.
Omelets, if I could only eat one. Sausage too, patties, four. If I
could only eat two. A fatted unsweetened tea... tea with cream, that
is. Then a vinegar tonic. finishing off with a simple water.
Food! Couldn't, as suspected, eat nearly as much as I had cooked.
Half. But, that's fine.
I would love to eat more but it isn't possibly. I am absolutely stuffed
to the gills. There is time, on the clock. I don't think I ate
until around 14:00~14:30? Started. If it took a while to get it
down... probably half an hour to an hour? Well, eggs to sausage to
vinegar water. Regular water doesn't count, still nursing that, slowly.
I wasn't terribly impressed with my denver omelet(s). I did each
slightly differently. Tasted both, didn't finish either. About...
the sum of one three egg omelet is what I ate, and two three ounce sausage
patties. I think, if I do that again? I'll make that much filling
for just one three egg omelet. It just wasn't enough for two.
Cheese helps fill it out. As well, I won't fry the serrano
peppers. I'll keep those fresh. Onions, tomato, ham, can all get
grilled. Just not the peppers. That totally kills the heat?
Must.
On the good side, I did better at cooking and folding the omelets. Not
perfect, just... better. I cleaned the grill when finished. I...
like staying ahead on that. It almost makes me feel like I am all grown
up. I could cook for others, then do my own food. Let them eat
while it's hot. And I don't mind cleaning up while mine cools. It
doesn't seem to cool all that terribly.
The oils I use are very good for cooking, cleaning, and seasoning after I
finish. Tallow and coconut oil. If I could find affordable solid
lard, I'd get that too. As well, I really need to make ghee. And
keep a half dozen pints down in the longer term larder. But, no seed oil
has touched my griddle while in my possession, and the thing looks and really
is clean, neat, and ready. I have a metal topper, and a cloth
topper. Those do very well. I bought well, and am tending my
equipment. It's... addictive. Couldn't tend my grill so
well. It just doesn't work that way. But this? This I can,
and do, keep up and tight, nice and ready.
I had hoped to do things today. Not sure I will. A shower?
Maybe not even that. But, with food coming in? Maybe tomorrow, or
the day after. Can't lose 3.6 pounds and work well (actually it was 3.7,
as I went from 259.9 to 256.2... the... device doesn't count well, or rounds
up in some odd way)? Bleh. I am sore, and tired.
Oh, and Saturday, it was 264.8. So... Saturday to Wednesday is four
days. In that four days I went from 264.8 to 256.2? That is 8.6
pounds? or an average of 2.15 pounds... 2 pounds 2.4 ounces, per
day? Though, I know I lost 3.7 pounds on that last day, as I weighed in
back to back. Hmm. Crazy. Still... wow.
I do have a headache. Between not sleep well, last night was
horrible. It did add in the nap, this time. But even with that,
sleep score is one of the worst to date. And, yeah, I didn't need the
phone to tell me. I am also exhausted. Will see if the food helps,
and maybe a better night of sleep. Will try to be to bed by 20:00, more
like 18:00 if I can.
I have the windows open, the furnace off. The thermometer is reading 71
in here, in the front room, with the curtain open between the front and back
areas of the house. It is already back down to 50, from 62 as a
high. It looks like it may rain. I, perhaps sprinkled just a tiny
bit earlier. Can't believe it is so dark, wet, and cool still.
Though, I don't mind the slower melt, from the mountains. Too fast and
there could be a lot of trouble. There is already trouble, is some
places. But... it could be far worse. Far, far worse.
An hour after eating, blood sugar is
210. I wanted to test early, so I could go on to bed. But I don't
want to leave it at the one hour high, when it is this high. So I'll
stay up another hour, and check it before then going to bed. I hope it
is lower. Perhaps the body just isn't used to food, mostly, for the last
while. Well, and I didn't have kefir to start it all off. Which
reminds me, I need to get that reset. I'll post my next blood sugar in a
bit.
------------
Not... perfect. Had hoped for better, if expected worse.
Honestly. Blood sugar is 190. Why so high? Perhaps the body
simply isn't used to dealing with solid food? I didn't, couldn't, eat
all that much. So... okay. Still, it is below two hundred. I
guess that will have to do.
When I play this song? It... is of my kin. Not demons. Those
are kin, but not siblings... uncles. These, in this, are siblings, for
the most part. Lost? All of us were born lost, immaculate.
We couldn't know God. Or... so it was thought. I read the new
testament, for the first time, when I was going from seventh to eighth
grade? No, I think I finished it in the seventh grade.
Looking, I was. Seeking. But seeing so much sin, even in the
houses which claimed to be of God. Sex, abuse, self abuses, greed, all
of the sins. I could see into mens'... which includes womens'...
hearts... souls. I could see their sin, their hunger for it. I
knew my own. From a very young age. ... You offer it to me
freely?
I read the new testament five more times, and the last three times, paired it
with a reading of the old testament, as well as referring back and forth as I
would read the other testament, referring one to the other. It wasn't
the book(s) which brought me over. But they did keep the mind...
focused. It was when I realized I had a taste for the... virtues...
aspects of God. And sought them. Then, found they weren't
independent positions, or states, but part of a Being. Then I wrestled
with that Being, and lost.
I think my brothers, and perhaps sisters, might be able to find their way
out. Of the darkness. I can't tell them, or even show them, but I
may be able to help them. Otherwise they are lost. Though, maybe
we are lost? I think otherwise, from what I have learned. Just
that, it's tricky, in our fury, rage, hunger, hatred at times, and whatelse,
to hear God. All I ask is that they take moments, of quiet. That
they ask what it is that is really right and true. And, if they seek it,
to go find it. I... think there is hope. I believe. And,
even if I would be lost? If it were to do God's word, I would accept
that. Death of ego is strong in this one.
One can hope. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Backsass Here