Definitely a warm fall.

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It got to 79 today.  It stayed up near that for several hours, not just a peak then collapse.  Almost too warm?  Yet, really, not.  I am over the heat exhaustion from through the summer season, after several cooler days and weeks.  With diabetes pretty much managed, bp mostly handled, and else?  Plus with summer heat exhaustion managed?  Eighty is actually a nice temperature, at least for a high, more so at elevation and with low humidity.

The sensation of it being a bit warm is because I am wearing winter pj's and wool socks.  Good for some nights, when my feet get chilled.  I should have changed to summer, or fall and spring house garb.  At least when I awoke.  Oh well.  I'll mildly suffer through the mild extra warmth on my way to settling in to bed before too long.

Friday, morning.

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I had to struggle just a bit this morning to sort that fact.  Those facts.  More easily than yesterday morning.  It happened more quickly and nearly natively.  Still had to stop, think, look at the watch several times, and remember the hours were small, not large.  As well, that it was brighter outside. 

Still, a much quicker, easier, understanding.  I have been sleeping hard, deep, long, for a rather long time.  Days, weeks, going on a month?  Longer yet?  I have tried, unsuccessfully, to fight it.  Sleep can't be set aside, of late.

Morning?

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So much sleep lately.  Some confusion.  I thought it was... yesterday evening.  But, so bright.  Should have known by the clocks and my watch.  I run them on the twenty four hour displays, for this very reason.  Too tired to make sense of things, this time.  But the brightening, of the day finally helped me understand.

Oh, I laughed!  When I finally understood.  If you can't laugh at someone else, there is always yourself.  Laugh with, at?  Both.  I quite enjoy, however and whomever receives, earns, the mirth.  A grace, if you can be just a bit humble.

Such a strange day.

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Sleeping a great deal.  Awake for a few hours.  Hot throughout being up and down.  It only got to 73 F, if it is reading that, up here, currently while reading 66 outside currently.  No windows open, if the ac's are still installed, so with a fan going some of that cool gets in.  Though, too, the downstairs is cooler.  The only reason it is that warm up here is because I am casting off heat like an oven.  Can feel it from feet to head.  My head has a form of heat exhaustion.  I have been hot, in the bean, for days. 

Not a fever.  Just... somehow outputting a lot of heat.  One meal today.  One yesterday.  Small meals, less than six hundred calories.  Fasting a few days before that.  Strange.  As mentioned, fasting usually cools me off.  More so as the world cools.  Certainly not this fall, or so far?  It did for a while there.  Strange.

These days frigid.

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Those days nearly fevered.  Sometimes frozen legs, while the rest of me roasts.  How?  Why?  I can't say.  I have tried adjusting everything from what I eat to how much I eat to when I eat, and on to drinks.  More or less, flat water versus carbonated water versus coffee or tea, hot or cold, with and without fats, keto sweeteners, or nothing added.

I have not found food or drink to be able to play a part.

Electrical backup reconsideration.

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I keep considering how to back up power, for shorter and longer terms, with minimal fuss, expense, and exhibition.  Solar is out there, but there are problems.  Generators, of course.  Each and every has a problem, or dozen.  Plus the expenses no matter.  Cheaper is still eye-wateringly expensive for a typical solo act.

Still, I look, consider.  And things are becoming more affordable.  Easier.  More possible in many ways.

Can't help but to chuckle.

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Headlines on vids.

God protects sigmas.  That is so very funny.  If I am a sigma, which I think I am, I promise God does no such thing.  He does the opposite.  He throws us into a roasting hot pan, over a hotter fire, and sees if we will handle the heat, flip out into the fire, or live either way.  He does this fairly often.  Something about not giving more than one can take and my kind being able to take extensive pain, injury, illness, damage, trauma of all sorts, and else.  No, God doesn't protect us.

Just do the math.

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What are the two systems dragging worst?  Automotive (ignore the fake and gay numbers about it's vibrancy).  Which then collapses into banking, which is already on the wrong end of commercial property values, and leaning hard into residential falling values, with large notes attached.

How did auto go sideways?  Trying to shovel AI slop in the form of all electric, though even hybrids, with the full faith and security of the then US, and mostly all, governments.  They would help shove it through, gloss over issues, and that would be that.

If it didn't hurt so much?

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It would be hilarious.  From gas prices to food prices to insurance costs, there is nothing that isn't rising so fast even the lower tiers of the wealthy aren't buckling.  Further, insurance is not even probably going to be honored and the government won't do a thing about it, as an example of injury on insult.

What about "they want you dead" did you not understand?  Trump?  is that even Trump in there?  Before him, Biden, Zero, Clinton, Bush's?  Worse, or... maybe?  If they really are who they were, how much control did they actually have?

Wrong?

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Mother asked what time I would be going to town.  I told her I wasn't going to town.  If I remembered I actually had hoped to go to town.  Though, in part, I was telling her we would not be going to town?  That and I had forgotten.  I need... want... carbonated water.  While I have finally learned to tolerate, even enjoy, flat water out of the reverse osmosis system, I too quite enjoy carbonated water.  If, even that, finally, I usually prefer it plain.

I needed flavored varieties for the first few years.  I just don't trust how they flavor things, so kept trying to go plain.  I finally could do plain, all of the time, after a lot of effort and self-training my taste buds.  The only reason I don't is there isn't enough easily available.  if I am luck, they have eight twelve packs.  I prefer... more, on hand.  I'd like double that.  So I mix in flavors.  The other option would be to try three or four different stores.  But that is a major difficulty with my body in such poor shape.

A few bachelor thoughts.

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While I am, at least so long as I live in America or should I end up in Europe, a dedicated bachelor, I enjoy feminine interactions.  So, how to do that?  Primarily by choosing which women to speak with very carefully.

Is she too young?  Out of my potential in a real way (if even then I have to be careful), as I see things?  Showing no interest?  Perfect.  That is the type of woman with whom I will converse.  I used to have older women in the queue too.  But realized that was a major mistake.  Old women have zero understanding that they are not being approached for even short term affairs.   Single serving interactions, which end when I leave, is all that is being offered.  I lived and learned.

A bit of a row.

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Mother wanted a trip to town.  To get her nails done.  Sure, I had to get the tires checked.  Do some other business.  So, okay.  I dropped her off at 9:30.  Should only take forty minutes.  I got over to the shop.

The tires were in terrible shape.  She won't be allowed to drive the vehicle anymore.  Serious problems.  New tires.  She tried to gas light me that it was the shop.  No.  Not a shop I have used three times in fifteen years, branded, three tires.  Plus, they just fixed them.  No questions.

Another death.

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A favored cousin, for my part.  Not sure she liked me.  But I am used to that.  Especially from females, certain ones.  I had hoped to see her before she died.  I was pretty sure that wouldn't happen.  No matter, now.  At least, with this one, while I will pray for her soul, and family, I am more secure with her destination, up front.  Still.  Prayers.

She became familiar with me at one of the worst points in my life.  Everything that could go wrong had gone wrong and I shouldn't have yet been living. All while being gaslit by a medical industry hiding vaccine injuries.

Finally awake again.

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Now, I have stirred, from time to time.  Waking to reset blankets, make my position more comfortable, adjust blankets on my lower body for warmth or upper body to cool, or just because it was time to be awake.  A sound, thought, reason I did or didn't know.  I wake often.  Usually.  Sometimes I can sleep for literal days without remembering having awaken once.  Other times, usually, I can wake a dozen times while only sleeping a few hours.

Tonight, today by your count, was more typical.  A long sleep, but awake many times.  On the good side, with BP meds finally in the mix, I do feel rested.  With kidneys at ~10%-13%?  I am a bit weary most of the time.  Just... better than when they weren't treating, or properly treating, bp, kidneys, or diabetes.  With those pretty much under control, within my (not their harmful) specs, rest and sleep, if greatly more needed, do their part for improving wakefulness while I can be awake.

She asked why.

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Some she from my past.  In my mind.  In a dream state.  I am... pretty sure which "she".   And, really?  She should know why. 

She had reason to become famous friends, in their own ways, for their own parts, with a Mennonite couple, who had been Amish?  Or, some such.  Oh, nothing... notorious.  Some stories are... good stories, if with hard surrounds. Kindness does occur if perfection is rare though too?  But this was a good samaritan thing, in the truer sense.

I... thought so.

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The temp did drop the three degrees I suspected it would.  Then held there, dropping no more.  Satisfied, though, that my observations helped produce a better analysis than their forecast.  Not that it always will, just that it seems to usually do so.  A 49 degree morning is just a bit finer than a 52 degree morning, or this one.  To me. 

Mother made corn on the cob and had stuff for a BLT sandwich.  I did the corn, but ate the last of the rice instead of the BLT.  Rice sounded softer on my oddly virtually wounded body.  It worked.  Though I think the BLT would have been fine.  Meh.  Too full to eat more, somewhat sadly.

Interesting.

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it is 52 outside.  It was 53 at midnight.  Now, that is what was forecast.  But, usually, it gets cooler through the night.  Almost always dropping three to five degrees in the final hours of dark.  So I expected to see an early plunge into the upper to even lower forties.  There is still time.

Time to wake, see if I could put a meal together.  Tired of beams.  Eggs and toast?  Keto bread can work.  Mom brought home something different.  I am reluctant to try new things, especially her choices.  She just goes with cheap, often.  And, failing that, she isn't good at doing carb to (right) fat to fiber assessments.  Like so many hippie types, she believes the print without knowing to look any deeper.  And, really, she doesn't care.

Cooling fast.

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It is down to 53 outside.  A degree cooler than predicted, if that's not a terrible miss.  With a stronger fan going, and windows open, it's 70 up here.  I am still kicking out heat like a cast iron wood burning oven.  Now that the feet and legs are warmed, I am pushing out serious heat.  Otherwise it would be much cooler up here.  And that is with no food for about twenty four hours.  Odd how my body can do that.

Feeling better.  I yet have a few aches in my torso, if much milder.  I did take painkillers.  Just otc sort, if as strong as they make them.

Healing?

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Definitely feel a bit better.  As well, I was able to warm my feet.  However, now my torso and melon are overheated.  A trade I am gladly willing to take.  Freezing calfs on down is in the wretched category.  Overheating is merely a milder misery.  Well, as I account these things. 

Sleep was good.  Will be again.  I woke, thinking I needed a water closet run.  Not so much, just pain from the dream wounds, again.  As mentioned, healing seems to be happening.  Even if there are no actual wouns, or exactly as dreamed, there is something wrong.  A spasm, from a serious flinch, from the dream wounds?  I can't say.

A dream or a fan?

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Or a bit of both?

Three bullets, from a rifle, not a pistol.  Medium to shorter range.  From behind.  In a fairly small cluster, all within two inches anyway, three.  One coming out just a couple inches below and to the right of my belly button, to give you an idea about placement.  The rest lower.