Well, to the afternoon.

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It's been a very rough day.  Nausea, from heavy to light.  Aches and pains, mostly just bodily.  Some of it as if I strained my physical capacity, some of it just muscle aches for no good reason.  Hunger, though, too.  In spite of eating a solid meal, with coffee earlier.  I'm about to have another cup of joe.  Going smaller with my doses, so two coffees is as one used to be.

Not sure if it will disturb the nausea.  Which has slightly settled, if still there.  I just have to figure tings out as I go.  If coffee is too much of a problem, I may have to give it up, too.  Sacrifices?  For life?  Either life is valuable to you, or it isn't.  For me, it is valuable.  When I can sort things out, I... do my best.

It is 55 out there!  That's the warmest I have seen it in... a week?  Two?  Seems like for a long time.  To be honest, I am extremely surprised it is that warm.  I sort of that that was it for the year.  Nice to have it, even if it's probably just for a day or two?  Who knows.

On the good side, blood sugar finally came down a bit, to 146.  That isn't as low as it was.  But it's... better than it was more recently.  For now, I'll take the good and the bad as they arrive, and attempt to celebrate or handle whichever as I should.  Life isn't fair.  It is complicated.  It can be reasonable.  But that can't be expected, or even honestly hoped for, most of the time?  Not for me, not for decades.

Oh, for nausea?  I may try coffee just black, without cream?  Another option.  Gotta sort it out.  Short term?  Permanent?  Only time will tell.

As to the previous vids?  I... understand... why the negatives.  Truly, I do.  Women... know themselves.  And have little love for that side.  In spite of them all being feminists.  They prefer the masculine, even the darker forms of it.  Never worry.  Those are just... sides and cuts from... an aspect of the weak.  Something I feel, from time to time.  Sometimes all I can handle.  I am, and always will be... more... and less...

God asked me to carry a cross.  Didn't realize it was so large.  But, okay.

Women are too annoying to be one.  *grins*  But, I am not so small a man I cannot see that aspect of me, and present it.  I do not fear, one or the other.  Just as I do not fear life or death, or pain... or even comfort.  If anything, I fear comfort.  Could grow too used to that, when it shows for rare moments.  Amen.