Still awake.

.

.

Why?  I was trying, and succeeding, at doing small discreet little packets of work.  From clearing, if not cleaning, the freezer top, to waterers, to food, to finishing boxes, and doing a few from the kitchen, and on.  Very little tasks.  Didn't get to dishes.  But... getting closer.

That, in spite of hurting in many ways, all over.  I just hurt.  Ah, I'll take some painkillers, since I have been doing well, the last few days.  Ignoring the pains, and trying.  Oh, and I have been pushing back on to medicine.  I... haven't checked blood sugar in a while.  Nor taken insulin well for days.  Plus I have been eating... poorly.  Even so, blood sugar is 131, after a meal about... three hours ago?  I'll... take that.  I am sure fasting blood sugar may well be nose-bleed high.  But... So be it.  I start where I am, wherever and whenever I am.  I begin from there, and do what I may.

I'll probably take night medicine, for... Wednesday?  I think so.  I'll take night medicine for today, and get the water pills in this evening.

I'll send a text, letting someone know something.  Not that it will necessarily be of any use, but it may be.  I try not to leave others stranded, just because I am crippled.

But... it is about bedtime.  I have done as many smaller and larger tasks as I possibly can.  I still hurt, in so many ways.  My headache, while just a simple one, is rather long-lasting... from when I woke, to of the more severe forms of regular headaches.  I'm... tired, just from that.  Though, toss in the other pains, and efforts, and bedtime calls.

Honestly, though, I am grateful to God for the pain.  It's... all that holds me here.  Or... all I can find, know, see, here.  Pain is what helps me remember I am still alive.  And, if I must be alive, I would rather know it, even if only through suffering.  Another way would be better, but that option doesn't seem to be available.  And, yes, I mean that.  I am grateful for pain.  And the humility it affords.  Finally, a means of a virtue I... greatly desire.  Still not great at it, but... give it time.

Now, on to bed.  After a quick text.  Be well.  Work and play with joy.  Cause a bit of trouble, along the way, just in a kindlier way.  I'll be praying for you as I go to be beat upon by bigger giants, and... maybe even ball one for it's... troubles.  Actually, I only kicked one of it's balls.  Still, caused it to spout vomit.  Not on me, thankfully.  It must have just eaten?  Ha!  Anyway... I'm on to getting my butt kicked in whatever world those dreams happen.  I guess, for good or ill, taking and giving pain is my job.  So be it.