.
.
But I have been triangulating back toward the saddle. Putting my foot in and going up as far as I can as long as I can. Piecemeal, slow, and backwards sometimes, I have done what I can as I could. I finally purchased caffeine in an easily dispensing form. Coffee production had come to a halt due to production complications. Still not awake, always behind the 8-ball, but still trying. We will see if I can make today a bit more fruitful.
I am hoping the docs have something because there is little I can do. Pushing is nice, but there has to be some kind of break, some 'new weapon in the war', some change of strategy. While I am doing a thousand percent better here than in Iowa, in that I maintain awareness, so can set goals and keep many more of them, I am still fighting exhaustion beyond what most people can know. Sleep apnea sufferers can fully understand the sense of exhaustion, but I have been tested out of that. Imagine having sleep apnea symptoms for the last two decades, full blown, untreatable, hardcore. There you go. They so want it to be psychological. It gives the doctors an out.
Well, a call today to try and realign something that got missed last Monday. When my other appointment, the main one, was canceled, I lost track of the little one. Ugh... So be it. I will do what I can, at this point, to amend that. Perhaps a bit more cleanup in the house, another shower and then a soak bath? Attention to grooming. I might even get a haircut soon, schedule one. I need to get up again. We will see.
Alright, that is all the news from the war front. Just have to keep trying.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
Oh yeah? Yeah!
.
.
Really really.
New page, next day, time rolls on, and perhaps more with me than not. I woke later than I had hoped, but within the timeframe needed, to get me to SLC in time for the first of several events there. As I am sitting there, just... sitting there but not going back to sleep, the phone makes a funny sound meaning someone is calling because that sure as hell is not a ring. One of my appointments for the day has been canceled. The other one is non-vital, a thing that can be done on any day, so I will reschedule it. I would rather not travel today if I do not have to. I am still in recovery mode. I will call them within the hour.
Not wishing to waste a lot of spent focus, I decide a shower and gum mushing episode would be providential, or something. The biggest word I could probably put together at the time I set forth on those operations, however, was probably more in the range of 'Good! It r good to wet!'. And, it was indeed good, might even have been providential. I might know what that word even means in... a while.
Still, even if I still partied like the party did not stop until yesterday, as if I was drinking like I was at age 30 or so, and is partying would earn me favor, fortune, and love, and feel like I just woke up from it, I think I know what the problem is and will be fixing it. Oh yes, I will be buying soda as soon as I can get out. Maybe today. If the snow has not hardened to rock, I will try to use the blower on it. If it has, I have new temporary concrete.
I dreamed an odd dream last night. A girl, young and foolish, decided to seduce her brother for fun, fashion, and as a lark. Of course, as many larks want, this one went wrong. She lost control and her brother could not be controlled. He would take her when he could, she could say nothing, she had opened the door. Now, her mother did not know who or what, but knew her daughter and was sure of one thing. She asked, as mothers do, ever so slight of questions. The door to the answers was slammed so tightly shut, no information was yielded no matter how passive or direct and powerful the questioning went... of course. So, she took the daughter on a trip into town. They went to a store where, she asked her daughter to look at a set of rings, promisary rings. When the daughter asked what these rings required as a promise, the mother took the daughter to a section of 'greeting cards', allowing her to pick them up and read them. Actually, not allowing but encouraging the reading.
The daughter picked up a card, and it read something along the lines of; 'Thank you for having decided to offer me life instead of the other choice you had, I am and will always be grateful for your choice and sacrifice...' and so on. Of course the daughter had thought of this potential. Of course it all was considered. But until that moment, it had no real context. The dream sort of ended there, or that is all I remember. That and a bit of horror on the part of the girl. Strange that I would have such a dream. Even given Jungian theory, if I have that right.
Oh, something else that has been on my mind... well, two things. First, the notion that one man, who spends his time lifting his mind, using it for all manner of learning and practice, might be considered great. And yet, not. Not only will he fall short, he may and probably will fall shorter than the man who simply lives. As great as our capacity for good is our capacity for evil. Even taking good and evil and simplifying it to wrong and right should suffice in this notion. The more man thinks, the more incorrect he becomes. Philosophical, logical, and linguistic function lead only to greater folly, for any man.
While I appreciate the art of these things, I would not wish to go that rout. I am, for the most part and given a choice (and when functioning) a man of function. Does it work? Can you repeat it? Is it worth spending the money to make it work and repeat? Deciphering the wisdom of ancient men and their works, while laudable in an academic (non-collegiate, non-university, academics that is), it is merely a toy for the wealthy who have the time and resources to devote to (quite often) nonsense. Aristotle? Tolstoy? Even my favored Americans (if at least one may have not preferred to have been called American) Twain and Poe? Fools, the lot. Follow, believe, understand, it is folly. Rich men, or men of leisure, with followers and someone who just happened to maintain what they wrote to some degree of accuracy or not. Men are fools.
Why, even Einstein and Freud have their devoted idiots in spite of being quite wrong. Freud has been debunked fully and clearly and yet the cult of psychology has no means of ferreting out the incorrect. They merely build a side study department for those who will not comply, a side study which is just as likely to be department chair or head up the whole of the pseudo science lead. Both provided theory which is taught to people who merely learn well, but who cannot see well enough to know what they are taught is incorrect or how, unless that too is taught, and that teaching itself is probably erroneous.
So, pick your heroes. Base it on whatever you wish. We all need heroes. But think about it. Is another mortal fool man going to be your hero? I went through that, tossing all save one. I look up and down at no man who abides my attentions. I will grant this one is a better fighter, that one can maintain a farm or ranch better than others, this one seems to touch on wisdom by choice, vocation, or avocation in excess of the others. But none are to be trusted or given undue grants of my sovereignty. I give nothing, save to one.
Just... clearing some baffles. Mr. Coffin, you may assume scheduled heading and speed at your leisure. Aye, aye, captain.
.
Really really.
New page, next day, time rolls on, and perhaps more with me than not. I woke later than I had hoped, but within the timeframe needed, to get me to SLC in time for the first of several events there. As I am sitting there, just... sitting there but not going back to sleep, the phone makes a funny sound meaning someone is calling because that sure as hell is not a ring. One of my appointments for the day has been canceled. The other one is non-vital, a thing that can be done on any day, so I will reschedule it. I would rather not travel today if I do not have to. I am still in recovery mode. I will call them within the hour.
Not wishing to waste a lot of spent focus, I decide a shower and gum mushing episode would be providential, or something. The biggest word I could probably put together at the time I set forth on those operations, however, was probably more in the range of 'Good! It r good to wet!'. And, it was indeed good, might even have been providential. I might know what that word even means in... a while.
Still, even if I still partied like the party did not stop until yesterday, as if I was drinking like I was at age 30 or so, and is partying would earn me favor, fortune, and love, and feel like I just woke up from it, I think I know what the problem is and will be fixing it. Oh yes, I will be buying soda as soon as I can get out. Maybe today. If the snow has not hardened to rock, I will try to use the blower on it. If it has, I have new temporary concrete.
I dreamed an odd dream last night. A girl, young and foolish, decided to seduce her brother for fun, fashion, and as a lark. Of course, as many larks want, this one went wrong. She lost control and her brother could not be controlled. He would take her when he could, she could say nothing, she had opened the door. Now, her mother did not know who or what, but knew her daughter and was sure of one thing. She asked, as mothers do, ever so slight of questions. The door to the answers was slammed so tightly shut, no information was yielded no matter how passive or direct and powerful the questioning went... of course. So, she took the daughter on a trip into town. They went to a store where, she asked her daughter to look at a set of rings, promisary rings. When the daughter asked what these rings required as a promise, the mother took the daughter to a section of 'greeting cards', allowing her to pick them up and read them. Actually, not allowing but encouraging the reading.
The daughter picked up a card, and it read something along the lines of; 'Thank you for having decided to offer me life instead of the other choice you had, I am and will always be grateful for your choice and sacrifice...' and so on. Of course the daughter had thought of this potential. Of course it all was considered. But until that moment, it had no real context. The dream sort of ended there, or that is all I remember. That and a bit of horror on the part of the girl. Strange that I would have such a dream. Even given Jungian theory, if I have that right.
Oh, something else that has been on my mind... well, two things. First, the notion that one man, who spends his time lifting his mind, using it for all manner of learning and practice, might be considered great. And yet, not. Not only will he fall short, he may and probably will fall shorter than the man who simply lives. As great as our capacity for good is our capacity for evil. Even taking good and evil and simplifying it to wrong and right should suffice in this notion. The more man thinks, the more incorrect he becomes. Philosophical, logical, and linguistic function lead only to greater folly, for any man.
While I appreciate the art of these things, I would not wish to go that rout. I am, for the most part and given a choice (and when functioning) a man of function. Does it work? Can you repeat it? Is it worth spending the money to make it work and repeat? Deciphering the wisdom of ancient men and their works, while laudable in an academic (non-collegiate, non-university, academics that is), it is merely a toy for the wealthy who have the time and resources to devote to (quite often) nonsense. Aristotle? Tolstoy? Even my favored Americans (if at least one may have not preferred to have been called American) Twain and Poe? Fools, the lot. Follow, believe, understand, it is folly. Rich men, or men of leisure, with followers and someone who just happened to maintain what they wrote to some degree of accuracy or not. Men are fools.
Why, even Einstein and Freud have their devoted idiots in spite of being quite wrong. Freud has been debunked fully and clearly and yet the cult of psychology has no means of ferreting out the incorrect. They merely build a side study department for those who will not comply, a side study which is just as likely to be department chair or head up the whole of the pseudo science lead. Both provided theory which is taught to people who merely learn well, but who cannot see well enough to know what they are taught is incorrect or how, unless that too is taught, and that teaching itself is probably erroneous.
So, pick your heroes. Base it on whatever you wish. We all need heroes. But think about it. Is another mortal fool man going to be your hero? I went through that, tossing all save one. I look up and down at no man who abides my attentions. I will grant this one is a better fighter, that one can maintain a farm or ranch better than others, this one seems to touch on wisdom by choice, vocation, or avocation in excess of the others. But none are to be trusted or given undue grants of my sovereignty. I give nothing, save to one.
Just... clearing some baffles. Mr. Coffin, you may assume scheduled heading and speed at your leisure. Aye, aye, captain.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Some things come to mind...
.
.
On days like this. I was actually starting to pick up and do well. Days were my domain, exercising was beginning, cooking was beginning, the kitchen and house were beginning to be maintained, and at worst I had an occasional hiccup. The last few days prove effort has nothing to do with it. Sleep and wake cycles have been completely tossed in the air. I have been completely unable to control when I go to bed or wake up, snapping awake at random times, unable to fall back to sleep, and my efforts have been true, solid, and pathetically ineffective. All I get for my efforts is deeper exhaustion and this wonderful mini-migraine that might be about to mature. Ah, well, what else was happening? I cannot say I am bored. Much like being at sea in a heavy storm, it has moments which are at least... breathtaking.
Still, there are things I would like to get to doing. It is much more difficult when the battering from the loss of control leaves me unable to focus, makes work many times more difficult than it should be, and complicates the simple idea of maintaining the focus to pick up my butt from here and put it over there. I have to take something for this headache today. I have been ignoring them, for the most part. They started, perhaps, a week ago. They have been intensifying. Though not quite nauseating, they are brutal.
The good news? Besides Jesus Christ? (just covering the bases) That would be that even if life is a little confusing, memory is good, clarity of notions is good, etc. I may lose focus, but I remember losing focus. And, yes, memory is that important and more. It does not matter what else you do if you remember nothing. You cannot set goals, you cannot push, you cannot change directions.
Some Tylenol down the gullet, a cup of coffee being introduced, and I will see about today. The only thing I changed was my consumption of (Splenda based) diet Coke. I do consume coffee, perhaps not as much. But then I thought coffee had more caffeine? I may, simply, have to go back, then ease away from the junk. Perhaps that is all there is to it?
Anyway, I might be all junked up, but I still think about you all. Your little mouse lives, walk through the stars, or whatever you want to term your life here is of interest to me. Must be cool, if sometimes sad, to be God. If he knows the bad in all of us, he also knows the good. The stuff no one else knows. I think if there was too little of that, if not by flood, He would again destroy man. He really would. So, be good for goodness sake? Yep. :) Later.
.
On days like this. I was actually starting to pick up and do well. Days were my domain, exercising was beginning, cooking was beginning, the kitchen and house were beginning to be maintained, and at worst I had an occasional hiccup. The last few days prove effort has nothing to do with it. Sleep and wake cycles have been completely tossed in the air. I have been completely unable to control when I go to bed or wake up, snapping awake at random times, unable to fall back to sleep, and my efforts have been true, solid, and pathetically ineffective. All I get for my efforts is deeper exhaustion and this wonderful mini-migraine that might be about to mature. Ah, well, what else was happening? I cannot say I am bored. Much like being at sea in a heavy storm, it has moments which are at least... breathtaking.
Still, there are things I would like to get to doing. It is much more difficult when the battering from the loss of control leaves me unable to focus, makes work many times more difficult than it should be, and complicates the simple idea of maintaining the focus to pick up my butt from here and put it over there. I have to take something for this headache today. I have been ignoring them, for the most part. They started, perhaps, a week ago. They have been intensifying. Though not quite nauseating, they are brutal.
The good news? Besides Jesus Christ? (just covering the bases) That would be that even if life is a little confusing, memory is good, clarity of notions is good, etc. I may lose focus, but I remember losing focus. And, yes, memory is that important and more. It does not matter what else you do if you remember nothing. You cannot set goals, you cannot push, you cannot change directions.
Some Tylenol down the gullet, a cup of coffee being introduced, and I will see about today. The only thing I changed was my consumption of (Splenda based) diet Coke. I do consume coffee, perhaps not as much. But then I thought coffee had more caffeine? I may, simply, have to go back, then ease away from the junk. Perhaps that is all there is to it?
Anyway, I might be all junked up, but I still think about you all. Your little mouse lives, walk through the stars, or whatever you want to term your life here is of interest to me. Must be cool, if sometimes sad, to be God. If he knows the bad in all of us, he also knows the good. The stuff no one else knows. I think if there was too little of that, if not by flood, He would again destroy man. He really would. So, be good for goodness sake? Yep. :) Later.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Yes...
.
.
Well, actually, no. No. Nothing is working. Even Sam and Sassy are not really happy with me. With them I do not understand. I did kick them out of the bedroom, they are no longer allowed to go in there or sleep with me at night. Why? Sam keeps finding new and interesting places or objects, on or near, where she might vomit. Daily daily is too much. Sassy has been clawing my feet. I presume in order to wake me up, though she may think my foot is a big mouse whilst she is half asleep. I cannot allow that, at all. She is drawing blood.
As for me, I am drifting and harshly. I cannot get to things. I have been eating as well as I am able. I have almost been keeping up with the dishes. But for the most part, I am zombified again. I cannot stay warm no matter what I set the thermostat, what I wear, or such. Then again, being chill is not really a bother. It does seem to slow me down, not a good thing. Never worry, this too will pass.
I am a bit worried about what the doctor suggested. Something about unloading 2 mg of protein when I urinate, each time. Something about kidneys, high blood pressure, and diabetes, but nothing specific. Mostly the high blood pressure, is the problem, as I have it. I will continue with the appointments and consults until we, once again, realize I am simply going to have to simply wait to die, then die right properly. Though I am beyond looking forward to it, I cannot say I will regret it. I will die frustrated that such an advanced medical society cannot figure anything with me out, that I did not get a chance to live a normal life, or even a potentially extraordinary one. I do hope my efforts are noted by the only One who counts though. I have truly tried. In any case, let us see what we shall see. And please, Lord, allow me to wake up a bit. Just a little function.
Good night.
.
Well, actually, no. No. Nothing is working. Even Sam and Sassy are not really happy with me. With them I do not understand. I did kick them out of the bedroom, they are no longer allowed to go in there or sleep with me at night. Why? Sam keeps finding new and interesting places or objects, on or near, where she might vomit. Daily daily is too much. Sassy has been clawing my feet. I presume in order to wake me up, though she may think my foot is a big mouse whilst she is half asleep. I cannot allow that, at all. She is drawing blood.
As for me, I am drifting and harshly. I cannot get to things. I have been eating as well as I am able. I have almost been keeping up with the dishes. But for the most part, I am zombified again. I cannot stay warm no matter what I set the thermostat, what I wear, or such. Then again, being chill is not really a bother. It does seem to slow me down, not a good thing. Never worry, this too will pass.
I am a bit worried about what the doctor suggested. Something about unloading 2 mg of protein when I urinate, each time. Something about kidneys, high blood pressure, and diabetes, but nothing specific. Mostly the high blood pressure, is the problem, as I have it. I will continue with the appointments and consults until we, once again, realize I am simply going to have to simply wait to die, then die right properly. Though I am beyond looking forward to it, I cannot say I will regret it. I will die frustrated that such an advanced medical society cannot figure anything with me out, that I did not get a chance to live a normal life, or even a potentially extraordinary one. I do hope my efforts are noted by the only One who counts though. I have truly tried. In any case, let us see what we shall see. And please, Lord, allow me to wake up a bit. Just a little function.
Good night.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Bumpy day.
.
.
It started at 2:00. I woke and could not get back to sleep. So, I tinkered in the late night, then crashed at about 9:00, sleeping until noon I think. I have been up since, made a decent meal, and I have done little else. Still, I sort of expect this after pushing for a few days, driving, the stress of seeing doctors knowing I will be going back. Ah well. I will survive this day, pick up as I can tomorrow, and move on as I may. Seeing a doctor will not fix me, even treatments probably will not. I think they are just experimenting with us at this point. Still, there is an outside chance they might fix something, they could make things better. But for today, I am what I am.
Sassy is starting to come around. She obviously misses the beard, so it will be coming back. Sam has been a neurotic twit lately. And very passive aggressive. She is not only all feline, she is all female! I think they ganged up and woke me last night. I know they had food, water, and even a bit of milk, so they were either fighting over me or just fighting. Or, as I said, getting even for something I probably do not even know I did. So, for a bit, they will sleep out of my room.
Not much else going on. I am hoping tomorrow is a bit more productive, and I think it will be. The alarm is set for 7:00, and I have a few more things to do before bed. Good night sweets and sours. Take your pick:)
.
It started at 2:00. I woke and could not get back to sleep. So, I tinkered in the late night, then crashed at about 9:00, sleeping until noon I think. I have been up since, made a decent meal, and I have done little else. Still, I sort of expect this after pushing for a few days, driving, the stress of seeing doctors knowing I will be going back. Ah well. I will survive this day, pick up as I can tomorrow, and move on as I may. Seeing a doctor will not fix me, even treatments probably will not. I think they are just experimenting with us at this point. Still, there is an outside chance they might fix something, they could make things better. But for today, I am what I am.
Sassy is starting to come around. She obviously misses the beard, so it will be coming back. Sam has been a neurotic twit lately. And very passive aggressive. She is not only all feline, she is all female! I think they ganged up and woke me last night. I know they had food, water, and even a bit of milk, so they were either fighting over me or just fighting. Or, as I said, getting even for something I probably do not even know I did. So, for a bit, they will sleep out of my room.
Not much else going on. I am hoping tomorrow is a bit more productive, and I think it will be. The alarm is set for 7:00, and I have a few more things to do before bed. Good night sweets and sours. Take your pick:)
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Quite a bit done, quite a bit left to do.
.
.
Of course, after coming out of a coma, the need and want is very strong. The list of lists of things to do, be, find, is almost overwhelming. The trick is to make the lists then begin one thing on each list, do it until it is done, cross it off, and move on. Dishes, cooking, cleaning, and grooming, however, are on not on any list. They are simply things that are done without thought or comment, note or worry, just done. And so it begins.
The kitchen is ever closer to being done. I know, I know, but I keep finding little groupings of dishes that I simply overlooked in my hopes that the job was done or close. Right in front of me, plain to see, but, not. Food has been good and will continue to be. I am hoping to make a batch of rice tonight and perhaps boil a half dozen eggs, then clean up. Laundry will begin in a bit. Thankfully, there is not that much. Pajamas last for days of wear.
And still I am enjoying my game and going farther and doing better. I have leveled a good dozen levels over several toons, improved professions, and explored where they will be "working". I am burning out on that a bit though. It keeps me awake though, and going. I would like to get my seventieth level to seventy fifth level, then begin on my main, who is at eighty second level to this point. Eighty fifth, of course, is the goal, arming and armoring along the way, plus working on the professions. It does help keep my mind nimble until my body can catch up, perhaps.
Sam and Sassy are enjoying a little more of papa's time and attention. Sam loves the attention. Sassy is a little put off. I shaved my beard and she... is not quite sure she still loves me. She loved my beard. I promised her I will grow it back. It had gotten scruffy and I was not in the mood or state of mind to try and pull it into trim. I do not quite have the skill. It gets out of hand quickly, or seems to do so.
I will be ready for bed tonight. I have been drinking coffee, no soda. I am rarely adding anything to it, other than milk. For whatever reason, it does not have the same kick that soda does. Or more, the kick comes, hits hard, and goes away fast, whereas soda seemed to linger. Oh well.
A few more dishes, a load in the laundry, and I think I may drift to the stupid tube or to bed. I need to stay up until 21:00 at least though, more like 22:00. It just works better. Good night, probably.
.
Of course, after coming out of a coma, the need and want is very strong. The list of lists of things to do, be, find, is almost overwhelming. The trick is to make the lists then begin one thing on each list, do it until it is done, cross it off, and move on. Dishes, cooking, cleaning, and grooming, however, are on not on any list. They are simply things that are done without thought or comment, note or worry, just done. And so it begins.
The kitchen is ever closer to being done. I know, I know, but I keep finding little groupings of dishes that I simply overlooked in my hopes that the job was done or close. Right in front of me, plain to see, but, not. Food has been good and will continue to be. I am hoping to make a batch of rice tonight and perhaps boil a half dozen eggs, then clean up. Laundry will begin in a bit. Thankfully, there is not that much. Pajamas last for days of wear.
And still I am enjoying my game and going farther and doing better. I have leveled a good dozen levels over several toons, improved professions, and explored where they will be "working". I am burning out on that a bit though. It keeps me awake though, and going. I would like to get my seventieth level to seventy fifth level, then begin on my main, who is at eighty second level to this point. Eighty fifth, of course, is the goal, arming and armoring along the way, plus working on the professions. It does help keep my mind nimble until my body can catch up, perhaps.
Sam and Sassy are enjoying a little more of papa's time and attention. Sam loves the attention. Sassy is a little put off. I shaved my beard and she... is not quite sure she still loves me. She loved my beard. I promised her I will grow it back. It had gotten scruffy and I was not in the mood or state of mind to try and pull it into trim. I do not quite have the skill. It gets out of hand quickly, or seems to do so.
I will be ready for bed tonight. I have been drinking coffee, no soda. I am rarely adding anything to it, other than milk. For whatever reason, it does not have the same kick that soda does. Or more, the kick comes, hits hard, and goes away fast, whereas soda seemed to linger. Oh well.
A few more dishes, a load in the laundry, and I think I may drift to the stupid tube or to bed. I need to stay up until 21:00 at least though, more like 22:00. It just works better. Good night, probably.
Busy, busy, busy.
.
.
Hubba hubba. While I still mostly am doing nothing, I am now adding something into the nothing at a slow but steady pace. After waking, dressing, and setting the dishes to a fresh soak, I did my wake up routine. During that, as I said in the game when I do something that forces idle time, I did my pushups and setups. I will do more pushups later, but setups as I have said, are a once a day thing. Still, I hit my goal, simple as it was. Then I did some more of the kitchen. I was not quite as through with the dishes as I had thought, though the cleaning itself is pretty much done, other than sweeping. That I am saving until after I change the litter boxes... a messy job that. More and more dishes, some straightening, and of course my game.
Then I received a call from the V.A. One of the consults came through and I am now scheduled for that. Then another call came in, and we scheduled for that. All told, I have four upcoming appointments, a twenty four hour urine sampling and blood pressure recording to do (the latter test I have to travel there in order to be fitted for) and... some other stuff. Plus, there are a few more things coming, on top of the medicine(s) I have to start or continue (almost forgot about the potassium). Anyway... it has started.
I did not brush my teeth until mid-afternoon. It simply slipped my mind. But I did get to it, and I brushed last night. I bought Crest whitening system recently and will see if it works. I chew tobacco and drink soda... well, coffee now... so it will only help a bit even if it works. I figure if I use it quarterly, for two weeks, that should get the pearlies as good as they will get. As I am moving on, my lists are growing, things to do, chores, tasks, jobs. People to call. Places to go. So it goes. I am not really back in the saddle, but I put a strong foot into the stirrup. We will see if my butt meets the leather of the saddle before too long.
I was hoping to have the kitchen spic and span before making food but my stomach revolted. What a beast! Still, fair is fair, and I have deprived the thing of anything solid for quite some time. I purchased pork chops, on the half sale rack, yesterday. I thought I would cook them last night but it just did not happen. Best to use that meat FAST, I have found. It seems today was fast enough. Pan fried, then making pan gravy, along with a couple of potatoes and a glass of milk. NICE! I had forgotten what good home cooked food tasted like. The gravy was not my best effort, if it worked well enough. I was so hungry I... hurried? Yeah, we will say that. Noice!
Well, back to tinkering until my stomach does what it does and I can walk again. Snakes have it on us there, mostly and most of the time. Have a good one, or do not. You really do choose.
.
Hubba hubba. While I still mostly am doing nothing, I am now adding something into the nothing at a slow but steady pace. After waking, dressing, and setting the dishes to a fresh soak, I did my wake up routine. During that, as I said in the game when I do something that forces idle time, I did my pushups and setups. I will do more pushups later, but setups as I have said, are a once a day thing. Still, I hit my goal, simple as it was. Then I did some more of the kitchen. I was not quite as through with the dishes as I had thought, though the cleaning itself is pretty much done, other than sweeping. That I am saving until after I change the litter boxes... a messy job that. More and more dishes, some straightening, and of course my game.
Then I received a call from the V.A. One of the consults came through and I am now scheduled for that. Then another call came in, and we scheduled for that. All told, I have four upcoming appointments, a twenty four hour urine sampling and blood pressure recording to do (the latter test I have to travel there in order to be fitted for) and... some other stuff. Plus, there are a few more things coming, on top of the medicine(s) I have to start or continue (almost forgot about the potassium). Anyway... it has started.
I did not brush my teeth until mid-afternoon. It simply slipped my mind. But I did get to it, and I brushed last night. I bought Crest whitening system recently and will see if it works. I chew tobacco and drink soda... well, coffee now... so it will only help a bit even if it works. I figure if I use it quarterly, for two weeks, that should get the pearlies as good as they will get. As I am moving on, my lists are growing, things to do, chores, tasks, jobs. People to call. Places to go. So it goes. I am not really back in the saddle, but I put a strong foot into the stirrup. We will see if my butt meets the leather of the saddle before too long.
I was hoping to have the kitchen spic and span before making food but my stomach revolted. What a beast! Still, fair is fair, and I have deprived the thing of anything solid for quite some time. I purchased pork chops, on the half sale rack, yesterday. I thought I would cook them last night but it just did not happen. Best to use that meat FAST, I have found. It seems today was fast enough. Pan fried, then making pan gravy, along with a couple of potatoes and a glass of milk. NICE! I had forgotten what good home cooked food tasted like. The gravy was not my best effort, if it worked well enough. I was so hungry I... hurried? Yeah, we will say that. Noice!
Well, back to tinkering until my stomach does what it does and I can walk again. Snakes have it on us there, mostly and most of the time. Have a good one, or do not. You really do choose.
A good morning to you.
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Because I was later getting to bed, and because pushing myself out of bed too early on some of those occasions can have me clambering for more sleep and ignoring or being unable to comply with the alarm clock, I gave myself a reasonable amount of sleep with regards to the alarm clock setting. However, I 'let my mind know' that if I could get up a little earlier, that would be good, so long as my body and all could go with the early morning. Yes, negotiating with one's own body is a good plan. And yes you can do it consciously. I just woke up, did a quick survey of my reality, talked to the body, and we all decided it was a good time to begin the morning, and two hours before the alarm was set to go off. So, again, good morning.
I will not take Wonder Woman's advice on one particular thing. I will not shower every day (mom). I am one third a typical boy cum man, one third practical in that a shower every day is neither the best for me or efficient, and one third hoping she will try to use her rope on me! What I will do, is follow the spirit of the thing. I will groom, dress, and if nothing else wear a hat when I wake. Not 'in a little while', but as soon after rising as possible. I do not need to floss, I have another trick for that (and yes, it works, even dentists cannot deny). I use those plastic toothpicks. I use them more than after meals though. They are a non-eaten munchy for me. Brushing my teeth though, that is a whole other thing. I will go with that. Do not worry, my teeth are actually better than some people who brush three times a day. Must be genetic (or two gallons of whole milk a week). I am already dressed this morning. By the way, clean skivvies are Noice! More info than you needed, but that is just the kind of guy I am.
I cannot say how far this thing will roll. But with the doctors on one end, me on another, and you all on another, I might tame this wild cave ogre and turn him back into a newt. Oh, or was that turn it back into a sane man? Either way, make it get better. We will see. I have my doubts mind you. As do you. It will not happen over night but if it happens it will begin on one single day and build from there.
Well, I am about to begin my waking procedures. Where is my pre-flight check list? Ah, there we go. Coffee is going down, blogging, so-and-such... etc... Well on my way to winding up. Talk to you when we get there, later.
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Because I was later getting to bed, and because pushing myself out of bed too early on some of those occasions can have me clambering for more sleep and ignoring or being unable to comply with the alarm clock, I gave myself a reasonable amount of sleep with regards to the alarm clock setting. However, I 'let my mind know' that if I could get up a little earlier, that would be good, so long as my body and all could go with the early morning. Yes, negotiating with one's own body is a good plan. And yes you can do it consciously. I just woke up, did a quick survey of my reality, talked to the body, and we all decided it was a good time to begin the morning, and two hours before the alarm was set to go off. So, again, good morning.
I will not take Wonder Woman's advice on one particular thing. I will not shower every day (mom). I am one third a typical boy cum man, one third practical in that a shower every day is neither the best for me or efficient, and one third hoping she will try to use her rope on me! What I will do, is follow the spirit of the thing. I will groom, dress, and if nothing else wear a hat when I wake. Not 'in a little while', but as soon after rising as possible. I do not need to floss, I have another trick for that (and yes, it works, even dentists cannot deny). I use those plastic toothpicks. I use them more than after meals though. They are a non-eaten munchy for me. Brushing my teeth though, that is a whole other thing. I will go with that. Do not worry, my teeth are actually better than some people who brush three times a day. Must be genetic (or two gallons of whole milk a week). I am already dressed this morning. By the way, clean skivvies are Noice! More info than you needed, but that is just the kind of guy I am.
I cannot say how far this thing will roll. But with the doctors on one end, me on another, and you all on another, I might tame this wild cave ogre and turn him back into a newt. Oh, or was that turn it back into a sane man? Either way, make it get better. We will see. I have my doubts mind you. As do you. It will not happen over night but if it happens it will begin on one single day and build from there.
Well, I am about to begin my waking procedures. Where is my pre-flight check list? Ah, there we go. Coffee is going down, blogging, so-and-such... etc... Well on my way to winding up. Talk to you when we get there, later.
Up late, too late.
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And, of course, again. No problem, I am about to go to bed and earlier than the last three nights. I was afraid nights were going to become the norm, but with the medical promises, perhaps I will find a way to fend off the shift. And I did more than just see the doctor today. I have my kitchen nearly back in order. Further, I did some shopping, including fruits if not yet vegetables. Those are on the menu. A few meats, milk, and kitty food were needed as well. So it is time to begin again.
I have decided to swear off soda. I may still buy a stock of soda, but it will no longer be a daily thing, or multi-daily thing. I will use it much as soda of the more traditional nature should be used, as an occasional treat. Instead I am going to coffee, though not as much as the soda. I am constantly thirsty, probably a symptom of even the low level diabetes. Then again, I was always thirsty long before I had diabetes. I almost wonder if some of the medications they initially had me on, everything from anti-depressants to lithium changed certain things, anatomically. Such as somehow causing thirst? Who knows. If they do, they are not saying.
So, back to good home cooked, whole grain heavy, fruit added, food. I need that. Trying to figure out how to lower my liquid consumption as well, coffee, water, milk. Less in total is the goal. Continuing my setups and pushups. They are not coming along swimmingly, only coming along. I did have to stop for a bit as my gut tightened up and would not release for three days. It was not terribly painful, but it complicated sleep. Then again, that might have been the cornish game hen. I am pretty sure I cooked it done and then some though. I check the joints for blood... no blood... no foul? Heh... Well, at least I enjoy my puns. Well, not really, but it is something.
Bedtime. I will set my alarm though and work diligently to get up. A bit of waking up and then to finish the kitchen. I have some meats out, I need to make beans and rice in my usual batches, an apple and then grapefruit for breakfast I think. Maybe some eggs, as that is a bit raw of protein. I am terribly hungry, have not eaten right in... a while. But for now, bed time. I can dream of beans and rice? Yes, actually, I can. If that is not something you dream of, you have never eaten them the way I make them. Good night.
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And, of course, again. No problem, I am about to go to bed and earlier than the last three nights. I was afraid nights were going to become the norm, but with the medical promises, perhaps I will find a way to fend off the shift. And I did more than just see the doctor today. I have my kitchen nearly back in order. Further, I did some shopping, including fruits if not yet vegetables. Those are on the menu. A few meats, milk, and kitty food were needed as well. So it is time to begin again.
I have decided to swear off soda. I may still buy a stock of soda, but it will no longer be a daily thing, or multi-daily thing. I will use it much as soda of the more traditional nature should be used, as an occasional treat. Instead I am going to coffee, though not as much as the soda. I am constantly thirsty, probably a symptom of even the low level diabetes. Then again, I was always thirsty long before I had diabetes. I almost wonder if some of the medications they initially had me on, everything from anti-depressants to lithium changed certain things, anatomically. Such as somehow causing thirst? Who knows. If they do, they are not saying.
So, back to good home cooked, whole grain heavy, fruit added, food. I need that. Trying to figure out how to lower my liquid consumption as well, coffee, water, milk. Less in total is the goal. Continuing my setups and pushups. They are not coming along swimmingly, only coming along. I did have to stop for a bit as my gut tightened up and would not release for three days. It was not terribly painful, but it complicated sleep. Then again, that might have been the cornish game hen. I am pretty sure I cooked it done and then some though. I check the joints for blood... no blood... no foul? Heh... Well, at least I enjoy my puns. Well, not really, but it is something.
Bedtime. I will set my alarm though and work diligently to get up. A bit of waking up and then to finish the kitchen. I have some meats out, I need to make beans and rice in my usual batches, an apple and then grapefruit for breakfast I think. Maybe some eggs, as that is a bit raw of protein. I am terribly hungry, have not eaten right in... a while. But for now, bed time. I can dream of beans and rice? Yes, actually, I can. If that is not something you dream of, you have never eaten them the way I make them. Good night.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
To the doctor I went.
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Today was the day to visit the Renal Clinic. I was afraid I would miss it. Nope, I put myself in order, arranged things as I could so that I could be awake and aware and on time. Further, I called to see if they wanted blood work. Sure enough, and they wished for me to do that an hour before the actual appointment. Well, all right. Done. I am driving a little slower, not out of need just to limit frustration. It mostly works. But with so many cell phones on the roads these days, and texting which I did see at least once today, on a 75 mph interstate I might add, trying to drive a steady pace is not really possible.
At the office, the doctor suggested my problem with blood pressure might be one of three things. Two were eliminated, after looking through the records. The last is a longshot. An even larger longshot is, if it is that last, then there is a chance surgery could fix that. The test that would suggest that takes longer and was not yet up. That is on the physical side. There is also a possibility that my traumas have lead to this.
She asked if I was interested in taking medication. I said no, but told her to shoot the recommendation. I had not heard of this particular medication, so I said I would try it. I also explained that most of these medicines totally wipe me out. She had answers for everything, but they always do. I told her and will tell you, I will give it another shot, let them poke, prod, and medicate, up to my ability to tolerate. Then we have to figure something else out if that does not work. Trust is earned, we will see if she can earn it. As well, I agreed to a consult to psychiatry. That, I believe, is all too much hooey. Still, I will go in and see if there is a plan I could abide and a therapist I can stomach. She suggested that some people who go through even one of the minor things I mentioned might have a problem with it that causes and maintains high blood pressure. I do know I am stuck on full throttle, even when I am not moving, down under the skin. I am always hot, always live, and always ready. Even if I do not know it consciously. That is why my stomach is still tight, and other forms of strengths remain to me. I have a consult before the end of the year and another appointment with renal shortly after the new year. Oh, and I stopped by and set my eye appointments up again, they got lost in the mail somewhere in one of my moves. I still need to get dental going, maybe next time. It is in another building and I was done today when I finished the clinic.
We will see. I do not wish, in particular, to die. At least if something can be done to help me back to function. Even a few more horsepower would be good. I doubt, seriously doubt. I cannot just give up either. So, that is the way of it. Oh, I lost a few more pounds they said. I lost a lot when I moved here and keep losing according to them. No, not trying. A little more active, eating better foods (usually), and just the climate? elevation? Whatever. I have lost a lot more than pounds though. My shoulders are too broad for a simple large and tall shirt, but my extra large and tall shirts just billow. Ah well, I like long shirttails.
Have a good day. If you want, pray a little prayer that this time works. I do not mind dying, but if I can become useful, or even more functional, that would be inefficient. Or, something like that.
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Today was the day to visit the Renal Clinic. I was afraid I would miss it. Nope, I put myself in order, arranged things as I could so that I could be awake and aware and on time. Further, I called to see if they wanted blood work. Sure enough, and they wished for me to do that an hour before the actual appointment. Well, all right. Done. I am driving a little slower, not out of need just to limit frustration. It mostly works. But with so many cell phones on the roads these days, and texting which I did see at least once today, on a 75 mph interstate I might add, trying to drive a steady pace is not really possible.
At the office, the doctor suggested my problem with blood pressure might be one of three things. Two were eliminated, after looking through the records. The last is a longshot. An even larger longshot is, if it is that last, then there is a chance surgery could fix that. The test that would suggest that takes longer and was not yet up. That is on the physical side. There is also a possibility that my traumas have lead to this.
She asked if I was interested in taking medication. I said no, but told her to shoot the recommendation. I had not heard of this particular medication, so I said I would try it. I also explained that most of these medicines totally wipe me out. She had answers for everything, but they always do. I told her and will tell you, I will give it another shot, let them poke, prod, and medicate, up to my ability to tolerate. Then we have to figure something else out if that does not work. Trust is earned, we will see if she can earn it. As well, I agreed to a consult to psychiatry. That, I believe, is all too much hooey. Still, I will go in and see if there is a plan I could abide and a therapist I can stomach. She suggested that some people who go through even one of the minor things I mentioned might have a problem with it that causes and maintains high blood pressure. I do know I am stuck on full throttle, even when I am not moving, down under the skin. I am always hot, always live, and always ready. Even if I do not know it consciously. That is why my stomach is still tight, and other forms of strengths remain to me. I have a consult before the end of the year and another appointment with renal shortly after the new year. Oh, and I stopped by and set my eye appointments up again, they got lost in the mail somewhere in one of my moves. I still need to get dental going, maybe next time. It is in another building and I was done today when I finished the clinic.
We will see. I do not wish, in particular, to die. At least if something can be done to help me back to function. Even a few more horsepower would be good. I doubt, seriously doubt. I cannot just give up either. So, that is the way of it. Oh, I lost a few more pounds they said. I lost a lot when I moved here and keep losing according to them. No, not trying. A little more active, eating better foods (usually), and just the climate? elevation? Whatever. I have lost a lot more than pounds though. My shoulders are too broad for a simple large and tall shirt, but my extra large and tall shirts just billow. Ah well, I like long shirttails.
Have a good day. If you want, pray a little prayer that this time works. I do not mind dying, but if I can become useful, or even more functional, that would be inefficient. Or, something like that.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
To keep my mind off things...
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I got busy. Not in the real world, as that seems problematic at best. What I did do was to become very involved with my game. If you play World of Warcraft, you will know what I mean. I had three twentieth level characters I use to store "stuff" the others collect. I moved those on up to fourtieth level. I had two level forty toons (another term for character) which I moved to sixtieth level, I moved a fifty fifth level toon to seventieth level, and finally I had two seventy level toons I moved to the high seventieth levels. I added a few levels to my main (main character, highest level or favored to play, in this case both), but mostly left that toon to rest. When rested, they get more experience while playing, thus level faster. All that in the last week and a half or so. As well, I leveled their professions as much as possible.
Busy, yes. My home needs some tlc, Sam and Sassy are getting a bit snotty, and until I took a shower yesterday for the first time in... well, let us just say I was ripe for the bone harvester. Or, I smelled like it. On the up side, I did not think too much about a solo Christmas. Actually, I can become a bit melancholy whether alone or in good or other company. For the most part, this year, I survived unscathed. And, my game world is in top order. It takes quite a bit to organize ten toons, level them, get them trained, get them equipment and mounts, keep their professions up, and have it run rather seamlessly. Then again, I can only do that for short periods of time. I am about done with the game world. Although, with all the flying costs, I am down to 10k and change, give or take. I have not mastered the art of filthy game lucre.
I will still play, still level this or that toon, but I will not be playing nearly non-stop. I have to, now, find other things. Like setting up the reloading station and then putting the equipment together, on it, then using it. And, as I said, the cave could use a bit of spit and shine. A bit of the social would be good too, but with little money, that always feels odd. What if someone wants to not just sit there, but do something? Anyway... I did what had to be done. Then again, I am still a bit broke. It might take a month or two for me to catch up. So be it. I might just have to dig into the game for a while. It IS cheap entertainment, it IS far superior to television, and it seems to work.
Well, later.
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I got busy. Not in the real world, as that seems problematic at best. What I did do was to become very involved with my game. If you play World of Warcraft, you will know what I mean. I had three twentieth level characters I use to store "stuff" the others collect. I moved those on up to fourtieth level. I had two level forty toons (another term for character) which I moved to sixtieth level, I moved a fifty fifth level toon to seventieth level, and finally I had two seventy level toons I moved to the high seventieth levels. I added a few levels to my main (main character, highest level or favored to play, in this case both), but mostly left that toon to rest. When rested, they get more experience while playing, thus level faster. All that in the last week and a half or so. As well, I leveled their professions as much as possible.
Busy, yes. My home needs some tlc, Sam and Sassy are getting a bit snotty, and until I took a shower yesterday for the first time in... well, let us just say I was ripe for the bone harvester. Or, I smelled like it. On the up side, I did not think too much about a solo Christmas. Actually, I can become a bit melancholy whether alone or in good or other company. For the most part, this year, I survived unscathed. And, my game world is in top order. It takes quite a bit to organize ten toons, level them, get them trained, get them equipment and mounts, keep their professions up, and have it run rather seamlessly. Then again, I can only do that for short periods of time. I am about done with the game world. Although, with all the flying costs, I am down to 10k and change, give or take. I have not mastered the art of filthy game lucre.
I will still play, still level this or that toon, but I will not be playing nearly non-stop. I have to, now, find other things. Like setting up the reloading station and then putting the equipment together, on it, then using it. And, as I said, the cave could use a bit of spit and shine. A bit of the social would be good too, but with little money, that always feels odd. What if someone wants to not just sit there, but do something? Anyway... I did what had to be done. Then again, I am still a bit broke. It might take a month or two for me to catch up. So be it. I might just have to dig into the game for a while. It IS cheap entertainment, it IS far superior to television, and it seems to work.
Well, later.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Merry Christmas!
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I hope, in spite of all the ups and downs that come with Christmas (artificially imposed, I might add), that you are finding nice, good, and great moments in your own way, with family and friends, or wherever you are and whomever you happen to be with, or not.
I know that Christmas, with all the hubbub, can be an uncomfortable time. For me, when I was closer to home, being asked to go to this and that, having to be so and where at such a time, sometimes knowing few of the people in wherever I went, and of course never knowing just quite what the customs might be, often left me a bit overwhelmed. Still, as always, I found a way to enjoy myself. I do and do not miss that. Then again, I already had my Christmas company and that did work out well. Still, being alone on Christmas can be hard too. In the Navy, we were alone but together. Here and now, it is Sam, Sassy, and me. Then again, they do not mind shorts, no turkey, and waking up at 10:00 or such.
Just wanted to wish all a Merry Christmas in any case. I am curious about what people are eating, anything special? They say an army crawls on it's stomach. I find that to be true for me as well, and more. My curiosity crawls on my stomach. Or, is it the other way around? I will never figure all of these things out! So, tell me about your food. Hmm, a food therapist? Be one or need one. Now, look at the plate of spinach, what food does it make you think of? *grins*
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I hope, in spite of all the ups and downs that come with Christmas (artificially imposed, I might add), that you are finding nice, good, and great moments in your own way, with family and friends, or wherever you are and whomever you happen to be with, or not.
I know that Christmas, with all the hubbub, can be an uncomfortable time. For me, when I was closer to home, being asked to go to this and that, having to be so and where at such a time, sometimes knowing few of the people in wherever I went, and of course never knowing just quite what the customs might be, often left me a bit overwhelmed. Still, as always, I found a way to enjoy myself. I do and do not miss that. Then again, I already had my Christmas company and that did work out well. Still, being alone on Christmas can be hard too. In the Navy, we were alone but together. Here and now, it is Sam, Sassy, and me. Then again, they do not mind shorts, no turkey, and waking up at 10:00 or such.
Just wanted to wish all a Merry Christmas in any case. I am curious about what people are eating, anything special? They say an army crawls on it's stomach. I find that to be true for me as well, and more. My curiosity crawls on my stomach. Or, is it the other way around? I will never figure all of these things out! So, tell me about your food. Hmm, a food therapist? Be one or need one. Now, look at the plate of spinach, what food does it make you think of? *grins*
Monday, December 20, 2010
A meal served, a bit of prep before that, and some rest after.
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I simply could not seem to get motivated to clean the kitchen, straighten my home, and get ready for the meal. Finally, the night before, I was able to start. It was slow going. There was not a lot of work, mind you, it was just... I simply could not stay focused and on track to finishing it. I started late, as is my want, and did not finish cleaning until 6:00. I was supposed to pick them up at 14:00 or 15:00! Ack, so I slept. I did not receive a call, so I was worried. Finally, at about 19:00, my friend called. I was a bit nervous, but took the call. I was expecting him to be angry at me for not having called him.
Nope. All he had to say was, "Are you ready for supper tomorrow night?". Tomorrow, I asked? Yes, today is Saturday, you had suggested we have supper on Sunday. Ah, super, then... YES! I am quite ready. The meat is thawed, he asked? Of course. I asked if his friend was to be in attendance. It seems not. His friend was off to see his ex-wife. That puzzled me, but later I learned he is trying to reconcile. I am pleased to see him trying so the loss of new company was a pleasant one. And so it was, dinner on Sunday.
The meat was a bit overdone. According to my recipe books, pork should have taken a certain amount of time. And, with the elevation, it should have taken even longer, about 10%. Either I figured something wrong or the bone made it cook faster or something else is just screwy (which it is, not all higher elevation cooking takes longer, here, oddly) the meat cooked a good thirty percent faster than what the recipe called for it to cook. Ah, maybe they are discussing pork, which was far fatter, from the olden days? Anyway, it was still quite good. The gravy was fantastic. And the potatoes were perfect. I did not add the turnips to cook as the meat was done and then some by the time I had planned to add them. Then again, my friend wanted to watch the end of Master and Commander, which made it so that I had to put the meat in the oven on low for a while. That did not help. Still, it was a good night.
I have been resting since. I am still keeping a day schedule, other than that lapse when I stayed up so late. That may bounce around and throw me off, we will see. But I am fighting for days. Well, that is that. Be well and good night.
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I simply could not seem to get motivated to clean the kitchen, straighten my home, and get ready for the meal. Finally, the night before, I was able to start. It was slow going. There was not a lot of work, mind you, it was just... I simply could not stay focused and on track to finishing it. I started late, as is my want, and did not finish cleaning until 6:00. I was supposed to pick them up at 14:00 or 15:00! Ack, so I slept. I did not receive a call, so I was worried. Finally, at about 19:00, my friend called. I was a bit nervous, but took the call. I was expecting him to be angry at me for not having called him.
Nope. All he had to say was, "Are you ready for supper tomorrow night?". Tomorrow, I asked? Yes, today is Saturday, you had suggested we have supper on Sunday. Ah, super, then... YES! I am quite ready. The meat is thawed, he asked? Of course. I asked if his friend was to be in attendance. It seems not. His friend was off to see his ex-wife. That puzzled me, but later I learned he is trying to reconcile. I am pleased to see him trying so the loss of new company was a pleasant one. And so it was, dinner on Sunday.
The meat was a bit overdone. According to my recipe books, pork should have taken a certain amount of time. And, with the elevation, it should have taken even longer, about 10%. Either I figured something wrong or the bone made it cook faster or something else is just screwy (which it is, not all higher elevation cooking takes longer, here, oddly) the meat cooked a good thirty percent faster than what the recipe called for it to cook. Ah, maybe they are discussing pork, which was far fatter, from the olden days? Anyway, it was still quite good. The gravy was fantastic. And the potatoes were perfect. I did not add the turnips to cook as the meat was done and then some by the time I had planned to add them. Then again, my friend wanted to watch the end of Master and Commander, which made it so that I had to put the meat in the oven on low for a while. That did not help. Still, it was a good night.
I have been resting since. I am still keeping a day schedule, other than that lapse when I stayed up so late. That may bounce around and throw me off, we will see. But I am fighting for days. Well, that is that. Be well and good night.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
A long day.
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Up at 7:00, give or take. It was a slow morning, or slower than usual. A little less than the usual less than qualifier could somehow be administered to the morning, if you follow my thought. And yet it all worked. Not ready today as yesterday, I did not arrive at my friend's place until nearly 14:00. A bit of food and a movie, "300". He had not seen it before. He did enjoy it, though he could not hear it well. Beside some of the British type accents, he keeps his volume down so as to not disturb the neighbors. If it was every day, I could understand, but once in a while I do not think they would mind. Still, his place, his choice.
I invited my friend to dinner Sunday. If nothing else, this is reason to get my kitchen squared away and keep my home kempt. As I was driving home, I remembered I had long ago suggested he invite his friend, a man I have not met, to dine with us. Though I warned him to advise his friend that they will be here the whole time the meal is cooking, but that there will be movies to watch. There is something about sharing food and company that pleases me. I think my friend will enjoy the time better with someone who is not busy cooking to keep him company. And I think I can make it so that he can hear the shows here.
Earlier, around noon, I called my mother. She is home from her visit to my brother. She is thinking about the future. Whether she was a good mother could be argued, but that her only two sons both invite her in says something. She has people where she is who depend on her greatly, for company, for her work, and for her time. In particular an elderly woman who is blind from diabetes, is on three times a week dialysis, and would otherwise not be attended properly. This woman also happens to have been a dear friend of my mothers long before she fell so low. As well, I know my mother's boyfriend plays on her mind. Though they will never marry, and I doubt if my mother will again in any case, it is more than just a contrivance or convenience. So until these things find their way to something other than the way they are now, she is where she will be.
I am glad to know she has a place, there, where she is needed and wanted. I am also pleased to know she has choices beyond that. I worry, as she ages, as does any child of an aging parent. She has time to consider the options, and I think she is considering splitting her time between here and what my brother is offering. It is certainly warmer there in the winter. I think, in the end, it will come down to the weather and where she feels most comfortable. She fears both, and with good reason. She cannot craft me and I will not budge, if too I do not push on most issues. When near my brother, she would have her own place. But that would be a bit lonely. It is difficult to make new friends at any age, but when mobility becomes an issue, that is compounded. Choices... We all face them. At least she has earned the right to make them, with both of her boys offering what we can and a world there where she is that still needs her.
I did start doing pushups and setups. I will leave off the details, mostly because they are embarrassing. I thought I would be able to get three sessions in a day and be able to do many each time. I was deluded. So I will start where I did and go on from there. No doubt, I still have some serious aspects of strength. A frigid, non-direct type. My grip strength, for whatever reason, is amazing. My stomach can take a punch that would kill most men. And I do angles with my lank like a tactician. Beyond that and I am done. I hope this brings change. One thing I will do, though, tomorrow and from then on, is do as many setups as I can at once. I tried to save off for later, but later was impossible. Pushups the same, though I can do those later. At least for now. When I am better off I will begin trying sets of setups later as well. *sigh*
Good night. Sleep well. Dream good dreams. And remember to send your love to someone else, even if in thought, before you rest your weary bones.
.
Up at 7:00, give or take. It was a slow morning, or slower than usual. A little less than the usual less than qualifier could somehow be administered to the morning, if you follow my thought. And yet it all worked. Not ready today as yesterday, I did not arrive at my friend's place until nearly 14:00. A bit of food and a movie, "300". He had not seen it before. He did enjoy it, though he could not hear it well. Beside some of the British type accents, he keeps his volume down so as to not disturb the neighbors. If it was every day, I could understand, but once in a while I do not think they would mind. Still, his place, his choice.
I invited my friend to dinner Sunday. If nothing else, this is reason to get my kitchen squared away and keep my home kempt. As I was driving home, I remembered I had long ago suggested he invite his friend, a man I have not met, to dine with us. Though I warned him to advise his friend that they will be here the whole time the meal is cooking, but that there will be movies to watch. There is something about sharing food and company that pleases me. I think my friend will enjoy the time better with someone who is not busy cooking to keep him company. And I think I can make it so that he can hear the shows here.
Earlier, around noon, I called my mother. She is home from her visit to my brother. She is thinking about the future. Whether she was a good mother could be argued, but that her only two sons both invite her in says something. She has people where she is who depend on her greatly, for company, for her work, and for her time. In particular an elderly woman who is blind from diabetes, is on three times a week dialysis, and would otherwise not be attended properly. This woman also happens to have been a dear friend of my mothers long before she fell so low. As well, I know my mother's boyfriend plays on her mind. Though they will never marry, and I doubt if my mother will again in any case, it is more than just a contrivance or convenience. So until these things find their way to something other than the way they are now, she is where she will be.
I am glad to know she has a place, there, where she is needed and wanted. I am also pleased to know she has choices beyond that. I worry, as she ages, as does any child of an aging parent. She has time to consider the options, and I think she is considering splitting her time between here and what my brother is offering. It is certainly warmer there in the winter. I think, in the end, it will come down to the weather and where she feels most comfortable. She fears both, and with good reason. She cannot craft me and I will not budge, if too I do not push on most issues. When near my brother, she would have her own place. But that would be a bit lonely. It is difficult to make new friends at any age, but when mobility becomes an issue, that is compounded. Choices... We all face them. At least she has earned the right to make them, with both of her boys offering what we can and a world there where she is that still needs her.
I did start doing pushups and setups. I will leave off the details, mostly because they are embarrassing. I thought I would be able to get three sessions in a day and be able to do many each time. I was deluded. So I will start where I did and go on from there. No doubt, I still have some serious aspects of strength. A frigid, non-direct type. My grip strength, for whatever reason, is amazing. My stomach can take a punch that would kill most men. And I do angles with my lank like a tactician. Beyond that and I am done. I hope this brings change. One thing I will do, though, tomorrow and from then on, is do as many setups as I can at once. I tried to save off for later, but later was impossible. Pushups the same, though I can do those later. At least for now. When I am better off I will begin trying sets of setups later as well. *sigh*
Good night. Sleep well. Dream good dreams. And remember to send your love to someone else, even if in thought, before you rest your weary bones.
For all the griping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth...
.
.
I actually think, to date, America is still whole and functioning, mostly. Read the news, pundits from both sides, and lamentations that America is "over" as a country... any generation we have existed. Oh, some people hope for it and always have and some people see it and it has not been true. We have gone through seriouser shit, to put it colloquially, a hundred times or more. FDR was more socialist, perhaps even directly communist, the Democrat party has been socialist since before even him I think, the powers have been garnered too heavily by one of the three federal sources of it from time to time, we have seen wars and heard rumors of war many times and even against ourselves, these are not new.
Sure, I would like to see a better balance and a more purely conservative bent to the government. Yes, I would love to see an end to politically correct choices of politicians. Of course, I would like to see an end to legal genocide. The list goes on, and will until I die even if I got my current wishlist filled. But this nation and how it works is not yet compromised. Though I will suggest that when that happens, and it will someday, we will not actually know it for some time. The people may not realize it for a hundred years, at least the meek among us. Though I suspect some will know far sooner than others. And I do see that we are on the brink. I hope we turn that corner, again, and return to the original experiment, abandoning the last half to three quarters of a century of failed even more progressive (on into regressive) policies and ways.
If we continue this original experiment, I do believe America might be more than just a fluke. Though I do not buy the going theories on evolution, I do believe there are forms of evolution. Some of those forms have nothing to do with physical characteristics but move on into the social, economic, and governmental. Until a basis of tenable sharing of power exists between the people as individuals and as a whole in parts and overall, occurs in a sustainable fashion, man cannot go forward. This nation, even in the current wounded state, is the best reasonable short term potential for that. All other governmental platforms for advancement are centuries, perhaps millenia away. Men may not have millenia, the earth could simply cease to exist at any moment from one of a thousand events, manmade or God devised. And, of course, this is a secular notion. If, and I do admit that, both God and men play a role in what will be, if too only God knows and what God has set in motion will trump the rest.
Just... some thoughts. The End is near! The End is... far? Could be. As Christ said, keep your socks packed and be ready. Just, do not worry about it. Individually or in sum total, it will happen eventually. Good (dooms) day!*
*Not my birthday
.
I actually think, to date, America is still whole and functioning, mostly. Read the news, pundits from both sides, and lamentations that America is "over" as a country... any generation we have existed. Oh, some people hope for it and always have and some people see it and it has not been true. We have gone through seriouser shit, to put it colloquially, a hundred times or more. FDR was more socialist, perhaps even directly communist, the Democrat party has been socialist since before even him I think, the powers have been garnered too heavily by one of the three federal sources of it from time to time, we have seen wars and heard rumors of war many times and even against ourselves, these are not new.
Sure, I would like to see a better balance and a more purely conservative bent to the government. Yes, I would love to see an end to politically correct choices of politicians. Of course, I would like to see an end to legal genocide. The list goes on, and will until I die even if I got my current wishlist filled. But this nation and how it works is not yet compromised. Though I will suggest that when that happens, and it will someday, we will not actually know it for some time. The people may not realize it for a hundred years, at least the meek among us. Though I suspect some will know far sooner than others. And I do see that we are on the brink. I hope we turn that corner, again, and return to the original experiment, abandoning the last half to three quarters of a century of failed even more progressive (on into regressive) policies and ways.
If we continue this original experiment, I do believe America might be more than just a fluke. Though I do not buy the going theories on evolution, I do believe there are forms of evolution. Some of those forms have nothing to do with physical characteristics but move on into the social, economic, and governmental. Until a basis of tenable sharing of power exists between the people as individuals and as a whole in parts and overall, occurs in a sustainable fashion, man cannot go forward. This nation, even in the current wounded state, is the best reasonable short term potential for that. All other governmental platforms for advancement are centuries, perhaps millenia away. Men may not have millenia, the earth could simply cease to exist at any moment from one of a thousand events, manmade or God devised. And, of course, this is a secular notion. If, and I do admit that, both God and men play a role in what will be, if too only God knows and what God has set in motion will trump the rest.
Just... some thoughts. The End is near! The End is... far? Could be. As Christ said, keep your socks packed and be ready. Just, do not worry about it. Individually or in sum total, it will happen eventually. Good (dooms) day!*
*Not my birthday
Goody Goody
.
.
Awake earlier this morning. It is not too tight if sleep was short, at least at this time. I actually think I might make it back to a 6:00 wakeup. I feel something might have changed. Then again, the double amputee often feels he really could walk because he senses things below the cutoff points. It's more difficult, some days, to know for sure because I still have my legs, I simply lose the connection with the resources in my mind that allow most folks to simply function. Though I do not land flat on my face when trying, I often end up flat on my back. But... not today.
Sassy, for whatever reason, is sometimes a major pain in the mornings, among other places:) She wants me to be up and moving. It might be food, but not always. She had food left in her bowl from last night and did not even drink the bit of milk I put out for her. No, she just thought the big lug would be fun to terrorize. I still sometimes think I am just a giant mouse to them. I am at least an amusement for these high ladies of feline fashion, crime, and intrigue. With Sam, I just have to say "No!" sometimes, Sassy is easy (unless I am asleep). A wadded piece of paper, held aloft just long enough to get her attention then thrown, and her attention span is finished. She does not have BAMM (blond at any moment) Syndrome, she has more like BODS (blond on demand syndrome). Well, maybe she has a bit of both. I do not care what you think about blond jokes, have you met one? Seriously? Chipper indeed. I hear it might actually have to do with the flood of melatonin caused by the percentage increase of light brought to the eyes by the hair reflecting it to them rather than absorbing the light. Just in case you thought it was just a fiction... it has been studied, for what that is worth.
It is time to begin waking, and tinkering, touring the intertubz, news nodes, and such. I will be heading to town, again, around noon or 13:00 or whenever. What movie to take though? I do not want to rent. I will be thinking on it. Good day.
.
Awake earlier this morning. It is not too tight if sleep was short, at least at this time. I actually think I might make it back to a 6:00 wakeup. I feel something might have changed. Then again, the double amputee often feels he really could walk because he senses things below the cutoff points. It's more difficult, some days, to know for sure because I still have my legs, I simply lose the connection with the resources in my mind that allow most folks to simply function. Though I do not land flat on my face when trying, I often end up flat on my back. But... not today.
Sassy, for whatever reason, is sometimes a major pain in the mornings, among other places:) She wants me to be up and moving. It might be food, but not always. She had food left in her bowl from last night and did not even drink the bit of milk I put out for her. No, she just thought the big lug would be fun to terrorize. I still sometimes think I am just a giant mouse to them. I am at least an amusement for these high ladies of feline fashion, crime, and intrigue. With Sam, I just have to say "No!" sometimes, Sassy is easy (unless I am asleep). A wadded piece of paper, held aloft just long enough to get her attention then thrown, and her attention span is finished. She does not have BAMM (blond at any moment) Syndrome, she has more like BODS (blond on demand syndrome). Well, maybe she has a bit of both. I do not care what you think about blond jokes, have you met one? Seriously? Chipper indeed. I hear it might actually have to do with the flood of melatonin caused by the percentage increase of light brought to the eyes by the hair reflecting it to them rather than absorbing the light. Just in case you thought it was just a fiction... it has been studied, for what that is worth.
It is time to begin waking, and tinkering, touring the intertubz, news nodes, and such. I will be heading to town, again, around noon or 13:00 or whenever. What movie to take though? I do not want to rent. I will be thinking on it. Good day.
Up late, again, again? Yep.
.
.
I was up and at it fairly reasonably this morning, and I did wake up, and I was ready before I had thought I would be. I called my friend at 12:30, ready to go. No answer. I did not want to go in and not be able to find him, so I kept tinkering. At 13:30 I called again. No answer, so I waited. At 15:00 I called again, and... no answer. So, I drove into town and knocked on his door. No answer. I suspected, that with as many appointments as he had today, one of the doctors saw a problem and put the fixing on him. Sure enough that is precisely what happened. He needed two more units of blood (along with two units of saline). Further, he has to go back in Friday for two more units (of each).
When he called, we talked a bit. I offered to come back in but he was pretty worn out. That process is mind dulling, I was in with him when they put in four units (of each). Plus, I think it wears him out beyond just the drag of the thing. New blood, and volume, does things. I suggested I visit tomorrow afternoon, a thing he thought would be swell. I will take a movie in. As well, I suggested I pick him up for Sunday dinner, pork roast, but cooked the old fashioned way. He thought that sounded great, if he does not like the idea of being here the whole time it takes to cook. Still, Sunday dinner is on.
How am I able to plan things with him and not make other appointments? The main thing is, he does not mind too terribly if I am one to three hours late. At the outer edges, he can become a bit testy. And, if I call and cancel, at least if it is timely (within that time frame), he is okay with it. That last makes him not so much testy as disappointed. It is easier to deal with people's anger than their disappointment, but sometimes I have no option.
I need to get to bed. So good night, sleep well. May the sands of time not dull the joys you knew in your youth. Remember them tonight. Want to meet at the old pond only kids could love in our dreams? Bring your dog, I will bring mine, and the other kids from my block. Someone's mom will make a picnic for after the swim! See ya there.
.
I was up and at it fairly reasonably this morning, and I did wake up, and I was ready before I had thought I would be. I called my friend at 12:30, ready to go. No answer. I did not want to go in and not be able to find him, so I kept tinkering. At 13:30 I called again. No answer, so I waited. At 15:00 I called again, and... no answer. So, I drove into town and knocked on his door. No answer. I suspected, that with as many appointments as he had today, one of the doctors saw a problem and put the fixing on him. Sure enough that is precisely what happened. He needed two more units of blood (along with two units of saline). Further, he has to go back in Friday for two more units (of each).
When he called, we talked a bit. I offered to come back in but he was pretty worn out. That process is mind dulling, I was in with him when they put in four units (of each). Plus, I think it wears him out beyond just the drag of the thing. New blood, and volume, does things. I suggested I visit tomorrow afternoon, a thing he thought would be swell. I will take a movie in. As well, I suggested I pick him up for Sunday dinner, pork roast, but cooked the old fashioned way. He thought that sounded great, if he does not like the idea of being here the whole time it takes to cook. Still, Sunday dinner is on.
How am I able to plan things with him and not make other appointments? The main thing is, he does not mind too terribly if I am one to three hours late. At the outer edges, he can become a bit testy. And, if I call and cancel, at least if it is timely (within that time frame), he is okay with it. That last makes him not so much testy as disappointed. It is easier to deal with people's anger than their disappointment, but sometimes I have no option.
I need to get to bed. So good night, sleep well. May the sands of time not dull the joys you knew in your youth. Remember them tonight. Want to meet at the old pond only kids could love in our dreams? Bring your dog, I will bring mine, and the other kids from my block. Someone's mom will make a picnic for after the swim! See ya there.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Up late, again.
.
.
Bah, I need to get to bed earlier. I get caught up in the "just one... more... thing..."'ism. It makes getting up early tough, impossible to be up at 6:00 though I might make it by 8:00. Still, though I did little today, I have made plans to visit my friend tomorrow, so I have a reason to be up, showered, and about. Actually, beyond just getting out, for me to feel right and ready, I need to do some waking up. That requires some nettime, and that gives me incentive to get up and get what I can get done in the game before I need to head out. Like a little train, the engine moves, then the next car, and so on. Finally, I get my caboose in gear. Well, mostly. My friend is used to me being anywhere from one to three hours 'later than advertised'.
It seems he had eye surgery today, cataracts, the first of two planned surgeries as they do not do both eyes at once. Some sort of failsafe type deal, so people are sure to have two bad eyes at once, if not of the same varietal? Meh, I just like picking on doctors and this is just another opportunity. Anyway, since he is already running about tomorrow, with two early appointments and another run to another doctor for prescription fills, I suggested I just bring a McDonalds lunch and we call it even. And I suspect we will be having another roast soon, though this one will be done the old fashioned slow cooked way. I also asked if he would ask his sister if her son was successful hunting this year. If he got an elk, perhaps they have extra. She had once offered and I never took her up on the deal. Then again, I have been moving and settling so doing anything extra is just that. I will have to consider some kind of gift in return, of course. I may be a beggar and a lech, but... not really.
Anywhile, it is bedtime. Sleep is always sweet when I push it just a bit. It is the waking up that is a pain. Oh, the candle has being burned, rightly I believe, and I have been praying both when light and when putting out the twelve days of Christmas candle. I am not able to do much more, I am a bit confused. I hope it is pleasing to Whom it may matter. Simple thanks given in prayer form. Again, good night.
.
Bah, I need to get to bed earlier. I get caught up in the "just one... more... thing..."'ism. It makes getting up early tough, impossible to be up at 6:00 though I might make it by 8:00. Still, though I did little today, I have made plans to visit my friend tomorrow, so I have a reason to be up, showered, and about. Actually, beyond just getting out, for me to feel right and ready, I need to do some waking up. That requires some nettime, and that gives me incentive to get up and get what I can get done in the game before I need to head out. Like a little train, the engine moves, then the next car, and so on. Finally, I get my caboose in gear. Well, mostly. My friend is used to me being anywhere from one to three hours 'later than advertised'.
It seems he had eye surgery today, cataracts, the first of two planned surgeries as they do not do both eyes at once. Some sort of failsafe type deal, so people are sure to have two bad eyes at once, if not of the same varietal? Meh, I just like picking on doctors and this is just another opportunity. Anyway, since he is already running about tomorrow, with two early appointments and another run to another doctor for prescription fills, I suggested I just bring a McDonalds lunch and we call it even. And I suspect we will be having another roast soon, though this one will be done the old fashioned slow cooked way. I also asked if he would ask his sister if her son was successful hunting this year. If he got an elk, perhaps they have extra. She had once offered and I never took her up on the deal. Then again, I have been moving and settling so doing anything extra is just that. I will have to consider some kind of gift in return, of course. I may be a beggar and a lech, but... not really.
Anywhile, it is bedtime. Sleep is always sweet when I push it just a bit. It is the waking up that is a pain. Oh, the candle has being burned, rightly I believe, and I have been praying both when light and when putting out the twelve days of Christmas candle. I am not able to do much more, I am a bit confused. I hope it is pleasing to Whom it may matter. Simple thanks given in prayer form. Again, good night.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Plans.
.
.
One of them I will share. While I am out of the running, in many ways, for much of life, I would like to improve some areas. Just staying awake during the day, on a regular schedule, paying bills, and keeping fed, clean, and ahead of dishes and other such is about it, I would like to begin a new little thing that might end up being what I need for when I need it.
While playing my computer game, two to three times a day I need to have a sub-program run which reads the auction house happenings, which leaves me waiting for eight to fifteen minutes. Now, rather than waste that time, or slow it down and try to do other things either online or in game and kill the fun of whatever else I might be trying to do, I have decided that would be a good time to begin doing setups and pushups. I will not get many done in that time, though as I improve, I can both do them faster and extend the time a bit. These are exercises which simply cannot really be overdone. Just something to add to the otherwise nothing of my current exercise regimen. It might see me in better shape when the time for getting out arrives again.
Oh, such little things. But it is what I have to work with. I will let you know, in time, how it works out. I just thought that if I shared one little possibility scratched from my ether world of seeming nothingness in the hopes of becoming more, even while I am not always sure I really exist or am alive... it might lead to others seeing where they might scratch out a little nothing time to try something. Little hopes which go forward and succeed, I think, are often greater than the greatest and failed aspirations. Right now, of course, all this is is a hope, and a little one at that. But it is better than my plans to dig a well, create a cistern, add solar energy as a primary source of energy, and get married and have children. Great all, but unlikely. This one might make it, sooner rather than a dubious later.
Good day.
.
One of them I will share. While I am out of the running, in many ways, for much of life, I would like to improve some areas. Just staying awake during the day, on a regular schedule, paying bills, and keeping fed, clean, and ahead of dishes and other such is about it, I would like to begin a new little thing that might end up being what I need for when I need it.
While playing my computer game, two to three times a day I need to have a sub-program run which reads the auction house happenings, which leaves me waiting for eight to fifteen minutes. Now, rather than waste that time, or slow it down and try to do other things either online or in game and kill the fun of whatever else I might be trying to do, I have decided that would be a good time to begin doing setups and pushups. I will not get many done in that time, though as I improve, I can both do them faster and extend the time a bit. These are exercises which simply cannot really be overdone. Just something to add to the otherwise nothing of my current exercise regimen. It might see me in better shape when the time for getting out arrives again.
Oh, such little things. But it is what I have to work with. I will let you know, in time, how it works out. I just thought that if I shared one little possibility scratched from my ether world of seeming nothingness in the hopes of becoming more, even while I am not always sure I really exist or am alive... it might lead to others seeing where they might scratch out a little nothing time to try something. Little hopes which go forward and succeed, I think, are often greater than the greatest and failed aspirations. Right now, of course, all this is is a hope, and a little one at that. But it is better than my plans to dig a well, create a cistern, add solar energy as a primary source of energy, and get married and have children. Great all, but unlikely. This one might make it, sooner rather than a dubious later.
Good day.
Today is the day!
.
.
Well, not a good thing if you remember a certain joke of which the title is a punchline, though for a different reason than in the joke. Never... mind... It was not that bad of a joke, it is not out of sorts, and all, but... I will leave it to my and maybe your memory in any case. Same with the juxtaposed conditional humor interplayed between the joke and the fact of the matter about today. I will just say that today is the day my game updates, so is unplayable until well into the afternoon. Bah! Laugh, damn you!
The weather here has been fine, fantastic actually, after a set of storms and a dark beginning of winter which seemed to portent weather mayhem. Most of the snow, down here in the valleys, is gone. The mountains, though, I assure you, are still snowed in and handsomely in the mountain snow way. I have not been watching the weather as, to me, it means nothing. I was amazed to have a week of fantastic weather while my lady friend visited, and I continue to be amazed. Then again, as I remember things, winters here are rather nice compared to Iowa. The sun does shine here, and often. Only the elevation keeps the snow around I think? Or is it the elevation that keeps it mild? Or is it that I am in a valley and surrounded by mountains, or the lack of moisture? Who knows, but I am keen on the winters hereabouts. I think these people, many who think winters here to be foul, would be horrified by Iowa winters. Let it be, I know, and that is good enough.
Sassy is coming along in her maturing. She has not torn through my skin, save by accident or incident relating to Sam, in quite some time. I no longer appear to have been mauled by a mini-lioness. I still bear the scar from the last attempt at bathing her though. Ah well, I will just add it to the numerous scars and battlemarks I will bear to death. At least I thought this one was funny, mostly.
Well, I have become a bit senile in some ways, to the way most tend to think, and being detached from flesh can make even being on fire something to chuckle at, should I be in a certain state of mind. Bah! I really ponder whether I could truly be called a death knight... of sorts. Or an actuated guru, minor (mortal) deity (by being impervious to environment or pain, not in a spiritual context), or like the accidental transcendentalist I have suggested before. If I could just get up, the world would be mine to do with as I please. If that is true, I am glad I cannot get up. Like the one ring and Gandolf, I... dare not. Not even should I set out to do good.
Sam is out, in this better weather, finding mice for the family. Of course, at this point and partly due to the scarcity of mice and the rarity of suitable times to hunt, all she shares is the regurgitated fur of the little beasts. ON MY JUST CLEANED RUG, TOO, I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW! Still, that I know she is having some fun is almost enough. I no longer chastise her for doing what she must, I now know better. Still, I do shut off the bedroom. I do like some places kept clean, safe, and vomit free.
I ought to go do something or other. I still, however, am not up to much. I did well with my lady friend. Between her ideas and mine, her ways and wants and my facilities, I was able to manage a week of care and attention, and without much effort as I have suggested. I did sleep in a few hours each day, but then I was up later doing some of the things I do after she had already gone to sleep. Blogging and minor game tasks which are to be done daily or up to thrice daily are solo tasks and I do not like impinging on the time I have with real people for these things. Mornings are a good time to let people... visitors... have their own personal time as well. Of course I am making this up as I go. But it seems to fit.
Later.
.
Well, not a good thing if you remember a certain joke of which the title is a punchline, though for a different reason than in the joke. Never... mind... It was not that bad of a joke, it is not out of sorts, and all, but... I will leave it to my and maybe your memory in any case. Same with the juxtaposed conditional humor interplayed between the joke and the fact of the matter about today. I will just say that today is the day my game updates, so is unplayable until well into the afternoon. Bah! Laugh, damn you!
The weather here has been fine, fantastic actually, after a set of storms and a dark beginning of winter which seemed to portent weather mayhem. Most of the snow, down here in the valleys, is gone. The mountains, though, I assure you, are still snowed in and handsomely in the mountain snow way. I have not been watching the weather as, to me, it means nothing. I was amazed to have a week of fantastic weather while my lady friend visited, and I continue to be amazed. Then again, as I remember things, winters here are rather nice compared to Iowa. The sun does shine here, and often. Only the elevation keeps the snow around I think? Or is it the elevation that keeps it mild? Or is it that I am in a valley and surrounded by mountains, or the lack of moisture? Who knows, but I am keen on the winters hereabouts. I think these people, many who think winters here to be foul, would be horrified by Iowa winters. Let it be, I know, and that is good enough.
Sassy is coming along in her maturing. She has not torn through my skin, save by accident or incident relating to Sam, in quite some time. I no longer appear to have been mauled by a mini-lioness. I still bear the scar from the last attempt at bathing her though. Ah well, I will just add it to the numerous scars and battlemarks I will bear to death. At least I thought this one was funny, mostly.
Well, I have become a bit senile in some ways, to the way most tend to think, and being detached from flesh can make even being on fire something to chuckle at, should I be in a certain state of mind. Bah! I really ponder whether I could truly be called a death knight... of sorts. Or an actuated guru, minor (mortal) deity (by being impervious to environment or pain, not in a spiritual context), or like the accidental transcendentalist I have suggested before. If I could just get up, the world would be mine to do with as I please. If that is true, I am glad I cannot get up. Like the one ring and Gandolf, I... dare not. Not even should I set out to do good.
Sam is out, in this better weather, finding mice for the family. Of course, at this point and partly due to the scarcity of mice and the rarity of suitable times to hunt, all she shares is the regurgitated fur of the little beasts. ON MY JUST CLEANED RUG, TOO, I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW! Still, that I know she is having some fun is almost enough. I no longer chastise her for doing what she must, I now know better. Still, I do shut off the bedroom. I do like some places kept clean, safe, and vomit free.
I ought to go do something or other. I still, however, am not up to much. I did well with my lady friend. Between her ideas and mine, her ways and wants and my facilities, I was able to manage a week of care and attention, and without much effort as I have suggested. I did sleep in a few hours each day, but then I was up later doing some of the things I do after she had already gone to sleep. Blogging and minor game tasks which are to be done daily or up to thrice daily are solo tasks and I do not like impinging on the time I have with real people for these things. Mornings are a good time to let people... visitors... have their own personal time as well. Of course I am making this up as I go. But it seems to fit.
Later.
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