Two hours.

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That is all the sleep I could get for the test. It sounds like they are going to try and send me a machine after I told them I probably don't need one. After being tested a half a dozen times in the last five years, they do a test at home while I have pulmonary edema and then base probably even weak evidence from that to do more. I think they are tossing these machines around since psychiatry is being debunked, ridiculed, and put aside as childishness. Their new candy is breathing assistance. Won't work, I want them to find the problem not an excuse to stop looking.

I have worked for two days in a row. Sure, not much work, a few hours each day. Well, and laundry, and a few trips, and... more than I was doing per month for the last few months. I was sure I would sleep well. The tech wasn't happy. I think, for him, it has become a bit of a game. He can control pressure and I think for him keeping the visitors down is satisfying. I stayed down for an hour after waking, trying to get back to sleep, before suggesting we call it off. He asked for another half hour to try and I accepted. I am pretty sure he has methods of adjusting the air pressure which often works to elicit sleep. I tried to work with him, as I would much rather have slept. The bed was comfortable, I was tired, it just didn't happen.

The CPAP was fine to sleep with, actually. I have heard good and bad about it. The thing is my sleeping problems have nothing to do with breathing, save when I have trouble breathing even while awake. The only thing that has worked with helping me to sleep is, actually, Ritalin. It allows me to kick over whatever holds me and burn enough calories in order to sleep. It doesn't solve the problem. Whatever is holding me back still exists. It simply allows me to push past it. Some sleep medicine did force me to sleep but it limited the sleep to four hours, with or without Ritalin. Most of it had no affect. I don't know what the problem is, in full. Only that anti-depressants, mood stabilizers, sleeping pills, and even exercise without something to allow that to happen with any frequency or the focused vigor necessary.

So, back home, up with little to do, I am finishing my bedding. I am hoping to have my bedding ready to be put back on and my bed back in play before crashing. I can't tell what of the yard has been done, even with the full moon (ishness) I just can't see. Sassy was out while I was gone. I put her out a bit today and with the lawn events, she wouldn't come back in. I nearly weed whipped her while doing the back yard slightly before leaving. She was hidden in the deep grass. Then she wouldn't come in, disappearing... somewhere. I think she was as pleased to see me when I let her in a bit after returning home as I was to see her. Crazy girl.

Well, on to tinkering while I do the laundry.