Alright, but...?

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I finally decided enough time has passed.  After eating.  Four boiled eggs, coffee with cream, if half what I was drinking once, and water other than that.  Time to check blood sugar.  It is 132.  That is eight less than fasting.  But, so very high?  Now, I think my system is... extremely wanting carbs.  Even to the point of using fake non-carbs... that feel/taste/look like carbs as carbs to the point of maintaining diabetes without the presence of carbs/sugars/such.

So... could it be holding onto the remnants of those apples?  This far along?  Maybe.  I mean, 138, 132?  Those aren't horrible.  But they aren't 80 to 100.  And it was getting to the normal range.  Really, apples, two?  Smaller, even, not large apples.  Though, perhaps, the bacon was part of it?  Not sure.  Had them the day before.  Didn't bother blood sugar.  But... maybe it had to build up, or the apples trip-fucked the system to become more sensitive?

A good sign.

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I was beginning to worry.  About bp.  I took medication when I woke up.  I added more.  Not even half of what I had been on, but double what I was taking... if that... tells you anything?  But, of just one medicine, too.  Not the four I was taking.

Then, I started gaming.  I felt something... shift.  A bit frighteningly, to be honest.  So I checked blood pressure.  It is 122/88, with a pulse of 85.  Was that was shifted, down?  I suspect so.  Good, good, I had been worrying.  This evening, with this read, I will only take half what I took this morning.  Not sure how to approach this though.

Finally.

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To be fair, I got stuck in the game until pushing one.  I didn't hear the alarm, at five.  Started coming to around nine.  Just finally woke up around 11:30.  Neck and shoulders are completely out of sorts.  A headache to go with it.  Medicine and painpills first thing.

Blood sugar is up, a bit, at 138 fasting.  Ugh.  Not... horrible, but not as low as it has been.  Still, when I have gone rather clean for a while, a cheat can throw things for days.  Apples?  Just two apples?  Okay.  Though, I do wonder about the bacon.  No more bacon for a while.  I just... need to see if that is what is messing with blood pressure and maybe blood sugar too.

It feels like someone pinched my collar bone area, on the right side.  Pinched.  And did it so long that the whole side over there hurts from it.

Today?  I'd like to get a shower, when I can.  Probably have a few eggs right first thing.  Boiled.  So easy.  Needs extra salt, but... it wasn't cooked with any, so that's fine.  Then set up dishes.  Some hope of getting to town?  I'd like to get some things, for Thanksgiving dinner.  Not sure the sweetener I ordered will arrive in time.

Sweetener?  Sure, will be trying some things.  But... only for holidays.  I have given up on sweeteners as even a few times a week thing.  I... my body just doesn't play nice with those things.  But, for a holiday?  Sure.  Then again, I can make the cranberry sauce and have it with leftovers.  That, for me, has been as much Thanksgiving as the meal day.  

With larger families, it was a very short extra feast.  With smaller people groups, it has been a drudge of a thing sometimes.  But, as they have said for eons beyond counting?  May this, too, in time, become a fond memory.  And... so it has.  Both variations.  I'll... say a little prayer for the many people I have intimately dined with on the day... friends, family, enemies, and else.  For I think an angel, or two, has sat at my table... sometimes as hosts, sometimes guests.  Though worse too.  All were welcome, for a moment.

Not sure if I will make it all, in time.  But I should have a fairly pleasant group of meals, and... within... a few days of the official day.  May you as well.

A shower, dishes, some cooking, shopping?  Maybe laundry, upstairs.  Or... if the pain has me pinned, a few of those things and gaming.  Ouch.  Prayers your way, and kind thoughts.  Enjoy your family.  May they accept you.  Amen.

thanks, Chief

Stats... are troubling.

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Blood sugar is good, really good.  Back to very nice again, at 113, an hour or two after my big supper.  BP?  Not... so good.  The first one was 176/96, with a pulse of 63?  The second one was 156/86, with the same pulse.  What's... going on.  Bacon?  I don't know.  I am going to not have bacon for the next week.  I'll see from there.  I just don't know.  I can probably get it to lower, a bit, but... two shots is usually what I give it.  And, maybe, an arm change... which I did.

Though... maybe the cuff is out of sorts?  It is really old.  Might check the battery too.  I think this cuff is... nearly twenty years old?  It doesn't even have memory, so I have to be careful when checking.  Ugh.

Could it merely be from being out yesterday?  The stress of dealing with the doctor?  This, and that?  On top of bacon?  Is there... something else?  I just don't know.  I'll figure it out though.  So, for now, a bit more medicine.  Ugh.  Starting tomorrow.  If blood sugar stays good, I'll... manage the bp however, whatever it takes.  Hmm...

A few final things with the game, then on to bed.  Goodnight.

Gaming.

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I don't know.  This game is deep.  Really, really, deep.  And it doesn't ever really seem to level off.  Just keeping up is a trick, but no... that... you'll never keep up.  So far, out of sheer luck from what I can tell, I haven't failed to put together fuel, or parts, to do various things.

Basically it is a space exploring and combat sim type of thing.  Only, you have to mine for fuels.  But... it... takes two or three types of fuels.  On top of fuels, you need to keep yourself alive, with oxygen top offs, electrical (and/or other) life support needs, and else.  It's... a hot mess.

Late.

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I was to bed reasonably early, 20:00 or so, 21:00 at the latest?  I heard the alarm, at five.  Wrestled with it a few times before realizing it just wasn't going to happen.  Turning it off in frustrated understanding.  Slept cold.  Couldn't get warm.  Slept mostly well?  Peed a lot though, through the night.  May have filled the three liter, or at least two liters.

Couldn't get out until nine.  Even then, it was all I could do.  Standing, I had no balance and almost fell.  Just my feet?  Not sure.  I am still in recovery and yesterday was a heck of a tug.  While I felt good through it, didn't struggle staying awake on the drive home or such, it did use up everything I had.

Half the steak.

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That's all I could eat.  To be honest?  It was okay, but... strange.  I prefer the steaks I get more locally.  It won't go to waste, but it... wasn't... my best?  Or it wasn't the best?  I did use Redman's salt.  That can be different.  As well, I baked it a while, which I don't usually do.  Dunno, wasn't as happy with it as I hoped.

Having coffee while at it.  I didn't have any coffee all day.  Just water.

A long day out.

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First to my second bank.  A minor withdrawal and a readjustment to how much I pull from my main account.  Took forever!  Computer problems and new teller.  No... big deal.  But got it done.  Then, to put the withdrawal into my main account.  Their... computer was inoperable, or their system.  Gave me a written, essentially, iou?  Yes.  I hope I don't lose it.  Just checked... it... is in.  Goody.

No, things happen.  I wasn't worried about the time or trouble.  I started out well early so as not to have problems.  I was worried about wearying too much, later in the day.  But... I would deal with that was required.

Good Monday morning!?!

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Morning read is 133/85 pulse of 88.  Fasting blood sugar is 100, weekly average is 137, biweekly is 150.  I only have 18 reads, so not enough to start on the monthly averages.  Wow.  Nice.  After the second dose of bacon, I checked my bp last night.  It worried me just a wee.  It was 168/92, with a pulse like 88?  Something.  I didn't track it, because I just do morning checks these days.  I just... wondered.  Was it the bacon?  I think so.  The salt in the bacon, or other stuff though?  Eating the bacon made me wonder.  I will do it the next time I eat bacon as well.  And other really salty foods... out of curiosity.  If bacon and salty food does elevate, I'll... reserve it for special occasions, or see if eating less is good enough.

Seeing it back down, to a good number, and that before medication, eases my mind.  No on to medication and minerals.  And painkillers.  My neck still hurts.  I think I tended it better, through the night.  But when you put a kink in a thing, over several nights, it doesn't just un-kink in one night.  Mine don't.

Still a bit cranky.

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Not mood... body.  Mostly the neck.  Still, or restarted, sprinkling out there.  Amazing that it is staying above freezing.  The Atlantic weather thing.  El Nina?  I think.  It's the girl one, right?  And, supposedly, a super one.  Well, it's definitely sending warmer weather in.  If just above freezing isn't truly warm, it's just... warmer.  The difference between freezing and wet is just a few degrees.

I did start laundry.  Hmm, I was going to go to bed, but... no.  I want that dry.  And, some of it is heavy.  It'll take a few shots through the machine to dry.

A nap.

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Those things can be loverly.  I was worried about oversleeping.  But, when waking was a bit confused, thinking it was at night... and that I was trying to stay asleep longer.  Nope!  Luckily I realized it was just a nap, checked the time, and realized it was just the right time to get up... or how I count naps.

A wonderful nap.  I warmed up, while sleeping.  Dreamed of women, I think.  Oh, but whatever has improved with my health?  It... has improved... in... many ways.  My worries about some things no longer remain.  And, my guess, will only get better.  Children won't be a problem, from my side of things.

A bit off today.

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Food was good, helped?  I think so.  However, I'm still running way behind.  Just dragging.  The cold spit of rain this morning didn't help.  And, that it has been dark and cool up to at least now doesn't help.  Just... one of those days.  Even so, it is a better day than it has been.  How good a bad day that it is far better than usual?  I do have to chuckle.  I'm... even well enough to notice the downtick.  There is some gallows humor in there, deep, dark, dank.  Noice!

I just checked blood sugar.  Always worried that it might jump up, for seemingly no reason.  I have had a fatted coffee, four boiled eggs, and about four slices of bacon, at the most.  Still, I do worry about bacon.  Regardless of what the ingredient list is.  They can change that, without notice.  And I have doubts if they have to list (or all) actual ingredients.

Couldn't make it.

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Noon was the goal.  But not today.  And... most likely... for reasonable causes.  Food, that is.  I was starting to feel really rough.  Everything I did was difficult.  The cold water earlier didn't help, but that wasn't all of it.  No, my body needed food.

While you can starve, if in decent health, for days, weeks, even up to a couple of months?  You will suffer.  Even if you have fats, taking that out of storage must not be an easy, or efficient, thing.  Nor does the body really want to do that.  Much as you don't want to go through your house, and get rid of what you aren't using?  I'm thinking the ideas are linked in some way.

Not quite a start?

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But... a start, in truth.  Just not a working start.  First, as waking, I have been reviewing the game I downloaded last night, and the other game I was thinking about.  Just... gaming tips, and such.  Eyes are bleary.  Dry eyes, for various reasons, including that I am retaining less fluid.

As I was checking on the second game, that I hadn't downloaded/bought, one of the things I wanted to see was price.  I checked on amazon, then on the ps5 store.  Oh, looks like I already have the game.  It may have been a freebie, one I added to my collection, but never downloaded.  Was probably in a game I liked, at the time.  So, while looking on other things, online, I went ahead and downloaded that game too.  That was... easier... and cheaper... than anticipated.

No way?

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I keep being surprised.  I didn't eat a lot, yesterday.  But I did have half a steak earlier, then four eggs later.  It was around bedtime when I had the eggs.  I thought they might interfere with blood sugar numbers this morning.  But that is 102 fasting.  Very nice.  Even so, from now on, I will try to eat in a smaller window, say six or eight hours.

I don't care if I eat early, or later, as long as it is consistent.  I'm really thinking later is better.  That gives me time to plan, and makes it easier to go without if I am only eating once?  Yea.  If I eat early, I almost always want to eat something later... needed or not.  So... noon?  Noon or later, finished by 18:00.  That... would work.  Then again, I think that is about what it was yesterday?  But on the fringes of that?  Or so.

Well?

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Some things done.  Dishes, once over.  And, the big pot, done so that eggs could be cooked.  Those were peeled and put up, plus I had four.  I almost feel guilting boiling these quality of eggs.  Almost.  They taste so much better than any storebought eggs I have found.  It doesn't matter if they are "organic", "pasture raised", or... any o the token terms.  Among other things, these eggs aren't fed soy.  Yes, it... makes a huge difference.

So, four eggs for dinner.  I could have gone without, but... I... just wanted something more.  The pot is cleaned, ready for bacon.  But I am too ready for bed.

Don't have to.

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Don't want to.  Could.  Won't.  Eat, that is.  I have pork chops, burger, and probably the chicken thawed.  A few chops would make for a fairly good quick, small meal.  A hamburger patty or two would be nice, three would be too much.  The chicken?  I don't think so.  Not yet.  I'm putting that in the fridge, to let it finish thawing.  That will be for... no... Thanksgiving is too far off.  Still, not for today.  Tomorrow?  Maybe.  Well, parts of it.

Evening medicine went down.  I thought about taking the whole losartan pill, but no.  Half is enough.  While bp is running right at the edge of where I want it?  It's still, often, slightly under.  I don't want it under.  I'd rather have it just slightly over, if I have to go in one direction or the other.

Looking for a game.

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Well, there are Japanese games.  And games for girls.  Many of the games which should be for boys and men have female leads.  Just... not interesting.  It was cute, once.  Now it's... dull.  Either the game is just button mashing, or with girl leads, or Japanese.  Until they sort things out, I'm not just interested.

There might be a platforming game, that comes with ps5.  I've heard it is good.  But, game reviewers, at this point, are the worst of salesmen.  Odd that most of them are still male, if mostly of soy boi type.  I haven't seen an honest negative review in a while.  Or a negative review for the right reasons.  I more suspect the reviewer wasn't paid off in some way than that the game is bad (for the reasons mentioned).

Not quite getting to work yet.

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But food, down.  The last half of the steak was warmed and eaten.  I just nuked it.  Had to look up the instructions.  But ended up being well worth the little bit of effort.  The steak was reheated, without being overdone, in... a very short time.  The edges weren't... odd.  The fat wasn't rendered in a bad way.  It was heated throughout.  And it only took... fifteen seconds?  Covered in paper towels so there was no splatter.  Okay.

As well?  I can stand, for a short while anyway, without feeling like I am going to fall.  Like my legs are going to give out, from weakness.  For the whole of this last weak, even getting to the bathroom has been a stumble, followed by a stumble, never having legs I could count on.

Yeah?

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I heard the alarm.  At three.  No dice.  Not rolling out until 7:07.  Way late, but I was up for several hours again.  So be it.  Until that gets sorted out, it will just kind go that way.  I'm not upset about it.  And, seven isn't that late.  Later than I would like, but... not terrible.

Medicine, right after taking blood sugar.  Which was 114 fasting.  Maybe not the 101 of late last night, but I am still quite pleased.