She knows.

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Not certain if she fully understands, believes.  Further, she is attempting to own the notion.  Threatening to move out?  Okay.  She suggests she'll be out this month.  No, I wouldn't mind.  I won't buy more groceries, and will eat my food until she is gone.  No more buying as a general rule. 

She told me she is joining the mormon church.  I... thought she had.  Her nicotine and caffeine habits are going to... be a problem.  Not my problem.  I doubt if she will be taking Jasmine.  That or back to the pound.  She can't have the cats, especially after beating the kitten nearly to neurological retardation.  The kitten is doing better, but is terribly afraid at times, and still has twitches.

The lies of P

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Here is an honest review.

A recent game purchase.  On disc.  No updates.  Without updates there is only the regular play mode.  Which... is very difficult?  I have read that, if updated, you can choose from three difficulty levels, the other two easier than the one I am playing.

Sleep can be exquisite.

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Tonight was one of those.  Awake.  But maybe back to sleep?

Having the room 75, even down to 68 if it gets cooler outside, has helped.  Well, and while I haven't spoken with mother, the... decision has been made.  The future beyond that is murky, muddy, messy, and uncertain.  But probably involves emptying, packing, and moving a long way away.

I would like to think there is a woman in that future.  But the truth, as every man knows, is that women are nothing but trouble.  Liars, thieves, in it for themselves.  I'm not convinced I could afford, this way or that, a woman... here or there.

Several folk have suggested...

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that, while kicking back, of an evening, afternoon, morning... when they had a moment and no immediate demands... while reflecting on things... just how much they have been through, suffered, survived.  How well they made it through all these things.  So... I gave it a shot.  Yes, I am different.

Oh, no... I saw what they saw.  How many graves I have literally clambered out from, how many wounds of all sorts and natures I have endured.  How much stress, hatred, and else I have had to contend, defend against, often just suffering through with no means of immediate mitigation.

How strange is THAT!?!

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It is down to 77, downstairs here.  The windows, upstairs and down, are open.  Fans are going hard and heavy, but I am about to give the ones down here a few hours off.  At 77, the coolest it has been in a week, or three, it feels downright chilly!  Sounds crazy, but it is true.  Just dropped to 76... 

And, having slept with the temperature at 73 upstairs, in my zone even, I had finally cooled off, generally.  At this altitude, 73 often feels chilly, especially when wearing summer weight clothing.  Two blankets were needed, if happily.

Very nice.

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With me up here, both AC's running, if on a more moderately warm day, it is 73 up here.  I don't believe it made it to 90?   Perfect sleeping temp.  I did end up using a thin and thick cotton blanket for that perfect sleep.  And sleep was very good, if short.  I even dreamed. 

In one, South American cartel bosses, a few of them, found out I could fly.  If being, mostly, kept secret, even within their organizations, they had tracked me, learned who my family is, and presented me with an offer not designed to be refused.

Some things.

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I did a favor for mother today.  Her dresser, one of them, is a modular by part wire and connector jobby.  She... breaks it from time to time.  But she can't fix it.  She lacks the manual dexterity and strength.  Must admit, it does take some doing.

There is another job she put on my radar.  When I wake, if she is still awake.  I was about to install the ac in the livingroom.  But, when in the kitchen for else, I noticed she had left the back door open when she went out.  So... until we talk, and if she agrees to pay half the overage on electrical bill, with all the AC's running?  No ac in the livingroom.  The woman is incorageable.

So blasted hot.

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The forecast is suggesting a low of 66.  Not convinced.  It is currently 78, according to them.  Which reminds me, I need to find or buy several mechanical temperature gauges, hardy ones that can be adjusted and tested.  The weather stations and channels are notoriously inaccurate. 

I need something covering me, in order to sleep well.  But at 79, up here, with ac, it just doesn't work.  I'll have to put my second ac unit in.  That... should help.  And, get the one installed in the livingroom.  Hopefully the various units will contort to consort.

So very hot.

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If it doesn't hit 100, lately, it isn't off by much.  The lows are even a bit high, into the 70s I think.  The best I can do is get some fresh air in at night.  It just doesn't cool off at all.  Indoors less than outdoors.  Rough. 

So far I just have one AC up here, and one in mom's room.  I am thinking about adding a medium sized one in the living room and/or a big one in the spare bedroom.  The big one was intended for the living room, but doesn't fit that window.  Though I would have to figure out a cat preventing air allowing measure with the spare bedroom use.

Time to rise and shine.

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Or nearing that time.  It's 21:30.  Finally dark out there.  My weather channel suggests it is down to 80.  Down to 77 by 23:00, and 61 as a low sometime tonight.  They... aren't the best at guessing the temp, their own readings betray their prognostications pretty much every day.  They... really aren't good at weather forecasting. 

Hmm... from the time I started writing this to now?  The temp at 23:00 is now supposed to be down to 73, not 77.  What clots.

I did rise.

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It was nearly 23:00.  Give or take an half hour.  Not much done.  Water was reset, plus two jugs for sun tea.  I like it too.  She has been adding lemon wedges, a nice touch.  Working in the heat.  I would rather she not, but I am glad one of us can, and enjoys it.  

Staying hot.  It will until some day between the start of August and the middle of September.  The ac cools up here to 73, without me.  Then it keeps the far part of the room between 73 and 75, while this side gets to 77 or so, with me up here.  Oddly, that is cold enough to cause foot cramps if I kick my feet and legs out at night!  I still have to be careful.

Not today.

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Still in bed at 18:24.  I have been awake for a bit, not awake enough to get going.  Not sure whether it's back to sleep or time to rise.  Stuck in a difficult spot.

Such terrible dreams.  A dream?  Series of them?  Or something else entirely?  If a series, thematically conjoined.  One of the several... dreams, visions.  -  Ask one of the Swords of God a question?  Prepare to not get anything like the answer you anticipated.  No, God is NOT on your side.  You are humbly on His side or you are on your own, in the darkness of your choosing. 

Plans.

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I had hoped to be awake through the day.  I was, of course, up all night.  Some days I can push it on through.  Not today.

I did get water jugs refilled, as with the carafe and reservoir on the r.o. machine.  I reset ice, using some through the night.  The lawn was watered, this time front, a side, and out back.  It really is trying to spruce back up.

A bit to eat.  I remembered to check bp.  Just a tad high, as usual lately.  Blood sugar remains excellent.  Even the 90 day average is down to 111.  I had been tinkering, experimenting, for a bit.  Went off known keto reservation territory.  Tried a few things.  Not that it ever even hit 150, but it got into the 120s for a bit.  I've found what works, and doesn't.  And just how far I can push things.

No, I can't stay up, as hoped.  Not that it is really hot, but warm enough.  It just ended my ability to stay awake.  Still, a good night.  Hoping to be awake for shopping this afternoon or tomorrow.  I'll be taking Mom along.  She has a few items on her list.  I'll buy a few of them, as I prefer better cheeses, and need a few things myself.  Different stores though.

Ugh.  Good night, and day.

Still 80, indoors.

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Nothing I do seems to alter that.  I tried half a dozen variations.  Nothing is changing the temperature an iota.  On the good side, whether it reaches 103 or just 97, it stays well below that in here.  Not cool, in here, just cooler.  Day and night 

I opened the windows upstairs too.  Wondering if that might help.  Or make it worse?  Zero effect.  Mom has her ac running in her room, I think, 24/7.  I would charge for that, but I approve.  It also does help by buffering one of the South rooms.  Plus, I do want her to have a place for refuge.  She is a summer girl, but... we all have our limits.

Hot.

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Staying hot.  At just after 20:00, it is still 86.  It is supposed to drop to 66.  Not convinced, they keep missing their forecast.  As well, opening up at night doesn't seem to do much.  Do get fresh air, just not much real cooling.  It's going to be a rough hot summer.  It stays around 78 here near me, if the far side of the room drops to 70 to 73 depending on the time of day.  With ac of course.

As well, having a major allergy attack from something.  Pollen?  Some local growth of something?  Is Mom cooking with something new or different?  Going through facial tissue like gangbusters, and always with a runny nose.  I feel like one of those elderly grannymas, who always has a hanky or tissues tucked in a pocket, sleeve, purse, and/or elsewhere.  Always at the ready or getting more.  I used to chuckle at the poor dears... until I became one.  Bleh.  Sure hope this passes soon.  Would sure like to know what it is, though.

Managing rage through sleep.

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A temporary fix.  But needed.  Before a talk.  As well, arranging the one-way discussion.  No gas lighting or explaining back allowed.  A simple conveyance of understandings with no wiggle room.  Any attempts at such will lead to am exit.  A final parting of ways.

A series of statements, declaring what could be, is, happening that are problems.  The solutions.  And what will happen, in very short order, if the behavior isn't absolutely changed.  As well, I will suggest, since I doubt she has the willpower to behave, that she begin her search for a new place.

Up late.

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Going to bed early anyway.  I did run the sprinklers last night.  8 see mother did too.  But I didn't know how well or long.  Though it looked like she couldn't move the sprinklers almost at all.  Fair enough.  I wish she would leave me to my tasks.  I hit the areas I hit last time, some of it over what she did (in part because she did it wrong).  If I had done it, alone, water wouldn't have been wasted and I could have hit new patches out back.

She also tries to set the reverse osmosis machine going, but always messes it up.  I wish she would just leave some things alone.  She has zero tech-fu.  Like having a child play with a record player.  Or a female Yoda.  Which makes me wonder if she actually does know, but either doesn't care or is more on the dark side.

Backing away from spending.

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Smaller orders.  Needs based.  Do I really need that?  Technically, I need almost nothing.  But my life is a bit of a mess.  Sometimes, say, nightlights... that turn on from motion, when it is dark, helps me live a little better... a little less precariously.

True, I always have at least one flashlight.  Unless I wake late, early, off, and didn't get one.  And, even with a flashlight, area lighting is limited.  Okay.  So, yes.  The problem?  Those eat batteries!  I've tried those before.  There are plug in ones, but the areas I need them don't have outlets.

Gen X'ers see doom coming?

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I do chuckle at the notion.  For obvious and not, intricate, simple, and elegant reasons.  First, of course, every generation, as it ages out of society, sees that.  Some of it is a... reflection of the truth of their mortality becoming clearer to those individuals.  On a personal and peer level field.

Though, in some cases, it really is more than that.  Seeing technology mate with prophecy, the potential for Christian based ends times is here, or nearly here.  The mark of the beast, or the final one, can be, or is nearing the possibility, of implementation.  To control commerce in such a way is almost ready, just not quite yet, or not quite to scale.

She is just begging to be...

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kicked off the island.  At this point, I'm beginning to agree.  Spending money she doesn't have, relying on my largesse to cover her.  Either using my console and tv, or more likely allowing someone else to do so.  All sorts of schemery.  And I have just about had enough.

Talk?  That we will do.  A final talk.  If she doesn't straighten up she will be moving out, quickly.  She doesn't do enough good to cover the bad at this time.  So the bad has to end or the gig is up.  I don't think she thinks I can or will.  She is terribly mistaken.