A bit late, but better.

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I didn't get to bed until nearly 23:00.  Still, it beats midnight, or running on three in the morning.  And, it's a first beginning step at taking and keeping days.  This is the most difficult trick I haven't yet been able to do.  So, if I can do it?  Life, for me, will change.

If I can roll back the night, to maintain days.  And, then I can control stats... bp, blood sugar, pulse.  And, then, I can eat in such a way that my body can build some muscle back, and keep it, then do that.  Not a lot of muscle, just enough to allow reasonable function, maybe even function and play... say hiking.  Then I can, maybe, try to find a job.  Or get back to school.

I am sprinting, in my mind.  While still stumbling to even stand at a right time in real life.  But I see a possible trend.  I want that... trend... to continue.  There are... real possibilities in it.  It is difficult to imagine, but impossible to ignore.  Something IS changing.

First, continue as I am.  Food planning, caloric and macro management.  Medicine management, and other tending.  Then, in time, exercise.  Perhaps going back to the books, as I am able... reviewing calculus, though algebra, trig, and geometry too... all required for calc.  Then, a preview, review, of engineering materials.  Electrical?  Mechanical?  To be honest, I'd like mechanical to go into guns.  I'm just not absolutely certain there is any real... movement in that field remaining?  Though, at my age, there may be no room for employment.  It may just be... a passive hobby.  Though, who knows.

I was quite pleased this morning.  Blood sugar is 104 fasting!  I have only had one blood sugar, fasting, that good in... the last decade?  It was 103, and Jean commented about it.  I am using 40 cc's of slow acting insulin.  Plus 8 to 12 cc's of slow acting.  That has been decreasing.  I had been on 25 slow acting, and anywhere from 40 to 60, even... sometimes, usually, more... fast acting.  So, definitely a reduction.  I would say, usually, minimally, 85 cc's total before, now at 50 cc's max, and falling.  More commonly just one dose at 4 to 6 cc's this last week?  Or so.  BP is 130/85 with a pulse at 75.  Then again, mixing meds a bit, and just taking it...  meh.  Wanted to see raw a raw read, I guess that is it.  I could take it three more times, get the average way low, but... nah.

Now, if blood sugar lowers, more, I will have to sort out which works better.  To begin going without fast acting, or to cut down on slow acting.  But, for now, it is as it is.  I am flying as much on instinct as knowledge.  I suppose, as with all things, trial and error will have to be applied.  No one knows?  How many people get to where they can begin cutting insulin, and are on two types?

Oh, but I made a mistake with medicine.  I took two day pill doses, rather than a day and night yesterday.  Ugh.  Must have been distracted.  Still, I got two doses in.  It'll mostly do.  I just need to make sure to add water pills in today.  I have been gaining water, for some reason.  Drinking too much fluid?  Too sedate?  A bit of both?  So, I am taking a larger amount than usual, and had increased to 2 pills, before that.  Ugh... the trouble with tribbles?  Or... water.  :p  Yea, if you thought tribbles were bad... you ate never had water problems.

I think I'll get to rabbits right first thing.  Cats are... on the menu.  To be fed an half an hour before I eat.  The timer is set.  Which will set me up to make food to be ready by noon.  I like that trick.  I have had my first water, and electrolytes.  Why electrolytes every day?  Because I pee so much.  Sweet pee... one wrong letter can urine the whole thing.  :p  Or... improve it?  Who knows.

It is 10 F, out there.  But, I am starting to get used to it.  It looks to be a sunny day, though that won't mean a whole lot.  Very crisp.  Still, I'll get to chores very shortly.  I just turned the heat up a bit.  To warm the waterers and my gloves.  While setting water to heat for tea.  A little warmth in ya, as you go out, doesn't hurt a bit.

So... rabbits.  Then, maybe, a shower.  Then cats and lunch breaking fast.  Then starting on dishes?  Boxes too?  Today might be the day.  The first real step back into life, and the rest of it.  Oh, I... like it.  Just a maybe, a dream perhaps, but... given that it is deep dark winter, and I am imagining possibilities?  No, this is a very good sign.  May be no truth to it.  But there might be.  I am not an optimist.  But I have been a very successful pessimist.  What did Christ do, when Thomas doubted?  Showed.  Amen.