.
.
So be it. I will be in to pick up my friend sooner or later. I am still tired. One day off, after a long day, after another day off, with a busy whole week pretty much since last Sunday before that. And, I have been pumping it out for a couple weeks or more, as much as possible. Further, I have weeks to come of heavy work, and that is until my mother visits, at which time I will be even busier, until I go in for some psychotic surgical procedure. Ah well. Just saying. Not really complaining. Actually, if anything, I am depressed about how little I am doing. I mean, all that I am doing is a miracle compared to my last 20 years. Truly, I am doing all kinds of things. But compared to almost any of you? I do in a week what you do in a day and few of you even get that mild of a day, to a degree. Some perspective is good, but there are so many perspectives which need to be applied that it is difficult to keep track. Never... Mind.
I slept well. I woke later than what my bedtime would have suggested. But I do what I can, when I can. I need a quick shower but my shave is still good. Sometimes my shave is good for a few hours, sometimes it will last a week. I suspect I have some sort of internal chemical (physique type) metabolism issues. Then again, 20-30% blood flow... I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. To keep everything going, my body must transfer blood around to various things. Even vital organs don't get a full requested supply. Everything is on some sort of high and low rotation, where the "high" is just more than low but not even close to true demand. Considering it has probably been this bad for a very long time, I am honestly surprised I am not retarded through oxygen deprived brain damage. Hmmm, maybe I am. What would I have been if they had fixed this decades ago? Even if they fix it now, is my body and brain permanently stunted, broken? I don't know.
Well, I best be on my way. Good day.
Oh I don't know. Usually the brain is the last organ to be depleted. Somehow the system knows it's the most important.
ReplyDeleteThe hardest thing watching my Dad die of leukemia was the effects of oxygen deprivation on his cognitive function the last few days of his life.
Perhaps, D.C. The thing is, with 20 years or more of a very bad heart, I have to think the brain has been impacted negatively. There are times where I really cannot think. I am of some belief that there are periods where my heart nearly stopped and I did go without oxygen. There are periods of time where nothing made sense, and I still hit that from time to time. Not so much recently, but certainly within the last year.
ReplyDeleteThere are times when you would have recognized your father in my lost eyes. They HAD to know something was up, especially since nothing they offered for their proposed diagnosis did a thing.