A few things.

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I think I got all packages returned to amazon.  I think so?  I'll... check, after this.  I had gotten all ready, and nearly out.  Turned off the computer as I grabbed the packages.  Or... the ones I remembered.  Argh!  I didn't want to wait for the computer to reboot, and longer, for the router to reinitiate.  Not as hot as it is in here... and ready to go, plus with the clock ticking.

I had, also, to pick up feed.  And best be there before 17:00, I would say be there an half to hour even earlier.  And, better yet, earlier still.  Just... trust me.  Oh, I understand.  I... was a heel, but one of blissful ignorance, not of prideful, demanding, or commanding sort.  No... I... just was oblivious to their situation.  At the end of the day, a long day in the heat, they are tired.  Ordering four to six hundred pounds of feed, at closing time?  Yea.

I wasn't just completely oblivious, I suppose.  I... was having trouble getting out, the birds had gone hungry for two days, and it was going on three days, or close to those numbers, and that was when I could be there.  But neither did they know that, or would it change their situation.  So... yes... I intruded... because there were no better options.  Sometimes I have no choices.

Still, I... now try my damnedest to be there earlier.  The afternoons is as good as I can do these days.  I think it was between 14:00 and 15:00?  Enough food, probably, for birds and rabbits, for two months?  Mostly.  I can hope.  Ugh.  I will probably buy a few more next month, and try to stay at this level, so I don't have to  buy three hundred pounds or more at a time.  Perhaps tiptoe it up to about three months storage, then keep it trimmed each month.  It buys me time if the world goes to absolute guano.  I... need time.  There are a few other sources, but debt is bad.  Absolute short term is best.  I have done that, and paid as soon as possible.

Brutal out there.  The suv doesn't have a thermo in the vehicle.  Though I honestly don't trust those.  If they are reading the local academic bs readers in parking lots, there you go!  If they are reading the heat from the tar road, there you go!  My friend thinks I am too cynical.  I think he is a stooge.  

It's... okay to take people at their word, and institutions, the government, medicine.  But always look at which way the wind is blowing for them.  If your detriment is to their gain?  Guess what?  They will fuck you and convince you that you wanted it.  So don't come crying to momma when they talked you into stomping on your own dick.  No, you can't handle the truth!  Oh... well... something like that.  

Go ahead, trust them.  At this point, every system, bureaucracy, government and public business, services from xbox to your smartphone to your ips, have been weaponized against you.  They will break you with "your" own products.  At some point, everything will be considered illegal, on a rolling index.  So, right when you think you are protected by the politburo, they will outlaw you or what you thought was legal, and prove you are what they say you are with your own words, from your own device, recorded by voice or writing.  There are going to be a lot of dead twitterers.  First conservative, then liberal.  They... really don't care, only that you die, really.

Ah, anyway.  When I got home, I unloaded most of it just a bit away.  Two bags had to go into the duck feed bin, and so it did.  Brutal in that heat.  I started the water, then began unloading and mixing the feeds as the water ran.  The duckles were happy!  It always pleases me to see them eat and play and enjoy life.

Oh, the indian runner hen, who is most broody, has found a place to lay.  Henry... tends her, both as a mate and as a male, the man.  They have a nice clutch going.  I am hoping to have a few more hens of that sort, and perhaps an extra drake, soon.  If... it works out.  Crow, the black duck, her one is still around.  I hadn't seen them for a while.  I was worried she had died, both of  them.  It is good to see her and her young one.  Yes, even ducks are "prejudiced".  Ha!

I am hoping the other ducks produce a few more.  I know Penguin Girl is sitting a small cache, and Kay is back to it, on a huge mound of eggs.  But... I'm not sure that is working out.  Still, we will see.  I do enjoy watching, waiting, and being surprised by whatever happens.  I think, of the first group, two are definitely muscovys, one may be a 'mule', a cross, if the color is any indication.  As well, now that they are larger, the muscovy ducklings have separated from the potential mule... they just have different ways, I guess.  If she is a hen, I will keep her probably, mule or not.  If that one is a drake, I'll fatten and try to cook and eat.  Curious how different that would be.  Who knows, maybe mules taste 'betterer'!  Doubtful, but... you never know until you know.

Ugh.  So hot!  I think I will go on up and study.  Oh, and I don't have to go spraying tonight.  So I will open up as early as possible, and go on to bed as early as I can.  I have done as much physical work as I can today, so that is that.  Study is left.  Though, maybe, a shower and another shave.  I missed a bunch on my chin!  Ugh  I'll... sort that out.

If I can wake early enough, and if it could be cool, I could do more picking and digging, raking, and gathering and storing of branches and twigs to go.  Damn it, I need it done, want it done, just... it has to be cool enough.  At 55, around 05:00 or so, I could probably work for two or three half hour shifts before it gets to hot... taking little sit breaks as needed.  But it has to be cool... but not cold.  Bleh.  Later.