head, said they would likely have had a sip anyway.  They look for a way out of confession.  He knew who despite my only having discussed my part, carefully excluding their or time details.  It was a good dream.
---------

What for supper?

.
.
Fatted tea and chicken, reheated in the oven?  Fine.  Oh, and a small raw potato.  Blood sugar was down to 123 for lunch.  Lunch was the chocolate mug cake with whipped cream.  I forgot to add extra (liquid) sweetener, which was fine by me.  I never really liked dark chocolate, but on keto it really is, hmm, better.  It seems good enough.  If compared to milk chocolate, outside of memory, I would probably like dark much better now.  Sugar is too much, anymore, cloying in some foods.

I cut insulin by 2 cc's, from 10 to 8.  If I have a similar supper reading I will again cut by 2 cc's.  I don't want to lower insulin too fast.  Tomorrow, unless the reads are really a lot lower, I will keep it at the 8 cc mark.  I'll lower every other day unless the reading(s) drops are too severe.  I don't want to cause a backslide, and want to see what each reduction does first.

I keep forgetting to set the meal timer after I finish eating.  Oh well, as roughly as I am doing it is working.  Other than missing a night not too long ago, I haven't missed medicine in... months... three? four?  It's been a while.  I just wish the stat improvements would show up in the ability to function.  I'll keep work on my mind.  Will hit it when I can.

Later.

Time to dig in.

.
.
I am feeling better.  Blood sugar dropped some, to 170 before my first real meal.  Salad is okay, but this particular pork roast was dry.  I diced a few slices, and it tasted very good with the mixed green salad and olive oil and vinegar dressing... homemade.  I am pushing food to later in the day, in an attempt to make intermittent fasting an afternoon thing.  That works better, especially if I can swim while fasting, in the morning.

My next meal will be as easy as can be.  Soon I would like to try another sort of meal.  I need to double the recipes, but no problem as long as I like the foods.  I don't always want 'fast foods', but sometimes it really helps.  Oh, I will make whipped cream for the dessert dish.

A 3:00 bedtime.

.
.
Really?  Yeah.  Just could not sleep after missing the earlier cutoff.  It just works that way.  I did wake by 10:00, so there is that.  The girls were hungry, if that was only part of it.  I could just feel the day slipping away.  While I am not doing much, I keep believing it will happen soon.  I don't want to waste opportunity or burn sunlight.

The girls and ducks have been tended, hot tea is going, and... nothing else so far.  Trash was taken out last night.  Oh, I did get one last bag out this morning.  Fasting blood sugar finally dropped below 200, a 183 winner.  I often wasn't taking fasting draws before insulin and a return to keto, and was still hitting 450 not even three weeks ago.  I finally checked, I went in on the 18th, but with driving and else, I didn't start that medicine until the 19th.

Blood sugar is definitely doing better.  I did one more draw last night, since I was awake so long.  It was 108.  I am definitely getting there.  Insulin, essentially, is replacing extended and intermittent fasting, in it's effects.  But with keto, it is moving toward repair, not simple maintenance.  I am beginning to believe I will be finished with insulin closer to three to six months than a year.  I know two diabetics who would rather just eat as they do and take the pill.  Been there, done that, have the 3rd stage renal failure for my efforts.  It might heal, time will tell.  I try to get them to switch to keto, both tell me they are fine.  And they are and will be, for five to ten years.  But, then, who wants to live forever?  Nobody does.

Same plans as before.  The timer is set for two hours, then a shot and a meal.  Another two hours... after the end of the meal... then a read, shot, and meal.  I am trying to get three filling meals within six to eight hours.  The limit is the speed of consumption.  I don't want to scarf it down, actually I can't... the problem is actually that I am a slow eater.  Ugh.

High-fat food is work to eat.  Loverly food, truly good, tasty, but DENSE.  Anyway... yeah, drowning in food describes it best.  And I have to eat or blood sugar pops... I assume unless I am in mid to deep ketosis.  If not, the body will "eat" protein from my body, turning that almost immediately to sugars.  What I don't get is why my body would be salvaging when I am doing nothing and only missing one meal?  I thought my metabolism was dead, to be honest, or close to it.  Apparently not.

On to waking.  Later.

Gah!

.
.
While I couldn't work today, I could have been to bed hours ago.  However, after supper, I forgot insulin.  It was a few hours late.  A bit of food and the shot... I am beginning to hate food... eat, cook, way behind on cleaning,  *h`tt`ng, rinse, and repeat.  Anyway, them's the rules.

I finally was able to do a read, half an hour shy of my preferred two hour wait.  Their rules, I simply try to abide since they provided my request and I agreed to hoops.  The final blood sugar was 120.  I will bet it was lower earlier, or would have been if I had taken insulin on time, and minus the extra food.  It isn't bad, but 95 would have been better.  I'm trying to decrease my moving average.

I'd better get trash to the curb.  No more out, but... well, it will do.  Then on to bed.  After stalling, sleep dragged out.  Bleh.  Late, again.  Good night.

Well?

.
.
Oh well.  I just haven't gotten to anything.  The furnace is keeping it warm.  Too warm.  Maybe.  Two meals though. One to go.  I am drowning in food, but if I skip blood sugar rises.  If I stay keto.  I have been testing once too often, so I have decided to cut pre-breakfast testing out.  Lunch was 189 just now was 127.  Another test before bed. I believe the arrangement was to cut insulin 2 cc's if blood sugar was below 150... or was it 180?  I think 150.  So, I cut insulin.  It will eventually see me off insulin, save that I use more if forced to eat higher carbs.  But I am at adjustment time and I seriously avoid carbs.

A shave, trash on out, and a meal shortly.  Chicken salad?  Maybe.  Or pork and... I don't know.  I'd best check the ducks.  The girls won't be fed for a few more hours.  A snack and litter clearing would be good.  I don't like feeding them human or cooked food, but chicken... either I share or they steal.  Or everything gets double bagged then still taken out quickly.  I prefer to share just a bit.  They really can't eat much.

Interesting what music, from way back, floats back after a musical gifting from my side.  I am sure it is from the long time viewers, or ai on youtube.  Still, I enjoy.  I might present some later.  What... fun.  Later.

More than blood sugar on my mind.

.
.
Hmm?

It works out as it will.

.
.
I stayed up later, then much later.  At 20:00 I checked blood sugar again. At 109 I was both comfortable that it wasn't continuing to drop and that the 98 read wasn't a fluke. I couldn't get to sleep until 23:00.  The shock, and fear response, of that steep of a drop sort of made me think.  I couldn't break the thought cycle.

Not waking until 9:00, therefore, wasn't a surprise.  Fasting blood sugar was 200, five points less than yesterday, twenty eight and twenty five less then the previous days respectively.  It drops from a few points to in the twenties per day save for that odd duck three point rise... gotta happen to prove the point.

I am not sure about today.  Though with trash collected, it will definitely go out.  I may see if anything else could be put out.  The rest of the old plans are still on the books.  We will see.

Wow.

.
.
It is about bedtime.  I am not feeling it but I will attempt it.  Only...

My final blood sugar read?  It was 98 a minute ago.  That is... very good.  Awesome.  And yet a bit frightening.  I am eating fairly well.  If supper was a bit light, the rest of my meals were solid.  And I ate a whole if small and raw potato (skinned).  I was wondering what that would do.  I guess I might have a clue.  I won't do that daily, something about frequency creating poison.  A few times a week, until I know for better or worse.

Crazy, but just at a week or two, with keto and insulin, I've dropped blood sugar from over a 450 high to a 98 low?  Crazy.  Nothing half so good as doing what they say you can't do.  Innit.  Good night.

No nap, no work.

.
.
The plan still holds, just not today.  Blood sugar disappointed.  It is still below 200 at 185 but it is 185.  I had hoped it would drop more.  I have one more reading, by instructions, in a few hours.  I just had a final meal but couldn't eat much of it.  I did eat a raw small potato with dinner.  I was curious.  If blood sugar doesn't rise, then keto is probably still good.  I think the other way around is less likely to be true, iirc.

So tired, and cool... almost cold.  I did put the meats up.  I need to do dishes before I can do real cooking, like making egg fried beef rice/cauliflower.  But I can slice hanks off, or grab a drumstick, heated or not.  Hopefully dishes tomorrow, I'd really like to try some things.

I should be to bed early tonight.  Then, hopefully, awake by 3:00.  I really like being up early.  I would like to shave tomorrow as well, then get a shower in first thing Monday.  I really like staying in better trim.  Brushing my teeth, taking medicine, all of it is really coming together.  It is amazing.  I am still usually nearly dead tired, but I can do some things, and more things daily and even several times a day.  I am almost beginning to just about have a regular schedule.  Now to add swimming x 2 and hiking weekly into that.  It will be terribly taxing at first, probably just one swim a week, at least to start.

Yeah, but life is changing.  I just wish I could escape being exhausted all of the time.

Later.  Probably.

That wasn't working.

.
.
Sitting around in warm weather pj's with the furnace nearly turned off with the windows open on a cool day?  Fantastic, for a down day.  I want to work today.  Bedding, laundry, dishes, and the bathroom.  Some of it, maybe all of it.  It was just too cold to really do anything.  So, I closed things up, changed into real clothes, and turned the furnace up to 70, then fed and watered critters.

That still wasn't getting things going.  A blood read was pleasing at 199, a six point drop, and below 200.  Anyway.  So I turned the furnace to 72, then started the grill.  It was right at 60 outside around 11:00, but has warmed between six to eight degrees by noon.  There is a mild but rather chilling breeze keeping it cooler than what the temperature suggests.

I am cooking enough for several days.  Chicken drumsticks, chuck steaks, and a rather small pork loin roast.  I purchased frozen cauliflower rice... that is way too expensive, but buying it that way was the only way I was ever going to try it.  Frozen and already ground, I can use it when it works for me.  IF it works, I will then put in the work to process, package, and freeze my own for a tenth the cost.  I am hoping to make chicken or beef cauliflower and egg stirfry, and other near rice dishes.
--------

I was doing this and that while writing, plus cooking.  Ended up finishing dinner.  The rest of the meats are cooling.  I had one of the chuck steaks, just right.  Oh, it was time so I checked blood sugar, it was down to 174.  Super.  Now to keep it down.  I had about three ounces of mixed pumpkin seed and hazel and macadamian nuts after my last read.  One more meal today, probably a fatted tea.  For a weight loss program, it is suggested I eat 2,200 to 2,600 (plus or minus 200 from the actual number), for solid weight loss, so... yeah.  And at that I put in an inch shorter and ten pounds heavier for the calculation.

It is staying right around 68.  Ugh.  I'm tired.  A nap?  Yes.  Or not.  If I don't nap I won't work.  If I do nap I won't sleep well.  No nap, I think.  Later.

Why?

.
.
Waking at 6:14, couldn't remember when I went to bed?  Why would that be my first thought?  Why would questioning my first thought be my second thought?  Some part of another region of my brain told these speaking parts of my brain to shut up, at least until after tea, and an half hour or hour.  'Yes, father', in unison.  Still, no clue when I went to bed.

Blood sugar is 205 fasting.  An excellent shift in the right direction.  Hopefully they will all be below 200 today.  I doubt it, especially after yesterday... that rattled my confidence.  I've never seen such an odd reversal while eating correctly.  I've seen blood sugar stick to fasting highs, or slightly higher, but not spike up.  I don't think I had eaten anything.

Well, some things.

.
.
A shower, no shave.  Dailies.  And grocery shopping.  Oh, dinner is on.  Steak, mushrooms, and I would like to test raw potato.  Mushrooms are going, the steak soon.

Blood sugar was weird today.  It started out at ~230, went to 280 then plunged to 145.  I am thinking the meter was wrong.  I didn't have any weird sensations.  Tired as usual.  I did eat, if keto.  I took insulin rightly.  Very odd, had me worried.  Three hours out, after shopping, and it is reading 128?  Nice.  Actually it stayed 233 first, again, spiked to 280, then came down to 245 before dropping to 145.  I was checking because it was being weird.  So, it really wasn't a fluke.

It will take some time for me to get used to stick.  I am improving.  I generally do well enough.  Generally.  It is fun to drive but I wouldn't want to hit anything bigger than an Iowa mosquito with it.  There is nothing to give, nowhere to go, and those airbags will probably kill you popping more than anything.  The illusion of safety.

Perhaps work tomorrow?  Actually more work.  I cleared part of the fridge, changed out one of the litter boxes, and got trash out.  I watered the ducks again, fed them too.  Hungry it seems.  I may still bag the trash bins and do some of the bathroom.  Or not.  It is running late.  I'll see what can be done after supper.  Ugh.  Probably not actually.

Later.  Or good night.

Very late down.

.
.
At nearly midnight, I was surprised to be up before 7:00.  Moving slow, but I have goals this morning.  A shower and eventually a shave, cleaning in the bathroom and front room, as well as dailies.  Oh, and trash collected and out.  I'll give it a shot in a bit.  The shower first, then on to dailies.  Though food would be good to start.

Fasting blood sugar was 233.  Yeah, but I messed up several days ago and am still paying.  The readings are generally below 200, save for fasting.  Keto will kick back in shortly.  I have to figure out how to take tea on trips.  Glass half gallon jars... I love them, but they are fragile and prone to spill or leak when they tip, when they don't break.  Stainless, if they only go up to quarts.  I suppose several would work.

I'd like to go shopping soon.  Lettuce, meats, cabbage, kale, celery... the usual, plus a few extras... all out of stone ground mustard for example.  I am always tempted by donuts.  I just remember what that stuff does to my blood sugar and how long it takes to go back down to a good number.  I may try 90% dark chocolate, and 86%... see what I can handle... if any of it.  I'll look at carbs/sugars first.  If too, the whole bar isn't to be eaten, just a square or two a few times a week.  With coffee and cream.  Which reminds me, I need coffee.

Well, I best set tea, get a shower, and finish my morning dailies.  I really hope to dig in hard and fast.  Later.

Nothing.

.
.
Lazy.  I wish.  I don't yet qualify for that luxury.  Ducks, cats, some food, and rest.  Much needed rest.  I have thought about things.  I have looked around while doing my dailies.  Nothing.  Bedtime approaches.  I find myself struggling against bedtime because I hope to do something.  Not logical.  Not possible.  And yet...  I have done a bit much, especially in the cold and dreary.

My last blood sugar dropped to 150, almost as good as my two week best, my second best?  My seven day average has dropped to just below 200... 193 to be exact.  I only have between three and four days readings though.  My other reader failed pretty much when I got the new one.

I restarted aspirin a few days ago.  Bloody noses have started back up.  Not standard, but nearly unstoppable bloody noses.  This won't stop until possibly morning.  I'll cut those for a while again.  Some medicine can only be occasional, or varying as with furosimide, the water pill.  I might try going down to one of those too, already down one.  It's another pill that, while necessary, often at the higher doses, is hard on my system in various ways.  I do my best when they listen, provide the options.

A few vids... just because?  Doubtful.  You may call it is you will.  Good night.

Keto curiosity.

.
.
I think my mother may be becoming curious about my food choices.  A recipe book would help her a lot at the start.  But once she sees what and how, she would be vastly superior at keto than I.  Her cooking and baking skills are superior, her instincts are top-notch, she just knows how to swing flavors, protein, fats, and carbs.  Her only problem, and we have all been there, is her wrongly embedded fear of fats.  She should know better, having been a farm girl where they ate everything we are now told we weren't supposed to eat, and how old all of her siblings have lived.

Not a gripe.  They did a hell of a job browbeating especially women into using sugar, crisco, margarine, and even carbs and starches.  They inverted the real food chart, for the economy, not biological needs, and for the wealthy against everyone else.  Actually it even favored the medical field incorrectly.  At least doctors aren't pushing brands of cigarettes, if opioids they are pushing are worse.  Hmm?  Never mind.

A tough start.

.
.
Down at 20:00, but after four hours of driving and an hour or more in offices plus having my eyes dilated.  It was in and out or busy at least, mostly, but I was seen at two shops... still, quickly... painlessly.  If it was more regular it would probably be easier?  No.  Currently the trip wipes me.  The only improvement so far is that I can make a goodly number of appointments in a short order.  I am not sure another would be possible shortly, or several, but maybe.  I can only know through failure.

The cool, dark, and wet aren't helping.  While at first blush it looks to have a clear sky today, it is well below freezing, 20° F or so.  So how much it warms is another question.  When airflows, the barometer, and such push things, even the sun has limited input.  Still, I realize, here as anywhere, learn the graces of what you are given weatherwise.  Barring that, relax until you can.  Sleep it off if you must.  Bear it?  *grins... growls*

It wasn't until probably the last possible snooze that I woke.  I cleaned the 3:00 snooze cycle with nary a dozen neutrons seeming to fire.  Just the few necessary to direct a hand to the bar.  If I could have fired a few more up I would have turned the 3:00 alarm off.  I knew I wasn't going to wake.  Actually I think I thought about doing so every time.  Not enough firings to do more than consider the proposition.  Awake at 5:40.

Fasting blood sugar was 246.  Oh well.  It will go down, on it's schedule.  Eggs and bacon?  Nah, chia today.  I need to pull out bone broth to thaw.  I am not sure about a full fast, too cool and I am too tired for that.  However, going to fatted fluids might work.  I get solid calories, if almost all fat.  But that pushes me to fat burning (which I may have (did) bungle yesterday... hey, eating on the road is difficult).  It's a variation on fasting that I have yet to try.  But it is a thing.  A handful of macadamia and hazel nuts, and a few others, would also be allowed.

Later.

A few goods.

.
.
My blood sugar was 148.  Improving.  A read, a fatted tea, and my last shot in an hour.  It is too late to stay up for two hours after my last meal.  Not if I want to be awake by 3:00, and I do.  Travel shakes things up.  I'll get back to doing readings rightly tomorrow, and meals.

I spoke about hiking.  It might happen.  I ordered various more keto foods.  Not perfect, but it should do.  Insulin can cover some when keto fails, and the reverse.  Either way I will go.  As well, I am hoping to swim once next week.  I have had nine appointments and various other demands in the last few weeks.  And I am just coming back to life after winter and such a dark spring.

I do need to get boots polished, gear sorted, and... that should be good.  I am looking forward to getting out.  And swimming will be much easier at 28 instead of 18 mpg... if I believe I can improve the mileage with a little practice.  I am getting excited.  If I can hike more often and distant, I would like to go on overnighters, and more.  Then to winter expeditions.  It'll be on slim coin, if there is a solid good to that.

Later.

Optometry.

.
.
It was a tough morning.  Cold and dark.  Couldn't have driven the Cruze, it was frozen over and I was running late.  I couldn't back it into the drive.  I was able to limp out to the frontage, the wipers and spray opened up the windshield just enough.  I didn't feel quite ready anyway, for stick, especially with freezing rain mixed with snow and regular rain, plus an overpass to negotiate.

Good thing I didn't wait.  There was a massive backup.  A bad accident, two vehicles that I saw, one lane closed, and rubbernecking.  Such an irritating trait.  No, I don't gawk.  None of my affair.  Traffic was 0 to 3 mph for ten miles?  Plus or minus a few.  I just made it a few minutes early.

The eyes are doing better.  Odd.  The heart hasn't improved (since then) but diabetes has gotten worse.  If improving greatly this last week.  It looks like my vision improved a bit as well.  Strange, in one sense, but actually usual for me.  The worsening shown in the last exam was the outlier proving the point.  When diabetes, the heart, and blood pressure are all back tacked down, I will begin consciously working on my vision.  Yeah, I'll get it fixed.  As I have suggested, I don't need you belief.

On the way back, I looked for the trailhead up a particular mountain I have been meaning to scale.  I ended up following a woman.  She turned off, to a closed gate.  I, with some caution, drove just close enough we could sort of talk.  Made sure not to appear to block her in.  People hereabouts may well go loaded.  She wasn't disturbed in the least.  Directions with a country smile.

I finally found the place.  I am going to see about inviting a youngling to go with.  Maybe next week.  I want to get a small batch of gear, mostly for a meal or two out, hiking poles, rain gear just in case, water as there aren't any springs or brooks, and write-in-rain paper and pen to track any trail splits.  Might not reach the top, but who knows.  It IS the plan.  Solo if I must.

Yeah, well... blood sugar and another meal in an hour.  Oh, fasting blood sugar for some stupid reason was 240.  It beats 450 but it isn't sub-100 either.  Will. Get. There.  One more thing?  I believe that is the fifth medical appointment I have hit consecutively, and the eighth or ninth general appointment consecutively hit.  Very nice, if I had to hurt... even pull all nighters to achieve.  Don't say I haven't gone the extra mile.  Later.

Bedtime.

.
.
No work.  Simply couldn't.  I did grill a roast for supper.  It took me a little later than hoped.  Should be to bed shortly.  We had just a bit of rain then snow, and just a very short bit of sunshine sneak through an otherwise still cloudy sky.  And it dropped to a bit below freezing, at least for a bit.  It was a pretty day, a marvel.

Blood sugar went to up 180 then down to 168 before this last meal.  It is too close to bedtime for a last read... I recently finished the last meal.  Pleased with the readings.  All save fasting were sub-200, and that was a very low 222.  Breaking below 200 fasting, then eating to maintain that is the next trick.  Then to have the high be sub-100 and the low be above 80 for a year.  A 230 point drop in a week?  Keto and insulin, used with the intent to clear diabetes, is rather potent.

Bedtime.  Good night.

Really cool.

.
.
By 10:00 it was only to 42° F outside.  I pulled seed pods from rhubarb and looked around the garden.  Asparagus should be super next year.  Rhubarb was exploding, now it's... more exploded?  Both bushes are huge, and tasty.  I had part of a stock... stack? no... stalk?  Gah.  Sun chokes, aka jerusalem artichokes, didn't seem to be doing anything.  A stalk? pulled showed things are growing under there, they just aren't ready to grow out.

Breakfast for all.  Eggs, fatted tea, and bacon today, chia et. al. tomorrow.  My blood sugar was down to 153.  The meal is extended, I ate slowly and only now started my fatted tea.  I'll check again around 14:00.  No work yet.  I finally gave up and turned the furnace up to 72.  It's just too chilly.  I am hoping for just two things.  Changing sheets plus washing that, as well as cleaning the bathroom to a shine.  Perhaps taking a shower and shaving.  If I can break through eye-crossing exhaustion.  If not, tomorrow.

The sun went behind clouds, the temperature wasn't going up anyway, certainly not fast.  Now it may stay or drop.  With the furnace up, it is the dark that is getting to me.  Ugh.  So tired.  A nap?  Maybe.  Blood sugar is improving nicely.  If I could wake up!  Before it gets too hot to enjoy out there.  I keep looking over articles and videos about camping tips, hiking advice, techniques for lighting fires, cooking, layering, and all.  Perhaps, if nothing else, a backyard setup?  Maybe.

Later.

Just on the edges.

.
.
I didn't get to bed until 20:00.  Why?  Because.  It's the only answer I can offer.  I wrestled with the 3:00 alarm to failure so was waiting on the 5:00 alarm.  I woke, and decided to wake whatever else.  A good thing.  The 5:00 alarm had been bumped off (?).  It was 4:57, so...  Odd, but it worked out.

I hoped fasting blood sugar would be below 200.  Nope, 222.  It is dropping, a bit daily, fasting and not.  Currently I am having to use the V.A. blood meter and test strips.  My usual materials have failed.  I am not sure if the test strips are too old or if the reader has failed.  Not this month, but next, I will try another batch of strips.  I have a horrible time with V.A. testing devices/strips.  I had great luck with these others until now.

I hope that is a fluke.  I want a good source in case the V.A. stuff continually fails as it usually does.  Not sure why it has failed so consistently... don't care.  If I have a source that works that is enough... so this concerns me.  It's bad enough that pharma robs us of our health by trying to force medication that keeps us sick, but then to rip us off with simple testing supplies too!  And they wonder why they are hated.

Today?  Back to the list.  I am holding off renting the dumpster, but trash, dishes, bedding change, and more laundry is scheduled today.  Along with standard chores.  The sun, if I am seeing rightly, looks to be out.  I think it was out yesterday to.  When I go out to feed the ducks, on sunny days, I look around my garden.  It's a small pleasure.  Lots of asparagus up.  Rhubarb and horseradish are doing well.  Grass has filled quite well where planted, if there are a few sparse patches.  When watering starts, I will seed those few small areas... rain doesn't get to those spots as well.

It's a start.  After the alarm and critters are fed etc, I'll do bacon and eggs.  Then..?  Bathroom first, so a shower and shave in a cleaner area sooner or much sooner, then changing sheets.  A start on laundry right then.  A break then whatever comes next.  I think the week is really starting.  A quick check, the thermometer, the warm one, reads at below freezing?  Weird.

Good morning and day.

Most... some... of it.

.
.
No shave, haven't cleaned the bathroom, and didn't set up a dumpster.  The latter because I need to see where my finances settle.  Driving was looking pretty good, even on a very steep dirt road.  Still, more practice would be good.  I actually might know where a paved non-highway road is.  The only bad part is that a four cylinder, from a dead start on a steep hill, really has no go.  There just isn't any mojo, none.  All good.  People will simply have to be patient or wreck.

Blood sugar dropped to 172.  But I had a bit of a treat, beans and grilled hotdogs.  Blood sugar went up to 229.  Still, not bad.  I'd like to drive on the paved steep road.  See if there is a way to get up to speed better.  As well as general practice climbing.  Going downhill isn't a problem.  Braking on short hills, downshifting for extended runs.  I am a bit of a control freak with regards to driving, I don't like being out of gear, as little as possible.

No appointment tomorrow, so if need be I can skip shaving until later.  Today was a good day but I am tiring.  It has been almost twelve hours up.  I should be nearing  bedtime.  Four hours more?  Max, really.  Then waking at 3:00 to 5:00 is usually easy enough.

Yeah, a bit of hill driving, then city driving, feeding, maybe watering, critters... plus litter.  It will be the third time for litter, but it helps keep the place better smelling.  Oh, I took a closer review of the automatic cat litter box.  Way to many problems.  However I may have found a better solution.  A very large bin with a lid and three lasagna pans... cut out higher entryways, keep the lid on, and easy.  Perhaps a spare pan or two, so cleaning is easier.  The plastic pans don't come clean.  It will be a lot cheaper, and won't send plastic litter into my septic tank.  Plus, litter won't end up everywhere.

I best get going.  Later, or just as likely good night.
-------

Blood sugar readings are doing better.  The second to the last was 188, the last was 190.  Three of them have been sub-200.  It's only been less than a full week?  Yeah, I will square this circle quickly.  No sluffing on eating, insulin until I don't need it, or keto.  As little as three months if I can implement intermittent and extended fasting, at worst a year if food temptations are too strong or I go through too many illnesses which don't allow proper feeding.  I will not become diabetic again if I do beat this... I am pretty sure I will win.  Keto, more or less, is a rest of the life thing for me.  One I don't mind.

Nothing else done today.  I will check the duck stuff, give the girls more food and clean their litter, turn laundry over, then brush, take medicine, and go on to bed.  It was 37° F out there this morning.  Yeah, that really doesn't help.  Even showered and well dressed, it just... it's too chilly.  I'll write the temperature when I get back in.  -  It was between 48° and 52°.  Yeah, still a bit cool.

Good night.

You can't be all things!?!

.
.
I hear this through the ether.  Sheep, goat, wolf, lion, of the two legged varieties, all claim one can only be the one thing one is.  If perhaps as one may be called to, or fall from, graces, one way or another, one might go through a middle area.  How quickly they forget the call to have a voice for all ears.

At it early.

.
.
I couldn't remember when I went to bed.  However I knew I took a final blood sugar reading within about ten minutes of bedtime.  I believe...  A quick check showed about a 17:30 bedtime.  I woke a few minutes after 2:40.  A bit long of a sleep, but not all as it would seem.  I woke a bit after 1:00, and could have gotten up.  I didn't want that much day to begin that early.  I would have slept even more at 2:40.  But it was close enough to 3:00, and trying to sleep such a little bit could have lead to oversleeping.  I also didn't want to turn off the 3:00 alarm so as to wake at 5:00.  Blah.  So, only one real choice.

I need to get the trash out.  Then a shower and shave.  I didn't get much done yesterday.  Still, meds and reset, critters and myself fed etc, a few other odds and ends.  It's just so dark.  The house finally dropped to 66.  The furnace is running to maintain.  It took almost two days to cool off.  Unless a freeze happens I am planning to keep it cooler, at 66.  Showers and the right cloths to stay warm.

I think I am doing better, certainly feeling much better.  Hoping to do things today.  Bedtime blood sugar was 202 last night, fasting is 233 first thing.  The body has no pain, no headache, I am not even feeling tired.  Exhausted down in?  Maybe.  But that usually allows me to dig deep before I hit resistance.  Usually is the key.

A shave, then feed, water, and clear litter for the girls.  Maybe start a load of laundry then a break until the load is finished.  Then a shower.  To the post early, then driving practice.  Cleaning the bathroom after.  A later second driving lesson, then maybe a trip to the sanitation office to arrange for a dumpster at the middle of the month.  The goal is to fill that before the end of the month, then if needed, one time next month.  That should be enough.  I'm not sure how truly full I can get the thing, and some large part will be bulk rather than mass.

If I can do these, and get sheets and other laundry done today, I'll hope to start on dishes, more driving, and the kitchen tomorrow.  I am attempting to get back to work... four to five days a week, three to five hours a day.  Not including food, grooming, or critter care, if the grill simplifies cooking for myself.  Yeah, finally, maybe, back to it.  Later.

Never did make it back to bed.

.
.
I simply lost my appetite for sleep.  Which is fine.  I received plenty of sleep yesterday and may nap in a bit.  Still dark and cool, outside.  The house hasn't dropped below 70°, if my bedroom should be cooler.  It feels much cooler than 70°, odd how that can work out.

I think one of my last blood sugar reads was bogus.  It went from 214 to 321 to 233.  I had just eaten, but eggs and bacon and just.  Blood sugar a) shouldn't have spiked quite yet b) shouldn't have spiked nearly that much.  Annoying, but I'm calling that a bad read.  I am regularly hitting the low 200s.  I should begin cracking below 200 very soon, very regularly.  Yes, bacon and eggs is extremely keto friendly, especially in reasonable moderation.

I need to feed the ducks and girls, water as needed, then clear litter.  Perhaps a nap after.  Trash out tonight.  Cleaning the bathroom.  And a shower and shave, possibly some laundry.  Yeah.  Anything else?  Maybe.  I have a few niche small projects I'd like to do... polishing and waterproofing several pair of hiking boots, filling at least one month medicine dispenser, perhaps getting my packs reset... mix and match as possible, as things, time, and energy fit.  Yeah.

Oh, someone looked up a post I was seeking.  It dealt with when I dropped my tea bottle.  It doesn't say who was doing my pedicure, but it does give the date.  I have more work to find the strangely elusive truth, but I have part of the solution.  Odd, this and the first five second sudoku, both from private conversations... the posts were found, and presented.  I may have posted, maybe, about one, but not both?  I don't think I posted about either, though maybe.

Ducks and my ladies have been arranged.  If I can, a nap in a bit.  Later.

Double the trouble.

.
.
Beside the cold, dark, and damp, I was lagging on medicine.  I outright missed an evening dose yesterday and was well on the way to missing all of today.  I woke with an exceptional headache.  It was 22:00, so there might be time to get two doses in and be back to bed in time to be up rightly for morning medicine.

I shouldn't need much sleep later, as I have had a nap and nearly a full sleep as well.  If I can shake the headache and fever-like symptom... and various pains, I should be good.  I had the furnace at 72 with the bedroom door open.  Yeah, that will get to me.  I still needed warmth when I went to bed.  It got too hot.  On the good side, my body has started responding well to cool or heat, and more quickly.

Fasting blood sugar was 224.  It is slowly dropping.  I will probably skip eating tonight.  If I must, perhaps a fatted tea.  Probably just tea.  I turned the furnace to 66° F.  It is taking longer and longer to cool the cave.  I am hoping by the time it is down, it will be time for meds and sleep.

It wasn't just a headache I woke sensing.  Innards hurt, skin was sore from overheating, pretty much everything hurt.  No problem, aspirin.  I have been hitting that a lot lately.  Such is spring.  It is the most complicated season for me.  And yet, I wouldn't change it for the world.  I need four real independent seasons to feel right in, with, the world.
---------

Forgot to post.  Actually got busy, chasing a notion that has been forming through youtube.  I just, the science... and art... aren't settled.  Or really not settled enough for presentation.  The truth is science and art, in this paradigm... paradoxical paradigm as it now stands, is not only not settled, it can't be settled.  There is no means of doing so.  One of my first tests, to see who I am dealing with, is to see if an understanding of what the consensus is and whether that is considered true or not.  Most are herd animals, goats or sheep.

Round earth.  Cool.  Prove it without pictures from satellites or astronauts.  Use simple tools you understand to prove what you suggest.  If you can't do that, then you actually don't know.  You are merely parroting what you have been told.  Even if the world was mostly, or partially round(ed), unless you have basically seen that there are no gaps in the crust, you simply don't know.  All I require is that if you can't prove something of science with science, that you not believe it in an absolute way.

Hmm?  Oh, well, I...  I got lost in the rabbit hole.  I'll keep pondering the notion... notions.  Blood sugar is 256 after three hours up and no food.  Meat is being thawed.  The cats were fed.  I'll check their water and litter before bedtime.  It isn't cooling at all in here.  It is in the low 50s outside, but staying 72 in here... with the furnace set to 66.  Gah!  I shut the bedroom door, with the fan going.  Hopefully in another hour I can take meds and hopefully a nap.

Two hours?  Good night, again, either way.

A nap.

.
.
No real choice.  It is time to eat, but sleep is required first.  Blood sugar is 244.  It popped up again.  Worse, the nap will probably increase it more.  At this general blood sugar level, sleep almost always increases blood sugar.  When fasting blood sugar (after a full night sleep) is below ~150 , then naps and missing a meal won't jack blood sugar.  We'll see, sometimes it works out.  I sure wish I could push through.

It is dark and cool out there.  I decided against turning the heat up though.  At 72 it somehow seems too hot.  I may turn it down while I sleep.  Cats and ducks are fed etc. No work yet.  I'll do what I can.  Sleep may help.  So very tired.  Later.
---------

 A bit of a trick and a shorter nap?  Blood sugar was 200 before dinner... supper?  Not bad.  If I have anything else, it will be bone broth and cream, spiced and salted to taste.  I am hoping to break 200 again.  Who ever knows.  Still tired.  I might crash again, though who knows for how long.  It might be another ten hour drop.  So dark, cold, tired.  All good.  I have learned the hard way that if I need sleep, take it.

Yeah, well... later or good night.

It is finally working.

.
.
Insulin.  Well insulin and keto.  Still fasted, before my first meal, and blood sugar dropped forty eight points to 213.  A fatted tea and chia cereal is for breakfast.  Pork leftovers for lunch, perhaps a fatted bone broth and mixed nuts for supper.  I should thaw a roast and chicken or... something else.  Not sure what is in there.  Burger?

Still tired, rough.  I have done a lot of traveling and business.  The stress of buying a car, dealing with ssa, haggling with medical, changing meds... fair enough.  All of that in one week?  Yes.  Pleased as punch.  Tired too.  I am hoping, as blood sugar drops, if the rest can stay level and good, I can dig in.  Or start digging out.

It is chilly today.  In the low 40s at about 8:00.  Fine.  The sun is out, it could warm.  If not... actually either way... I need warmth so I'll turn the furnace up.  That, medicine, breakfast, and aspirin should get me going.  Yeah.  We'll see.  Cereal is about ready.  Later.

Not much.

.
.
I just can't quite hop to things.  I did call both my brother and mother.  I was a bit surprised with my brother.  He was in good spirits.  For my part I avoided... debate.  We don't argue well.  A bit of information back and forth, old and new things and updates, and just letting him vent.  I am proud of him.  Given all, he does well.  My mother is doing well, just busy.

Eating was improved today.  As was blood sugar.  I broke 200, at 188.  My lowest draw since starting the 19th, I believe.  I was honestly starting to worry.  I really have to eat three keto meals a day, or intermittent fast, or fast longer... if take some risks with the latter options.  It is a start.

I am going on to bed.  The alarms are set for 3:30 and 5:00.  I am hoping to grab that schedule if possible.  Good night.

Too chilly.

.
.
I finally caved, shut everything up, and turned the heat back up.  Fresh air was worth the chill, but out of doors had fallen to the low 40s.  Too chill.

Ducks were fed and watered.  I need hay for them.  I had someone suggesting they could do that.  I will have to check on that.  They desperately need fresh hay.

I am hoping to call my brother yet today.  Perhaps my mother, and the potential source of hay.  As well, a drive or two... short drives.  A shower and shave, sooner or later also.  Doing what I can as I may.  No rush, if getting these things done today is preferred.

Perhaps a few other chores?  Maybe.  I am very tired, sore.  But the sun is out.  It is up to 52° F.  It might turn out to be a very good day.  If nothing else, a bit of time, if only in the shade or I will burn, sitting out there... perhaps letting the ducks out while I am out too.  Yes, if it warms and at least doesn't rain.

Blood sugar was 324 fasting, 279 just now (still fasting).  I actually need to either eat more and more regularly or fast whole.  Oddly, anything else makes it worse... save a choice forbidden.  The current readings are in the worse category.  Of course, if I can't eat, I may have to... improvise.  They so hate when I do that.  Sometimes there simply isn't a choice.  I missed medicine yesterday, morning and night.  The first miss in months.  Back on track.

Well, on to... waiting.  Chia and flax, maybe bacon and eggs later.  Good morning.

A few days down.

.
.
I had to be out yesterday.  Now a very short few days off before I have to go out again.  After that?  I... months probably?  Even so, I am hoping to get out driving, on hills, in the hopes of being ready this or next time to take the micro to SLC for my next or following medical appointment.

As well, I am hoping to visit a few parks.  I'll take the Xterra to see the golden railroad spike, and something beyond.  But a cruise through further various state and national parks, maybe with the inflatable canoe and camping gear...  Yes, through the summer, a few or more trips.  Plus a few local events and maybe fishing trips.

Oh, right.  What.  Oh, a few days off.  Hopefully to drive a few times a day.  There is a gravel hill close by, probably a paved one, that isn't a highway.  I know of a highway hill that usually isn't to busy.  There are some steep hills leading to the V.A., very steep, with serious curves.  I would love to be ready, but the timing may be too short.

Even with me at the wheel, and mostly city driving, I have been getting 28 mpg.  Practice won't be too expensive.  I am improving, it will take time.  You have to work with the engine, a four banger.  It requires fast upshifting being a six speed, at first, then from fourth on it takes a goodly while to get to the last two... sort of, usually.  It's no sports car, but it is fun.

To bed sometime in the mid afternoon.  Awake at 1:30.  I wasn't sure if the cats were warring or if thunder was drawing near.  Yes, cats can thunder through a cave something awful.  I actually think it was a bit of both.  The baby girl, at eleven ore more, can really tromp around, and she yeowls as if a dog was around and scatters at the sounds of a storm.

Fed, litter handled, should be good.  Electricity flickered out twice.  Rain crashed heavy, hard, if briefly.  Thunder came, sat a bit overhead, then travelled on.  I enjoyed the brief weather show.  Now to reset clocks.  Sassy is still probably hiding in my bedroom.  I'll get the ducks at sunup or close.

While extremely exhausted from all the trips and negotiating, I am recovering more quickly than anticipated.  I hope to get out, for several things.  But no swimming or hiking quite yet.  I'll need several weeks of rest to get going on those things.  But I can make sure gear is ready.

Good morning.  Later.

Awake again.

.
.
Feeling a bit better.  Heartburn or acid stomach is gone.  All other aches and pains remain, if muted a goodly bit.  Not so exhausted, slightly frayed if as it should be within recent givens.  Sleep was quite good.  I am on the mend.  A small business action soon, a medical appointment before long, and I'd like to get out driving as soon as possible.  Hills, starts on those, until I can do them in my sleep.  As well, studying the manual, for slip shift down shifting more accurately.

Blood sugar is staying elevated, if lower than before.  It is between 200 and 300, where it had been between 350 and nearly 500.  Irregular sleep means meals have also been off.  I do what I can, but have to do what I must.  I have to accept I am doing what is possible.  As well, it is an improvement.  All meds are going in, as well, brushing and shaving are back in trim.  I wasn't failing to brush completely, just missing one time a day, varying.  And travelling, I couldn't brush after meals.  Ugh.

A dream.  Of significance I do believe.

In the dream I was questioned regarding tattoos or other intentional marks.  I claimed no such blemishes, labelling all marks as unintentional scars, save one.  Forced to strip for an inspection, what looked like a black light bar was brought out.  It exposed far more... the marks on my soul, or spirit if not (yet?) human.  Warrior, sins, virtues, natures... it was all scarified or tattooed onto my eternal being.  Beautiful... and horrifying.  I have never been so humbly naked.  All I saw where true, to the best of my knowledge.

I wasn't being judged.  Warned?  Informed?  To know is to be given an opportunity to correct, to find reconciliation, to change.  Knowledge is power, some power, some absolute power, does not lead to corruption.  This was one of those knowledge to power transitions which didn't lead astray.  Perhaps the only one?  I suppose any power coinciding with humility is less likely to betray the recipient?  Amen?

I left the windows open.  While making it a bit chill, the fresh air is fantastic.  If I could find a place that stayed dry, and between -40 (negative forty Fahrenheit) and 80 max, in a mountainous terrain, that I could afford... not fallen to leftism like Colorado or N. Mexico I'd sure ponder.  Though, getting central air, with a built in humidifier, would work here.  If ss comes back, I'll begin getting quotes.  I need a new furnace anyway, as well.  That, a 200 amp box, and a garage wiring system.  Over time.

On to waking.  Later.

Another day out.

.
.
Finishing some business.  Had to be out early.  Stayed up overnight again to make it work.  Sometimes, when I can make it work, it's the only way.  It worked, again.  But it's the fourth time in a week.  I have something else soon but not too soon.  Then I can rest for a bit.  I need it.

I tried to explain that, normally, and at best, I have only been getting out three times a month, for shopping.  And those weren't scheduled, I could do them when I am rested and in all other ways ready.  Being out four times... five... in the last week has been exhausting.  That I did it is proof I am doing better.  That it is figuratively killing me is proof I am still not well.  Everything hurts.

I had a breakfast out.  I needed food, wasn't up to doing that.  To add to the rest, I now have a rough heartburn or acid feeling stomach.  I chose what would mostly fit keto.  It must be the fats they use?  Gotta not do that.  Even fast food doesn't do that.  Oh well. I will have a vinegar ketonic soon, that usually works.

I returned home about... actually I have no clue.  I didn't have to cool down or such.  I crashed easily, immediately.  I may do so again shortly.  I have pushed in ways I didn't think possible.  I have made every appointment.  I... will rest, sleep, as possible until I am back in shape.  Wow.  Toast.  But... it could be worse.  And I have hit it all.  For most of you, it might be shameful to be this tired for that little.  It's just at half the days out, and half days even then.  But you aren't nearly crawling out of the grave to get there.

Yeah.  More sleep.  I hurt everywhere, and yet feel hollow, empty, stretched, and numb too.  Wonderful, actually.  If I could push through to this more often, I would.  I do believe pain... is what has kept me alive.  And if there is hope for more in life, it will only be through truly excruciating, devastating, nauseating levels of pain that I will find it... over the levels I encounter in present standard life.

Good night, later, something.

Calls.

.
.
Social Security sent paperwork saying I was ineligible.  A call, and not too much of a wait.  Told I was definitely ineligible.  I told him I have been receiving for the last thirty years, both disability incomes.  Oh, he suggested, so you didn't inform SSA?  Of course I did.  Actually thought I'd lose the ss disability.  On and on.

Finally he looked it up.  Not ssi, but ssd... based on my earnings, not a charity income... or some such.  So, for what I have been receiving my other income has no bearing.  So why send this other?  Formality, sir.  Bullshit, they were just screwing with me.  He knows it, I know it.

Before that, a call about the paperwork.  I gave them razzes about sending paperwork with such a short expiry.  She said she was happy to extend the deadline.  Again, they are just screwing with me.  I made sure she noted that both were being sent today.  I asked about the other issue.  Not her area.  Nor a number given.  I figured it out, after trying several numbers throughout the several letters (in the same packet).

I'm not grumpy as a rule.  What did Gandalf say to Frodo about testing him?  Right.

Right.

A start.

.
.
Meds, brushing, aspirin, first thing.  Then time reviewing the world through the lenses of various minds and sources.  Just now fresh tea set to brew, duck feeding and watering, cats as well, and their litter.  The body still hurts.  Muscles as if slightly torn and pretty much everywhere, lungs have a slight burn as if pushed a little too long, some joints ache, a slight headache... that after the effects of aspirin, a good lot of it.

No problems.  It is what is expected, minimally, after pushing as hard as I have been.  This is good, actually.  I don't know if I can do much today.  I am not sure I should.  Pushing at this stage might be good, or might cause a major stall.  I had thought, with the heart improved, I could push.  I can, and further than ever since first ill, but the backlash can still cripple.  In some ways much more severely.

It is sunny, but not all that warm.  In time that will improve.  I won't open up the house until things prove out to be warmer this afternoon.  I am trying to get places, do things.  I am just not quite there yet.  I'll keep trying.  The weather will help, until it hurts.  Later.

What a strange twist.

.
.
I finally went to bed at 21:00, give or take a quarter.  I was in exhaustion agony for hours leading up to bedtime.  I simply could not sleep.  When I could go in, I couldn't fall quickly to sleep.  When sleep happened, it was exceptionally good.  I woke at ~1:30 but knew not to get up.  Sleep returned very quickly.  I woke again, thinking it would still be close to 1:30, but it was 5:30.  Fasting blood sugar is 267.  I am suspecting I will break below 200 today or tomorrow.  It goes multiples faster with keto and insulin.  If I can fast this or next weekend, it will be done very fast.  Every other weekend.  Oh, and when I can add intermittent fasting?  Yeah.

Time to rise.  It is a goal, on the later end.  Perhaps a beginning to a return to that pattern?  It might just be a fluke, with scheduling up in the air.  I see it as an opportunity.  If I can sleep a bit earlier, perhaps I can wake a bit earlier, then grab that schedule.

Other than an hour and half nap, I was awake for 28 or 29 hours yesterday.  No wonder the pain.  I just didn't have a choice.  I couldn't sleep leading into the appointments, then couldn't sleep until I did.  I was caught in an impossible cycle.  Still, it might work out.  One more appointment this week, a call or two, then I can take a breather.

I did take care of the critters.  But brushing and shaving have been falling into neglect.  There isn't an easy way to do it all, or even a difficult path.  Out of functional energy is just that.  I did air the place out, since I couldn't sleep.  Quite nice.  I hope to do it more, through the week, as possible.  It has to be warm enough.

While I do need rest, I also need to do dishes, and general cleaning.  I'll never get caught up, but if...  some of it, or some areas...  I should see if there is anything to thaw.  I am rather broke the rest of the month.  Ugh.  Later.

Done.

.
.
To bed when possible.  Paperwork.  Social Security is trying to deny me because of V.A. disability.  Two different forms to fill out.  Done.

I just saw what happened over there.  I had wondered what this was about.  It isn't a god, certainly not God, just a horseman.  Though I don't see their fingerprints.  I see only those who will act as the pawns, for their darker requirements, have acted.  I realize now that I spotted an anomaly.  Too vague, but I believe I saw yesterday in advance... and the culprit.  Well... won't ever actually have that exposed, but...

I need sleep.  Took a nap, no choice.  Waking from it sort of broke something.  I have to come down before I sleep.  Ugh.  I hurt to sleep but can't, like salivating over a steak with a broken jaw.  It pains me psychologically, yet mechanically as well.  Soon.  One more appointment this week, then I can rest.  So very tired.

Good night.  Yes, girls and ducks have been fed, meds remembered?  I'll check.  Brushing has been slipping, I'll... try...

I was away when posting.

.
.
I created the last post, then put it on scheduled automatic posting.  I actually had to make a trip to SLC, to the V.A.  I told my doc I would... do some extra hoop jumping... to get what I need.  I got what I need.  So hoop time.  It's killing me.  I am still tired from last week.  Absolutely exhausted.  And I keep pulling close to 24 hour days, either because I can't sleep, or like today because of appointments.

It was diabetes education and extra tracking.  The cool thing is, this fellow is a keto type.  I... had prepared for a war of wits on the matter.  No need.  Numbers were looking good.  Down to 233 last I checked.  Won't check again until tomorrow.  Will see him again, next time I see my doc.

As good and timely a drive as I could have hoped.  Enough sun for good cheer, not enough to fry.  Quite a nice day, even with mild sprinkles.  Any trip is easier with a nice mix of mild weather and easy traffic.  I didn't get panicked, or feel pushed, pinched, or crowded driving.

So tired.  I have something this afternoon.  May nap a bit.  Ugh.  Later.

Do they ever sleep?

.
.
Such... things.  Must be from at least two sources.  One found a post about my first five second sudoku.  I... am pretty sure which one that is.  Don't women sleep?

Otherwise, this time, without comment.

Accusations.

.
.
If the songs pop, they fit, and I realize?  I have to play them.  Actually they have nothing, for my part, to do with me.  Might even have been true, to some degree, but long ago.  If it was still true she would already have gotten her fifteen minute to three hour shake, and a baby if a certain one.  It's how and all I used to do... after my first real went away.  Now, which of two possible women is feeling dry, sore, and let go, I can't be sure.  One still, always had, a chance.

Sometimes songs are just algorithmic reverberations.

.
.
Sometimes they are more.  Much more.  They arrive dappled in soul blood.

I can sense the difference.  Or so I say.

Wounded.  Initially.  She was.  I could tell.  Struggling with... things... since then.  Girls are such... girls.  Yeah.  I have watched songs pop in accordance to various things I have written.  As a pianist might hear an accompanying fiddle, cello, or choral backing... real or imagined but reasonably so.  I didn't write to receive, it merely happens... sometimes.

Didn't I just title one "Ouch"?

.
.
I second that.  In a better way, perhaps.  This is from the constant, for me, and intense negotiations, recently.  Brutal.  Successful, tiring.  It definitely beats unsuccessful and tiring.  Everything is just on the left side of good.  Just a bit off.  It might improve without assistance, if it seems to be improving slowly.  Aspirin, for when respite is desperately needed and earned.

Blood sugar was strangely high, at 347 this morning.  I suspect it was the exceptionally long day yesterday and again.  I didn't get to bed until 7:00?  Up to several hours later, if no earlier.  Long days, back to back, especially if caused by the misery of absolute exhaustion, can fiddle with those numbers.  No worries.  I know I am on the right path, and that the road is bumpy, winding, and tedious.  I know it will get there.  Plus, yesterday was actually the best day for reads in a very long time.  No 400s, and only one very low 300.  That is 100 to 200 lower after one day on meds and back on keto.  Oh, another problem may have been eating to much due to such a long day.

I was, and remain, so tired focus is difficult.  I can stay keto, finally.  The two days of sun helped.  But that isn't enough to overcome exhaustion from activities.  So intermittent fasting... I can't quite do that yet.  It's on the menu, and will be added as is possible.  I still have two appointments this week, one early next month, and others lining up for the near future.  I haven't been, or been able to be, this busy since last summer.

Ducks have been tended, cat litter cleared.  I won't feed the girls for another hour, their water looks good.  Cold tea and pills down, fresh tea brewing with a fatted tea, fatted bone broth, and chia and ground flax breakfast... in parts... on the schedule.  Not a bad life.  Though fictional (too?), I have to wonder if Yoda didn't live as such in retirement.

Raining again.  I'll shower and shave shortly.  Good day.

Always good.

.
.
Lower numbers in health instrument readings, as a general rule, within limits, and regarding readings I can take at home.  Back on keto, doing shots before meals, and testing to specs.  This is the first time since falling away, without fasting, I have nearly been completely below 300.  Fasting was 297, before the first meal two hours later, it read 303, and before this last meal, again two hours apart, and the reading dropped to 204.

Yeah, this will be processed quickly.  Then to stick closer to keto.  Forever?  If I want to kick diabetes and medicine, yes.  Once out, even while grinding, I can have an off meal occasionally, two, perhaps three times a week.  Regular soda included, if that is too risky.  Begins a bad habit.  I will keep tabs on blood sugar even if I can kick it.

Technically it is just midday, according to when I last woke.  If that was a terribly off par sleep cycle.  I may head on to bed shortly.  So sleepy.  If, again, almost too sleepy to sleep.  I'll try.  Actually right now.  Yes.  No cats allowed.  They have been annoying lately and I need solid sleep.  Good night.

Ouch.

.
.
Not as much pain, grogginess, or grump as expected.  I wasn't able to sleep until 7:00. Woke sometime at right at 15:45.  I tried to remember the times, had to really think, was finally able to recall.  A bit stiff and sore.  A bit tired.  The world has a soft glow from sleep fogged eyes.  But good, really.

A second call to my mom.  This one went through.  She is doing well.  Their whether is tracking ours, a few days behind.  They got a good deal warmer, if as much due to lower elevation, humidity, and a much longer sunshine window.  A four degrees difference wouldn't be thought all that much, but that sun, through the lens of that humidity...  wow.  She was pleased, cautiously, with my car.  Her guy's son recently bought one.  Extra happy I didn't get rid of my Xterra in the process.  I didn't think she liked my Nandi?  Women!

After two days of solid sun, much needed and greatly appreciated, it is again overcast. No complaint.  As with bobbing on the river, surfacing for air enough was... enough.  Back under?  So be it.  I can actually use that to my advantage.  I heal better in the cold.  Even cool weather is better.  Between my pushing and starting insulin, healing will begin.

I have been too busy, and traveling, so eating right hasn't been possible.  Even so, my highs are down to the lower 300s, and my fasting draws have been amazingly sub 300!  Yeah, it is already, after a day and a third, having a rather large effect, moreso given foods consumed, and fewer meals.  Back to keto today.  Intermittent fasting too, or the beginnings of carving that back into... ¿out of?... my world.  Takes time to re-sort things.

Anyway.  Good early evening.

Busy longer day.

.
.
Two of those in a row.  Too wiped to settle to sleep.  A test drive.

It was a 2014 Chevy Cruze.  Rated at 30 mpg mixed.  Technically a five people sedan, but it would be tight in the back seats.  Huge trunk... I'd rate it at at least a two body trunk, maybe three.  ;p  The transmission on her is smooth, a six speed manual.  She only has a a 4 cylinder but you wouldn't know it.

I was a bit hesitant to take her out.  Even as forgiving as the transmission was, I never depended on that.  I did well.  We did the deal.  That is dependent upon a shop review, but it looks and sounds right.  I even drove it home through middling to heavy traffic.  I made one mistake while gearing down.  The clutch is tight and needs complete compression.  No biggie, I just had to glide to my turn, there realizing my problem.

I had to compromise, on many things.  As did they.  That is business.  Did I get a good deal?  On paper, assuming everything checks?  Oh yes, a generous deal.  But I was willing and mostly able to barter.  You have to ask, push, and drive.  They can't hand you a deal.  It was as good of a deal, and then some, as was possible given the givens.

Oh, after the cake was baked, and while doing small talk, my age came up.  Yeah, I... surprised.  A lot.  They seemed to have thought I was joking, by a lot.  I suggested if the deal wasn't done, I might have thought they were attempting something.  But no, the deal was done.  Thankfully no awful stew.  Salt fixes most things, though travelling in a rush means luxuries aren't always possible.  Then it is pure grit and a smile.

A cascade she started.

.
.
She had other thoughts, but it created a reaction.  She isn't a believer.

It took longer to get to bed than anticipated.

.
.
A texts.  Okay, it doesn't look like I said, did, or wrote anything troubling?  Too troubling.  I'll check when eye contact is available.  Still, good for now.

The temp was 60f out there, so I opened a bunch of windows.  I meant to close them all an hour ago but forgot one.  Best check them all before bed, just to be sure.

I did ask my doc about bleeding, or sore plagued hands, just in case the heart or diabetes might be the cause, she is going into cardiology.  Nope.  She wouldn't look at the sores.  I showed her my top sudoku score too.  She... was actually... surprised.  Just... developing an understanding.  Though I found out I will only see her one more time, then she is gone.

All good.  So very tired.  Now good night.

A very long day.

.
.
I couldn't sleep.  I had an appointment this morning.  So, by the time I arrived, I had been awake sixteen to eighteen hours.  First a blood draw, then primary.

Traffic was brutal.  I missed my off-ramp on top of it.  Road rage, but not at people, at the condition.  I still made it an hour early, showered and shaved.  My doc wasn't happy with my research.  She said they use the best.  I merely asked if she honestly thought her sources were better than the Mayo clinic.  Oops.  Awkward moment.

She may believe.  I hope she does.  False beliefs can be cured.  Indifference, or especially malicious intent, not so much.  I didn't do more than state my case and not back down.  She wanted to be right but couldn't simply make it so.  Period.  I really don't argue, debate, negotiate.  Not when there is no need or right purpose.

I was sure, from the long day and brutal road, my blood pressure was going to be sky-high.  The first one was in the low 140s/80s to 90s?  I was tickled blue.  But, no, that wasn't good enough.  Oh, I was terrified it would be higher.  With all the givens, I... had doubts.  Still... it's their gridiron.  Wonderful, as it turned out, say 121/very low 80s!  Pulse showed my effort, 110 at first, no second reading.

So, I have the heart and bp better by lots.  The heart has thickened and deformed from the pounding, but it is pumping out blood fast enough.  Mostly.  Now for diabetes and weight loss.  The A1C was at 12, not good at all.  Here is were we crossed words over medicine.  Further, I simply refused anything other than the fastest acting stuff they had, or I would save up for it.

We... negotiated.  Oh, I understand.  I assured her.  And described some things that clarified my understanding, including methods for and reasons to hack insulin pumps. Anyway.  I agreed to whatever hoops and instructions she would demand, and to my honest best, so long as my preferred product was offered.  The deal was struck, scripts and instructions were written up.  I will read them each day for the next few, and keep them around.  Pretty easy, mostly, but I am so tired.

I was half way to the interstate before I realized I forgot my scripts.  I thought about just keeping going.  But, no.  I had asked for people to sign off on it, over their own objections, and I know it will work.  So back I went.  As I entered the campus, one of the coppers was right on me.  Maybe just going the same way.

I got in, saw the pharmacy rep, then went to the pharmacy to wait.  A fed cop showed up, stood at the end of my solitary aisle.  Hmm.  While I was waiting, I remembered the missed eye appointment, so rescheduled that.  Then sat back down.  An half hour goes by and the cop just kept standing there.  I asked him what he was doing.  He said he was just hanging out.  Another half hour, so I ask if he is waiting for someone to leave.  Again, he says he is just hanging out.  They don't... just hang out.  Fifteen minutes later and he leaves... to be replaced by a plain clothes, sitting at the end of my otherwise empty aisle.  I wonder if that is standard procedure from now on.  I'll talk to some people there and elsewhere if it continues.  It'll end quickly.  Promise.

Oh, and glorious sun.  Here, all the way down, and back.  I had my, mostly, last junk meal.  But that gorgious golden sun!  I could barely handle being in it, but soaked in what I could.  So very tired.  Ducks fed first thing.  The girls were fed early.  Will be fed before I sleep, then litter cleaning.  Other than traffic and the cops bearing down for whatever reason, it was a great day.

Before I crash, I need to figure something out.  Someone seems to have blown me off.  I just want to check.  Later.  Actually good night.  Bedtime might be a bit off, but I can't post again.

Must have dozed off.

.
.
I don't know when.  No clue.  Not sure when I woke.  Ducks and cats have been fed and watered, teeth brushed, and fresh tea set.  But, depending on how fast or slow I am going, that all can take five minutes or an hour.  Yeah, I can go that slow.  I have no scale of time currently.  I need sunshine to... break from darkness induced spring doldrums.

I woke in glorious pain.  I had to push through it to function.  I might have screamed in agony a few times, but that would merely have exacerbated the headache.  Besides, even when extreme pain catches me off guard, I have learned suffering in absolute silence is usually best.  Rarely will those who come running be there to help.  It has all mostly passed, if a handful of aspirin along with evening medicine was gulped.

Surprisingly, I have been keeping on medication in an exemplary fashion, even through massive harsh irregular uncontrollable shifts in my sleep patterns.  Same with brushing and the critters.  Keeping up with the cats, their needs and some wants, was my first real steps out of my grave.  That is what cemented my theory that life is only truly understood through service... service to others.

With only barely a breath of a breeze of life which should be a gale it was a test, serving the girls, leaving enough to handle my basic needs.  I have almost come back to life.  With the ducks, I now have... get?... to face the elements.  I have more to do as well.  Life, success, health, what of it can be known, only derives from service.  The more pure, the higher the quality of those things created.

Christ said these things.  And I learned them, philosophically.  It wasn't until I was crippled below the civil poverty line, and have had to learn to even walk, talk, listen, hear, even see again, then try to go from there, that I have learned the physical application of that truth.

It is what is missing, often, in this world.  So many attempt to steal these things, simply becoming bankrupt by choking on me'ism.  The sad thing is, if you choose to serve simply, truly, purely, even for a cripple living enormously humbly, life is quite good.  Only a right wife could improve it, if she walks the same truth... if in the feminine way.  Love.  That.  Walk.  ; p

Oh, an auto may be in.  Right price, stick, age, with remaining factory warranty?  Mileage?  I'll be in to see it soon.  It's a Chevy, which does cause concern.  I'll... look at the specs and all.  It may do.  Or not.  It is cause for excitement.  Cautious excitement.  We will see.

Oh, I do chatter.  Good day and later.

Down right, back up as a yo~yo.

.
.
To sleep by 12:30.  A good sleep.  I heard the lawn mower at... hmm... around 16:00?  Perhaps several hours later.  Anyway.  I often hear that or other vehicles or sounds, but rarely wake with such little sleep.  A shower, first thing.  I will have some of that pork roast soon, again.  It turned out quite good.  There is enough that I am freezing some.  That's a first.

Such creatures.

.
.
At war?  Isn't love a form of war?  Well...

Rocking.

.
.
Around the clock.  My schedule is spinning.  As has been the case for a while.  Weeks?  Months?  I just can't tell.  To bed slightly after noon, half past plus or minus small change.  Awake right at 21:00, surrendering a technicality.  Well rested but slightly hungry.  A massive pork roast is thawed and just waiting.  I'll start the grill after this.

I might be crushed by the dark and gloom, but I am keeping up on dailies.  I don't know if good weather will help.  Not if it goes straight to heat.  I must focus, push, shove, to get out, up, going.  I have to try to eat better, get to hiking and swimming.  I can, or will.

I am loving life, even through pain and gripes.  It isn't bad if it could be better.  I'll keep working on things.  Grill is started.  Later.

A few changes.

.
.
Leg cramps.  Too much outflow.  Dinking too much, thus causing a cascade?  I suspect.  It might be drinking to little.  I will attempt a fix by, again lowering the water pill dose, from three to two.  It's still a high dose but I am a very big dog, twice the standard human size.  I ignored occasional cramping for a week, but it has become regular, at night (my night, near bedtime) and during sleep.

Cold, dark, wet, actually raining.  It is rather brutal.  I forgot to turn the the heat up.  Done.  So very cold.  And dark.  Damp, in the air.  Still, spring is going to arrive soon.

Nothing was thawed.  I'll put out a pork roast.  It is quite large.  Just it for now.  When half through that, I will get a small chuck and package of hindquarters out... drummies actually.  They don't offer whole hindquarters here, that I can find.  If, after a while of it, I think it's better this way.  They cook at drastically different times, thighs and drummies.  Perhaps even more so at altitude... and the continued cooking after being removed from the heat is much diminished at altitude.  No gripe, just an understanding.  I love the highlands, this isn't even a price, it's merely knowledge.  You can learn to use it as an advantage.  Cooking slower but a bit higher gets it done more quickly.

I have some sort of dry cough going on.  It feels like it is from a dry throat.  It can't be that.  However, tea can do that sometimes.  As can some spices.  I'm not sure, perhaps excess voiding is the culprit?  Another week and I will begin grousing for the problem(s) and solution(s).

Oh, the folk who are helping me out with SSA have received paperwork to fill out.  They were asked what handedness I am.  Really?  Anyway, I am surprised they were sent a packet.  Very strange.  Hmm.  I better warn them to make a copy.  The SSD loses paperwork incredibly regularly.  Or the post office guy was circular filing them?  We have a new post office guy though.  Still...

Hungry.  Nothing... well... chia cereal, or pecans or other such.  Yea.  Later.