A few bits at a time.

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Oh, and yes, this morning is going colder.  It has been 54 F since it hit that much earlier. It is about 49 as the sky is lighting.  We have the Wasatch range to my east, about twenty miles over, delaying sun rises.  I am curious to see if it will drop a bit more.  I would be out already, just can't move that fast.  I have cleared the shower, so that can happen when I can.  Acid reflex from too much tea, too many peanuts, and too much stooping.  Oh well.

I keep thinking I have missed medicine.  I haven't though, not for a month or two.  It is just, between going to bed and waking up on "different" days and the heat, confusion can happen.  I have been doing excellently.  It really is a good year, even with the occasional drops.  Better yet, now that... well... Everything is off, with the plans.  But, mostly, with ways to keep things in check in the playbook and usually in operation, things are improving.

I am really hungry.  I just don't have much on hand.  I might get something while shopping.  Ugh.  Need to clear the vehicle in hopes of getting a cleaning, oil check, and tire rotation before shopping.  Then...  Hmm, might have breakfast first.  I really don't have a favorite place.  Anymore, one place is pretty much any other place to eat.  Oh well.  There is one place that seems more normal, or last time I visited.  Of course, that has been a while, since my friend was alive.  Time flies, in some ways... while taking a month to wake in a moment.

72.3!

Later.

Very much cooler.

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While 73.6, and falling, doesn't seem all that cool, in dry climates it can be almost chilly. The front room is down to 64.8!  Outside is staying right at 54.  It might yet get cooler out there.  It really can, often does, drop a few degrees as or right before the sun pops.  I guess I thought, mostly, that such tales were false.  Must have something to do with wind creation, perhaps higher in the air column?  Or, I don't exactly know what all, only that it is true.  Sometimes.  As for darkness being greater?  I haven't really noticed that.

It has been a while since it cooled below 75.  I think?  It sure feels cooler.

Trash and recycling are out.  Not sure if it is a recycling day.  It is ready, just in case.  Dishes are going.  I haven't checked laundry.  I put overflow dishes in the shower, so I need to do those before showering.  Just a hit and switch to the bin I was using when the kitchen sink wasn't working.  I'd like to get in, shop, and back before trash is taken, so as to change the cat litter and get that out.  It has at least been cleaned.  I fell down on that the last few days.

Ugh.  It's a great night to work.  I simply have too much to do in too short of a time.  I'll... do what I can.  Later.

Much cooler and not.

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The thermometer suggests it has only dropped to 75.4 and falling.  The front room is down to 67.6.  Outside was 54, or so.  It sure seems cooler than the reading.  Right past cool and almost to chilly.  Actually, I suspect I should shower before the cool claims my work effort.  It is good though.  Great, really.

I have a few things I wish to price check, a few things to buy, and a bunch of chores.  Trash, and maybe recycling, first.  Then setting up dishes and any remaining laundry as I pack.  Hmm, trash and dishes before the shower, just in case.  As to the Xt'er?  I'd like to clear it before heading to town, whenever that might be.  I think I can, even yet tonight. Maybe more.

75.2

I finally oiled the back doors.  That'll let the neighbors rest better while I do my night efforts.  It was rather loud, obnoxious.  Little things like that happen more frequently.  Not only do I like doing the tasks, I am enjoying the results.  I have tried to figure out other things, such as keeping that screen door from banging shut.  Between active and passive mechanics, I have limited frequency and volume of the shutting noise.  A work in progress, along with many others.

All you need to know about home ownership is that your work is never done.  Don't get into a home if you can't pace yourself.  You can't ever stop and you won't ever win.  It is a beautiful thing if you can manage.  I am over my head but getting better.  I am hoping, at least initially with a little help, to... get into the game a goodly bit more.  Knowing, of course, that pacing is primal.  Sometimes work is for it's own purposes, sometimes the other way around.

74.9

I was wrong.

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It didn't matter in the short run.  The heat burned me out.  I crashed hard and fast after that last post.  I didn't see it coming until it was all I could see.  I was afraid, with the cave already, still, at 78 and the sun coming up, hotly initially, that the ac might not help all that much.  I expected a horrible sleep and a terrible wake, with a double dose of heat sickness.

The clouds, haze?  Mixed or matched, it turned into rain, while I slept.  So exhausted I heard nothing.  It was later, to the bathroom, I looked out to realize we got rain.  Must have been a good dose as the driveway was drenched, and it had been a bit.  I wasn't properly attired to check the temp.  Inside it was holding at 78.  Later, when I woke, at 18:00-18:30, the outside was down to the low 70's.  I opened the cave up, but it just isn't cooling, even with fans going.  It might just not be cooling much more out there.

Yeah, work tonight.  What had been planned for the morning.  Maybe more.  It would help if it would cool a bit!  At 77 it's just too warm to dig in.  Perhaps later.

Horrible night for cooling.

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It never dropped below 78 F in here.  I was thinking I must be doing something wrong.  Nope.  It only reached the mid 60's outside.  There just wasn't enough cool out there to work with.  It might end up being partly cloudy, or hazy, if I don't think those will stay or play a role if they do stay.  It just doesn't work like that.  Unless cool comes in as a front it won't change.

The lawn was watered.  Did I miss the last watering day?  No.  Just heat.  Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday are the days for the lawn.  A couple or three waterings of the veggie side yard, very short, as needed.  Still, this is, by far, the best lawn year ever.  It wouldn't, couldn't, win a prize yet, save year over year or more first year to now.  I don't think the previous owners could afford to water their lawn.  I inherited a mess, could do almost nothing about it, initially.  It's nice to see everything green, most of it grass, and with the grass expanding aggressively.  Sure, it's plateauing, but what isn't that is not being drenched?

Getting a few things together.  Difficult to keep focus and push through in this heat.  I am hoping to unload the auto yet today, and get clothes packed.  I can't pack other kit, as I want to shower and shave several times between now and then.  This heat is making things ugly.  I'll... figure it out, always do.  I might get a shower before bed... a treat if I get dishes, unpack the Xter, and pack clothes.

Sometimes I forget.

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I certainly might be a part of chaos, a touch of anarchy in the right sense, a spot of darkness, if I might suggest, hope, of the holy sorts.  Not possible you say?  I say, go look in the mirror and pray.  For me?  Aye, and you.  Amen.  If not holy, that is my intent, and the direction I face.  Whether I travel in that direction, as with any with the will to the Divine, only God knows.  So... yes... I understand the... doubt, fear, even hatred.  If I suspect those who have the latter.

Anyway, knowing these things means I am different.  Right down to how I think, feel, about things.  Sometimes I simply don't understand humans.  Not at all.  It came to me in a dream, with a recent music video as the catalyst for understanding the misunderstanding.

The video is not prideful, or fearful, it isn't about some notion about being grand, or an ego trip.  It is just about one doing, literally or virtually, through an avatar or others or self, his job... doing what he can do because that is what he does, literally and in a metaphysical reality play through.

In the dream, I was doing as in the video.  What you don't get is... the music?  That's actually from my mp3 player.  My work, as exciting as it may look, gets a bit boring.  As I have explained, so I will explain again.  I am, or dream of, one who cannot lose.  I must lose, however, to have hope.  I... haven't figured that all out, not fully, not yet.  I do... think on it, worry, but faith is strong.  I trust when God says He has faith in me.

Sleep was perfect.

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Work helps with sleep.  While I am not doing much, given the heat and my health, I am doing enough.  I only sleep like that when getting enough work in.  Sleep was slightly after 10:30, waking at 19:00.  It is 78 F in here, at 19:30 it was still 84 outside.  Bleh.  Yes, ac the whole time I sleep.  Required, or I would wake up heat sick.  Actually, until some control was obtained regarding bp and diabetes, even then, in this heat, I would just remain heat sick most of the summer.  Then again, being able to tend myself hasn't always been an option.  That, itself, has been derived from slow improvements in health once they stopped trying to deny my real illness and treat the actual health issues.

Oh, an update on a long vexing problem with Sassy, the younger cat.  She used to have a knot of fur on her back.  I assumed she was too chunky to reach it.  So, with some help, I began trimming that.  A temporary fix, but it ensured no open wounds, infestations, or such.  Beyond, if I thought separately, I purchased a water filtering fountain.  It offers a lot more, and better quality water.  Between occasional clipping and a lot more, and better, water, she remains clot-free.  It took three clippings, and having enough water for months, for her to realize and then implement, the opportunity.  The water fountain really helps the girls.  I am thinking of getting a second one, for the front room.  Spoiled?  Yes and no.  Clean healthy cats do their share.  Mousing and social.  Sassy has become an excellent lap cat too.  Oh, it's their, then my, dinnertime.

I need to start packing the vehicle, actually and some unpacking.  Packing luggage.  And generally getting ready to go.  Cat food and litter before I go, and a bit of price checking and other shopping before I go.  I am holding off fasting.  Too much to do to bother tripping over that, I decided.  Ugh.  When I do eventually get to town, I'll do a minor automobile cleaning myself.  Which means I need to unload tonight.

I'm not doing well in prep.  Never do.  Need a wife, a feisty one.  I can pack a trailer full, but a suitcase?  I can move whatever, but a paper on the floor?  Yeah.  Later.

Tasty.

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I know the tortillas are plastacine or something.  But they were rather flavorless.  The meat was spiced well.  The beans were good.  Just something to eat.  I went smaller and less which required seconds.  But I didn't get stuffed.  That is as good as I can do.  Tea might end up filling my gullet to overfull, but it wasn't chow.

It is, at 4:51, just about to drop to 74.9.  It's not terrible.  It just really isn't cool, either.

I have been wandering news and blog sites.  It looks like even heretofore conservative news sites are taking the lib side in attacking Trump.  Must be a LOT of money flushing around.  Deep state is also going full tilt.  I don't think it will matter.  Still, they are trying to get real voters to hate him.  It just won't work.

Even if all of his voters are hatefully prejudiced?  Still would rather see blacks working (other than as agitators, paid by Soros, unions, Hillary, et. al., to burn down their holes and threaten "whites").  If all of us are xenophobic?  Most of us would still rather not be in danger from NorK nukes, or Russian buildups.  The M.E.?   Dealing with lunatics is what it is.  They won't win against Trump, certainly not with their actual racist and xenophobic ways.  A lot of Americans, even some Democrats, have waken, are watching.  Some are walking away... hopefully not to vote for their own cultural and likely literal genocide.  Better not to vote, which is my path, currently.

If Trump is still in it, and alive, he'll get my vote.  If Romney runs (for anything), I'll vote against him.  He just ran a fundraiser for one of the potential Democrat presidential candidates, the ceo or owner of Starbucks.  Republicans don't do that.  He is no Republican.  Can't run as the Dem he is though.  Mormons don't vote Dem and Dems don't vote Mormon.

Well.  A bit of digesting, then bed?  Dunno.  I sure could use some sleep.  Just pretty sure I can't sleep yet.  Later.  Unless sleep happens.

Definitely staying warm.

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As a kid, before air conditioning, I wondered why adults stayed up so late.  Playing cards, pinochle or rarely rummy?  It's because adults hold onto heat, can't sleep well.  We couldn't always sleep either.  Unless we played or worked all day.  I suppose we understood why sleep was difficult in the moment, when that was the case.  It just doesn't follow through, in memory, to the present.  Not for me.

At a few past 2:30 it is still 77, if you round up from 76.8.  It is tough to get going.  I may just nap, with ac.  It is a rough night.  I am hungry, just can't get to cooking.  I may push through, if the tortillas are still good.  Good?  Useable.  Just how shelf stable are things these days?  Spooky.  But the green apples that stayed "good" for months scared me the most.  I finally threw them away out of creepy disgust.  Beef and bean burritos if those are good.

No, I am not upset about tonight.  I get it.  Wouldn't matter where I lived, or with, around, whom.  Maybe I looked rough as well?  People avoid those who look ill, dying.  I can't tell how I look.  I did shower and brush my teeth before going.  Something I wrote?  Recently, or further back.  If it were... it is not fixable if so, or it would have been brought up already.  Just a bit of a depressing realization.  I was born alone, mostly lived alone, and will die alone.  I should be used to it.  Sometimes I forget.

Well, I'll check the tortillas.  I am hungry.  Cheese and a dab of sour cream would be nice.  Maybe if shopping happens, for a later meal.  Later.

Some of it.

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So warm.  So tired.  So late.  I couldn't fight through until 21:00.  It was almost too dark by then.  I suppose I could have used the spot lantern, but that would have been another thing.  I wasn't willing to do more.  So I just did what I could.  It looked pretty good, though I will check in better light tomorrow.  I hit the simple surfaces of the other two windows while up there.  I'll check them as well.  Down to less than half the paint.  Yeah, I'll be getting more.  I have five full windows and two partials left.  I'll try to use what I have before going, get more when I return.

Perhaps shopping, definitely housework.  I'll try to get everything, well priority tasks, done before I go.  Ah, cat litter and food.  Fasting was to begin today, tomorrow through Monday since I have had dinner.  Might have something else yet tonight.  Packing this weekend, and cleaning out the car.  Oil change, tire rotation, and outside and inside cleaning Monday or Tuesday.  I may be done with painting, actually.  For now.

So hot.  Still 78 F, inside.  Lower 70's outside, last I looked.  Almost used to it if I can't do much in it.  Later.

Mistake.

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There comes a time in life where, if you have no connections, you... are done, socially.  Running into it, like a clear glass wall, is sometimes the only way to realize it.  Still, I got out for once.  I'm not worried about feelings, for now.  They will be sorted in time, just not now.  I have things to do.  My guess is, though, even if you have connections, at some point... even those fade.  If you can't keep up, the world says, don't step up.  My mistake.  I won't make it again.  Some of us are less welcome.  The price for some things, if in truth, at some point, one becomes a burden regardless.  I've been that for most of my life now.  I've tried the options.  Even final ones failed.  Now I am cemented into an imperfect life by a true faith.  Deep, severe, humility must be the goal?  Amen.

I have a small list to get.  I woke early to be at an event, shaving and showering first.  Too early and hot to paint yet.   Still a bit too sleepy as well.  Price checking some things, other things I know are poorly priced at amazon.  For some random items, they really jack the prices.  I wish they had a price comparison tool, across all vendors, by appropriate measures.  Sometimes they push the overpricing vendor.  Sometimes they are all ridiculously overpriced.  Thankfully there are still options. To town.

Pretty hot out there.  I am hoping to get the dormers tonight.  Hmm.  Maybe I'll sack out for a bit, back in the ac, be up to paint, then shop later.  Yeah.  Too hot.  Later.

Things sorted.

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I think I set it all up correctly.  One more batch of milk, the rest as they see fit.  Paid up for next month, and the boss for this last month.  Instructions were given for the care and feeding of cats and cave.  He knows the watering, it's the cats that required more info.  He had other things to do, but returned in the evening for driving lessons.

He had a good idea regarding the duck shed as well... screen inner door.  I asked about predators, he said not at night.  After I thought to make it an half door.  However... how about a shorter day door and an added majority upper detached door, so I could get in for cleaning, feeding, and eventual egg collection (when they need to stay in there)?  Could then be totally fenced at night, with good airflow?  Even sometimes in winter.  Maybe.

Driving is improving.  The second run up the hill, and learning downhill... which is easier.  It'll take a while.  I am not remembering, it's total relearning.  There may or may not be one more lesson.  Better, just not an overnight thing, as I had hoped.  Was hoping there might be something left.  When I return I may begin, very slowly, looking for a good Jap-Amer stick, low miles, high mpg, if older... gotta pass inspections and not leak oil.  Yeah, and gold accouterments you say?  See, you DO know!

I may offer him an extra target for extra dollars, if he has the time.  Easy (at least looking) gold has an... allure.  If he has risk-taking traits, as I suspect, he might try for the gold.  Temptations, but good ones.  I really... devil's advocate... changed sides.  He... Satan... isn't a devil though.  Another of his lies.  Demons literally cannot help themselves.  -  Odd, or really not... Google blogger spell finisher?  Won't finish the word "demon"!  Devil?  Sort of, or twice during spelling including after all but the "l", but not demon.  Talk about knowing one's master, and abiding his plans.  -  Same gag, different gig, and venue.  Trust me, don't trust me, if you don't have faith.  *grins*

It was too late to paint.  No worries, I'll get it done before I go.  Later.

Hmph, you never know.

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I was starting to slip.  Laundry was cycled, one should be dry, the last will go into the dryer.  Dishes are rinsing.  I got the shower.  No shave, fading.  In skipping the shower I salvaged the trip to the post.  A special prize waited.  A good print of the Douay-Rheims and Vulgate, side by side.  Fodder for Latin, this winter probably.  Can't do it in summer, work season, what I can do, but all I can do, at least without ac.

It's already 77 in here, at not quite 11:00.  I will make a call, check some things.  I canceled eggs, need to cancel milk, starting tomorrow.  Already paid.  Don't want to short the farmer.  Perhaps she knows someone who would like to try it.  Also curious if the boss was ill or busy.  Or forgot lessons.  Well, maybe get milk tomorrow, to take in a cooler, with eggs?  Yeah.  Still... arrangements and checking.

Up at least a bit more.  Might try to push longer.  Packages arriving, and just an attempt to claim more of the day and finish a few chores.  Ah!  Figured out why it's so warm so early.  The fan in the front room is on.  It's only 73 out there.  That is backwards.  Easy fix.  Good morning and day.

Maybe not as I would have had it.

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I really wanted to paint.  Not so much an ego, as completion, thing.  Sometimes it just doesn't go as planned, hoped.  For a while I wasn't sure anything would get done.  The main part of the cave has dropped into 73, the front room to 69!  I went ahead and closed everything up, in case I crash.

Could not so did not.

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Too hot, so it seemed to me, until not only too dark but, really, too late.  It's just past 2:00, hitting 55 F range outside, while stubbornly staying at 76.6 in here.  Fans make it seem cooler.  If it feels artificially cooler.  Perhaps I just wasn't really ready for work tonight.  Or maybe it was simply hotter, enough to throw me.

I won't call it a complete wipe, not yet.  I am holding out for domestics, as it cools, if it cools?  A few loads of laundry, dishes are going, and finishing the bathroom.  More, if possible.  Really hitting the kitchen would be good too.  I'll know more soon.  Still warm, and I am feeling it.

The watering timer?  Shot.  Doesn't maintain hour or day.  It's hopelessly lost.  Will see about a return or warranty, if...  Well, I will look into it.  If the product is good, warranties are good.  If it's a bad product, they already know and killed the lights while hitting the door, with your money.  I'll need to get my four way splitter back.  Uhmhm.

I'd like to eat.  I don't have much to choose from.  Cooking doesn't sound fun quite yet.  I'll thaw burger.  That will take up enough time to cool the place.  I'll change bedding on the way, toss that in as the first load.  Responsive music seemed more mellow today... if that is what it is.

Well, on to chilling in hopes of real cooling then work.  Later.

I don't quite get it.

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Ya.  Sure.  I can psychically steamroll, if I see the need, from archangels down.  Check.  Still, I think I have been rather... mild? lately?  Milquetoast?  At the very least, mild.  The feedback though!  You'd think I suggested something pointed, true, and invisible until I pointed it out, irrefutably.  That can't be the case.  Though... it is women, not a woman, who are... writhing, gnashing teeth, and all.  I can... sense pain, yeah.  Not hatefully, at least, just hurt?  Odd.

Awake early.

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A lot earlier.  I went to bed a little earlier.  I think because it cooled off earlier?  It is only in the mid 80's out there now, in early afternoon.  But it felt muggy?  I just woke, so sensations aren't always to be trusted.  Sleep seemed pretty good, with a minor nightmare... a deer in the road, one of those winding roads.  A cliff without a guard rail to my right, two-way two lane road with a blind curve immediately ahead and behind... I know the place, up Logan Canyon.

I couldn't stop or steer away.  I simply had to slow as much as possible and take the hit.  It isn't premonitional.  My friend, who died some time back, was with me.  And had quite feared I would swerve.  I told him, he being on the outside, I had certainly considered it.  His eyes grew big and almost fearful in an odd moment, until I burst out laughing.  He joined a few seconds later.  Mostly.  He really wasn't always... sure about me.

Good thing I didn't go into the oncoming lane.  A fully loaded semi popped around the corner, blaring it's horn as it finished off the beast, or so I suspected.  I worried, for a moment, that driver was going to come into my lane.  When passed, and the danger was over, I had my own nervous little spell of chuckles.  Not a horrible dream, just... tight.  And it kept reviewing the choicer parts, as if to see if something wrong could still be elicited.  I refused to let 'history' be changed.

I couldn't stop and do anything... double blind, at highway speeds.  But at the next letoff, to the side of the road, I called it in.  A rough place to have a deer carcass.  Checked the damage.  None, really.  I must have slowed more than I thought.  Then, as mentioned, the dream rewound, several times, back to the choicest bits.

My mother called this morning.  I called back but she is busy.  All good.  At least we both know.  The ladder is set up for painting this afternoon or early evening.  There remains only one window needing a first coat.  I will do that first in hopes that it will be dry enough to do a second coat before the night is finished.  I would like to finish the dormers tonight, and the two lower windows.  I won't be doing a complete painting with the second coats, just the facings and any missed nooks.  Getting there.  I would also like to start the chainsaw, let it run for just a bit.

The work, little as it is, has been beefing me up.  Calves and arms are hardening.  It feels good.  If someone could manage the stupid house stuff, I could get some real work done.  I love working on the house, trees, mechanical, and suchlike.  Always tripping on the dishes, food, and such.

Neurosis.

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God bless them.  Born of, to, it.  And, yet, sometimes, they build a life out of it.  One swell enough for two, to start.  Yeah, I... I...  Well, I... hope.

Oh, just a little thing.

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I wanted to see if I had mojo.  So I went out, broke the ladder down, from extension to folding, moved it to where I would next need it, sized it for the specifics, and... that was that.  It wasn't terrible, I simply didn't, don't, have more for that sort of work.  I am thawing more burger for something.  Meat crumble, some for with beans, some to be used in an egg casserole.  It's what I have.

I have slowly been buying parts for watering, while mostly keeping up on that chore.  A timer, if that may not work out, to quick disconnect fittings, various sprinklers to try, extra hose, and more.  I think I have what I need and want.  Perhaps, as I sort what works, obtaining spare parts or whole units might be good.  It seems as if, when a company, by accident(?), creates a good product they then stop making it.

I am hoping to get back to laundry, starting with bedding, then on to dishes.  Perhaps other minor work, like cleaning the bathroom.  Who knows.  I may just rest.  I may not have a choice.

The replies I receive, music for music...  I think... at least lately... has been... pleasing.  Some bird or birds are cheery about some of it.  Goodie.  Later.

Sleep was fantastic.

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Work grants the finest sleep, unless I overeat of body or mind through it.  There are, that is, limits.  My limits are a bit more severe.  Still, I can get things done.  Not sure about tonight.  I would like to paint the dormers and lower windows.  Not sure that will happen.  While it is cooler, it seems as if it may have rained.  That mostly just made it humid.  As well, even with a good rest, my body is a bit worn.

Another dream... my last love, with me on a road trip.  Visiting relatives on my side.  Usually it isn't a problem, but this time they had other other company.  No room.  No worries.  We went looking for a place to stay.  A bit... excited to find a place.  Both of us feeling frisky.  The first place was full, some local event, but the deskman knew of a place.  Excited, not rushed.  A very fine time.  It was going to happen and be quite good.

I'll finish waking, do music and gaming, then see what I can get started, finished.

That was it.

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Watering was the last I could do.  A meal was made, then... drifting.  Sometimes that opens doors which opens other things.  So it was.

Troubles, as usual.

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The water timer is messed up.  Of course, tinkering while it is in play messes things up.  Getting valves to close when open, and the like, is tricky.  It should have a simple close switch, by valve, and an all close button.  Not well designed, too complicated, and I am beginning to think it doesn't work as claimed.  I'll know more shortly.  For tonight I will do it manually.

A storm passed through.  The paint needs two hours.  I think it got it.  I hope.  It wasn't much rain, enough to make everything look wet,not enough to water anything.  I am surprised we got any rain.  I don't expect it this time of year at all.  Even August doesn't get much rain.  Or, as I recall events.

One more run, after switching sprinkler locations in the front yard, and that is that.  Running all a bit longer because I think I failed to water last time.  Double time doesn't work well, but a little extra does help.  I'll see if Wednesday works as it should.  Had trouble getting things to work right.  Might tinker with it when it is day and I am not trying to make it work while it is running.  The time and day were off though.  Perhaps someone else was messing with it, or it doesn't work, as suggested.

Well...

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Showered and shaved, in that order as it turns out.  I used the single blade safety razor this and last time.  I think it actually works better and is easier on the face.  So what is the double blade razor good for?  Skill training and using machismo to get you over fear of such razors.  I can whip the single blade razor around like a pro, without a nick.

As to painting...  It was still 75ish F when I thought to go out, inside and outside.  And the wind was nasty.  Up I went.  I finished all but the dormer on th roof, first coats.  I just... I was done with the ladder and climbing for the night.  The last window should be easy.  As well, a second coat for the other windows up there while at it.  I am surprised I got through the more difficult windows.

I am hoping help arrives, for the final coat on the ladder required upper windows.  Doing half, with help with the ladder... cake.  The other windows are easy enough to solo.

Next, to get watering set up, check how or if certain arrangements work, tinker it to the best, or only viable, configuration.  After a rest.  The ladder is a transformer, extension to folding, up to 30 feet?  More?  Able to handle 350 pounds, extended, I think.  I weighed... more when I bought it.  It's a monster to move, especially when two thirds extended, in wind, with gusts.   A bit foolish but done.

A break, then back to things.  Ugh.  Later.

Up and about to shove through.

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A shower and shave first, opposite order.  Then to painting, right as fast as I can.  The goal is the window on the roof, two upper windows on the sides, and the last lower window.  I might run out of light, so I'll save the the roof window for last.  It is the only window I have access to power for the light(s).  Did I mention?  I found the bulbs for the lanterns.  Hmm, may have to buy (another, since the other longer one was stolen... expensive!) three prong extension cord, if 50 feet is about as long as they work for heavier applications... in my stretched at that price price range.  Or, last I looked.

As well, I want to set up automatic watering.  It will give me a while to see how well it works, then figure out arrangements, as to placements, so as to leave explicit instructions.  Less work, more frequent though.  If I get that, then maybe the bathroom and where else I left off.  I'd best get going.  Hot or not, I plan to push through.  Later.

No work.

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Couldn't.  Just... couldn't.  I had a good dinner.  Some of the best tomato meat sauce for spaghetti I've made in a long time.  The only thing missing was a few anchovies mashed in olive oil, them mixed into the sauce.  A very good dinner though.

It would be good, if risky, to paint.  Overcast, but sprinkling, at least a bit earlier.  Hold that cool for later!  I just can't.  Perhaps later.

Often I fear trying new songs.  Some just... don't do anything, but many annoy, in one to a hundred ways.  Still, sometimes, I take that chance.  Opening my heart to more beautiful wounds.  And, yet, the pain is all that is holding me together and upright.  It might as well be beautiful and honest.  As well, I have some tender wounds to share.

Good morning, day, and night, Bane, Desert Cat, darkfoam, and Jean.

More.

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Not much more, or yet.  I did get the last window sanded.  I am ready to paint at will.  I believe I will be hitting the unpainted windows first.  Thinking on things, I am beginning to suspect I will need an extra gallon.  Which is fine.  I ran out of light by the time I started, to do more.  Could I have started earlier?  By temp, probably.  Not by readiness. Which is part of why I am trying to beef up before I go to my mother's.  I want to be in better shape for there.  Though, with house ac, and regular food, even with humidity, it should be easier.  It doesn't hurt to get ready though.

Hmm? Oh, right.

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Such strange dreams, again.  As an analogy, imagine walking into an aviary at night, while all are asleep.  Mkay?  Then dropping your flashlight, both making noise and triggering from spot to daylight-like lantern mode.  Mkay?  The cacophony that could erupt?  That... you... I am causing, then sensing, a disturbance in the force.  At times, I infuriate women.  Other times it is men.  Sometimes it is both.  Sometimes I loose them, one sex, or even individual, upon the others.  I... don't do, with intent, I'll remind you, I just... do.  Or, at this time.  I really did this time.  I am receiving a flood of conflicting spots of dreams and thoughts.  I touched a nerve (bundle), or dozen, on every side.  War has been loosed.  You ought to see when I try.  The truth will set you free.

That's that.

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I did get everything in and put away.  I couldn't get back to it, even now.  Another problem, anyway, is that there was no bulb with the lamp I pulled out.  It says it is included. It wasn't.  I have several others. Not hopeful.  Simply to tired to do that now.  As fast as I was able to work, if I can get to it tomorrow, I will.  I might paint.  Sunday and all.  In my condition, if I can work I have to work.  My next opportunity is a great unknown.  I won't promise anything, just saying.

I finished to putting up two loads of laundry.  One more load is dry, another drying, then I'll handle those.  Then, maybe, dishes.  A shave, shower, and cleaning in the bathroom tonight yet?  Maybe.  Trash and recycling at least set to go tomorrow.  Yeah, maybe.  With a cooler day perhaps a cooler night, or cooler quicker?  One can hope.

I even called my mother for her new address.  She had that, but not her p.o. box.  A bit of phone tag, an easy short one this time.  Didn't work, but I know why.

Blood sugar was a few points over 200 earlier, even fasting today.  It is down to 144.  Fasting again tomorrow.  Out of most meats.  Don't want to replace until I get home.  Steaks are disappearing.  Might have to lock the freezer.  Drug zombies everywhere, if that might not be all.  I really don't want to, but spaghetti and meat sauce will do.  Not good for diabetes, but cheap and easy in the short run.  Well, I do have plenty of eggs.  If there is a limit on any one thing.  I am not close to it, with them, but could overdo in a hurry.

Later.

Two out of three.

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Windows, sanded, so far.  Tonight?  Maybe.  I am all set up for it.  Moving the ladder, alone, is a bear.  But holding onto the ladder with one hand, while using the grinder, stretched well out is pretty testing.  I thought about painting in place, as I finished grinding.  I didn't end up liking the idea for several reasons.

That was some nap.

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I don't think ten and an half hours count as a nap, actually.  I did set the alarm for two different times.  I knew I was going down hard, hoped I could manage.  Nope.  A beautiful sleep though.  I must have needed it... heat build up.  If I have a good idea about why else I couldn't wake.  A weak front moved in, it is overcast.

That last means it is cooler today.  It is 82, for now.  A good temp to work in, especially with the sun partly blocked.  I just hope it holds, so I have time to wake, and find my painting shirts.  I can't, always, usually, just pop out of bed and hit it.  I suppose I could more often, even today, but until wires are attached correctly I have a high probability of little and or big mistakes which lead to more work or injury.

I... am not sure.  Painting or paint removal first?  Hmm...  I think paint removal.  Why?  I can paint almost any time, to later in the night than removal anyway.  It isn't loud.  Paint removal is extremely noisesome, and needs better light.  I have three windows left to strip, all high up, each requiring two different ladder placements.  That doesn't sound too bad, until you count in all involved, two different tools up and down, and balancing while working.  I really ought to consider scaffolding... nah.  Putting those up is a lot of work.  If I was going to work on the stone walls, maybe, but they have been done recently.  Although, for painting the interior... if that is a while off.

I am thinking of saving several $k, after a new furnace and central air, and getting cleaning done, then figure out maintenance costs after that.  My mother may or may not want a part of that?  I want to be as hands off as possible.  Gotta keep a bit of an eye on things though.  Women don't think right sometimes.  We'll see.

Fasting starts today.  Just today and tomorrow this time, as I want to work.  With blood sugar good, and last week in the immediate rearview, I don't mind a short one.  I'll make my rounds, find what I need, and get to it before too long.  Later.

A nap?

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Will try.  Not getting anything done.  A meal in, at least.  Blood sugar is averaging 137 this week, 147 last.  Lower would be good.  Oh, it's time to fast.  When I wake.  I will have milk before bed, perhaps fruit and cottage cheese as well.

Just not clicking.

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I had the plans set.  It did take longer to cool off.  I had a light ready to go, didn't worry.  Then, when I got ready, I realized the light was three prong.  I have (had) a longer three-prong.  Either it is misplaced or, as with many things, has been permanently "borrowed".  I know where I put it, where it should be.  Haven't used it since my last Christmas light adventure.

Now, I stewed about it for a bit, then could have kicked myself... if there was a point to that.  I realize I could have opened a window or two, and probably had as many lights up there as I have or want.  Learning takes time.  The heat doesn't help.  Slowly I will have arrangements and preps.  I will have that done and saplings, and tree shoots cut, before I go.

I should be able to do work in the morning.  Painting.  I don't want to run powertools too early.  Though, to some degree, it will have to be one or the other, early or late.  The last time I worked when it was nearly 90 it looked like I had bobbed for apples in boiling oil, plus been bit by bees in several places, and that was in the shade... if I had failed to drink enough tea.  I... am little shy of working in that high of a heat, especially with no place to truly cool off.

Dishes and more laundry, if to be honest, doing anything while it is still 80 in here is difficult.  I would sleep if I could.  Bah.  High summer antics.  I'll survive, and get to things.  Later.

Hot.

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Awaken earlier.  Annoyed at first, but it was for a good cause.  Boys will be boys, more so on their way to becoming men.  Hopefully after.  Back to sleep even so, after arming the younger one with special items for his trials.  A bit more sleep and it was time to rise.  Dreams, if I only remember knowing.  I usually know I am dreaming.  Dreams, native ones, are fragile to my conscious mind so I tread gently there.  I think we need to dream, so crushing them with too focused of awareness, or will to alter, will dispel the needed psychic cool, or hard, waters.  These dreams were cool waters, if I have learned to cherish each.

Can I pout yet?

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Planning to sleeping, even with the best intention, can, did, mean nothing.  I couldn't sleep.  To warm.  No.  Hungry?  Yes but not that hungry.  I gave up and grilled a cornish game hen.  I think I'll get six more of those... a great light meal for a giant sort, ogre perhaps.  Add a potato and veggies and it works as a feast.  They are either 20 or 24 ounces, if after considered, if not qualified quantitative, analysis, I'd guess a third of the relevance of the bird is bone or otherwise inedible.  Still, a joyous little meal.

Some things going.

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It didn't cool of fast enough for me to work outside.  It didn't seem like it to me anyway. Even with a spotlight, I don't want to be fussing past 22:00.  It is annoying, potentially, to neighbors.  And they already endure my strange ways, words, and writings.  So...  I may sleep, hoping to get up early enough to paint while cool.

Blood sugar got back down to 128.  I have had food since, peanuts.  I am hungry for more but not up to cooking.  Bp was good if not superior.  I have caught up on medicine, but keep slipping near the edge of missing.  Sleep is wonky and heat is heavy.  Things slip.

I just don't have enough cross breeze through the cave, especially west to east.  There needs to be a breeze, fans don't do it.  Ac only works in the room it is in.  At least the place stays fifteen degrees, often, cooler than the outside high.  It's getting it to cool later that's the sticking point.

I have started research on ducks.  Not a lot of luck so far.  A major concern is water in the winter.  Though knowing how long they live, the right feed, and many other things, remain unknown.  The breed is a type of runner.  Their eggs are actually prized for baking, though great just cooked.  Bits and pieces, nothing coherent.  If I do meat, I may just buy those chicks, and raise them separately.  I have three buildings which would work.  I may just try different breeds, culling all, so I don't have two safes (landlocked group of ducks) always.  I may even try meat chickens to compare, once I get the first safe figured.  If it works.  Yes, excited... and apprehensive.

If ducks are on the water they are called a raft, bunch, paddling, team... and some others.

I'd best nap if I want to try to work in the morning.

Ducks.

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I don't think I mentioned?  My source of chicken eggs, and occasional duck eggs, has a... problem.  One of his duck hens went broody.  Sixteen little surprises have hatched.  These aren't meat ducks, however.  Eggs it seems.  He was looking to sell a few.  I... have doubts, fears.  I asked a lot of questions.

In one way I was a very hard sell.  A lot of rather direct questions.  I was already almost sold, on the other hand.  An easy sale, after more information.  I won't be taking possession until my return.  I need to clear and clean one of the outhouses, perhaps build nesting boxes, cut an opening and put in at least one window, get a kiddie pool and feed...  I am not sure if leaves work, or if hay is required for bedding.  I will, eventually, build an automatic feeding system and develop a watering system, heated for the winter.

Six to eight ducks.  A starter kit.  I would sure like meat ducks too, if I am not sure... interbreeding might become a major snafu.  Unless I replace the layer breed drake with a meat drake and added meat hens... hoping any replacement hens born of any mix could still put out good eggs, with the meat breeds putting out dinners?  Unless they breed to their own?  It'll be a learning process until it isn't.  On the good side, I have the previous owners for advice.  We may end up learning from each other.  Hmm... if I wanted defense?  Geese.  Not sure, might need fencing with them.  Might end up needing yard fencing as is?  Learning.

It is already down to 82, was an hour ago.  Hasn't changed yet.  I have started going out for short strolls, to give Sam some appreciated attention, look over my humble kingdom, and... just be alive in and enjoy the summer.  Another hour or two and it could be time to open up the cave and go to work.  It got down to 48 last night.  A duplication would be wonderful.  Though, I suppose, extra cool nights are more of a luxury... to be enjoyed as much for their rarity as simple pleasure.

There are the eggs, but also just having critters.  Perhaps they will get me out even more.  If I have to fence, I may look at meat geese, meat chickens, and a milk/meat goat/kid.  If you go country, go all in?  I wonder if a goat can bed in with ducks?  Research material, if experience will tell the real story.  Well, then, I'd almost have to get a dog.  I'd... better relax, and just see how I do with ducks, innit.  Later.

A bit of a lazy day. So far.

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With yesterday I am okay with that.  I even watered the lawn last night, manually.  It's a lot of work.  Moving, switching things, but easier than before adding quick change fittings.  And they don't leak, at least when treated right, on lighter duty, and so far.  I can't believe how well the grass is finally doing.  Now to fill a few areas.  Grass is pushing into to more barren or weedy areas, seed will just help.  I would like to pen in the areas.  As much to keep mowing out as to be able to track growth.

I didn't get to more work last night, other than that... well, and putting one of my minor work/spot lights together.  I have been sleeping as I can, in odd shifts.  I don't have a day or night.  I don't sleep a set amount.  I attempt to sleep more in the cool and dark, but take what I can when I must.  Summer is wearing on me, but I... after work yesterday... am getting into it.  As long as I work some, go outside from time to time, sit and sleep enough, and cool off when needed, it'll work out.  I may not have a square day, but it is deep summer.  Gear, plan, and live for it.

Eggs for breakfast.  Blood sugar was a bit high this morning.  I took the Boss for pizza last night.  Once, even twice, a month is fine.  And it isn't that high.  I should make mushroom and burger pizzas again.  I really love pizza type foods.  With the lower carb tomato sauces, purees, and such, it's good with diabetes.  I'll check blood sugar again in a bit.  If I don't nap soon.  I'd like to paint tonight as it cools, a nap might make that more likely.  Still hungry... popcorn!

I have a cornish game hen thawed for supper.  I don't know, something about eating a whole bird, my own bird, makes me feel like a king.  Split, flattened, then grilled.  Basted, with butter this time.  That, green beans, a potato or half, and milk will be my desert for painting.  If I can, I might paint the one raw window and the four already painted windows.  Which leaves four more windows to be scraped and painted.  Actually, I might be able to get a first coat on one of those?  Maybe.  Some haven't needed prep.  If I get half way, or more, through, I'll have dinner.  I'll save the easier ones for later.  I'll put a load going in the washer and reset dishes.  Bleh.

Later.

Fantastic nap, even better shower.

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I should have showered before going down.  Couldn't.  I was glad to finally drag my sorry but to bed.  Besides, bedding and laundry are on the very short list.  So down I went, if I had to cool off then get up to go down first.  I have learned a few tricks about showering... or come full circle back to some things.  I don't know what behaviors I lost or had to surrender to health decline.  As health is upgraded, if marginally, I am taking full advantage, and then some.

I seem to have been correct about blood sugar.  A gallon down, a nap, cooling, and a shower, blood sugar is down to 129, or less.  Food was not an issue, just heat and hydration or lack of it.

Ah, the moisturizer?  Don't use it on your face.  Probably nowhere sensitive!  I do use the soap there, when I want to clean down to the shine.  But I have... I like brisk risks.  Some of them.  Lesson learned.  I'll... have to think about the face.  Hmm, maybe I have some after shave stuff... but is that good for the whole face.  After peppermint... I'll try it.  It won't be as bad.

Perhaps driving tonight. If I am back in time, the plan is to do the three dormer windows over the roof tonight, then bedding and laundry plus dishes.  Tomorrow, if up early enough, back to sanding windows.  Early and cool, or much later.  That and back to wherever in domestics I left off.

I might be back to it.  I want to get back into some kind of shape before visiting my mother.  I going am there to work.  I want to throw myself into it as deeply and heavily as I can.  For it, I will request a few days down, food, and a favor... help seeing me somewhere at a righteous time.  For that, or either way, I will do what I can.

Nice.  More fridge cold tea.  Minted.  Fresh.  Later.

Painting.

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It was 88 or so, and, yet... with help on hand we got to it.  Up the ladder.  First the angle grinder with steel brush treatment, then to painting.  Prep is no small part of it.  Getting the ladder configured and in place, mixing paint, setting up the sander and angle grinder, plus the power cord.  Lots of little and big things, here and there.  And nearing 90 F, everything is felt.

One upper and lower window trim was stripped and painted as needed.  On the good side, there were two of us, so while one was working, the second could hand things up or whatever else needed on the ground, if mostly allowed time to cool off.  It's  a good way to work, if you can.  Most of the world... frowns on such effort however.  Me?  I like being the limit.  I push as I may, if I don't think it affects the boss, not much.

We worked two to three hours.  Probably should have driven in the heat, worked in the cool.  Next time.  Oh, the hoses were fixed, checked, and mostly put up as well.  I got several sets of fittings from different companies because China.  They don't do non-metric, or even metric, well.  I was proven correct.  Even then it isn't optimal.

I... really need to remember to drink out there.  With company, and while working outside, it is easy for me to forget.  My face was beat red, and blood sugar spiked to over 200, I think from a sort of dehydration.  Definitely need to drink, even while driving... the right drink.  Yeah, I'll see about a canteen of tea for this afternoon.

I have ordered more of the right repair kits, a few more inline shut-offs, and several quick connect kits, some to be gifted.  Good work is worth pay and outright bribery.

Now, a refrigerated nap, then a shower.  Of course, after we finish it gets partly clouds and goes down to 82.  ;p  Later.

Will probably be sleeping more.

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Too warm, the cave isn't cooling as much lately, so retreating to the air conditioned bedroom, for now, is the only way to get cool.  I am not sure when I went down, perhaps 3:00, give or take.  Running the ac for just a bit at night almost guarantees a morning wake... the heat from the rising sun does it.

Fasting blood sugar is 118.  I won't do bp until later, at least several hours after medicine.

After watering last night, I moved the hoses for mowing.  I had hoped to be up to that today, but not.  And I have an appointment anyway.  Still, having the watering systems out of the way helps.  With the rider, moving the sprinklers and hose is the hardest part, if not the most time consuming. I will probably need a nap before heading in.  And a shower and shave.

It looks like the summer doldrums are upon us.  The mid 90's F, at least, mostly, until possibly a few cooler days in August, but really either September or October before some real cool returns.  I still prefer having deep winters and summers.  The hard changes mean preparation and time-outs.  At least for me.  Mostly.  Even so, central air would help a great deal.

For now it is what it is.  It is cooling enough, outside, with enough light to work, for me to get to painting, and sanding.  Well, calking to, up on the roof in a few places.  Which reminds me... while in town, some of the heavier silicon, and a gun if I can't find one before I go.  As well as sidewalk calk, if that is different.  Plus cat food and litter.  Twice daily litter cleaning sure makes litter last longer.  Adding a bit more from time to time helps quite a bit.  Don't need it immediately but am completely out.

It would be good to clear the car, then get it cleaned.  Probably just a wash today.  Oil change soon as well.  Perhaps a complete clean before I head out?  Yeah.  It's good to be up on all that.  Long trips are spooky as vehicles age.  Rambling?  Aye.  Later.

Strange how music finds me.

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I was pondering... something... someone... the other day.  Pulled to this unlikely song.  It tested my patience.  I stuck with it.  I think so, it is right.

Getting started.

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One of the packages was a multivariable sprinkler, for the gardening sideyard area.  I figured it wouldn't be variable enough, if I had already probably solved the issue.  Needing two hoses t get to the area, I purchased inline ball valves so I had a shut off closer than the hydrant.  Well, a ball valve doesn't have to be shut completely.  Even so, absolute perfection can't be had, if my rig gets very close.  Done.  And the sideyard is getting watered. Now I can hook up the timer and have it mostly automated.  I will have to turn the hydrant on, then turn it off, as it leaks no matter my efforts to curtail that, but I am satisfied with that.

I have the cave opened and fans going, for as little as that is seeming to help.  I did find one of the windows still open, a worse west facing one.  It is cooling out there, at night, but that isn't helping much in here.  Yeah, central air, with the new furnace, next spring.  I won't needlessly suffer this damnable heat another year.  Window ac's don't cut it, and cost a comparative fortune to run.  Still, I will be buying another and bringing the one upstairs down.  It does nothing for me up there.

Heck of a world and way.  I have a potato baking.  When the timer for the sideyard indicates shutoff time, I will light the grill and put veggies on.  When it is going, I'll put a steak on.  The second, non-fasting, aftermeal blood sugar is 126.  BP is 119/90, p. 96.  Good enough.  Small steak, half a potato, and half the veggies.  If I am still hungry, or become hungry, I'll have a light snack later.  Trying to keep feeding to a six hour window.

Later.

Up and down all day.

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No choice, if I am surprised I could do it.  I was sick, fried, when I crashed.  While tunnel vision had backed off some, stars were still on the extended periphery.  Actually, that remains unchanged.  Still, I had packages incoming.  And with the heat I didn't want things to cook out there.  I set my small portable kitchen time for two hours, and hoped.

I honestly didn't think it would, could, wake me.  It turns off after some time as well.  Oddly, it woke me, each time.  There were three delivery services, all arriving at different times.  Three resets, at two hours per, and everything was in... I could just sleep from then on.  Running the ac actually ended up hurting my leg.

It is the cold, I now realize, that had my leg hurting this spring.  I had wondered if it was the cold or a lack of minerals.  Being on daily vitamins and extra occasional minerals now, I am sure it was the cold.  When I first went in, it was hot.  I turned the ac on full blast and slept without blankets but couldn't stir until the alarm.  By then my leg had the severe ache.  I'll have it for several days.

I was hungry first thing.  I reheated the uneaten half of the steak.  I thought about a potato, or can of veggies.  No, hungry.  Now.  I did manage to do a blood sugar check before diving in.  Barely.  It was 99.  Wow.  I thought my feast would have ruined the numbers.  BP is 127/95, p. 98.  I pushed things, and it is really hot in here.  Still, that isn't bad.  Oh, and... medicine.  I'll check in a couple hours after taking it, missed this morning too, if I might be able to make it all up.  Still?  Wow.  Not bad for being on the verge of passing out for four hours, probably on the cusp of death.  Woot!  Love me some risk.  Frisky!

Black, at the speed of light.

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Wow!

I haven't been that close to passing out in... ever?  I saw stars last time I stretched fasting.  This time my entire peripheral vision was stars, tunnel vision came and was narrowing to a pinpoint.  And as mentioned, darkness was coming at me so very fast.  I got food in me as quickly as possible.  While it took several meals and snacks and four hours when passing out was imminent, I made it.  As soon as I was safe, I began checking things.  Blood sugar was fine, at 114.  But bp had crashed.  I'll bet it had been lower.  At the time I read it, it was 103/68, pulse 80.  I am guessing it really dipped.

I really would rather stop.

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I am really hungry.  I think it is mostly mental.  I simply want food.  Plus it hasn't cooled off outside, so isn't cooling off inside.  I am being chewed up by two annoyances.  Yeah. I'll keep to my fast anyway.  At least for tonight.

I hit the dishes, watered the front yard for a bit, did some work on my feet and legs, and will finish the dishes soaking.  I will also set up the last dishes, get trash and recycling out... at least out of the door, and get laundry back to be ready tomorrow.  A shave?  Maybe, and shower, after the trash is out.  Will need the ac and door shut.

Blood sugar is 111.  I only check bp a few random times a day now.  If the reads are good enough, I don't bother checking the other arm.

I'd love to make an egg casserole for whenever I start eating.  But with the heat staying I won't.  If I am going to cook, it's better to do it during the day heat, where it really isn't noticed.  I wonder about chocolate pudding?  If it is stove top prep, that wouldn't be a problem.  Perhaps jello as well, with fruit, pears.  Or... just refuse out, a nap, then see from there?  Yes.

I noticed vids, from long ago, being stirred.  Some of laments, some of possible realizations.  Strange.  Someone(s) went digging, and fairly deep.  There is either a mismatch of when those were viewed and when that became apparent, or the viewer(s) aren't showing up as having visited.  I suspect they are running invisible, by the nature of what was viewed.

Later.

It is getting hot in here.

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Even though I cooled the place off last night, the sun is really hammering the place today.  Last I looked, it was 94 F or so outside.  Inside it is up to 78.  I don't mind that so long as I can cool the place down, even to 72, at night.  It should be cooling enough, or almost, to open things back up.  If the final trick I figured out last night works as it did, it won't take long to shove the heat out again.

Blood sugar spiked to 152, then has dropped back to 124.  BP is at 118/82, pulse 79.  Good.  Great, really.  Now to get food intake to maintain it.  It is both volume and variety, not just how that seems.  Too much or too little, other than true fasting, can be a problem.  True fasting has serious limits.  As well, some carbs are very good, with a neutral effect on blood sugar.  Red meat is excellent, the fatter the better.  Beside not liking lean, it actually turns to sugar drastically quicker and more of it.  From what I have seen, cholesterol problems seem to be an age, not food, thing.  And they don't have a way to fix it.  Their idea of a fix is akin to doing facelifts as a cure for old bodies.

As soon as it is cooler outside, and I open things up, I may take a nap.  Well, after dishes.  If that all works out, on to bedding and laundry.  Later.

A great day.

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I reversed my wake-up time by three hours.  In hangover mode for it.  No, no alcohol involved.  Changing sleep patterns that quickly will do just the same.  In spite of it, actually in part because of it, is why the day is good.  I love beating the odds.  Of course, now I have to continue the process.  Grueling.  But... I love the gruelling.  Wish I could do more of the useful sort of it.

I was able to break my troubled sleep cycle by figuring how to cool the cave.  It was getting and staying about 75 F or more.  Day after day and, as a low, it was too warm.  Last night, with just fans and a few particular arrangements, I was able to cool the place to about 70.  That I can live with.  I am wondering if being too hot too long exacerbates diabetes.

Speaking of which, my blood sugar got to 100 last night.  After that first jump, the rest was a slow decline.  Odd how it works.  When my blood sugar is high, my fasting blood sugar is often the highest read for the day.  If it is below 200 or 150 or such, the resting blood sugar is the second highest read (at least while fasting).  My second read then becomes the highest.  When it is near 100, the... it loses any pattern.  Usually.  There are no absolutes, just rules of thumb that can be upended for some or no reason.  Fasting blood sugar was 118.  Waking fasting blood sugar is 154.  BP is 124/91, p. 78.  See?  Good day, very good day.

Today?  A few domestics, as I can.  Fasting is taking it's toll.  And it is a holy day.  I'll get some ketonic down before long.  Gotta watch, remember... sharts... all I'm saying the more.  It's twu.  Today and tomorrow left of fasting.  It's going well.  Later.

It is a trick to fast and work.

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It wasn't a lot of work.  So far, I showered, reset soaking dishes, then finally made it up on the roof with the small sander and got busy.  By the way?  Paying more for paint is worth every penny.  I will give what is painted a second coat.  Just for a smooth sense, and... because.  No absolute need.  I'll never go another way again.  It even covered the purple, first coat.  Wow.

As to the sanding, the untouched window dressing was all that really needed it.  I tried several areas which were painted.  The concrete like paint just laughed, suggested it tickled.  Not liking to be mocked, and to truly test, I leaned in like a bull on a tourist at the runs.  Nothing doing.  Still, I kept trying various areas.  No really doesn't always mean no.

Blood sugar jumped to 171 then fell to 138.  Crazy system.  I did get one ketonic down.  Will get another in a bit.  I can have two, probably three, of those a day.  My aim is to have one a day, more if I do more.  It helps, slightly.  Enough to bother to make it.  Hunger comes and goes, but mildly.  It shifts from hunger being the problem to phantom hunger, the habit of eating, becoming the problem.  I haven't yet gotten past that and something else.  Is it keto flu, or a real limit, I am hitting?

What a gig? Gag?

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Days are tumbling. It's the heat.  It is 88, again.  Not typical, actually. It is cool... for the time of year.  I am more familiar with 95 F days, in July.  August is cooler, if more in the lower 90's, and more overcast days.  But by then, heat tolerance is shot.  The cave is now staying about 75.  Which is too warm.  I may have to bring the ac down, set it up in a back window, and run the two for short, staggered spells.  Or give up on a day cycle, which I don't want to do.

I missed medicine last night.  I will take everything but carvedilol, doubling on that will take me down like a lodestone, for days perhaps.  Still, bp wasn't horrible for it, at 146/86, p. 83.  Blood sugar is the best fasting I have had in a while, at 148.  It is below the average I showed the doc, and should continue to decrease... should.  Plus, I have two more days of fasting, after today, on the schedule.  Should work out.

Oh well.

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Again.  I just can't climb out of the hole I have fallen into.  No worries, I'll get there.

Blood sugar is down to 122.  Ugh, but it is a major push to bring it down.  BP was good, gooder.  At 138/98 it is nearing reasonable.  I am draining well as well.  I have gone back down to two water pills.  A weigh in at the first of the week, or my gut feeling, will let me know when to drop to one.

Oh, I received something from amazon I hadn't ordered.  At first I thought it was a mistake.  Nope me, and my address.  Then I checked billing.  I hadn't been.  Initially I thought it was Dr. Bronner's peppermint soap.  I already use that.  On closer inspection, it turns out to be the above, minus soap.  Hand and body lotion.  Seemed fubar to me, but I'll try anything once.  Free, twice.

I... am extremely impressed.  I don't know how much it costs yet, but I'd be willing to pay a premium for it.  Why?  A very little actually does an excellent job.  I am perplexed why so many lotions fail so spectacularly.  And if you like the scent of mint?  This is where that is at.  -  Price checked, between $10 and $11, for eight ounces.  Considering a dime spot covers both legs, ankles, and feet, to and including the knees, with my alligator skin?  Inexpensive.  They also have other scents... lime, lavender, perhaps others.  Just saying.

I might yet shave and shower.  Try the lotion after.  Hunger returns, then fades.  It is mild, some of it is just in my mind... a want, from habit.  Some hunger is real, but not biting... not yet.  Whatever. Good night.

Yeah, not today.

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Simply too hot.  It isn't what the fake weather reports say.  It is 88, they are claiming 97.  Still trying for grobble warbling I see.  Even so, just too hot.  I may check in an hour, though light might be a bit scarce by then.  The problem is there doesn't seem to be a cooler day in the forecast.  Then again, this is from the bozo assclowns who have 100 year forecasts nailed.  I guess if they can't figure tomorrow's weather, going so long they won't even be remembered when they flop... and Soros/globalist money spends good today.

I WILL get dishes, a shave, and a shower.  Once those are completed, I'll think on more.  I did water the side yard just a bit, and will complete that later.  And a narrow patch in the back yard is being hit now.  I'm trying to... bring back the lawn.  With some help it is working.  More seed, and cordoning off some areas from being mowed until growth is next.  If I can keep up on the watering, yeah.

Dishes should be easy.  Shaving won't be bad.  And the shower should be really good.  Hunger pangs earlier.  Need to mix the ketonic (a combination of three powders/crystals, an oil, and warm to hot tea).  Yes, the tea is hot.  That stuff... can help.  Cuts hunger, or offers some energy.  I really need to make bone broth.

Even hot, it's a good day.  I think I'll run the ac for a bit.  Later.

I love it when fasting is... cake?

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Talk about not having your cake, and not eating it to!?!  I... think so.  When fasting is easy, life is better.  The start of the second day and all is well.  Blood sugar finally got down to 145 last night, early this morning actually.  Fasting draw was 201 or such.  No idea why, really.  I'll do what must be done.  BP is fantastic, at 123/86 with pulse at 44?  Maybe I am learning to Zen again.  You would be amazed what you can train your mind and body to do, if first you have to part from them.  Death gave me that opportunity, many times.  So much so, they are... sometimes foreign to me.

My mom called.  She is pleased with her blender.  It was spendy, but can probably handle small, single loaf, bread dough.  Firetruck red, so she won't lose it.  It sounds like she has work lined up for me.  All good.  Using a tractor scoop to get limbs cut, painting roof fronting, more I am sure.  "Afraid of ladders?"  Heck no.  It will be good to help.  I am taking some of my tools.  Life is good.  Hmm, I should get to my windows... extra practice.  And find a hat to keep the sun off.  She has to have a way for me to cool down.

As well, I remembered my bills.  I paid them over the phone before calling my mother.  I also got the mailing address for the one that charges, even for a bank drat.  I may start mailing that in, then decide how much to pay extra, get it automated, possibly sending more in, if I have more than more *wink* at the end of the month.  Triple down, if I can go without so much Amazon.  Arghhhh!  I am thinking one and two thirds on auto, the enough to double or triple pay, depending how the month goes.  We can't, but I can.  Hup!

Yeah, dishes, sanding.  I know... echoing.  But, for sure tonight?  Yeah.  Right.  Later.

Oh, well?

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Dishes?  What else?  Oh, trim... inside, of the outside, windows... the trim next to the glass panes, on the exterior portion of the window.  Some things take a passel of words to convey, or perhaps a few technical words possibly not found in any particular dictionary.  Hmm?  Never to worry.  I mean, I did start on dishes, then sort of fell down.  I'll... get them yet.  But the trim I skipped.  It was 90ish F most of the day, and still 80 as it was growing dark.  Nope.  Just... nope.  As it cools, I may do a bit of prep, so if waking, light, and cool converge, I will be ready.

Fasting is going well.  I seem to be unable to drink as much as usual.  Strange.  Which means I haven't brewed fresh tea, which while warm is what I prefer for my ketonic... the powders mix better and the warmth brings out the flavors more richly.  Yeah.  If I run into that problem in the future... I need to introduce an override or bypass routine.  I am doing that much better in recent years.  Everything from recently learning to take medicines properly when I miss a day of sleep, to brushing regularly, or taking my meds backwards when I lose my day schedule.  I... can learn, train myself.

Blood sugar is coming down.  It's still high, higher than the average I showed the doc, honestly at that time.  I'm not going to worry.  It'll do it's weird thing, I'll just test four times a day, five if my day stretches long, double if I do a double day.  BP is middling ugly as well.  Annoying.

A time of fasting.

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Blood sugars remain ugly.  BP remains middling ugly.  Medicine is taken rightly, foods that have been tested out remain the menu.  It just doesn't seem to matter.  Then again, this isn't completely a surprise.  Perhaps volume, if I don't think so.  I still suspect the brots did something really off.  Something strange about those...

So, today, back to fasting.  The goal is to fast through Monday, at least to it.  If needed, then again next Thursday through Monday.  I will hammer this back in shape.  Oh, I gained 15 pounds in three days when I was having blood sugar problems.  I was drinking less, but enough less I wasn't priming the pump.  So that gallon to gallon and a half per day mostly stayed... enough of it.  I doubled my dose, but have again added another tab... just to push more.  When the pump becomes un-primed, it must take a little more to get the pump flowing again.  Been on this high of a dose before.  All good.

Do what it takes.  If you don't, they will.  Fasting isn't so bad, especially if you have extra to tide you over.  I would like to push both the length and activity level.  The ketone gunk might help.  I keep forgetting it.  It tastes odd, and helps mildly.  But I haven't seen huge gains... marginal only... which means only slight gains.

I may also have to return to full keto.  What's not to like with keto?  All food loses flavor. While that limits temptation, since it all tastes like cardboard... who wants to eat cardboard!?!  Ugh.  Trying to figure the world out, two seconds from death in any direction, is trick.  Well, they say I am close to death.

After searching, many times, for the book I was reading as a devotional and failing to find, I gave up and reordered.  It arrived today.  As well, it's curtains, for me.  Doc.  Well, some of them.  For upstairs.  As well, now that I have mostly figured out water kefir, I ordered more bottles, which arrived, snap-tops, resealable button tops, 16 ounce, strong enough to hold serious fizz.

I'd best get the ketotion, medicine, tea, and then on to my waking and life.  Today?  Dishes, and window inside trim sanding.  Anything else will be incidental.  The trim will have to be later, it is hot, and as any cat on such a tin roof might know?  Youch.  Later?  In more ways then... three, somehow.  Don't cross your eyes!  Dot them!  To a tee?

Cornish game hen, with a twist.

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Several twists.  First, spatchcocked, then grilled, finally basted with coconut manna (butter).  Done perfectly this time.  However, you can keep the coconut manna.  It wasn't overpowering, on the good side.  It had a heavy fatty taste, even grilled, that just...  Now, I did baiste almost as it was coming out.  Maybe that was the problem.  I plan to experiment with it as a food and lotion stuff.  Yeah.  I am trying to find double, even triple, duty stuff.  I wonder if this would work as gun grease?  Seriously.

Anyway, tentatively not giving the nod on this for that.  Although, I finally found a use for my tiny cast frying pan... as a butter, of whatever kind, melting and basting device.  I have several, if the next size would be better for two, or three small, eggs.  I bought a group of them out of curiosity, and because I love cast iron.  It feels... real.  So much of what I find in this place is insubstantial, seems weak, feels too light, reminds me of death.  I want more life, Father.  For myself, and my things.  Iron.  It's not perfect.  It is better.

It was 82, I think, last I checked.  Probably warmer now.  It is 73, and points, inside.  When it feels too warm in here, stepping outside, sitting in the shade until some comfort is obtained, then returning inside does the trick.  It's, really, the perfect weather for the 4th, as an Iowa boy.  No humidity and all is good.

Hmm...  I'll try pork in a bit.  I purchased pineapple, canned, with no sugar added.  I am thinking of trying that on top, just to see.  It's probably beyond the pale, even should they be telling the truth.  Pineapple is pretty sweet.  It's a feast day, it happens, and I am still testing.  Plus with blood sugar gone wild anyway...  I will wait until my blood sugar has time to settle, say three more hours, so I have a flat starting number.  If my sugar is high, but it doesn't spike much, I have a initial positive result.  It takes a number of results to begin making a conclusion... Barring catastrophe.  By the way, when are the French going to learn to write proper (US) English?  :)  It's our national birthday.  What better day for some international incidents?

Back to music, resting, and gaming.  Good day.

The 4th!

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First things first.  BP is a little high, blood sugar is and has been ugly.  Nothing I am doing is working.  Multiday fasting will probably work, but not today.  Today is a feast day.  Pork ribs and a spatchcock cornish game hen.  Last one was grilled whole, someone, over at Ace's (should it be Aces'?), reminded me of the method.  For a 24 ounce bird, it's mostly bone.  I think being forced to peck through the bones for meat makes the meal... much better, sort of like shelling pistachios.

I did not get the flag up.  I'll... it'll get there.  I hate when I remember the important undone tasks in while-waking dream storms.  You can't make me feel more guilt or shame than I already know.  And you probably have no true idea of what might, or even should, grieve such a one.  I do.  Know, that is.  While I won't beat a dead horse, I do know the faults and failures, and try to fix, do, change.  And, slowly... I fix, do, change.  If never will I have all of it.

I have to admit, president Trump... is superior to even what I suspected.  I did have some concern that populism and ego might be the limits of, to, his time in office.  I easily see he has clearcut pro-American goals that supersede those limits.  Further, those weren't what I thought.  They are elements of his game.  Like all men, he struggles with ego, but that is a small personal thing, one he manages well, in my humble opinion, especially given his station.

I do worry about him putting a lefty in the scotus.  When Schmuck Schemer fights against a woman, he is more likely saying who he wants, or what he wants.  Something he should be denied.  Women are fearful malleable weak creatures.  Gave in to Satan quickly, easily, dragged man down with her.  I just hope Trump... he knows.   It would be a trade of some sort, not a good one, especially with that party committing suicide.  Don't surrender now, Grant.  Some associations can't be fixed.  Who would have thought the right party then would turn into such a whiney, self-loathing, anti-American, group of Sodomites?  Sad.

Yes, America is looking better.  But Trump's fixes need to be made law, Dem ruinations such as Zerocare need to be eliminated.  President Trump's appointments need to be shoved through.  Establishment GOP need to be denied entry *cough* Romney *cough*.   Others need to "retire"... many are leaving, as Ryan partly and others completely, if not enough  *cough* McConnel *cough*.  Still, the road back from hell isn't an easy one.

We haven't yet hit the impending economic collapse.  Fed spending is what is artificially sustaining.  It isn't the economic driver, as Zero tried to make it.  The spending is merely an umbrella to buy time to rebuild, design, focus, and unleash the only possible economic engines of commerce, production, construction, and such from the private sector.  We will get hit, hard, often.  It is a matter if we have cut the swill of social socialism and crony capitalis enough that we don't collapse from what is due, coming.  Though, if we go?  They all go darker still.  They know it.

More winning?  Sure.  But for now, have yourself a fantastic, hopeful, patriotic, family and friend filled, delectably edible, celebration of the birth of the nation that has brought light, in a thousand ways, to every corner of this dank, dark, retched world, or died trying.  And remember to thank the soldiers, marines, sailors, cops, and others, who do stand against the filthy darkness so you don't have to face the dragons yourself.  Amen.

A bit, so far.

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A bit of simple rest got me over the want of a nap.  So, after doing my regular affairs, and cooling plus relaxing, I started a bit more.  The new garden hoses arrived, so I was able to bypass the broken hose.  As well, I installed the timer and delink devices, so as to be able to keep the hoses connected, and switch them, and even the timer, with ease.

With it being overcast, or was, I started watering.  Of course, this time the sun sort of came out.  I turned it all off, if I may move things a bit and give a soak to a slightly different area tonight. It is helping, but it will never quite make it without more shade, and perhaps fertilizer, maybe else?

I had to call my mother, though it is good to check in, it regarded an exact address check, for a delivery.  Her birthday present, one of them, for this month.  Surprisingly, a name brand.  She is usually a very country girl, and usually right.  But sometimes she finds a quality item, and knows from experience that it isn't just a name thing.  I am just proud she, mostly, wasn't afraid to ask.  Of all the cooks in the world, she has done the most with the least.  It is good to get better tools in her hands.  Pleases the soul, and many bellies even to this day, and so long as she lives.

As well, and finally, Duluth returned the money.  I was tempted to not buy again.  Save that their belts, while spendy, are truly the best belts under the sun.  And, the other things I like from them, even for the price, are excellent.  I just can't hate them.  So I ordered belts again.  I don't even need to throw the fifteen year old one away.  I can just use that for around the house.  Yeah, they are that good.  I am murder on regular belts.

Up and over.

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With such a long, hot, busy, exhausting day, I wasn't sure how things would work... through the night, or waking today.  I ended waking at a weird early time.  Perhaps I already wrote about it?  Waking after a short to normal sleep period.  I then crashed, hard, around 1:30.  I fell too fast to set an alarm.  I woke at 9:30, an half hour before driving was planned.  I really wanted to tuck back in but didn't.

Up, hair fixed, medicine, dressed, and teeth being brushed when the knock came.  I got the grill going, then we headed out.  It was better, but not stellar.  It just takes time.  Then a steak dinner.  And right as he goes in to get his braces out.  *grins*  I bet his ortho (is it) will be happy with that.  Driving and work next time, and a... chat.  He has broken two hoses and the brass splitter.  He... has some work to do, off the books.  Repairs.

Today?  Resting.  I have pushed far too hard these last four or five days.  I need rest.  It's a cool day, at 64 F, last I looked.  Mostly overcast, with a mild breeze last time I was out. Now to strip to shorts, t, and house flops.  Then daily do's, news, and on to gaming, or a nap.  A nap will happen, soon or late.

Later.

Rough day, wake.

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What a mess.  Too little sleep, dehydrated, overheated, hungry, and bulling on through?  There was a price.  My blood sugar sot up, and the meal and fluid exacerbated that, spiking to 300/275.  (I did a second test, not trusting the first, not sure which to believe.)  Then I crashed so hard I think I hurt something... no, not really if almost.

I thought I would sleep for days, or at least half a day.  Nope!  Seven hours and I popped out of bed like a perfect ice cube ejected out of it's mold.  It pretty much hurt right then, but the bed was finished with me.  No going back.  I am tempted to take aspirin.  I like to hold off, though.  Reserving that for persistent, harsher, pain.  It makes the stuff very effective when something is on the edge of tolerability.

I immediately checked the outside temp.  It was cooler than indoors already, barely.  Good enough.  Everything was opened save the window on the sunny side.  Way too much heat, even with the fading sun.  It is time to open that window.  Sundown is heaven, hereabouts.

Ah!  My bad about the boss.  He didn't just forget, or get busy.  He was camping last week.  He told me, too, I just... reckon time... differently.  I thought he had already gone, last week.  So... lessons are back on.  At least I... didn't have to eat too much crow.  A minor apology seemed appropriate, and to suffice.  My can I be a big baby.  Oh well.  At least I... left room to sort it out before harm.  Though, I was trying to be understanding... I thought, maybe, he got in too deep, too many jobs.  All good.  Only the cap toe, not the whole shoe...  *tap dancing with the devil...*

All things are getting better.  The pains are easing, the cave and bod are cooling, blood sugar is at 185, food is being planned... the same old regular, ribeye, corn, potatoes, and fresh milk *WOOT*... medicine is down, plus I finally added the extra minerals to my kit and going to need them with double water pill dose.  Oh, I best brush.  For why though?  Fie, for now, I will continue.

I am hoping to sleep earlier tonight.  Even a nap would do.  I want to be ready to drive tomorrow, and do some other things.  I may have a bargain for the boss... a deal he can't refuse.  We are all momma's boys, in even our darkest hearts.  Some run from it, wrestle with it, face it, or else.  Just best to take it like a man, for whatever that means on any given day.  Yeah, cooties and all, I suppose.  It's a trap!

We'll, I best brush, open the lee window, and get the grill hot.  Hmm, not the grill quite yet.  I must thaw steak.  Good evening.

Still awake.

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No choice.  I thought the doctor appointment was tomorrow.  At about 4:30, I checked my email.  Yeah, well, too late for me to back out fairly, to the doc.  A shower, my readings/devices, dressed, and then out.  I was nervous.  Blood sugar has drifted up, averaging 151 or so.  He was fine with that.  BP, which I lost track for these problematic days, was around 122/82 or such.

With the tester data, and the V.A. a1c, he didn't see the need for more labs today.  Cool. I do seem to be retaining water, so upping the dose on the water pill.  All good.  Should have realized to do that myself already.  I let him know i upped carvedilol, and started losartin.  I think he was impressed.  Asked me how I did it...  When I saw him two months ago, my bp was 224/126, pulse 120-145, and blood sugar hitting over 400.

Fasting, of two sorts, and care with foods.  Yeah, I think he was impressed.  I asked if he could tell I had started brushing my teeth.  He said he couldn't.  I guess I assumed I had to have bad breath.  Nope.  He said he would have remembered.  Odd, but okay.  Oh, and I asked for and received handicap tags.  I just had to get them processed.

Then to the library.  The return labels printed perfectly, quickly.  Then the package finally was sent.  Crazy.  The disability cards were obtained next.  I'll only use them rarely, when needed desperately or if gasoline is going missing at a particular place.

After four hours, in the heat, without anything to drink, my blood sugar jumped to 212 or so.  I was hurting.  Something to drink and eat quickly after returning.  Trying to make it up to mid afternoon or later, to reset the internal clock, maybe.  Rough, long, hot day.  Later, good night.

Did you ever see too far?

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Perhaps it was seeing to cosmic inheritance too soon.  Maybe seeing falsely.  Maybe one sort of corruption, or another.  I was so sure.  When I found her, I knew.  I was going places.  I was doing things.  Then I was alone.  I couldn't think.  I stopped being able to remember.  I was dead before I died, only moving forward through momentum.  Such grand momentum, it carries me to this day, from time to time, when my feet can keep me up.  I DO remember... some of it... sometimes.

Deprivation wasn't working.

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With a fasting blood sugar at 188, then the next read, two hour after... still fasting... at 202, I had to think.  What else changed?  Hmm, less fluid.  A lot less.  From two to four gallons a day to, perhaps, a gallon plus up to another half, max.  It's rather difficult to drink, for me, without at least an occasional sweetening.  And?  And cutting food.  Both based on numbers that went crazy, due to bad brots.

Okay.  So, if it was the brots, and I wrongly cut food and fluid, if I go back to drinking much more and eating the right foods regularly... could that fix it.  Fasting wasn't helping, nor was running dry.  Worth a shot, and I was tired of pushing and pulling.  So... I ate.  A goodly meal.  And started sweetening every other tea.  Within the hour, my blood sugar dropped to 183, then rose to 198, then dropped to 140 and just now down to 125.  Why do I feel like I am playing Go with my body?  Uhrm, because I am.

So?  So, dinnertime!  I've got the grill going, just to heat some already grilled meat.  As well, green beans, and three or four eggs.  Sizes vary a bit with "wild" eggs.  I think it was a lack of fluid, but food irregularity was adding to the problem.  Of course it may have been linger syrup, other issues, or a combination of knowns and/or unknowns.  It may not be solved, this could be a fluke.  Time is a distant relative to the Truth.  May do for now, soon.  Huh?  Give it a while.

I did water the front yard a bit tonight.  It is all looking a bit better, and will until the world heats back up again.  I best check the grill, put veggies on first... they take longer. I may not be a grilling godfather, or yet, but I am learning.  I will do if a true patron of the man-cooking arena is not to be found.  I know that good food isn't about my feelings, but about satisfied bellies.  I'll make it as guests, or myself if I am it, prefer... with a smile even if I have to do it over and again.  Though, too often, same one, invitation list, scratch.

Well.  Have a great evening, night.  Uhrm, morning for some of you.

Going off schedule is rough.

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No matter what, I had to go off schedule.  Either sleep or food had to be missed.  Actually, it turned out that a bit of both was lost.  I did get a full night of sleep.  Only after staying up too late.  And, a shorter sleep, between six and seven hours, heat woke me.  It's not really hot, 78 F or so, in the early afternoon.  Only 73 in here.  And, yet, you can feel the increase in intensity.  My body hates sleeping in those conditions.  Better to cut sleep shy then get heat-sleep sickness.

Fasting blood sugar is high.  Not as bad, at 168, if not great.  After four hours, after supper, my blood sugar had only gone down to 148, so I didn't end up eating again.  As well, today I will not eat until/unless blood sugar drops to 135 or less.  I don't want to fast.  If required to manage blood sugar then so be it.  It seems I can do it.  I can't do it and get much done.  But I can do it.  I am still suspicious that more is going on that appears the case.

I have been keeping up on brushing teeth, medicine, on top of other usuals.  I had to get out of bed the last two nights, to brush, and last night for medicine as well.  Both were harsh, but last night was brutal.  I don't care, as long as it gets done.  Roll, remove cat, remove blanket, roll and twist... are eyes open?  Open eyes, check.  Etc.  All good.  I sleep better with those things done.  I haven't missed a medicine back to two, maybe three Mondays ago.  Not bad.  Brushing?  I haven't missed morning and night for a month, more.  I have missed a few 'lunch' brushings, this month, two I should guess.  Not bad.

Trash today, what little there is.  A shave and shower, maybe bedding and laundry?  We'll see.  Some of it might depend on food.  I can do some, but without food, I do slow down a bit.  A lot, sometimes.  We will see.  Later.

So far so good.

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I wasn't sure what to honestly expect.  The last few meals exploded in my face.  I am more and more sure it was the brots.  Dinner was very good.  The cornish game hen was fantastic, if a bit overdone.  If I have to go more one way or the other, I prefer extra crispy, especially for fowl.  I also had a slice of beef.  Chuck roast, grilled as well, but nowhere close to overdone, if not underdone either, just right.

Blood sugar went up to 161 from 132.  It has probably risen as high as it will go, and in an hour it should be on the way back down.  If I am lucky, and it doesn't explode, it may be back down to the premeal number.  I'd really like another full meal, but I think not.  A small bowl of pistachios, or fruit.  Not more.  Then back on to bed.

I sure hope I am back on schedule.  I won't have to reschedule.  I will check everything I buy much more closely.  Corn syrup in brots?  Poisoning us, intentionally.  The meat tasted wrong, underneath.  I wonder if syrup allows them to use what should be called bad meat?  Thank you, FDA.  You should be outlawed.

Good night.  I'll write a report in the morning.

Ugh, finally.

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I have been testing frequently.  I am really not ready to fast.  As with yesterday, I set a goal, before eating.  Instead of the 150's, I lowered it to 135.  And only unsweetened tea has been consumed.  I'll do every other read, as it covers everything, and was similar to yesterday.  Fasting was 195, then 222, 161, 143.  At which time I realized  I would hit my goal, so accelerated thawing of a few things.  A final read of 132 just now.  No potatoes, no fruit and cottage cheese, just meat and corn, and a smaller meal.

I still don't exactly know what went so disastrously wrong.  The brots suggest there is only one sugar.  I don't think so.  Or something else changed.  Did I pick up a lite, rather than unsweetened?  Did they mislabel something?  Too much of something, or a mix of things?  I will see how this meal works.  If the reading is back to nearly 132 in three hours, I will have a second meal, then stay awake until the blood sugar drops to, or below, say, 135?  Or, I'll give it another hour, failing the wanted drop, I'll just go to bed.  Yeah.

I simply am not back up to being able to fast again yet.  Not of body, not of mind.  And, yet, I had a blood sugar problem.  I'll do what it takes to not be on insulin.  I don't believe doctors, they lie all the time.  Every time I offer them some trust, they fail.  No insulin.  And I'll stick with higher fats and proteins, occasionally veggies.  Salt as I desire, as usual.  Sure am hungry.  Later.