How long can pain continue?

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After three months of deteriorating breathing and then a reprieve, I suppose I know what bad is. Those final weeks were excruciating. I literally never could catch my breath save those rare times when I could sleep, and then only being able to sleep for short times. Okay, that was bad. I received a week or so of nearly pain free normalcy, if my stamina had rotted and the depth of my ability to push that was and is still compromised by breathing issues. But the little pains that have come up are the main complaint at this point. The main one is a constant pain in my right side. A deeper breath, moving much, and sometimes just because, the pain will go from mild but constant to being like a cut. The pain will cause me to lose track and wince when severe. I hope they figure out what is causing that.

Because doing much increases pain and causes panting I have been doing very little and doing what I do slowly, my body is simply becoming grumpy. Inactivity has become a prison, one that actually is bringing about pains on it's own. Despite being relatively inactive before, when I used to do things, I did them with an absolute gusto. Getting out of my chair to go to the kitchen or to the restroom was a blur. Waking in the morning, at least physically getting out of bed, was done in a flash. Legs were kicked out to give some momentum, the rest of the corpse was pulled along, and I was up, out, and in my chair faster than a cat realizing the cat food bowl was full. *blink* Now I am having to do things slowly, cautiously. Probably not quite 'old man' slow, but much slower than I am wont to do things. Even dizziness, to a degree, plagues me. I think one or more of the medicines causes that.

The urinalysis and a blood pressure check will happen today. Hopefully they can figure something out or come my way a bit if they see their medicine is rather ineffective at the level I can tolerate it. The weather is poised to favor outdoor activity. If they could offer a little assistance, I think simply getting out, on top of juggling medicine, I could find health again. Neither of us trusts the other, of course. They believe in their pills, I believe in my corpse. I realize my body is not like Johnny, Billy, and definitely not like Sue. It heals, it regains strength, and it handles pain and damage like few others. Perhaps they are right, perhaps what I have seen work is ill advised. But doing nothing, or too little, will yield the same result. Work with me, damn it! But with me, not over me or through me. I have to be dealt with both biologically and mentally. We will see.

I did like the edam cheese. I am thinking about the havarti. I will have to try cheeses separately, as they don't necessarily mix well. The stronger cheese will overpower the notes of the milder cheese, especially if eaten first. Cheese eating, even French, but no surrender monkey lives here. I only keep a white flag for attackers who might have forgotten theirs. The only thing that could be bottled here is whine. Fresh or vintage, I keep that on tap and store the best of it at the proper temperature and humidity. Then again, if I had a bit more on the ball, I probably would keep a couple of cases of good table wine on hand. I am not sure if wine enhances good cheese or allows bad cheese to pass muster more easily, as both are qualities of the stuff. Blathering!

Later.