I made it until mid-afternoon.

.

.

Broken.  Brutal day.  Difficult to keep at it.  But... done.  No more work.  I did keep Sassy fed.  Changed her water out this morning, for fresh.  And, I'll hit her litter boxes before going on to bed.  But, that's it.  And it was pushing it.  Well, medicine was taken.

I did one final check of blood sugar.  It was down to 132?  Whatever.  A stupid strange thing.  That after a second coffee, so... it's not the coffee, or cream, that is pushing blood sugar up?  I don't know.  Like I said, I'm trying a few things.  Will see, in time.

Health really is science.  Medicine is no longer science.  It is industry.  Choose which you wish to abide.  I will, eventually, lose.  But if I followed their recommendations I would already be dead.  Then again, they gave me up for dead a very long time ago.  They know they aren't what is keeping me alive, that wasn't their goal.  When triage puts someone in the "do not bother with" category, they can, and have, tried to end my life.  Sucks to play god and be ignored.

Got to admit, it feels like death, often enough.  But, until God frees me to that, here I'll be.  Brutal.  Truly.  Today is one of the difficult ones.  I do wonder how I keep on going.  Though, too, sometimes I wonder if there is more to my illness than meets the eye.  Poison, in my food?  Drink?  Some people truly hate, and would see me dead.  For... a number of reasons.  They just don't get it.  When God says "no"?  He means it.

Hmm... on to bed.  Goodnight.