Up!

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Dealing with tunnel vision, but not feeling like I'll pass out.  So... it's better?  Mostly.  Actually?  Much better.  I don't hurt... uhrm.... anywhere!  That's... a first, for... a goodly while.  Why my eyes are so funky?  The change in blood pressure, blood sugar, these can affect sight in extreme ways.  Are affecting sight?  I... can only speculate.  If I do so strongly.

I went down right at 18:00.  Was up later... in part to test things later.  Then after hitting 17:00, insomnia was setting in.  Thankfully I realized the issue and went on to bed before much longer.  I didn't wake through the night, not even to pee?  That's... a first.  Though, as carnivore, once it was truly accepted and begun, became de facto, like it or not, I have been peeing less (at night, more during the day by a lot).  Which... has me already thinking of attempting to cut the waterpills I am taking.  Two currently.  Perhaps one will do?  And, maybe, in time, half or none?

It's... the little things, that become big things.  Little symptoms, or problems, or issues, which improve, over time.  Well, and some odd issues, which were letting me know.  Tunnel vision probably means bp is low.  Though weak/spaghettis legs do as well.  I almost fell down the steps today.  Thankfully my arms are strong.  My legs just... weren't there.  Ugh.  I was near the top, too.  And, it feels like I am walking with greasy shoes, or something.  No grease, I promise.  Just... lack of sensation.  A problem I have never had until blood pressure dropped through the floor.  So, yes, I get it.  Actually, I wonder if that isn't what my mother was suffering?  Can't be sure, but she kept falling, losing her legs, having a weakness, and such.

Anyway...  I am up.  I'll give it that first hour for the body to settle.  Without anything, not even water.  Then test blood sugar and blood pressure.  Though, this morning, I have decided to cut carvedilol in half, again.  Because of how low bp was yesterday afternoon.  If it gets too high, then, I will add back amlodipine, or half of it.  But that, only after a few days to let it settle.  Ugh.  But... I am trying, working on things.

It is raining out there.  Can't be freezing then?  Nope, 43 out there.  As well as I could see.  With my eyes... sight... in tunnel vision, I can just... get a rough sight on things.  Small details are hard on the eyes, currently.  But, vision is slowly returning to... some sort of function.  Oh, and beside tunnel vision pretty much all of the time, my eyes are dilated as if they just added those drops.  Even as dark as I keep my house, it is as if I was out in the most blinding of days.  Without shade or cap or sunglasses, or on a snowy sunny day more like.  It has been like this for... a week, or nearing it.

Which means, for the most part, I am typing blind.  If I look, sideways, squinting hard, and using other methods as needed, I can... read some of what I am writing.  But certainly not all of it.  If my editing has been subpar, now you know why.  I... am writing blind.  Pretty much literally.  And have been for a week.  Could you tell?  *grins*

Well... on with the day.  Enjoying the sound of the rain.  Seeing just a bit better today.  Feeling a ton better.  Best put in my dairy order.  Oh, but only later after I am sure they are awake.  That gent runs... quite a life.  For good or ill, he works all day, most weekends, and else.  Good day.

A final check.

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BP of 108/70 with a pulse of 69.  Blood sugar at 133.  Okay.  Blood sugar is really good.  BP is too low.  That is half an hour after medication.  Ugh.  I have been stumbling through the latter half of the day, even before medication.  I... may cut some more?  There is one medication I am taking two of a day.  I'll cut that to half?  Or should I cut the main pill in half again?  To be honest, I am thinking of cutting the stronger one in half.

Why?  This bp level is absolutely brutal.  It hurts in ways I can't describe well.  Leaving no energy in my muscles, causing even bones to hurt somehow.  The painpills arrived, as with everything supposed to arrive.  It doesn't always go as planned, but this time it was  clean sweep, five packages.  I took a fistful, but it's not doing all that much good.

The second checks...

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Blood pressure is 136/84, with a pulse of 60?  Strange.  I don't mind the bp, that is within my mark.  Strange that it would go up after medicine?  But, okay.  No, haven't had coffee yet, so that isn't it.  Just water.  I decided to check blood sugar, to see if the flavored carbonated water is affecting blood sugar.  It is 164, exactly what it was at fasting check.  So... that is good, if just one data point.

It looks like what I am doing is helping.  Cutting medicine, so far, looks to be improving my condition.  Will the bp continue to rise?  Will the symptoms diminish further?  Time will tell.  It will take days, or a week, to find out.  As suggested, I will only cut medicine further if blood pressure drops.  And, if if blood pressure rises over the target of 140/90, then I'll add some back in.

On to the next steps in the day.

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BP of 122/84 pulse of 74.  Blood sugar at 164 fasting.  But, the bp is not official.  It is raw.  Before water, medicine, coffee, anything.  I took medicine right after taking the readings.  And, I'll finish up the electrolyte vinegar tonic, then in another hour, check bp again.  That will be the official number.  Just want to see what it is before medicine.

To be honest, at that number, I am a bit worried.  It could drop very quickly, and by a lot.  These medicines are extremely potent.  Still, for now, reductions in medicine have to be tempered.  And, in truth, I may be being a bit hasty in the reduction.  Down half the most serious of medications, and the dropping of one of the minor medications whole.

To bed and up again.

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When back down?  I think close to one.  Not quite?  A bit after?  I think more like half to, quarter to two?  Guessing, to a degree.  I heard the alarm at three, and hit snooze until that timed out.  Or until I stopped being able to respond to it, at 3:30?  I don't remember a buzz after that.  Neared waking at five, and six, but wasn't able to do much about the impulse until here at a quarter after seven?  Or so?  It's 7:27 as I sit.  Dressed, Sassy fed?  No, she wasn't interested.

I did a few things, I just can't remember what.

Several things.

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The aches, the nausea, the inability to sleep?  Well... I tried several things at once.

First, water with electrolyte powder.  With it, I took the minerals I had stopped taking (magnesium, zinc, calcium, d3 mixed).  And, finally, I took the last two painkillers left to me, the stronger ones.  Over the counter, but... somewhat dubious due to the mix?  If... you trust medicine, at all, these days?

Up way early.

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Blood pressure is 111/71, pulse 88.  But I just woke up.  And way early.  It was just at 22:00, having gone to bed at 16:00.  I crashed hard, slept well, until I didn't, couldn't.  Truth is, I started waking at 20:00.  I tried to sleep, and did, for that little bit of extra two hours.  

My neck hurts.  Pulse is probably only that high because waking was hard.  Getting dressed, feeding Sassy, checking the temperature outdoors... which is 32 F.  But muscles are still weak, hurt, as if overused, abused.  I promise, they haven't been.

Better over better.

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Whatever I did, am doing, it is working.  It started with drinking fluid, and electrolytes.  Then coffee, with cream.  Fighting through to not passing out, as well as checking stats.  Realizing the possible problems and attempting to research those problems.

Since then, I have been simply trying to cool or warm as needed.  Keep fluid intake up.  Then, another coffee with my meal.  I was able to get up and get the griddle heated.  I had thin cut chops, which I salted in hopes that would help.  Salted a little extra.  And, yes, that tasted absolutely delicious, so I probably needed extra salt.

Feeling a bit better yet.

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Not perfect.  Perfection is a whole other can of worms, of course.  Better.  Not good, but enough better that I'm not worried.  I really thought I might end up going down, even dying.  It sure felt like it.  Now...  not so much.  But, I am still suffering.  But it feels more like I am suffering in recovery, rather than suffering a collapse, trying to live, fighting to stay conscious.

I will take afternoon medicine, shortly.  But, as mentioned, I will decrease the dose.  The strongest medicine I take is... dangerous.  Too much can lead to... dark moments.  And, with being on a true carnivore diet, with pretty much zero carbs?  Yeah.  The combination is extremely potent.  I should have been checking bp, but... between the cold, the change in diet, and some other things, I... just... wasn't doing what I should have been doing.

Just a bit better.

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Blood pressure is slightly up at 112/72, if pulse is down a bit to 59.  Blood sugar continues to spike, up to 201.  All I have had is a vinegar tonic (two tablespoons of apple cider vinegar, a dose of electrolyte powder (no sugars, or other sweeteners), and twenty ounces of carbonated water.  From 157 fasting, to 192, to this?  Very strange.

I have stopped with the cold sweats.  Though, now, I am just getting cold.  I'll put the jacket, neck gator, and cap back on.  I had to take those off.

Ah-ha!

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I may have found the problem.  Low blood pressure?  It was 93/65.  Technically that is in the "good range".  From 120/80 to 90/60 is said to be "healthy".  The problem, for me, is that my system is used to bp being in 215/180 (natural... or unassisted) to 150/110 (on all but the most severe medications).  Now, on extreme medication, my blood pressure had dropped to 120/80... mostly.

However, having gone pure carnivore?  It seems to have... altered something.  And my body is simply not ready for such a low bp.  Pulse was 63.  That is said to be healthy between 60 and 100, down to 40 for solid athletes.  I'm... not an athlete.  As well, my pulse has been running as high as 140, though closer to 110-120, if even more recently hitting closer to 80.  So my body simply isn't ready for 60.

Up, right at three.

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I woke just before, at about 2:56.  In time to turn the alarm off, before it sounded.  Then, got out and started dressing right at three.  Pretty quick, this morning.  Just some fuss about what to wear.  Some of my pants aren't all that warm, so I have started wearing leggings with them.  Depends on what I want to wear that day.

Leggings, socks over those, shoes these days, pants, a long sleeve tshirt, a fleece jacket, a neck gator, and a cap.  If I am still feeling cool, I'll throw a heavy hooded jacket over all that.  Usually I don't need it, even when the front room is cooler.  At 65, starting this morning, it's almost warm with what I am wearing.

I made it until mid-afternoon.

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Broken.  Brutal day.  Difficult to keep at it.  But... done.  No more work.  I did keep Sassy fed.  Changed her water out this morning, for fresh.  And, I'll hit her litter boxes before going on to bed.  But, that's it.  And it was pushing it.  Well, medicine was taken.

I did one final check of blood sugar.  It was down to 132?  Whatever.  A stupid strange thing.  That after a second coffee, so... it's not the coffee, or cream, that is pushing blood sugar up?  I don't know.  Like I said, I'm trying a few things.  Will see, in time.

Well, to the afternoon.

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It's been a very rough day.  Nausea, from heavy to light.  Aches and pains, mostly just bodily.  Some of it as if I strained my physical capacity, some of it just muscle aches for no good reason.  Hunger, though, too.  In spite of eating a solid meal, with coffee earlier.  I'm about to have another cup of joe.  Going smaller with my doses, so two coffees is as one used to be.

Not sure if it will disturb the nausea.  Which has slightly settled, if still there.  I just have to figure tings out as I go.  If coffee is too much of a problem, I may have to give it up, too.  Sacrifices?  For life?  Either life is valuable to you, or it isn't.  For me, it is valuable.  When I can sort things out, I... do my best.

A very difficult day.

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Why tunnel vision?  I can't say.  Out of breath, and energy, quickly as well.

I did push through, to make a meal.  Very thinly sliced onions, smothering the burgers.  Then with cheese over the top.  I forgot to reset the timer, so they cooked probably an extra three to six minutes.  Nothing burned.  The cheese melted wonderfully, and the onions softened nicely.  The burger might have been very slightly overdone.  But... it was good.

A very few things.

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Trash is out, to the curb.  I only saw trash bins out, the few that were out, on my way to the post office.  Still, I wanted to check closer to pickup time.  Around 6:30 I poked my head out.  Nope, all seemed to be just the trash bins.  So... that is that.  But, it is out.  Ready.  All good.  

And I received my utility bill.  I knew I was behind.  So paid a good chunk, if not all of it.  But, wasn't exactly sure how much I was yet behind.  I was thinking... $100 to $200, more like in the middle?  Nope, just behind $69 currently.  Good, I can catch up next month.  Always good to be less behind than thought.  Well, and that includes this month, so... much better.

Up nicely this morning.

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Dressed, then dressed again.  Awake at 2:30 this morning, instead of after five.  I beat the alarm.  Why dressed twice?  Well, sometimes I dress for the house.  Just around the house, and maybe yard, as I cook outside.  But not for leaving.  However, I had to get to the post office.  Packages were in.  In a box?  I didn't think so, but maybe.

So, I had to change what I was wearing, just in case I bumped into someone.  That didn't happen, but I was ready if it did.  The oil filters, for the bike, where in.  As were the key blanks.  Good, good.  Now to get those cut.  But, good to check the post, from time to time, anyway.  All junk, almost, all the time.  But it's clear now.

Difficulties.

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Nausea, exhaustion, pains here there and everywhere.  Okay.

Causes?  What should be asked, if going to a doctor with new problems?  What... have you been eating?  Any changes?  Back when doctors actually looked for solutions, that was the first question.  Today they just skip to exploring the symptoms and looking for medication(s) to treat that.  Your health... isn't important, and doesn't pay well enough to consider.

Difficult day.

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Just so exhausted, tired in ways that don't make sense.  Even so, still hoping to push through to some things.  Last time I checked, several hours ago, it was still at 22 F out there.  This front room is just to 68 nearing eleven.  But I am dressed rather warmly.

I did check blood sugar just a bit ago.  I had some hope it would have dropped.  Nope, though the rise was just three points, to 156.  But why the rise?  I did have a steak, and fatted if unsweetened coffee, through the morning.  Still, it really shouldn't have risen.  Frustrating.  Then again, it is staying below two hundred, and trending much better.

Awake way late!

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I had the alarm set for 3:00.  I don't remember it sounding.  Dreaming of women all night long, sex with them if... not quite.  The idea of sex with them?  Pillow talk, the warm up to it, the fuzzy world after.  Never quite sex, but everything around it.  Women are annoying.  I think... I like to be annoyed?  *big ol' laugh*

It was 5:30 when I finished getting socks on, dressed the rest of the way, and on my way down.  I used the loo, put the kettle to heating water, and fed Sassy.  As the machine warmed up.  It was ready by the time I sat down to it.  The only way to go.  But, for some reason, I am extremely bone weary.