Such dreams!

.

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I had thought I would dream of some Christmas past.  A time, as a child, or youth, when family, friends, gifts, and food were in plenty and generous.  If, of course, I dreamed a thing.  I suppose, when I was a child, I did as a child.  When I became a man, I put these things away and took up things as a man.

No, my dreams were of speaking with great theologians, doctors of the church.  Though, to be honest, our conversations were short.  We... weren't gathered to do exposes on our understandings, or discuss what we thought were the best or most sure notions regarding various considerations.  We were there, waiting, for His birth... in a time before that time.  We knew, even at His conception, our Lord had won.

It seems we waited a near eternity.  When He was born, our joy was great.  Oh, we did discuss things.  We did talk.  In quiet moments.  If mostly focused on what was about to happen.  Imagine, once a saint, safely in heaven, taking pilgrimages through time... to be there... to see.  And with the ones you love.

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The next dream was to be in God the Father's presence.  As a son before his Father.  Adoration, praise, prayers, directly.  How could this be.  Tears of joy, and of sadness, wiped away.  Humility, but that too set aside.  Averted eyes, but brought to look into His glory.  I could not see until I could not fail to see.  But what I saw was too much for... me to know here.

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I am sure there is more, but I can't... give more.  Swallowed in moments, or eons.  I'm not sure there is a difference there.  I didn't even mind returning.  Who can worry, after seeing.  Being crippled, in pain, unable?  It's... okay.  It's really okay.  I woke, not able to go back to sleep.  I'll get there, soon.  Just wanted to write these things, and maybe take a shower.

Oh, and... saw something I thought to share.  This father, I have been... interested in his work for some time.  I don't know what has happened with him.  Busy, sort of lost in things, but not doing much.  He seems to be starting up something.  I have a few of his books, would appreciate more.  I, too, got lost in things, and medicine, and dying, and living, and... all else.

Anyway, he is doing something and I thought to offer him what support I am able.  I... have my doubts, at times.  And would have a few questions, should we meet.  But, if he truly believes as he presents, I... appreciate him to a very powerful degree.  Not that that means much to him, you, or in reality, unless or until it does... or just doesn't matter.  Oh, besides his books, there is a Latin book, translated, he does a forward to, which I really want to get my hands on.  Tradition... is what it is about.

For one who came from the dark, to look into the light so deeply, I now seek only further understanding, and have a belief in a very particular set of understandings.  That translated book is probably a prize, for my greater understanding.  God put it all out.  But left men to put it to order?  Yea.  And... I'm not... so great at that.  Amen.