The Church, the family, and some issues.

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While pondering whether I will get to go forth and find a woman to marry, I have been contemplating family life. Strangely or not, depending upon how you understand the Church, the relationship between man and wife is very similar to the relationship between a man and the Church. The two issues are, in many ways, inextricably intertwined. There are differences too, of course. But the similarities far outweigh the differences. While I have always believed there is a great similarity, until I began thinking about looking for a wife and what that means, I didn't see how strong the similarities are.

My focus, however, strayed from that point. Rather than looking at the similarities, my mind took a turn onto the path of thought concerning problems I have with women, and by extension at times, the Church. What amazed me was how similar both the nature of problems are and how deep they go. To choose a bride, take the vows, and surrender to a new life, a man surrenders some parts of himself. The Church, like a woman, is feminine in nature. While this seems good, it excludes masculinity. In churches where women are ordained, the balance is even further thrown over, all but hating men and possibly on into that. But even in my Church, and from the beginning, men have chosen to give up the masculine nature in order to seek even the priesthood. While still surely men, they leave behind sexual relations when they do so properly which the majority honestly do, and they leave behind any call to arms, two of the most virile aspects of masculinity. They give these up in and for trust and faith. Women, by their very nature, are feminine. Even lesbians and feminists, with their higher testosterone levels, are yet fully defined by femininity.

This, for most men, is a difficult thing to overcome. Even in Churches where biblical understandings are implemented, the feminizing factor cannot be denied, even to the point of being overpowering at times. Marriage is no different. With women in tow, a man must slow down, change, make room in his ways for a wife. She simply can't do all he can do. Further, she has learned mannerisms which allow her to find use in a world which has decided she will be weaker, among other things. She slows things down, she adds detail and various other virtues and vices to grant a more level playing field, in her favor. And yet, any man worth his salt knows that such a playing field is a child's game meant to do precisely what it does. Men only choose to allow for that unbalanced and often illogical playing field in order, to, well, play with the crafter of that field.

In other words, both women and the Church, while natural elements in some ways, are also quite unnatural to men is as many ways. Rules, regulations, illogical devices, and an uneven playing field that is stilted against men. It is no wonder men rebel against both, and strongly, at various times in our lives. There used to be balance through law, for the family. There used to be some support through civil and religious norms. Most of that is gone, for now.

The one thing, for now, that I see in my Church is that the femininity of the Church as the bride is offset by the masculinity, even handicapped in some ways as it is, through the masculinity of the priesthood and the rest of the hierarchy. I see that as an attempt, by God I would assume, to try and create a balance between allowing the feminine of the notion of the Church being the bride of Christ and the reality that men cannot be brides. I can't say I fully understand the checks and balances, but I think barring an overriding civil dissolution the idea is good, it works, mostly. At this point, of course, we live in civil disorder.

I know, should I go looking for a wife, I will have to put up with feminine elements in my life. She will have to be allowed to impose rules, hopefully more created in unison. But if she is to have a place in our life and further into my life, I will have to bow to areas that she has responsibility thus freedom thus control. Lord knows I hope she doesn't try to dress me funny. I have limits. In other words, no matter how much men like it or not, we have to hand at least one of our testicles over for her purse, sometimes both. She will act, if the woman becomes our woman and the reverse, as a ball and chain. We will do similar back, if in different areas, but that isn't my issue today.

The Church, and women, do tend to tame men. Women can't do it without familial attachments, women will simply follow men into hedonism. The churches which try to equate men and women also fail because of the pre-existing imbalance toward the feminine of the Church. But if vows are taken in anything like a legitimate manner, the wife will settle a man. The Church will too, if a man honestly submits. Do I really want to be tamed? Honestly? No. But I do want a wife, I do want children, and I want to be a part of the Church. There is only one way to get those. I don't, however, always have to like it. I will have to grin and bear it. And, given the chance, I will.

By the way, the priest called not long ago. Being a bit busy sounding, and having a complicated schedule myself, I have not yet called him back. I hope to do that, along with some other business, tomorrow. I have a few things to discuss. *grin*

Tired, yes indeed. Sleep should be good. Doh! I forgot about the laundry. Bad me. That means another hour up. I should sleep really well.