Ouch!

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Headache. Bad one. I think, being busy at the hospital, I wasn't allowed to tend fluid and food needs. The sun wasn't out, not while I was driving there, so it probably wasn't that. Though sunshine on the way home didn't help. Meh, I'll figure this out. My blood pressure was 133/96 though, if my pulse was still 101. They checked it twice through the appointments, or more. It really is 133/96. This confuses them because I really am not on blood pressure medicine.

They wanted me to go in for an arterial test and maybe the balloon. But they fibbed to me about the length of time I would have to be immobile, the possible side effects, and the seriousness of the thing itself. I would have had to reschedule two appointments, set a bunch of other things back, and hoped nothing went wrong for the cat's sakes. And worse, I would have had to push that last to almost beyond reason.

They set me up to stay at the hospital for a couple of days, but that won't work. I don't mind a blind roommate if I have a lockable place to put my wallet and keys and if I will not be further incapacitated by a medical procedure and possibly the drugs they use for that. I didn't realize how wrong everything was until shortly after supper. I will have to find a motel which has a shuttle (as I will not be allowed to drive for at least 24 hours from whenever they finish). I could get by with one day, if I would be willing to leave by 4:00, though I should probably put an extra night on hold just in case. Then again, if something goes wrong they might be required to hospitalize me.

Further, I need to make some things clear with the doctors who will be performing this. If they make a mistake, or my arteries fail, they will not have my permission to do open heart surgery. Actually, I will give them zero license to cut me open. If they cannot revive me using non-invasive methods (to include shots, saline, blood, electric shock, heart massage (barring breaking my ribs)) then they will have to let me die. I will not, cannot, be weakened that much living on my own. They better make sure they really want to puff that balloon, and where. This is nonnegotiable. Severe, sure, but I can't handle more disability. I am crawling through life as is. No, no, not a single "but...". No "but"s about it.

I do need to set my alarm to be awake in time to call them tomorrow by 7:00. I don't mind resetting this thing up, but I simply can't do it in this unplanned reckless manner. I also would like to know if this is just a typical test they eventually get to with all people with my condition. I want to know what my condition actually is, something about something or something else and every doctor has a slightly different take. I need solid before I am willing to move forward. Is this simply exploratory? Is this absolutely needed? Are they just guessing? They have to include me in the loop.

I will add a bit more of one of the medicines I am on. If it is a problem, it is a slight problem. So I will give them that. But no more until I know more. Right, wrong, it is simply the way I roll. I really didn't like being mislead about how serious this thing is, how long I would be down (and that as a minimum), or anything else about this. I am not to be kept in the loop, I am the fucking loop. Doctors really need some non-academic education. If they want what they work on not to talk back they need to go into mechanical engineering. HrUHMPH!

Ah well, there is all that. Wow, a little fluid and food really helped. I wasn't sure painkillers would have touched this, and alone I think not. A bit more fluid, afternoon medicines, perhaps some painkillers as well, and I should sleep like a pig in mud on a hot summer day.

Later or good night!