Better?

.

.

A bit.  More so now that I have chosen a path.  And informed those of the path I will be on.  Still, a bit stressed.  That was intense.

I get that a lot.  Some locals, some at church, family.  What was it, something about someone going to the doctor.  The doctor asking what hurts.  Someone tapping on their shoulder, knee, wrist, and so on.  Saying all these things hurt, terribly.  Right.  The doctor, then suggesting that it is the finger that is broken.  The punchline.

If... you are hated by most you know... the problem must be you.  If you are in hell, this could be a good thing.  Save that, well, you are in hell.  But, if you are the one thing, in hell, hated by all others in hell, besides the general hatred from all in hell to all others?  If you don't hate back, or have hate in your soul?

I simply don't fully understand it.  But I don't worry.  I don't consider the man an enemy.  I... simply don't know him.  That hatred isn't an enemy thing.  That... is a problem in his soul.  If I were to discuss it with him, I would honestly suggest he see an exorcist.  Though, I don't think that would help unless he was willing to give up the hate.  I don't think he can.  I don't think he wants to give that up.

Now, do I deserve hate?  That... is a question along the lines of... can God create a rock so big He can't pick it up?  It's... a non-question.  If a Catholic hates someone, that... isn't being Catholic.  At least if Catholicism is Christian.  Choices.  To hate the sin is fine.  If you cannot find it in you to correct great sin, confront it honestly, directly?  Then merely turn your back to the sinner.  Casting a stone?  You could... as he did.  Which... even those who truly wished to stone an obviously guilty woman?  Didn't do, for what Christ said and wrote.  We don't know what He wrote, though, strangely.

Still, a bit riled by it.  Not... as in angry, as in disturbed.  I continue to pray.  Including for forgiveness for whatever may have brought a supposed man of God to such utter hatred.  For my part, though I know it not, I seek forgiveness.  But, too, I ask God release me from the great distress it has caused.  I honestly think he was sitting there, willing me dead, or great suffering in the least.  Possibly both, or torn between the fates desired.  Ask, and you shall receive.  Even this thing.  Be cautious with your wishes, mind you.

I had a few more pieces of chicken, and a kefir.  The kefir first.  I forgot to check blood sugar until after I was finished with the kefir... a slow sip.  It was 164, which is okay.  I just need another vinegar tonic before bedtime.

Sassy has been fed well.  She has one more portion before I go to bed.  I'll check her litter as I do a brb and then fix the vinegar drink.

I'll continue to pray, through time.  To soften whatever it is that is stuck.  As I suggested, that sort of hatred would require an exorcist to manage.  Even if it isn't full possession, if I would guess it is, it... is a deadly sin.  If he holds that against not just me, but many, he... is in serious peril.