Wowouch.

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I doubt if many of you have ever heard of a beautiful death? A beautiful death is when a warrior, at his peak and truly in fine form, meets an greater opponent and is killed in spectacular form with terrible but swift brutality. Spartans, of ancient Greece, were the first group I knew about who considered such a thing as the... best way to go. I used to concur completely. Barring that a man has little reason to live. If you couldn't fight, and fighting is what a Spartan did, you had no reason to exist. While I will probably not ever find a perfect death and don't really seek such, I have found beautiful pain. Hey, take what you can get.

The work I did yesterday was fantastic, considering the givens. I completed three large loads of laundry, from washing to drying to folding or hanging. I also picked up the sticks I have been meaning to get to for... a very long time. And I started in on the lawn. I suppose I may have done a sixth, maybe a fifth, of the 'first coat'. That is I have cut the tops off the high grass making the lawnmower a more feasible tool for the rest of it. The higher parts of the tops can't really be mowed, not with my equipment. Actually, they can't be weed whipped either. I have to weed whip at a line slightly below half height as anything above that is too hard to cut. I will be getting to more, shortly. I need to get my lawnmower going, to make sure it is available as well.

Now, the thing is, I have not worked in three months. Doing a single load of laundry has been the top of the work capacity. So grabbing a 6 pound weed whip, holding onto the gyrating device, and swinging it back and forth for an hour or two, was quite a bit of work in comparison. That side ache I have had has become quite a thing. It is a beautiful pain. It used to be able to take my breathe once in a while, now it has my breathe down to a practiced whisper. I breathe slowly, carefully, even a little fearfully. It feels, in a minor way, like I have been cut from backbone to sternum, from the middle of the soft torso back up to the sternum. The pain is always there and rather pronounced. It can become extremely pronounced, to definitely taking my breathe for several moments, like diving into cold water on a hot day, if I breath too fast or with any depth. But it doesn't stop there. I keep trying to... breathe deeper. I want my breathe back, I hate that feeling of restricted breathing. That is more terrible than almost any pain.

Guess what? I am about to make it worse. Beyond getting the lawnmower going, and possibly testing it on one of the plots, I am going to weed whip a bit more this afternoon. And, when the helpers arrive, I will do so again. This is going to be tricky. Especially with a drive to Salt Lake City later tonight. But since I have the help, and don't wish to appear to be a laggard, I must do as much of this as I can. At least simply mowing from now on will seem much easier in comparison. I really am considering a riding mower. I will make that decision after this is cleared and then after I mow a regular lawn once or twice. If it really is a bit too much I might just have to figure out how to get a rider. Getting old, sick, or both, stinks. If I do that I will buy one that can handle attachments I do believe. A true garden riding mower for mowing of course, and hauling, tilling, maybe even snow removal and minor bulldozing. Or... not.

It is fantastic to have 90% of my clothes not only clean but also hung or folded. I have been limping by with a load a week, usually not folded or hung, and just getting by with just enough clothes to get through another week. I hope, now, to organize my bedroom and get it cleaned up from being a sickroom. It needs... a lot of work. Being your own doctor, nurse, and caregiver when you are pretty much flat on your back means... concessions. As soon as you can though, you kick the tics and fleas to the curb. No, I don't think I actually have either. I do have a bed that will see those if not tended though. Every pillow, blanket, sheet, comforter, and whatever else there needs cleaning. Pillows, I think, this "morning". They will have some time to dry as I won't be drying them completely in the dryer, it messes them up.

I had best get busy. I am not sure when to expect the company and I don't want to look more like a leech than what I already do. Oh, right, I best get my travel gear packed for heading out tonight. Last minute packing often leaves something forgotten. Oh, and, WOUCH. That really does hurt. Later.